BEAUTIFUL & MINE , (tagged: nell!)

[JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE]

With prom coming up, Joshua was facing a small but personal dilemma--what was he going to do about it? He'd waited for a week for the aftermath of the trial to settle in so that Nell could have time, so that her thoughts could return to normal and realise that she had a dance and a school and a boyfriend that she could take to that dance at school if she so wished. He was not what you could call excited about prom, more like accepting of it. He'd been every year but his ninth and if Nell was going this would be his last time. It would be special because it would be with someone that he really loved, that he could dance with (yes, he actually did know how!) and not be thinking about when the event would end so he could go home and sleep. Or drink. Or drink until he passed out and slept involuntarily.

His first year in the tenth grade he'd went with an older girl called Violet. Despite her misleadingly sweet name she'd been a tempered bitch from the Fire element who had broken up with her boyfriend just days before the dance and had needed a quick rebound date. Her demanding inquiry had taken him aback and he'd agreed almost on impulse. They'd gotten so drunk after the prom that he couldn't remember what had come of it. He'd probably slept with her as they'd woken up in the same room, in the same bed, but apart from that he had no clue. Eleventh grade had been a little better. He'd done the asking this time, a Wind elemental "just as friends". She'd been a friend of his that was shy and a little socially inept as he was, though hers was due to social stagefright rather than a general cynicism and distrust toward others. In twelfth grade he'd been expected to go, being that he was the Fire leader and needed to keep up appearances. He and his female counterpart had decided to show up together to make an impression. There had been drunken make-outs and casual flirting at the after-party but they'd gone home separately without much drama coming from it.

Freshman year had been another spur of the moment thing. He'd been invited by a Fire girl he knew casually from study sessions and had agreed to go. She'd apparently had feelings for him that he had not realised (she'd never shown them before that night, he was not an oblivious person) and things had turned awkward near the end. They didn't talk any more. And now... Now there's Nell. Okay, fine. This was not for him at all. It was for her. She might not have felt like going now, but it was senior prom for her. Joshua was no longer in high school and she'd be in college too next year. Unless they broke up--he did not even like to think in that direction--in later years and she dated a younger guy or went with a friend, this would be the last chance she got. The only chance she'd ever had, considering her life had not included a possibility for junior prom this time last year. He didn't want her to lament the lost experience if--no, when she recovered from this slump. She'll recover. She's got to. I'll help her.

His first 'helping hand' would be convincing her to go to prom. He lounged around and waited for her to come back from wherever she'd been and then gave her a small smile. "Hey, Nell." He always got a strange feeling in his chest when he saw her now. He was realising, however slowly, that she was his now. Jail wasn't going to come between that. It was a little frustrating that he had to wait until she recovered or whatever it was she was doing but he would wait. Relationships required mutual compromise rather than constant selfishness. He stood up and kissed her as he would have any other time she'd come home, wanting things to be as normal as they could. She still acted like herself but she was not herself. It was perhaps a mark of their closeness that he could just tell. "How was your day?" he asked casually, sitting down on the couch. "You hungry? I was going to make something for myself but I decided to wait 'till you got back in case you had a long day or something." Plus he wanted to make sure she was eating but that was something he did not say aloud. "I heard a couple people talking about prom today," he said as if this had not been planned at all. "Are we going?" We. Because this was about them now, not Josh and his pessimism or Nell and her impending trial.

_____

TAGGED Nell Doe Shepherd
WORDS Didn't count.
OUFIT Oh look, Shawn in a suit >.>
NOTES Finally added tags. I love how I could be lazy and just link to a picture of Shawn in a suit.
CREDIT Yours truly~

[NELL DOE DALE]

feel myself going slow

* feel myself letting go ,

not taken, not feeling like i'm yours

It was strange trying to assimilate back into her life now as if nothing had happened. Having coffee with friends and telling them how her vacation had been fantastic, while hiding the truth behind a well-developed façade. She watched the girl’s face across from her—she was a Water elemental Nell had met at the beginning of the year—as she talked about what happened over the last few weeks the Earth girl had missed, how she’d finally broken up with her douche bag boyfriend and how her older brother had gotten a job. Nell laughed and talked and joked and it was all the familiar motions that didn’t feel the same. ”So you going to prom, Nell?” This caught said girl off-guard. She’d forgotten about prom, because it really had been far from her mind. She’d never been to a dance before, so she didn’t really know what to make of it, but she knew it was something she would enjoy. ”Oh jeez, I totally forgot,” she said, blinking as she took it in.

The Water elemental thought it funny and laughed. ”So I guess that’s a no.” Nell had a few dresses that she’d gotten in her bitter spending sprees with her father’s money, but didn’t really know appropriate attire for prom. ”I guess so,” she said, nonchalantly shrugging as she took a sip of her coffee. Right now, she didn’t think she’d be missing out on much. She could hang out with friends at other times, though. Then she wondered if it was the kind of thing Josh would be interested in. He wasn’t very social, but she didn’t know every little thing about him. For instance, why he was sticking around when she felt like a crap person. Or rather…weird. She didn’t know how she felt, but the main words that came to mind were ‘tired’ and ‘sad’. Most of all, she had an ‘I’m a terrible person and should be in jail’ feeling. Was it at all possible to return to normal after all this?

Speaking of her boyfriend, he was at the apartment when she returned, having parted ways with the other girl. ”Sup,” she replied cheerfully. There was no way Josh could tell there was anything wrong, right? Even though her habits had changed, he couldn’t know her that well? She didn’t know what to make of it, so she mainly just thought about his lips on hers. She returned the kiss gently, because everything was gentle now, as if she were trying not to disturb the world. Nell was slowing down, stopping and thinking about things a lot more than she used to. It was a dangerous thing, really. ”It was nice,” she replied, throwing her keys on the table and kneeling down to pet Pablo who’d just emerged from the kitchen. ”I was just catching up with a friend.” It was not necessarily something she’d tell anyone else, but this was Josh, and he understood why she was catching up. At least she was making an effort to talk to friends, because they were still the most important things to her. As she stood back up, she waved her hand dismissively. ”Go ahead and make yourself something. I’m not that hungry.” It was strange, how true these words were nowadays. She rarely was hungry anymore.

Josh brought up the prom, and she shrugged. It was amazing, how uninterested she felt in a dance she’d usually find amazing and be excited for. It would be something new to her, and she liked that, experiencing things she’d missed out on because of her childhood. “If you want to, I’ll go with you,” she said. Nell wasn’t about to refuse him a date if he planned on going just because she wasn’t feeling up to it. “But I wasn’t planning on it.” What was she planning on? Sleep, maybe playing some solitaire. Sleeping was tops on the list of what she wanted to do nowadays. She didn’t even know if she had the energy to go to prom, feeling as exhausted as she was.

outfit,

[JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE]

Admittedly Josh was a little relieved to hear the cheerfulness in her tone. The strange and subtle hints to the way she'd been acting lately had been worrying him; Nell hadn't quite seemed herself. There was no wondering why, of course. When you had to go through an ordeal like a murder trial for killing your own mother and had to recount some of the abuse for all ears to hear. He still had not brought up anything to do with the stories she'd told but he was definitely a lot more conscious of not doing anything that might bring back memories. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her off. He was testing the waters around her lately. "Nothing much," he said with that same cheeriness as he replied to her. "Just went out for coffee." It had been there that he'd overheard a couple of girls talking about their dates and their dresses and thought of Nell almost immediately. It was strange how she'd slowly melded her way into his thought process to the point where she came to mind almost automatically on certain things. Whenever he heard something about a buffet or feast he would chuckle a little under his breath.

It was nice to hear that she'd done well on catching up with her friends. As an overprotective guy by nature he definitely felt a sort of underlying anger every time he heard stories of people judging her because of the trial. He'd gotten into an argument with some drunk at Corrosion the other night for trash talking her and they'd both been thrown out of the bar. It was a good thing Joshua had been restrained before he'd gotten a chance to throw a punch or his sobriety would have shone through in how accurate it was. If he saw that asshole again he was going to have a little chat. "That's great," he said earnestly, smiling. He liked to see things go well for her even if he was still fretting over how he couldn't have what he wanted simultaneously. Compromise, he reminded himself cautiously. He wondered if they'd discussed the trial but decided to save Nell having to answer that question just in case and held his tongue.

However, his good spirits sank a little when she declined the offer of food. If you knew Nell you were bound to realise how much she loved food. He didn't want to give away his disappointment and thus just nodded as if this was a completely normal answer. "Alright," he said. "I'll make a little extra for later, though." He was trying to play his cards subtly so that Nell didn't realise what it was that he was doing. If he just made food perhaps she would change her mind and realise that she should eat. He could have been snarky and reminded her of how she used to bother him about how much he skipped out on eating before but he was not like that with people he loved. With how much of a jerk he was to strangers a lot of the time it was almost as if he was storing up his limited capacity for kindness and compassion and then showering it on the people he really did give a shit about. Like Nell, for example. "That can wait, though," he decided. "I just got back recently myself so I'm going to rest a bit."

In reality he just wanted to discuss prom and didn't want to wait a couple hours to do so. Nell had seemed to like sleeping and staying inside a little more than usual. It had been a small thing that he'd picked up on. I really know her well. He didn't know what to think of how accustomed they'd gotten to one another by now. "You weren't?" Joshua pretended to sound surprised past the worry that was starting to flood through him. He didn't know how to deal with Nell like this. It was like not much had changed and yet everything was different at the same time. It was making his head spin a little trying to focus on what she was doing. "Nell, this is our only chance to go together," he pointed out, wanting to see if reason could convince her a little better. "You're going to college next year and I lost my free pass a couple years ago." Oh, it was easy to be a junior or senior if you were excited for prom. As long as you found a date you were in the clear. College elementals couldn't go at all. "Besides, don't you want the experience?" He knew what he was talking about, after all.

_____

TAGGED Nell Doe Shepherd
WORDS Didn't count.
OUFIT Oh look, Shawn in a suit >.>
NOTES Finally added tags. I love how I could be lazy and just link to a picture of Shawn in a suit.
CREDIT Yours truly~

[NELL DOE DALE]

feel myself going slow

* feel myself letting go ,

not taken, not feeling like i'm yours

She chuckled a bit. ”You too, huh?” Her demeanor had all the signs of being her usually carefree self, but she still didn’t get that Josh was nervous. Nell didn’t doubt their closeness—she loved him, but it never crossed her mind that he could pick up even the subtlest things about her. It was strange to consider. She’d never had anyone who knew her like that, she’d never had anyone she was close to. Even though they weren’t that close. Any thoughts of intimacy made her nervous and gave her a fluttery feeling in her stomach, so she’d rather not think on that. She was in many ways oblivious to everything Josh was going through. ”Yeah, it was nice seeing her again,” she said off-handedly when Josh expressed his enthusiasm. It was strange falling back into her usual ruts, almost unnatural. It had been so weird talking to her friend, who had no idea of the trial and no clue about what had happened with Nell. Somehow, being a fugitive didn’t feel half as weird. Maybe it was because she was paying attention to herself now, and that introspection caused quite a few moments of sadness. ”It would be nice if it were still the school year. That way it’s easier to see everyone.” Then again, quite a few of her classmates weren’t even going to college. For her, it was probably the only normal progression in her life. ”Have you been keeping in touch?” Being out of the Academy for winter break could create distance between friends who you’d otherwise chat with everyday at school.

Nell really didn’t pick up what Josh subtly implied, that he was actually trying to get her to eat. Which was probably for the best. She didn’t want to be forced into anything, and if he’d given any inclination that he was worried about her diet, she’d shy away and use the ever-so convincing ‘fine’ argument. ”I might get hungry later,” she said with a wan smile. She wasn’t going to promise anything, because she didn’t feel she needed to. Nell wasn’t aware that her boyfriend had picked up on the changes she’d went through since the trial, changes that no one else would be able to put her finger on. Unless other people knew her usual schedule—which would be undoubtedly creepy—she didn’t think that anyone around her would be able to identify there was anything wrong. And unlike before, she was willing to admit that there was something wrong, even though she didn’t know what to do about it really. ”When’s the last time you’ve eaten?” Nell asked, more conversationally than eating. She guessed she still cared about food no matter what. He mentioned that he could do with a little rest and she nodded. ”Sounds like a good idea,” she said lightly, as if there really wasn’t anything odd going on about the fact that she wanted to sleep. ”I was planning on getting to bed early tonight.” Every night was an early night, and every morning she slept in.

Nell shook her head. ”No, I sort of…forgot.” It had taken her friend to remind her, because her mind had been in other places. She blinked at him before glancing down in consideration. She could have stuff to look back on now. There didn’t have to be any more freezing of her past. Josh was right, she was going to college soon. But she didn’t know if she actually wanted to right now. She was still stuck on living in the present, and in the present she wanted to curl up under her sheets, not get dressed up and go to a dance. Even though she did like to see her friends, she just didn’t know if she could muster up the energy. ”I guess,” she said noncomitally, biting her lip. She didn’t know if she really wanted to go now, but Josh spoke the truth and she may end up appreciating it later on. ”I don’t think I have a dress or anything,” Nell said as a last-ditch effort to try and worm her way out of it without complaining. She may have had something—her spending sprees were like intoxicated nighttime escapades for her now—but she didn’t want to admit that. Besides, she could just go out and by one, but hopefully Josh’s masculinity would make him oblivious to things pertaining to dresses. "So if I don't end up going, I won't mind too much."

outfit,

[JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE]

He added his laughter to hers, nodding. Tim Hortons was a frequent haunt of a lot of people and thus it didn't really surprise him that they'd both ended up there today. Maybe they'd even just missed one another, or perhaps they had been to different locations. Even in Maple Hollow there were locations everywhere for the popular coffee and donut chain. "You know me," he said. "Any sign of sugar and I'm there." He usually got a coffee or a tea as well as something sweet to satisfy his love of sugar whilst he was at it. He sometimes missed his large candy stash but it was probably better for his health that he didn't have as much access to it as he once had. He was learning to live without and thus cutting back was just a part of the experience. He was living without a lot of things in staying with Nell, really. "There's more to do, as well," he agreed on the subject of school. He liked when classes were in session because he could turn to studying when he needed something to do with himself. Not that it being a break stopped him. He read plenty on his own time, it was just nice to have goals to set. "As much as I can." The first half of break had mostly been spent worrying about the trial and then going to the trial itself so his time with friends had been limited. He did make an effort to maintain contact, though.

There was a doubt instilled in him but he said nothing more on the subject of food. Just as Nell didn't want to be pressured, Josh didn't want to pressure her. He was going to make sure in his underhanded ways that she got enough to eat and that she didn't sleep in past anything important but apart from that all the Fire graduate felt he could do was be there for her. He'd fed Nell an excuse about why he was choosing to stay with her rather than go back to his parents'--he'd told her things were too tense and that he needed some time to think about what he wanted to do. True as this was, it was not his main reason for staying. He wanted to keep an eye on her. He was not controlling but he also would not be content to sit back and watch Nell suffer. The suffering was subtle but it was there. I wish there was more I could do. "Earlier today," he said. "I made breakfast, read for a bit and then went for coffee." A bit was actually the entire day, seeing as he had skipped lunch in favour of the material that had consumed him. He had gotten so involved in it that he'd lost track of time. Of course. "Oh?" He hadn't been planning to sleep but apparently Nell had other ideas. "Why's that? Long day or something?" Playing dumb was essentially lying to her but honesty in this case might offend the girl.

Normally he would have been shocked at someone forgetting prom but given what the couple had been through that December it was not surprising. He gave her a bit of a knowing smile but did not respond. The way in which she spoke was disheartening--she did not sound as excited about it as she should have and that was depressing. He hoped that if she did end up going she would not spend the whole night regretting it in her own head. If you went to a place thinking you were going to have a bad time it took a lot out of the experience. Hopefully she'd enjoy herself, if only just the one night. You'll thank me later, I hope. Later, when things had gotten better. When would that be? He wasn't sure but he was praying it wasn't very long. He didn't know if he could wait another six or seven months for her to recover. He'd proven to be more resilient than he'd expected with this 'understanding' thing but he was not perfect. "Buy one," Josh suggested with a shrug. He was not an idiot, unfortunately for Nell. His riches and his lack of thriftiness shone through in moments like this. "You don't have too much time left but that doesn't matter. You look good in anything." That was true, at least in his opinion. The dress was really her only excuse? It wasn't a very valid one. "You might later," he said. "We both would."

_____

TAGGED Nell Doe Shepherd
WORDS Didn't count.
OUFIT Oh look, Shawn in a suit >.>
NOTES Finally added tags. I love how I could be lazy and just link to a picture of Shawn in a suit.
CREDIT Yours truly~

[NELL DOE DALE]

feel myself going slow

* feel myself letting go ,

not taken, not feeling like i'm yours

Nell kept smiling, even though it didn’t really feel right. Unnatural and in disjunction with what she was feeling. It almost felt like she was sick, and she was—she just didn’t want to call it that. ”Yeah,” she agreed with Josh. She really wasn’t as exciteable as usual, when she’d go into a ramble about how much she missed everyone and how she couldn’t wait to go to college and all that good stuff. There was no other way to describe it than tiredness. She’d gotten good sleep last night, of course, but it seemed the tiredness had seeped into her bones. Nell didn’t tell her boyfriend this, though. She still abstained from complaining, no matter what. And she didn’t want anyone in her life to think there was something wrong. She liked being viewed as someone her friends could come to for help, and if they knew that she was dealing with her own issues? Well, she wouldn’t be that good of a friend to have. It would make her existence pointless, and she’d like to avoid that, thank you very much.

She didn’t feel justified in telling him that he should eat have eaten something in between. Hypocrite. ”Ah,” she said when he told her, not going into how he should have grabbed something for lunch. Nell didn’t know if she’d eaten today, which would have been concerning to her if she was thinking about it. Sleeping was starting to replace meals, and it was like she’d turned into a bear, hibernating for the winter. She liked thinking of it like that, instead of the actual fact that there was something wrong with her and that this wasn’t natural, what she was feeling. Of course, she thought she was doing a pretty good job at hiding it and pretending that she was happy, so much so that she believed that Josh couldn’t tell there was anything up. And she liked it that way. ”Yeah, I suppose,” she said softly when he questioned whether it had been a long day or not. It really wasn’t, she’d done nothing too strenuous or taxing, but again, she didn’t say anything.

She felt bad for not being as excited as she should be about this. It’s prom, not a root canal, she chastised herself. Why couldn’t she just be happy about it? Nell couldn’t change the way she felt, no matter how nice that would have been. She almost wanted to argue childishly—“But I don’t wanna”—but held her tongue. She also didn’t want to lie or complain by saying that she wouldn’t know what to get or anything like that. Even in her current state, Josh still managed to make her blush with his statement. Nell hated that he was right and that she could just go out and by a dress, but she didn’t feel like it. Not liking to whine, though, she kept it to herself. ”I guess so.” Just suck it up and go. And she would, like she did most of the time nowadays. She was pro at sucking it up and pretending and she could do so at the prom. She would like to see her friends, after all, and no matter what she’d always be interested in talking to them. ”I’ll go,” she said, though it sounded more like an appeasing statement than anything, even though her lips were in a smile. ”It could be fun.”

outfit,

[JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE]

For many, prom night was filled with mixed emotions of nervousness and excitement. For Joshua, who had been several times before this, it was simply another year of going through the motions. He was approaching it with a little more serious attitude this time around seeing as it was Nell's first experience and he was determined to make it count. She'd never been to one of the Academy dances before and if they stayed together she was not going to get the chance again. I just wish it could have been under other circumstances. If the trial had been a few months back or even a few months later they might have been able to go through this night with smooth sailing. That was how he wanted it to go but he knew that her mood lately was going to have an affect. She doesn't realise I know, I don't think. She certainly hadn't said anything to him about her mood. It had been Josh who'd picked up on her lack of usual rambling enthusiasms and the way she slept a lot more and ate a lot less. The things he was so accustomed to were shifting and it was going to take some time to adapt. He would adapt, of course, for her sake. It just wasn't going to be an instantaneous thing.

As they would both be getting ready in the same space of time and he didn't want them tripping over each other in her bathroom he had decided to head 'home' for the preparation. It was still weird to turn up at the mansion he'd been so determined to avoid for the past several months, to nod a greeting to their butler and bend down to pet one of the cats that strolled out into the foyer to meet him. "Joshua?" he heard his father call from the dining room. "It's me," he confirmed, and there was no further conversation. Things were still not right with him. He hugged his little sister and mother before heading up to his room, feeling like a stranger as he pushed open the door and went inside. The room was quite literally the way he'd left it, save for that things had been tidied up a little and there was a (brand new, designer) suit lying at the end of his bed. He'd had it sent to his parents' and asked his mother to answer the door when it rang. He did not know what Nell planned to do for her dress ("Surprise me. Like I said, you'll look great no matter what.") but he was definitely going for the 'dress to impress' approach. It had been drilled into him over the years, no use to drop it when prom rolled around.

After grabbing a shower and going through the usual processes of personal hygiene, Joshua turned his attention to the outfit. Dressing up was not something he was unaccustomed to. He used the full-length mirror that rested by the dresser to look over and adjust his appearance as necessary. He made one last adjustment to the blazer before deciding that he was satisfied and glancing at his watch. Almost time to pick up Nell. Despite the fact that she was still hurt that Joshua was not coming home immediately Annabel had been pretty excited to hear that her big brother and his girlfriend were going to a dance together. She liked to tease him about it and Josh merely responded with a patient smile and the occasional words. At least he didn't have to worry about borrowing a friend's car to pick her up or anything--heck, his Lamborghini made for nice transportation. Most of the common stresses that people worried about had been addressed in the past for Josh. He knew how to dance, he had gotten dressed up, he had a date, he wasn't shy, he knew his feelings for her. It was the main reason he wasn't worried much at all.

What he was concerned about was Nell. I hope she at least tries to enjoy herself. He bade a quick goodbye to his family, not meeting eyes with his father, and then went out to his car. He texted Nell when he was in the parking lot to alert her to the fact that he was there, not wanting to waste breath by going all the way up to her apartment (via the stairs, which could be exhausting) and all the way down again right away. The Fire graduate had no idea what sort of style she'd went for and he had to admit a little anticipation as he waited for her. He stood by his insistence that she looked hot in anything, of course, but there was always that air of seeing something new that was cause for excitement. Even if the compliments he'd give her were going to fluster her. Heck, she was cute when she blushed, it was worth it.

_____

TAGGED Nell Doe Shepherd
WORDS Didn't count.
OUFIT Oh look, Shawn in a suit >.>
NOTES Bleh. It works.
CREDIT Yours truly~

[NELL DOE DALE]

feel myself going slow

* feel myself letting go ,

not taken, not feeling like i'm yours

Nell couldn’t say she was looking forward to prom. Honestly, she didn’t know how she felt about it right now. However, she tried to force herself to look forward to it and feel better about it. There’ll be food, right? Though she hated to think about it, she realized not even that really did it for her. She always felt sick to her stomach, and so instead of eating, she chose to sleep mealtimes away. Nell felt that she already had enough on her mind other than the fact that food was no longer appetizing, and now she had prom to deal with. You’re not dealing with it, she scolded herself as she pulled on the dress. It’ll be fun. She didn’t really have a dress in mind when she’d gone shopping. Anything in mind about the dance, really. She just knew that she liked blue, and she’d found a blue dress, and settled on that. She knew a lot of girls tried on fifteen different dresses before they settled on one, and she might have done that another time, but she really just wanted to be quick about it. Why did everything feel like a chore?

One thing she did have in mind, however, was buying heels. She didn’t have a complex about her height, but standing next to Josh, she felt like a midget. And now she could have an excuse to wear heels. I’ll be of average height, she thought sardonically as she struggled with strap around the ankle and the tiny clasp. She didn’t know why they made heels so difficult to put on, but it would be worth it. It was nice being taller, especially since she was dating six-foot-three Josh. She didn’t put too much effort into anything else, just shrugged her jacket over the strapless dress and used a fancy clip to hold up her hair. Even though for a formal event, taking her down would have been better, she was probably going to end up hot anyway. Make-up, but not a lot, and then she figured she was done. She sighed, thinking of how guys had an easier time getting ready. Throw on a suit and come their hair, that was it.

All she had to do was play the waiting game and she watched television while trying not to chicken out of her decision. Maybe I could call in sick? No, she wouldn’t want to admit to being sick, and it wouldn’t be likely. Well, for her. She didn’t often get sick after all. I could say I made plans I forgot about. But it seemed a little late for that. Besides, it would be bitchy to cancel so last minute, and so she’d settled back on convincing herself not to strip down and curl under her blankets. I’m going to have fun, she thought with determination as she focused on the television. Sure, she didn’t really know how to dance, but it wasn’t something that you needed practice in, right? She wasn’t sure if she’d even dance. Maybe just be a wallflower. What if Josh wants to dance? Now she was just tiring herself out with thoughts of the night to come, and she figured that she should stop before she gave herself an aneurysm.

The text finally came and she grabbed the box sitting on her coffee table before heading down the stairs. Heels. Crap. Sitting on the top steps, she took them off and walked down the seven flights barefoot. When she got to the lobby, she brushed off the bottom of her feet and put them back on. Nell headed out to the parking lot with a smile on her face, and first instinct was to compliment Josh. ”Hey, good-looking,” Nell said jokingly. She may have felt pretty crappy, but she wasn’t about to make her boyfriend feel crappy. Remembering the box in her hand she said, ”Oh!” She took out the blue flower that she’d grown and pinned it to Josh’s lapel. ”I’ve been told this is tradition or something,” she said as she pursed her lips, thinking about what her friend had said. ”So are you ready?” Nell asked, quite pointlessly. She didn’t know if there was anything else he’d have to take care of.

outfit,

[JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE]

Joshua's patience really shone through as he did not so much as fidget in his place, leaning back into the comfortable seat of his car and yawning slightly in spite of himself. He was not exactly tired but sometimes when he was in a position of warmth and relaxation he felt like sleeping anyway. This was how he felt as the seconds ticked by until at last movement by the doors of the apartment building. He got out of the car so that their greeting was not awkward and--Damn, she's hot. Yeah, he knew she would have been able to pull off anything. The blue colour looked nice on her and he was confused for a moment as to what was different. It was then that he noticed the heels and thus registered that the difference in height was not just his imagination. His gray eyes glittered with amusement as she greeted him. "Hey, sexy," he replied seamlessly. He parroted her joking tone but he really did think that she was sexy. Nell knew that, hopefully, but just in case she needed reassuring that he was not kidding he added, "You look great. I told you so."

He chuckled at her sudden realization. "It is," he confirmed as she pinned the flower to the lapel of the blazer, smirking a bit as he produced a corsage from where he'd tucked it inside his jacket and slipped it on her wrist. "Good thing I went with blue," he chuckled. He'd never really understood the whole tradition thing but after the first year of prom when they'd (thankfully both) forgotten and had only realised once they'd entered the hall, he'd upheld it. "Unfortunately I can't be all fancy and grow it myself." His tone was light and teasing--he really was looking forward to this if only for Nell's sakes. He could not tell whether or not she was excited or not but at least if she wasn't she was humouring him. That was all he'd asked for. Now, six months or whenever down the line when other people looked back on it, Nell would also have something to remember fondly. That was what he wanted from this. He just wanted her to be happy. Even if this wasn't what she wanted right now, well, maybe she'd be happy about it later. Or she'd regret it, which he was seriously hoping she would not.

Joshua dipped his head when she asked if he was ready to go, playing up the role of a gentleman with a joking wink as he opened the car door for her. "I figured a sports car might stand out more than a limo," he chuckled, grinning a little. He was proud of his Harper and she'd cost most than a limo ride would (though he was not sure about a limo itself as he'd never expressed the urge to buy one). When they reached the Academy and he parked the Aventador in the already packed lot he got out of the car and kissed her before offering her his arm. "Are a lot of your friends coming?" he asked her conversationally as they walked toward the Academy, Joshua occasionally nodding or smiling at people he recognised. He was still getting used to the fact that Nell was a little taller than usual but as it was not by an earth-shattering amount it was only a minor adjustment. He found he quite liked it. As long as she wasn't taller than him--those would take some pretty big heels--he was fine with whatever. "What do you want to do first?"

_____

TAGGED Nell Doe Shepherd
WORDS Didn't count.
OUFIT Oh look, Shawn in a suit >.>
NOTES It works.
CREDIT Yours truly~

[NELL DOE DALE]

feel myself going slow

* feel myself letting go ,

not taken, not feeling like i'm yours

Nell was not thinking she looked good at all, and was of course serious about her own compliment, even though she said it in a joking tone. She knew he was joking himself, so she didn’t get quite as flustered, but her chest still felt weird when he said it. Then he had to go and say it more seriously, and that did bring the heat to her cheeks. ”Thank you,” she said, thinking of the fact that she had been very lazy with preparation. Apparently, that didn’t matter, and she didn’t know whether or not she could believe him enough to be reassured. The self-esteem issue was one still a play. ”Mhmm,” she said with a playful roll of her eyes at his ‘told you so’ comment. ”Well, I think we’ll look great together.” She was good at this whole pretending thing. She wasn’t absolutely dreading the night, but she didn’t know yet how much she’d enjoy it with how she was feeling. Of course, she didn’t want to bring Josh down with her mood, and so she played it off.

Apparently, Josh had remembered the whol corsage thing and she smiled at the flower. ”I’m impressed,” she said lightly, before turning her gaze back to him. Joking came easier when she wasn’t focused on the sick feeling in her stomach. Instead of a dress and heels, she really wished she was in sweats or something else just as comfortable, under her sheets and off in dreamland. But she couldn’t have everything she wanted, she guessed, so she tried to shift her needs over to the dance. Nell tilted her head as she teased, ”I know, you’re jealous. But hey, you still have being a space heater going for you.” Okay, yeah, she definitely could do this. It wouldn’t be hard to go through the night if she just pushed through the fatigue and the disinterest. She hated feeling like this, after all, so maybe that was enough to make it change. Nell didn’t have too much hope, however, because she didn’t know what exactly she should change.

Nell placed a hand over her chest as he opened the door and she got in as gracefully as possible when wearing a dress. She’d worn them enough times that she was used to them, but it was still hard to remember sometimes that she was not in jeans and there were rules when it came to dresses. ”Yeah, but where’s the mini-fridge?” she asked, smiling over at Josh. She didn’t think a mini-fridge would fit into the Aventador, though, and she would have been fine with anything. Besides, she felt bad for Josh even having to waste the gas to go to the dance, Nell knew a limo would have made her feel worse about her lack of enthusiasm. Once again, she had to keep the fact she was wearing a dress in mind when she got out of the car. She kissed Josh back and slid her arm through his as she considered his question. ”I think so. I don’t know everyone who’s coming, but most of the people I’ve talked to said they were planning on it. How about your friends?” She doing good with conversation, so it did lift her spirits for the night. It could go well, she figured, all she had to do was think that it would. If she had the right mindset and wasn’t a mopey bitch, then she’d be good. Nell looked around at everyone, now feeling somewhat overwhelmed. ”I…don’t know,” she said, her expression wary. She really had no clue, and she was aware that she wasn’t being of any help to her boyfriend. There was a part of her that regretted coming, now, when she realized there really wasn’t anything she wanted to do. Josh should have a date who would actually enjoy the night, not one who couldn’t even think of what she wanted to do first because she was being such a debbie downer.

outfit,

[JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE]

Surely enough, Nell became flustered at the compliment and this made Joshua's smile widen all the more. He had promised himself that he was going to turn her self-esteem around little by little. Even if it was just small things like dropping compliments and making remarks on when she was doing good at something. He wasn't being fake, at least. Josh really did think that his girlfriend was hot, he just normally would have let that go without saying most of the time. Though of course at a dance he likely would have made a comment no matter whom he was dating. "Indeed we will," he agreed. "Let's go make everyone else jealous." His gray eyes were sparkling with amusement, hinting at the fact he was joking. He didn't think that people were necessarily going to drop their jaws to the floor or anything like that but he did think they made a sexy couple and he was proud to be taking Nell to the prom rather than some girl whom he'd only went with for the sake of formalities and such. He was going to enjoy this night so that she could enjoy it, too. Keep the mood light, keep things moving. He wouldn't allow much time for thoughts and contemplation, he decided.

Ah, the old space heater joke again. It reminded him of the days before they'd even been friends with one another, making a paradise in the forest as Joshua tried to help her get settled into things at the Academy. That had been nearly a year ago, hadn't it? For some reason it felt strange, like it had been much longer than that. He could remember the awkward stage but it was like those feelings had been those of another person. He could not imagine feeling differently toward Nell than he did right now. "You're hot and I can make you even hotter," he said with a smirk, waving his hand and causing a comfortable wash of heat to engulf them both, sheltering from the chilly winter air. He caught the double entendre to his words but didn't point it out. Heh. Don't I wish. Ah, but if wishes were horses. He allowed it to remain a joke rather than an unintentional bout of flirting and just carried on as if nothing had happened. Hopefully with Nell's naivete she wouldn't get too awkward about that. He'd never hit on her before (those were usually the sorts of things he'd say, ironically enough) and thus wasn't sure how it would be recieved.

He nodded. "A lot of them have dates." He knew that Devin was going with Autumn, for example, and there were a lot of other friends of his planning to turn up with their respective partners. Some people broke up before their plans came to fruition but hopefully most of the people who'd been intending to go together got to have their fun. A dance was too much of a silly thing to come between Josh and Nell he believed, even if Nell wasn't as enthusiastic as he'd wished. "It's okay," he said consolingly, adding a soft chuckle when she admitted not knowing what to do. He'd been to prom before, he knew how it worked. The wallflowers sat at tables or hung around in chatty groups, some of the couples spent most of the evening playing tonsil hockey, the teachers broke up arguments when ex-girl and boyfriends met up in the hall. And then there was the dancing, the one part he'd been wondering about with Nell. "I know what I'm doing." He was not afraid to take the lead if she was feeling uncertain about the dance because he was determined to show her a good time. He'd be disappointed in himself if he didn't. "Have you ever danced with anyone before?" he asked her as they finally entered the dark hall, Joshua navigating through couples and groups to a less crowded locale. The music made it a little harder to hear but he just spoke up to accommodate this.

_____

TAGGED Nell Doe Shepherd
WORDS Didn't count.
OUFIT Oh look, Shawn in a suit >.>
NOTES I ABSOLUTELY COULD NOT RESIST THAT DOUBLE ENTENDRE I'M SORRY--
CREDIT Yours truly~

[NELL DOE DALE]

feel myself going slow

* feel myself letting go ,

not taken, not feeling like i'm yours

Nell still didn’t know how to react to compliments, and so she felt awkward whenever Josh did it. Is he lying? She wasn’t used to it, being called ‘sexy’ or ‘hot’, especially when she didn’t think as much. However, nowadays she was paying a little more attention to herself, though in a bad way. I don’t believe you. He’d seen the scars, and she didn’t even realize that turning it around on Josh, she didn’t care about his scars. Therefore, she was at the ready to move on and say that together they looked good, because any attention still made her nervous. ”Hopefully they don’t feel too bad,” she said, mocking a hair-flip. She believed she was doing good with the whole joking thing, even though her movements felt lethargic and in the back of her mind, she kept thinking of how she’d rather be asleep right now. Just make pretend. If she kept up a front, then Josh wouldn’t realize that she wasn’t feeling good anymore, and that’s how she wanted it. Why make him worry when she knew she’d get better? Because she had to get better. Somehow, that thought made her sad.

Nell did not recognize the doouble meaning that could be taken in Josh’s words at first, so she just went about her merry joking. ”And that’s why I keep you around,” she teased. The heat was rather nice, especially during the wintertime and when she was wearing a dress (pantyhose weren’t the ultimate protection against the elements). And since she wasn’t running on a sexual train of thought, she found nothing off about her boyfriend’s joking. That is, until she actually thought about it and it abruptly came to her. Oh. Luckily she managed to keep a blush from her face. That was completely unintentional, right? Of course, he was just making a joke. Now Nell felt like a perv for even considering that Josh may have said something like that. ”You save a bundle on heating bills,” she continued to keep her mind off of her little realization. No need to make it awkward, nope.

Nodding at Josh’s words, Nell was feeling anxious now that they’d arrived. She really thought it might have been better if she’d just chose to curl up under the sheets and stayed in bed, called in sick days ago. She wasn’t fit for this, and she was feeling uncomfortable, even though nothing in her demeanor betrayed as much. Josh assured her that not knowing what she wanted to do was all right, but she wasn’t sure if she felt as much. Nell didn’t know where all this anxiety was coming from, but had a feeling it was just an extension of her overall mood. Just try to be happy. ”Good,” she said quietly, looking off now so that she didn’t show any of her nervousness. If I was sleeping, I wouldn’t have to worry about this. Oh dear, dancing. ”No, not really…” she said nervously. Maybe she should have prepared more? I didn’t even want to go, she thought desperately. And then she was pushing negative thoughts away. She wasn’t going to ruin it for the both of them, no matter what she was feeling. ”Have you?” she asked instead of letting her mind wander to bad things. She figured he might have, since the fact that he knew what he was doing proved that he’d been to a dance before.

outfit,

[JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE]

Joshua studied her face to watch for any sort of blush rising to her cheeks, wondering if she had caught the double meaning to his words. He felt that he was in the clear when they remained their normal colour and thus allowed himself to relax. He could still pick up on small hints that Nell was not quite as happy about this as she should be. He was glad and even respected that she was trying to act normal (was it for his sake?) but that didn't mean he was oblivious. He was sure she'd normally have made a beeline for the table currently piled with snacks or at least been a lot more enthusiastic about finding her friends and such. Instead she seemed almost... hesitant? She had said herself that she didn't know what she wanted to do. Josh had promised himself that he wasn't going to allow himself to slip up and let her know he was suspicious and so he, as per usual, acted as if this was totally normal for them. "A lot of people turned up," he commented. "I was wondering if the war would change things." He'd never been to prom during a war before. There had been years with wars in them that he'd went but they'd usually been resolved before the winter break or else just forgotten about. Hopefully no fights broke out.

He was not altogether surprised that Nell had never danced with anyone before, mainly because she'd not had many experiences thanks to her upbringing. He figured that maybe she might have gone with friends to some event in the past and so it would be safe to ask but apparently there had to be a first time for everything and for dancing, this was hers. It was still surprising him that he was far more experienced than she was in a lot of small things that amounted to a relationship because he'd never been in one before and so when they came across something that was not foreign to him it was a nice touch. Like prom. He'd been before, just not with an actual date. And dancing, well, you didn't grow up with parents like his and not get pushed into it at some point. He wasn't great at it but he knew more than Nell did. "I have," he confirmed with a smile. "No stepping on toes from me, I promise." He winked and smiled at the joke, hoping to lighten the mood a little. I want you to enjoy this, I want you to remember it.

He always felt a little smug when he went anywhere with Nell as a real couple, actually showing off the fact that she was his girlfriend and not just a really good friend that he sat with in the mess hall and walked with to classes in order to extend conversations. He didn't like people that were overly affectionate in public because it could often be off-putting after a while and so the only time he really got to brag about it was at times like these. He stepped away from her and offered his hand with a bit of a smile. "Trust me?" It was a question, more of an offer than a demand. He didn't want to force her into this but they were at a dance, it would be missing the point if they just stood around and talked about themselves the entire time. They could have done that at home any day of the week. This was a one time thing. I wonder if she'll do okay with those heels? He never understood how girls could wear those absolutely ridiculous things. True, it helped in making her taller but damn they looked painful. He was glad he didn't have to go through such troubles himself. She got the short end of the stick quite literally. Oh, god, that was so bad. Puns. He almost said it aloud but thought it might have been too random for the situation.

_____

TAGGED Nell Doe Shepherd
WORDS Didn't count.
OUFIT Oh look, Shawn in a suit >.>
NOTES xDD
CREDIT Yours truly~

[NELL DOE DALE]

feel myself going slow

* feel myself letting go ,

not taken, not feeling like i'm yours

Nell believed she was holding up pretty good, because she was unaware of the clues she was giving Josh that betrayed how she was really feeling. Nothing right now held too much interest for her, but if she did find a friend, she’d head over to talk to them. Still, she appeared to be as content as possible, so that Josh could be reassured that his girlfriend was fine and just nervous because this would be her first dance. ”Guess not,” she responded with an easy smile, looking around to see if she’d spy any of her friends. Once she did, she gave a wave but she didn’t make to approach her, seeing as the girl was talking to who Nell figured must have been her date. It felt weird, seeing everyone from the Academy again after such a dramatic event occurred in her life. She wondered how many people here knew, how many people saw her and instantly thought of the trial and the fact that she was a murderer, only not in the first-degree. Because no matter what, a murderer is a murderer. She felt very self-conscious, not knowing if she was ready to face strangers who might have known more about her life than she wanted them to know. It was a horrible feeling, but she kept her anxiety and stress from showing. Maybe if she could turn her thoughts off for one night, she might be okay.

Nell focused her attention on her boyfriend, hating how she felt because Josh deserved better than this. ”Ah,” she said when he told her that he’d danced before. It was reassuring, she supposed. It always seemed that he knew more than her, which made her feel rather proud whenever she could get the upperhand on him in a situation just so she didn’t feel like a complete idiot. Still, it was hard to make up for seventeen years, and there was a lot of things she had yet to learn. Like dancing. ”I can’t promise the same,” she said, only half-joking. She imagined that stepping on toes would be especially painful, so she was wary about even attempting to dance. Plus, it didn’t take long for them to become obnoxiously painful, and she wouldn’t be surprised to find most of the girls barefoot by the end of the night. She may not have had as much experience as Josh with dances, but she was sure she had more experience than him with heels. At least, she hoped so.

She hated how self-conscious she was right now, lucidly aware of anyone who happened to meet her gaze. Were they thinking of anything they’d seen on the news? Were they judging her? She was startled out of such thoughts by Josh, and she blinked at his hand, hesitating. ”Uh…okay, I can trust you,” she said with a contemplative frown. ”I don’t know if I can trust myself.” But she took his hand anyway, because she wasn’t going to avoid doing everything. This was a dance, not a ‘sit at a table and do nothing’. She figured that talking to some friends would be easier than dancing for her, but she refused to complain tonight. She would just go with the flow and at least try to get rid of the apprehension she felt, now keenly aware if anyone looked at her. She wasn’t used to feeling this self-conscious, so aware of herself. It was scary. ”I apologize beforehand for any feet that may be mutilated,” she joked to take her mind off of her concerns. No one is judging you, she tried to convince herself. She wondered if anyone would approach her tonight, if a friend was going to come up and tell her that they couldn’t be around someone who killed their mother. Nell believed that going out tonight she may have been able to avoid these sorts of thoughts, but so far it was unsuccessful.

outfit,

[JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE]

Like Nell herself, Joshua was also a little wary of the others in the hall--just not for his own benefit. He was concerned that someone might cause problems for Nell because of the trial and he was really hoping that things went smoothly. It would put a pretty big damper on the evening if it was cut through with someone coming up to her and calling her out for being a murderer. People weren't going to understand that she had done it in self-defence if they didn't want to believe as such. Opinions were dangerous things. They could be good, too, as in Joshua's case, but it was not the potential believers that worried him. He was wary of the people that thought of Nell as cold and cruel for taking her mother's life and he could not promise to hold off on physical violence if anyone chose tonight to make those feelings known. He knew that violence would get him kicked out of the hall and thus didn't plan on it but he knew he wouldn't have too much control over his temper if someone happened to insult Nell. Just let them keep to themselves for one night? It was a small hope but it was there. Maybe people would be too distracted by their dates to care.

Speaking of dates, he was relatively glad that he could be distracted by his. He hadn't been eager to go to prom but he knew that if Nell had stayed home he likely would have spent the entire night regretting the fact he'd been unable to convince her. He knew that prom was a pretty big thing for girls and even a lot of the guys, too. He supposed the novelty was more prominent in girls because they got to get dressed up for the evening and show off to their friends. "Don't worry too much," he laughed softly, easily. He didn't sound worried and he hoped this was picked up on by his girlfriend. "I'm a tough guy, Nelly, I can handle it." Though his gray eyes sparkled with the joking he was mostly serious. He wasn't going to be crippled with pain and crying if she stepped on his foot--maybe a wince if it was a particularly violent offence but he'd endured a lot worse. It would only be a moment of pain. True, there was the fact that they were heels but he doubted she was going to twist her foot around and stomp on his with the back bit. Smiling, he said, "Your feet'll be in more pain than mine at this rate. Don't those hurt?" He gestured vaguely toward the floor, indicating her heels.

The fact that she was nervous was both amusing and kind of adorable. Isn't it supposed to be the chick that has no clue what she's doing? It was pretty easy to get the hang of the faster songs seeing as there really wasn't any set "way" that it was supposed to be done. Slow dancing was a bit different and he definitely could do without it (he generally just let the girl decide whether or not it was her thing and went with whatever) but this was Nell. She'd never been to a formal dance before so he was going to make sure he incorporated as much of the experience as he remembered. Still, it would be no fun for either of them if Nell didn't loosen up a bit. "Put it this way," he said with a reassuring grin, "most of these bastards are too buzzed or too busy staring at each other to care." They checked to make sure you were not drunk as you went in, but, well, some people managed to slip past the security. Either that or they snuck stuff in and just drank while they were there. He'd done that his first year, after all.

And, hey, it was one song. "Just follow my lead," he invited with a smirk as he put his hand on her waist. They at least had an advantage in the fact that neither of them had tried to get into prom drunk and thus were not going to be staggering around like idiots. He couldn't remember his first experience much at all thanks to how much he'd drank but he was sure he'd been a lot less polite and coordinated as he was now. Not that his "date" had cared. He didn't recognise the song--would Nell? It was probably one of the more mainstream slow songs and as he preferred listening to his own music he didn't often turn on the radio. He kept eye contact with her to make it less awkward and more personal and decided that conversation might also help. He didn't see an issue with chatting during a dance as long as he didn't distract her so much that she tripped. His own movement was confident and self-assured but he knew that Nell was probably a lot more nervous than he. "You used to work at Club Corrosion," he said with a chuckle, "so I'm sure you know what happens when they break out the faster songs, eh?" As far as Joshua was aware, the Academy disallowed (well, tried to) the type of "dancing" that most teenagers learned in clubs, but it had never stopped anyone before. Does Nell know how...? He was lucky he wasn't an easy blusher or that might have sent the heat straight to his face. The idea of Nell dancing with him like that... damn, he wouldn't let his thoughts go there right now, thank you very much.

_____

TAGGED Nell Doe Shepherd
WORDS Didn't count.
OUFIT Oh look, Shawn in a suit >.>
NOTES Pft he actually called her Nelly for once. haha oh god the hip hop songs and shit
CREDIT Yours truly~