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Post by xmarci on Sept 13, 2011 19:37:15 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:0px; padding-right:0px; padding-bottom:0px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] Deirdra Rosewood my soul is on fire, a shot in the dark - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The day had been very interesting. To start it off, Deirdra had somehow made herself spend time alone with a boy she barely knew. That was a step forward. Or back, depending on who you asked. For the most part, his presence had been enjoyable, but there had been times.... Bad times. When he'd lost her, she hadn't been angry at him. She hadn't thought any bad thoughts concerning how he'd broken his promise. That sort of thing didn't yet occur to the girl. No, she'd forgotten all about Ace, the boy who'd almost made her smile. Instead, her mind was filled with this...this new one. The one who touched her without asking and pressed himself close. He couldn't have realized that the fear that coursed through her went deeper than even she knew. He couldn't have realized the pain he brought up just with that degenerate tone of voice was almost impossible to bear.
But the one thing he could realize, the one thing Deirdra desperately needed to keep secret, was that this broken girl would be the easiest thing in the world to take advantage of.
If the panic had not been so close to her, Dee might have shrieked out loud when Ace showed up and laid the stranger out flat. A split second of clarity had the earth student admiring his physical prowess. But that did not last long. Soon, he had seized her hand and sped her off the way they had came, toward the exit. Too scared to do any different, Deirdra quietly and speedily followed, ducking her head and working internally to dispel the accumulating fear.
Ace had to spend some time after that with her, calming her down. Though she was not fully into an attack, she had lost her ability to speak for awhile. She shied away from his touch, turned to face to the wall, and listened to him speak to her. Once that ordeal was over, they continued about the town, trying to find things to entertain them. The scare kept any more smiles from gracing the young woman's lips, but she did lighten up a bit, and begin to show her curious side again. It wasn't a bad day. They simply had fun. Then, they looked at the time.
Too late to get back to the Academy. It might not have been if they had put gas in his bike before, but they had wandered pretty far away from it, and they would still have to get it to a gas station. As darkness fell, Deirdra felt easier. But Ace was giving off enough nerves for her not to be able to relax all the way. In the end, they headed to the hotel. Dee, as she had never been inside a hotel before, allowed Ace to take the lead, hanging back as soon as they entered the very large building. |
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Post by AMBER SAVANNAH JAMES AMBROSE on Sept 13, 2011 20:47:43 GMT -5
Today was a rather interesting day. More interesting than usuall, by a lot. He had somehow gotten to hang out with this pretty girl named Deirda, had his bike run out of gas in the middle of the road, then had the girl he was traveling with shout out that the bike didn't like her. Next he had journeyed to the mall with the same girl, showing her around. It was interesting, he bought her a toy, and then lost her only ten minutes later. He found her getting hit on by some jerk, he didn't even think when he saw her there hugging the wall. He promised her he would keep people away, and at that time he wasn't keeping that promise. Something in him raged and he punched the guy square in the face. Of course after that they ran, ran as fast as they could.
It was a really fun day, he stayed with her the whole day, plus they had nearly gotten lost. If it wasn't for Dee's amazing memory they would still have been wandering around for a while. At first though she seemed closed off to him, he noticed how she wouldn't hold onto his hand again. And how she didn't look directly at him when she spoke or when he spoke too her. It was probably a rough event that happened at the mall. But as the day dragged on she began to come back to him. Back to the way they were before the incident with the slime ball.
By the time they realized the time it was already too late to go back to school. So instead they wandered around, Ace putting on an air of knowing. He pretended he knew where he was heading so that he didn't worry Dee with the thought of them being lost. So they walked around until they had found a hotel, he pretended that it was his destination the one that he had been aiming for. The building was slightly bigger than the few buildings around it. It was wide and looked warm and inviting, it looked like a good place to stay for the night, so Ace went in and motioned for Dee to follow her.
Ace walked in and headed towards the reception desk. The lobby was spacious and warm, it was inviting.There was a tv hanging on the wall on it right now was spongebob. Though there were no children around he guessed that either the receptionist was lazy and didn't want to change the channel, or he liked spongebob. There was a coffee table, with a few magazines to entertain people who were waiting for cabs. Otherwise it looked like any other lobby of a hotel. He sighed stepping towards the receptionist, it was a long day and he was getting pretty tired. The guy looked at Ace, then at Dee, he raised an eyebrow "Do you want a room with thick walls?" The guy asked snobbily. Ace blinked, it took him a second to register, "What no!" Ace said shocked, "She's not my girlfriend." Ace said looking at the guy. The receptionist, named Joe, by his name tag , gave Ace a grin "So you don't need a girlfriend for that bud." Ace shook his head, "No she's my," Ace thought for a second, "my sister."
"You don't look related."
"I'm Adopted."
"Sure you are buddy."
Ace was tired of this, "Look can we just get a room?" The guy shrugged and informed him of the price, Ace sighed and payed the man up front. Giving another shrug he handed Ace his room key.
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Post by xmarci on Sept 19, 2011 14:31:42 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:0px; padding-right:0px; padding-bottom:0px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] Deirdra Rosewood my soul is on fire, a shot in the dark - - - - - - - - - - - - - - As with any new place, the hotel made Deirdra a little uncomfortable. She eyed the strangers warily until Ace had gotten far enough away for her to notice. Then her legs took her forward, close behind him, so that she could feel his presence without actually touching him. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes and bowing her head. She didn't know it, but she was actually coming close to resting her forehead between his shoulders. It fell lower, lower, and then Ace reacted to the receptionist's words. The alarm in his voice startled her, and she jumped a little bit, eyes snapping open. Immediately, she took a step away from him. Then, feeling even more uncomfortable with the unconscious proximity, she turned away from him.
Still, Deirdra listened to the short conversation. Her naïve self didn't understand what they were talking about, and the foreign atmosphere kept her from appealing to Ace as to their meaning. She just looked at the ground, quietly, until Ace had their key and was walking toward the elevators. Like a submissive little puppy, she followed, a half a step behind him and to the side. She didn't speak until they were in the elevator, but then general anxiety started to overwhelm her. ”What did he mean?” It seemed that petting her little black cat only helped with mild fear. The closed in space made her fidgety, and it was not long until her left hand had moved to her right arm, rubbing up and down on the fabric of the bandage.
”We're not siblings.” She said, staring at the elevator door. It didn't seem to bother her, as though she didn't really think lying was a bad thing. But she didn't understand why he'd said that to the random person, and her curiosity seemed to break through no matter how anxious she was. By the time the elevator had hit their floor, her nails were dug into the bandage, and a bit of it was fraying. Closed spaces, trapped, trapped.....
Thankfully, the door opened because Dee lost control of herself. The earth girl almost leap out of it, briefly leaning on the far wall and breathing heavily. Elevators were bad. Bad, bad elevators. After a few seconds of pulling herself together, she allowed herself to be led to their room. No, Deirdra didn't have any idea what was going on. It was either showing a great amount of submission or a great amount of trust for her to let Ace just lead her around these places she knew nothing about. But he'd been around her all day, and he'd only helped her. Only been gentle. He wouldn't try to hurt her right now, would he? He was too happy to snap. Right?
Right.
Things might have gone differently if Ace hadn't been such a gentlemen. If he'd gone through the door into their room first, Dee might not have reacted as she did. She'd have been able to run. But as it was, he opened the door for her, and beckoned her inside. She was too busy staring at her little beanie baby to pay attention to what was before. And when she looked up....something happened.
The last thing she was lucidly aware of was the sound of her toy hitting the floor. Then she felt a rush of dizziniess. Her heart rate increased, her breathing began to quicken, and she was frozen, frozen to the spot. Then she heard the door close behind her. Then, she turned, slowly, to look at Ace. No, something wasn't right with her. She looked so scared, so, so frightened. Stunned. A few seconds passed, and she snapped. ”No!” She almost screamed, then scurried away from Ace, toward the nearest corner. She fell, hitting some part of herself on the wall, but she didn't care. She wasn't even aware of it.
Curling up, Deirdra started shaking, hyperventilating and whimpering. She couldn't control what she was saying, though the words seemed to pour out with force. ”This...this is not right. How the hell, how the hell, what the hell! Back here....I wasn't.... No, don't!” She choked, and as she fought to recover her breath her fist slammed against the wall. Soon, she was shouting, ”Disgusting, disgusting girl! Gross and ugly! Go away! Don't look at me!” And then, she made to slam her forehead against the wall.
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Post by AMBER SAVANNAH JAMES AMBROSE on Sept 19, 2011 15:03:08 GMT -5
Ace looked at the girl beside him in the elevator. When she asked what he meant Ace avoided her curious eyes. "Nothing, nothing at all." Ace said lying. He didn't want to say what the guy said, and then translate that so she could understand that. For one it might give Dee the wrong impression of him. That after saving her he brought her to the hotel for her to repay him? No that wasn't Ace, he was a gentleman or he tried to be at least. And that was just not something someone like him would do. "He was just teasing." Ace included, hoping she wouldn't inquire further on the subject. He looked down at her arm and it was rubbing up and down on the bandage. He was going to go and grab it but something looked wrong in her eyes. Like she was, anxious.
Ace nodded at her comment "True but I lied so he would stop bugging me and just give us the room key." He said with a shrug. he turned his attention to the doors as the elevator dinged. It signaled their arrival at the floor and the doors opened. When they did, Dee seemed to have bolted out of the elevator which raised a questionable look from Ace. "Dee you okay?" He asked concerned as he stepped out of the elevator. The doors closed behind him and he could hear it start it's journey upwards to fetch another customer. When she seemed to be alright Ace led her to the room. He looked at the numbers, counting in his head. "Here it is," Ace mused out loud. He slid the key in and opened the door holding it out for her.
Ace closed the door and locked it. When he did, he turned hearing a the small thump as Dee's toy fell to the ground. "Dee?" He asked moving towards her. Then her scream, or almost scream, either way it was loud enough to make Ace jump. "Dee?" He asked more concerned but she still scurried away. He moved and picked up her toy quickly as a boxer could duck down. She was in the corner, she fell and must have hit something because he heard the thump. Shit now she was scaring him again. No he wasn't going to let this happen like last time, he wasn't going to slap her. He took a deep breath and walked slowly towards her his hands up.
He moved closer. She wasn't making any sense. "Dee, it's only me I won't hurt you I swear." He said calmly. He moved closer and went down onto his knees so he could try and look her in the eye. "Dee, calm down." He said gently. Then when she went to slam her head against the wall he moved in between them, and she headbutted him in the chest. He let out a breath. "Damn." he mumbled, then he wrapped his strong arms around her, gently holding onto her. She was having a panic attack, he had some experience in that field. So he did what his sister would do, He held her and whispered to her. "No Dee your a beautiful girl, you look amazing, I swear it's the truth no matter what anyone says." Ace whispered as he held her stroking her hair. He shared his warmth with her, and he lent his strength too. He whispered "Dee in my arms you will always be safe, in my arms, I'll protect you as best I can." He had another one of those feelings again, the same one he had earlier today, but this time he blamed it on the pain from the headbutt he received.
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Post by xmarci on Sept 19, 2011 19:09:02 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:0px; padding-right:0px; padding-bottom:0px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] Deirdra Rosewood my soul is on fire, a shot in the dark - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 'Deirdra, what.... What do you think of when that happens?'
'I don't think. I see things, and hear things, and feel things, and say things. But I don't think.'
Dee? No one ever called her that. It wasn't her name, and she'd never answered to it before today. Very faintly, she heard him. His voice brushed past her as if he'd aimed at her from afar and been a little off the mark. What was a few seconds ago a voice that made her feel neither happy nor scared became something that made her freeze up inside. Frigid mental and emotional pain ran through her, and for those few seconds of silence, she was waiting, so sure that she was going to be touched. Somewhere, by something. But her skin started to crawl with the memories of things that had been done to her, and it was right when she was unable to handle it any longer that she snapped.
'I won't hurt you, I swear.'
The earth girl could no longer hear what her friend was saying. She was now hearing things, other things, other voices and other words. Her father's voice ran through her head like a razor, tearing her farther away from reality, reminding her of all her past experiences at his hands. There were...many. She began to hug herself tighter, her shaking body moving in reflexive twitches as if she was barely staying still while someone was touching her. A few whimpers passed through her lips, but she had to be quiet. He got excited, didn't he? When he heard her voice, he got excited. Thought she was her mother.
This got better, for a second. Her head hit something softer than the wall, and the pain brought her, gasping into reality. Sort of. She heard his curse, but his arms wrapping around her was too much. In her panicked state, she was halfway between smothering him in vines to get out of his hold or just letting him have his way with her. She couldn't decided between the instinct for survival and the conditioning of submission. Then, he spoke. His words were soft, his tone, a little desperate. And it did remind her again of her uncle. But even her uncle had a hard time when she was like this. He told her she was beautiful, but that was the wrong thing to say.
'Darling, beautiful Deirdra. Come to you father, I will make you see....'
”Ah!” It was half choke, half gasp, and a lot of pain. In a moment of desperate strength, Deirdra thrashed and broke Ace's hold on her, falling onto her back. As soon as she was down, she was crawling away and curled up five feet away. Tears now streaming down her face, she opened in mouth, gagging and choking. Then she stopped, finally managed to breath in, and began to run her mouth again. ”Don't, don't bring me here again. Don't touch me, you'll touch me.... He touched me, all over, over and over, over and over, over and--” She choked again, and hugged herself tighter.
"My flesh, my body, my mind. Using me, using me for pleasure.” Her voice trailed off, and she began to shake her head in an insane rhythm. Then, a few seconds into this, her back straightened and her fist hit the wall again. A throaty yell escaped her, and her eyes opened, though it didn't seem as though she could see the room around her. ”Why does the fire inside feel like pain! Might as well snuff it out, I'm better with nothing!” Then, after the moment of passion, she dissolved into tears again, folding in on herself.
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Post by AMBER SAVANNAH JAMES AMBROSE on Sept 19, 2011 19:35:31 GMT -5
Ace held her the best way he could, he held her so that she could lean on him, cry on him. But she could break through the hold if she needed too. He didn't want to hurt her, he didn't want to make her feel worse than she did now. He was freaking out right now, but his face hid it well. If she was able to look up at him, she'd see a calm gentle face. The same one he used when he patched her up, or when he spoke to a crying child. One that did it's best to try and make people feel not alone.
Dee's Screams might have woken up the neighbors, but at the moment Ace didn't give a damn if they tried to come in. He was concerned with his friend, the one who was having what seemed to be a panic attack in the room. He was doing his absolute best to try and calm her down. He was trying his best, and he was keeping his calm as best as he could. He whispered comfort in her ears, and he really wished he was a fire student and could radiate some heat, but he was a water, and right now water wouldn't do anyone any good.
She broke away from him, and crawled away, curling up on her self. She was crying, choking, sobbing. It hurt Ace, what was happening. He hated not knowing what was wrong. He hated being unable to do something right. He must have said something wrong. Someone must have hurt Dee, the way she said He touched me, all over, over and over. "No Dee I won't touch you like that. I swear, I just want to protect you!" He said desperately trying to get her to hear him.
Pleasure, Ace was familiar, but this, this was no pleasure. Seeing her like this, it, it hurt him. He was scared, but he was Superman, he had to be strong. Her head shook and Ace thought she would unscrew her head right off her neck. Then her sudden change in attitude scared him. What was wrong! It was so much worse than one of his. But he won't give up on her. He won't hurt her, he already promised her that. He took all his courage and he took the toy cat and placed it on one of her clenched hands. Then he hugged her, "Dee, I will never ever use you for pleasure, you are my friends. Friends don't do that to one another," Ace was bracing for getting hit or punched or kicked, he wanted her to know he wouldn't let her go, he wouldn't abandon her. "Dee your safe, your with me, your safe, I won't hurt you, I won't make you do anything you don't want to," He closed his eyes spoke softly. "Dee my friend, I will Always Protect you, Always keep you Safe."
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Post by xmarci on Sept 19, 2011 20:07:50 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:0px; padding-right:0px; padding-bottom:0px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] Deirdra Rosewood my soul is on fire, a shot in the dark - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Touching, touching, touching. Deirdra could hear the yelling, but she wasn't sure if it was real or not. She couldn't tell whether her own self was real, whether she was the quivering little girl inside of herself or whether she was the raging monster her father had wanted to turned her into. Or maybe she was what she pretended to be, what she felt like she was: nothing. Maybe little woman Deirdra was nothing, and would always be nothing. Protect? Would he protect her? What did protect mean? Her father had said he would protect her, protect her from what could be outside the walls of the basement. But he'd lied about very much.
What was it her uncle had told her? 'Everything your father said to you was a lie.'
The earth student was trying so, so hard. If only he could see inside of her, the strength that was forming inside, the force she was using to keep herself alive. But there was just too much. She didn't know how to cope, didn't know what to do with the weight of emotion upon her. The memories, the tears, the screams, the silence. Even as she sat there, shuddering, Deirdra remembered and felt the large hand of her father's grasping on her of wrists. She remembered him tugging her closer, with painstaking slowness. He was rough, but he liked to savor it. It was... it was....
Something soft touched her hand. Her eyes opened to slits, and she paused all movement to look at the little black cat that she'd carried around with her all day. Without thinking, she unclenched that hand and tightly grasped the little toy. It was like a grounding rod, and she instantly felt a little closer to reality. Her father had never seen this cat. There was nothing at all associated with this thing that hurt her. She took in a deep, shuddering breath, and though she stiffened when Ace wrapped his arms around her once more, she didn't feel panic. Something touched her mind, and she actually knew who this was. This wasn't her father.
She leaned against him, though she was still shaking, crying and breathing too fast. She was silent, at least. And he.... He was comfortable.
He spoke, and she tried to listen. But Deirdra didn't catch all of it. When he was done, silence reigned for a bit. Then, she opened her mouth. A coherent thought had formed in her mind, but she couldn't make it come out. Closing it, she screwed her eyes shut and pressed her forehead against Ace's chest. Then, she tried again. But it wasn't working. For a second, the inability to speak made her feel more anxious. But then she relaxed a little. People preferred it when she was quiet, anyway, right? At least right now, Ace was kind. She could do with a moment of kindness before he hurt her.
Minutes passed. Then, finally, the young woman leaned away from him until her back was against the wall. Tearstained face and gleaming eyes looked up at him, and she forced out a word. ”Ace....” Her expression changed, as though she was holding back another onslaught of tears. Then she sucked in a deep breath. ”You...won't hurt me?” She held her calm for a second, but it was to no great end. Soon, she was crying again. Differently, but crying. Out of the worst of the panic attack, but really to bawl herself to death from pain and exhaustion. It didn't matter how a person looked at her, it was revealed for the world right now—Deirdra was scarred, broken. In pain. Now there was nothing but for Ace to react.
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Post by AMBER SAVANNAH JAMES AMBROSE on Sept 19, 2011 20:49:34 GMT -5
Ace didn't know what Dee was going through, he just knew that whatever it was it was bad. He knew that it was something he should stop, something bad might happen if he didn't. He wanted her to stay with him, stay in reality, but she seemed to be slipping ever so slowly into insanity. Into the attack her mind delved and Ace wished he could just dive in like Hercules to save Megan. Something along those lines anyways.
She clenched onto the cat, and suddenly Ace was so glad he bought it, so glad he had kept it near him when she dropped it. She seemed to have held onto that cat when she was anxious, or at least that's what it seemed. He held onto her, he was her rock in reality, though the cat might have been a bit bigger in the role than he was. But either way he wanted her to come back to him.
She leaned into him and he held her still, as much as he could from her trembling. She pressed her head against his chest, and Ace knew she was somewhat back. He didn't know what to do besides hold her. He didn't think words would work right now, no they would only ruin it. So he kept silent, his kindness in the way he held her, the way he tried to share his warmth. She felt relaxed, no longer trembling so badly. She leaned into him and Ace lent her his warmth. Tried to make her relax in his arms. He already told her she was safe in his arms. He wanted to show her how true he meant that statement to be.
Ace smiled at her, his famous smile, one that showed he cared. He nodded at her question transmitting the silent answer. "I won't." He said quietly but loud enough for her to hear. He won't hurt her, no matter what happened, no matter what he did, no matter how frustrated he got. He would never, ever, raise a hand against her. Soon she was crying again, sobbing, but not like before gently Ace once again held her, let her cry on his shoulder. He had peaked into her, saw her for what she was. And he wasn't scared away, no if anything he was brought closer. He saw how scarred, how broken, how terrified she was. And it made him want to protect her all the more. So he held her until didn't want to be held.
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Post by xmarci on Sept 20, 2011 12:11:38 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:0px; padding-right:0px; padding-bottom:0px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] Deirdra Rosewood my soul is on fire, a shot in the dark - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Taking in a deep breath, Dee tried to shove those words down into her soul. Those two simple words were both entirely impossible to believe and badly, sorely needed. He won't. The girl closed her eyes, letting the breath out and trying to get herself to stop shaking. Her hand loosened around the little toy in her hand, and then she peeked at it through slitted eyelids. The cat's little green eyes were staring lifelessly up at her. But it still somehow made her heart react. Sort of. At least having this little piece of innocence in her hand was helping her get over the loss of her own. For now.
The last time Deirdra had willingly allowed herself so close to a man dated back before she'd come to the academy. There had been a small, month-long window in which she'd warmed up to her uncle enough that he was able to touch her without any ill affects whatsoever. Though it was probably just because of her exhaustion from the attack, she found herself not minding the proximity to Ace. Eventually, she quieted, and just sat there, leaning into her friend and steadying her breath. Her fingers curled tightly around the toy once again, and she pressed her face into Ace's shoulder.
At one point, her free hand moved to grab a fold of his shirt in her fist, almost like a child would to ensure they would not be separated. Then, her breathing slowed, her body relaxed, and she nodded off. Panic attacks could quite possibly be described as some of the most exhausting ordeals a person would have to go through. After a day full of surprises and new things, Deirdra was unable to shove away this moment of comfort. Soon, she was asleep, still clinging to her new friend.
((x.X Could not help it. Deirdra would not let me write this any other way.))
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Post by AMBER SAVANNAH JAMES AMBROSE on Sept 20, 2011 16:14:01 GMT -5
Ace sighed as pressed her face against him. He uncurled his legs and lifted her so she sat on his lap, the floor was uncomfortable, he thought she wouldn't mind. With a sigh he leaned back against the wall and felt her wieght press against him. He sighed and was about to scoop her up when he felt something grab onto his shirt. Looking down he saw her hand grabbing onto him. Ace felt that pang once more in his chest, and he didn't know what happened but he suddenly felt so tired. He smiled as she quietly breathed and slept. She was clinging to him and he couldn't help but smile, gently, and he didn't know why he was doing this, he kissed the top of her head. Like what a proper father would do to his daughter, hoping that she felt that sign of affection, and hoping she wouldn't be scared of him. Something was growing, ever so slowly, but it was growing. He couldn't tell what it was yet, he just knew that this girl had planted it inside of him. She was warm, he was tired, the cool wall felt nice on his back, and her gentle pressure felt nice.
Ace yawned and wrapped his arms around her and his body supported her weight, slowly, the tiring day catching up with him, he fell asleep. His friend sleeping quietly on him, clutching onto her toy, and onto him.
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