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Post by DEVIN JAMES THATCHER on Nov 19, 2011 17:20:19 GMT -5
 Nervous. Completely and totally nervous. For the first time in a long time, Devin James Thatcher was nervous as hell. It was not over a test in class; he was intelligent and felt confident in his studies. It was not in regards to his friends; everything seemed to be smooth sailing now and everything was okay. No, Devin was nervous about a date. A date with a girl. It had been quite a while since nerves got the better of the blonde when it came to girls. In fact, if there had been a time he could not remember it right off the top of his head. He grew ever more anxious as the hours passed by that day. Like the world moved in slow motion. When the time came to get dressed, it took him a few minutes to figure out if he should turn around and walk away from all of this right now. Going with her would give off the appearance they were together, and after the fiasco at the lake he could not bear for her to deal with that. She’ll find someone better than me. Continued to run through Devin’s mind. Did he really want someone else to find her and scoop her up? If it meant her happiness, then yes. The boy flinched a little at the thought—what if the guy who swept her off of her feet took her away for good? There would be no second chances after that. I want her to be happy. If she finds that person, then that’s good. Maybe he was meant to live out his life in solitude and never stick with one person for too long?
Then why did that feel wrong in his mind? Shaking his head, Devin made way to the bathroom at his house and stared himself in the face. His tux was a sleek black, the tie a gentle bronzed silver that accented his skin tone rather nicely. It was simple. With a slight grunt he adjusted the tie and flattened out; partially to ease his anxiety and the other part to ensure it was the proper length. He was never all that good at putting on ties. Quickly Devin grabbed his hair gel and adjusted his hair in bits and pieces, making sure that it was not over done but enough to keep it from looking too scrappy. It didn’t look to bad, and with a satisfied smirk the boy left the bathroom and made his way out of the front door. Today, the day of the prom, was Judith’s last day in the country, and he felt awful for going to prom when he could be spending time with them. It was either that or hurt Autumn more, and for some reason the girl would not leave his mind. Devin could not quite understand why. Judith was kind and considerate of his choice and told him he could take the car instead of walking all the way to the academy in his nice suit. Jacket slung over his shoulder, Devin made way to the car and in no time he was parked at the school.
“Everything will be fine,” Devin coached himself with a faint smile on his features. That sentence…he said it before. But then, everything was not fine. Now was going to be different. It would be more than fine. He got out of the car and made way towards the entrance while putting on his jacket. A few of his own element waved and smiled and said hi, so he did stop briefly to make pleasantries with them before continuing on his way towards the mess hall. With every step he took, Devin felt more nervous than he had the previous ones. This is just prom. It’s just a dance. It was hard to convince himself, and so decided to try and ignore all of the feelings rushing through him. When he got up the steps to the academy and entered the building, it burst into life. People from all elements were present and dressed up in nice outfits. Although the war was still fresh and very much alive, it seemed that some people were trying to push that aside to enjoy one night of fun. Devin smiled; at least that took the edge off of his worries. Only the edge, however. The blonde stood in front of the mess hall, watching people come and go in their dresses and suits, waiting for the one person who made his stomach tangle up in knots just at the thought of her name. Was it a good feeling? For the most part. It did make him a little queasy, which was not fun. “Hey DJ, fancy meeting you here,” One of his fellow Earthie’s punched him playfully in the shoulder, to which he chuckled and nodded. “You too, Mason. You actually clean up nice.” Mason returned the laugh and shook his head before walking past, his date in tow behind him. Devin did not even take notice. “You clean up nice too Thatcher!” Inhaling deeply to keep control of the nerves, he waited patiently for her to appear.
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Post by renn on Nov 20, 2011 15:55:28 GMT -5
So now going to prom with him was going to be tough. She wanted to go, but yet did not. Everyone would look at them like they were together, but they weren’t. And she was not so sure if she could handle the rumors; the looks for that matter. Or Devin denying it all, probably going to find some other girl that was better than herself. It wasn’t really fair to herself to be thinking these thoughts, but it was true.
Devin had told her she needed to be happy, like he couldn’t provide the happiness for her. But, that was how boys think. They don’t think actually. Well, some due but in the wrong area. But Devin? Devin was different. He had made her happy even though she knew he wanted her to move on. It was as if he didn’t think that he was good enough for her, and that may be true in some aspects.
Except Autumn didn’t care about that. She wanted Devin. The real him; the humor, light hearted him. And all she had gotten that day was jumbled up Devin that didn’t know what to say. Well, she could understand that; she would have probably acted to same way if someone had just blurted out they liked her. Except for some reason, she just didn’t believe what Devin was saying…She thought there was something deep down that may have lied the caring for her. But it was probably gone by now; replaced by some other girl.
But he would have probably taken some one else if that had been the case, but yet they were still going to prom. Yeah, prom. A dance. Why was she doing this?
A sigh escaped her as she stood in her dorm room, having to stay there for winter break instead of going home. Her parents didn’t want her home. So she was having to get ready on her own with out another opinion from anyone. She bet almost everyone was given an opinion from someone, or even helped getting dressed. But that was not the case with Autumn. She had to do it herself.
So she sat down on her bed, her curling iron already on and ready. She took a good size of her hair and made a little wave with the curling iron. Silently she did the rest of her hair so the curls weren’t big and bulky but soft golden waves. Than as she turned the curling iron off she took her bangs from the right side of her head and braded it over the top of her head until it reached the left side and she tied a small being hair band around the strand so it stayed.
She blew out a puff of air as she stood up to look through her closet. A few days ago she had left the academy to go dress shopping and had actually found a nice one that fit her nicely. It was a blue strapless dress with black lace over it to make a double layer. Than in the middle of it right before it reached her rib cage, was a black ribbon, with a black bow on the right side.
Her hand shook slightly as she laid it on her metallic comforter, her hand trailing over the black lace for a moment. She silently hoped in her mind that Devin liked it. Than as she started to strip out of her white graphic tee shirt and blue jeans a box caught her eye. It was the shoes she bought for the dress. Why was she getting all dressed up for this guy? Because she wanted to impress him, maybe? Yeah, that was it.
She shimmied the dress up and than zipped it up when it was at the right height. She looked down at the dress that came just above her knees. A sigh escaped her as she walked across the room to the box and picked both of the sleek black high heels up and out of it before sitting back down on the bed. She slipped each shoe on with elegance to not scratch them before buckling them to where it wasn’t to tight, nor to loose.
Autumn slowly stood up; walking around for a few moments only stumbling once and that was at the beginning. She was almost ready to go to the mess hall. And her nerves were growing as she stepped up to her jewelry box and took out a sterling silver necklace that had a heart pendant dangling from the chain. The necklace had come from her grandmother when she was only nine. It had been her Christmas present before she died.
As she looked up at her reflection she saw someone different. It wasn’t Autumn standing there; but a more less-confident Autumn.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Her heels clicked on the pavement as she walked for the dance, she had no jacket on so she looked slightly out of place walking there, but it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter what everyone thought of her. Only one opinion mattered. Devin’s. She was still not quiet sure why, maybe because he was her so called “date”. Well, it wasn’t a date, it was more of a friend hanging out. And as she thought that, she flinched.
It still hurt.
She could hear the music, even from outside, and silently she passed people walking and walked up the steps before catching site of the actual dance when she pushed the door open. It wasn’t like anything she had ever seen. People were dancing, chatting, almost seeming to put back their differences for one night even though they knew a war was still going on. And well, all the hatred would go back to normal tomorrow.
A sigh escaped her as she looked around at the people. She looked out of place, and almost turned around and walked out when she saw Devin’s back to her. She swallowed the lump in her throat, almost taking a step back but she forced herself forward instead. It was time to get this show on the road so she took a few more steps further.
Her nerves were making her want to throw up, but she couldn’t do that now as she had finally approached behind him. Her hazel eyes looked up at the back of his head before opening her mouth to say hi. He hadn’t noticed her yet so she could turn around and exit if she wanted to.. But she didn’t. She couldn’t let Devin be on his own even though there was probably a few girls that would snatch him up. She took a deep breath.
“H-Hi..Devin..” Her voice was shaky, full of nerves and terror, but her voice was like bells at the same time. |
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Post by DEVIN JAMES THATCHER on Nov 20, 2011 16:28:45 GMT -5
THE SONG~
The longer he stood there, the more nervous he became. It was hard to focus on anyone in particular—girls and guys alike passed by him in a blur, unaware of his presence for the most part. A girl did pass by him and look him up and down with a quick snap of the eyes. Devin merely stared at her with a raised eyebrow. Feeling rejected the girl huffed and walked on through the doors and into the mess hall. His mind was only on Autumn. She was the only one that mattered now. Not that she knew that tiny detail, but that did not matter. The fact that she accepted his offer to the dance made him feel good, yet really shitty at the same time. Did she go because she did not want to let go of him? Or was it because she wanted to remain friends? Either way, the thoughts made his stomach churn. If she could not let go of him, it would only make this more difficult. Then again, if she just wanted to be friends and was already pushing him away there was no chance. He did not want to ruin her happiness. As he was about to turn around to check the other hallway for the girl, a voice reached his ears. It made his body freeze up and his mouth go dry. It sounded like the voice of an angel.
With a smile, Devin turned around and looked down at Autumn. His mouth literally fell open as he looked her over; the blue dress matched her perfectly, and her hair was gorgeous. It was always gorgeous. Hell, she was hot. His heart skipped a beat as he slowly closed his mouth and smiled down at Autumn, chuckling. “Hey.” Hesitantly the boy offered his hand to her, trying to keep himself steady. This feeling was new and a little scary; never had a girl made him so nervous but happy at the same time. “You look…wow. Just…wow. I feel under dressed around you now.” Devin rubbed the back of his head as he smirked and dropped his gaze to the floor. It was only brief, because he did not want to make this awkward. She was here. She was, at least in his mind, his date. They were going as friend to protect her, but Devin could not help but stray away from the line a little bit. “Come on gorgeous, I get to go show you off now.” Although the boy was flirtatious, he meant every word. She was gorgeous. She made him feel happy. The nerves began to ebb away, but it still made his stomach flip and flop every now and again. Taking her hand, he walked into the mess hall and took a good look around. The music was not extremely loud, but enough to draw his attention to the dance floor. The prom had already started, and so couples were already taking to dancing to the slower music being played by the DJ in the corner.
“Hey, DJ!” A voice called out from nearby. Devin turned his head to see another one of his friends waving at him as he approached. The blonde smiled and nodded as he shoved his free hand into his pocket. “Hey Thomas. What’s up?” The other boy glanced at Autumn, then back towards Devin with a smirk on his face. It was faint, but Devin could have sworn Thomas winked at him. “You got yourself a good catch. Finally tired of pickin’ the apples from the bottom of the tree, huh?” The blonde blinked for a moment, confused by the phrase. Oh. If he was referring to his choice in girls, then yeah, he usually did wind up picking the worst of the worst without even trying. But Autumn…he would actually have to get a ladder to climb that tree to pick the apple. She needed someone who would have done that in the first place. He did not deserve her. The nerves came back full force, unable to be placated. “No more rotten apples for me,” Devin finally replied with a bright smile. It was a good and simple answer that complemented Autumn but did not put them in the category of “dating”. It hurt, but it was for the best. For her. Thomas waved and went back to his group of friends, leaving Autumn and Devin standing alone. “Sorry about that. Thomas is just…Thomas.”
The music was still ringing in his ears; it was at least familiar, even if he did not know the song by heart nor who sang it. Then again, maybe sitting down and eating something first would be better. Probably not…I’m too anxious to eat anyway. But perhaps his date was hungry. That would not be fair to take charge completely and make her follow him everywhere. She was his equal. They made decisions together. With a half smile, his blue eyes met her face as he squeezed her hand. “Will you dance with me?”
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Post by renn on Nov 22, 2011 20:19:46 GMT -5
Did she look that good?
So to answer the thought she looked around at the crowd of dancing teenagers. It seemed like they were trying to put their differences aside even though they clearly knew a war was going on. And that did not mean that tomorrow it wouldn't start up again. She blinked at the thoughts; her eyes looking at everyone's outfits. Their were several people that looked better than her. Including Devin. He did really look good tonight.
Her eyes looked down at him, and scanned him up quickly. Beside him she looked like a warn out rag. Which her eyes snapped downwards to her dress as she messed with the lace. She blew out a puff of air before taking in a deep breath and looked back up at him. Her eyes locked with his as she cleared her throats and blushed more. He knew how to make a girl blush didn't he? She giggled a very girly giggle for a moment, smiling brightly even though her eyes were still dull.
It was like, the old Autumn everyone used to know, including Devin, wasn't here anymore. In her place was more a less-confident Autumn. It was different, and not very easily detectable, but yet it was. If you looked into her eyes they had lost their shine. And in their place was really nothing but dullness. It was kind of awkward, but Devin had broken her heart. Plus, coming to the prom as “friends” wasn't helping.
She still wanted to be friends; but she also didn't want to let go of him, and it was difficult because she knew she had too. For his sakes and hers. As long as she kept herself down and controlled; there shouldn't be a problem. The only thing was their friendship would possibly be affected. Not like she wanted it too, but it was possible. She could no longer tell him things without feeling awkward, and she most definitely would not tell him that she still liked him. Why would she if her heart would just get broken again?
Why cry all over again? Feel the actual feelings everyone went through? Over one guy that didn't want her. It made no sense. So indeed she would not do it again. If of course she could avoid it. Which she would try her hardest to. For her feelings, and his humiliation and guilt. She could easily tell it had been difficult for him to a some extent. Was it because he had to tell her no? Or was it just simply they were friends and he didn't want to see her hurting? Either way, she wouldn't make that mistake again. Not ever.
She looked up at him again, not even realizing she had dropped her gaze from his face. It was weird standing here with him with dancing piers around her, but maybe it was just her nerves. She swallowed and laughed slightly, “I think you're exaggerating, Devin,” She paused for a moment, “But yes you do, and I get to show off....My best friend.” Her eyes blinked for a moment, so much emotion flowed through her as she placed her pale hand in his.
That word...That one tiny word almost had her bursting into tears.
But she slowly composed herself to smile a very small smile as she twirled a piece of her hair around her free hands index finger. It was a habit when she got nervous. And she was way nervous. So she tuned into the rhythm of the music, and looked around at the crowd of people again. Slowly enough a slower rhythm took place of the pop and high strung music, and she bit down on her lip. Wow, this was awkward.
Silently she started to dwell into her thoughts again, her stomach knotting and un-knotting as she dove head straight into her thoughts again. That is until she heard someone shout out Devin's nickname. She jumped slightly and turned her head to look at a male advancing towards them. She knew him from somewhere, Thomas maybe? Yeah, it was Thomas. Her eyes looked up him up and down as he glanced at her, and she stayed quiet as they talked.
Than she heard Devin say something about no more rotten apples for him. Was this a compliment for her? Or was it just the nice thing to say about a friend? She swallowed, no matter if it was a compliment or not it made her blush even more so she looked away from the two. But before long their conversation was dwindling and than it was just Devin and herself standing alone on the corner of the dance floor.
It seemed as if her heart was beating out of her chest and she cleared her throat to look up at him as he apologized about his friend. Which of course she gave a slight flirtatious giggle, her eyes sparkling for just a moment before her eyes vanished back down to the dull color again. It was almost like the old Autumn had serviced for only a moment. But than of course she had disappeared so the new Autumn could regain control. “Don't worry about it. It's fine.” She smiled up at him for a moment.
But soon she looked down, and than her eyes snapped back up at him at his question. Did he just ask her to dance? Wow, that came out of no where. Well, not really. They were at prom of course. Where teenagers danced...But she took a deep breath, her eyes locking with his. “You sure about that? People might start thinking...That we are together...” She took another deep breath, “But if you are sure...Than sure.” Her ears just than caught a hold of a slow dance and she looked over to see several couples dancing along. It was a couples song. “It's a slow dance..” It was just a whisper; but if anyone was right next to her, like Devin was, it could be heard. |
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Post by DEVIN JAMES THATCHER on Nov 22, 2011 21:46:44 GMT -5
It stung. The word simply stung like a needle, maybe a bee sting, maybe something even worse. Possibly a thousand bee stings. No matter though, Devin did not reveal the pang of regret as he smiled down at her and walked into the room. He had rejected her feelings in lieu of keeping her safe from someone who was not deserving of someone so kind. Autumn needed someone who could give her only the best, and offer her things that he most certainly could not. Everything would just…not be special for her if she knew what my past was like. Devin’s past had a lot of clutter—a lot of kisses, a lot of touching, and although it was less than kissing there was also quite a bit of sex in his little black book. He was worn out. Not worth keeping. Instead of allowing all of this to come out onto the surface, he continued to smile at Autumn with a smile as equally bright as before. “There’s nothing to show off, Autumn,” Devin replied softly, his eyes momentarily becoming distant before returning to their normal shine. “But you on the other hand are breath taking. The blue looks really good on you.”
After talking to Thomas and sending him off to be with his date and other friends, he turned back to Autumn. She was smiling—in return, he also smiled. Something about this girl warmed up his insides from the very center. It was uncontrollable. She made him happy, just at the thought of her. Unfortunately, Autumn was not to know that small detail, because if she did then it could cause problems for them both. Devin would not be able to walk away, and she would want to choose a guy that was unworthy of even being in her presence. It was like standing in the midst of an angel. Cliché, Thatcher. Very cliché. No matter how cliché it might have been, it was very true. “If you’re sure.” He replied, eyebrows raised slightly as he searched her face with his piercing blue eyes. They rested on her lips for only a brief moment before finding her eyes once again, feeling guilty for even having the thought cross through his mind. He wondered if his conversation with Thomas made Autumn wonder about his ‘apples’ comment, but it was fleeting. There was no time to focus on that now. The music began to play soft and slow in the background, a smile forming on his handsomely boyish features.
“I’m positive. I’ve never been one to care what other people think.” With lightness in his step, Devin led his date to the dance floor; standing amidst the couples swirling around him was a bit daunting, but he had to stop thinking about it. He wanted to spend time with this girl. It meant more to him than she would ever know. Instinctively Devin wrapped his hands around her waist and attempted to lure her in close, his grip just enough to keep her there near him. The song was soothing, but the words rang in his ears loud and clear. They made him nervous. So very nervous. “I know it’s a slow dance,” He whispered back, his eyes glowing with a happiness that he only felt on the outside. Inside he felt like a tormented soul ready to break down and tell her everything. But I can’t. She doesn’t need that. It was difficult to do. “Now I can enjoy talking to you. Honestly, there are very few people I enjoy talking to. You are one of those few.” No matter what he did to protect her from dating him, no matter how much it hurt him that they were here as friends, his words held every ounce of truth he could possibly display. Talking to her put his mind at ease, and soothed his nerves. Just looking into her eyes made the entire world disappear. Nell was right. I do love her.
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Post by renn on Nov 23, 2011 16:08:02 GMT -5
“I beg to differ.” She smiled up at him for a moment before looking away, but she squeezed his hand again.
Her eyes scanned down at the ground for a few moments, a sigh escaped her as she took another deep breath. As she held hands with him her nerves were still going wild. She couldn't believe she was here with him. And most importantly it wasn't awkward like she thought it would be. Well, that wasn't quiet true. She felt that there was still tension radiating from her, and no matter what she did she couldn't get it to stop.
It wasn't like she wanted it to be awkward, but she knew it was going to happen. Like, you couldn't come to prom with a guy you have a crush on still after telling him and everything be okay. That wasn't how life or relationships worked. Did she wish it did? Autumn really did. It would make things a lot easier in her mind. And maybe that would actually give her a clear head to work through some of the things that were raising through her one track mind.
She could never double task; even with her own thoughts.
But as the moments ticked by, she jumped out of her thoughts at his voice again. Her eyes raised to him. And that's when a deep red blush serviced again and she cleared her throat. Her eyes dropped again as she smiled. She couldn't not smile even though she didn't want to! “Why thank you, Mr. Thatcher. You look pretty good yourself.” She giggled again and looked up him. He was so damn cute.
As he pulled her onto the dance floor with that boyish smile of his she couldn't help but wonder if this moment would be different if they were together. Well, it wouldn't be awkward for one and for two she wouldn't be trying to drop her gaze sometimes. It's just well he made her nervous. After everything, well she knew it would be that way for a while. But maybe they would slip into their old friendship again? It was possible. Nothing ever was really impossible.
She let him wrap his arms around her waist and she eased her arms around his neck, her eyes locking with his. “Aren't you worry it's going to ruin your reputation?” It was an honest question. She was worried that because of everyone he wouldn't want to be seen with her even though they were just friends and having a friends night of fun. Slowly she took a deep breath, looking around again before looking back at him, “I have to admit..I don't dance well...” She whispered back to him, her eyes searching his. She could see his happiness, and it just washed over her too. “You're the only person I have to talk too..” A small smile twitched the corner of her lip while there was a flash of pain and sadness in her eyes. |
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Post by DEVIN JAMES THATCHER on Nov 23, 2011 17:16:15 GMT -5
The gesture was simple; squeezing his hand could have implied many different things, but only the person receiving it could take it as they saw fit. For Devin, Autumn squeezing his hand was that of reassurance. He was very hard on himself, at least more so lately since turning the girl down. For once the boy was not secure in his looks, his mannerisms, his future…anything. He was completely and totally insecure. Instead of revealing those insecurities, Devin smiled down at her and returned her hand squeeze. “You’re too good to me.” And assuming that no one could hear, he muttered to himself, “Way too good.” Autumn had this innate ability to brighten his spirits yet at the same time make him feel completely and totally vulnerable. Her touch sent sparks throughout his entire body—if he could get away with it, he would have kissed her right then and there. Unfortunately they came as friends, and they needed to leave as friends. Devin’s desire to make others happy continued to linger around in his jumbled thoughts, ready to cheer up Autumn if absolutely needed. She always deserves to be happy. Even if that meant walking away from her forever.
At her complement, Devin chuckled and shook his head. No matter how much Devin wanted to believe her, it was becoming ever harder with each passing moment. Autumn had been hurt by his words, and yet there she was spending her time trying to make him feel better. She really was an angel. “Ah, I just threw on whatever I had at home,” Devin joked, waving her off. In fact, he went out of his way to buy this suit specifically for this dance. Judith refused to let the boy come to the prom in something old or worn out, and so she took him to get what he needed to look like an appropriate date. That was what Judith called Autumn—a date. He told her time and time again that they were only going as friends, but every time his Aunt laughed him off and told him to stop being so ridiculous. It was frustrating, but Devin had to admit the word date sounded so much better than friend. Hell, girlfriend sounded even better, but that would probably not happen. Autumn was going to find someone way more deserving of her. It made his heart wrench, but it was for the best.
Once they were on the dance floor and Devin pulled her in close, Autumn wrapped her arms around his neck. Her touch almost made him shiver, but he fought it back. She would surely take it as a bad thing, even though the feeling was far from negative. His thoughts drifted slowly towards other mental images that the boy quickly shoved away—he was not going to be able to have the girl, let alone kiss her or anything past that. Hugs seemed to be about the only thing they could do to ensure this friendship stayed just that: a friendship. Devin felt a lump form in his throat at her question. Reputation? What kind of reputation was that? He had to think on it for a moment, trying to understand exactly what it was she meant. Was it his reputation for going to these sorts of events with girls he wanted to get in bed, or wanted to date? Devin almost frowned; he truly was as bad as he thought he was. Autumn apparently knows this too. Why did…does…she even like me? I’m disgusting. Devin felt his chest grow tight and his eyes glaze over slightly with tears before pushing it all away and forcing out a smile. His heart was in great amounts of pain. “Even if I had a reputation, Autumn, I would toss it all away for you.” Did that sound the way he thought it sounded? It was too late to take it back now; if he did that would only cause more problems. That was the last thing he wanted. Instead he inhaled deeply and allowed his smile to become more genuine; her concerns about being a bad dancer distracted him from the deep sorrow he felt lurking in his stomach. It almost made him nauseous.
“I think you’re doing just fine,” Devin reassured her with a soothing voice, looking down at her with a soft glow in his eyes. Behind the glow was a lot of hurt, but now was not the time to reveal the aching he felt in his chest. Maybe one day, but not now. He wanted this night to be memorable, and happy. Had he known how much Autumn was suffering as well, things might have been different. Some of the suffering was confirmed when she stated that he was the only person she talked to—surely there were others? Even if not a friend, she had some other guy chasing after her and trying to win her over? Devin blinked a few times, trying to keep the shock off of his features. “I’ll always be there. I’ve always been there.” And that was true. His hands tightened on her waist a little, almost like when she squeezed his hand. “If you ever need anything, I’m around. I will always talk to you, as often as you’d like.” Fortunately for Devin, all of these things would have been said to any friend of his, and hopefully it was not evident he meant it in an entirely different way towards Autumn.
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Post by renn on Dec 1, 2011 17:56:11 GMT -5
She tilted her head slightly, her eyes searching his face. Why had he muttered? Was it bad? Was it about her? Suddenly she became very self-conscious and she cleared her throat. “Huh? Did you say something?” Her eyes looked down at the ground before looking back up at him. Why was he acting weird? Was it because they were at prom and only a few days ago had he turned her down? Or was it because he just really didn't want to be here? Either way she begin to twirl a strand of hair around her finger again.
Devin made her nervous. There was no real doubt in that. Even though he chuckled and shook his head at her compliment. He did really look nice, that had to be the sixth time that thought had come out. “Oh, you know you look good, don't play.” She laughed slightly. But even though she was giggling and smiling, she still felt dead inside. Devin made her happy, but he had broken her heart and being here with him at prom as a friend was even worse. So she looked away from him and at the other people around her for a long moment before turning her attention back to Devin as they started to sway to the music.
She blinked for a moment as he spoke about throwing his reputation away for her. He was such a tease, a flirt. He had broken her heart and now he stood saying things like that. It made her stomach turn and her eyes glaze over with tears of sadness. She took a deep breath hoping the tears wouldn't spill. He made her feel so bad even when it's supposed to make her feel good. “You would, eh?” She looked up at him, her eyes still slightly glazed with tears.
But what she saw when she looked up was Devin's eyes slightly glazed over as well. Was he crying to? Did he feel that bad? Or did she step on his foot? Oh dear. She hoped she didn't step on his foot. That would be bad. So the earth student closed her eyes for a moment. This was a disaster even though she didn't want it to be.
Slowly she saw his smile as she re-opened her eyes. And that had her putting a small smile on her lips. No matter how hard she tried, she wanted to smile around him, make him think she was doing okay when she really wasn't. But so far she wasn't doing a good job. And him reassuring her that she was doing just fine at dancing had her giggling, and looking up at him. Than she found herself searching his eyes for a moment but she pulled herself out of his gaze. “Really?” She smiled up at him, teeth actually showing this time instead of her hiding behind her lips.
It felt good to be given a compliment like that even though he had been throwing things like that out since they had been there.
Though the smile was nice to have on her features she slowly heard him telling her he would always be there, and had been there. Which that wasn't a lie. Devin was the one that she came to when she needed someone to talk to, or just hang out with when she felt lonely. But that didn't mean she wasn't starting to second guess him. She had started to second guess everyone. Even herself. And she had heard that was a bad habit but she forced the thoughts back as she looked down at her feet.
Could she trust him?
“Are you sure about that? Always...” She swallowed, looking away, her right arm un wrapping from his neck to wipe at her cheek. A tear had fell. “Always is a big word.” She half way smiled up at him as she re-wrapped her arm around his neck again and brought herself closer to him. But as she was about to tighten her grip and lay her head on his chest, she stopped herself and backed up to her original spot. That was a couple thing, and they were not a couple. They were far from it. |
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Post by DEVIN JAMES THATCHER on Dec 1, 2011 22:58:41 GMT -5
It most definitely was an understatement, and her words stung at his heart; Devin knew he deserved whatever the girl tossed at him though, for how awful he treated her not too long before. He crushed her heart and tossed it aside like it was nothing…Devin could not feel more awful than he did at that moment. I’m such a screw up. Although the noise of the room was rather loud and he was sure his breathed words were quiet, obviously Autumn was close enough to catch wind of it. He swallowed roughly as he looked down at her, his eyes looking rather sad even though a smile was evident on his features. It was hard not to smile around Autumn, even when his soul was being tormented. “I said, you’re way too good to me. I don’t deserve it.” He noted that she was twirling her hair, but decided not to mention it to her; after all, everyone had odd habits that displayed different emotions without outwardly displaying it with words or a facial expression. Devin wished that he could twirl his hair when he was nervous. Maybe it would have relieved the tension a lot quicker than merely shrugging off his problems and smiling all of the time. He did not know that Autumn was nervous however. He merely figured it was a simple habit that most girls seemed to pick up at some point in their lives. Whether they dropped it or not was up to who they were.
“You know what…I do look good,” Devin smirked, trying to push away the sadness that plagued his heart. It was best to joke around and force a smile than put others at unease with your own problems. That was the last thing he wanted tonight. He moved a hand to push her hair back, his eyes locking onto her face. “But only because I have you next to me. Otherwise I’d be some ugly hermit standing around looking awkward.” Devin chuckled a little, quickly removing his hand and regretting the motion. That was wrong; he told her they were going as friends, and that’s how it needed to be. There was no way he was going to hurt her again…not after the first time. Soon they were moving to the music, its rhythm soft and slow and rather lulling. It put his heart as ease, even if for only a moment. His mind eventually drifted off to the past, remembering everything from a few years ago up until the current moment. The girls he slept with, the girls he kissed, the flirtatious comments, the numbers, everything. The more he thought about it, the more his face became more sullen and lifeless; he truly was a player that did not deserve a good and steady girl like Autumn. She needed someone that was cleaner than he was. He felt disgusting and useless. At her inquiry about his reputation, he continued to frown. There was no sense in smiling now. Maybe hiding behind the smile this whole time was only hurting more than helping…at least for him. Sighing, he lowered his gaze as he gripped her waist. “Yes. I would. Without a moment’s hesitation.”
When Devin finally forced his gaze to meet hers, all he could see was sadness. Sheer sadness. He flinched slightly at the sight, but did not pull his eyes away from Autumn’s face. That would only make the situation more awkward and that was the last thing they needed right now. I should not have asked her to come with me. Way to dig the knife in further you heartless ass. It was a selfish act on Devin’s part, asking Autumn to the dance knowing full well what the consequences of said action would be. This was exactly what was going to happen, and somewhere inside the boy knew it to be so. Instantly he felt the guilt wash over him again, and it took everything he had to school his expression to neutral. Seeing her upset killed him inside. It tore up his heart. He did smile briefly, however, at the mention of dancing. Even though Autumn did not see herself as much of a dancer, he had to admit it was very smooth and effortless. Besides, if she did not step on his toes that was always a big plus. It could always be worse. “Yes. If you were messing up you would most certainly know. I would probably be making awkward faces like this…” In an effort to lighten the mood he closed one eye and gritted his teeth together to appear being in pain, partially winking before returning his expression to normal again. It felt nice to smile; however, that was not to last long.
As if he suddenly said something horribly wrong, Devin noted the tear falling down Autumn’s face. His insides lurched in pain at the sight of that tear, as though it inflicted pain just by sliding down her flawless cheek. Instantly the boy frowned, guilt eating away at his heart. I did this…I did this. She wiped her cheek quickly to be rid of it as soon as it appeared, but Devin noticed it. After she moved her hand back around his neck, he released her waist with his right hand brushed her cheek. Devin’s blue eyes bore into Autumn’s, trying to search for something that even he was not sure of finding. “Yeah, it is.” He whispered, his hand cupping the side of her face. Devin smiled weakly as his thumb ran over her cheek, his head leaning in towards hers. “And I mean it with everything I am.” As though his body willed it to be so, the blonde hovered over her lips for a minute, his mind racing. Thatcher, think about what you’re doing! You’re going to make things worse! Devin yelled at himself, trying to pull away. He couldn’t. Something urged him forward, preventing the thoughts from penetrating any further. “I will always be here Autumn. Always.” Against his better judgment and will, he placed a kiss on her lips. It was brief, but enough to send a shiver down his spine. It made him melt.
Instantly he pulled away, his thoughts now coming to the forefront of his mind. Reality crushed him like a ton of bricks as he stared down at her with fear in his eyes. He did what he was not supposed to do. He broke his own rule. He was going to hurt the one person in this world he wanted to protect. “I’m…I’m so sorry…I…” Shaking his head he pulled away from her and took off out of the mess hall, not looking back. It took all he had to keep from sobbing and crumbling to the ground, but if he stayed nothing good would come of it. I’m so sorry Autumn…
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Post by renn on Dec 2, 2011 17:41:39 GMT -5
Her eyes were shining slightly, just a tad though. She wasn't completely happy; she still had the heart break floating around inside her. It was bottling up and up until finally she would eventually break. But that wasn't the night to start thinking like that. And just when she was drifting off into her thoughts she was told by Devin that she was to good for him. Was he crazy? She was a no body, and he was the hot stud everyone wanted. “I'm...really not, and you do deserve it, don't think so low.” Her smile was half as she locked eyes with him as he did the same.
She swallowed as she saw his hand coming up out of the corner of her eye and brushing her hair back. His touch sent goosebumps along her arms but the sensation didn't last long because than he was pulling away. Why had he pulled away? She liked his touch. It was soft and gentle instead of hostile or demanding. And more importantly it wasn't a touch that told her he was just using her to get her in bed. Which, she wouldn't fall for that easily.
Finally as the moments ticked by the old Devin shined out. The I-look-good-no-matter-what-Devin, and not the I-don't-look-good-and-think-so-lowly-of-myself-Devin. She laughed and turned her head to look up at him, his eyes shining down at her, but than he stated that he would look like a hermit if she wasn't standing next to him. That was so untrue! She gasped sarcastically and nudged his arm. “That is so untrue, Devin Thatcher! And you are not a hermit, or neither would look like one!”
He would never look like a hermit, ever, no matter how many times he stated it. It would just be one of those things that would never happen in the world. Kind of like unicorns would be floating around, glitter fell as rain, and marshmallows would be used as fluffy, white clouds. And at the thought she smiled. It almost seemed like she was kid again when she spoke it like that. Except she wasn't a kid.
Once again she found herself being pulled out of her thoughts by him gripping her waist. She looked up to him to see his gaze sad, and his face lifeless. What had she done? She swallowed the lump in her throat as she saw no trace of a smile. But her head nodded slightly, her blonde hair bouncing calmly with the motion. “Good to know.” Was everything he telling her true? Or was he blowing smoke? She didn't know, and was actually afraid to know after all.
As they swayed to the music, her gaze stayed on him, smiling softly with every moment. The music was calm, and gentle, but that couldn't stop her thoughts from going hay wire except she pushed them back to the back of her mind. This was really not the time to actually get lost in her own thoughts only she almost had been all night. It was almost not fair to Devin for her to do that. But it didn't stop her most of the time.
Her gaze studied him as he exclaimed about her knowing if she messed up. And thank god she hadn't messed up yet. Yet was the word there though. Eventually something would happen and she would probably step on his foot or something. But than he started to make a face that included in him closing one eye, and gritting his teeth. It really did look like he was in pain, and she was sure that was the intention, and it made her laugh.
She continued to study him, and than as quickly as she had wiped the tear and re-wrapped her arm around his neck he had let go of her waist with his right hand and reached up to caress his thumb across her cheek. She leaned into his touch as he cupped the side of her face and dropped his face only inches from hers. Her breath was caught in her throat as he searched her eyes, and she searched his. What was she searching for? She wasn't quiet sure, and she was pretty sure he didn't know what he was searching for either.
A blush crept up on her cheeks as he told her he would always be here. And for someone had just had her heart broken by the male in front of her, she believed him. Believed him with every cell in her body. And it was odd. She thought she could never have this much trust in someones words before...And than what she had been wanting to happen all night happened. He dropped his lips to hers. His lips on hers made her insides melt. Finally she had something go the way she wanted it too. Slowly as she started to kiss him back he jerked away from her.
Her eyes opened slowly to see the fear in his eyes and she swallowed. What was so wrong with kissing her? But than the thoughts clicked. It was because he had wanted to come as friends and leave as friends. Well, that wasn't going to happen the way he wanted it to. Well, yes it would. They would still leave as friends, she would just feel worse than before. He broke my heart, kissed me.. And than before the thought was even finish he was stuttering out an apology and than pulling away from her to take off out of the mess hall, with out looking back.
Before she knew it, tears were already running down her cheeks. She sniffled, and started to run after him. And what was ironic is that her favorite song started to play; Face Down – Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. As she got to the door, she could run no further as the heels weren't allowing that much distance anyway. She sniffled again, wiping her cheeks with the palms of her hands as she watched him disappear. “Devin...Please...Don't go...” |
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