* NEVER SEEN A WITCH, [josh]

[NELL DOE DALE]

all i see are dark gray clouds,

IN THE DISTANCE MOVING CLOSER.

YOU ASK, "WAS SOMETHING WRONG?"

THAT I THINK, "YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT THERE IS."

"but we can't talk about it now."

Nell was really hoping that she could get a break when she got home, face burning and stomach aching and mood overall miserable. But Rafael was nipping at her heels, and she opened the door with an impatient look, biting down hard on her tongue. ”Nice place,” were his first words, and they were so absurd that she tilted her head and smiled at him. ”Yeah, I guess you don’t see a lot of nice places living in the ghetto, huh? Got a nice shithole downtown, I bet.” she said, and maybe she belonged back in the Bronx, back in their birthplace with her attitude right now. She loved family, how her relatives got under her skin. No, not family, not familia. Her family wasn’t Rafael, or ever her father. Because family were supposed to be people who trusted and loved each other unconditionally. The only family she knew came with too many conditions, how could anyone be accepted? ”What, do you want money from me now? Can’t get a job or what?” He pushed through the door, closing it behind him, and she hated that she couldn’t fight him off. She was just little ol’ Nell, with a puffy face and a sour expression. A little kid who fell off the monkey bars. ”Not many jobs can pay a few thousand bucks,” he said, looking around like a criminal, seeing what he could lift before anyone notices. Acting nonchalant with his hands in his pockets, but she knew his game.

She snorted. He had a point, especially with a kid like him. Everything about him shouted bad news, printed in neon caps. Who would want him in any respectable place? They didn’t even have to know his personal life to know he was a scumbag. ”Well then, you’re SOL,” she said unsympathetically, crossing her arms and waiting for him to leave her alone. Forever. Disappear into the past where he belonged, where their father wanted him to stay. She didn’t want to remind herself that he was just like her in too many ways. ”You know what, you fucking piss me off,” he said lowly, and she responded by shaking her head a few times. ”Mhmm, do I? Well I’m glad. Do you hate me too, because I really am gunning for that.” He narrowed his eyes at her and she knew that she shouldn’t be so wanton with her words when he already showed her what he was willing to do. ”You know what, yeah, I hate you. But how about this. I’ll leave you alone if you suck up to Daddy Warbucks and get that money.” She looked at him incredulously. ”Why don’t you suck up yourself?” she scoffed, not willing to humor him. It didn’t takem much thought, though.

The weight of her Saint Christopher medallion sat heavy against her chest, burned at her skin, and in that moment there was too much clarity. Saint of Travellers, of drifters and people who couldn’t be anchored, people who were running from their histories. They knew why their father didn’t want him around, why he was so willing to come back into his daughter’s life and not his son’s. It was because of their mothers and what they meant to the man. And she could have felt sorry for him, because she understood what it was like to be unwanted. Sympathy only gave so much. ”Is that it, Raf? Or do you wanna hit me again? Like you hit Angela, right? Do you hit your mother like that too?” she should have stopped with her first statement, but she didn’t. He went at her mother, his was fair game. It was the same tactics she used with her aunt, under-the-belt warfare. ”You like talk about things you know nothing about.” A sharp laugh came from her throat. ”You’re shitting me now, right? I’m wondering if I need to make this clearer to you. Lay a hand on Angela again, and it’ll be worse than a burnt check. She’s afraid to go to the police, but I’m not.”

[/justify]

[JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE]

The balls clattered loudly as the white one shot into their midst, hitting the edges of the pool table and glancing off one another in the process. There were two dull thunks in quick succession and he saw that the striped '11' and solid '4' had sank into one of the corner pockets. Hah, alright. He hadn't come into the room with the intent of playing pool, really, but it was a nice distraction for him. He'd came to retrieve the book he'd left on the table beside the long green couch, a book which was now resting on one of the corners while it waited for its owner to return his attention to it. Joshua was no pool shark but playing by yourself wasn't all that hard. No competition, no one to hit all their balls in a few shots and then sink the eight before you could wrap your head around how it had happened. It was a bit boring, too, but unfortunately he didn't have any company. At this thought, he pulled out his phone and scrolled through his list of friends. Hmm. Did he want to invite anyone over? I wonder where Nell is, he mused, realising when he saw her name that he didn't have any idea. Oh well. He went back to the game, figuring that he would hear her when she came in. It was not until later, coming back from a bathroom break and finding himself leaning against the pool table and contemplating a shot, that he caught the tail end of an argument coming from downstairs.

”Is that it, Raf? Or do you wanna hit me again? Like you hit Angela, right? Do you hit your mother like that too?”

It took him a moment to process the words, first realising that the 'Raf' she was speaking to was probably Rafael, a though that angered him. The bastard. What is he doing in my house? Then he reminded himself that it was Nell's house, too, and so if she needed to speak to her brother about something then she had every right to bring him over. Then it clicked, the true meaning of the words, and the anger hit him like a brick wall. His breath caught in his throat for a moment as his gray eyes darkened with rage, but Rafael was speaking and he willed himself to listen. It wasn't anything important, just words. He barely heard what Nell said next because he had already started to walk toward the stairs, blood boiling and pool table abandoned mid-game. Hit her again? Again? He set his jaw and appeared at the top of the foyer's curved twin staircase, taking the left one down. "Rafael. Can I have a word?" He lifted his brows and nodded toward the front door, clearly indicating that he wanted this to be a private discussion outside on the porch. He glanced at Nell and twitched his lips at her in greeting, though the gesture was muted, affected by his desire to wrap his hands around their visitor's throat.

Going out onto the porch, he pulled the door shut sharply so that the noise echoed, a harsh slam. It was not necessary and it didn't make him feel any better, did not assuage his fury. Nothing ever did. He could punch through walls, hit things, throw things, hit people, but no matter what he did, it didn't go away. Only time could soothe it. They didn't have time right now. He didn't want time. He wanted to hurt Rafael, didn't want to get himself under control long enough to avoid confrontation. This was the danger of pushing Joshua too far. "You hit her?" His voice was low, threatening, though soft enough that Nell probably wouldn't be able to hear. He was worried she might try and stop him and he didn't want to be stopped right now. "Are you fucking stupid?" Joshua thought he was. What smart guy would think it was in any way okay to mess with his fiancée? You didn't touch Nell. You just didn't. "You might be able to slap your girlfriend around but you sure as hell don't touch mine. Got that?" He didn't wait for an answer, just swung his fist suddenly. There was no warning, no delay, just a swift act of violence that he could not suppress. It wasn't enough, not for Joshua. The knife was in his hand, blade flicked out before he could really contemplate what he could do, make the better choice. He didn't want to make better choices. He wanted to hurt him. He stepped forward and aimed the knife toward Rafael's gut, not really giving half a shit where it connected. He was breathing hard when he stepped back. "If you touch her again, you prick," he said, and his voice was surprisingly steady, "I will fucking murder you." Would he? Probably not. Still, in this current moment it felt to Josh like he might be capable. No one hurt Nell, not when he was around.

[So... much... anger o.o]

[NELL DOE DALE]

all i see are dark gray clouds,

IN THE DISTANCE MOVING CLOSER.

YOU ASK, "WAS SOMETHING WRONG?"

THAT I THINK, "YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT THERE IS."

"but we can't talk about it now."

Nell hadn't really stopped to wonder if Josh was home. She didn't have time to before Rafael was on her like a fly on shit. Both of them turned when he spoke, and Rafael rolled his eyes, and his head rolled with it, like this entire thing was exasperating. Her gaze was caught between the two, and she looked Rafael up and down from the corner of her eye, assessing him, weeding him out. She hoped that he hated the fury of the gaze, that he could feel her mirrored eyes digging teeth into him. But he was unfazed, as always. What would it take to make a Fuentes man move, bat an eyelash? He was so detached that it was hard to miss that he was their father's son. "Oh, okay," he said in the kind of voice you use when humoring someone, when they'd just said something ridiculous and you don't have the patience to correct them on something. Maybe he didn't see Josh's eyes, but she was aware of the anger, and her gaze didn't let up in its defensiveness between the two of them.

Rafael followed him out to the porch, and tilted his head when Josh slammed the door behind them. It seemed ridiculously childish to him, and he didn't see why he had to speak to this guy at all. He didn't give a flying fuck about him. Rafael understood the first question was a rhetorical one, and so his smart-ass reply was an instant, "Yeah." Short and matter-of-fact. He didn't have any shame in it, why should he? His eyes narrowed with the next question, however. "What, did you wanna speak to me so you can ask me fucking pointless questions, or do you actually have something relevant to say?" He didn't want to waste his time with Josh, he cared more about Nell at this point. Josh was just becoming more and more of a nuisance in his life, something he didn't need. He didn't have time to shoot back to his next words, though, as his fist caught him in his jaw. "Fucking shit," he spat, rubbing at his jaw. The next attack he was even more unprepared for, he was just aware of a sharp pain in his stomach, like an acute stomachache. He looked down and the fucking bastard had a knife.

He couldn't speak at this point, the pain as far too intense. "Ghetto ass bitch," were the first words from his mouth when he could actually speak, holding his stomach as if he could stop the blood from pouring out. He wondered if he was dying in one hysterical moment, and even with the threat, he couldn't believe that Josh would do it. Psychologically, it was very hard to believe that anyone out there wanted you dead. It was something the human mind couldn't comprehend. And that really wasn't what Rafael was thinking of at that moment. There was no returning jab, no more from him. It was a bit difficult to rebut a stabbing, the act was like a period at the end of a sentence. "Gotta lot of balls, I'll tell you that, fucker," he said, but it wasn't a comment. It was ridiculing. Aggravated assault had a nice ring to it, and as he was under the protection of the law right now, he was pretty fucking gung-ho for it. Like he was gung-ho for the hospital, even though he remembered the fact that the guy's dad or whatever was in charge there. Can't escape the fucking bastards. But he knew it was all he could do, and when Josh walked back in, Nell waited a moment for her brother before lifting an eyebrow. "Uh...where is Rafael?"

[/justify]

[JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE]

If anything, Rafael's somewhat patronizing tone only fuelled his anger even more. He was already sick of the sight of this guy despite meeting him on only one other occasion and in learning the bastard had the gall to beat on his fiancée he was sent over the edge. Anything else was just kindling, making the blaze more dangerous than usual. Which, when Josh had a knife in his hand, was more dangerous than should be allowed. A part of him realised how stupid the move had been, the fact that stabbing someone was illegal. The rest of him, the majority, did not give enough of a fuck to spare it a second thought. He was shaking, still holding the knife, as he narrowed his gray eyes at his fellow elemental. "A lot more balls than a guy that beats on women, that's for sure." It wasn't even the fact that Angela and Nell were girls, now that he thought about it. It was the fact that Angela was Rafael's girlfriend and that Nell was Joshua's fiancée. His future wife. The girl you did not touch under any circumstances unless you wanted to lose your hand. Thankfully, sanity stopped him from carrying out a five-finger discount sort of deal. "Now get the fuck away from my house." Now he didn't care that it was Nell's house, too. He was not okay with Rafael being here, no matter what Nell thought. You didn't hit Nell and then hang around.

He was still shaking when Rafael left, still gripping the knife which had a thin coat of Rafael's blood disrupting its silver sheen. He flicked it shut, pocketed it, then went back into the house. His intentions were not to hide the scene from Nell, though, and he was not surprised at the question when he entered the house. With very little emotion and absolutely no regret in his tone, he said, "Hospital, probably." Then it hit him—the hospital. Fuck. Donovan was one of the higher-ups, maybe he wouldn't get wind of what happened. He knew his parents, though they were no longer legally responsible for him and thus couldn't do much about it, would thoroughly disapprove of his stabbing someone in the gut. Or anywhere else, really, unless it was in self-defence which this most certainly had not been. It was in Nell's defence, he thought with stubborn conviction. There was no convincing him that he should regret it, not even when he realised there might be consequences. "I stabbed him." He didn't bother going into the kitchen to clean off the blade of the knife. It wasn't like he was going to deny it if the cops showed up at the door, he wasn't dumb enough to think he could get away with it if Rafael was serious. "The bastard deserved it, Nell. God, I hate him." He said this last bit as if to defend his own actions from her, knowing that his fiancée was a bit of a pacifist (alright, alright, a lot of a pacifist) and that this was her half-brother. He hit her. He fucking deserved it.

Exhaling and running a hand through his hair in frustration, Joshua turned his full attention on his fiancée now. How hard did he hit her, I wonder? I hope that teaches him not to try it again. He couldn't stop Rafael from messing with Nell if he wasn't around and so he only hoped that the prick didn't have some kind of a death wish. Would Nell tell him if he struck her again? Maybe not after she'd learned how Joshua would react. Brushing his hand against her cheek with concerned affection, he said, "Are you alright? What happened?" The anger was still present in his eyes but there was also a genuine softness to them, something only Nell could bring out when he was fuming. This rage was not for her. Questions should have been asked before he went and put himself in danger for assault charges but that wasn't Joshua's style. He didn't do the whole 'ask questions and then act' thing. "Did you invite him over?" Josh tried not to sound accusing, not wanting Nell to feel responsible or anything like that, or like he disapproved of her bringing whoever the hell she liked past their doorstep. He didn't approve of Rafael, much like she didn't approve of Bryce, but he wasn't a controlling person.

[NELL DOE DALE]

all i see are dark gray clouds,

IN THE DISTANCE MOVING CLOSER.

YOU ASK, "WAS SOMETHING WRONG?"

THAT I THINK, "YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT THERE IS."

"but we can't talk about it now."

Did Nell wish pain on anyone? She could honestly say she wished it on Rafael, and it wasn't necessarily foreign to her despite who she was. He hurt people, he hurt Angela. And Nell was left wondering what to do with that entire situation, because anyone could say that it was wrong, that her boyfriend was evil for hitting her, but it was too sensitive. Nell understood these things, but there was always differences, and she was afraid to cross the threshold. And she came uncomfortably close to wishing death on the boy, but she wanted the better, legal thing--prison. So when Josh said that her brother went to the hospital, she tilted her head and lifted her eyebrows. Those were never really good words, were they? At first, she didn't really know how to react to what he said. Well, she did, actually, and it was to say, "Thought I'd never hear that after leaving the projects." It was almost humorous. Because what else was she going to do? "Oh no, you shouldn't have stabbed him, he's a good guy." Rafael'd probably gotten worse, done worse to other people.

Josh didn't need to tell her that Rafael deserved it. She saw firsthand what he could do. And though a part of her knew it was wrong to wish such a thing upon another human being who felt pain like she did, but a larger part wished it would at least make him feel how he made Angela feel. An eye for an eye? It couldn't be black and white like that, so she didn't consider it. Instead, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Josh's waist, burying her head in his chest even though the fabric of his shirt irritated her eye. "Thank you." In a way, it was her admitting that she didn't know what to do, and deep inside she was scared, but she knew she was going to do something. And because she didn't want to seem lost or confused or weak, she pulled away, her gaze guarded as it always was. She could deal with him, he really was small in comparison to a lot of things. But it wasn't just him she was worried about, it was Angela and her father and it was everything. Yet, it all seemed to revolve around her brother.

Nell stepped away when he touched her face. "Yeah," she said in a sigh that made it sound easier than it was. No, it was easy. Mind over matter. It was merely convincing herself that she could do it, a self-fulfilling prophecy. Her injuries would be fine. Maybe Rafael might have wanted it, but he couldn't really hurt her, not in a way that would truly last. Angela. Or maybe he could hurt her, but Nell was more concerned about the girl and her own mental state than she was about hers. "Our dad gave him the money for Angela's hospital bills. And I burned the check. Her grandparents are going to find out now." She hated the idea that Rafael and Angela had most likely spoken since she'd been in the hospital. Nell tilted her head and wore a humorless little smile. "No, I didn't." She shrugged. "Guess Papa told him where I lived." She eyed Josh. "You know he's probably gonna go to the police." Maybe not, maybe he had other shit to hide and he didn't want to go to the police. Not gonna sympathize with the scumbag, she battled against her thought. Not when Josh might get in trouble for this.

[/justify]

[JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE]

When Rafael had called him a 'ghetto ass bitch', Joshua had ignored the comment entirely. Now he lifted an eyebrow at Nell, though his lips twitched faintly. "What, am I not allowed to have a knife?" Ironically enough, Joshua had done what a lot of people did in the projects and joined a gang despite his rich upbringing and his life of wealth and privilege. It had been the companionship that drew him in above all else. It wasn't like he'd thought about how much it was going to fuck his life up. If people thought about that kind of thing more often then there wouldn't be such a thing as mistakes. He was surprised when she put her arms around him but he returned the gesture, brushing his lips against her hair and tightening his grip for a moment in a show of support before she pulled away. The close contact comforted him a little, washed away a little bit of the irrationality and anger that Rafael had instilled in him. Really, the woman was a godsend. No one else had such a profound effect. Maybe it was because it was so hard to be angry around Nell. Angry at her. "Yeah," he said. No problem. It was never a problem when it was for Nell. It felt good to know that she wasn't upset with him, that this wasn't going to be one of those doghouse situations for angering his fiancée. He didn't like when Nell was upset with him. Not that it happened often but the rarity of it was not the point. It was the fact that it ever had to happen at all.

He wasn't sure whether he believed she was alright. Normally he was willing to trust in someone's word but it was a little more difficult when that person had been punched in the face by their own brother. She will be alright, though. Even if she isn't now. I hope. Hope was killer, especially for a pessimist. Hope was something that could be crushed. He sure as hell hoped that his own wasn't, at any rate. "Bills?" he echoed, surprised. "Does she go to school abroad, then?" He was so used to the fact that he lived and attended school in Maple Hollow and was covered legally through the health care system that he didn't often consider what it was like for other people. He knew a lot about health care, though, because it would be a little stupid to pursue a career in a field you knew nothing about. It was comforting to have a sort of understanding of the system he'd one day be a part of. "Good. He deserves it." The prick. It was perhaps a little cruel that he was more angry about what Rafael was doing to Nell than to Angela but then again, he wasn't friends with the girl. He'd only met her once. And he did feel sorry for her, just not as much as he felt for Nell. "Your father, will he give him more money?" Unaware of what had gone on in the Fuentes mansion, Joshua wasn't sure how Leon and Rafael got along.

Joshua narrowed his gray eyes in dislike. As if he didn't dislike Leon enough. Telling the prick where she lives so he can come over here and beat on her, too? Alright, so maybe that thought was a little harsh, but Joshua could not help the biased feelings he had toward Nell's father. "Oh." The single syllable along with his expression conveyed his distaste enough. "He'd better not come back." It was Joshua's indirect way of saying that Rafael was not welcome on their doorstep without making it sound like he was demanding anything. Fuck, Nell would probably agree at this point. He frowned when the police were mentioned, expression unreadable. He did not trust the authorities. They'd never really been on his side. Sure, they'd arrested Bryce, but that didn't make Josh feel any better. I shoulda pressed charges. He'd neglected to and now he regretted it because the bastard had been released. That wasn't what mattered now, though. "So let him," he shrugged. "I couldn't give a shit." Messing with his family and loved ones was dangerous because he ceased to have concerns about the laws and rules set in place. It put him in danger as much as it did his enemies. His luck could only last so long, after all.

[NELL DOE DALE]

all i see are dark gray clouds,

IN THE DISTANCE MOVING CLOSER.

YOU ASK, "WAS SOMETHING WRONG?"

THAT I THINK, "YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT THERE IS."

"but we can't talk about it now."

Maybe dry and brittle humor wasn’t the best way to respond to the situation, but it was her way. She could say something else, she could freak out, but she didn’t do that. She felt too weary for that, like his words poked a hole in her and deflated her. And she felt the static hum of exhaustion and fear that she wouldn’t be able to fix anything. But she was strong. She’d dealt with worse, hadn’t she? When the shit hit the fan, she could handle herself and that might have been something she’d be proud of. ”Didn’t say that,” she told him. She didn’t care that he carried around a knife. Lots of people did. But it was almost too funny, and she thought once again about how white trash her family was. Her father cheating on her mother, having another child. Now Josh was stabbing that brother, and the absurdity of it really got to her in this moment. She didn’t really worry about how much she still physically ached, and how mentally taxing the simply concept of Rafael was. Right now she was stuck thinking about the fact that she would never escape the violence. She could run away, and it would still be a fact of life.

Nell nodded in the affirmative about his question. In a small was, she was glad that Angela was an alien. “She’s from Connecticut,” she explained. ”She goes to the Academy.” What would she tell the girl now? “My fiance stabbed your boyfriend, funny shit, right?” Maybe Rafael would tell her, but did he have any reason to? If he wants to turn Angela against me. The thought disgusted her, and she almost hated the girl for the fact that she still loved Rafael, even though she understood it too well. She snorted when he asked about her father. ”Yeah, I don’t think so,” she said. Before she said any more on the matter, there was the moment’s hesitation of wondering if she hould. It wasn’t for the fact that she’d be talking about family, because that’s something that every child learns—you don’t go around talking about your home situation. Unfortunately even for the worse cases. No, the hesitation came from the love of keeping things to herself, especially after learning about Bryce. If he hadn’t trusted her with someone that had been an important figure in his past, than why should she speak of her father and what he did and what he said to her? Josh probably didn’t want to hear about the man, anyway, even if he did something right by her.

Nell shrugged, didn’t bother telling him that it was just how her father worked, he didn’t have a filter or boundaries. Except when it came to her, of course. It bothered her more than maybe it should have. Here she was trying to dig up both of their pasts when all he probably wanted to do was forget. She had been considering going to the police herself to press charges, but he had leverage against her now,that was clear. The girl didn’t point it out to Josh. Even still, she wouldn’t have wanted a restraining order against him. She wanted Angela to have a restraining order against him. Or better yet, for him to be behind bars, carving shanks out of toothbrushes. As for Rafael going to the police about Josh, that was a different matter. She didn’t understand why he didn’t give a shit about that, and wouldn’t even if she connected the fact that he was defending his family. Going to jail wouldn’t be very good for his loved ones. ”About five years in jail for assault with a deadly weapon, Josh,” she told him. ”And you can get hit with attempted murder.” It was easy to forget laws sometimes when it was just two people. Most people who got into fights didn’t go to the police about them, unless the fuzz happened upon them. She just wished she could press charges herself for Angela. Even if she could, she wondered if the girl would lie and say that Rafael never touched her. She could only hope that her grandparents could put a stop to it.

[/justify]

[JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE]

Five years? Alright, so Joshua was a pretty angry guy, but there was something jarring about the idea of spending five years in jail enough to get through to him past the anger. I don't want to go to prison. He'd been scared of it at fifteen years old when they'd hinted at horror stories about the way people treated each other in jail. At the time, they'd been bluffing him, they wouldn't really have locked him up for something they couldn't prove but he was too naive and frightened to realise this and worm his way out of it. Now, twenty years old, assault with a deadly weapon was a very real charge and they could touch him. It wasn't juvenile hall and a slap on the wrist, it was years of his life spent behind bars because he'd lost his temper with a jackass that deserved it anyway. He didn't quite know what to say to that, shifting where he stood and looking uneasy. Then he appeared affronted when she mentioned attempted murder. "I wasn't trying to kill him!" Angry as he was, his threat about murdering Rafael had been a fairly empty one. "If I'd wanted the fucker dead I'd have hit him somewhere vital." There was an advantage to knowing where everything was in the human body. He knew which veins would be good places to strike, what organs would be the most sensitive. He knew a lot of things that could make him dangerous... if he were a homicidal person. He wasn't, and the idea of being accused as such made him both angry and upset. I don't want my life to be over because of that prick. He hit Nell! What was I supposed to do? God damn, he hated feeling powerless. It wasn't gratifying.

He wanted to keep up an air of being cocky, confident, suave, but it was incredibly hard for Joshua to do so when he was considering the consequences of stabbing Rafael. What would he do if the cops showed up at his door? You'd go with them, obviously. This was real life, it wasn't a film. He couldn't shoot it out with the cops or make a clean getaway or anything like that. He wasn't the cunning sort that could do as Nell had and run off to another country, establish another life there. He was looking at five years as opposed to life in prison and it would be less with a combination of good behaviour and negotiations, if the justice system was of any firm indication, but it didn't matter to Josh. Jail was still jail, no matter how long you were in it. "Fuck," he cursed, and that pretty much summed up how he was feeling. He was silent for a long moment as he mulled things over, sifted thoughts through his head, tried to think of a way out of it. Rafael abused his girlfriend, he'd hit Josh's fiancée, but that wouldn't matter. Though 'an eye for an eye' was usually how Josh dealt with things, giving a person back as good as they got, the legal system didn't work that way. If someone killed your brother, that didn't make it okay to seek out their family and pick on off in the name of vengeance. Stabbing someone because they tried to slap around someone you cared about, unfortunately, was similar in theory. Life doesn't work that way. 'Fuck' was right.

Not only that, but what would Nell do? His sister? Would Nell stay with him if he was sent to jail? It seemed it always came down to his worrying that she would leave him. No matter how many times she proved her loyalty, no matter how many things they pushed past together, he was always concerned that something would split them up. She'd told him once that she wanted him to move on if she went to jail for murder and he'd told her it wasn't that easy. Selfishly, Joshua wouldn't want her to move on if he was arrested. He didn't say this out loud, knowing how bad it would sound. "What am I going to do, then?" He knew she wouldn't have an answer for this, who would? "It's not like I can... like I can take it back or anything." He shook his head, exhaled slowly. Fuck Rafael. Stupid fucker. I hate him. No matter how punctuated with cuss words his thoughts were, they lent him no help in his situation. "And what'll you do?" He couldn't help it, he had to ask. His lips felt dry and he resisted the urge to lick them. Fuck, fuck, fuck. "You know... if... if he does go to the police, like." As if she needed clarification for what he was worrying about at the moment.

[Did my best to give you stuff. Took a while, hope it was worth it xD]

[NELL DOE DALE]

all i see are dark gray clouds,

IN THE DISTANCE MOVING CLOSER.

YOU ASK, "WAS SOMETHING WRONG?"

THAT I THINK, "YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT THERE IS."

"but we can't talk about it now."

Nell's smile was tiny as it affixed itself to her face, humorless. It in no way met her eyes, and she looked down at her hands as she folded them together. "The law doesn't sees things the way it wants," she said, speaking of the machine as if it were a person. She shouldn't humanize it, because there was nothing human about the law. It only saw black and white, what was written down in the books and what could be followed by formula. It didn't understand circumstance, at least not very well. When the grey areas became involved, it became confused. It tried to be fair for everyone, but that wasn't true when a person took the reigns and steered it in whatever direction it wanted. So Josh wasn't trying to kill Rafael, what did the machine care? It was cold and indifferent. It didn't recognize who Rafael was as a person, a type of person who was the equivalent

She felt like she should have an answer for this. What would Josh do? Bow down to the chopping block was really the best option, resign to his fate. She didn't like the sound of that. Nell didn't want her fiance to be just a number, prisoner B-1600. The thought made her bristle, spine tingling. Rafael was like poison, now, seeping into every part of her life, filling it up. He was the one who should be in prison, and yet the law would be kinder to him than it would be to a girl who can't speak up against her boyfriend. There was an irony there she didn't want to try for. "A good lawyer. There's always mine." It was a half-joke, half-serious. Hell, the guy got her out of a murder charge. "And, I mean, there's ways to get around this. Insufficient evidence. There were no witnesses." Her voice grew in optimism as she went on, but then she fell silent. "It's not the end." It may have seemed like the shit hit the fan, but there was always another way. Her mind refused to believe any less.

The next question was just about as difficult to answer, because there was no loopholes or ways to get out of it. She wanted to keep thoughts of Josh in prison as a notion she could fictionally entertain in her mind, separate from thoughts of could be's and would be's. She took a long moment before answering, clenching her hands to restrain any strong feelings she had. And mostly she could just shrug, because she didn't want to speak. "Let's just hope that he doesn't go to the police and maybe he has a criminal record or something." She hoped that something would stop Rafael. She wouldn't be surprised if he had a criminal record. It would be surprising if he didn't. Nell couldn't answer his question because her mind wouldn't go that far to think that he could end up in a cell because of this. Thinking of that together brought her close to some kind of edge, and so she wasn't going to contemplate anything past the concept of Rafael filing a report.

[/justify]