NOT THAT BIG,, livvy

[NELL DOE DALE]

you're not big in my life, not big in my life, not big in my life at all.
and i'm not big in your life, not big in your life, not big in your life at all.
YOU'RE NOT THAT BIG

All she wanted was a peaceful walk to distract her from the war. All she wanted was something else to occupy her thought. But of course he called and during school hours, too! It didn’t cross her mind to not answer her father. Because even though she was being one of those bitchy teenage daughters taking all his money, she still felt bad for it and the least she could do was give him some conversation. So she picked up the phone, and sighed as she spoke to him. The first thing out of his mouth was: ”I’m apartment hunting for you near where I live.”

“You’re…what?”

Did he not listen to anything she said that night or what? ”I said I’m looking for apartments near my area. I told you I can’t have you living in that place.” He repeated this as if her question hadn’t been rhetorical and it made her grind her teeth together before stuttering out her next few words in confused exasperation. “You…just…you can’t…what?” She heard him sigh on the other line. ”Nell…”

”I told you, I don’t want you to go…doing things with my life,” she said, her voice rising. ”Please, just let me do what I want to do.”

”You’re still my daughter no matter what and I need to care for you,” he said as if reciting a script. What, was he taking parenting classes or something. Still, it didn’t matter because everything he said pissed her off in a way that no one else had managed, not even her aunt. She was far from an angry person, but with him acting like he could just be her father again when he left her to her mother… Thinking all this pissed her off even more. He had this ability to enrage and frustrate to the point where she was speechless and didn’t know what to do with herself. So after sputtering for a few seconds, she did something in the heat of the moment she wouldn’t have done otherwise.

Nell chucked the phone into the lake.

Glaring at where it landed, it took her a few moments to realize what had just happened. “…maybe I shouldn’t have done that…” Great, just great! She stomped up to the edge and wondered if she got it out in time that it would be still working. Nell glanced around her and quickly stripped off her jeans, planning to find it in a few seconds since she didn’t throw it too far. Luckily, she was wearing boyshorts so it wasn’t too bad, but if anyone came back… ”¡Puta madre!” she cried out in shock when she waded into the freezing water. She moved her hands under the water to try the phone, all the while feeling like an idiot, and frustrated, and angry, and just fed up with life in general. And it had been a while since she’d felt this way.

[lili2]

Livvy sat propped up against one of the massive oak trees that dot the area around the lake with her favorite book, The Outsiders, laying across her lap to the place she'd been reading. She had her long legs crossed, sitting lady like in her mini skirt and her arms crossed over her stomach. She'd come out here to relax, read a book, and get away from all the war talk, which she didn't even really fully understand, but instead she had ended up asleep. It had just been so peaceful and quiet. But Liv was a very light sleeper and when she heard someone talking, more like arguing, her bright blue eyes popped open. She winced a little when she moved her head to look in the direction of the voice, apparently she'd been sleeping wrong as there was now a cramp in her neck. She spotted someone in the distance and squinted her eyes to get a better look, not wanting to move just yet. But with a sigh curiosity got the better of her as she collected her book and shoes that were laying next to her, stood up, brushed herself off and quietly made her way over.

She'd gotten about half way down the lawn when she saw the girl throw her cellphone into the water, then curse about having done so. She had to fight to hold back a giggle, though in the back of her mind she knew she shouldn't even think that was funny.. cell phones are very important, not to mention it sounded like the conversation leading up to the toss hadn't been so friendly. She slipped away into thought for a moment, she'd had phone calls with her mother like that recently.. She didn't enjoy talking to her mother at all, especially since she'd found atl east some freedom here.

Her attention was caught again as she glanced up and noticed that whoever was on the shore was now wearing no pants. Her eyes went wide as she began to walk closer and this time she couldn't hold the giggle back when she recognized who it was. Nell Shepherd, she didn't know the girl personally really but she'd heard plenty about her from all the talk in the halls about all this war mess. Psychopathic killer here standing pantsless on the shore of the lake pining through the water to find her phone, she couldn't help but keep smiling. She walked up quietly behind the searching Nell and looked down into the water, she could plainly see the phone resting not inches from Nell's hands but she just kept missing it. The water started to bubble just a little, more like a ripple really, and the phone floated up to the top, held up by the turning water beneath it. "Is that what you're looking for?"

[NELL DOE DALE]

you're not big in my life, not big in my life, not big in my life at all.
and i'm not big in your life, not big in your life, not big in your life at all.
YOU'RE NOT THAT BIG

Muttering under her breath as she grabbed at the water, Nell was not aware that there was anyone out there. She was hoping no one was seeing her right then. She gave herself two minutes before she’d get dressed and give up on the whole thing. After all, Nell was not completely shameless and she was less-than-comfortable showing her body because of all the scars. Which only made it worse. Even still, she ranted in her head as she waded through the lake, looking for the ever-elusive technology that might have already died. She really couldn’t believe she’d even done that! But that man made her so angry, it was the only thing she could think of at the moment. And it was strangely satisfying for about one second. Then, something surprising happened, though it shouldn’t have been seeing as she was at the Academy.

The phone bubbled to the surface, water underneath it churning like waves. She picked it up, and then heard a voice. She didn’t register the fact that it was female, just that someone was there and she wasn’t wearing pants. Nell splashed deeper into the water, crying out, “I’m not decent!” Then she turned, keeping her hands in front of her blue drawers and looking to see a girl. She sighed with relief. Okay, that was better.

Stepping out of the chilled water and pulling her jeans and shoes back on, she answered as she bent over to tie her shoes, ”Thank you. I…uh…kind of got mad…and threw it into the water…” She wanted to explain what the phone was doing in the lack anyway, unaware Liv had witnessed the entire thing. At least I didn’t pull a Naomi Campbell, right?” she said, hoping the Water girl wasn’t too awkwarded out by seeing Nell in her panties. Before she stood completely straight, she glanced at her phone and the water behind the screen. ”Well that’s dead.” Nell shook her head, but she knew that she could get a new one from her father. I’m a terrible person.

Standing upright, she smiled at the girl, whose name she could place now studying her features, her dark hair and overall attractive appearance. ”Liv, right? You’re a Water student…” she said slowly, wishing she wasn’t so suspicious but that was what war did to you. ”I guess…you’re not my enemy then.” She sure hoped not. Even though she was indeed a Water student as made clear by her assistance with the whole phone thing, people turned during times of war. Josh did so and she still couldn’t get over that, so she figured that those who were allied with her by default may turn because of relationships they had within other alliances. But Liv seemed nice. After all, she didn’t need to help with the phone.

[lili2]

Livvy had to put her hand over her mouth to keep
yet another little giggle fit in when the girl tried to hide her boy
shorts from her, not like she hadn't already seen them. But then
again Nell probably didn't know she had judging by the reaction.
She bought her hand back down and waved it in one of those off
hand gestures after Nell had started to try explaining why she'd
had her out burst. Livvy knew all about sudden outbursts of anger,
so if anyone understood it would be her. "Happens to
me all the time" A shakey little giggle followed the sentence.
She'd been having pretty good days recently, but then again she'd
mostly been keeping to herself since she'd gotten detention for
fighting in the halls.

She looked back up when Nell mentioned her name and the
mention of enemies. "Hm? Oh yeah, I'm Livvy"
She'd nearly forgotten about the war mess what with the situation
at hand, but the tone in Nell's voice had brought her quickly back
around to reality. " And you're Nell right? Ive heard a lot
about you, its nice to finally meet you" Her smile faded a
little as she looked Nell over, how could this person have killed
someone, more so how could anyone ever think she would. Then
she realized what she'd just said and how it must have sounded.
Her cheeks flushed red and she ran her fingers through her hair.
"I mean not cause of the war stuff, Ive heard of you
before that." She tried to smile again but now she just felt
stupid. Stupid Livvy stupid, not thinking before you speak
again.. It was a very bad habit of hers. There was that
awkward silence. How to break it.. how to break it. She
glanced back down at Nell's phone, for being down in the water for
such a short time it really had gotten soaked.. "Can I see it?" She
held her hand out and smiled up at Nell again hoping she hadn't
offended her in any way.

[NELL DOE DALE]

you're not big in my life, not big in my life, not big in my life at all.
and i'm not big in your life, not big in your life, not big in your life at all.
YOU'RE NOT THAT BIG

Thankfully, Livvy just hand-waved Nell’s antics, and didn’t seem at all bothered. Public indecency, way to add to your criminal record. ”Ah, so I take it you’ve thrown a few cell phones into the lake before?” Nell joked. Really, there was no way to tell this girl’s disorder from the personality she was showing now. And of course, the Earth student always saw the best in others, so it was hard to imagine Livvy with any faults. For one, she’d just really met her, and another, she saved Nell’s phone from the murky depths of the lake. Right now, she was shaping up to be a very good person. And also, it seemed Nell became even more easily attached to people who appeared friendly during wars.

It seemed like the girl almost forgot about the whole war deal. Nell really wished she could, and sometimes she came close—she’d gotten good at ignoring problems. But not these kind of problems, not war. ”It’s nice to finally meet you too,” she said, eagerly taking Livvy’s hand and shaking it. Good, the Water girl seemed very nice. Nell needed nice in her life right now. But her bright smile flickered into a frown for a moment. ”Yeah…I would think you had.” She quickly recovered though and dropped the other girl’s hand when Livvy corrected herself with a blush. Nell giggled. ”Really? Didn’t think I was that popular.” She rolled her eyes in good humor, showing that she really didn’t mind Lilly at all, despite the other’s embarrassment.

Liv fell silent for a bit, and Nell tilted her head as she wondered what she was thinking. And then she requested the soaked phone, and she quickly obliged, dropping it into the Water student’s hand. ”You think you can fix it?” she asked, now very curious. She didn’t know the extent of what Water students could really do, but Jacob had fixed her engine, and he was a college student. ”What grade are you in? College students can do a ton of cool stuff, but you don’t seem that old.” She might have even been younger than Nell, though she really couldn’t tell sometimes.

[lili2]

Livvy looked up from her outstretched hand when Nell mentioned
her throwing a phone into the water. She gave a weak little laugh
and sighed. "Yeah you could say that." Her mind wandered for a
second back to her first year here at the academy. It had been on
the shores of this very lake where a few of the students had
discovered first hand the violent extent her mood swings can
sometimes take when she's provoked. Her gaze wandered down to
her own hand, her eyes sort of glassed over as her mind flooded
with a scene.

She walked slowly around the edge of the lake, scrunching her
toes with every step digging little holes in the sand as she moved.
She didn't like it here, it seemed everyone in this years group of
freshies had already gathered in their little elemental or genre
based cliques and there was no one left for the little blond to play
with. Her parents had been so proud to send her here, so sure
she'd do well but never stopped to think about the culture shock
she might suffer. On the outside she looked and acted just like all
the other little girls of her age, inside she was just introverted and
scared because she knew the first time she had an episode she'd
scare any person who'd cared to get to know her away. But then
again, no one had cared.

She held her hands together behind her back, her little black flats
with the beaded details on the toe, her favorite shoes, dangled
losely from the tips of her fingers, and the hem of her favorite sun
dress blowing gently in the early spring breeze. She closed her
eyes and hummed her favorite song as she strolled along, A
thousand miles - Vanessa Carlton, gradually the gentle hum built
into her singing the lyrics. Now Livvy was not exactly blessed with
the best singing voice, and she knew this, which was why she only
did it when she knew that no one was around to hear. Like today..
Or so she thought.

She heard someone laughing, then someone else, then more
people. She stopped dead in her tracks. "Ohhh someone thinks
they can sing!" Geered one of the bullies. "Gahhh my ears!"
Moaned another. Her eyes popped open and immediately began to
gloss over with pre-fallen tears. She reached her hands up to cover
her ears, trying to block them out, her little flats smacked her in the
side of the head in the process. "Leave me alone!" She cried as
they continued to taunt her. Then she felt the shoes tugged away
from her hand. Her eyes flew open again, only this time they
weren't afraid. She looked quickly around for whoever had taken
them. A boy, a good bit larger then her, and standing next to the
edge of the water. "Give me back.. my shoes." She demanded
through gritted teeth. "What you gonna do if I don't huh twerp?"
He taunted her further. "Give me back my shoes.. please" She
asked one last time and the boy just shook his head with his nose
in the air. All the sudden she leapt on him, normally if the boy would
have been expecting this he would have just caught or even
deflected her, but she caught him unaware and he fell back into the
shallow water. The water around them began to bubble and
between the water holding him tightly and her straddling him, the
boy found himself unable to move. "Give me back my SHOES!!" She
shrieked then began to hit the boy and didn't let up until she
noticed his nose was bleeding. She gasped and quickly grabbed
her pilfered shoes, holding them tight to her chest, and quickly
backed off the boy, beginning to sob again seeing what she'd done.


Livvy shook her head a few times to rid herself of the memory and
bring herself back to composure. God I hope she didn't notice..
She sometimes fell into these little flashbacks when she found
herself in a place where she'd done something she was ashamed
of. Popular, that was the last thing she'd heard out of Nell's mouth,
and she had no clue what she'd been talking about so she decided
to disregard it and hope it wasn't noticed. She felt the weight of
the phone fall into her hand and she turned her attention down.
She flipped it over so that the battery cover was facing up and she
gently popped it off. She nodded slowly, "Yeah I think it can be
saved, just gotta dry it out." She put both hands around the phone
and in a few minutes water began to drip out from the edges of her
palms, not a great amount really, just the moisture that had been
left inside. When the drops stopped, she took one hand away and
replaced the battery cover then handed it back over to Nell. "Hope
that fixed it" She said with a bubbly little smile across her lips now.
"Oh, I'm a senior, in high school that is" She dried her hands off on
the hem of her shirt then looked back up to Nell. "What about
you?" Livvy thought she had to be older then her, people her age,
especially the girls, had never been this nice to her so far. Well
sure, most of them were nice to her face but never really took a
liking to her.

[NELL DOE DALE]

you're not big in my life, not big in my life, not big in my life at all.
and i'm not big in your life, not big in your life, not big in your life at all.
YOU'RE NOT THAT BIG

Nell waited patiently as the Water girl seemed to grow distant, adrift in what must have been the ocean of her thoughts. Actually, she really didn’t know. Livvy simply fell silent and so Nell patiently waited. Always patient, it was what must have been one of her most redeeming qualities. She never rushed people, or pushed them, or grew angry or exasperated easily. It took a special kind of person to test her patience, and that was her family in a nutshell.

But the girl wondered if she should do something, though, growing a bit worried. Should she snap her fingers in front of the other’s girl’s face. Should she just wait, fingers fussing with her belt buckle to occupy herself. Then moving to unclip and reclip her hair. Finally lacing behind her back as she rocked on her heels, looking around her. At the placid lake like a sleeping giant and at the cliffs high above, jutting out of the water and looking so breathtakingly beautiful and dangerous at once—like the edge of a knife. She didn’t just want to stare at Livvy, after all. That would be impolite, even if the girl would probably remain ignorant to it.

Finally, the girl remerged into reality with a shake of her head and Nell simply blinked at her with the usual half-smile on her face. She didn’t question it or ask what had happened. Feeling it would make Livvy feel even more awkward about it, she left the small lapse alone. Even though others would believe it also impolite to zone out in front of others, Nell didn’t mind it one bit. What was the use of getting worked up over people going off into their own little worlds? People were people and they could do what they liked—at least, that was how Nell viewed it.

Taking off the back of the battery, Livvy started to drain the phone like it was a colander. No, these displays never ceased to amaze Nell. She was such a greenhorn that it was actually difficult to get used to these things when others—including Livvy—have had years to grow in this environment. They thrived with others like themselves; she did not. And Nell tried not to let this take control too much. With her crooked smile, she said, ”You can put your number in there if you like. Since you saved my phone and all, I’d like to consider you a friend, Livvy.” And that’s how easy it was to become Nell’s friend. Smile at her and bam—she would stick by your side forever.

After she answered her question, Livvy turned it around and the Earth girl nodded. ”The same. I’m a late enroller, though, so I’m not quite as powerful as I should be, and as you probably are.” This fact made her life much busier, what with supplementary classes, which is why she was so grateful for Josh’s assistance in such matters. Schoolwork was something so new to her that she believed her ability to assimilate had its limits. But she tried her best. ”What are you doing around here? I mean, it’s not quite warm enough to go swimming.” Clearly, as Nell had found when wading into the freezing lake. ”Unless you like to go swimming in the cold.” She’d heard of people she done it, and it actually sounded exciting to her. Any kind of fun was good in her mind, as long as it was safe and no one got hurt. Goody two shoes criminal, she was.