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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Nov 15, 2011 20:54:31 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width:380px; height:200px; background-image: url(http://i584.photobucket.com/albums/ss283/amostprofoundseduction/paper1.jpg); padding:3px 10px 10px 10px; border-radius: 30px 30px 0px 0px; -moz-border-radius: 30px 30px 0px 0px;] I'M NOTHING BUT A TIN MAN, DON'T FEEL ANY PAIN. rusted from the rain,
I STUMBLE THROUGH THE WRECKAGE, RUSTED FROM THE RAIN. THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO SALVAGE, NO ONE LEFT TO BLAME. AMONG THE BROKEN MIRRORS, I DON'T LOOK THE SAME - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - . Though Joshua had been to America before, never had it been such a tense and frightening trip. He said goodbye to his mother at the airport and boarded the plane. There was a sickening feeling in his stomach the entire time and though some might have chalked it up to airplane sickness, Josh himself knew better. He'd been on flights countless times before and had never felt an ounce of anxiety. This was not motion sickness he was getting, these were nerves. Nerves because he didn't know whether he'd have a girlfriend for the return trip. He'd tried to think about it as little as possible but now that it was being shoved upon them both so suddenly that there was nowhere else for his mind to wander. He attempted a smile in Nell's direction for the sake of appearances but it was strained and it did not affect the rest of his expression. He would normally have kept up some form of distracting conversation for the sake of his girlfriend but even as he racked his brains for something to say, some random topic of conversation, nothing came to mind. All he could think about was the trial, jail cells, how freaked out he was, how freaked out Nell must be. We're not ready for this. The truth was that they had never been ready, would never be ready. There was just no way you could prepare to have the life of yourself or a loved one (in Josh's case) put up on trial like that. The idea that he might never see Nell again after the conclusion sickened him.
Whilst he'd been to America, Joshua had never actually been to a trial. They'd asked him to give names to apprehend members of the gang but when they'd pressed him to testify in court he had denied that vehemently. ("They don't know my name, they can't know my name, they'll kill me, I know they will!") That had been all too accurate. This was different as he had no part in this except for watching as his girlfriend took the heat of questioning and the like. A lot of it was boring legal talk but he was hanging onto almost every word that he understood. Was it possible that they'd already made their decision and these were just the formalities? What if they already had a jail cell waiting? They can't do that, right? Surely they can't do that. He hadn't eaten much over the past week, too anxious to even think about it. His attachment to Nell was pretty strong--losing her forever was not something he wanted to entertain. Rationality would suggest that they could still write, there might even be legal visits of some sort, but that was not the same. If it had just been a friendship he might have been able to bear the burden a little more easily but this was the girl he was in love with. You usually couldn't so much as hug when it came to prison visits, let alone kiss or sit close to one another. There were time limits, supervisors... he'd be losing his girlfriend and confidant if this all went bad. He didn't want it to go badly but could not convince himself of any other outcome.
His expression was impassive and his posture stiff for most of the proceedings on that final day. He probably looked almost statuesque by how little expression and movement he displayed, not wanting to give anything away. Terror was not something he was used to dealing with and the way that it twisted in his gut and hooked into his thoughts was consuming. He had to concentrate hard so as not to slip into absolutely glaring at Pilar as the man questioned Nell. I'm sure you've heard all this before, asshole. He knew that there were certain formalities to a trial but there was that overprotective part of him that really felt for what Nell was going through. Are you going to be alright? Not if she went to jail, she wasn't. What else could come of this? Did her defence have much of a case? He suddenly wished he understood law and legal jargon a lot more than he did. He had poured his interests into medical studies, the only things he knew of court cases were from true crime novels and the occasional documentary. Not enough to understand where this was going. When Nell was forced to explain some of the things that Nell's mother had actually done to her, Josh's composure slipped a little, concern and slight horror bleeding through the cracks. That's terrible. He had known Mia had abused her daughter but it was painful to hear just how bad the abuse had been, especially knowing that Nell hadn't even told him these details and was now being forced to explain them to an entire courtroom. He winced slightly in spite of himself but quickly regained his solid demeanour.
Waiting for the jury to make their decision was perhaps even worse than the formalities themselves. He was shaking slightly and had enough sense to be exasperated with himself. Nell should be the one who's scared about this, not you. No doubt she was. He wanted to be able to talk to her, comfort her, hug her or at least hold her hand but as he could not he just clenched his hand into a slow fist and waited. Gray eyes scanned the faces of the jurors but in their gazes he could read nothing. What were they going to say? Despite how hard he was focusing, he was almost certain he hadn't heard the verdict at all. Or, rather, that he'd misheard it. Pessimism had so strongly convinced him that this was going to end badly that he had been unwilling to believe she had any chance at all, but as the judge went on to explain the verdict to the room he blinked slowly. He might not have understood much about legalities but 'justifiable homicide' was... that was a good thing, right? His lips twitched into the smallest of smiles as he saw Nell shaking hands with her lawyer, barely daring to believe it. She's not going to jail? We're going to be okay? He was asking himself for clarification but of course could offer nothing other than 'they said not guilty, they actually said not guilty'.
When he finally located her afterwards, Joshua had no idea of what he was going to say. Most of his planning--and even that had been vague--had been for what he was going to do if she was found guilty. He was in a bit of a strange mood, thrilled but unable to really show it. Would it have been more appropriate to cheer and grin right now? All he managed to do was smile at her and pull her into a wordless hug, trying to make the gesture convey everything that he was feeling right now. If he'd been less stoic, less composed, he might actually have started crying with relief. As it was he just held her for a longer time than usual before pulling away, allowing his hand to rest on her shoulder for a moment longer before dropping it. It was still hard to comprehend the fact that it wasn't the last time he'd be allowed to do this. "You did it, Nell." It wasn't necessary but fuck necessities, he needed to solidify it for his own benefit. "You won." His lips brushed hers for only a brief moment, a quick peck rather than an actual kiss. It was meant to display affection without going over the top--he doubted she wanted to get into all that right now, she'd had a rough week, he understood that. Emitting a weak laugh that was filled with his sense of relief, he smiled again, easier this time. "I love you, you know that?" For Josh, the best part was that he didn't have to let go of that. He didn't have to let it all go to waste because she was free, and some time soon that was really going to sink in.
GO ON CRUSH ME LIKE A FLOWER, RUSTED FROM THE RAIN. COME ON STRIP ME OF MY POWER, BEAT ME WITH YOUR CHAINS. AND IF I'M THE KING OF COWARDS, YOU'RE THE QUEEN OF PAIN - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - . |
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Post by NELL DOE DALE on Nov 16, 2011 17:28:56 GMT -5
Nell didn’t know when time would unfreeze for her. When the dread would leave her body and the realization that she can move on with her life would hit. She tried not to think about it as she spoke for a few moments with her father, but there was so much ahead of her. ” There will be time to murder and create…time for you and time for me, and time yet for a hundred indecisions , and for a hundred visions and revisions.” And how would she go about these decisions, what she was going to do with her life now that she had one, now that she was certain. Her father talked to her about getting tickets home—they weren’t going to by a round trip, now were they?—and he called her mija and for once it didn’t hurt. She wasn’t going to let their relationship become like the one between him and his father. Nell was going to make things work, because she could now. She didn’t have to block out her future, and so the rush of feelings it gave her was overwhelming. There was a lot on her plate at the moment, even when she knew that she wasn’t ever going to have to come back again.
When will it feel good? Nell knew that she should be beaming, happy, flitting around the courthouse like a fairy, but there was a heaviness in her heart, and not all of it was due to the exhaustion. She’d killed her mother and gotten off on first-degree charges, and yet she was stuck on that point—she’d killed her mother. Speaking about her and the life the two had and their relationship struck her in a place she didn’t dare open before then. It allowed all of her remorse and regret and sadness to seep through, but she was still smiling when she got something to eat from a vending machine. She was hoping food would get rid of the uneasiness in her stomach. Why am I not happy? It concerned her little, because her mind instantly went to fatigue. She was simply tired, is all. There was nothing to worry about, especially now that she was completely and totally free. This thought strengthed her smile when Josh came along. He wasn’t fistpumping and didn’t have his face painted or anything celebratory like that, but he was still the best thing she’d seen all day. Much better than staring down Pilar as he questioned her about mommy dearest.
When Josh embraced her, she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest, wishing she could fall asleep right then. She was tired but thankful for the comfort, something that she didn’t have to lose. Nell wasn’t going to have to lose him, there wouldn’t be bars separating them, and even that hadn’t truly hit her yet. She was still reeling from surprise. ”I guess I did.” She’d beaten the government machine that she feared so much, she’d defeated powers that seemed almighty beforehand. And even that wasn’t fully reaching her, how magnificent of an event that had just occurred. I really need sleep. She smiled, feeling Josh’s lips against hers, and liked knowing that they could still be around each other. ”I know,” she said in a light joke that didn’t really carry though her soft voice. Exhaustion was taking its toll. ”I love you too.” And it didn’t hurt to think that anymore. Before the trial, love was scary because it meant that she could lose something great. Now she could think of how much she wanted to be around Josh without that fear. Again, she needed time for that to truly sink in.
She tilted her head, and ruffled up the back of her hair as she bypassed a yawn. “I just can’t wait to get home,” she said with a small smile. “And start on the whole naturalization process.” Nell was planning on staying at the Academy, after all, and she wanted to live in Canada. New York had been her home before, but it no longer was. If she were in a better state of mind, she would have liked to sight-see and maybe go to some shows or eat at the restaraunts but she most certainly wasn’t. ”College…” she murmured, her eyes wide with the realization that if she wanted to stay in school, she’d be graduating this year. So much is changing. “How are you feeling?” she asked,searching his eyes. Nell worried about him a lot, consider he didn’t have to come, but he supported her anyway. There were many words that could describe how she felt about him, and she didn’t even know if ‘love’ was the most accurate.
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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Nov 16, 2011 18:57:35 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width:380px; height:200px; background-image: url(http://i584.photobucket.com/albums/ss283/amostprofoundseduction/paper1.jpg); padding:3px 10px 10px 10px; border-radius: 30px 30px 0px 0px; -moz-border-radius: 30px 30px 0px 0px;] I'M NOTHING BUT A TIN MAN, DON'T FEEL ANY PAIN. rusted from the rain,
I STUMBLE THROUGH THE WRECKAGE, RUSTED FROM THE RAIN. THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO SALVAGE, NO ONE LEFT TO BLAME. AMONG THE BROKEN MIRRORS, I DON'T LOOK THE SAME - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - . He felt an overwhelming rush of some unidentifiable emotion as Nell wrapped her arms around him. It felt like the sort of adrenaline that one might get from going down a steep drop on a roller coaster and it also tightened his chest as his emotions became a lot harder to decipher and control. There was a part of him that still felt like crying and considering he almost never got emotional this was surprising even for him. As he pulled away from her he actually ducked his head a little and dabbed his eyes on the end of his sleeve. Just in case. He felt so... strange. He was happy but not overjoyed, he was sad but not depressed. The reality of it had not yet hit him and so the negative emotions he'd been feeling up until the verdict were mingling with the suppressed ones that he didn't have enough capacity to understand yet and this was confusing him. He gave a short and weak laugh, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at his own reaction. He couldn't even keep his own head straight and yet his girlfriend was the one who'd just slid out from the grasp of the law. How long would it take him to accept that it was real, that she wasn't going anywhere? He'd need time. It was like having a death in the family in a much less depressing way--it took time to accept that someone was really gone, so it was going to take time for him to accept that she was really here to stay. Hearing that she loved him made him smile--he knew it, really, but it was good to have it solidified sometimes. Especially after something like this.
Naturalization. He knew what the word meant but for a moment it caught him off guard, having forgotten that she would now be legally allowed to stay in the country of his birth. A part of him had been worried that she might move back to New York if she made it out of the trial unscathed. His pessimism really did have a large impact on his life and his thoughts. "Now you're a legal alien," he joked quietly with a small smile. Like Nell herself he was a bit too tired to show too much of his usual humour around her but he also wasn't going to try and drag her down. She deserved this, deserved to be happy. There was something different about her happiness but he couldn't place his finger on it just yet. She's probably just tired, he thought dismissively. Nell was surely as happy about this as he was, right? Or at least, as happy as he would have been if his stomach wasn't growling and he wasn't as tired? "I can't wait either." He wanted to be home, home with Nell and not having to worry about any upcoming trial. There were still his parents and even the thought made him cringe a little inside his head but he pushed it away. I've got Nell, at least. He wasn't going to have gone through all this just to let her go in favour of an epiphany brought on by his father. No, he would stay. They had as long as they wanted now and he could finally face the future without thinking about jail cells and prison inmates.
And college, too! He hadn't thought about that either, to be honest. Joshua hadn't allowed himself to think on anything past the trial because he'd been convinced that there would be anything (for Nell, at least) after. "Do you have tuition?" he asked. He would, of course, have helped her out if she needed it. However, Joshua knew her well enough by now that he did not ask. She had her father as well and her own money so as long as she wasn't struggling he'd just let it alone. He was learning things in this relationship. About Nell, about himself, about how this all worked. And now he had found out that it wasn't all going to be for nothing. Even though he was by nature a pessimist, he did not switch to thoughts like, "But what if we break up?" Sometimes he knew when to just let happiness be enough. He was alright with Nell right now, they were not fighting, he would accept that for what it was and take it a day at a time because he could. He also remembered that there was prom to be thinking about but decided he wouldn't bring that up just yet. They were both tired, talking about things like that could wait. "There's still a few weeks for that," he said reassuringly. "You could even put in for it late, you just don't have as many choices with majors and the classes you can take." He knew all of this from the experiences of some friends he had at the Academy, mostly.
That was a good question--how was he feeling? I'm not sure. For Nell's sake he took a moment to try and pick apart a couple of the things that were going through his mind. "Relieved, mostly," he confessed. "I've spent all this time worrying about how I was going to lose you, but now..." He trailed off and his lips twitched. He could feel the emotions welling up again but they were more expected this time, easier to suppress. He was in a real mess right now emotionally and very confused but he was also good with his emotions. He hardly ever cried over everything, they weren't going to break an emotional dam just because his eyes had been watering a little earlier. "Plus I'm exhausted and I feel like I could eat a horse. Or several." He was obviously kidding, especially considering he was vegetarian, but if she hadn't known him so well Nell likely wouldn't have been able to pick up on it. "... Is your father handling things?" he asked hesitantly after a moment. Personal question, personal question. It felt less intrusive with Nell because he knew that he would answer things in return if ever she asked. He had purchased a round-trip ticket because he'd known he was going back with or without Nell, but he knew that she had not done the same.
GO ON CRUSH ME LIKE A FLOWER, RUSTED FROM THE RAIN. COME ON STRIP ME OF MY POWER, BEAT ME WITH YOUR CHAINS. AND IF I'M THE KING OF COWARDS, YOU'RE THE QUEEN OF PAIN - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - . |
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Post by NELL DOE DALE on Nov 17, 2011 16:36:05 GMT -5
Nell watched curiously as Josh rubbed his eyes with his sleeve. It was a gesture uncommon of him, and she didn’t know what to make of it. But that was nothing new for today—she didn’t know what to make of anything. It was scary to think that she had a future. Not as scary as a jail cell, but still intimidating. She’d sent so much time idling, she didn’t know how to start up again. She guessed becoming a legal Canadian citizen would be a good start. “Legality sounds nice,” she said lightly, smiling up at Josh, but then she was scared again, thinking of how much she’d have to take care of when she made her return. She’d continue to work at Blackjack until she could find a job to better suit her new life, her legal life. Now that she was certain of there being a future for her, she wanted to get a new apartment. She’d spent too long in the cramped space, and she was ready for an apartment with at least one room. As for something else she was ready for… “I think I’m ready to be Canadian. I’ve had a bit of practice.” No longer a fugitive, it was something she’d have to get used to. She’d been living in BC for a year, she felt Canadian. It’s just that she couldn’t allow the law to view her as a citizen. It was strange, knowing that she could legally exist in the free world when she’d spent so much time in fear of it.
Then she realized there was even more to take care of than naturalization. The beginnings of stress made her tense and far too lucid than she should be with her body exhausted as it was. “No, I didn’t think to do it.” Nell didn’t want anything to be set in stone when she didn’t even know whether or not she would return to the Academy. Even as it was, she left a lot of loose ends in Canada that she would have to tie up. But she didn’t want to let everything overwhelm her right now, because she was dog tired and emotionally frayed at the edges. And the weight on her shoulders was already enough to deal with. She’d getting away with murder quite literally, shouldn’t there be some pentenence? Other than the years of abuse beforehand. Added weight came into play when she realized how many people now knew about her history, like it was something that could be printed in a history book, like a song in the public domain for everyone to use. It wasn’t her personal life anymore, it was a public affair. The stenographer had everything written down and it would pass through the judicial system for countless eyes to see, and it didn’t feel right. A person shouldn’t be treated like that. And she knew one thing for sure—she would still carry the stigma of a murderer. It was inescapable. “I think I’ll be all right with tuition. I have money saved up, so I’m hoping it won’t be too much trouble.” She didn’t want to rely on her father for too much, she was an independent person, with a job—maybe—and a life that she wanted to return to. And she had a boyfriend, so she let her mind focus on that bit for a while to make herself feel better. “It’ll all work out,” she said softly as if to reassure herself. She wasn’t so sure, but maybe saying it aloud would make a difference.
She waited patiently for Josh to respond, playing with a loose thread on her dress. Her mind was whirring with strange things now, a jumbled mess of ideas and memories and thoughts not fully recognized. Relieved. She wondered if she could agree. Did she feel relieved? She was a free woman, but she didn’t feel like one yet. No, she felt like a tired, stressed out woman. Still, she smiled and took his hand in hers to give it a reassuring squeeze. ”But now you’re stuck with me,” Nell finished where he left off. That’s how she was operating right now—humor to make light of something that was really a good thing. She was okay, he was okay, they were both going to be okay. At that moment, she didn’t feel very ‘okay’. She sighed as she dropped Josh’s hand and said, ”Let me guess, you haven’t eaten in a while?” Her smile didn’t meet her eyes for two reasons: she didn’t feel happy and she couldn’t exert enough energy. Nell looked away as if she could see something far off, and said, ”We can get something to eat. How about a deli? There’s guarenteed one on every block.” This was New York City, after all, and there were a few things that you could find anywhere—road rage, street performers, and delis. If she were more fit for it, she’d have loved to go to Manhattan and all the restaraunts, or see Ellis Island where her grandparents came through, and simple tourist-y things like that. But she was far too drained, and even the prospect of going to a deli felt exhausting. ”Yeah, he’s taking care of everything right now,” she told Josh, speaking of her father. ”He wants to be out of her by tomorrow.” Nell gave a bit of a wry smile as she explained, ”I think he just wants to get away from his parents. It’s been years since he even spoke to Pilar. It must be painfully awkward.” She knew the growing pains between him and his mother were pretty extensive, too, considering that he told Nell he became a scientist because of her and she mainly just ignored him.
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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Nov 18, 2011 2:46:33 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width:380px; height:200px; background-image: url(http://i584.photobucket.com/albums/ss283/amostprofoundseduction/paper1.jpg); padding:3px 10px 10px 10px; border-radius: 30px 30px 0px 0px; -moz-border-radius: 30px 30px 0px 0px;] I'M NOTHING BUT A TIN MAN, DON'T FEEL ANY PAIN. rusted from the rain,
I STUMBLE THROUGH THE WRECKAGE, RUSTED FROM THE RAIN. THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO SALVAGE, NO ONE LEFT TO BLAME. AMONG THE BROKEN MIRRORS, I DON'T LOOK THE SAME - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - . "You seem down."
No matter how stoic the man may have been, Donovan Dale's wife always managed to pick up on the slightest shifts in his mood. He stirred from his position on the couch, sliding into a sitting position and smoothing down the back of his dark hair. The television screen, sound muted, went dark as the clunk of a remote being put down on a coffee table was heard from nearby. "Did you sleep here last night?" Donovan's potential response was interrupted by a loud yawn. Did it matter where he'd slept? He certainly hadn't gotten very much of it. "Yes," he confirmed regardless, holding back the sarcastic 'obviously' that had begged to be free from his lips. He had to remind himself that Patricia's flight from Ottawa had only gotten back in this morning. "How was the conference?" It was a subtle attempt at diversion that did not succeed. "I assume you were watching the news," his wife said a little drly, and when he didn't respond she added, "The American news." Donovan winced. How does she always know?
Her tone had been disapproving -- he didn't know whether he should be feeling anxious or upset about this right now. They'd fought enough the past few months and he didn't want to fight again, not now, so he bit back the urge to say something negative. "The verdict--" he started but Patricia glared at him in that way of hers that made him falter. What? he thought indignantly, his expression matching his thoughts as he frowned. "I know what the verdict was," said Patricia coldly. "You aren't the only one that wanted to know what was going on." It was the way she said it that spoke the most volumes. Donovan knew that Patricia had disapproved of his decisions since day one of finding out about this whole trial business but it didn't make hearing that cold, knowing tone of voice any easier to endure. He sighed and said nothing. What was there to be said? He had been wrong, supposedly, and his wife was not going to let him forget that. It was bad enough feeling the emptiness of the house every time he went to ask Joshua a question and realised that the boy was not there, having Patricia remind him at every chance did not help.
"Here." A slip of plain white paper marked with Patricia's slanted handwriting was pushed into his grasp. "What's this?" He squinted in an attempt to read it in the almost pitch black of the room before remembering his talents and lighting the area with flame. "Her address," said his wife. Donovan did not need to ask who 'she' was and Patricia did not bother to clarify. Her name drifted into his train of thought with a mixture of emotions -- regret, confusion, and a lingering irritation. Was he still stuck on the stubborn fact that she'd never came clean about the trial or was it the fact that Joshua, his Joshua, had picked her over his own family? I was sure he would stay. The boys room was still exactly as he'd left it. It was if someone had died or gone missing; Donovan had been hoping, irrationally of course, that Joshua would just change his mind and come back home. Joshua. His loyalties had been professed quite clearly, he would not approve of this. "Joshua--"
"Joshua will have other places to be," said Patricia indifferently, raising a blonde brow at him. "You should get some sleep."
__________
It was not until he caught Annabel crying to her friend over the phone about how her brother was going to miss Christmas (again) that Donovan was spurred into action almost a week later. He could brush off a lot of things and pretend that they were not all bad but when his little girl was lamenting over something that he himself had caused, even Donovan drew the line. He nearly jumped right out of his skin when he turned around and saw his wife standing there, staring at him with arms folded. He held her harsh stare for a long moment before he faltered slightly, the guilt eating away at him far too much for the man to be able to pull off assertive confidence. "About those other places Joshua has to be this week..." He trailed off and his lips twitched into an apologetic grimace. He wanted to make things right, he just didn't really know how. The address was still in his pocket. He had switched it out of every outfit he'd worn and taken to carrying it around with him, smoothing it flat and staring at the little letters. He had it memorized by now, honestly. Patricia seemed to understand, just nodding and walking away from him down the hall. As he headed for the staircase he could hear her on the phone behind them.
"Hey, honey. Yes, I got back from Ottawa last week. Oh, I know, dear, but I figured you were tired, I didn't want to bother you. How about coffee? Of course right now, why put it off? I'm sure Nell can live without you for a few hours. Yes, alright. I'll see you soon!"
This was one of the most spontaneous and insane things that Donovan had ever done but he barely gave himself enough time to think as he went into the kitchen and asked the chef to make something quick for the road, wanting to give Patricia a little time to get to the Tim Hortons and work her manipulative (but loving!) ways. He had lived here all his life, went to school here, he knew the streets like the back of his hand. Every white car made him anxious as he made his way to the apartment building but there was no glimpse of the very obvious Aventador on the streets of Maple Hollow. Unless his son had gotten a different car in the months since he'd... left... then that was a good sign. Unfortunately, it did not make it any easier as Donovan pulled into the parking lot and parked the red Ferrari Italia beside a banged up Ford Escape and got out. He paused in the lobby and frowned at the doors. Damn. He'd forgotten they'd be locked -- he certainly was not going to ask Nell to let him in, no. That might go badly. Instead he pulled a convincing spiel about how his key wouldn't work in the door to the next person who came in. She laughed sympathetically and allowed him to go through with her, heading for the stairs where Donovan took the elevator.
This place is... It was nothing like he was used to, nothing like his son was used to. He searched for a kind term in his mind and came up with none. Cheap? Low-maintenance? Or high maintenance, he corrected himself, incredibly relieved that nothing happened to stall the elevator as it went up to the seventh floor. Patricia owned a condo in the capitol for when she stayed there on business but it was so, so much nicer than this place. Of course it had cost a whole lot but that was all Don was used to. Expensive things. How does he manage to live here? Though he'd liked to have denied it, Donovan was not stupid. He had guessed that his son would have taken up residence with the girl. It was still hard not to think of her as the cold-hearted, lying bitch that he'd convinced himself she was. This may end badly. She'd seemed like a sweet girl when they'd met and Joshua only had good stories to tell but people could be different under circumstance.
Facing the apartment door, he began to doubt his decisions. What would come of this? Talking to the girl might only anger his son further. I'm infringing upon his territory now, not the other way around. It had been only too easy to set the rules when he'd owned the house but this was Nell's place and Joshua's girlfriend. He had a wife, he knew how it got when someone else tried to come between a relationship. He chose her over us. The thought was still bitter, even when he tried to soften the severity of it. There was an almost childish thought: he loves her more than us. He wanted his son back, damn it. The sound of the knock against the door seemed like a cannon blast as it broke the silence, though in reality it was not loud at all. Nerves were playing his anxieties like strings. He was usually sauve, stoic, confident. He wasn't used to fear. He wasn't used to owning up to things, either.
There was a first for everything, he supposed.
"Hello, Nell," he said when the door opened. "May I talk to you?"
[... Alright so apparently Donovan has a muse. A very long-winded muse and holy shit this post length was not what I expected. Don't feel the need to match because I just had crazy muse (FOR DONNY WTF) and... yeah. I liked how it turned out.]
GO ON CRUSH ME LIKE A FLOWER, RUSTED FROM THE RAIN. COME ON STRIP ME OF MY POWER, BEAT ME WITH YOUR CHAINS. AND IF I'M THE KING OF COWARDS, YOU'RE THE QUEEN OF PAIN - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - . |
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Post by NELL DOE DALE on Nov 18, 2011 17:30:48 GMT -5
If Nell explained what was wrong, she wouldn’t say that it was any form of depression. In fact, there would be nothing wrong at all. And she didn’t understand herself, why she felt this way, really. She’d just gotten off after murdering her mother, she should be happier than ever. She had what she always wanted, and she was almost angry at herself. Isn’t it enough? Nell didn’t know what it was making her feel like this, because she didn’t want to acknowledge that the trial made her realize so many things. Being put on the stand like that made her think about herself, and it was frightening. Of course, she’d like to think that her boyfriend saw nothing wrong. Before, it had been general repression that she had been able to get by—now it was pretending. So she smiled brightly when Josh left to see his mother, and she would have gone out to so she wouldn’t be bored, but she was just fine playing with Pablo. She didn’t understand why ribbon on the end of a stick was so amazing, but the cat seemed to enjoy it, and that was enough. She blinked over at her phone on the coffee table when she heard it go off, and Pablo waited expectantly as she dropped her arm.
Papa. I don’t want to deal with that, too. The better part of her argued that she wouldn’t be dealing with anything by speaking to her fahter, it would simply be that—a conversation. But she couldn’t help it. I can let one or two calls slip by. Nell didn’t want to talk to him because she was afraid what she might hear in his voice—resentment because she’d gotten off from killing his wife. How did he really feel about his daughter? Leon may have paid for the lawyer, but did he secretly despise her? It was hard to think about the fact that Mia still had connections in the world she had closed herself off from. I took her away from people. So they no longer had a chance to make amends, both her father and aunt. Looking at her phone, she could help but think of the fact that Leon had said before that Mia was the only woman he ever loved, and that was why he hadn’t remarried. He lived as an affluent widower, and she couldn’t imagine that he was happy with the way things were.
Maybe it would have been a good idea to talk to him about the concerns plaguing her. But she was a coward. She didn’t want to face the fact that her relationship with Leon was now a responsibility. She had finally accepted him into her life, and maybe that was why she was scared of his opinion about her. Now she felt the need to hold him at arm’s length. He won’t miss me. This was how she made it better, how she reassured herself. Nell noted that she should visit him in a few days when she hoped she’d feel better. Because she would feel better, right? This constant anxiety and fatigue couldn’t stay forever. But right now, it seemed that way, because she was going over and over every regret and mistake and everything she did wrong and all the reasons why she couldn’t accept that she’d gotten off so easily. Why couldn’t she accept that she deserved it? After everything she’d been through, killing her mother couldn’t really compare. And besides, even though Nell didn’t think about it, it had been a mercy kill. The woman was living a half-life, and by then she’d become a wretched creature who probably didn’t even want to live herself. It was hard thinking about these things, and it was the most prominent cause of the sick feeling in her stomach.
She was disturbed from her thoughts with the rapping at her door, and noticed that Pablo had since moved on when she’d lapsed into a reverie. Nell stretched and yawned before getting it, and any negative thoughts that had been going on in her mind before then stopped short. Nell couldn’t remember a more awkward moment in her life. And she tried. Nothing was coming. She couldn’t say she was fond of the man that stood before her—he’d kicked out her boyfriend because of the fact that she was a murder (and rightfully so, she regretfully admitted). But she didn’t want to say she hated him or anything like that. Even though she wasn’t necessarily raised by her parents, she did have respect for her elders that came from her efforts of being a generally pleasant person. Even if she didn’t like Donovan, she wouldn’t say it. That was rude. ”Oh,” she said once she registered the shock. ”How are you, Mr. Dale?” Her smile was pleasant as ever, and her behavior cordial, of course. Nell had manners, and she knew how to display them.
She moved to the side and would have otherwise thought it funny that she was used to seeing him in his huge, expensive mansion and yet she was now looking at him standing in her humble apartment building downtown. ”Uh…sure. Why don’t you come in?” God, this was weird, inviting him int oher home. What did he want to talk about? What would he say? It made her anxious to think about, and that was just like piling all up inside of her. At least his presence could distract her from other negative thoughts, because now she was focused on how he shouldn’t be here in his apartment—Donovan was the wolf in a flock of sheep. Her apartment was always clean and immaculate, but nowhere near as grand as his home. And this was where his son had been living for months. Does he know? Trish knew, a given since she was providing her son with money, and that made her wonder… First, though, she had other pleasantries to go through. ”Can I get you anything?” Her smile was easy, even though she was now nervous on top of everything else. Nell felt then that it would be a good idea to question the man. ”How did you find out where I live?” It wasn’t spoken as a suspcion, she was just curious and it showed in her eyes.
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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Nov 18, 2011 18:52:48 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width:380px; height:200px; background-image: url(http://i584.photobucket.com/albums/ss283/amostprofoundseduction/paper1.jpg); padding:3px 10px 10px 10px; border-radius: 30px 30px 0px 0px; -moz-border-radius: 30px 30px 0px 0px;] I'M NOTHING BUT A TIN MAN, DON'T FEEL ANY PAIN. rusted from the rain,
I STUMBLE THROUGH THE WRECKAGE, RUSTED FROM THE RAIN. THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO SALVAGE, NO ONE LEFT TO BLAME. AMONG THE BROKEN MIRRORS, I DON'T LOOK THE SAME - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - . Donovan was not expecting a good reaction from the girl. Honestly, who would have? He understood that in accusing his son that he was dating a cold-blooded killer the information and possibly even the words used may have gotten back to the girl at some point. Much as the man hated to admit when he was wrong he knew that she had every right to be pissed off. If, that is, they made the correct verdict in assuming her innocent. He didn't know all the details of the trial, just the results. It wasn't like it had been taped and put on the television after all. There's no use dwelling on that. They had found her innocent and so she was going to be seen as innocent--by his wife, by his friends, by his son. He couldn't allow this to continue causing its rift in his family. That did not make him feel better about this as the door opened. She sounded completely pleasant and he had the split-second irrational thought about murderers luring victims into their apartments before he convinced himself (thankfully) that he was being an idiot.
How was he? How the hell was he supposed to be? His son had walked out on him. You kicked him out. The thought bit at the back of his mind. It was true, but in order to save himself from all the blame he kept insisting that he'd allowed Joshua to make a choice. And he'd chose. And it hadn't been his family. Ugh, he was regretting this decision more and more by the second. If he'd thought all of this out before he'd knocked on the door he could have simply changed his mind and walked away but Donovan was not like that. He was suave, professional, even dressed to impress as usual. He did not run from things just because they were an inconvenience or he'd never be able to run a hospital. "I could be better," he replied instead, though it did not sound bitter. Neutral, more like. Father and son were indefinitely similar. "And you?" he returned. I'm sure she's just brilliant, Donovan, given what she's been through.
If it was weird for the girl to invite him in it was even stranger to be invited in to the home of this girl whom he'd once been completely pleasant toward and then turned on in favour of some rumours he'd heard. "Thank you," he said politely in any case, stepping inside. Jesus it was small. He was not used to cramped spaces like this and the fact that it was a studio apartment only enhanced things. There wasn't even a single bedroom in this place? There was only one bed, too, which made him wonder with a moment of awkwardness where his son was sleeping and if they slept... well, together. Because they were together and he was positive that Joshua was not as innocent as he sometimes came across with his never bringing any girls over to the house. "I'm alright, thank you," he said with that same formality he'd kept up since the beginning. He probably could have used a drink to ease up the dryness in his throat but that would just be too weird.
Well. There was an awkward question. Should he lie? There was simply the fact that he had no idea what to tell her. He could blame it on Josh out of spite but wasn't sure if Nell would believe him. "My, er, my wife may have informed me of your address." He hoped that Nell didn't hold it against Trish or anything. She really had just been trying to help out in her own way, even if she tended to frown and hold her higher opinion over other peoples heads when trying to get what she wanted from them. She did it to Joshua a lot, too, guilt tripping him into things that he normally wouldn't do. "I owe you an apology," he sighed at last, figuring it was best to just... get it over with. There was no use dawdling around and waiting for the words to speak themselves. Be a man about it. He was never going to get his son back if he didn't start repairing the loose threads in their relationship. "I jumped to conclusions rather quickly and I..." God damn it, why was it so hard to just own up to a mistake? Pride was a bitter, evil thing. "I'm sorry," he said, and though it sounded forced it was at least genuine. "Your... aunt informed me of... things." Things. Yeah. That was one way to put it. "Does she have something against you?"
GO ON CRUSH ME LIKE A FLOWER, RUSTED FROM THE RAIN. COME ON STRIP ME OF MY POWER, BEAT ME WITH YOUR CHAINS. AND IF I'M THE KING OF COWARDS, YOU'RE THE QUEEN OF PAIN - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - . |
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Post by NELL DOE DALE on Nov 18, 2011 23:08:30 GMT -5
Nell nodded her head when he said that he could be better. She didn’t pity him, but she felt for the man. Even though she really didn’t know where she stood with him. He thinks I'm a murderer. ”I’m sorry to hear that,” she said sympathetically, and not just for manners’ sake. She may have felt very awkward around this man, but she didn’t want him to be suffering from any sort of problems. I wonder how he feels about Josh right now? She wondered, but she wouldn’t ask. She wasn’t about to push her way into a relationship like that, and she never was one to ask questions about others’ personal lives. Even if it was her boyfriend’s father. Especially because it was her boyfriend’s father. ”I’m holding up all right,” she told him, also not going into detail about that. Apparently, neither of them were doing too well, and it was strange sympathizing with the man she knew her boyfriend wasn’t on the best of terms with. Did he know what happened with the trial? She didn’t ask him, because she wanted to avoid throwing in some extra awkwardness to the situation. Even though it itched at the back of her mind, she kept it silent.
Self-conscious even though she didn’t know what Donovan was thinking of her apartment, she felt like she was under some kind of inspection. The man just had that kind of air, it seemed. However, it didn’t cross her mind about the single bed thing, more consumed with nervousness about the fact she wondered if he thought of her as a cold-blooded murderer. She knew, even with the verdict, there would still be people out there who doubted her. And that hurt. Nell always wanted to be someone viewed as reliable, as stable and personable. The murderer stigma would haunt her, she knew. She nodded when he declined her offer. Ever so awkward, she sat on the futon and gestured to the couch. ”Please, sit down, make yourself at home.” She nearly had to restrain the hysterical laughter—Donovan making himself at home in this place? It was comical, to say the least. If she were in a better mood, she might have had less control over it.
Donovan explained where he’d come across her address. ”Oh,” she said, the epiphany clear on her face. She didn’t mind the fact that Trish had given the address to her husband, but she did have to wonder why. Nell didn’t linger too long on that, however, in favor of asking, ”How is Mrs. Dale?” The girl didn’t like to think it, but she liked the woman more than her husband at the moment because she believed Josh over Jane. It may have had nothing to do with her, but it was always a good feeling to know that some people wouldn’t believe Jane. She was rather stunned to hear the next words from his mouth. Almost blank in expression, she stared at him. Nell had not been expecting this. But past the shock, she felt touched that he would come here just to apologize, and her lips twitched into a smile. ”Thank you,” Nell said softly, her lips twitching into a small smile. ”It means a lot to me.” It was nice to know that he no longer thought of her as a murderer. Because that’s what this meant, right? With a tilt of her head, she wondered, ”So I suppose you…heard the verdict?” She couldn’t imagine what else could have spurred him to this, and so she figured that he watched the American news.
Then he brought up Jane, and the usual sick feeling in her stomach was replaced with one of triumph. The news that she’d been arrested lifted both her and her father’s moods when it came to the trial. If they were closer, they might have high-fived and celebrated. ”Jane? Of course she did,” Nell said wryly, shaking her head. ”She lied about…a lot.” More like everything, and unfortuantely, she was a pretty good liar. Nell didn’t really blame Donovan for believing her aunt. He inquired after a vendetta, and her smile was unenthusiastic. ”My mother was uh…her sister,” she explained, growing more awkward in mentioning her mother. That sould be explanation enough. ”I take it you and Jane acquainted? How do you know her?” This didn’t feel like a question with which to pry, since the woman was a relative of hers.
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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Nov 19, 2011 4:52:23 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width:380px; height:200px; background-image: url(http://i584.photobucket.com/albums/ss283/amostprofoundseduction/paper1.jpg); padding:3px 10px 10px 10px; border-radius: 30px 30px 0px 0px; -moz-border-radius: 30px 30px 0px 0px;] I'M NOTHING BUT A TIN MAN, DON'T FEEL ANY PAIN. rusted from the rain,
I STUMBLE THROUGH THE WRECKAGE, RUSTED FROM THE RAIN. THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO SALVAGE, NO ONE LEFT TO BLAME. AMONG THE BROKEN MIRRORS, I DON'T LOOK THE SAME - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - . He spoke his usual polite words of thanks as he sat down, still feeling like a fish out of water in this foreign place. He tried not to look down upon Nell--he was trying to be better about this, really--but it was hard to feel at 'home' in a place that could probably fit in one room of yours. The mansion was the picture of extravagance and grandeur thanks to Donovan's money and Patricia's eye for design. Nell's apartment was the exact opposite. He still couldn't get over the fact that Joshua had taken up residence here. Much as he hated the fact that Patricia had been stubbornly going behind his back, hadn't she been giving him money? He could have gotten his own apartment that was bigger than this, couldn't he have? Unless, and it was back to the awkward theory again, he was staying with Nell for other reasons, too. I forced him into this. It was an uncomfortable burden to bear. Had he regretted kicking his son out? Oh, yes. Pride wouldn't let him own up to it but a house without Joshua in it was a strange one.
It still surprised him sometimes when Patricia was addressed formally rather than as 'Trish' or just her first name in it's entirety--she was such a sociable person that she insisted upon it most of the time. He recovered quickly and replied, "She's doing well," he half-lied. He couldn't tell with Patricia half the time because one day she'd seem fine and professional, the next cold and icy toward him. A lot of it had to do with reminders, he knew. If something about Josh or the trial came up she shut her friendly self down around him and started in on the childish but effective silent treatment. He would eventually ask and it all snowballed from there. She was a sneaky woman. He loved her, but he had to admit. "She sends her regards, I'm sure." Trish liked Nell. Trish apparently believed Nell, too, though Donovan was not sure whether it was trust in Nell or hatred for Jane that had influenced that decision. "I believe she's with our son now," he said. But she'd know, wouldn't she? he realised. He lives here. Donovan did not mention that it was intentional. No use to make the pair of them sound like sneaks.
The apology was well-recieved at least, which took a bit of the weight from his chest. He knew that he was doing this more for the sake of his son than for Nell but that didn't mean he wanted ill feelings between the two of them forever after. It would be rather awkward if Joshua and Nell ended up staying together in the years to come and he was shunted aside as a parent because he'd never taken the time to make amends. The longer you left things, the less sincere an apology turned out to be. He had habits of leaving things until it was much too late and he supposed he had his wife to thank for stopping him this time. "I did," he admitted. Even if I hadn't, you're sitting here. If there were any doubts... "It seems I was wrong about you," he further acknowledged, wincing ever so slightly. God, that was a tough pill to swallow. Being wrong about anything was terrible but admitting that accusations of cold-blooded murder had been ill-placed was even more of a bitch. She's still a murderer, he almost tried to justify, but stopped. No, being stubborn wouldn't help him now.
Having heard Jane painted in a bad light by quite a few people by now, Donovan was being forced into the uncomfortable realisation that he may have trusted her too easily. Taking her word for it apparently hadn't been the best way to go. "Patricia and I attended the Academy with her," he said. He didn't know whether Nell was aware of this or not, whether Joshua had known any of it and told her or perhaps Patricia had slipped a hint. He felt that it was best to clarify just in case. "She was a good acquaintance of mine." Meaning he had almost gotten along with her. Certainly enough to place his trust in her for a very large thing. Joshua will not forgive this easily. He and his son were always at odds about something or other but this was a little more serious than was usual for the pair. "Jane would have me believe that what happened was no accident," he said. "If it was wrong of me to trust this woman I suppose I'll take your word for it that it was." Well, Nell hadn't told him directly but he'd heard it from Trish, who'd heard it from Josh, who, well, you get the point.
GO ON CRUSH ME LIKE A FLOWER, RUSTED FROM THE RAIN. COME ON STRIP ME OF MY POWER, BEAT ME WITH YOUR CHAINS. AND IF I'M THE KING OF COWARDS, YOU'RE THE QUEEN OF PAIN - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - . |
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Post by NELL DOE DALE on Nov 19, 2011 19:59:19 GMT -5
Even though Nell was fond of Josh’s mother, she still felt the need to respectfully regard her as ‘Mrs. Dale’ when speaking to her husband. ”That’s good,” she commented, and she did feel happy about that even though she didn’t feel happy within herself. There was always this sick feeling in her stomach that she couldn’t get rid of, and an overwhelming anxiety that she couldn’t place. Sleep helped her escape these things, so that’s why she chose to do that now lately instead of living with her ugly emotions. ”Well then, tell her I said hi,” she said genially, as if there was nothing weighing on her shoulders. Not even her friends could tell their was something wrong, so she was certain Donovan had no clue. Didn’t matter, anyway. All she could focus on was how much she wanted to curl up into the fetal position under her nice, warm covers. But that wouldn’t be at all polite, now would it? ”Mhmm,” she responded, oblivious to the fact that Trish had lured her son away from the apartment. Not that she would have cared that the woman had intentionally done so that Donovan could speak with her alone—it was her family, and she could do what she wanted.
It was rather nice to hear Donovan say that he was wrong, but it didn’t fill her with triumph or anything like that. She wasn’t a proud person. She simply accepted it, and moved on. It was easy for her to forgive, and she’d already done that with Donovan. However, one person she could never forgive was Jane, and conversation about her was easier knowing that she was behind bars. It was strange, knowing that Jane had ties with her boyfriend’s parents. Surreal, even. ”Ah,” she said. ”Mrs. Dale said that she didn’t like Jane very much.” Nell guessed that’s why she didn’t buy into her lies. She didn’t talk too much about Jane’s acquaintances when she went to school with the woman, they mainly just made barely-veiled swipes at each other while her father sat idly by as if he didn’t know what was going on. He was good at ignoring things, but she found that she couldn’t even be mad at him anymore. Nell didn’t know exactly how she felt about him, and was in the process of ignoring him now in a way that could be considered revenge. But that wasn’t what she was aiming for, she had enough of revenge.
”Well, uh, I guess since you were good acquaintances of hers you’d like to know that she was arrested.” That was how much of a liar Jane could be—she was more of a criminal than Nell could ever aspire to be. ”Racketeering charges. She was taken in by Interpol before crossing the border.” She wasn’t saying this to rub it in and show how wrong Donovan was in trusting the woman. Nell just figured that since the two had gotten along, Donovan would like to know where she had gotten herself to. But she did enjoy telling the story about how her aunt was brought down, probably because she was focusing too much of her attention on her niece. Nell wondered what would have happened had her aunt not gotten arrested, and guessed that she wouldn’t be here talking to Donovan right now. Jane had been one of her biggest contenders, and she had no doubt that she wouldn’t have made it had the woman testified.
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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Nov 19, 2011 20:38:48 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width:380px; height:200px; background-image: url(http://i584.photobucket.com/albums/ss283/amostprofoundseduction/paper1.jpg); padding:3px 10px 10px 10px; border-radius: 30px 30px 0px 0px; -moz-border-radius: 30px 30px 0px 0px;] I'M NOTHING BUT A TIN MAN, DON'T FEEL ANY PAIN. rusted from the rain,
I STUMBLE THROUGH THE WRECKAGE, RUSTED FROM THE RAIN. THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO SALVAGE, NO ONE LEFT TO BLAME. AMONG THE BROKEN MIRRORS, I DON'T LOOK THE SAME - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - . 'Didn't like Jane' was a massive understatement, at least according to the argument he'd had with his wife following the news about Jane and Nell. Patricia was a scary little thing when she was upset with you and through the yelling and finger jabbing and accusations he'd definitely picked up on the fact that the old grudge Trish had against Jane was in no danger of fading even after all of these years. "I am... informed," he admitted. Josh hated her too, according to Patricia. He'd been treated to a nice little spiel about how he had terrible judgement for trusting a woman that had attacked their son and he'd just brushed it off and assured himself the attack had been justified so he wouldn't have to deal with the consequences otherwise. He knew from experience that the boy could get rather volatile and violent with his tempers, after all. He had been convinced that Joshua had attacked Jane for trying to spread the truth about the woman he'd fallen in love with. Convinced that Nell had manipulated his boy into being blinded by affections. I was wrong about that, too. Had the fight been justified after all? No, no, he couldn't deal with all of that pressure at the moment. He needed to focus on this meeting with Nell in the hopes that everything worked out for the better. "My wife has better judgement of people than I, from my experience."
Donovan did not know well enough to realise that her intentions with the next words were clear ones. The knowledge that Jane was in jail, that she was the convicted criminal, was like a slap to the face after all of this. The final nail in the already buried coffin, really. "Ah," he said a little awkwardly, not meeting the girl's eyes for a moment. Well, then. Nell walked free whereas the woman who had convinced him she was a cold-hearted bitch was behind bars in another country. Wasn't that quite the turn of events? He knew that Joshua was infuriated with him and this certainly hadn't helped matters, he was sure. "We were never close," he said, and he was starting to feel glad about that. He could have ended up in worse places if he'd chosen to closely associate himself with a criminal. That was why he'd been so worried about Josh hanging around Nell. It would tarnish his reputation and that of the family. Apparently Joshua did not give a damn about all of that. "It seems that I have even less reason to trust her." He couldn't be bothered trying to find reasons to justify himself. There probably weren't any.
And thus they had come full circle and back to the very reason that Donovan had been pushed into this--Joshua. He wanted his son back and this girl was a barrier standing in the way of that. It was hard to think of someone so sweet of appearance (and demeanour, though that could have been a ruse) could have so much of an impact on the son he'd raised but he had given up trying to understand it. The point was that it had happened and there was no going back, now. "And my son," he asked hesitantly after a long pause, "is he... alright?" It felt strange to be expressing a father's concern when (and he was sure Nell was aware) he had chucked the boy out of the house but he could not help himself for asking. He worried about Josh a lot, worried about how he was handling things. Anger did not omit any parental instincts, after all. "He refuses to speak to me for... reasons that I suppose are entirely justified." It felt like a marathon of admitting defeat today.
GO ON CRUSH ME LIKE A FLOWER, RUSTED FROM THE RAIN. COME ON STRIP ME OF MY POWER, BEAT ME WITH YOUR CHAINS. AND IF I'M THE KING OF COWARDS, YOU'RE THE QUEEN OF PAIN - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - . |
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Post by NELL DOE DALE on Nov 20, 2011 0:25:23 GMT -5
Nell’s lips twitched into a small smile at his words. ”Well, Jane is nice to the people she likes,” she said in a placating tone. It was true, at least. She wasn’t an entirely evil, manipulative…woman. At least, Nell chose not to think so. Her aunt was pleasant enough to anyone she liked being around, but that also didn’t make her a better person. She was a criminal, and a liar, and Nell came very close to being incarcerated thanks to her. The girl may not have been able to forgive Jane, but she was able to see that no one was completely bad through and through. Besides, she was sure there may have been something off with her aunt that no one had ever addressed. She wasn’t sure, though, and she’d rather not think about her family’s history of mental illness. ”She just fell into a bad crowd.” She almost smirked at those words, but they were true enough. That ‘bad crowd’ was the Sinclair family, actually, but she didn’t mention that. Nell may have been comfortable enough discussing a woman that they both knew and that she did not like, but the rest of her family was kept quiet.
She tilted her head when Donovan said that they were never close. She couldn’t really imagine anyone being close to Jane, but she knew that was only her bitterness speaking—the woman did have quite a few husbands, after all. ”That’s good,” she said, meaning that Donovan wouldn’t miss her much and because he avoided whatever she’d gotten into. It would be rather difficult if they’d been good friends or something and she’d ended up in jail. Of course, she didn’t think Jane would keep in touch with too many people, but who knows. Nell realized that she’d never learned much about her mother’s sister, and she was actually glad for that. She didn’t really want to know anything about her family that she so despised. The girl didn’t want Donovan to feel bad about believing Jane, but she wasn’t even aware of what he felt, really. He was a lot like his son in the way that he was hard to read.
Nell didn’t really know what Donovan wanted to be told about his son. She was very aware of the fact that Josh was far from fond, but now that the trial was over and done with and the man had come to her and apologize. ”I should hope so,” she said. ”I think it was pretty difficult for him...” The rest could be inferred, and she didn’t want to bring any more awkwardness into the conversation by bringing up the fact that being kicked out by his father was hard to deal with. And hearing that Josh hadn’t been talking to him twisted the knife of guilt into her gut, even though she should have been over that by now. Donovan had apologized, but she didn’t know what he thought of her, still. And she guessed that she’d have to live with it, because there were a whole bunch of people out there who were judging her. If she focused on that, she’d feel even worse. ”I’ll…I’ll tell him you came by,” she told him, somewhat nervous. ”I think he’d appreciate it.” At least, she hoped so. Nell didn’t want their relationship to be like this, especially since it had essentially been her fault. She wanted the men to repair everything that happened between each other.
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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Nov 20, 2011 1:31:51 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width:380px; height:200px; background-image: url(http://i584.photobucket.com/albums/ss283/amostprofoundseduction/paper1.jpg); padding:3px 10px 10px 10px; border-radius: 30px 30px 0px 0px; -moz-border-radius: 30px 30px 0px 0px;] I'M NOTHING BUT A TIN MAN, DON'T FEEL ANY PAIN. rusted from the rain,
I STUMBLE THROUGH THE WRECKAGE, RUSTED FROM THE RAIN. THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO SALVAGE, NO ONE LEFT TO BLAME. AMONG THE BROKEN MIRRORS, I DON'T LOOK THE SAME - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - . Patricia's phone was frequently a distraction from their little coffee outings. It was a known thing by now and so Joshua just nodded calmly when she gave him an apologetic look and sipped his coffee as he waited for her to return. She had 'the look' on her face when she did, rather quickly, and he instantly knew that their meeting would cut off there. "I'll see you again soon, Mum," he told her, standing before she could explain. They embraced briefly and Patricia kissed his cheek before hurrying out of the crowded coffee shop. Josh left more slowly, taking the time to order a box of donuts before he departed. He had to resist the temptation to reach into the box as he drove back to Nell's, knowing that it was a bad idea to eat whilst he was driving. Josh had pretty good control over the wheel but there was a reason such things were illegal. He tucked the box under one arm as he pressed the buttons for the elevator, not bothering with the stairs today. He was amazed that the old thing didn't stall him on his way up and he was in a relatively cheerful mood when he got stepped inside.
"Hey, babe," Joshua greeted his girlfriend, wrapping arm arm around her waist as he drew close and pulling her into a gentle but lingering kiss. He knew that Nell was going through an ordeal with the trial but they were still in a relationship, which meant that he should at least be allowed these small pleasures. He hoped that over time if they could just go on as normal, whatever had broken would be fixed and the balance of their old life would be restored. It was almost ironic to think that things had been easier before the conclusion of the trial. He did not blame her for the change. She'd been through a lot. Pulling away from the kiss and sliding his arm back, he gave her a warm smile. "What were you up to?" When he'd left she'd just been playing around with the cat and so he wasn't sure if she'd switched to something like origami or sleeping when he'd been gone. He hadn't been gone for too long, maybe around an hour, but you never knew. There was a part of him that hoped she might have been making food for herself or getting ready to go out with friends but it was only a small part. He realised how unlikely it was.
Setting the box of donuts on the kitchen counter, he took one of the jelly-filled ones. With his unoccupied hand he gestured to the sugary treats. "Help yourself," he said in his usual calm, amiable tone that he reserved for Nell and very close friends. If he were to pretend like nothing was wrong then he had to make sure he 'didn't know' about her odd change in mood lately. As long as he managed to keep himself from slipping up he could drop subtle hints about things like food or experiences like prom and it would be a lot safer than outright confronting her. Joshua was assertive and had a dominant personality but it was not his intentions to be controlling. He was doing this because he wanted to look out for Nell rather than make her bend to his will. They wouldn't have clicked nearly as well if they hadn't been so relaxed around one another, after all. He didn't think he would like to be forced into things if he were in her position but he also knew he'd later be thankful for anyone that influenced him to eat and keep himself in a good state. "Any plans for today?" This was a normal question he asked when hanging around her, in case there was anything specific she planned to do.
GO ON CRUSH ME LIKE A FLOWER, RUSTED FROM THE RAIN. COME ON STRIP ME OF MY POWER, BEAT ME WITH YOUR CHAINS. AND IF I'M THE KING OF COWARDS, YOU'RE THE QUEEN OF PAIN - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - . |
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Post by NELL DOE DALE on Nov 20, 2011 3:29:16 GMT -5
After Donovan left, Nell had returned to playing with Pablo, trying to think of the best way to tell Josh that his father had stopped by today. She couldn’t help but wonder how her boyfriend would feel about that? “Hey, guess who came to my humble abode this fine, magnificent day? And I’ll give you a hint: it wasn’t the Pope.” She just couldn’t think of a way to tell him. Should she even be fretting about this? It wasn’t like Donovan had done something horrible, no matter how unexpected it was. In fact, the apology was a nice gesture, and hopefully in telling Josh he would understand that his father wanted to make amends. Right? All she knew was that she wanted to help in fixing things, because of how much guilt she felt whenever she considered the fact that she’d been the cause of a rift in an otherwise put-together family. Of course, it was both Josh and his father’s decisions to do what they’d done, but they wouldn’t have needed to make those decisions if it weren’t for her. Because she was a murderer. That would lead to less-than-pleasant thoughts, she knew.
Luckily, Josh came in at that moment and she dropped the string on the floor so the cat could play around with it. She stood to greet him with a, ”Hi,” not bothered by being called ‘babe’, even though her boyfriend didn’t use the term often. She was even less bothered by the warm reception, returning the kiss as she felt his arm around her. That meant he couldn’t sense anything was off, right? She liked to pretend that everything was fine, and that she was perfectly happy, so to know that Josh wasn’t affected by it made her proud. Hopefully Josh simply chalked it up to extended jetlag. ”Still with Pablo,” she said, smiling down at the cat. ”I’ve discovered he likes string more than Spanish lessons, so I’m giving him a break.” A short break, of course, since she’d soon return to offering him treats so he would meow what could either be interpreted as “Me llamo Pablo,” or “Feed me, strange woman.” ”How is your mom?” she asked, even though it was something that she’d also asked Donovan. Nell just wanted to know how the meeting went. Mr. Dale. Now how was she going to bring that up?
Her normal reaction to donuts would be, “All right!” However, she didn’t think that her unenthusiastic reply would be any hint to Josh that something was wrong. ”I’m good for now,” she simply said. She didn’t think that by turning it down she was proving any point. There were times when she didn’t need to be hungry, right? Usually, it wasn’t so often, but it helped protect her ideal that she was handling everything well enough that her boyfriend didn’t have to be bothered by it. ”Nah, not really,” Nell told him, waving her hand. She had texted a few friends but she hadn’t offered to go out today. It was an off-day in a chain of off-days, but she just chose to isolate it to make her feel better. ”Uhm…something I didn’t plan happened today, actually,” she said, tactful as a stampede of elephants. ”Your father stopped by. He apologized for…you know, assuming I was a cold-blooded murder and all that.” She looked at him hopefully, as if this could make it all better and heal all wounds.
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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Nov 20, 2011 3:48:22 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width:380px; height:200px; background-image: url(http://i584.photobucket.com/albums/ss283/amostprofoundseduction/paper1.jpg); padding:3px 10px 10px 10px; border-radius: 30px 30px 0px 0px; -moz-border-radius: 30px 30px 0px 0px;] I'M NOTHING BUT A TIN MAN, DON'T FEEL ANY PAIN. rusted from the rain,
I STUMBLE THROUGH THE WRECKAGE, RUSTED FROM THE RAIN. THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO SALVAGE, NO ONE LEFT TO BLAME. AMONG THE BROKEN MIRRORS, I DON'T LOOK THE SAME - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - . Despite knowing that Nell was going through a lot, Joshua couldn't deny that it felt damn good to kiss her, to feel her lips against his as his brain took a temporary nosedive and he felt the familiar rush. He had to suppress his train of thought to keep it from suggesting what this gesture could have led to if they were in a more intimate relationship but he didn't have too much trouble doing that today. He was getting better at the divert and deflect tactics, though of course cold showers could always remedy almost anything. "I often find myself distracted by random bits of string when undergoing language lessons as well," he said quite seriously. "He and I can relate." His brand of humour was often hard to become accustomed to but he trusted Nell to recognise it by now. He was not the only one in the world that had such a sense of humour (Nell's father came to mind) but that didn't mean it was any easier to detect if you were still getting to know him. He had a pretty good poker face from years of telling people that everything was just fine and dandy in his life and there was nothing that he had to be worried about.
He frowned. Joshua was not quite sure how his mother had been. She'd acted normal for the most part but she'd also seemed a tad bit distracted. Not quite nervous, just not focusing on the conversation as much as usual. He'd chalked it up to stress at work--he'd seen her that way before when she was experiencing some sort of crisis in her career or anticipating an upcoming conference or event that she had to attend. "She was alright," he said. "She told me to tell you hello." Patricia had confessed knowing the verdict of the trial and having used her influence to get a little more than just 'guilty' or 'not guilty' as she'd been curious to know how Nell had pulled it off. Trish had certainly been more than pleased when Joshua had told her that Jane Sinclair had been arrested. She'd actually smacked the table in triumph, causing even the rigid and stoic Joshua to blink in mild alarm. "We had to cut it short, though," he explained so she knew why he was back early. "Her phone rang--work, probably."
Nell might not have thought she was being obvious but he definitely noticed that she didn't react to the donuts as she would have usually. Like he'd been learning to do lately he did not act as if anything was out of the ordinary, merely giving her a smile. "Alright. I'll leave you some, though. I'm not that much of a sugar whore." Well, he was, but Nell was his girlfriend. The stash was always hers to share as long as she promised not to completely polish it off when he wasn't looking. Good friends were granted access. Restricted access, but access nonetheless. Annabel had a free pass. Anyone else and they'd get holes bored in their skull via magnificent death glare.
He nearly choked on the bite of donut at the news. "What?" he demanded loudly after a mild coughing fit, emerging with his hand held over his aching chest and his cheeks tinged with red from the pressure. He had not been expecting that at all and it filled him with a dark sort of anger. His father. Donovan. Here. It felt like he had trespassed, crossed some invisible line that was not meant to even be toed. "It's a bit late for that, isn't it?" Joshua's voice had gone cold, his previously cheery mood vanishing at the drop of a hat. He couldn't believe the gall of his father. "He's lucky I wasn't here or I'd have--" Joshua broke off abruptly. "Lucky." His features slipped into a deeper scowl. Nice going, mother. He had always known Patricia to be crafty but he was feeling oddly betrayed by what she'd done to him. It hurt to know she'd lured him out. "What else did he say?"
GO ON CRUSH ME LIKE A FLOWER, RUSTED FROM THE RAIN. COME ON STRIP ME OF MY POWER, BEAT ME WITH YOUR CHAINS. AND IF I'M THE KING OF COWARDS, YOU'RE THE QUEEN OF PAIN - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - . |
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