A VICTIM OF CIRCUMSTANCE;; harlow

[NELL DOE DALE]

Nell took a large gulp from her coffee cup, one of many scattered across the table. She knew she’d have to get rid of them all before the librarian came around and saw it, but right then she was much too concerned with her textbooks to even worry about the woman. She also had a hidden stash of chips and food in her bag on the chair next to her, but there was never a time when Nell was without food, so that wasn’t out of the ordinary. What was out of the ordinary was her looking so stressed out. Usually, she always had a smile on her face, even when reading a book, but now her lips were scrunched together in a look of frustrated concentration. Her brown hair was a mess in its clip, frizzy and going every which way, and her t-shirt was wrinkled beyond belief. She’d kicked off her flats long ago and was icking her bare feet around, always feeling the need to move.

Theory just blew her mind. She was not a logical thinker, put a book in front of her and it would take hours to get through. It was much easier for her to go out and do things, which is why she loved the classes where she could actively practice with her powers. Not just read about them. Where was Josh when she needed him? He had been her study buddy since she had come to the Academy, and she was always thankful for his assistance when it came to situations like this when she just couldn’t understand what she was reading. But she chose not to bug him for this particular test, because she knew she’d be jumping down his throat with tons of questions, eyes wide and holding a book up to his face.

Because it just wasn’t schoolwork stressing her out, it never was just schoolwork. It was life in general. It was her job, it was her crappy apartment, it was her father, it was the impending trial, it was her aunt, it was her fear, it was everything. At least now she didn’t have the war to worry about, since that had been the straw that broke the camel’s back. It had brought about a crushing breakdown that a cute little kitten had managed to end. She had tucked everything away for Josh and Pablo’s sake, and she was always wary of another nervous breakdown just waiting around the corner. No, she’d never let it come to that again. Nell wouldn’t let herself be that weak and defenseless, it was the most terrible feeling in the world only made better with Josh’s presence.

But right now she didn’t have Josh or anyone. And that’s how it had always been—she’d been self-reliant her entire life. Picking up another book from her huge pile, she opened it and began to read aloud, ”And the state in which earth is most pure…” Oh god, her brain was turning to mush. Why couldn’t her brain work well with books? What had changed from the time she was a little girl reading through medical textbooks? The fact that you didn’t even understand half of what you were writing down. She’d been so naïve back then, and she almost wanted that back. Not the pain or the sorrow or the loss of the one person who ever genuinely cared about her, but the innocence. No, now she was living like an adult, out on her own in the world, feeding off her father like a parasite. I’m the worse person who ever existed. But she couldn’t focus on that right now. Right now, she needed to study.

[bree]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #050F1A;,true][cs=2] YOU CAN'T PLAY ON BROKEN STRINGS. YOU CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING THAT YOUR HEART DON'T WANT TO FEEL. I CAN'T TELL YOU SOMETHING THAT AIN'T REAL. THE TRUTH HURTS AND LIES - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - worse
[atrb=width,240] all too eager to finish the school day, harlow found herself unable to take the professional clothes she was suppose to wear as a teacher any longer. always preparing herself with a spare, something she found unbelievably comfortable, today she had her striped sweater. most could debate the weather was far too warm for such harsh clothing, but none knew harlow was not a lover of the sun. with her classroom empty and the door closed, she quickly changed her top, instantly feeling the relief of wearing something casual. reluctantly, she gazed down to her satchel picturing the weight it had from the papers waiting to be corrected. "lucky me." she thought to herself before picking the bag up, surprised at how light it actually was. apparently her guessing skills were off today. nonetheless, feeling more at ease, harlow left her classroom, locking the door behind her. as she wondered the halls of the academy, a part of her wondered if she look too casual and would be mistaken for a student. however, laughing at the idea, although harlow was new, she was not that new. people, let alone other staff, would recognize her. with brightened moods at her own personal joke, harlow quickly stopped in the middle of the hall remembering she wanted to go to the library. with her hand swiftly brought up to her forehead, she lightly hit it, punishing herself for the forgetfulness. "detour time" she sighed, turning around. with a faster pace this time, she began to wonder what book she had been looking for in the first place. as she neared the library, harlow paced herself on the stairs, not wanting to end up on her butt. she was clumsy enough on flat surfaces, she was not about to deal with bumpy ones. each step taken one at a time, harlow probably looked amusing with the concentration etched on her face. finding herself at the doors sooner than she had expected, a smile of accomplishment covered her features. "harlow: one, stairs: nada!" of course, only harlow would find it rewarding to make it up stairs in one piece. as she walked around the library, the old book smell mixed in with the new, making harlow scrunch her nose. it either had to be new or old, but not both. "bloodletting and miraculous cures... vincent lam!" she randomly remembered the book she was searching, realizing she had spoken too loud when heads raised to look at her. with a flash of red hitting her face, harlow when to the L authors, beginning to narrow down for the book. as she spotted the red binding, noticing the book from a mile away, she quickly grabbed it like a greedy cat, not even bothering to read the back. ready to go home, harlow began to walk to the front of the library, but like she always managed to do, became distracted as she noticed a girl in the corner of the library, far too many coffees on her desk and a troubled look on her face. with motherly instincts kicking in, harlow began to walk toward the girl. with a sneaky smile curving up her lips, harlow cleared her throat like the librarian would do. "excuse me miss, no drinking in the library!" she spoke, trying to make her voice sound angry, but bursting out into a laughter. if anyone knew harlow, they knew being mad was not really her thing. pulling a chair out from the table, not even bothering to ask, harlow placed her satchel down on the ground and her book on the table. "my, don't we look a little overworked." she noted, her voice welcoming, but showing a hint of pity for the student. harlow could oh so clearly remember these nights and how difficult they could be.	[atrb=width,140] words , six three five. tagged , miss nell. clothes , casual. notes , sorry for the wait!
[cs=2] TEMPLATE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING OF CAUTION 2.0

[NELL DOE DALE]

Nell flipped through the pages of the book, and they made little snapping sounds as they hit each other. She scrunched up her nose, wriggled it a bit, then sighed. Yeah, this just wasn’t working for her. If only to add to that, she’d never had a formal education before. She’d been homeschooled by her father up until he left and from then on she had been on her own. Sure, she was good at things like writing and learning about history since she was so left-brained, but when it came to maths, she felt like a complete dunce. But these kinds of thoughts dragged her down, and she was an optimist. She was better than this (no, no, you’re not very good at all) and she just needed to work hard. What happened before didn’t matter—what she did now was what counted.

And what she was doing now included taking out her bun and absentmindedly wrapping her hair around a pencil, pinning it back in place as her eyes ran across lines of words she wasn’t really absorbing anymore. She’d been at it for a while now, and hadn’t even realized how late it had gotten to be. Her attention had been fully absorbed by the array of books around her and the jotted down notes. Nell had to remind herself that she didn’t need to crumble them up and stuff them into her pockets when she was finished as she had done in her younger years so her mother wouldn’t find out. But Tilly had found them once, since they shared a lot of clothes, and asked her a lot of questions about what she was doing. The girl was too naïve to understand many things. But she did know what was happening to her, what was going wrong with her body, how she was steadily slipping away into death. Great train of thought, Nell. She often did that to snap herself away when her mind wandered too far and too deeply into her past.

Luckily the coffee cup had a lid, otherwise it would have splashed out when she jumped. Hastily, she hid it under the table and looked in the direction where she’d heard the stern voice. Nell blinked. Well…she looked like a college student to her, whoever this person was. Definitely not a librarian by the way she was dressed. And then the woman laughed, and she put on her usual half-smile, though it wormed its way onto her face with a little more effort than usual. The redhead unceremoniously pulled out a chair to sit across from her at the messy table. The woman seemed sympathetic to her plight, but in usual Nell fashion, the Earth student tried to brush it off. ”Ah, just the usual cramming before a big test. School's been getting really busy, but it's nice to stay occupied.” Nope, there was nothing ever wrong with Nell Doe Shepherd. Even when she let her façade slip at times like this, she fervently denied there being anything bothering her.

Closing the book she was trying to vainly make sense of, her smile came brighter with a little more effort, eyes looking a bit less dull to put up her usual show. ”Are you a college student, by any chance? I’ve never seen you around, so…” Nell had no idea that this woman was in fact a teacher. She didn’t take her creative writing class because she was already overloaded with supplementary classes firmly based in the elements. Though English was her best subject and creative writing was something that interested her, she already had a lot on her plate. She couldn’t really have a choice in what she wanted, but she didn’t mind too much. As long as she was finally getting the education she’d never had before. "My name is Nell, by the way." As she did whenever meeting someone new nowadays, she wondered if they recognized her name from the war. But she tried not to let those thoughts get in the way. "I'm an Earth student in the twelfth grade."


(it's okay, because PFFFF STRIPED SWEATER, I FUCKING LOVE YOU! <33)

[bree]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #050F1A;,true][cs=2] YOU CAN'T PLAY ON BROKEN STRINGS. YOU CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING THAT YOUR HEART DON'T WANT TO FEEL. I CAN'T TELL YOU SOMETHING THAT AIN'T REAL. THE TRUTH HURTS AND LIES - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - worse
[atrb=width,240] getting a better reaction out of scary the poor girl then she had hoped, a part of harlow felt bad for sneaking up behind the girl like that. however, as she observed the girl and could clearly see the stressed etched on her face, she figured a good distraction was required anyway. scary her was exactly the type of thing she needed to wake up. with a smile, harlow knew the girl, despite whether she knew her or not, though she had never taken her class before. perhaps the wind teacher had too much time on her hands, constantly observing those around her, or maybe the girl had done something at one point that caught her attention. either way, it did not particularly matter, except for the fact the professor got to meet her now. better late than never, of course. as she explained why she was so hard at work, harlow nodding, understanding where the child came from. harlow herself was all too glad to no longer spend nights slaving over a table to finish an assignment, but she was not completely free. instead, she now slaved over papers and papers of creative writing, or students attempts at creative writing. she signed, some were so used to writing essays and not able to think outside the box that other teachers had built. "i'll assume by your oh so happy face that it's not going that well?" harlow commented, another empathic look crossing her face as she observed all the books in front of the poor girl. it appeared she was similar to the professor in the way she took classes, never leaving enough time for other, leisure things. then again, thanks to a lack of friends, harlow was able to handle it. the question was, was the girl able to? with the next words that came out of the student's mouth, harlow frowned. did she honestly look that young and teenager like in what she was wearing? pushing the thoughts back, she smiled with a light laugh. "i have luckily passed all that as well." harlow first said, before realizing that might not exactly answer the question in a very clear way. "i'm professor notara, creative writing teacher here at the academy. however, you've never taken my class so mistake forgiven." a laugh followed the words, harlow wanting to keep the conversation light rather than dragging it down. she hoped from her last words the girl would not feel bad about not taking her class, however, she could see how the girl would be inclined to think so. "on a side note, it is nice to finally speak to you nell." she pulled the conversation forward. "i've spoken to your teachers before, a hard worker you are." she added, admiring for a moment nell's hard work, laid clearly before her on the table. "you can call me harlow, unless you prefer technicalities like professor notara."	[atrb=width,140] words , four eight six. tagged , miss nell. clothes , casual. notes , lmao, glad you enjoy the sweater.
[cs=2] TEMPLATE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING OF CAUTION 2.0

[NELL DOE DALE]

Nell realized that her reaction may have been a bit extreme. Most would have just snapped their head up real quick, but she jumped. It was the caffeine, she bet. Or rather, the gallons of caffeine running through her system and hotwiring her nerves. She was far from a coffee addict, but it certainly helped during times like this.

Snorting at the interloper’s question, Nell shook her head. With a sort-of smile, she let herself admit, ”No, not really.” Even that was a little much for her, since she wanted to keep up appearances of being perfectly fine and dandy at all times, even for this stranger. She wanted it to look like nothing ever got to her, so people would rely on he when they needed to. No one went to a total mess for help, now did they? And even though that was really the case inside—her mind was like a teenager’s room—she tried not to let it affect her outward features. Until now, it seemed. Even this older girl could see that there was something wrong. You got skills, Nell.

The fact that this stranger was passed the college stage surprised Nell. ”You should be proud, that I mistook you for a college student,” Nell joked with a chuckle that was airy from exhaustion. There should have been more energy, but it was mainly just jitteriness from the caffeine. ”Creative writing? You know, that’s actually something I’m interested in, but I couldn’t fit it into my schedule.” She was great at English when it came to creativity—understanding nonfiction and instructions like the books before her were another story. It was really a shame that she couldn’t have taken the class, because this woman seemed really nice. Not that she had problems with any of her other teachers, but still. ”Same here,” Nell returned pleasantly. A blush covered her face upon hearing praise told from her professors, the fluttering of pride in her stomach that had been such a foreign feeling for years before. ”Well, I try my best,” she said sheepishly. ”Unfortunately, I haven’t heard much about you.” She didn’t even know her name.

Which changed upon introduction. Harlow Notora, was it? Well, Nell thought that was just the coolest name. ”Professor…Notara…?” She said it slowly as if mulling something over, then took a sip from her coffee cup. Then, she shook her hand in excitement upon realizing something. ”Nevermind, I have heard about you! You’re one of the cool ones, at least that’s what my friends say.” She giggled after saying this, but again, the sound was rather drained. Still, it was there and it was sincere.

[bree]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #050F1A;,true][cs=2] YOU CAN'T PLAY ON BROKEN STRINGS. YOU CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING THAT YOUR HEART DON'T WANT TO FEEL. I CAN'T TELL YOU SOMETHING THAT AIN'T REAL. THE TRUTH HURTS AND LIES - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - worse
[atrb=width,240] with a light laugh, harlow thought about the mistake for a second. although she was only twenty four, she supposed it was better than being accused of being some thirty year old. her mother had always raised her to take care of her appearance, to lotion up and prevent those wrinkles from ever appearing. to a sense, this mistake, lightly speaking, was a sign telling her she was doing a good job. with a nod, she agreed, taking the accusation as a compliment rather than a mistake. with nell's next set of words, she smiled as best as she could, trying to show no disappointment in her face. harlow remembered so clearly only taking the classes she was required to, filling her schedule to the brink of breaking and desperately wished she had known earlier to do things she enjoyed in high school and save all the hard work for college, where it as already expected. "perhaps some other year." she commented, her voice a bit distant, though not purposefully. it was not uncommon for the teachers to talk about another students and nell had been one of them. often over-worked for such a young mind, too eager to finish everything that life threw at her, a part of harlow wanted to convince her to slow down and enjoy something like creative writing. "i know a good student like you will find ways of fitting things truly important in." she randomly added to her former statement, more speaking her thoughts aloud rather than actually speaking to nell. with the word cool drifting to harlow's ears, however, the thoughts quickly scattered and her face let off a faint pink. "well it's nice to know i'm not a complete stranger around the school." she commented, a natural smile breaking onto her face at the idea of students talking about her. it was easy for teachers to have conversations about certain students, heck, the triplets had come up more than once, but it took something special to be recognized by the students. "i'm glad i'm able to keep my students awake and somewhat interested in writing." she spoke whole-heartedly. glancing down at her satchel, a part of her was now not so horrified to have to correct things tonight. glancing back up at nell, harlow smiled. "so nell, have you ever thought of taking a break from all of this?" she asked with curiosity. from personal experience, harlow's parents had constantly questioned if she would ever give friends a try and leave all the hard work for things like college and exams. by the looks of it, nell was a power house, never quite stopping at satisfactory, but wanting to be way above average. "i see a lot of you in me, which is why i ask." harlow explained a little farther into the question. "specifically the working non stop." a laugh followed these words and harlow smiled. to be young again, would she actually go back?	[atrb=width,140] words , four nine four. tagged , miss nell. clothes , casual. notes , awwe, harlow is considered cool, lols.
[cs=2] TEMPLATE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING OF CAUTION 2.0

[NELL DOE DALE]

Nell leaned forward, seeing that Harlow looked a little disappointed. ”Oh, definitely next year,” she said enthusiastically, and her hands were shaking a thanks to all that coffee. They really just wouldn’t stop shaking. What the heck? In any case, she would really like t otake the class and have Harlow as a teacher. But with so many things on her plate, she didn’t even know how she’d managed thus far. Well, Josh certainly helped, but he couldn’t help with her life in general and she wouldn’t ask. It wasn’t just schoolwork that had her always stressed, after all. There was just too many things in her future to worry about, the big thing being her murder trial and the ever-pressent fear that by the end of this year, she’d be sentenced to death. Nell never tried to think about these things, the future or even the past, and stuck mainly to the present. She threw herself in everything she did, including schoolwork, with a fervent passion. She didn’t want Harlow to think that she didn’t didn’t consider creative writing to be important, so she said, ”I think creative writing is very important. It’s great, actually! Unfortunately, elemental classes come first in the mind of the Academy.” Not that she minded. She really wanted to hone her abilities so she didn’t kill anyone again. That’d be super nice.

Giggling when she saw she made the professor blush, she absent-mindedly played with the stirrer in her cup of coffee, always feeling the need to move around. Especially when hopped up on caffeine. ”Nope, nope, you’re pretty darn popular,” Nell said, furthering her always genuine compliments. She loved complimenting people, all the time. And all her compliments she felt were earned. ”Creative writing sounds like such a fun class, actually,” she sighed almost wistfully, thinking of missed chances. It would be something she was good at and she almost wished she could drop her math class for that. But math was necessary, no matter how terrible she was at it. English was good for her since she had the challenge of learning that language and Spanish at the same time. It helped her hone the knowledge of the languages and be rather good at it. Besides, her right brain thought process embraced english and history.

At Harlow’s smile, Nell let her facetwitch into one of her own. ”I can’t really take a break. I enrolled this year as a senior, so if I fall behind…I’m pretty much as good as kicked out.” She stated this all matter-of-factly, because she didn’t like to complain. Even though she was pretty much blacklisted and on Academic probation, she couldn’t complain about anything. Because the Academy had been her greatest opportunity ever. It was her sanctuary, and in a short amount of time, it had become her home. Even when half of it was out for her blood, she knew it was the only place she would ever feel like she belonged in, where she would fit in. ”So you spent many a night here, huh?” she asked with a small smile, taking a second to tip the cup to her lips, forgetting that the woman in front of her was a teacher. Because she didn’t really act like a teacher, and she didn’t look like a teacher. ”Does it ever get easier?” She asked in an easygoing manner. Like she wasn’t praying to whatever god there was that it could all just end soon.

[bree]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #050F1A;,true][cs=2] YOU CAN'T PLAY ON BROKEN STRINGS. YOU CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING THAT YOUR HEART DON'T WANT TO FEEL. I CAN'T TELL YOU SOMETHING THAT AIN'T REAL. THE TRUTH HURTS AND LIES - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - worse
[atrb=width,240] a light smile broke out onto harlow's face as nell tried to explain the importance of creative writing, but the equally, if not more, the importance of controlling the element. little explanation was needed for the wind professor, though apparently nell had no idea of this. as a child who was constantly in a battle to control her element, yet still do the things she loved, harlow knew all too well the sacrifices she made for the academy. her grades had suffered for her need to get better control of wind and only when she hit college did harlow ever begin to understand her element and work with it, rather then against it. "i understand quite well where that comes from." harlow spoke, tempted to continue her story, but stopping. it was hard for her to remember that the person she was talking to was a student and revealing personal life details is not always the best move. a professional relationship was always required, or so she was told. unknown to herself fully though, it was a refreshing comment to hear that she was not completely lost in the shadows. not all students were interested in creative writing, let alone taking it as a class, and some had been plain forced out of lack of electives. whatever the reason, it still surprised harlow to find out her name had been spread from mouth to mouth without her picking up any notice of it. sometimes she could be so oblivious. "i'd like to think creative writing is fun." she added to nell's comment, a laugh escaping along with it. her opinion was biased of course, but she knew from taking it in college that creative writing really could be a bless in disguise. nonetheless, watching nell and the way she spoke, harlow could tell if it was not for her element, nell could be great in the writing aspect of life. there was something truthful about the way she spoke, something that showed she enjoyed to please. this brought a subtle smile to her lips. with an understanding gaze, nell seemed to stress so much on school and what could possibly happen. a part of harlow wanted to pity the girl, tell her to just relax and let life come to her instead of her to it. another part of her wondered if nell had the need to control things, if her personality, if herself actually, felt better when in control of the things that occurred around her. allowing the memories of the academy take her current thoughts away, harlow chuckled. "yes, you could say i almost lived in this library at times." she replied to nell's question, her eyes distant almost as if she were watching the memory float in front of her. with nell's next inquiry, however, harlow hesitated in answering. did life ever actually get easier? when people said if you worked hard and would be rewarded, did it always apply to everyone? she pondered about her life, of the things she went through and a light grin took her features. "i'd like to say everything becomes easier. sure, controlling your element becomes second nature, but life itself? no, it never gets easier nell, but then again, would you enjoy it as much if it did?" she replied by asking her a question. harlow had been through her ups and downs. life had thrown lemons and each time, she made lemonade, but she could not honestly admit she would change it. there was something good about knowing that things were difficult, but each day you woke up and took it was a day you beat it. it was pleasing. it was... liberating.	[atrb=width,140] words , six one four. tagged , miss nell. clothes , casual. notes , nada!
[cs=2] TEMPLATE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING OF CAUTION 2.0

[NELL DOE DALE]

Nell was glad that the professor didn’t seem very offended about not taking her class. If only it was possible, but such was not possible. She couldn’t even drop a class in the middle of the year to take up creative writing. The girl was pretty much stuck with what she had. Not that she minded too much, she just… Oh stop it, Nell. Complaining—even if it was in her own mind—never solved much or helped at all. It just weighed her down. Therefore, it was always optimism and looking forward to the future and all that jazz.

Nodding enthusiastically still, it wouldn’t be too farfatched if one day it just flew off her head. And now it just wasn’t her natural hyperactiveness, it was all the caffeine winding through her body. ”It is! And don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.” She crossed her arms certainly, and then added a firm, ”Because they lie.” Okay, maybe the coffee was wacking her out a little bit. Or maybe it was the stress. Or maybe it was just Nell. She could never tell, not even with herself. She just acted like this a normal basis, but with more excited hand gestures and flailing and smiling. It was amazing what workloads can do to people, especially Nell who had never experienced anything like it before. This was all very new to her, slightly scary, but she still embraced the education system as her saving grace. At least it wasn’t prison—her mother’s or otherwise. And she thought it could have been even more of a safe haven if not for the fact her father and aunt had found her. Don’t think about them. If her mind veered off the tracks now, she feared there would be no reclaiming it in this state.

Nell grinned at the response she earned from Harlow. ”I’m about to build a fort under one of these tables,” she joked. But if she considered it… It might be a fun thing to do, camp out in the library. But she doubt it would be allowed, and she’d sooner be kicked out than allowed a flashlight and some work material in her fort. It astounded Nell a bit that Harlow answered her question seriously. Of course she would, she’s a professor! she reminded herself. Nell wasn’t looking for any easy way out, she wasn’t looking for a way to cheat. No, Nell never ever cheated—in card games and in school. And she grinned as Harlow finished. ”No, I guess not,” she replied. Resting her chin atop her hand, Nell went on, ”Life wouldn’t be as interesting without challenge, not at all. No pain, no gain, yanno?” She just wished things weren’t going the way they were right now. She just wished a part of that pain wasn’t a murder trial. But there was no way to fix that.

Sitting back and hitting her spine a bit hard against the chair so that she winced, Nell decided to question Harlow out of her natural curiosity. ”What element are you in? I don’t think you mentioned it, and if you did, I’m sorry, I’m a…a bit hopped up on caffeine.” Nell shook her coffee cup a bit for emphasis. It did strange things to her, adding to all the jitteriness. Maybe she should lay off it before she gave herself a headache or passed out because of the crash.

[bree]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #050F1A;,true][cs=2] YOU CAN'T PLAY ON BROKEN STRINGS. YOU CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING THAT YOUR HEART DON'T WANT TO FEEL. I CAN'T TELL YOU SOMETHING THAT AIN'T REAL. THE TRUTH HURTS AND LIES - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - worse

[atrb=width,240] watching nell cross her arms and speak with such determination and conviction brought an amusing smile to harlow's face. in that one instant, nell did not seem her age but much younger than she probably intended to be. it reminded harlow of the times she was with young students, elementary students specifically, who had no problem defending their thoughts and beliefs. if you ever tried to say otherwise, you were brought into a large debate on what was right and wrong and by the end of it, god forbid you disagreed. "i never let anyone when i was younger, i do not intend to now love." she replied, remembering the exact nights her parents would sit her down and tell her to focus more on her element. it was during the months where harlow had to decide whether fighting her element every step of the way was worth it and following her dream of english, or if a sacrifice had to be made. looking at harlow with her wind element now, it was easy to see the things she gave up. with the mental image of a fort under one of the library tables and the idea of the librarian finding it, harlow burst into a laughter much too loud for the library. it took her moments too late to realize before she heard the familiar shhh of someone in the library and harlow quickly covered her mouth, eyes widen, showing the need to laugh again. for a second, harlow felt like a teenager again, goofing off in the library and narrowly missing trouble. the things being with a student could bring out. glad that nell understood where she was coming from with life and its difficulties, harlow smiled greatly. "glad you get the idea." she replied, eyeing one of the coffees on the desk and wishing she had brought some sort of beverage. then again, harlow had not planned to make a pit stop, but things happen. "it is through trial and error that we learn to play with the rules of life's game." harlow absent-mindedly added, letting out a simple laugh as her head came back down to earth. she raised a hand to run it through her hair. "that was the teacher coming out in me." she admitted. wise and sometimes not even making sense, that was harlow's way of teaching. when nell questioned what element harlow was in, a part of her was a tad shocked she could not tell. harlow was definitely not bubbly like the water element, or fierce like the fire. she did not obtain revenge like thunder and was not calm and even-tempered to be a earth. shrugging, it was sometimes better to ask than assume. "i reside with the wind element."

[/b] she replied, and for a moment a light breeze went around the two before harlow laughed. "it may not be the strongest element at first, but it is never a duel moment." she laughed, as the breeze that had quickly arrived, died down to nothing.

staring at the coffee quickly, harlow smiled. "i'm much more of a tea person, but i do understand." she replied, knowing when she had iced capps, well, they were interesting sometimes. thinking for a moment, harlow became curious. she had shared about her element and felt it was time for nell to. "tell me, do you enjoy the life of an earth element?" she questioned. harlow realized earth elements had a special kind of strength, like wind did, and many overlooked the element. it is not all flowers and daisies.[/div][/td]

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words ,

five nine five.

tagged ,

miss nell.

clothes ,

casual.

notes ,

childish much? lmao. cute <3

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TEMPLATE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING OF CAUTION 2.0

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[NELL DOE DALE]

Harlow seemed to be quite the independent woman, which Nell admired in the person. Independence was definitely a big thing with her. Unfortunately, her own emancipation came with a huge toll. But now, she had more freedom than she did before. Even if she was basically laying low off the law. In a few months, you’ll have to face the music. Thoughts of the impending trial were especially not good to think one while already jittery from caffeine, but it was always on her mind, whether she liked it or not. Intense cramming like this distracted her for short periods of time, but it always came back to grab her attention. A part of her just wanted to get it over with so she wouldn’t have to deal with the apprehension anymore, but she was stalling so she could postpone what could be a horrible fate in jail.

Ducking her head as she chuckled simply because the fact the professor was laughing at what must have been what she said about the fort, she managed to catch the librarians expression and calm herself some. She had to admit, it was strange spending time like this with a teacher, even though she didn’t look that much older than her. Nell was nearly an adult, after all, though she didn’t really look it. Darn height. She wasn’t usually self conscious about it (surprising, since she was self-conscious about most everything else), but now she was realizing that she would eventually be a five-foot-two adult, and that was like…a pigmy.

At Harlow’s next words, Nell peered up over the coffee cup she was slouched behind. Grinning, she asked, ”Is that a quote or did you come up with it yourself?” The Earth girl prided herself in all the quotes she had memorize, but it wasn’t like she had a record in her brain. Besides, she was only jesting with this easygoing teacher. In case the woman thought she had less-than-nice intentions with the comment, Nell quickly added, ”It’s a good one!” And she was glad she did add that, judging as how apologetic Harlow seemed about it. The words did well to remind her that she was still speaking with a professor here, no matter how nice and young she seemed. A part of her reminded herself that she should be on her best behavior, but the other part was too hopped up on coffee to care about it.

It wasn’t an easy task for anyone to tell who belonged in which element, especially with Wind elements. Not everyone could be completely fit into one category, and it was especially hard to discern elements upon first meetings. Of course, it was at least pretty easy with Fire ince they had such tempers, but otherwise it was difficult to tell if they were vindictive Thunders or kindhearted Earths upon first meeting. Especially if they were just untraceable as a Wind. Which it appeared Harlow was, with her slight breeze that felt good since Nell had been stuck inside most of the day. She guessed being Wind played into Harlow’s independence, for she knew that affiliation wasn’t really close-knit. Sometimes, the Earth girl found herself envying other elements, but she knew that was out of interest and earnestness. She would never want to be anything else. She decided to say this out loud. ”I really like the Wind element and how independent you guys are. Especially since you’re not susceptible or strong against any other element.” It sounded somewhat better than being super weak against Fire, while being poweful against Thunder. Of course, as a pacifist, that didn’t matter much to Nell.

As the question of her own element came up, Nell nodded her head as she seemed to like doing while high on all the caffeine she’d consumed. ”Oh yes, especially in the Academy since we’re all like a family!” She knew that Harlow probably couldn’t relate as a Wind element, so she wondered if this information interested the women. ”Plus, I wouldn’t want to be anything other than a flower child. The element means a lot to me, as I’m sure it does to everyone. I always feel right at home in a field or the woods.” Any place with a lot of vegetation, but her biggest goal was to grow her own garden. Stupid studio apartment… With hoenst curiosity since she liked learning more about others than talking about herself, ”What’s the best part about being a Wind element, you think?”

[bree]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #050F1A;,true][cs=2] YOU CAN'T PLAY ON BROKEN STRINGS. YOU CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING THAT YOUR HEART DON'T WANT TO FEEL. I CAN'T TELL YOU SOMETHING THAT AIN'T REAL. THE TRUTH HURTS AND LIES - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - worse
[atrb=width,240] with nell's question of whether the saying was hers or not, harlow smiled. apparently she still had it for a way with words. "those are my own words." she replied, sometimes wondering how she was able to come up with such things on the spot. her mother had always told her she somehow had an old soul in a young body, much wiser than a girl her age should be. it was never something harlow focused herself on at the time, thinking her mother was just talking nonsense, but now older, she understood. not to be vain, but harlow knew she had a specific way of viewing the world that many did not. almost as if she say the world in a poetic way, with words. she had always believed everything was a story waiting to be told and maybe harlow was the narrator. with nell's views on the wind element, harlow could not help but bring a smile to her face. for such an over-stressed girl, she had a wonderful way of summing up an element. thinking over what she said, harlow decided she liked it, that it sounded like her to a sense. "well thank you for that nell. she said wholeheartedly, a kind smile following shortly after. "it is nice to see you have such a good grasp on how certain elements are." she added, knowing when she was younger, she was far too concerned with creative writing and trying to control her element than to actually learn about the others fully. a light sigh came from her mouth at the ashamed memory. harlow had been so distracted at a young age, how she would of change if she had taken the time to stop for a moment and breath. how different would she be? the thought was too large for harlow to wrap her head around. there was no doubt in her mind she would of been far more different than she was now, and there was no guarantee she would even be a teacher. as nell began to describe her element, a feeling of pain filled her heart. it was easy to tell nell was close with her other earth elements, like she described, a family. however, harlow had never felt that with the winds, except for maybe a cold breeze and an icy glare. "it's nice to see you adore your element so much." she replied, her voice distant. at nell's age, harlow was in the mood of quitting the whole elemental world, her element and how difficult it was being too much for her. "i can hardly say i felt the same way as a young child." she replied. this was especially true with having a twin brother who was a water element. however, it was by using his element that harlow began to adore hers. she owed so much to her brother. thinking about what was the best with wind elements, harlow laughed to herself at the thought of saying family. it was certainly something harlow did not see arising in the wind elements, ever. instead, her mind was brought to her brother and her favourite pass time when they were in college. "in all honestly, it took the help of another element for me to realize what i liked best about the wind element." a faint smile crossing her lips as she thought of the memories once again. "i have a twin brother who is a water element. when in college, we used to sit in our backyards, combining our elements to make tiny water tornadoes." she started, her face brightening as she told the story. "of course, they never lasted long, us always breaking them with laughter." she added, laughing at the thought. "so in short, i guess i love that wind can make such beautiful and power things when combined with the other elements." she finished, picturing the power of a tornado full of electricity or fire. the amount of power would be unknown, but harlow guessed it would have a large effect on things. if only other elements got over their differences enough to see it.	[atrb=width,140] words , six eight eight. tagged , miss nell. clothes , casual. notes , or rather, my words. lol.
[cs=2] TEMPLATE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING OF CAUTION 2.0

[NELL DOE DALE]

Nell was proud to have Harlow’s praise after describing the Wind element, especially since this was all very new to her. She didn’t even know Wind elements existed until she came to the Academy. She didn’t know anything about the elements until she came to the Academy, so she was glad she was getting good at it, at least. ”Thank you!” Nell chirped, leaning forward a bit. ”It’s nice to see I have a good grasp, too, since I’m new to the Academy scene.” Hopefully, Harlow would infer that meant she was a late transfer so Nell didn’t have to go into detail. She was generally open and nice, but giving out personal information made her nervous. Part of it was because she didn’t want people to really know too much about her in case they thought she was a bad person or something and the other part was the fact she trying to keep the long-arm of the law away from her.

And another new thing she learned upon coming to the Academy was about her fellow Earth element and how close she is to them. The element was the closest thing to a real family she’d ever had. Or that’s what she supposed, because she didn’t have a good grasp on what families are really like when they’re not trying to hurt each other. But she supposed the connection she felt with her element was the closest thing outside of blood. Nell ducked her head and smiled a bit sheepishly at Harlow’s praise, enjoying the woman very much. But then she lifted her head, brown eyes full of interest as she asked, ”Is that because the Wind element is so distant?” Pulling back, Nell blushed. ”Sorry if that’s personal or anything.” Not only was she naturally curious, but she really did want to understand more about the elements. There has just been so much she missed over the years, it felt like she still had a lot to catch up on.

Nell’s interest was especially piqued when she heard of a twin brother. Harlow seemed especially happy talking about him, and this caused the Earth girl to lean forward once again. She loved twins, and she knew exactly why, too. But to others, she supposed her interest in stories like these were just out of curiosity. Hearing that her twin was in Water element, a painful thought hit her as it often did when she would rather not think about it. Tilly would have been Thunder. The fact that she would have belonged to another element was not the painful thought, not at all—it was the fact that she didn’t leave to see it happen. It always hurts to think about what the girl would have been like if she’d grown up. ”That sounds so cool, making water tornados!” Nell said, her mask perfect when it came to guarding inner thoughts. Then, she eased back in her seat, saying, ”I think that’s a great reason to love your element. Because of the way they interact with others… Yeah, that’s neat.” It was something Nell liked, sociology like that. Which is probably why she enjoyed history—it was social studies in the way people interact with each other.

Nell shifted a bit in her seat, the jittery effect of caffeine making her feel the need to move even more. ”So what brought you to the library, anyway?” she said, realizing she hadn’t asked before. Harlow knew that the Earth girl was cramming for a big test, and Nell felt almost ashame that she had asked earlier. Where was her manners?! Jeez, why are you such a socially crap person, Nell? She tried not to be insensitive, but she was—for all intents and purposes—a caveman. Still, she hoped her friendliness would help in all that. Which wouldn’t work well if she didn’t ask simple questions earlier in a conversation like what someone was doing in a library.