SILENT PRAYER, tagged ALEX;

[marci]

The day off hadn't started that well, and aside from a few nice minutes in an unused classroom, it was continuing this way. Elaine had had several mishaps, included but not limited to ruining an expensive braille textbook and slamming her hands so hard on the floor that a very vibrant purple and green bruise now marked the spot. She couldn't see it, but the could feel the minor swelling and the constant throbbing of the injury. She supposed she could go to the medical wing for it, but she didn't like that place. She couldn't see what they were doing, nor tell what they were doing by listening. It made her feel more vulnerable than she already was.

It was a surprisingly warm day for the middle of winter, though that wasn't saying much. Elaine was wrapped in a thick sweater, but as she hated the blinding feeling of gloves, she'd left them off. Her own breeze deflected the cold wind that wished to make her shiver even more, but it would take too much work to try and pull the warmer air from higher in the atmosphere toward her. It wouldn't be worth the few degrees she would gain. So she continued to wander, head bowed, hair covered her face, arms around herself. She couldn't help but sniff every once in awhile, though she was trying her hardest to cover up the tell-tale signs of a girl that was crying.

A part of her felt bad for just running out on Josh like that, leaving him to wonder what the hell he'd done to upset her so much. But she didn't have any control right now, she she figured he'd had preferred that to her breaking down and crying right there in front of him. She certainly did. Elaine knew she'd just run away from one of her only real friends, though. And that didn't make her feel very good.

Her feet carried her farther away from the actual academy building, to the outskirts of the wilderness. If someone looked hard from the outside of the forest they would be able to make her out, but that would be only if they were looking for her. Sound, however, carried farther. No longer able to control herself, Elaine backed up against a tree and released the pent up emotion she'd been carrying for months. Years. Longer. She didn't even really know where is was all coming from; all she knew what she was exhausted. Her breath came hard, the cold, dry air starting to hurt her lungs within a few moments of the exertion.

The blind girl felt her legs start to shake, then she just let the buckle. The tree trunk guided her rear to the wet, snowy ground, the water soon melting and seeping into her clothes. But for now she didn't care. Her hands covered her face, her knees came up to shield her from the rest of the world. A slow wind started to move in a circle around her without her really realizing what she was doing. Her entire body shook, venting something she hadn't even known was there.

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[alexandre]

Nothing much of interest was happening in the Fire dormitories--in fact they were pretty much empty that day, with most of the students taking advantage of the not-so-frigid weather to go out with their friends. Alex was trying to be responsible and finish homework (key word being that he was trying) so he had shut off his phone in order to ignore any alerts from friends and the like. He looked up every now and then when the door opened and someone came through, but didn't say much to them unless they greeted him first. Some did, some didn't. One of the college guys seemed distracted by something and completely ignored Alexandre as he headed for the dormitory, probably to either sleep or get work done. Dale's his name, right? They'd spoken on a few occasions, but the conversations were usually short and clipped. The guy wasn't very social and so Alex put the distraction off to something else entirely. He didn't know the older boy well enough to make assumptions on what was plaguing him, so he did not.

He also couldn't concentrate on his work, it seemed. Alexandre tapped the pencil off the pages and frowned at it as if hoping that a nice long glower would terrify the homework into doing itself. He hadn't really been working on the project for long but he could already feel his interest in it melting away like snow in the spring. Spring, he thought, sighing. Don't I wish. He was having difficulty with his Fire powers lately. He was still ahead of his classmates elementally because of his age superiority (he'd be a senior if he hadn't failed and thus had the stamina of one) but personally he was struggling. It was hard to manipulate the fire when your hands were shaking with the cold and it was almost impossible for him to create it seeing as his stamina was the only thing he was really keeping at grade twelve level. He wasn't attending the senior classes so he wasn't learning the tips and tricks to advanced elemental creation and manipulation.

"Ugh, I give up," he spat decisively, pushing the homework away from him and leaving it on the table as he grabbed his sweater from where it was slung over the edge of the couch. He didn't bother to pack up his stuff as he left the dormitory--his name was printed on the page (it was practically the only thing printed on the page...) so any self-respecting Fire student would know not to touch it. He was their leader now and whilst he couldn't nail them for something petty like hiding his homework, he could keep an eye on them and get them when it really counted.

Alex really didn't have a plan for where to go, so he found himself wandering around the castle until he came upon the front doors and pushed his way outside. There were quite a lot of people out on the yard standing in groups and chatting, as well as a couple Water elementals having a snowball fight. He melted one of the snowy projectiles as it was fired at him, some of the water splashing on his face. It was better than having a snow-stache, at least. He glowered at the offending students but decided to ignore them as he headed for the forest--he hadn't been in there for a while so he was hoping for some peace away from the idiots tossing balls of snow around. Alex hated the Water element, he really did. They were such colossal pains in the ass. His own brother Lucas was a Water elemental--they'd been close in youth, but now they were well-known rivals with Alex being the more dominant of the two. Lucas always seemed hesitant to fight back against the older brother whom he'd once hung out with.

He hadn't even gone far past the outskirts when the sounds of sniffling made him pause, furrowing his brow slightly. Alex usually didn't concern himself with other peoples woes unless they were friends of his, but the guy had a lot of friends--it was worth investigating at least. And whatever he'd been expecting to find, what he did come across was a lot worse than he'd expected. There was Elaine, shaking and crying as what looked to be the possible beginnings of a cyclone whirled around her. "Elaine!" he called with a mixture of surprise and concern, hoping to perhaps startle her out of blowing him away or anything like that. He kept his distance slightly just in case, wanting to know that it was safe (and alright) to approach. He was about to ask if she was okay, but that seemed like an obvious answer (no!) so he hesitated. "It's Alex," he added, because some people couldn't tell the difference when distressed even if they could see. "What happened?" Then he stiffened. "Do I need to go after anyone? Because I swear--" He cut himself off and breathed in deep. "If anyone hurt you..."

[marci]

She didn't even know how long she'd been there when she heard her name called. It was at that point that she realize that the circle of wind around her had started picking up speed, almost visible as it whipped through the air, creating a wall around her. She picked her head up, moving it from side too side as if trying to locate the person who spoke—well, she was, but more with her ears than with her eyes. At the same time, shaking hands moved slowly in front of her to pull in the twister, forming a condensed sphere of rapidly moving air. She brought her hands closer together, making the wind move faster and in a smaller space, forcing all the power of the bigger twister into the smaller one in her hands.

She stopped for a second, feeling her strength drain away. It was almost enjoyable, because it distracted from the fact that she was both miserable and cold. From this position she could—indeed, she felt a desire to—send it off like a canon ball into the forest in front of her. It by itself wouldn't be very likely to hurt any human or relatively large animal it hit, but it would rip the bark off trees, pick up sticks before it dissipated, and that part of it had the potential to cause pretty bad injury. Her face screwed up with concentration, then she opened her hands slowly, letting a little bit out at a time in the form of breezes and slightly stronger gales.

Elaine let her hands fall. Her entire body relaxed, and her head fell back against the trunk. She took a deep breath, letting it out for a very long time before she found the strength to speak. ”Damn.” She'd pushed herself too far today. Until she could get a good night's sleep, she'd have to be careful even with using her wind to see. Under these circumstances, she'd usually snap at whoever was nearby, or maybe be completely silent until they gave up and walked away from her. She didn't want to handle people right now. She didn't want anyone to see her like this.

But with Alex she felt different. She definitely didn't feel like putting on a smile for him, but she was glad he was there all the same. The blind girl barely needed to bid her hand to move into the air in his direction, more beckoning him over than wishing him to help her up. She shrugged a little, ”Plenty of people have hurt me today, but that's nothing new. Some didn't mean to, though. And the only one who managed to leave a mark was me.” She realized then that by holding out her hand to him she'd inadvertently shown him the bruise, so she pulled it back toward herself. It would probably hurt if he touched it, anyway.

”I'm cold.” She mused, ”And wet.” If she wasn't to stay healthy, she may want to change that sooner than later. Maybe Alex would help. But she couldn't make herself form the words that would ask him. So she just sat there, blind eyes closed, listening for his response.

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[alexandre]

Alexandre backed up one hesitant step when the wind increased in velocity and risk, worried that in her anger she might attack him accidentally. Or perhaps on purpose? Alexandre had upset people unintentionally in the past, had he said something to anger Elaine? She certainly wasn't yelling and screaming at him like most girls seemed to do when they had a problem with him. All the same he kept his distance until she dissipated the wind, stepping forward with a sigh of relief and blinking as one of the gales buffeted him, causing his hair to fly up slightly and his expression to screw up in surprise. Relaxed, now, he noticed her gesture for him to come in closer and so he did, stopping beside her this time and waiting for her to speak to him.

He hadn't made the connection that she'd meant the bruise was her own fault, and so instant upset flashed through his bluish optics as he noticed it. It was not a very healthy looking mark at all. "Who did that to you?" he asked, brows knitting together in distress. He wasn't normally this much of a worrywart when it came to his friends--Alex would stick up for them if the situation called for it, but he usually didn't take it this personal and get this involved. He had too many friends to go chasing after everyone who ever cried around him. With Elaine, however, it was... different. There was something more there. He did feel like he wanted to look out for her and he didn't think it was because of her disability. Blind or not, he felt a strange sort of kinship toward her. "Not only that, but who hurt you?" His jaw set in a firm line. "New or not, I don't like people that hurt my friends."

Especially not when you're that friend, he thought, but kept that last bit to himself to prevent any awkwardness or unnecessary questions. This was about Elaine, it wasn't about him. "Wait," he realised, perhaps a bit delayed in his reaction. "Didn't mean to? How can someone hurt you without meaning to?" He wasn't taking emotional upset into account--Alexandre tended to react before he really looked deep into what was being said. He wasn't an analyst, nor did he have much experience with this kind of thing.

She mentioned she was cold and wet, and really this was not surprising considering the way that she was slumped against a tree in the frigid snow and winter weather. He was about to sympathise and ask her why she was sitting in the snow if she was cold, and then Alexandre mentally slapped himself. Are you a Fire student, or what? he asked himself sarcastically, then smiled at Elaine despite her being unable to catch the gesture. "Not for long," he said, "not if I've got anything to do with it." His palm pulsed with heat and warmth and a small ball of fire hovered between them. He couldn't manipulate the heat on its own quite yet--that was too advanced for his level, but in making the small ball of fire stay suspended in the air, it started to melt the surrounding snow and then start drying the moisture that was left behind. "Sorry if it takes a minute," he apologised. "I'm not the greatest with my powers in the winter..." Stupid snow. Stupid cold.

[marci]

If she'd had sight, Elaine would have thrown Alex the most incredulous look he'd ever seen. Something in his head was not making a connection. A few things in his head were not making connections, actually. But, as the girl held back those initial, bitter feelings, she had to give him some credit. Honestly, her own father hadn't done any better with her, and her father had actually some idea of what she was feeling at any given moment. Poor Alex, who'd only every had a few real conversations with her, was trying to cope without any inside information.

She sighed heavily, feeling the slight pain in her lungs again. It took her a second, but she fought through the remaining tears that were flowing down her cheeks and started to speak again, ”I did this to me.” She said, cradling the hurt hand in her good one, ”Shortly after someone else did something else to me. I was angry, and I punched the floor.” She winced a little as she said this, both remembering the pain of the contact and expecting Alex to start scolding her for it. Of course you shouldn't slam your hand down on a hard, cold stone floor, Elaine. Of course that was a bad idea. You should keep better control of yourself.

She shook her head, ”And no, before you ask again, I don't know who that someone else was. They ran away before I could call a wind to see them.” Her lip started trembling again when he mentioned her being his friend. Not again, damnit. She tried to stop it, but another few tears made it out of her eyes and onto her face. At least she wasn't sobbing anymore. That was something. She hugged herself again, bringing her knees up and hugging them. A little voice in her mind asked Alex to just sit down next to her and give her a hug, but she didn't actually say it. She couldn't say that to him.

His confusion had her waving a hand vaguely, her voice a little desperate as she tried to explain without really explaining. ”He—they just said some things. They didn't mean anything bad by it. It just got to me more than it should have.” Her mind was once again racing through all the thoughts that had been brought up by her conversation with Josh, and she shook her head again to try and clear it. Not in front of Alex. Not in front of him.

Her eyes opened suddenly when he made the little fire, the sudden heat and rapid melting and drying to the snow surprising her. Even with his warning, she was still wary of a fire nearby. She was too tired to use her wind without needing to protect herself, so all her movement ceased while the fire was still there. As much as her senses helped her know where the fire was in relation to her, she really didn't want to accidentally stick her hand in it. After a few seconds, she rested her face forward on her knees, where she wouldn't have to worry about Alex seeing her tears. ”Thanks.”

Elaine sat there for a few moments, silently quieting her need to just cry a little more. She could do that later. She slowly sorted through everything that had her in a mess, imagining her aunt talking her through every one in a way that made her stress level go down, at least temporarily. But there was one thing that she couldn't do that with. Not effectively, anyway. After a moment of contemplating, she raised her head, wiped the dampness off of her face, and angled herself toward Alex.

”Alex....” She asked, her voice very quiet. She kept her eyes open, trying to best to point them straight at him (which didn't work; she was looking over his shoulder). ”Am I a freak?”

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[alexandre]

It dawned on him now--she'd been the one to cause the bruising on her hand. That calmed him down a little, but not by much. "You... ouch..." He wasn't going to go off on her and start lecturing her against self-injury, because Alex was a Fire student and he'd seen far too many Fire students that had done a lot worse in a moment of anger or upset. Forget punching a floor--they threw things, they broke things, they punched other people... no, after the mess of his own dormitory he had no right to think of Elaine as any different. She was human like everyone else and she'd handled her rage in a reckless but perfectly understandable rage. "Nothing's broken, though, right? You don't need to see the nurse...?" Much as the Medical Wing was hated by a lot of the student body considering the fact that not many people liked seeing a doctor, it was often a necessary evil. If she'd broken or sprained anything it might be better to have it treated sooner rather than later.

"Who--"

Alexandre had started to demand who had angered her enough that she'd taken her rage out on the floor, but it seemed Elaine was one step ahead of him. Alex flushed with colour as he realised she'd predicted that he might get upset and demand to know the assailant. Well, that was a little embarrassing. "Oh," he said, and he was slightly upset that she had no idea considering he would have hunted this person down and burned them something terrible if she had. Actually... maybe it was a good thing she didn't know, or Alex might just have gotten himself into more trouble than the situation was worth. But no--to him, no price was worth letting them get away with harassing Elaine.

Even though Alex heard that the person apparently hadn't meant anything by their comment, it still filled him with a slight bitterness. "Oh yeah?" he asked. "What did they say, then? Who said it? I'll get 'em to change their minds..." His hand curled into a bit of a fist. "Wasn't anything about you, was it?" he said vehemently. He hated the idea of anyone seeing Elaine as lesser than themselves just because she was blind. It didn't make her weak or anything, not in his eyes, it was just a bit of a disadvantage. She could do other things, and she was a great person. She was a musician, too. He'd love to gouge their eyes out and ask them to learn an instrument, see if they ran to Elaine for help when the world went black and there was nothing to guide them any more.

After the fire had done its work of drying them both off, Alexandre flicked his right hand slightly and the ball of fire went out, extinguished by his hold over it.

Elaine's question caught him by surprise and twisted his gut with pity--her voice just sounded so small and quiet. "Wha--no, of course not!" Alexandre sounded appalled that she could even suggest such things about herself. He didn't understand how she could think that way. Alex was one of the bullies in school and he didn't even see her as some sort of freak; he saw her as a friend and didn't let the fact that she couldn't see him as one as well affect this. Sight had nothing to do with a person's personality, and that was what determined whether or not you were a freak, at least in his books.

Then his eyes darkened to a glower. "Is that what they said to you?" he asked caustically. "Is that what they called you? 'Cause if they did, that's--that's not harmless, that's awful! You're not a freak and I'll introduce my fist to anyone that says you are!"

[marci]

Relief. Such sweet relief for such a small thing not to go wrong after so many big things had gone haywire. Elaine felt like kissing Alex for not making her feel anymore miserable than she already did, but the only thing that showed was the barest hint of a smile on her down turned face. When he asked if she needed to see the doctor, she shrugged. Not being able to see, she couldn't really tell whether or not she'd misjudged how bad it was. It hurt like hell, and it wasn't stopping. The cold was helping with numbing it, but with the renewed heat from Alex's fire she could start feeling it act up again.

”I don't know.” Her tone sounded avoiding, even to her own ears, ”I haven't been to the medical wing. Didn't think it was bad, but it's getting stiff.” Elaine had a high pain tolerance. Part of it may have been just a slight inability to feel it as well as most people, but honestly she was surprised she hadn't gotten horrid scars from all the times she'd run into dangerous objects. One time she'd run away from home—nearly got hit by a car. She'd only made it a block away from the house before someone brought her back. Anyway, it meant that she wasn't very good at telling what was wrong with herself. She hadn't tested it out with her other hand, either, because hse hadn't wanted the discomfort.

Elaine pulled herself farther into her little ball when he started asking what they'd said. He was still assuming it had been something overtly mean or hurtful, which was understandable. How what she supposed to explain what everything meant to her? Her perspective on the world was so much different. The things that other people took for granted were the most precious things in the world right now. An offhand comment that triggered a memory was one of the hardest things in the world for her to handle.

Another wave of relief washed over her when Alex's horrified tone met her ears. She felt a fresh lump try to rise in her throat, but she swallowed it down. No. That had been genuine. He wasn't just being nice there, at least. But then his feel turned from appalled to angry, and Elaine stiffened. She was completely still while he spoke, but then she stood swiftly, finding his shoulders with her hands.

The rapid ascension made her dizzy. She almost fell backward, and to avoid it she gripped Alex tighter and basically fell into him. She had to take a second to catch her breath, but when she tried to lean away from him she felt dizzy again. Too disoriented to know exactly where the tree was anymore, she just stopped trying. ”Sorry.” She whispered, ”I've used my power far too much in the past few hours. I'm exhausted.” At least she could pin some of this on that. She didn't want even Alex to think she was having a complete and utter meltdown over practically nothing.

After a couple seconds of steady breathing, she just went with it and wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his shoulder. ”No.” She said, ”No one called me a freak. I mean, my cousin did, all the time. But that was years ago. I just....” She had no idea how to put the feeling into words. ”People are mean to me. And people are nice to me, but...why has it taken two years for someone to like me?”

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[alexandre]

She apologised for being dizzy and disoriented and all Alexandre could do for a long moment was shake his head, in disbelief that she was blaming herself for all of this. He wanted to say something so that she didn't think he'd gone silent because it was awkward but he just couldn't make his mind form the words to brush past his lips. She was gripping his shoulders really tightly but he hardly noticed this at all, more concerned with her safety than a little discomfort in his arms. "It's okay," he said at last, and he'd have smiled would it have had any benefit. He hoped she could tell he was being genuine by the lightness in his tone, choked as it was by his concern for her.

Steady hands found her shoulders and worked to keep her from falling over again, perception telling him that she was dizzy and that she might fall over if she wasn't careful. "Take your time," he said quietly, in a tone which he could only hope sounded as reassuring as he wanted it to be. "Catch your breath, I won't let you fall." And he wouldn't--Alexandre only wished that there was more which he could do for her. She felt almost... fragile against his chest, much more so than he'd ever seen her as before. But Alex did not see this as a weakness. He didn't take in her vulnerability and think of ways which he could turn it around to make her life hell. Because she was his friend, and that wasn't what friends did. Instead he only worked on balancing his weight so that he could support both of them and stop from slipping back in the treacherous snow and slush beneath their feet. He could have melted it but with Elaine so close he didn't want to risk his fire singeing her in any way.

Then her arms were around him and she was burying her face in his shoulder and he just stood there in shock for a moment, not having expected it. After the initial shock, however, he reacted and slipped his arms around her, trying not to feel too much pity for the fact that she seemed so upset. People didn't like pity. Sympathy, well that was okay. He could sympathise well enough. Her question invoked a troubled frown however, Alexandre unsure of how anyone could hate her, let alone only start to like her now. People were stupid. "I don't know," he replied honestly, "but I do know that anyone who doesn't like you is one shallow and pathetic loser and that they're not worth your time, anyway." His tone was stubborn and firm--it would take nothing short of a divine intervention to get Alex to change his opinion on her. There was something special about Elaine, and Alex was just glad he'd gotten to know this side of her rather than turning into one of the other generic assholes that bullied her.

"I like you," he pointed out. "And I'dve liked you even if we'd met two years ago--we just didn't." In an attempt to assure her that this was the fault of all the other idiots on the planet and not Elaine herself, Alex continued, "Maybe you're just trusting the opinions of the wrong people? I'm sure there are a lot of other people like me that see you as a friend!" He paused, then amended, "Or at least they would if they just took the time to get to know you!" Alexandre was chatty and friendly and sociable--he made friends with people much faster than the average person just because his constant chatter and ability to socialise made people feel comfortable in his presence. But not everyone was like him. Some were tougher shells to crack.

"What upset you?" he asked a little more softly, considering she still hadn't said.

[marci]

His hands on her shoulders did wonders. Almost as soon as he touched her, she felt safer, and she truly believed her meant what he said. Won't let her fall, huh? Well, wasn't this a day for stunning revelations from the opposite sex. First Josh, then Alex...how many other acquaintances of hers felt this way about her without her even knowing. The thought started up a little indignant tirade in her mind about how people should actually voice their good feelings about other people instead of assuming that they magically knew. It really wasn't fair, assuming a blind girl would be able to read a person well enough to know what they thought about her. But she pushed the thought away from her. She knew her mind was only trying to find excuses for the way she felt right now.

After a few minutes, she was able to bear her own weight. She didn't stop hugging Alex, though. She liked the feeling, and though she didn't feel like admitting it out loud, she hadn't been hugged in any real way for close to two years. People felt like they couldn't touch her, like she'd fall over if they did. Regardless, she did shift enough to hold most of her own weight on her own, not wanting to hurt or tire Alex out. Though she still felt exhausted, she was feeling better. Sad, not miserable. Tired, not desperate. Still vulnerable, but at least Alex was making her feel safer. She didn't like that feeling, like someone could see right through to her core, but he didn't seem to be able to.

Elaine almost smiled at what he said, but she shook her head a little. ”I thought like that for awhile, and it worked until I wondered if that's how they thought of me.” Wasn't a fun thought. One part of her was hurt enough for the thought not to work anymore, and the other part didn't want to think so badly of anyone. When he said he'd have liked her two years ago, she replied, ”You really think so? I was a lot different two years ago. And you were too, most probably.” She'd been completely off-center all the time. Never once in that first year had she been able to keep her balance, emotionally speaking. It was like tumbling down a mountain.

She didn't answer the rest of what he said. Wrong people, people getting to know her. Well, maybe. She wasn't sure. It would be a simple thing to believe, but she really didn't believe it. Sure, people have been nice to her. People had tried to get to know her, but never for long enough to actually succeed. Earth kids had been patient with her, but they didn't seem to make the first move, and Elaine certainly wouldn't.

He asked his last question, and her breath came out in a long sigh. She carefully pushed herself away from him, reaching out her hands in all directions until she found the tree by hitting it with her hurt hand. Though she winced, she didn't make a big deal out of it, just placing her left hand flat on the trunk and leaning into it a little. Then she shook her head. ”Alex.... You wouldn't understand.” She said, her tone infected with apology, ”I don't even know how to explain it.”

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[alexandre]

Elaine was being really hard on herself--it was quite difficult for Alex not to just burst into a small rant about why she was so awesome that anyone who couldn't see it was a complete and utter moron. He'd never had a friend like this before. Of course he'd had friends with self-esteem issues but it was usually pretty easy for him to brighten their day just by pulling them into his large social circle and introducing them to every one of his friends so that they had an even bigger crowd of support. Alex didn't really think he could do that with Elaine just yet.

It wasn't like he was ashamed of being friends with her or anything--far from it. He'd parade around the hallways shouting about it if he thought it would do any good. Alexandre made friends with people because he liked and wanted them as friends, never because it was cool to be friends with them. That set him apart from a lot of the other popular kids in school, he supposed. He had a crowd and he was well-known, but it was because he actually appreciated the company of this crowd. Not every popular student got to their place by backstabbing and lying their way through a social circle. Most of his friends were that type, but that was another thing about him--he wasn't all that judgmental. What they did on their own time was their business, not his. Although... admittedly if he saw one of them bullying Elaine, he'd probably step in and put a quick stop to it. That wasn't cool.

No, it had nothing to do with her popularity. He just had a feeling that they would not accept her as readily as they would anyone else. It made him angry to realise this, but it was true. Rather than giving an attempt and making her feel uncomfortable, therefore, he'd just stay friends with her and hope for the best for now.

But right in this moment, he wasn't entirely sure what words would cheer her up. He could lie, but that would only hurt a hell of a lot more in the end. "I'll be straight with you Elaine--I haven't got a clue why the other kids don't like you except for the fact that you're a little different," he said. "And that's not a bad thing, but this school is obsessed with stereotypes. They want everyone to be like everyone else--it's just one of those dumb rules that was made up by some group of people a million years ago or something." Alexandre shook his head. "But you know what I'm going to do?" he asked. "I'll give you something else: I'll tell you what I like about you, because you're a very likeable person, Elaine, and I don't like that you can't see that."

She pulled away from him and he let her go, but he didn't walk away. He was determined to give her a bit of self-confidence or at least to see her smile by the end of this, so help him. "I like how genuine you are, for starters. You don't pretend as much as most people do; you're honest, and I can respect that." She might have her moments where she pretended to be fine when she wasn't, but those didn't count in Alex's mind. Everyone did that, it went without saying. "And I like that you didn't just assume I was some jerk just because of stereotypes," he said. "A lot of people won't give me a chance because I have a reputation and because I'm the Fire leader. I know I'm not that great of a guy, but the fact that you were willing to be my friend--that's a good quality. The world needs more people like that." He'd have smiled at her if it would have had benefit, but the smile was in his voice and he hoped that was enough. "I like your passion for music, too--but that goes without saying, it's always nice to have things in common with friends, right?" Now he did smile in actuality. "You're not a mean person, either, and I know that a lot of people that get bullied turn really nasty, so the fact you retained that... it's another thing I respect about you."

He touched her shoulder with his hand, a sign of silent comfort. "Should I continue?" he asked. "I could probably go on for ages if you wanted--you remember how much I like to talk!" He gave a soft laugh as he pointed out something she'd said to him on the day they'd met.

[marci]

Like everyone else? Like everyone else what? Like being able to see? That was a little more fundamental then skin color or personality type. A little more bitterness was rising like bile in her throat, but she swallow it down. Not to Alex. To anyone, but not to Alex. Elaine was convinced that no matter what mood she was in, no matter how angry or hurt, she'd never do something so unfair as that to Alex. He was helping her, so she would bite her tongue and let him. At least he was talking about how it was human nature and they sucked, not that she needed to give them a chance and hoped they started liking her oh-so-charming self. Her father used to tell her things like that.

Her train of thought completely halted when he said he was going to tell her what he liked about her. Oh no. She froze, holding her breath almost as if she were scared of what he might say. She opened her mouth to try and cut in, but he started off before she could. Which was bad. She wasn't used to dealing with people saying good things about her during the best of times. Right now...she was gonna...oh damn.

The wall she built for herself broke, and she found herself trying to hold back tears again. Part of her wanted to scream at him to stop so she could stop acting like such a baby. Most of her wanted him to continue. Her breaths became shaky again, and her tears were mercifully silent as they started to fall again. She moved closer to the tree, so that she could lean her shoulder onto it while he spoke. After awhile, she was leaning her head against it at well. He had her completely at a loss. Her right hand came up to wipe the tears away, and she almost smiled. Almost. Not quite.

A weak laugh actually did escape from her when he mentioned how much he talked. She nodded, ”Yes, you probably could.” But she liked that. He was comforting to be around. At the touch of his hand, she unthinkingly brought her own up to grab it. A lifeline. Anything to keep him from pulling the hand away again. Taking a deep breath, she tried again to smile. Sorta worked. Then she raised her head up, hoping her was looking at him when she said, ”Why would I dislike. No reason good enough for me not to give you a chance. People who don't are blind and uneducated.”

It just came out. It was an odd word for someone like her to use, but she meant it. ”And no, you don't need to continue. I get it....” She knew she didn't look or sound like she got it, but she hoped he'd take her word for it anyway. Baby steps. After several moments of thinking, Elaine reluctantly released his hand and rested her head against the tree again. She opened her mouth, then closed it. A long, deep breath. Then she opened her mouth again. ”I'm...I guess I'm just lonely. I feel isolated. So much of life assumed a person can make connections just by seeing things, but.... Yeah.” She took another deep breath. ”I can't. So I don't. And.... I've been alone.”

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[alexandre]

He was a little concerned and taken aback when Elaine started crying, but Alexandre just kept talking in the hopes that she would see how sincere he was being and just feel even a little bit better. He hated when he couldn't do anything for a friend, it always made him feel so helpless and stranded. He didn't know what it was she was looking for in a friend and he didn't know what sort of comfort she needed--if he'd been able to give it, if he'd known what to give, best believe Alex would be doing everything that he could. But unfortunately whilst he was good at talking he'd never been really great at personal issues and matters of the heart so he could only go with his gut instinct; which was exactly what he did.

The laugh relieved him slightly, but somehow it was not quite as happy as it should have been. Still, it was something, and that was a whole lot better than nothing in this scenario. He hadn't expected Elaine to bring up her hand to grasp his own, but he didn't pull away from her or even question what she was doing. He might not have been the most intuitive person but even Alex could guess that this was something she needed. A sort of comfort. And he would provide that comfort for as long as he was able and as long as she wished for it because there was something special about Elaine that Alexandre couldn't quite put his finger on. He liked being around her; it was somehow different from when he was hanging around his other friends. There was something else there to which he was not entirely obvious but was not exactly clued in on either. He didn't know what it was but he liked it and so he tried to maintain it.

He chuckled when she spoke. "Flip that around, Elaine," Alex said thoughtfully. "You gave me a chance and we get along great, yeah? That's what needs to happen with you, I think." As long as people were willing to suck up their stupid desires to go ahead with the masses and follow the leader, Alex figured that a lot of people could get along that didn't. It wasn't like he was going to go frolicking amongst the Water students--fuck no--but he thought it was a little unfair how people shunned Elaine just because she was blind and they had their vision. It wasn't as if there was anything else different. She had a personality and a life like anyone else. She just lacked her vision, was all.

All the talk of her being alone was actually rather heartbreaking. Alexandre was not a very emotional person, but it did wrench his gut to hear her talking like that. Rather than staying silent and just lapsing in the grief of the moment, however, he spoke. "You might have felt alone before," he said, "but you aren't now." Because he sure as fuck wasn't going to discard their friendship after this. There were people whom Alex got along with on a few occasions and then simply never contacted again, but he wasn't going to let Elaine be one of those cases. She was different, she was special, and their friendship was going to work whether she liked it or not. Alex wasn't very committed to a whole lot of things but he could be stubborn when it counted.

"I don't care what anyone else thinks," he said. "I'll be your friend. I am your friend."

[marci]

A soft smile actually found it's way onto Elaine's lips, thought it surprised her. Somehow she was feeling a lot better a lot faster than she usually did after breaking down. Could it be Alex? No...he couldn't be it. Right? She was probably just getting more used to everything that was gripping her. Or maybe she was just getting better at throwing her wall back up when it came crashing down. Well, either way the smile came, and though her face was still tear stained, her eyes were still puffy and her lungs still hurt, she was feeling better.

”Well, yes.” She said, ”Of course we get along great. We're--” She stopped, blushing as she realized that words that had almost come out of her mouth. We're a perfect match. Well, that was a perfect way to make things extremely awkward. Obviously she meant it as friends. They just sort of clicked when they hung out with each other, each being able to enjoy something about the other person. Still, it would be like an instant halt on the conversation, and she didn't want to have to deal with any misunderstandings or complications right now. Alex was a good friend, perfect for her right now. She had to change the track, so she said. ”We're never going to be able to force people to like me, though.”

She lowered her head when he told her she wasn't alone anymore. Yeah, that was raw. He continued, and she sort of hunched over, feeling heat in her cheeks. Elaine didn't really know what to say to that, but it would grow very odd for her to just stand there, senselessly aware of his form only a few feet away from her, feeling his eyes on her and feeling her own sightless gaze on the ground. So she tilted her head a little bit, smiling tentatively, ”Thanks.” Lame. But all she could muster right now.

Several seconds went by. Elaine became acutely aware of the cold, and the sound of people having a snowball fight a fair distance away. She took a deep breath through her nose, wincing a little as her lungs and throat complained via soreness. After awhile she was able to raise her head up again, no longer feeling withered or lost in front of Alex. She bit her lip for a little, moving her head from side to side to make sure she couldn't hear anyone else nearby. It was hard enough to act like this around one person.

”Can I...” She blushed a little, but continued, ”Can I look at you? With my hands, I mean.” She stopped there, but it barely took two seconds for her to realize that it might be a little confusing for Alex, so she said quickly, ”I mean, I've seen you with my wind, but I don't get as good a...picture, I guess. I've always been able to see better with my hands.” She'd tried to explain it to someone once before and they'd supplied that it was the difference between the vision of someone who needed glasses and someone who had perfect vision. She didn't know if that was accurate, but it sounded right.

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[alexandre]

She stopped rather suddenly and her cheeks went pink, confusing Alex. What had she been about to say? "What?" he prompted quietly. She didn't really seem all that upset about what she'd been in the middle of saying and so he didn't assume that it was a bad thing, else he never would have asked. Alexandre didn't like to modify his words and actions to save someone's feelings but he would withhold from pushing them in a direction they didn't want to go if it was clear enough the path would be painful. Pain didn't make you blush like that though, right?

Elaine said something about forcing people to like her, and that made Alexandre furrow his brow a little. It certainly sounded like a rather grim way to amend the sentence which had caused her to blush. But she wouldn't lie to him, right? No, he didn't believe that Elaine would lie. She was too genuine for that. Maybe she was remembering a situation that had caused her to blush or something. Yes, that had to be it. Alex chuckled. "No one said anything about forcing them," he pointed out, and the smile was back on his face again. "I just meant that a lot more people would like you if they just gave it a chance like you did for me." And he truly and whole-heartedly believed that--it was evident in his tone.

She asked if she could see him and the confusion returned. With her wind, did she mean? He'd already told her that it was fine to use her 'sight' as long as he wasn't distracted with other things which right now he was not. He opened his mouth to respond with something like, 'Yes of course, why would I stop you?' but before he could even get a single word out of his mouth she was quickly amending her own. With her hands, she said. She wanted to be able to see him with her hands. He thought about that for a moment and realised what that must entail. She could probably 'see' through a sense of touch, and this made sense to him even though he'd never experienced it himself seeing as he was not blind.

All the same, Alexandre nodded. "Yeah, sure," he replied, then gently took her wrists in his hands. "Whatever you need to do." He guided her hands to his face so that she didn't need to use her wind to 'find' him and smiled a little. It felt strange to take her hands (or wrists, really) and it produced a bit of a flush in Alexandre's own cheeks, so he was for once glad that she couldn't take those visual cues in case they made her curious as Elaine's own blushing had done to him earlier.

[SHORT. X.X I'm sorry D:]

[marci]

Elaine was relieved—no, that was too weak a word—when Alex took her amended statement for what she had meant to say. She couldn't believe he didn't have some doubts about it, but at least he was allowing her a little bit of a defense between him and the impulsive thoughts of her psyche. She didn't want to just suddenly break and throw up her entire person on him, metaphorically speaking. There was a lot to her, and he'd probably drown or run away. And she'd feel the worse for everything. So she just let her smile grow a little more sure when he kept going with that train of conversation, nodded a little when he gave clarification.

”Well....Maybe.” She said. She didn't know why it was so hard for her to admit that what he was saying was true. She basically believed it was, at this point. But there was still something there that was holding the words back. Maybe it was exhaustion. She knew how to deal with loneliness, for the most part. If it was her part then it would never change and she'd never have to adapt again. But if he was right and there were people other then he and Josh who would truly start to care about her, then she'd have to learn how to deal with the indignation at those who didn't. Maybe. Maybe she was just thinking too hard about this.

It took Alex a second to answer her, and she immediately felt like she had asked to much. She was just opening her mouth to redact her question when she felt his fingers close gently around her wrists. Her brow raised with surprise—she hadn't been expecting him to touch her—but she held back the little sound her mouth wanted to make. He spoke then, giving her permission. Anything she needed to do. She let out a long breath, then, muttering without realizing, ”That takes trust.” She didn't know if he'd heard her, but if he did he'd probably misunderstand her meaning. Even with her heightened senses, she still wasn't ready for people to touch her without warning. She'd thought she was, but if it had been just about anyone other than Alex, she might have responded badly to having her wrists grabbed.

She felt her hands touch his face, and using that as a sort of touch base, she lifted her hands away from him and started at his collarbones. Her gentle touch took in all the details as she explored his neck, the line of his jaw, the shape of his cheeks and nose. She was extra gentle with the eyes, her fingers fluttering over them only for a second before her slow touch moved on. A smile crept up on her, growing larger with each passing moment that she 'looked' at him. Finally, when she'd felt his face, she let her fingers enter his hairline for a few seconds before pulling her hands away.

”You're very handsome.” She said, and even though she didn't know the secular meaning of that word, she was convinced that she was right about Alex. She liked the way he looked—or felt. The slight blush she'd gained when she'd asked to look at him grew a little stronger, and she ducked her head a little bit. She wondered if he thought she was pretty. But no instance on earth could induce her to ask him that. So all she said was, ”Thank you.”

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