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Post by NELL DOE DALE on Nov 21, 2011 19:42:03 GMT -5
feel myself going slow * feel myself letting go , not taken, not feeling like i'm yours She wished she could get rid of this ill-feeling, if just for Josh’s sake. Nell was a terrible girlfriend, something she kept to herself while wondering if he ever realized it. Whether it was her depression or her honest-to-god belief didn’t make it any better. I’m not gonna make you happy, she couldn’t help but think when she smiled at him. Damn, she eneded to get herself together. ”I’ll try not to,” she relented, and she struggled back into a positive minset. She could flair bartend, surely a slow dance wasn’t too hard…? Nell was not an uncoordinated person, it was just her self-consciousness pulling at her. Just be happy, you meaniehead. She blinked at the uncommon nickname, and smiled again. She liked it. ”We’ll just see about that,” she replied, her demeanor airy and joking. Good for Josh, her heels weren’t too pointy. His feet would at least be somewhat spared. She glanced down at said heels for a moment, saying, ”Not yet.” Nell glanced back up and said, ”They’ll be off by the end of the night, though.” It would be disappointing, shrinking again, but she didn’t know if she could last very long. ”Usually I wear heels to work, though, so they don’t bother me too much. I like being about a foot taller than the bar.” The woes of being short, it seemed, and since information like that never came without quid pro quo, she jokingly asked, ”How about your shoes? About ready to kick them off?” Most forms of dress shoes were uncomfortable, she’d say, so she wouldn’t be surprised.
Nell tried to worm her way into the mindset that it didn’t care what other people thought of her dancing. After all, she never used to care what people even called her. She was a hard target for bullying, but that’s not even what she wondered about everyone else at the dance—they might know. It made her want to shrink away into non-existence. She didn’t want anyone whom she didn’t tell herself knowing about who she was or what she did. Because then—if they did insult her—they had ground, footing to make their comments hold true. Her defenses were cracked as it was, and she didn’t know how thick of a skin she had anymore. ”That helps,” she replied, her voice light like a sigh. She didn’t sound unhappy, or even look it, and she guessed she really wasn’t. Josh’s presence helped with that. It could feel all right when he was around, like the tiredness didn’t matter, or her apathy didn’t exist. She was glad having him around, even though she felt strangely disconnected from everything right now. Like she wasn’t a part of the world. It might have been because something had been taken from her at the trial, and even though Josh could understand this—him having been there—she left him in the dark. Better to let him believe that it was okay.
She gingerly rested her hand on Josh’s shoulder, not quite nervous anymore. It was nice using Josh as a sort of support, since she was feeling so lethargic. Smile still on her face, though, she was pretending exceptionally well. ”Of course,” she said languidly. ”I’m fine with that kind of dancing.” As she was not uncordinated and she had been to parties before, she wasn’t completely inept. I don’t feel like dancing too much tonight. I’m tired. Any fast songs might be too high-energy, but…she would make an effort for her boyfriend, at least. I need a soda or something, she thought. Even though she wasn’t too fond of eating anymore, she could still down drinks easily. Even with this thought, Nell understood that it wouldn’t work that well. She might get a momentary sugar rush, but that was it—momentary. ”I like to imagine what would happen if that music came on at Blackjack,” she said instead of letting her thoughts linger. ”In my head, it’s a dead ringer for Boombox’s music video.”
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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Nov 21, 2011 21:53:43 GMT -5
He didn't mind the fact that she was going to take off her shoes eventually, of course. As long as there wasn't any broken glass on the floor or things to slip in he supposed it would be a lot more comfortable than killing one's feet for the rest of the evening. He didn't know that she wore heels to work simply because of the bar height, having always just assumed that she wore them to look pretty or something. Girls did that, right? Painful feet for a fashion statement? Even though he himself dressed nice and designer, he always made sure that he was comfortable. Suits could be a little stuffy sometimes in a crowded room but they were a lot better than heels. As were dress shoes, so he merely shrugged. "I'm used to them." It was true that they weren't exactly as comfortable as his boots but he was used to dressing up and so they didn't really bother him at all. He supposed the same sort of apathy could be gained toward heels if you wore them enough. "Kick your own off whenever, though," he said. "I don't mind. Short girls are cute." His gray eyes danced with a playful light as he teased her, obviously going for an even further lightening of the mood. It was true, though, he did find her size kind of adorable at times. She was so short compared to him--most girls were, but Nell was even shorter than average, so it was amplified.
To hear her admit so easily and without the smallest hint of suspicion that she was fine with the sort of dancing that went on in Corrosion was a bit of a surprise to Joshua. He tried not to think too much on it because that was not exactly the place he wanted his mind to be going right now but he was getting flashbacks of all the girls he'd danced with in clubs like that, how close they would get and if Nell ever--Innocent thoughts, innocent thoughts! Holy shit, that had been a close call. He tried his best to act like his thoughts had not just dropped straight into the gutter at her words, chuckling. "Now that's something I've got experience in." He wasn't going to lie, after all. He'd had his number of "dance" partners. Really, with how drunk he'd gotten and how drunk they were sometimes it was less of a dance and more like foreplay with clothing still in place. The memories were attacking his thoughts again and he tried to focus on the conversation. What was she talking about? Music. Music, not dancing. Not that kind of dancing, anyway.
Yes, Boombox. He grinned a little, remembering their inside joke of having the song as their mutual ringtone. It was nice to have that tone just for her so that he knew when she was calling and could deduce that he should pick it up rather than just ignoring it. Not missing a beat, he sang, "Everything got outta control, the music was so entrancing, everyone got out on the floor, it was a bunch of old white people dancing." The grin on his face remained for a moment longer, relaxing with the joking mood and able to finally push the less flattering thoughts from his mind. This was about keeping Nell happy, after all, not about entertaining his thoughts. "I'd suggest you try it but they'd probably fire you, wouldn't they?" Josh chuckled at the thought. Blackjack were a lot more serious about their customers and the behaviour of their bartenders than Corrosion were. That was why he'd been glad that Nell had still been able to get a job at Blackjack despite that she was underaged and illegally living here. Not that they knew she'd been living here illegally, but still. "Hey, what do you know, you haven't managed to step on my foot yet," he teased. "I'd say that's an accomplishment."
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TAGGED Nell Doe Shepherd WORDS Didn't count. OUFIT Oh look, Shawn in a suit >.> NOTES None~ CREDIT Yours truly~
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Post by NELL DOE DALE on Nov 22, 2011 19:34:16 GMT -5
feel myself going slow * feel myself letting go , not taken, not feeling like i'm yours Nell nodded as her boyfriend explained that he didn’t much mind the shoes. She figured. Rich people and uncomfortable clothing… At his teasing, she blushed a little at the ‘cute’ comment, but was otherwise handling it well. ”First of all, short is an offensive word to my people, choose your words wisely,” she chastised, lightly poking Josh in the chest. ”Second of all, I mind.” Nell set her lips into a pout before saying, ”I think I’m developing a comlex.” This was all said in an airy fashion, but her words held truth. She didn’t really have to worry about her height before dating Josh, but over time she’d come to realize how much she had to look up at him. Well, at a lot of people. Most of the males, and some of the females, and now she was getting a little too conscious about it. She shrugged. ”I think I have some growing left in me.” She hoped the fates would be so kind. If not, well, she’d be content. ”How did you get to be so tall?” she asked in a light-hearted, accusatory tone. Josh was doing a magnificent job in buoying her mood. Parts of her usual self were shining through, she still felt the heaviness in her body.
Her mind working on puppies and rainbows, she didn’t see anything less-than-innocent about dancing. IF she went out with friends, she’d dance with them in any way she pleased, even if they were her guy friends. Of course, she’d be comletely unaware of what they would be thinking. Then again, she wasn’t so naïve that she didn’t get creeed out if she ever felt something funky going on with a dude’s jeans. ”Is it now?” she said quizzically, believing his thoughts to be in the same place as hers. ”We may have to test that out.” Except she was joking, because what she really wanted to do was test out a blanket and pillow. Josh couldn’t save her from the ennui, but she would let her smiling and carefree demeanor now keep him thinking that she wasn’t as weary as she felt. He doesn’t need to suffer anymore because of me. Half of her mind was satisfied with this, the other half snarked her for being so selfless.
She laughed a little when Josh started to sing. ”Ooh ooh ooh,” She couldn’t even finish before breaking into laughter, resting her forehead against his chest. For a moment, she recognized the pressure behind her eyes, as if they were forcing her to close them. After recovering from her chuckles, she looked back up at Josh—he’s…so…tall—and said, ”No, I don’t think it’d go over well with my boss. Unless he’s a fan of musical comedy trios.” She wouldn’t count on it. Nell would very much like to keep her job, so she’d refrain from messing with the stereo system. Then again, it might have been a good idea to try and look for a job that wouldn’t get her in trouble. But she was scared to even think about that. She was used to her job, she was good at it, and right now in this state of mind, she didn’t know what else she could do. She blinked when her boyfriend spoke again before her features relaxed into a smile. ”I’d say so,” she agreed softly. ”It’s not so bad.” She was more focused on Josh than her ancieties at this point. As long as she ket it up, she’d be okay. ”I was thinking I might try a tango. Or become Rockette.” She rolled her eyes as she kept up the joking. She was nowhere near Rockette level, but at least she was coordinated enough that she didn’t cause Josh physical pain.
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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Nov 22, 2011 21:57:57 GMT -5
Joshua couldn't help but chuckle as Nell's lips turned down into a bit of a pout, his gray eyes light. He didn't mean to offend his girlfriend in any way but her short stature really was adorable to him and he didn't mind it at all. Apparently Nell herself did. "A complex?" He knew what height complexes were, it just surprised him that she might have been developing one. He was so used to people being shorter than him that he sometimes forget what it was like to be on their end of the scale. In order to give her at least a little bit of hope he said, "Remember how short I looked in those photos?" He wondered if she knew what he was referring to. They'd flipped through the album together as they'd huddled in the elevator awaiting the mechanic and he had shown her but had she been focused enough to recall what was going on? Probably. His traumatic experiences hadn't really had any effect on his memory except to make him absolutely loathe certain things and certain people. Like gangs. "It wasn't just because my father's so damned tall -- I was shorter than most of the girls in my class for a few years." He smiled at her reassuringly. Despite how cute he found her height he really did hope that life cut her a break. If it was bothering her that much then it was going to be an issue, right? "So maybe there's hope for you, too. For now I'll just need to compromise." Smirking almost playfully he pecked her on the lips to show what he meant. Hell, as long as they could still have a relationship he didn't care how tall she was or wasn't. As long as she wasn't taller than him.
Test it out? He was so lucky that he could control his thought process. He'd had a lot of practice in battling down certain urges and so he tried to keep his mood and tone natural and light. "Maybe we should," he returned, though he was being much more serious that she was. Perhaps it was masochistic to agree to such torture but he wanted Nell to have fun and, sexy as it was, that kind of dancing could be fun. He just hoped that she didn't make a habit of dancing like that with other guys. He trusted Nell but he didn't trust them not to take advantage of her sweet and agreeable nature. He had seen what they were capable of doing on the dance floor. Hell, he had enough experience with that himself. He had never really been afraid to dance with a girl so long as she was single and showed her interest. Nell wasn't single, but, well, she also wasn't the most street-smart girl around. "We could grab drinks after this song and then you could show me all the awesome moves you've learned from the Corrosion dance floor." He grinned a little in amusement. What am I getting myself into? His morality and his trust in his own control were clashing heavily.
Once the song was over he pulled Nell a little closer to him in a gesture of affection before letting go and stepping back. "See? It's not too bad, huh?" He hoped that she was doing alright. She seemed to be doing fine and it would be a pretty damn good job of convincing him if she was not. Wanting a drink so that he could keep himself hydrated throughout the night, Joshua led the way over to the refreshment table and leaned against it as he grabbed a cup of something that looked like water. Spotting a couple of the people they knew nearby the graduate allowed a half-smile and a lazy wave. He was with Nell tonight and thus feeling surprisingly amiable. Not that he was a total ass to people he knew otherwise but he might not have said hello if he wasn't in the mood. He tended to put himself above other people. "If whatever you take is spiked I promise you won't wind up dead in a ditch," he teased Nell. Nah, the Water students (hopefully!) wouldn't go that far. Sometimes they'd mix it with alcohol or something like that but it was rarely anything dangerous. Then again, Waters weren't the only ones who pranked. He gave the water a suspicious sniff and then sipped it, shrugging. "Looks like water, tastes like water." Hopefully it was water.
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TAGGED Nell Doe Shepherd WORDS Didn't count. OUFIT Oh look, Shawn in a suit >.> NOTES None~ CREDIT Yours truly~
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Post by NELL DOE DALE on Nov 23, 2011 17:33:53 GMT -5
feel myself going slow * feel myself letting go , not taken, not feeling like i'm yours She sighed a bit, as if really struggling even though she was putting up airs. ”It’s not a crisis or anything,” she waved it off. ”It comes with dating you, I suppose.” She wasn’t blaming him for being tall or anything, because honestly, she didn’t mind his height. Besides, wasn’t that what girls liked? Tall boyfriends? It’d feel weird if she was dating someone shorter than her, anyway. …Mostly because she was so short herself, that anyone shorter would probably be a legal midget. Yes, Nell did remember the pictures he spoke of, especially because after the elevator fiasco she’d flipped through them a few times. Josh had given her permission, and she was always curious. Besides, she liked looking at family pictures and everything, even though it only increased the guilt she felt. ”You were what, ten?” She shook her head. ”I’m eighteen. I already hit my growth spurt…that wasn’t really a growth spurt.” Nell added on that part quickly, because honestly, she hadn’t shot up in height or anything. ”And I’m eighteen.” There was a time when she was centimeters taller than her sister, but now she realized she’d waded into the shallow end of the gene pool. Languidly, she said, ”I’ll deal. It’s not weighing too heavily on my mind.” No, it really wasn’t tops on her list of concerns.
Her thoughts were still strictly innocent as Josh spoke, even though she was hesitant. I’m feeling better now, she thought in order to soothe herself. She felt a lift, and that was probably due to going out with Josh. She would like to believe it was permanent, but knew that even tonight there would be moments when she just didn’t feel…right. She’d try though. Smiling brightly, she said, ”All right, then.” Of course, she was unaware of Josh’s thoughts, and male thoughts in general. She didn’t connect dancing with sex. She didn’t connect anything with sex ebcause she ahd no experience in it. All she knew was that she was chill with dancing, and if she could manage now, she’d try and manage for another dance or two. She wasn’t going to be a wallflower when she had a date. That would be inconsiderate to Josh. She nodded her ascent, and continued to joke. It came easier now. ”I can also show you my pop and locking. When you own a boombox, you need to learn the moves.” She was from New York, the origin of hip hop and breakdancing. Of course, she was as white as could be, and she was joking about any dance skills she may have. At least she was forcing herself to look forward to anything tonight, just so long as she could take her mind off of the bad things.
Nell smiled when she was pulled in, and said, ”Looks like I was wrong.” And she really was. Josh had managed to cheer her up, and she didn’t even realize that he was trying to. The girl was doing quite well in her oblivious bubble, feeling proud of how well she was covering up her depression. Depression. She didn’t like that world, the concept that she may be unhappy or suffering. It sounded bad, and she didn’t want badness in her life. Nell thought she was done with that. She could return to her life and stay with Josh and her friends and it’d be happily ever after, all white doves and butterflies. Unfortunately, she didn’t realize her negligence of food was a pretty big sign, because she also thought she was doing good at covering that up as well. ”Well, I was wondering if I have to worry about that tonight,” she joking. ”Don’t know much about prom, so I was considering the chance there may be a bunch of nicely dressed teenagers in ditches by morning.” The spiking part wasn’t something she really worried about. She was good with holding her liquor, especially when it was laced with something else. She took a water too and sniffed at it. The only thing that it could really be spiked with was vodka…which actually wasn’t good for her. She didn’t bother too long with it though before taking a small sip. She wasn’t very thirsty. ”I guess we’re safe then,” she said, trusting Josh’s judgment. ”Want anything to eat?”
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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Nov 23, 2011 19:39:26 GMT -5
Joshua grinned a little. "True. Most girls are shorter than I am." He sounded mildly proud of this fact. Even though he did have some sympathy for Nell in the height department that didn't mean he wasn't glad of his own advantages. He had hated being short with a passion, loathed the way that it had gotten him teased. Some of the guys had been so cruel as to say that he must have been born a girl because of his stature and the fact that he didn't get along with them. The girls had never really hung around him, either, but admittedly that had been just as much of his fault as theirs. They'd never approached him and he'd never approached them. Some of the girls were really mean, too, though. I'd like to see them now. If you've got it, flaunt it. He had the height difference now and it was in his favour. "So?" Josh shrugged at her mention of age. "Don't give up before you've given it a chance." It was almost funny that Nell had suggested it and yet it was Josh doing the encouraging. He normally wasn't the type of person that tried for boosting the morale of another but hey, this was Nell. He wanted her to feel good about herself, he wanted her to be an optimist, and he wanted her to get out of this funk. Sometimes it felt like he worried more about her than he did himself. This was surprising, as he wasn't an all-around selfless person like Nell was. Still, when you really cared for someone it could change your perspective on things.
He laughed easily when he was with Nell, their joking working together flawlessly to create a source of amusement. It was nice to have someone that fully understood his sense of humour (or at very least went along with it). He remembered the days when she'd been confused every time he'd said something that wasn't entirely serious and smiled a little fondly as he looked back on old memories. Damn, they'd had a weird year together. He couldn't really remember what he'd thought of Nell when he'd been pissed drunk outside that bar but he was sure he'd never have guessed where they'd be a year later. "If you pass out, I'll take care of you. No funny stuff." His gaze was light and his tone joking but he was also being slightly serious. If the water was drugged or spiked he certainly wasn't going to take advantage of the situation. He cared about Nell and he wasn't some asshole looking for an easy situation. If I cared about how easy she was I would not be here, he thought dryly to himself. That much was true. He'd never have seen himself as the type that would wait this long just to sleep with a girl. Then again, he'd never even considered a relationship with any sort of seriousness, let along one like this. One with Nell. "Yeah, I think we're chill," he agreed. "They don't usually touch the water." He supposed that they figured most people would go for the soda or the punch or something.
He glanced thoughtfully toward the snack bar. There was junk food like brownies and cupcakes and such but there were also sandwiches and the like, he supposed for people that got hungry and did not want to get fat because of it. He shrugged and took one, finishing it quickly and downing a second. "You should eat if you're hungry, too," he said casually, as if he was not hoping she would and instead merely pointing it out. "It'll all be gone by the end of the night. We both know how much you love food," he laughed. Trying to convince her that it was a normal thing for the pre-trial Nell to eat was a desperate attempt to trick her into things. An attempt that had a pretty good chance of failure but that he was trying anyway. That was really all he could do as of late. Forcing her to eat seemed too controlling. Should I point out that I've noticed, eventually, or just keep this up? He really didn't know what to do sometimes. It was such a helpless feeling to watch her go through this ordeal and not have a flying fuck about how to handle it. Once he'd downed the rest of the water and waited Nell to finish whatever she had as well, he gestured to the floor. "Shall we show off our moves, or...?" Josh grinned at her.
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TAGGED Nell Doe Shepherd WORDS Didn't count. OUFIT Oh look, Shawn in a suit >.> NOTES None~ CREDIT Yours truly~
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Post by NELL DOE DALE on Nov 23, 2011 23:57:26 GMT -5
feel myself going slow * feel myself letting go , not taken, not feeling like i'm yours Nell guessed she was lucky in the fact that she never experienced the bullying of classmates when she was younger. Okay, maybe that wouldn’t have been as bad as what she’d gotten. Her height wasn’t one of her mother’s targets, and she guessed it was because she stood at average height when she was younger. The pen marks on the wall showed as much. Then she sort of just stopped growing, but never really thought anything of it. She was perfectly content with her stature. Okay, sometimes when she couldn’t reach high shelves in the grocery store or the fact that she had to wear her heels to get good position over the bar. ”I’m glad you’re so confident in my biology,” she said with a smirk. She wondered if that was something she could take up with her father, if he could somehow determine whether or not she’d get taller. But you’re not talking to him, are you, because you’re pro at being a terrible daughter. Her self-deprecating thoughts hit hard now, so she tried not to focus on that. ”I’m not holding my breath,” she acknowledged lightly. She’d be sticking to heels, it seemed, not that she wore them a lot anyway. No matter what, they were tough on the feet. Callouses were not very nice, and neither were broken broken ankles. Nell would stick to wearing heels for work, dressing up, and whenever she needed the security blanket of height. It was definitely a confidence boost, she could agree with Josh in that.
She snorted lightly at Josh’s comment, and it was a genuine expression. She was just faking it to keep up appearances, she didn’t have to fake humor with her friends, especially not Josh. If it got really bad, maybe, but otherwise she could still laugh. She hadn’t become a completely comatose shell of herself, and she certainly hoped it’d never get that bad. Sometimes, she wished she could tell Josh about these concerns when the weight got too heavy, but that would mean making it worse for him, and she didn’t want that. ”Why thank you, you’re such a gentleman,” she said, placing a hand over her chest. Of course she trusted Josh if she picked up something spiked. It would be a pretty suckish relationship if she couldn’t. And her boyfriend would be a pretty creepy guy if he did take advantage of a situation like that. ”Let’s just hope this isn’t laced with acid or something,” she said half-jokingly, swirling the water around. What were the odds, really? Who would want to waste drugs on a prom? Someone who quite enjoyed making a mess of things, probably. Water students came to mind. For a moment, she was fond of the fact that she understood so much about the Academy and the students now. It felt like she had somewhere to belong—this place really was home. ”By they, I’m guessing the Water students. Or other rabble-rousers,” she said lightly, voicing her thoughts. It was nice to be familiar with some things like that.
Inwardly, Nell stiffened at the mention of food, her stomach instantly rejecting even the thought of anything entering it. ”I will,” she said languidly, as if this wasn’t bothering her and she was perfectly all right with food. Nell was almost guilty when he spoke of her love for food, like she was doing something wrong in not eating. And she would have normally replied something like, “That will be my fault,” if she could back the claim up. She wasn’t purposely not eating. Okay, she was, but it wasn’t her fault that her stomach hurt constantly for a reason she didn’t understand and the only way she’s found to make it feel better was sleeping. Guilt firmly established, she grabbed a cookie—showing no reluctance in doing so, even though she felt it—and slowly ate it, willing her stomach to cooperate so she didn’t feel too ill. It scared her when she thought of Tilly and how she stopped eating and slowly wasted away, but that wasn’t enough anymore. When she felt physically sick to her stomach, the childhood trauma could only do so much. ”Let us,” Nell said when she finished off the one cookie. In the spirit of pretending, he pulled on his hand and took Josh back out onto the dancefloor, keeping a smile on her face. One could not bump and grind with a frown. And she didn’t understand why everyone was happy with that kind of dancing, or what she might be doing to Josh with her spectacular moves. She was making a pretty goddamn good attempt at being happy. ”I apologize if I do end up stepping on your feet,” she said with a half-smile as she pressed against her boyfriend. ”But I’m pretty convinced in my skills now.”
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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Nov 24, 2011 6:12:50 GMT -5
Seamlessly, though with his gray eyes twinkling to betray his amusement, Joshua replied, "Well, duh. I mean, I am a Biology major, after all." He was only gently teasing, of course. He actually wasn't sure if he could predict anything about height. It certainly wasn't anything he'd studied in-depth. I wonder if there's books on that? His curiosity prickled at him and instilled the urge to head off to the library and look it up. He was in the middle of a dance with his girlfriend, he wasn't about to go on a random quest for information. He did store the thought in his mind for later analysis, however. It was an interesting idea. "Yeah, don't," he said seriously. "Then you'll die and you definitely won't get taller." Jesus, it was so easy to joke around when he was with Nell. It was like she nursed his sense of humour to its full potential. Oh, he certainly came up with this sort of joke when he was around someone he was not as close to but he usually didn't share it. There was something about being around the comfort and familiarity of a friend that relaxed the usually stoic Fire graduate. It felt like he didn't have to be so serious and uptight all of the time. It was really a defence mechanism that caused him to be so standoffish a majority of the time. If you appeared to be someone that was not pleasant or fun to be around then people would bother you a lot less. They wouldn't try to get close. He has easing up a bit after almost five years but it was a gradual process.
Joshua mocked a bow when Nell called him a gentleman, grinning as he straightened back up again. In reality he was glad to have her trust even if they were just joking around about it. The fact that Josh had a record of one-night stands had led to some pretty nasty rumours spread by ever nastier people that he had a habit of trying to seduce or take advantage of people. On top of various rumours about STD's, pregnancies and the like, it had not been welcome news to reach his ears. He tried his best to shrug off most rumours and view them with a light heart but it was not easy when you were the unfortunate subject. At least they're dying down. This was true. Over the last year since he'd gotten a girlfriend and settled down, people were losing interests. There wasn't any truth to base their faux-facts in now so he was getting a little less heat. Everything faded with time. "Acid?" he chuckled. "I imagine that would hurt." Joshua knew that she was talking about the drug (or assumed, anyway) but he couldn't help making a joke out of it again. He was joking a lot tonight, he noticed. Maybe it was for Nell's sakes. Maybe he just liked the way she smiled or she laughed. She deserves to be happy. He wanted to be able to make her happy. He wanted her to be able to embrace the freedom the trial's outcome had given her. "The very element of which I speak," he confirmed dramatically. "They're not so bad, actually," Joshua frowned, considering it fairly. "I used to hate the whole lot -- it's practically code in my element, but they're not too terrible once you get to know them." Some of their pranks got a little out of control but most were harmless.
He was relieved to see Nell eat something, even if it was just a single cookie. He lingered for a moment to see if she would eat anything else but decided not to push his luck when she didn't reach for a second or third. It's something. That was all he had to keep telling himself. He didn't want to endanger his relationship with Nell by being too pushy and so he'd take what he could get for the moment. She ate far too much usually and now she was eating far less than she should have been. If I can at least stop her from completely starving herself, it's a start. He wasn't a god, he couldn't make a miracle and magic depression away. But he could try and support her. He followed Nell to the floor and all thoughts of the cookies were gone a moment later. What am I getting myself into again? he asked himself for what felt like the millionth time. "Your mad skills are undoubted," he assured her. To have Nell that close when she pressed up against him was practically a low level of torture but he had thankfully gotten good at controlling himself as he'd been with her for so long. He diverted his thoughts elsewhere if he was worried about things getting out of hand and generally allowed himself to relax as they danced together. This is okay. I can do this. He was pretty good at this sort of dancing and at least Nell could match with her own experience this time around. It was nice not having to explain anything and just let loose.
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TAGGED Nell Doe Shepherd WORDS Didn't count. OUFIT Oh look, Shawn in a suit >.> NOTES Haha oh poor Josh. He's all 'think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts' and Nell is just totally oblivious. You can have them move on to a new topic of conversation or something in the next post, or we could time skip and have them go back to her apartment. LOL that sounds like the lead in to sexytimes. Doesn't Josh wish? HA Excuse my brain, it's 6AM... CREDIT Yours truly~
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Post by NELL DOE DALE on Nov 24, 2011 23:54:19 GMT -5
feel myself going slow * feel myself letting go , not taken, not feeling like i'm yours Nell tilted her head and gave him an incredulous look that was still humorous. ”Thank you for the advice, I’ll make sure to heed it.” She took an exaggerated breath as if to back this up, enjoying this lapse back into normality. Now she wasn’t even faking it—sometimes, like with Josh, it was easier to laugh and not to feel the way she usually did. Whenever she sat alone, or was not around anyone else, her thoughts claimed her. Not only that, but she felt very alone. She hated that feeling, tried to surround herself with people in order to avoid it. Nell tapped her fingernails against the water bottle and said, ”If that happened, I should think whoever did it would have a lawsuit on their hands.” It was small moments like this that she was glad for, that she could joke around with her boyfriend and not have to worry about anything else. Now the dance had become like a separate world, and she had committed herself to enjoy it. Her smile was warm when she heard Josh talk about the Water students. ”They’re great,” she said, though she had to say she was rather biased. They were her allies, and she had quite a few friends from that element. They were a part of her family. ”I’m glad you finally…warmed up to them.” She couldn’t help the pun on his element, even though she was being honest. Iit would be hard to harbor ill-will toward people you were stuck with.Well, maybe not hard, but it would be inconvenient.
It was almost strange, dancing with her usually stoic boyriend like this. Well, he wasn’t always stoic, and she knew that. But she didn’t think many others did. Funny how a dance and music could change everyone for just a night. She definitely liked the atmosphere, but even more so she enjoyed the music. For a moment, the idea of becoming a musician—like her aunt, like her great aunt, like her Grandmother Sinclair—made her wonder what she even wanted to do with all this time she had, the future she could claim as hers. I don’t want to be like them, she thought. She didn’t even know what she wanted to be like. Instead of those musings, she focused on dancing with Josh. ”I hope you’re not too jealous or anything,” she joked when it came to her ‘mad skills’. ”You know I would teach you, but I’d have to charge.” She grinned as she stated the song lyrics, defintiely feeling a lot better than she had when she first came to the dance grudgingly. She didn’t feel pretty or, or too excited, but she felt like she could make it through the night without going to the bathroom and not coming out until it was time to leave. When first arriving, she had planned on it.
Even though she had a nice night, she was glad to finally get home. She had tried her best not to fall asleep in the car, even though it would have been very easy to. Nell didn’t get car sick, and wondered exactly what that meant, so she just leaned against the window while resisting the tempting unconsciousness. However, this was just general fatigue created by her depression—this was the result of a long night. ”Thanks for taking me out tonight,” she told Josh back in the apartment. She cupped his cheek with her hand and kissed him to show her appreciation for urging her to go to the dance. If Josh hadn’t spurred her into action, she’d have long since been asleep right now. And even though she went reluctantly, she really did have fun. ”I needed it.”However, now she was back in her apartment and in the reality of her life and even though a big part of her felt content, there was another part of her that was weighed down. It was like elation and devastation were battling it out in her body. ”But I think it’s time for bed now,” she said honestly. And of course, she would be sleeping in until she worked up the energy tomorrow to go to work and live life as she always did. It was getting harder, but she’d manage it. She always did.
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