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Post by DEVIN JAMES THATCHER on Dec 8, 2011 17:37:08 GMT -5
Devin shrugged off Joshua’s statement; people don’t have to whine or moan or groan to be complaining. In fact, all you have to do around Devin is sound the least be self-depreciating for him to figure that possibly your esteem is not as high as it should be. In turn the boy would offer up some sort of moral support. It was instinct to try and uplift others, even if those others did not see it as much help. Like Josh. “Whatever you say man.” Joshua was nothing like Devin when it came to relationships; at least, that’s how it was slowly turning out to be. Both of them were one-night-stand people and floated around from person to person, but it seemed that Devin’s selflessness put him in a bit of a dilemma when it came to a real relationship with a girl. That was why he did not have Autumn, and he felt completely and utterly miserable about it, and Joshua had Nell and was determined to cling to that as hard as he could. Devin did not feel like he had to cling to Nell as voraciously as he did—Nell was not the type of person to be around people she did not like, and Devin knew for a fact that she liked (loved) Josh. The blonde fiddled around with the cue stick for a minute, not fully paying attention to everything his best friend was saying. “Fine by you.” He was not sure what else to say in that situation, given that he did not want to argue about something so petty.
His thoughts were completely disrupted when he received a rather rough smack to the back of his head; Devin turned and glared momentarily at Joshua before dropping his gaze in utter shame. I’m just setting myself up to get hit today. He wanted to say it out loud, but knew for a fact that comparing his best friend to his step-mother would only bring about a fiery wrath that Devin did not wish to deal with. “I know I am.” Was all he could manage to say. The boy was not the type of person to argue excessively about things he knew to be true. If he knew that Josh’s statement was indeed fact, there was no sense in denying it. They were the only two in the room, anyway. That would be a futile attempt, and he knew it. Devin felt like a child, being scolded by his best friend for something that he already knew. Josh did not know this of course, so Devin merely stood there and stared at him with a glazed over look in his eyes as he listened. It was not that he wanted to appear disinterested—it was more the fact that he had been lecturing himself about this and it was old news. That, and it was upsetting him having another person bring the feelings and thoughts into a more verbal light. He could not shove that away so easily. Devin sighed. “I’m not trying to. And you know, I can’t help who I am Josh.” His voice was soft and emotionless. “I can’t just…change who I am simply because someone tells me to do something. Just like with asking me to be selfish. I’ve tried, and I can’t seem to do it. Yeah, I fucked up a potentially good relationship. I know. And that’s what I get for being selfless. Even some decent personality traits can have their downfalls.”
That went for everyone Devin ever met. Nell, Josh, Autumn, and all of his other friends had good qualities that did not always benefit them in the end. Some situations simply…happened. Devin honestly thought he was doing the right thing by allowing the girl to find someone better, and did not even realize that it was hurting more than helping. It was an automatic response. It was like instinct to protect her from something he knew to be bad for her. It was wrong to assume Autumn wanted what he did, and that was why he was in this position now. The guilt that had been lingering at the back of his mind was attacking him at full force. It caused his stomach to clench up tight. “I’m going to. Trust me I am. Just need to catch her when I can pull her aside and do it.” Devin ran a hand through his hair as he leaned against the cue again, this time appearing more forlorn than thoughtful. This is why I’m not good for her Josh. Do you even hear yourself? Of course he didn’t. Josh was very different from Devin when it came to selflessness. He did not understand what Devin was feeling. At hearing that Autumn went to his best friend, Devin looked up from the table and passed Josh a confused stare. “I didn’t go for it because I was still on the rocks with Marianna. Autumn did not deserve to be treated like a rebound.” He flinched, realizing that Harley was a rebound, but that was a two-sided decision. They both needed the release, so they went for it. Autumn was not looking for that sort of relationship with Devin, and so he would have much rather pushed her away than lead her on. That was, until he developed feelings for her in the process (or rather found the feelings that had been lurking for a while). “Harley was, yes, but the feeling was mutual. Autumn did not need to be led on like that.”
Devin felt his gaze harden, and so turned his eyes towards the scattered balls on the pool table. It was not towards Josh; in fact it was aimed at himself. He knew he fucked up what would have possibly been the best relationship, but what was there to be done? Autumn did not need this, or him, and would do so much better than dealing with someone who could not even sort out his emotions. He was selfless. Apparently that was a flaw he never expected to find to be a flaw. This bothered Devin greatly. But being selfish is bad too. He could not quite figure out what he was supposed to be now. “I’m going to try, but I can’t make any promises. It’s not something I can just ‘turn on’…you know? But I will try. I can promise that I will make an attempt.” He could at least do that for the guy that saved his ass from Lauren, and for being his best friend.
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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Dec 8, 2011 19:24:32 GMT -5
Josh glared right back at his friend as if daring him to say something about it. In his opinion, he hadn't hit that hard. If Devin had made his little comment or had compared him to Lauren in any way then it would most definitely have caused a fight, but as his friend said nothing Joshua was none the wiser. "The thing is, dude, I don't even know if you were being selfless." He could remember what Autumn had said to him about Devin and how she'd been concerned about her feelings for him. He might not have been the best at sympathy but he had at least caught onto what she was saying. Why would it be better for her that Devin broke her heart and left? For Christ's sakes, if you love her, why chase her off? He almost let this scathing comment slip past his lips but managed to hold it in. Just like DJ was trying not to start a fight, Josh was doing the same. He didn't want a repeat of what had happened the last time. Apart from Nell, who was the closest to him anyone had ever gotten, Devin was the only person that Joshua felt he could trust. Losing that over a simple argument—one about a romance, nonetheless—would be far too difficult. He also didn't want to abandon Devin when Lauren was giving him so much trouble. If that witch of a woman went for him again then he wanted to be around to identify and sort out the problem. He still wasn't sure if he could trust Devin to keep him informed but he supposed they'd cross that bridge when they got to it. His cynicism could be proven wrong, perhaps.
Sighing heavily to resist snapping again, Josh ran a hand through his black hair. Patience. He's your best buddy. He hoped that Devin realised his irritation was nothing personal and that it was just in his personality to get angry and frustrated with pretty much everything. He was at least avoiding going off on him for the time being, even if he had given him a bit of a whack to the back of the head for it. After successfully taking in a fresh breath of air to clear his head, he addressed Devin with sympathetic seriousness. "By what she said to me, she doesn't want some other guy." He still didn't get why Devin was rejecting Autumn in the first place. Oh, he wasn't stupid—he'd heard the Earth boy's explanation, he just couldn't grasp it. He knew it must work in a similar way for his best friend. Though Dev could see that the relationship between he and Nell was functional and that Josh did his best it didn't mean that he could operate with the self-serving attitude the Fire graduate did. It was one of the few problems with befriending an opposite, he supposed. There was a lesser chance of Josh's temper being set off since Devin was an Earth and not very antagonistic but they were so different in some aspects that understanding one another could be a chore all in itself. "And you don't want some other girl, do you? I don't get you, man, I really don't." He shrugged as if in mild defeat. He couldn't solve their problems for them. If they loved each other they were going to have to work that out for themselves.
All frustrations and misunderstandings considered, it was still good to hear that Devin planned to make an attempt. Josh's lips twitched for a moment in what had been fixing up to become a smile but never quite made the cut. "Good luck, DJ. Seriously." He might not have been some matchmaker but he wanted to see his friends happy. And if that meant two of those friends coming together in a relationship, well, so be it. He just hoped that this didn't tear apart the friendship between the pair and leave him as one of the odd ones out, the mutual friends. He hated being stuck in that situation. It was selfish to consider himself and his desires when it was their future relationship being considered but that was just a large part of who he was. He took the next shot and was so distracted by his thought process that he shot the eight ball straight into one of the pockets. He stared at it for a full few seconds before snorting in exasperation at himself. "Whoops." He didn't really sound regretful, though, more like disinterested. He felt like doing something else, something that could distract his best friend from thoughts of the girl for now. "Want a drink of anything? Take the edge off or something? I won't let you go over the limit, I swear." It was just like Josh to solve a problem with a buzz but he couldn't think of anything at the moment.
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