-- THIS IS GOODBYE && [nell]

[ASHTON CAMDEN RALEIGH]

Ashton dropped the last box in his room and wiped the sweat from his forehead, smiling in spite of the fact that his arms were sore from heavy lifting. "I think we're done," he announced. His father took a quick glance around the room and nodded in satisfaction. "Looks like it." The farmhouse was not exactly what he'd been expecting when his parents had announced that they were moving, and he certainly hadn't expected it to be in Maple Hollow. His parents confessed they'd been planning to move closer to his birthday as a surprise but that they'd gotten a much better deal if they promised to buy the property and move in early. He didn't care what the occasion was, he was enthralled by the idea that he could finally reside here for real. Ashton's stomach growled and interrupted his train of thought, causing his dad to chuckle. "All that work giving you a bit of an appetite?" He pulled out a crisp twenty from his wallet and passed it off to Ashton. "Why don't you go into town and grab something to eat? Your mother and I will need to stock the fridge tomorrow."

Glad of the chance to break from moving all of the stuff into their new house, Ashton went into the garage where the car was parked and turned on the heat to warm it up a little before he got inside. It was an old car and it was probably nearing the end of its life but it was still decent enough to get him from place to place. He could see his little brother exploring the huge yard that they could now claim ownership to. The barn that had come with the house was quite clearly unoccupied considering they didn't own so much as a cat and it was also shabby and nearly collapsing in on itself. It's why they'd got the property at an affordable price. His father insisted that he planned on fixing it up and doing 'something' with it but Ashton neither knew nor cared what that something was. He was just happy to be here. The Hollow wasn't all that familiar to him even though he'd been here a few times with friends from school and had stayed for two weeks in the summer, so it took him a while of driving to find his desired location—Burger King. He left his coat in the car and shivered as a blast of frigid air met him upon stepping outside of it. He jogged up to the door and was quick to slip in and pull it shut beside him.

There was a line and the person in front of him took several long minutes to place their order, but Ashton did not mind. Where one person might have gotten irritated and suggested that others decide what they wanted before they approached the counter, Ash just waited and drank in the smell of salt and meat that fast food places generally tended to carry. When his turn arrived, he got a chicken sandwich combo and upgraded his drink to a large, sliding into a booth by one of the windows. It might have been inconsiderate to take such a large table when he was only one person but the place wasn't packed and so he didn't think that anyone would mind. He liked the view and the small cluster of two-person tables near the front window were already occupied. The fries had been made fresh and the salt shocked his tongue, the flavours familiar and welcome. A home-cooked meal would likely have tasted better but he understood that moving all of the beds and important furniture into the house had been more important than anything else today.

[NELL DOE DALE]

Nell couldn’t say whether or not she enjoyed the short hours at the daycare. She didn’t get paid as much considering, and she really did like the environment and staying busy. However, on days like this when she barely had anything to eat that day thanks to the fact that she also couldn’t really sit down and have something to snack on. As usual, even though her stomach was adamantly protesting it, she stayed after to help clean up. That was when Ms. Kustack attacked her, apparently having noticed her ring, and offered to take her out for drinks to celebrate. Nell had to remind her that she was still underage, and the woman waved her off and said she could have one or two drinks in celebration. ”Close enough,” she told Nell, who laughed. Of course, even though it was rather apparent the teacher was big on wine, she knew what she was doing with the kids. And she wasn’t about to offer any of them a glass, even though she apparently encouraged it with Nell. The Earth girl instead offered that they go out to eat sometime, because it would be nice to get to know the woman who she spent so much time around, but right then Nell was ready to get her hands on any food she could. That was why she was quick to hop into her car and drive to the nearest fast food restaurant, Gwen’s heat working its magic like always.

It wasn’t all that long of a drive, and when she parked on the street, lamenting having to abandon the heating, her eyes caught a car that she hadn’t at all been expecting. In her surprise, she couldn’t help but say. ”Is that a Pontiac GTO?” She blinked at the car, her mind momentarily off of food. Her choice of future car was caught between the Pontiac and the Mustang. If she did decide on the GTO, she’d give it a custom paint job, that was for sure. Focus on your mission, Nell, food. But before then, Nell rooted around in her bag and let out a silent ‘aha’ when she found a pen. If she were lucky,though… She pulled out the sticky notes with a grin. They were almost always on her, because one never know when a pad of them would come in handy. She remembered last year when she made a path of them on the walls in the Academy, and smiled fondly at the memory as she wrote down her note. ‘You have a cool car.’ She scrunched up her nose as she thought of how there seemed to be something missing, and added a smiley face before peeling it off and sticking it to the windshield, under the wipers. Hopefully the owner would be pleased that instead of a ticket, they got a fan. It made her feel good—she felt that she should do it more often.

Right, food, stomach running on empty… She shivered from the cold, and thought of how it would also be nice to escape the winter climate. Tucking the sticky notes back into her bag, she made her way to the Burger King she knew was nearby. It was packed, but she didn’t mind. More bodies, more heat, and more people to potentially start conversation with. She was alone, after all, and she didn’t like that feeling. After getting her two meals from the value menu—she was tempted to get a third—she turned with the bags in hand and brightened when she saw a familiar face sitting at a nearby table. It excited her, seeing as she hadn’t spoken to Ashton in…jeez, it has been a long time. This encouraged her as she slid into the seat across from her, tilting her head as she smiled. ”Hi,” she said. ”It’s been a while, Ash, how you doing?” Nell made herself comfortable as she took her boxes out, her brown eyes bright with interest. ”Ooh, what did you get?” she asked, not that it would be anything exceptional, considering this was Burger King. ”Two Whopper Jrs for me. I wonder if both of them together make a Whopper Sr. Huh…” She seemed to mull over this as she stuck the straw in her soda.

[ASHTON CAMDEN RALEIGH]

Ashton was not expecting anyone to come down and sit beside him. Though the Earth elemental was generally a friendly guy that would start conversations with random strangers if they looked like they needed company, he didn't always expect other people to do the same with him. Nor was he expecting the face to be a familiar one, so he nearly choked on his drink when he noticed that it was Nell. Red-faced with embarrassment, Ashton was just glad that he hadn't done a spit-take and sprayed her with fountain Coke in his surprise. He had not spoken to Nell in several months and truthfully had not planned to. She had lied to him, lied to everyone. He remembered the war when everyone had blindly believed that the sweet and supposedly innocent girl could not possibly be responsible for the death of Cynthia Bainbridge. And while that was true, while Cyn's death had proved to be of a different cause, that did not change the fact that she had been a murderer all that time. A murderer of her own mother. He'd seen the news story with his parents, sitting around their cramped kitchen table and watching the tiny, box-like TV that sat on the counter. He had not been expecting the story to be about his friend. His parents had questioned why he went off his food so quickly and he'd lied, saying that he wasn't feeling well and that he'd eat something later. In reality he'd just been crushed and in disbelief that someone he regarded so highly would turn out to be a killer.

Nevertheless, Ashton had always been rather terrible at rejection. It had been easy to try and push Asha away because she'd abandoned him when he was in love with her but Nell was different, Nell was a friend. She had clearly gotten away with the murder or she wouldn't be sitting across from him right now but it did not change the uncomfortable fact he was now dining with a murderer. "Oh, hi, Nell." His tone was not as enthusiastic or cheery as it would have been were he still oblivious but neither did it sound upset. He wasn't good at coming across as angry or standoffish. He supposed that was a huge reason he was an Earth elemental. "Not a bad bone in your body, boy," is what his grandmother used to say to him. "Not a strong one either, mind you. Do they feed you enough at home?" She was a brutal, toughened little woman. It was almost funny to consider that she stood more of a chance in a fight than he did. She was spunky and social like her Water kin. He'd been softer than that, more reserved, less prone to fighting. "I'm alright," he lied, but did not go into much detail. He was still an open person by default and could not help but to add, "My parents moved up here so I could stay on at the Academy." He didn't know why he wanted to give her an explanation of why he was here. She'd never explained anything to him.

Her appetite was jarringly familiar. It was like nothing had changed, yet everything had. He'd avoided her determinedly for the months following the trial. Conversations like this were hard for him—he didn't want her to stay there, talking to him as if everything was alright with the world, but he also didn't want to be mean. He wasn't a cruel person. "How are things with you?" He wanted to kick himself as soon as the words were out of his mouth. He wanted to shove his foot so far down his throat that he never spoke again, because his friendliness was damning him. It was habit to ask people how they'd been and how they were doing, especially when he hadn't seen them for some months. You don't care. You're not supposed to care. But he did, in a way. It was just too weird. He didn't like the idea that he felt friendship toward a murderer. He was disgusted with himself, just as he'd been disgusted upon realising his trust for Asha had been misled. I'm just an awful judge of character. The thought was sad. "Chicken sandwich," he said, still unsure of why he was having this conversation. A braver, less sensitive person would have shown her the door (or at least another table) by now. Ash only wished he could be that person.

[NELL DOE DALE]

Nell detected nothing of suspect in her friend’s tone. She was just very excited to talk to him, to finally have time to catch up with one of the first friends she’d made at the Academy. One of the first friends she’d made in her entire life, come to think of it. It was ashame that they both appeared to be busy, too busy to even cross paths even though they were in the same element. She had work, school, she liked volunteering whenever she could, and she had other friends she would like to keep in contact with. Her days were jam-packed because she wanted them that way, because she’d missed so much in her life and in the months of her depression—she had making up to do. And Ashton…well, she didn’t know because it had been so long since she’d spoken to him. ”Yeah, you’re from Vancouver, right?” she said, remembering the details that he’d shared with her. ”Are you glad for the move?” She knew he wanted some extra time after school let out in the Hollow last year, so she could assume that he wasn’t too upset about it. Still, she didn’t know if it was a good move or a bad move.

Still unaware of anything being off, she smirked when he asked after herself. ”Pretty good,” she replied before eating a few fries. After swallowing down some soda, she lifted her hand and waggled her fingers, sure that Ashton would understand why she was directing attention to her hand. ”I’m great. actually,” she said, not being able to help the now mischevious smile on her face. ”…and engaged,” Nell said, not being able to hold back the excitement that she felt. Engaged, it was such a nice word. ”Josh proposed. Of course, we’re not getting married yet. A bit too young.” She said that just in case Ashton didn’t know that she’d still been going out with the Fire graduate. That was how much time had passed, after all. Being the person she was, she couldn’t just focus on herself and wanted to inquire after her friend and his own love life. ”How about you and Asha? How are things with you guys?” She was unaware of anything that may have happened between the two, since she didn’t even know the girl herself. She’d heard about her, of course, but that was as far as her knowledge went. All she knew was that Ashton had been dating her and she'd been happy for him.

Starting in on her Whopper, she was still polite enough in her gluttony that she wouldn’t talk with her mouth ful. That was rude and disgusting, and contrary to what her aunt would like to believe, she was no heathen. So she took another sip of her drink before nudging over her fries, ”Wanna share? I’ve got more than enough.” She rolled her eyes good-naturedly. Even though her appetite was enough to finish the meal, she enjoyed sharing her food. Took great joy in it, actually. It was even better when she could provide her friends with meals, and she’d have certainly bought Ashton something if he hadn’t already been eating. ”Nice and salty today, I can practically feel my arteries clog.” She was joking, of course, not too concerned. It wasn’t like she had a diet of only fast food. Supersize Me proved that only a large amount of fast food could make you seriously, serious sick. But she liked to not think of that movie when eating.

[ASHTON CAMDEN RALEIGH]

He nodded mutely when she mentioned Vancouver and would have preferred to leave it there. He did not want to be sitting here right now, talking to Nell as if everything was alright and he wasn't thinking about the fact she was a killer. Nell, ever the friendly one, ruined this hope by questioning him further. The inquiry made him uncomfortable as questions never had before but he didn't know what else to do expect for answer. "Yeah," he said softly. It was quieter and less enthusiastic than it would have been if he was talking to another friend but not enough to be noticeable. He still sounded friendly and not at all upset. He wished he was better at conveying his awkwardness, maybe then Nell would take the damn hint and leave him alone. "It's close to all my friends." It's close to you, too. He wasn't so happy about that last. He would have preferred to be as far away from Nell as possible. See, Ashton didn't deal with problems—he ignored them. He liked to pretend that issues did not exist when he wasn't sure how to handle them and that meant things piling up until they were mountainous and unavoidable. Rather than confronting Nell, he'd dodged out of her company and pretended she did not exist. Now he was paying for that by her oblivious attitude toward the situation.

He was happy for her good mood. More than happy. Relieved. Why am I relieved? It made him even less comfortable. He wanted to hate her. Why could he never hate people the way he wanted to? It would have been frustrating but he wasn't good at anger any more than he was spite. He was happy that Nell was good. That she was great, apparently. That she was... engaged? The information took him by surprise and he blinked. He'd known that she was dating Josh Dale but he didn't know they'd gotten that serious. "O-Oh, congratulations!" He stammered slightly in his shock and couldn't help a smile. It was a knee-jerk reaction. Cut that out! He looked a lot more happy and cheerful than he felt. Did he feel happy? He wasn't entirely sure. His congrats had been sincere and he hated them for being so—what did that make him? Bitter? Conscience was a wonderful thing and one that never seemed to have a straight answer. He now saw the ring on his friend's—no, ex-friend's—finger that he had missed before. "I'm happy for you." Then she asked about Asha. Oh no.

More emotions joined the already muddled and mixed-up bunch, making him feel a little sick with confusion. He didn't know what to think of the break-up. He was both over it and not. He had 'moved on' in a way but he was still a little affected by it. He supposed that was natural. "They, uh, they aren't," he admitted a little awkwardly. The only good thing about Nell's broaching the subject was that he was not thinking about her any more at the moment. The reality of the situation would come back in a moment but right now he was remembering how he'd welcomed Asha back, albeit hesitantly, and she'd gone and fucked him over again. Just like Nell did. And now he was back to square one. Great. "She left. I'm not sure where." He remembered the friendly conversation he'd shared with Nell in the garden about her. Nell was the only one who knew. I wish I could have talked to her about it. But he hadn't then and couldn't now. "It's okay, though. I'm over it." He thought.

He shook his head politely and laughed at the comment. It was not a bright laugh but an uncomfortable one, this time actually sounded as strained as it felt. He didn't think he could share her food when he was sitting here and resenting her for the many times she'd lied to him but he also didn't know how to begin telling her off about it. He'd never been good at rejection, not even of friendship. Ashton was just too nice guy to be the mean one. Still, he was also a terrible liar. If asked, he wouldn't know what to say except the truth.

[Ashers is so confuse. xD She can notice his awkwardness in the last paragraph and question it if you need something to work with? xD]

[NELL DOE DALE]

Ashton seemed quieter than sual, but Nell didn’t thin anything of it. She didn’t automatically assume things, and didn’t think too long on it. Maybe he was having a bad day. Or maybe it was nothing at all and she was imagining things. In the end, she simply ate contentedly, not talking herself as she took bites of her burger. She wiped her fingers off on a napkin, leaving grease mars behind, when he responded. She noted the surprise in both his voice and expression. ”Thanks,” she said, her voice carrying on a laugh. Ashton seemed happy, and she guessed that engagements were good for that—they made everyone happy. She liked telling people just to see their eyes light up, to see them smiling as if they were speaking with the messiah. She wondered what it was. Happiness. Plain and simple, she liked that explanation. ”I’m happy too,” Nell said, her tone soft. It was nice having this feeling again after so long, having her faith restored when it had seemeingly taken a long vacation after her trial.

She didn’t return to eating while Ashton spoke, being respectful in that aspect. Her eyebrows drew together and she turned her head when he said that they “aren’t”. Well what did that mean? Eyebrows still knitted, they lifted up at his explanation. ”Left?” she repeated. She leaned back, her ass sliding forward in the seat. ”Huh.” It was strange, how people could just disappear like that. She ahted when the world prove her worst theories right? What did Robert Frost write? The Outsiders? “Nothing gold can stay.” Rather, nothing can stay at all, and nothing was built to last. ”That sucks, I’m sorry you had to go through it.” Her voice was tight, disappointed—disappointed to hear that something like that happened to her friend, that the world could be so shitty sometimes. She didn’t even think about the comfort of Josh’s promise, that it would be hard for him to leave her as Asha had done to Ashton thanks to the fact that an engagement was a big thing. Her attention was all on Ashton. ”Still a terrible thing to do.” Abandonment was almost a crime in her mind. But then again, she didn’t know why Asha left or where she’d gone. That didn’t excuse it. Nell’s lips twitched into a smile. ”Glad to hear you’ve moved past it though.”

She returned to eating then, eyeing her companion as she finished her first burger. She had a feeling that she wasn’t just imagining things, because she usually didn’t imagine her friends being uncomfortable. Nell didn’t know what was wrong, so it took a little while for her to decide what exactly she should ask, afraid that she might hit a sensitive spot if her suspicions were proven right. ”Something up, Ash?” she asked after polishing off the last of her fries and shaking her cup to see just how much soda she had left. ”You’re a little quiet.” Her usually half smile had settled onto her features to show that she didn’t really mind the quiet, she was just worried about him and what it may have meant. It wasn’t only the quietness, either, it was the strange sense of awkwardness. She liked people, was empathetic enough to usually pick up on cues from then. It’s what helped her gauge a situation, it was like a tool for survival.

[ASHTON CAMDEN RALEIGH]

Ashton had all but stopped eating since Nell had sat down, feeling much too awkward and a little bit sick as his gut twisted in worry. He didn't want to be sitting here with her right now, didn't want to have her asking these questions that suggested they were still the best of friends and that everything was alright. He nibbled half-heartedly at his sandwich but put it down after only another bite or two. He'd been hungry when he'd left the house and now it felt like eating was the last thing he wanted to do. He wanted to get out of here, to go home and flop down on the bed in his room. He'd still be sharing that room with his little brother until they repaired the loft room for someone to take. It almost felt strange to be having such normal, rational thoughts in between all his worry and discomfort. He really did feel glad for Nell and her happiness in a way but couldn't say much more about it, didn't know what to say. Instead he focused on his own failed relationship, the polar opposite of Nell's which had now become an engagement on top of everything. He still felt he should be unhappy for her but couldn't find the feeling to summon it forth. "Yeah, it sucks. I'll manage." He shrugged as if it really didn't matter, as if it hadn't broken his heart twice over when his girlfriend had left him more than once. He didn't feel like crying or curling up into a ball, though. Maybe he was over it.

Ashton tensed when she pointed out his silence. He didn't know whether he was glad of her noticing or not. It had been difficult to feign cheerfulness—or feel it, when it had not been faked—but he wasn't sure of his current situation, either. She had caught onto him. "No, I'm okay," he lied instinctively, then promptly kicked himself. Damn it. It was almost knee-jerk reaction to assure his friends that everything was alright in the world. She's not my friend! Then what was she? He couldn't bring himself to outright hate Nell. There was a bitterness and there was a distrust. A strong sense of distrust that stemmed from the fact she'd killed her mother and yet led everyone to believe she was the innocent Earth needing protection during the first war. He couldn't trust her after that. But could he hate her? He wasn't sure. It didn't feel like hate. Ash really wasn't sure what hate even felt like seeing as he didn't really hate anyone. He'd been angry at Asha when she'd returned but he hadn't hated her. And now he was upset with Nell for lying to him as much as she had, lying to everyone as much as she had, but he didn't hate her. He was just confused. He shifted awkwardly and looked away toward a pair of friends laughing as they talked about something or other. If he'd never found out, that could have been him and Nell right now.

But it wasn't, and he had, and Ashton knew that he couldn't go on lying like this. "I know about what you did," he said a little quickly and abruptly, forcing the words past his lips before he could think about changing his mind. He wanted Nell out of his life because it was far too difficult to battle with himself to figure out how he felt about her. He was both angry and drawn to her. She was such a likeable person. He hated that about her, even if he didn't hate the girl herself. Never hate. It was more of a strong dislike and wariness. "About the trial." Would that be enough? Would she realise now what it was that had been plaguing him? He'd certainly heard enough people talking about it. It wasn't something that the entire school had found out about but a number of people had and to hear them bash her made him bristle a little with the desire to defend. He never had. He couldn't really think of how to defend a murderer. So he wouldn't. "You lied to me and everyone else, Nell," he said, shaking his head. Ashton stood up, eager to get the hell away from this place. "I don't think I can trust you any more. I don't think we can be friends."

[NELL DOE DALE]

Nell first attributed Ashton’s awkwardness to the fact that she brought up a girl who pretty much walked out on him. But then she thought about it, and tried to reevaluate him since the time she entered the establishment. He hadn’t just started acting all quiet and weird when when she brought up Asha. She returned to her arguments of something happening that day, or maybe he was just not in a good mood. It happened. But even when she thought this, she knew that this wasn’t Ashton. She knew him, he was her friend, and usually one could tell when something was up, even when trying to make excuses for it. The first step she believed she should take in trying to diagnose the situation was to drop the subject of Asha. That was easy enough. Not like she wanted to remind Ashton of the girl, even though he said he moved on, and not like she had anything else to talk about when it came to that anyway. She could always talk about something else. He may not have been very talkative, but she was, and she could handily assist the situation.

His words were random, at least in her mind. She didn’t know what he meant by ‘what you did’, and it sounded almost like a line from a movie, or a murder mystery. She lifted her eyebrow at first, taking it as joking. Then she assesed the situation, she assesed his behavior and his demeanor. Nell stopped eating, steadied her brown eyes on his, blinking curiously. What is he on about…? And then he spoke the damning words, and it was like a vice gripping down on her stomach. She almost smirked at how shitty this was, a nervous reaction on her part. Or something. She didn’t know. Right now she knew that no matter where you go, you can’t escape your past, and the people you care about most are going to find out about it. Suddenly the ‘what you did’ part sounded less humorous, and a lot more horrible. Because ‘what you did’ was kill her mother, and run away, and get by the only way she felt safe. If she thought his first words were bad enough, she almost wasn’t ready for the impact of the others. But she’d heard similar ones before. Still didn’t brace her, still didn’t make her feel better. So he’s breaking up with me? she thought ironically as he stood up. What did she do in this situation? What did she say? Should she do what she always did and just let him walk away?

She sighed, ran her fingernail around the plastic lid of her soda, eyes unreadable. ”Yeah, I guess I did lie,” Nell said, and that was quite the understatement. She’d lied about everything she was, down to who she was. But I’m the same person, a part of her wanted to argue. Her personality was the same. ”I didn’t lie about the fact that I like you.” She didn’t lie about anything else. All she wanted to do was sweep her past under the rug, because it was just that—her past. She didn’t think when she first met Ashton that it would come back to bite her in the ass. She didn’t think that she’d have to deal with a trial or any other repurcussions having to do with what she did. Nell wondered how she could be so naïve. You always pay, you couldn’t escape, and these are the lessons life taught. ”Just want you to know…I’m sorry. For everything.” Her eyes were still on his when she said this, because it was the truth. This was honesty. The most painful kind of honesty, actually. ”But we don’t need to be friends. I understand that. You don’t have to trust me.” When she said it though, it hurt worse than she thought. Everything she did, she did it so people could trust her and feel safe with her and feel like they can ask her for anything. What she did was so counterproductive and it was now causing her to lose a person that she’d do absolutely anything for. But she’d let him walk away. It was his decision.

[ASHTON CAMDEN RALEIGH]

Ashton noticed that Nell did not immediately react, seeming more puzzled than uncomfortable by his words. He might not have been the most observant or clever guy on the planet but he guessed that she did not know what he was talking about just yet. Had he been a more spiteful person, Ashton might have sneered and told her that she should really understand murder as being a big deal and one that people liked to spread around. As it was, a part of him wanted to retract his statement and make an excuse to get out of here. What he was planning to say, to do, it wasn't going to be easy on either of them. He hated causing problems for people and this would be a problem for Ashton as well as Nell. Yet he knew it was necessary. He did not like talking to her because all he could think about was this girl killed her own mother and she lied to everyone about it. Who knew what else she'd fibbed about? He'd never taken her to be a dishonest person but now that Ash realised just how soundly she'd tricked a lot of people he wasn't sure he could trust a single thing she said. Oh, there were some things he didn't doubt—her relationship seemed to be working well and there was no reason to question that, she seemed alright herself, and maybe she did still like him. But he couldn't feel the same. A part of him wanted to remain friends with Nell but that part of him was buried underneath all of the doubt and the upset that her betrayal had caused.

"Maybe you didn't," he said, and his cheeks flushed a little when he noticed his voice sounded strained. Ashton cleared his throat forcefully, not wanting to sound like he was as upset about this as he was. He shook his head and swallowed hard. Why was this so difficult? It should have been a lot easier for him to cast a cold-blooded killer out of his life. He knew that, rationally, he should feel nothing for her. She'd fabricated almost everything he knew about her, hadn't she? Even her own name. She was not Nell Shepherd but instead Nell Sinclair Fuentes. The name sounded weird to him because it was not the one he'd learned to recognise her by—but it was hers. Nell Shepherd he'd known, Nell Sinclair Fuentes he had not. "Maybe you do like me. But I can't feel the same way. Not any more." It was harsh and it was hard to force the words past his lips, but he did it. He could not look her straight in the eye as he spoke because he was worried that his words might waver or crack. He didn't want Nell to know how difficult this was for him. Would she exploit that weakness, try to manipulate him again? Now all of the reasons he'd doubted her in the first place flooded back to him. She'd lied. Why should he feel bad?

Knowing that it was wrong to gain strength from bitterness, Ashton nevertheless took hold of that conviction. He glanced at her, green gaze hardened. "That doesn't matter," he said. His voice was thick but it didn't tremble. He could never feel angry but this was as close as he could get. Bitter. Bitter and upset that one of his closest friends was a liar and a killer. "No, we don't," he agreed when she said that they didn't need to be friends. "And we can't. I can't. I don't think I could ever trust you again." He left, then, abandoning his barely touched meal. He was normally a lot more courteous to the staff of the fast-food chain by clearing the tray and placing it on the stack of used ones but he was in too much of a mood to do anything but get away from there. His parents seemed confused by his early return but he made up an excuse about having felt nauseous and went upstairs to his room. Cameron was playing with the Legos on the floor and Ashton decided to help him out, just to get his mind off things. That was it. They weren't friends any more. Everyone I trust turns away. Maybe I should just stop trying.