An explanation of sorts

[HAYLEE EUNMI ROSE]

NAME: Winter
CHARACTERS:
Haylee Eunmi Rose
DEPARTURE DATE: Whenever I stopped posting, I don't know, it was a while ago.
RETURN DATE: I'm not really gone, I just can't be active.

REASONS FOR ABSENCE: So I feel like an apology is long due to the (2) people I was posting with. A lot of stuff came up all at once and I suddenly didn't have time to post anymore, so I'm sorry. Both of my grandma's have had cancer in the last year and a half. One had it in her thyroid, a year and a half ago. She was fine, but they removed the whole thyroid, and for those of you who don't know the thyroid is a very essential organ in terms of regulated things in your body. SO they're still trying to figure out the right cocktail of pills to give her for her particular body, to re-regulate things. On top of that she's diabetic and struggling with a pain killer addiction so every once an a while she gets pretty loopy. When I first disappeared it was because of her. The same day that my grandpa went in for double knee surgery she went loopy after dropping my grandpa off and got lost and was found by some stranger and sent to the emergency room. So both of them were in the hospital for a while, and I had to do a last minute house sitting.

When that was over, we found out my grandmother in Oregon (I'm in California) had cancer, and my dad fell apart for a little while, because that's his mother. She's okay now. She's done with her chemo and everything looks like its going to be okay. But I had to step up around our house especially for a while, because between work and worrying about his mother he just wasn't okay. And now his sister has breast cancer. She went in for her mastectomy a little while ago, so we'll see how that worked out for her. Through all of this, my mom has been on again off again sick for a few months now, so. Since my dad works all day, and my brother is only 10, I've been taking on extra housework which is no big deal, but does take away from my free time.

Anyway, things should be calming down a little bit at home, and in theory I should have more time on the computer. But it's getting to be crunch time for this semester in school so. Even though everyone is doing okay now, I'm still probably going to be extra busy with school. Between that, helping to take care of things at home, and spending time with my boyfriend whenever I can on the weekends, since he works all week, I might still be pretty unable to post very often, so I'm not sure if I want to even risk starting up threads again. :/ Which sucks, because I was really excited to be back to RPing. Hopefully when things calm down and school isn't such an time sucker, I'll be able to come back again for reals.

I try to log on every day, but I've been avoiding the cbox because I feel bad. >.>

tl;dr my family has been sick and I've had to step up. Things should be calming down, but school is nearing the end of the semester, so things are busier and more work heavy. I'm still here, but I should probably officially declare a hiatus, since I don't want to make people wait forever for me to post. :/

[NELL DOE DALE]

hey winter!

so glad to see you put up an absence, because i've been seeing you around sometimes and like WHERE HAVE YOU GONE? however, it's terrible to hear what's been going on in your family! cancer is so horrible, it runs in my family as well (uncle and grandmother died of it, and my aunt has uterine cancer after having just gone through ovarian cancer) and all that other stuff is just...ugh. don't even worry about it! i completely understand having to do something at the last minute and all that. so i definitely don't blame you for an explanation.

make sure to focus on school and don't stress about us. <33 and, just wanted to say, pop into the cbox! even if you aren't posting WE WANT TO TALK TO YOU OTHERWISE STARKY GETS SCARED AND HAS PANIC ATTACKS ABOUT YOU DYING OR SOMETHING SO DON'T DO THAT OKAY. ...anyhoots, just glad to hear you're okay. take it easy babe1

[CAITLYN AUBREE SOMMERLOT]

awww winter, obviously your family and school and everything else that you have to do is way more important than this. we'll see you around whenever you can be back but don't worry about us, take your time and i hope everything works out for the best. <3333

[HAYLEE EUNMI ROSE]

So things have actually got worse in some ways and better in others? My dad's mom is going to be here for a couple of days in a week, and seeing her should do him some good. But his sister has started chemo, and I love her I do, but she's over dramatizing things because that's what she does. Like, she stopped eating the week before she started dramatizing things. My mom understands that and is able to tell her to knock it off and take care of herself for her daughters sake and so that she actually can beat this. Plus, my mom has been surrounded by cancer recently, unfortunately, and one of her best friends just died from it. So she knows the ropes, and how it effects the body and etc. I don't get it, because I'm mostly disconnected, but she does. But my dad can't see any of this, because it's his big sister and he's scared. So he's falling apart and trying not to let anyone see it which means he's a bit on edge. Plus we just found out that his grandma took a turn for the worse. She's really old and this has been coming for a long time, but the timing sucks.

Okay, at this point is where I'd start thinking that this thread by another person is probably a bit made up or over-dramatized, but unfortunately it isn't. I promise this is unfortunately true, and I'm not making light of something people actually struggle with. It's a bad time for my dad's side of the family, to put it lightly. Plus, I feel like a terrible person because I'm a bit relieved that my dad is my step-father and all their genetic predispositions aren't in my blood. The cancer my mom's mom had, my only biological grandparent I actually know since my mom's dad is her step-dad, wasn't one that people are genetically inclined for. Also, I sort of hate myself because this stuff just isn't getting to me. I'll feel scared a bit sometimes, but mostly I don't feel anything? I trust that they'll be okay. My grandmas are both in the clear, and my aunt should be fine as long as she takes care of herself. His uncle also had cancer a while ago, and he's okay now too. That side of the family is resilient. I'm sure if things start to look bad I'll freak out, but I feel bad now because it's hitting my dad so hard, and I don't really feel anything. So somebody berate me for that, please.

Despite all of this I have a little bit of extra free time. I'm not sure if I'm good to come back to posting yet though. If I do it should probably be in the board for threads in the past, and with someone super understanding if I only have time for like a post a week. I'll probably start haunting the c-box again, though I feel a bit weird since I disappeared before I even really got to know anyone.

[RAINE SOPHIA ELLISON]

Honey, you don't need to hate yourself because you're not constantly in the dumps. You wouldn't be able to handle it if you were. Your body needs the breaks from the fear and the anger and all that jazz--not being scared all the time is a good thing. You've still gt a good grip on reality and on what's important, because you obviously do care for these people. Just because you aren't scared 24-7 doesn't mean you don't care (if that makes any sense). -hugs- I really hope you and your family make it through this. Props to your mom for dealing with the drama.

[NELL DOE DALE]

thank you for keeping us updated! <3 mostly for stark's sanity, but yanno... anyway, just focus on being with your family and taking care of yourself. times are rough for you, and we all understand this kind of thing, and i don't think it's dramatized at all haha. my family usually has a slew of health problems, as i said, so it's completely understandable. hope you're doing okay!