spazz if you want to [sandra]

[ELLIOT NATHAN YEAGER]

Sometimes -- or rather a lot of times -- Yeager didn't really enjoy being home. He had a stocked fridge, video games, a trampoline and pool in the back but he also had his sister and grandmother. His mother had left a month ago to go on tour again, and he missed her because surprisingly, she was a good balance for him. She had crazy stories, but she wasn't crazy like his grandmother or his sister or a lot of his other relatives. But now she was gone, and he was left at the mercy of his sister and mother. That usually meant card or board games with them. That night it had been Monopoly, in retrospect not a good idea. Whatsoever. At all. In any universe.

"Glor, stop stealing from the bank!" Yeager gestured at the money tucked under the game board. They had an older, nothing electronic, just cold hard cash and little figures.

The teenage girl scrunched her eyebrows together and gave him the dirtiest look. "You have Boardwalk, what the fuck do you care?"

"Watch your mouth," his grandmother said before taking the die. He noticed that Gloria did not return the money to the place it was before, and for a while it looked like it would actually turn out good and they might have some family bonding. He was wrong.

In the middle of charging her for landing on Park Place, she flicked over his houses. "The hell, Glor?" he asked as he picked them up and as he moved to replace them, she flicked the rest of his houses off the board, which caused her to flick more of the houses off, which caused him to throw the game money at her, which caused her to yell out to their dads, which led to them yelling at the kids to clean up, which led to him heading upstairs and getting his coat on, muttering about how little girls and Satan. Spying a small bag from Target -- and this was not from Target, as far as he knew -- he grabbed it and shot a last minute text to Sandra. "If you're free meet me at Burger King."

It wasn't too late, but usually people couldn't do stuff last minute. At least it was the weekend, so he figured people wouldn't be too busy. Unless they actually had a life. He did, he told himself when realizing this fact and the fact that his friend might be busy, but today was not a day for parties. He didn't know why he actually spent time with his family when it devolved into something like this. Hopefully, time with his friend could make up for that, considering that Sandra was okay for his sanity. Well, maybe not, but it wasn't like he was the most stable of people anyway.

Arriving at the place, he ordered and went to sit down with the bag beside him. When Sandra arrived, he waved, mouth full of burger. But he used one hand to pick up the little bag from beside him and plop it on the table. Inside was a few square packets. Those packets were condoms. Glow in the dark condoms, to be specific. Glow in the dark condoms which he did not really like considering they glowed in the dark and he just found that odd. "I figured you might have use for them," he said when he swallowed. He'd tried to hawk them off on Lisa, but that didn't work. "I don't want them. I mean, they're kind of crazy and distracting but hey, you and the Deej might be into that." He set down the burger and wiped his fingers off with a napkin.

Half of him balked at the idea of talking about Sandra's sex life because this girl was like a sister to him, it was like talking to Gloria about it except Sandra was a good person and he knew she would make wise decisions. The other half kept himself from thinking that far, and accepted that his friends were gonna have sex lives and he'd just have to accept that. He wasn't a prude, but he also got protective of his girl friends, no matter how macho guy that sentiment was. At least he actually cared.

[SANDRA HARU CHANG]

Luckily for Yeager, who sounded kind of desperate for some company even just through text, Sandra wasn't in fact busy when her phone buzzed on the other side of the room, telling her that someone had texted. Her brother was out, her boyfriend and many of her friends had seemed to be busy in something or other, and Sandra had basically decided that it would be a quiet evening napping or something in front of the TV. Upon reading the text, though, she figured it couldn't be that bad to go out for a bit when it involved seeing Yeager -- whom she hadn't seen in a while, actually -- and food. Okay, she had also been too lazy to eat dinner, but pfft, these were minor details. Be there in 5, she had texted him back, then grabbed her wallet and things and headed out the door, leaving a quick note for her brother that she was hanging out with Yeager and would be back later. He probably wouldn't be back before her, anyway -- hanging out with his college friends probably, in Sandra's estimation, meant drinking and doing stupid things -- but he was kind of a worrier sometimes. It was pretty needless, too, but that was Matthew and she was used to him, and besides which, Matt seemed to like Yeager enough at least.

She spotted Yeager already there when she arrived, having chosen to walk and so probably taking a little longer than he would have, and she waved to acknowledge his presence before ordering and getting her food. This done, she went and plopped her tray down across from Yeager. "So what's up?" she asked happily, as of yet unaware of what was happening with the bag from Target -- which, really, made sense, because Target was, although new in Canada, pretty innocuous. She started on her fries first, popping a few into her mouth before she started unwrapping the burger, waiting for him to speak. Only when he'd done so did she notice the bag now sitting on the table -- and to think she'd thought he'd put it there just for convenience. "Wait, huh?" She blinked, not really following, especially not when she heard mention of Devin's name (or nickname of some sort, anyway).

Sandra furrowed her eyebrows at him for a second before opening the bag, staring inside for a second. It took a while for her mind (innocent -- so, so innocent) to figure out what the little packets were and then, when she did so, her mouth fell open and she went red pretty quickly, quickly slamming the bag down on the table so that she couldn't see inside anymore. "I -- what -- Yeager!" she squeaked, staring at him like he had lost his mind or possibly was growing a third arm out of his forehead. Both of those things would be more likely than her finding a use for glow in the dark condoms, though. "And we totally wouldn't -- I mean -- what, I don't -- he doesn't -- at least, I don't think -- it's not like --" Her eyes were wide; her face was probably deepening in shade with every word. "Yeager!" she squealed again, settling this time for throwing a fry in his direction, not knowing what else to say. Actually, most of that hadn't even been sentences anyway.

[ELLIOT NATHAN YEAGER]

Yeager waited patiently for his friend, and it wasn't long before she came in and ordered. It was nice to think that he could have a nice evening with his friend after having to spend time with his family. Of course, everyone knew that he'd never been forced to spend time with his family and he actually went ahead himself and came up with ideas for them to do, but with the way he spoke about it, it would seem that he didn't enjoy it at all. And sometimes, like this time, he did not.

She asked what's up, and he snorted. Asking Yeager what was up was like asking for a long and detailed story about how much his life sucks right now. Exaggerating though he would be, he did have a mastery over words, one he used to tell sweeping tales. "Needed to get out of my house, as usual," he said. Sandra was no stranger to his family life. He didn't exactly hide what went on in the Yeager household, in fact he usually ranted about it whenever he could. "Monopoly got way too real. I mean, I'm a good person, I just want to play the game right. But along comes Miss I Steal Your Money, and then it's my fault that she can never get the high-priced colors. And then Nana thinks it's all chill to bank however she wants. People are ridiculous, is nothing sacred anymore, not even Monopoly?" His tale was filled with a lot of gesticulation, all told with the voice of a man regaling tales of being out at sea. He would be putting that game on the blacklist, along with Don't Break the Ice because of an incident he did not like to think of, let alone talk about.

Sandra's reaction was, for lack of better words, fucking hilarious. Thinking that may have been mean, but he couldn't help it. His face turned expectant as he waited for her to form a sentence he could actually follow, but it didn't happen. And he felt like he'd just told her that he was going to kill someone with the way she stared at him. He hadn't even threatened his family today, for God's sake, he was only trying to reach out and be a good friend. Okay, so he was really just trying to hand the condoms off to someone else.

He waited patiently, the blank expression on his face hiding the fact that he wanted to laugh at her. He wasn't rude now. He lifted his hands up as she threw a fry at him and managed to get out his name, and by that time he couldn't hold back a laugh. "Are you good? Not gonna choke?" he said facetiously as he lowered his hands. "I just figured that you two..." he gestured with his hands, spreading them as if to say he was completely innocent here, "...Might be in need of some love gloves. I mean, you guys are doing the nasty, right, it's been how long now?" He took a sip of his drink as he considered it. He'd been intimate with Raine since even before they were actually together, though the word intimate sounded silly to him. Physical might have been a better description of that relationship.

[SANDRA HARU CHANG]

Sandra had known Yeager since they'd both started at the Academy, basically, so she was used to his antics by now, and she just smiled a little bit when he said that he'd needed to get out of the house. She couldn't say that she often felt that way, because the apartment was comfy (as was her actual home with her parents) and she didn't have any crazy family members. Well, she had Matthew at the apartment, but he wasn't really crazy, even if he could be a little overbearing. "Monopoly is serious business," she agreed with a sage nod. "Monopoly Deal is really fun, though. The regular kind, not Millionaire." It was also more fun because the games took about fifteen minutes rather than, uh, seven hours or so, but then again Sandra got easily bored by these tedious things -- and there was no point in playing around in circles when the winner was clear by the fifth hour anyway. She liked Monopoly, though -- it was a pretty fun game... until she got bored. "What did your Nana do?" she asked, confusd -- Gloria's fault she could figure out, at least. "Remind me not to play Monopoly with your family." She figured that the board game had actually been Yeager's suggestion for whatever reason, but she didn't say that -- it was nicer to let him go on about his family. Plus, she liked the stories. They did make her feel very normal.

Sandra was surprised that she hadn't actually choked after all, because really, even with Yeager, she didn't often expect to be given random things like glow in the dark condoms. Actually, any condoms period were not welcome at a meal, and Sandra couldn't say that she had come much into contact with them, period. That, however, would require actually thinking about condoms, and that was so not even necessary in her life. Maybe that was weird. Was that weird? She had no idea. "I might still choke," she told him with a dark look, aware that she was probably still red -- she put her hands up to her cheeks and found that they were much warmer than normal. Aw, man. She probably looked like a tomato with hair. "No, we don't need --" She started spluttering and couldn't find proper words again, however. Half of her wanted to throw the bag at him, too, but then those things might go flying everywhere and that probably wasn't a good idea in public. "And I mean --" Sandra stopped, biting her lip for a second and looking at her friend with a bit of resentment still -- she was pretty sure he was just about to laugh at her. "A year. And like a week." Their anniversary had been just a while ago -- literally a year and a week, then, actually. "B-but I mean, no! I mean... no, we're not." She shifted in her seat a little bit, her eyes still a bit wide like a deer caught in headlights. "That's not weird, right?" Oh man, but maybe it was.

[ELLIOT NATHAN YEAGER]

Yeager -- deep down, deep in his heart -- really did love his family and defended them to the death. He may have been able to talk shit about his sister, but no one else could. In fact, many didn't. They thought she was sweet. Even though the love was there, he had no qualms about going off in a tangent when talking about their little game night. He clicked his tongue when Sandra spoke of Monopoly Deal. "I'm a Monopoly purist," he told her because yes, Monopoly was serious business. He only played the original. He liked sticking to what he knew. That's why his favorite game would always remain Mario Kart. "She was the one letting Gloria steal," he said, throwing his hands up. "And not to mention she always makes sure the die roll off the board and flips it when it's on the ground." He was so onto her. He lived in a house full of cheaters and it was practically all he could. No more games for a while, then. Giving Sandra a pointed look, he told her gravely, "No." She most certainly did not want to play with them. Though come to think of it, they might treat her a lot better than they did him. He was family; she was not. Therefore, she was automatically better than him.

A part of him felt like a roving sex ed advocate, handing out random condoms whenever he felt the need. Because hey, safe sex was where it's at. He didn't want any unwanted issues. He nodded slowly as she told him that she might still choke, still holding back an amused expression for her benefit because he was a damn good friend. So now he knew that her and Devin's sex life was a point of shyness for her (as it was for most people) and he supposed that's a good thing. His big brother complex wanted to say no, she cannot have sex until he has committed a blood oath to her. He leaned back as she stammered through her explanation. Maybe Yeager moved fast. He heard that could have been a problem for some people, but that had never been a factor in his mind. "I don't know, doesn't that mean you're just like...friends?" He side-eyed her. A year and a week without sex. That sounded painful. But this was him. "But I mean, you guys are doing something right, you're still together and everything. Congratulations, by the way, I usually can't stand half of people for longer than five minutes." He nodded after saying this, as if verifying the truth of the matter. His arms crossed over his chest, he told her, "As a matter of fact, I might need some tips from you, because I haven't even been in a relationship for a year and now I have Raine and I'm pretty sure I'm rusty and i"m going to end up doing something stupid like forgetting her birthday." It had been a long time since he'd actually needed to worry about things like that. And he was bad enough with birthdays, as is. Now he had another important person in his life to focus on.

[SANDRA HARU CHANG]

Sandra just shook her head. "Hey! You'll never know if you don't try," she said, nodding at him very seirously. She enjoyed Monopoly, but she did not have six or seven hours to spend drudging around a board waiting for someone to become a tycoon and buy out the rest of the players. No way. "That's it, you're coming over sometime to play Deal with us. And we won't even go easy on you." She was sure she could convince Matthew to play with them -- if he wasn't busy doing some art or homework or something, or possibly mooning over their neighbour. Yeah, her brother could probably use a card game to play for a bit. "But all your hotels will go flying everywhere. See the problem with regular Monopoly?" she asked, shaking her head. It was so much easier with the Deal cards! Sandra just nodded seriously in response to his single word. "Didn't think so." Then again, she didn't think his family was as bad as he made it out to be, but it was easier to let him ramble, even though she had no clue why he'd think Gloria was some kind of devil spawn. The girl seemed just fine to her.

"No!" she said, protesting immediately against his first question before going quiet and stuttery again, shaking her head a little. "I mean... no. We're friends," she told him, gesturing between herself and Yeager with a fry in hand, still prepared to throw this one at him too should he attempt to make further inquiry about her sex life (which did not, by the way, actually exist). "Devin is... I dunno. Not." She was stupid and giggly now though, and she just shook her head. If sex were the criteria for a romantic relationship, then that was a serious problem -- Sandra never really gave it much thought. She hadn't really thought about whether Devin did either, obviously. "But thanks! It's been... I mean... yeah," she said, the grin back on her face now that she was back on relatively comfortable terrain, discussing of all things her one-year anniversary. "Plus we've been talking here today for longer than five minutes, you know," she pointed out, pouting a little bit as if he had personally told her that he was tired of her company. She didn't think he actually was, but maybe, then again.

Sandra smiled. "Oh, oh, you and Raine are gonna be the cutest," she said enthusiastically, her eyes lighting up immediately. Two of her friends getting together was cause for happiness, clearly. "And it's October 13th and sometimes that's a Friday the 13th, in October, like right before Halloween, and you'd better never get her the same thing as me. Unless she can use two. Then okay." She said this with the same excitement. "Oh, and you'd better be good to her, I dunno if I told you that yet." That was an obligatory message for a best friend to deliver and all that. Sandra wasn't particularly tough, but she had Raine's back. The awkwardness of a few moments ago momentarily forgotten, she unleashed all this information on him at once -- poor guy would probably never remember that. "And if you guys are good to each other then it'll be fine!" Then again, that was a pretty optimistic view on this, but Sandra... wasn't exactly an expert -- long-lasting relationship aside.

[ELLIOT NATHAN YEAGER]

Hanging out with Sandra instead of his demon relatives was a much better experience for him. And his sanity. And possibly his well-being. Unless Sandra suddenly became violent and evil. Then he'd have to put her down. "Eugh, peer pressure!" he whined, clapping his hands over his ears when she said that he would be playing Monopoly Deal with the siblings. "I don't blame flying residences on Monopoly, I blame it on people who have aggression issues that they need to work out." He'd never played with Sandra and Matt, so he wasn't sure if he would have to worry about any cheating. Some of his friends had done it before, and honestly, who hadn't? He certainly tried his hand at cheating a few times, though he stopped since he tended to get caught.

Sandra was really all over the place. He could feel the awkward. Is she a virgin? It had never occurred to him before because he really, really did not like thinking about someone he considered his sibling in that way. She was a completely sexless being in his eyes, though he didn't think he'd be telling her that any time soon. So this conversation was odd and jarring and no, she should not be having sex because she was cute little Sandra who possibly had narcolepsy and ate too much hot sauce. "Wellllll," he said after she told him that Devin was definitely not a friend. "Only do it when you are ready and don't feel pressure by society's norms. Or hey, some people never have sex. Though I really don't know what they do with their lives, sounds boring." He had started out as a health pamphlet and ended up sounding like a douche. Of course he didn't mean it, life without sex just seemed...weird.

He decided that he better get back to his food, taking some fries and eating them as Sandra thanked him and said that they'd been talking for longer than five minutes. "You're the half of people I can stand," he said with a nod. "The other half can suck a railroad spike." With how he spoke, it sounded like he was more of a jerk than he actually tended to be. He just liked to believe he was honest. If he didn't like you, he would make it known and summarily never talk to you ever again.


He couldn't help but smile a little at Sandra's words. It felt good, being together with Raine, and he'd forgotten how much he'd actually liked being with someone. "Clearly I'm the cuter one in this relationship, I mean look at my hair. I'm adorable." He held his hands palm-up and shrugged. In his mind, though, his thoughts were different. They were of how Raine looked when she smiled and her eyes when he told a joke. Who was the cute one in that case?

He blinked and lifted his eyebrows when Sandra easily stated his girlfriend's birthday, along with the fact that it was sometimes Friday the 13th. "You'd be a better girlfriend to her than I am a boyfriend, goddamn." Yeager shook his head as if to clear his head of that. As for the whole present deal, there were several jokes that he could make that he didn't want to. However, a more important matter was what she said next. Sandra pulled the protective card. She did it, right there with him. Though he may not have looked it, he was actually amused, which brought about his next words. "Whooaaa, are you pulling the overprotective friend act on me?" His mouth opened wide, looking completely flabbergasted. "This is me! You know what, okay, I can see where worry comes in for her, but I always have the best of intentions." He nodded his head. He'd never head out to hurt anyone he got together with. If he was in a relationship, he did it for a reason. If he just wanted sex out of it, then he would have kept their relationship as it had always been. Of course, he didn't go around talking about that, even if Sandra was his friend.

He leaned back into his chair a bit, grabbing some more fries. "I really like her. I'm just rusty. Do you remember my last girlfriend? Darla? I should have known things would have sucked just by her name. She checked my drawers all the time to find out if I was cheating on her." That was pretty bad, considering that she obviously didn't trust him as she should have in a relationship. He got jealous, because who didn't, but he always made it a point to trust his girlfriends. "Not that Raine is that crazy, it just sucks that my most recent relationship was defined by my sock drawer." He never wanted to go through that again, and that was why he'd broken it off. And of course she was angry. And of course it had been a mess.

[SANDRA HARU CHANG]

She pouted a little bit when he started whining at her. "I just wanted to show you something cool and fun! Just trust me!" she protested, giving her best puppy dog eyes because yes, now this was serious. She and Matthew were going to show Yeager a fun game of Monopoly Deal whether he was okay with it or not. She didn't even know if Matt really liked the game, actually -- the pack at home was hers -- but he had definitely at least played it, which was more than Yeager was willing to do. "And it's harder to cheat in this one. So you can play with Gloria!" She wasn't a cheater, anyway, mostly because Sandra just didn't take anything that seriously to bother... but also because she was a terrible liar and she'd be caught immediately. It was a lucky thing she was never tempted, really.

Mostly, Sandra thought it was funny that Yeager was trying to give her advice on this kind of thing, but she just nodded a few times, trying to be serious and not giggle nervously. Uh... it was probably very unsuccessful. "Yes, sir!" she chirped happily anyway, glad that he seemed to be wrapping up the topic, more or less. None of this was anything new to Sandra, except for maybe the last part about a sexless life being boring. That was something she wouldn't know. "There are probably other things you can do in your free time," she said lightly instead of having a more defensive reaction. She figured this was just Yeager being Yeager. "You know, like playing Monopoly and stuff." That didn't seem like a substitute for sex, but hey, whatever -- Sandra didn't know anything about that. Apparently, though, many people would choose a lifetime's supply of Olive Garden breadsticks over sex, so at least one thing was better.

She laughed a little, then got serious and pretended to wipe sweat from her brow in a short flicking motion of her wrist. "That was a close one, I was starting to think you didn't like me," she said, pretending to breathe a sigh of relief. Sandra was smiling the whole time, though -- it wasn't believable at all. She wasn't cut out for this acting thing. "And I don't know what that means, but other people aren't that bad," she said patiently. She tended to like most people she came into contact with, though, which... was apparently rare. Sandra just loved people in general.

Though generally not an observant person, she didn't miss the smile on his lips this time, and it only served to broaden her grin too. She liked seeing her friends happy -- and they were happy with each other, which was good, because she knew that they would be good to one another and there was no need to deal with something later. Of course, there were probably other issues involved with having a few of her close friends dating, but she just ignored those. Things happened. "Raine's hair is cute too," she pointed out -- she really did like Raine's hair, for real -- but she figured he was kidding and she smiled. "Nuh uh, could never date her," she said. The obvious problems aside, Sandra was very content being the girl's best friend. "You'll figure that stuff out! Don't worry! Soon you'll remember. And if you want I can remind you when it's almost her birthday," she said, though she'd probably forget herself. Well, that was, she'd forget to remind Yeager -- the chances of her forgetting Raine's birthday were much slimmer than that.

She just gave him a serious look when he acted surprised at the protectiveness. "I wouldn't say it's being overprotective," she said, but she smiled after a second. "I know it's you! And I trust you! But I'm just saying, just in case, you're being warned like... right now." Sandra nodded. Of course, she wouldn't be very happy with Raine either if something happened to Yeager, but there was some kind of unspoken rule or something that she shouldn't say that to her best friend. Sandra didn't make the rules, she just followed them like a sheep. "Yeah, but Darla was crazy," she pointed out, wrinkling her nose a little at the memory. It was hard to forget things that Yeager told her -- he had a particular way with words. "What happened to her, anyway?" She couldn't remember if he'd told her that exact detail or not. Luckily, however, he was right -- Raine wasn't that crazy, and Sandra trusted both of them not to do really crazy things like raiding one another's sock drawers. "It's okay, I think I'd be more worried if you had a loooot of experience with having a girlfriend. You'll be fine!"

[ELLIOT NATHAN YEAGER]

Sandra really was terribly nice, wanting to show him the joys of Monopoly Deal even when he was like an old person who didn't want to learn how to use the Internet or a smart phone. "Oh joy, that's all I want to do with my life, play games with Gloria," he deadpanned. Then he sighed. "Well as long as she can't cheat or throw things, might be okay." But she could likely turn anything into a weapon, and where did that put them? It really bummed him out, having a demon as a sibling.

Living without sex did sound really suckish. Okay, he could do without it for a while, it wasn't like food or water, but at some point he had to put his dick in something. A life of celibacy sounded more like a punishment than anything else. "That must be why old people like puzzles so much, they can't get it up." He wrinkled his nose. It would suck to be that old. He hoped he died before he got old. "You can travel the world instead of having sex. Have a barbecue. Kind of want some barbecue now. I mean like, not a hamburger but ribs or something..." He trailed off, now entirely distracted from his point as he looked at his food. Where had he been in the beginning even? All he could think of was barbecue.

Luckily for Sandra, people he didn't like knew he didn't like them. He almost laughed at her next words, his shoulders rising as he held it back. "It means they can fuck themselves," he told her of his choice in euphemism. Clearly he and Sandra had different views. They were different people. She didn't think people were that bad, and that was how she operated. However, he was a little more selctive.. "That's because you're a nice person," he said. "People aren't very bad in your eyes." He shrugged. Not that he went around hating exactly half the people he met, but he was...well, he was Yeager and though he had many friends, he had just as many enemies. Most of them could be found in the Fire and Thunder elements.

Raine's hair was cute. Raine's hair was definitely cute. Everything about her was cute. Goddammit, I'm not going to blush. He refused to. "Mine's cuter," he said, pulling at a curl. He was fucking adorable until he opened his mouth. And even some of the faces he made couldn't be registered on a cute meter because they were obviously malicious. "What, you have some dirt on her?" he asked when Sandra said she could never date Raine. He already knew a lot about her, but he didn't know everything. The important thing was that Sandra said that she'd remind him, and he said, "Thanks," while wondering if his memory could be counted on. Hopefully. He forgot his, sometimes, he was only human. He had one byte of memory, at best.

This really was being overprotective, and he knew that because he got that way about his sister. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn't help it. Yeager lifted an eyebrow. Sandra acting tough? That was actually really, really annoying. "Oh yeah? I'm being warned? What are you gonna do, Sandy?" It was a challenge, because he couldn't imagine her lifting a hand against him.

Sandra asked after Darla, someone they both remembered well, and he took a furtive glance around before leaning in and saying, "They took her far away." He nodded slowly and leaned back to take a sip of his soda. "I actually don't know. I broke up with her and she posted passive aggressive statuses on her Facebook, but hopefully she's learned and grown as a person." The last words were stated as if he were in an afterschool special, clearly sarcastic. Though he did hope that she wasn't terrorizing someone else. He nodded his head at her next words. "A lot of exes is probably indicative of being a horrible boyfriend, yeah," he agreed. He at least didn't have a long list to show her. For how long they'd been friends, she had been around for his relationships.

He reached over and took the bag from the table, figuring that she wouldn't be needing those. "Anyone you know who could use some light saber condoms?" he asked her, shaking the bag a bit before picking up what was left of his burger.

[SANDRA HARU CHANG]

Sandra just shook her head at him. "If you didn't want to play games with Gloria, then you wouldn't! But you always do!" Whatever Yeager said about it, he was obviously innately more than willing to play games with his sister... though she doubted he would ever admit it. It was either that, though, or he just really wanted to put himself through some kind of small-scale torture, because he sure did complain a lot for someone who willingly did things like that. "I mean unless she gives you a paper cut with the cards, but it hasn't happened to me yet!" Thank goodness for that -- Sandra had managed to hurt herself doing any number of things (it usually involved falling asleep and hitting her head on something) but paper cuts were the worst.

She just bawked at him when he talked about old people having sex... or not having sex, rather. "Yeager!" she squeaked again, shaking her head disapprovingly and a little bit frantically. These were thoughts she had never entertained and certainly did not want to. Luckily, however, food was possibly one of her greatest weaknesses, and so she was quickly distracted at the mention of barbecue. "You should throw a barbecue!" she said happily, feeling that it would probably taste better than Burger King -- which, while acceptable enough, just wasn't that good, come on now. "And I can come and steal all your food! I'll even bring my own hot sauce!" Well, of course she would -- on both counts.

"Oh," she said in response, tilting her head to one side and then nodding. "Did you make that up or do people actually say that?" Sandra was clearly not up to date with the slang of kids these days -- which was weird, because she spent a lot of time talking to people, but maybe they weren't the right people for this. "Hey, you're a pretty nice person too, Yeager!" she protested, even though technically she didn't think he'd actually said that he wasn't. It was implied. Yeager was pretty nice, though, in his own strange way. She probably wouldn't talk to him otherwise -- Sandra tended only to keep around the people she liked, and those people were generally not terrible people.

She giggled and resisted the temptation to reach over and ruffle his hair -- it was so curly! It was like magic! "If you say so. It's curlier, at least!" she told him, grinning. "And no, no dirt, but she's like... she's my best friend!" She waved her hands around in the air. Sandra didn't know everything about Raine, but she liked to believe that she came pretty dang close, actually. It was the same way she'd never date a guy best friend, either -- she and Devin had been close, sure, but not... quite there. Of course he was a whole other story now. "Plus I wouldn't tell you anyway even if I did have something on her," she pointed out, because that was against the girl code or something, if that was even a thing.

Sandra crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at him, trying not to ruin it by laughing. It didn't work -- she started giggling almost immediately. Still, she had to think of some kind of threat -- she wouldn't threaten the guy with physical violence, of course not, but her face lit up a little bit when she figured it out. Eureka! "I'll buy Gloria a new board game to play with you! Something with a lot of tiny pointy objects." Oh yeah, Sandra played hardball. Okay, so she probably wouldn't actually do anything in retaliation, but oh boy, she would not be happy with Yeager -- not that this meant much, really, because she was pretty bad at being angry with people, but still. She'd at least glare at him for two days straight or something.

For a brief second she thought he was being serious and her eyes widened a little, wondering what on Earth the girl could have done to warrant such a thing, but then she realized it was a joke. Oh. Yeah, Yeager did say things like that, didn't he? Somehow it still caught her offguard sometimes. "Well that's not too bad. At least she didn't freak out," she said genially, trying to make light of the situation, but Yeager was right. Darla had been crazy as heck. "Why'd you even like her in the first place?" she asked, then blinked. "Wait that sounded really bad. I mean like... I'm guessing she wasn't that crazy before?" Her attempt to amend the question probably failed. Ah well. Darla kind of semi-deserved it -- Yeager did some wack things, but he was probably worth trusting.

She went red again for a moment at the words "light saber condoms", her eyes making their way to the bag warily, but she shook her head. "Nuh uh. I didn't even know they existed," she mumbled, averting her eyes for a second to look carefully at her food, which was mostly gone.

[ELLIOT NATHAN YEAGER]

Yeager narrowed his eyes when Sandra made a very good point. He was a big softy, underneath all these complaints. He really loved playing with his family. He just tended to be a drama queen. "Yeah, well your face is weird," he shot back, eloquent as usual. He just didn't want to admit that he loved his baby sister, even if she wasn't actually his sister. They always treated each other like blood relatives. Sandra spoke of giving a papercut with cards, and he blinked slowly. Oh god. Oh dear god. "I'm pretty sure she can make it possible to give a lethal paper cut." If she aimed for the throat, might be completely possible. That's it. He would die playing a card game.

He snickered when she seemed scandalized by the idea of old people not being able to get it up. Maybe he was just a little too mean to her. However, she got real excited about a barbecue, even telling him that she would be stealing the food. "Then you're not invited," he said, as if he were a little kid, the same mocking sort of voice. More seriously, he told her, "I'll probably have one in the summer. Luke likes to break out the grill sometimes." A lot of people usually ended up coming to, not only family but friends and hamburger enthusiasts. They always ended up being nice little gatherings, and despite what he said, Sandra would certainly be invited.

He shrugged at her question. "I've heard it used before. I have an entire repertoire of euphemisms to dish out." The boy was just that skilled. Of course, he did like to get creative. There was only so many times that you could say "go fuck yourself" before that got boring. It actually felt nice for Sandra to give him a compliment like that. She was too sweet. "I have the capacity to be nice." Did it always happen? No, of course not, he had his limits. He was generally laid back but he could turn into a spazzatron at the drop of a hat.

At least he didn't look disappointed when Sandra didn't have any dirt. He wasn't that kind of guy that was suspicious of anyone he was with. He trusted Raine, that was something he was the best at. Then she told him that even if she had dirt, she wouldn't be telling him. Rolling his eyes, Yeager said, "Good friend. Steel trap." He certainly wasn't worried. He probably had more shit than Raine did, but sometimes he didn't have the highest view of himself.

He smiled when Sandra started to laugh when she tried to be the serious best friend. Definitely did not work out for her. But the threat was very disturbing, and not one he wanted her to follow through on. "That's cruel. You wouldn't do that to me. What if I choke on a small object?" Apparently that warning was only for three-year-olds, but there had been incidents. Not only children had issues with small playing pieces if they were used incorrectly and as a weapon. A spoon in Gloria's hand could be considered a weapon.

Sandra was right, it was a good thing that there hadn't been a freakout on Darla's part. I dated a Darla, holy shit. He didn't think he could ever forgive himself for that. "Probably talked shit on me to her friends, that's for sure." He didn't mind. Especially since those weren't his friends. Her question made him wince, though that was just because he had even gotten involved with this chick in the first place. "There's a lot of things that you don't know getting into a relationship with someone. Her little quirk was that she got jealous at the drop of a hat. But before that, she was nice and she was hot and we were friends." All the signs pointed to a good time. However, being in a friendship with someone and being in a relationship with someone were two very different things.

Yeager noticed the way she averted her eyes. Did it really bother her that much? He blamed the education system. All that abstinence bull instead of giving teens love gloves and saying "be careful." Because that would be encouragement. He finished up his burger and crinkled the paper that had been around it in his hands. "You wanna catch a movie or something?" he asked, wanting to go out and actually do something instead of just chilling in Burger King all day.

[SANDRA HARU CHANG]

Sandra frowned at him. "Yeah, well... your hair is weird," she said. Slick. She had never claimed to be good at smacktalk, okay, not that saying that her face was weird was good either, but that was certainly much better. Of course, her insult was personal. She glared at him in what was hopefully seriousness, anyway, but she cracked a smile soon enough. "I don't think even Gloria can do that," she said patiently, even though she actually thought Gloria was really cute. Then again, Sandra thought all children were cute... also a good deal many teenagers, and adults, and a lot of old people. She just thought everything and everyone was cute. "It's not like I'm telling you to play Spoons or something! That can be a dangerous card game." Metal spoons could be painful, after all. At least the game wasn't called Knives.

She pretended to wipe a tear from her eye when he said that she wasn't invited. "But that's so mean! I thought we were barbecue buddies!" She didn't know what it would even mean to be a barbecue buddy, but she really wasn't okay with not being invited. Actually... if it actually happened like that then she was sure that Yeager had his reasons, but it would be pretty sad if it was just because he thought she'd really eat all the food. Sandra liked to eat, but she wasn't that crazy... usually. "I bet Luke is like a grill master," she said happily, though she really had no idea. "And I'd better be invited, or else I'll just crash the party and really steal all the food." She liked Yeager's family, too, no matter what he said.

Yeager sure did have a lot of funny things to say, and Sandra tilted her head to the side to look at him questioningly. "Did you make a whole list? Maybe one day you can publish them all in a book," she said, smiling cheerfully. She actually didn't curse very much, and she never really felt the need to tell anyone ever to go fuck themselves, but actually, that book would be very popular, she was sure. "Well, I think you're nice," she reaffirmed. "When you want to be, anyway! Which is what counts!" When she wanted to be, Sandra could also be... well, not mean, but certainly not nice either, so that was something, maybe, possibly. "Thanks! You betcha." She grinned when he said that she was a good friend to Raine, then closed her lips and pretended to lock them and toss the key over her shoulder. In reality, though, she didn't think there was anything in particular that she would need to keep from Yeager, nothing that he probably didn't already know.

She frowned when he brought this up, then shook her head adamantly. "Then you'd just better not do anything to hurt Raine, right?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. Right. That was legit -- she'd stick to her guns! She could be the serious, threatening, really cool best friend. Sandra doubted she'd be able to go through with the plan in real life, though she really didn't think Yeager would choke on anything, but she could sure as heck act tough right now. "But I mean even if you did I think it's your loss anyway," she said like the completely unbiased friend that she was. "But... seriously, I think you guys are cute, so try to like, y'know, stay cute and stuff." She grinned, dropping the serious act completely. She wasn't very good at it anyway.

Talking shit to friends was, Sandra was pretty sure, just a normal, typical response to a break-up. Well, she didn't really have any firsthand experience, but friends had sometimes come to her complaining about recent exes and what-not. Yeager was one example, actually, but in the case of his break-up with Darla, he'd mostly been complaining that she was crazy, and she didn't really blame him. "Probably. Tried to slander your reputation and everything, but at least she didn't get any dirt on you while she was checking your drawers, right?" She wasn't actually suspicious of him at all but she gave him a look and narrowed her eyes just the same before giggling. Nah, she didn't suspect him of anything -- he was a friend! "But did she really just get jealous for no reason?" She found this hard to believe, but there were many things that she had always found it hard to believe about Darla -- starting with her name.

Sandra was just about finished her food now too, with the exception of a few fries. They were kind of cold and gross at this point, but she ate them just the same, biting one in half and checking the time when he asked if she wanted to go see a movie. "Ooh, yeah! Except I guess I should probably be getting home," she said, realizing that actually it was kind of getting late at this point -- they'd been sitting here for a while. Matthew wasn't the boss of her (she claimed, as a stubborn little sister) but still, note or no note, she figured it was best not to annoy him by coming home later or anything. A movie would ensure she stayed out for at least a couple of hours. "But maybe like, this weekend sometime!" She paused. "Or even during the week really. It's not like I'm gonna study or something in that time." That would be pure nonsense, and anyone who suggested that Sandra had good study habits would be deeply mistaken, or a compulsive liar.

[ELLIOT NATHAN YEAGER]

Mouth in an 'o' shape, he looked broken as Sandra insulted his hair. Oh dear. Oh dear god. His hair was his everything. She spoke again, saying how she didn't believe Gloria could actually harm him like that, and he wondered if he ever told her about the suffocation incident. "I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of my heart breaking into a billion pieces," he said, his voice tight as if he were about to cry. His hair, though. "Never played or heard of Spoons, so I'll take your word," he said, dropping the act then to express his confusion. Now he'd played Black Bitch. Never a good idea, actually. He learned that a little too late.

Yeager shook his head when she wiped a tear from her eye. No sympathy for barbecue nappers. "Sorry, bro, I can't sacrifice my barbecue for anyone." It was very true. Outdoor cooking was very sacred in his upper-class white family. Well, four-fifths white family. He laughed when she spoke of Luke. "Oh, he is. Like, it has to be a passion of his or something." He tended to be a little ditsy with most things, though when you put him in front of a grill or gave him a tool, he was pro. His husband usually left all the housework to him, being that the last time he tried to fix something, the bathroom flooded. "Ahhh, you know you are? You're the Hamburglar. Holy shit, I crack myself up." He really did as he leaned back, grasping his stomach as he felt like he was going to die right then and there.

The Water elemental shook his head and tapped his temple. "All right here. I don't want to give away my secrets." And did she honestly expect him to write a book? Hell, he could barely read a book without losing interest unless it was something to do with science. Which was sad and something that he never told people. With her next words, he patted his chest, his expression pained. "Oh Sandy," he said in his best John Travolta. "You make me weep." It really was adorable that she found him nice, because yeah, he liked to think he was when he chose to be. He was a helpful dude, though his teachers didn't view it the same way.

Yeager huffed when Sandra continued her threatening. "Well, I can't promise that I won't snap if she takes the last piece of pizza." Now he was not going to defend himself again, instead he would be a sarcastic shit. He wasn't really taking her seriously because he knew his goal was not to cause any trouble for Raine and be gifted by her "bestie" with a game of a million tiny pieces. "Ouch Sandy, and here I thought you loved me too. Your true colors are showing," he told her when he claimed that it'd be his loss. It really would, wouldn't it? He was glad to hear her return to her words of how cute they were. Damn right he was cute with her. "Oh man, wait until you see our Christmas cards this year. We'll be so adorable." He gave a sigh. A long way into the future, but he believed they would make it. He wanted to make it.

Wearing his "I am completely innocent, just swoon with my boyish charms," expression, he met her gaze evenly. "Don't worry, I hide my diary under my bed. She didn't check there." Living with the people he did, he'd never hide a diary. Though it made him wonder if Gloria had one and whether he actually wanted to see what was inside it. He decided that no, no he did not. He snorted at Sandy's words about Darla's jealousy. Clearly she was doubting him, which was funny because it almost seemed like she had no idea that jealous people existed. Maybe it was because of her limited relationship experience? He didn't think too much on that. "She was a jealous person," he said, canting his head slightly as he considered. "I mean, who knows why that is. Maybe she had an ex who cheated on her or something." He hadn't really talked to her about her relationship history and that kind of thing. They hadn't actually gotten that close. Probably because of all those issues.

Apparently she should be getting home. Of course Sandra wouldn't just live a little. Pssh, loser. Stretching his arms up, he laced his fingers behind his head and nodded. "Yeah, all right, I should probably get home. I left a little unceremoniously." He spoke the last word with an eye roll, punctuating his exasperation. Sometimes he did that, just left without telling anyone where he was going. And then he ended up getting in trouble when Gloria snitched. Lovely chain reaction, that was. As she spoke, he froze for a long time, appearing to have zoned off. Then he shook his head and said, "I was trying to remember what 'study' meant. But yeah, I'll text you some time." It usually turned out to be as random as he did it today. Picking up his trash, he went over to throw it away and head back home, not realizing what he'd left behind.