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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Oct 25, 2011 21:07:31 GMT -5
[Shit bajeezus this got long. Don't match. LOL so many awkward pauses.]
As the woman who had answered the door moved away to go and fetch Leon, Joshua reflected on just how insane--no, not insane, that was a bad word to use--this really was. The two men had not tried to hide from each other that they were not going to get along and yet Joshua was standing here and waiting to see if he would be admitted into his home. The Fire elemental did not really have a back-up plan. If Leon turned him away he would not protest, it was the man's right to refuse people entry into his property, but he didn't have any sort of further plotting done. He had already tried the library to no effect and other than Nell herself he didn't know who else could tell him about the woman who had caused all of this. There was Jane, of course, but he knew he wouldn't get anything rational out of her. She'd probably just try to turn him against Nell even further. "I need to speak with you," he replied. He was blunt and honest but his tone was not hostile. At the moment Josh did not give a shit about the fact that they were on opposite sides of the field. He didn't care about petty dislikes. All he wanted was to understand what was going on with his girlfriend. He had not said he was breaking up with her but did that make it any better? He had left and things were a little awkward at school as he tried to avoid talking about things. He was staying in a hotel so she didn't have to see him poring over his research. "It's about Nell," he added, not sure whether this would help or hinder him but not caring either way. He was not going to lie. It was technically about Nell, but it was also about Mia.
He tried to analyse the tone that the older man had used, wondering whether he was accusing Joshua of snooping around to find his address. It did not sound as such but judging by the forced politeness they both showed one another at the country club, impressions could not always be trusted. Nevertheless, his source of the information was safe and pretty trustworthy. He hadn't went creeping around in Nell's stuff or asked the girl to point out where her father lived. "The home of my parents is close by here," he explained. The mansions were not close enough to have anything considered "neighbours" and there were so few of them, but he was sure Leon might be able to catch what he meant. "It's a tight community. When someone new moves in, people talk." He didn't usually listen to idle gossip too much but the moment. He'd heard the name before he knew to connect it with Nell, actually, and the subject had never come up with Nell because he didn't think it was important. It was only recently that he'd made the connection and figured out. "Our home is the white one with the lake in the back, you might have drove past it before." He said 'might' because it was very possible that Leon hadn't been further down the road from where he lived. Joshua didn't know where he worked or his routes about the city, he didn't know if he'd explored after moving here or just stayed in one place.
Like Leon himself, Joshua was dressed neatly and bore no indication of the stress he'd been going through over the past days except for the fact that he looked a little tired. He hid this as best as he could but a perceptive person might have been able to pick up on it. Joshua had no idea that Leon thought him to be a delinquent with a penchant for stealing--if he had, he might have tried to reassure the man (perhaps sarcastically) that his criminal record was blank and that he had no interest in the valuables. "Thank you," he said politely as he sat, though he shook his head at the other offer. "I'm alright." In that sense, perhaps, but overall Joshua was in no ways alright. He didn't want to bother too much with pointless conversation but he also didn't want to be too rash about handling this. He'd been blunt with Nell and she'd practically shut down and refused to say anything besides 'paranoid' and 'violent'. Not the words you wanted to hear. "I... was not lying when I said that this was about Nell," Josh started carefully, "but that's not... all... that this is about." His words were slow and methodical.
Taking a breath, he said, "She came back from visiting you a few days ago." It was not an accusation, it was just a statement to give Leon an idea of when this had occurred and what he might be leading into. Josh was not here to point fingers. He, surprisingly, did not blame Nell's father for this. "She was acting strangely and when I asked her what was wrong she... suggested that she might be turning out like her mother." He allowed a pause for that to sink in, the volume of what he was saying. It was not easy for him to put all of this on to the table. He didn't like revealing Nell's concerns with Leon but he didn't feel like he had any semblance of a choice. Backed into a corner of his own creation. Oh, why hadn't he just taken this up with Nell? She wouldn't have told you. Much as he hated to admit it he was quite sure this was true. "From what I gathered, it was something you said about her mannerisms being similar to those of... your wife's... that caused her concerns." None of this was really damning, though. He had saved the actual concerns for last because he didn't quite know how to approach it gently. "Her worry seemed great enough that I wondered how serious the issue might be, but she..." Almost sheepishly, he swallowed and admitted, "she wouldn't say anything on the subject."
Even as he spoke Joshua was realising how ridiculous this might have sounded. He was literally talking himself behind a locked door. Once the words were voiced he could not take them back. He did not want to say outright, 'Your daughter thinks she's crazy so I left and came here.' If there were any way to make Leon listen to him, that was not it. So then what could he say? "It's caused a bit of a... complication, as I'm not quite sure... how to deal with this information." Again his words were chosen carefully but he spoke the truth. He really didn't know how to handle it. Apparently Leon hadn't understood it either. "I suppose what I'm here for is to ask you whether there was anything that might have... caused... what happened to her mother... any sort of symptoms that I might be able to look for to help... prevent the same thing from happening to Nell?" He tried not to sound too hopeful, just in case. He didn't want Leon to think he was begging for advice because that was not a comfortable feeling. He just wanted answers. More than anything he wanted Nell, but he couldn't have her until he understood the risks. Would Leon grasp that? He'd ran away when it got too bad. Surely he couldn't hold the same fear against Josh, right? Or was that too much to hope for?
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Post by NELL DOE DALE on Oct 26, 2011 15:47:47 GMT -5
Leon lifted his eyebrows and nodded as Joshua spoke, as if it was perfectly reasonable that he popped out of nowhre with the intentions of speaking to him…about what? He was enlightened by the next statement, however, and even though it didn’t show on his ever-placid face, he was immediately wary. ”Is she okay?” Leon asked, since Joshua made it sound like something happened to her. Even though he may have seemed coldhearted, it would devastate him should anything happen to Nell. And since she hadn’t seen her in a while, it gave him reason to fret. Leon’s demeanor, however, was overall welcoming, as if he didn’t have problems with the boy at all. Perhaps it was the fact that he was in his own home, and he was comfortable when it was his domain. Speaking of home, it seemed that Joshua’s parents lived close to his house. While the soothed the prickling suspicion, he was still not at all trustful of Joshua. ”I see,” Leon said. ”Glad to hear I’m good gossip fodder.” He said this rather dryly, showing htat he did have some humor in him. Since Leon wasn’t much of a people person, he didn’t spend a lot of time chattering with people about things, and so he’d been ignorant of any talk about himself, and the Dales as well. The only things he really heard about them was from Jane, and he liked to keep conversation with her especially minimal. ”I’ve passed it,” he replied simply when Joshua described the Dale estate, nodding a bit as if to ascertain that.
Arms resting on the chair in what was a surprisingly open posture, Leon kept his eyes transfixed to Joshua. He did notice some haggardness in his features, but shrugged it off. Rough day, maybe. Joshua declined his offer and he nodded in response. And it seemed like pleasantries would end there, which the Thunder elemental did not mind much. He wasn’t made for pleasant conversation, he was made for isolation. Not the only thing he wanted to talk about, huh? ”Oh?” Leon said, his tone quizzical. What else could Joshua have come to discuss? His arrival had already made Leon suspcious, what more could he possibly have in mind? He wouldn’t have to wonder for too long. He remembered the day Joshua spoke of because he hadn’t seen Nell since then…but what was this about Mia? His expression was stern. ”What do you know about Nell’s mother?” Leon’s tone could be described as cold, but he honestly wanted an answer. Joshua couldn’t possibly know why Nell was upset—oh lovely, he’d upset her, hadn’t he?
But Joshua’s next words coupled with the fact that he himself was concerned made it apparent that this boy knew a bit about the woman. Enough to be worried. Now he came to a crossroads. The man couldn’t care less about Joshua. But he did care about Nell, and his words had apparently disturbed her, which he hadn’t expected. I didn’t mean it like that, mija, he thought in exasperation. ”So you’re telling me,” Leon said slowly, smoothing down his tie, ”that Nell miscontrued my words and now you want to tell you about my deceased wife.” He said this as if asking for comfirmation, but Joshua had already stated what he wanted. Did Joshua even know she had died? It didn’t matter. What mattered was that Leon wanted to make a few things clear, as usual. He leaned forward, his face possibly even more solemn than usual. ”You realize that by asking me about this, you’re touching on something very personal and sensitive.” It was almost a question, and his eyes bore in Joshua’s like a drill. He did not realax as he continued. ”Normally, I would have you escorted out.” The words were firm and he paused for effect. ”However, Nell is my daughter, and she was clearly upset because of what I said. I will do what I can to remedy that.” This was not for Joshua or even for the two’s relationship, which he inferred to be in jeopardy. Usually this would have made him quite gleeful, but he did not want his daughter to have to suffer. He doubted she’d believe that if he told her, however.
After stating his part, he settled back against the chair once more, re-evaluating Joshua’s hesitant words. ”So I am guessing you know about Mia's...issues.” That was a very light way of putting it. Leon may have been a blunt and careless man, but his late wife was certainly a difficult sbject. ”What I meant when I compared Nell to her was that she inherited Mia’s good traits. It’s understandable. We all get things from our parents if we are around them enough. Clearly, Nell overreacted...as usual.” He stopped, narrowed his eyes. Nell took it to meant that she was as damaged as Mia had been. But that had not been his intentions. He merely noticed similarities, the good things shared between them. It wasn’t like Mia had been running around chanting tongues all the time—she had postivity about her. Surely Nell realized that…? ”Psychosis is not a disease, it is not something you can simply catch,” he said, regarding Joshua’s talk of ‘causes’ and ‘symptoms’. Sure, it was a disease of the mind, but not something physical as he made it sound. The last word was practically a scoff, as if insulting Joshua for comparing something like that to his late wife’s condition. ”Just because her mother had problems, does not mean that Nell will suffer the same thing. The two situations are not comparable, so I cannot help you prevent anything that is not even in question.” The thought of his daughter going off the deep end was one he did not like to consider, and he was slightly offended by Joshua. He loved his daughter, and having someone like him suspect her of insanity did not sit well with the man. He’d already lost one person in his life to insanity, he was not willing to lose another. "Do you really want me to tell you what happened to her mother and how I knew there was something wrong?" His gaze was very serious, because he was taking Joshua serious. This was a serious issue at hand. He had known for years, he just chose to ignore it. And that's how it went wrong. If Mia had gotten help back then, she could have healed. But people like to ignore problems, like they didn't exist.
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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Oct 26, 2011 16:46:05 GMT -5
Joshua hesitated for only a moment. "Er... no," he admitted truthfully. He could have lied and said that Nell was fine in the hopes that Leon would be more willing to hear him out that way but then again, the man was going to know it was a lie in a minute when he took the time to explain. So he merely went with honesty and hoped that the guy didn't kick him out before he managed to get more than a few words in. He blinked at the comment, unsure of whether or not Leon was actually being humorous. Now he knew how it felt for other people when he made jokes. He considered his answer to the next question carefully. "Only what Nell has told me." She had told Joshua that she was responsible for the death, that her mother had abused her, and now he knew the woman had been suffering from mental illness. That was the extent of his knowledge. "I know of the reasons for the trial and of some of the things that happened to Nell in her care." He was letting Leon know that he was not absolutely clueless as to what was going on. It was not in a smug sense. He was not trying to prove that he had Nell's trust, he was only answering the question. I didn't come here on a mere whim, he thought, but kept that to himself. Being sarcastic or rude might not be in his best interest at present.
His gray gaze was even as it met that of the other man. "That sounds about right." His expression did not falter from its careful neutrality as Leon continued. He was going to let the man finish what he had to say before he started making any judgements on where this conversation was headed--hopefully it would be to somewhere good, but was that too much to ask? Yes, he could understand that the subject was sensitive. It had obviously been so to Nell as well. Unfortunately for Leon, Joshua's concerns were not with him. It was not to say he didn't care that it might be a painful topic, but he certainly wasn't going to back out on what he'd asked. Joshua cared a lot more for Nell than he did the man who sat across from him. "Of course," was all he said on the subject. He arched an eyebrow as Leon mentioned having him 'escorted out'. He did not like being treated like some misbehaving child or delinquent but he also knew that it was the man's every right to dismiss him from the home. He held his tongue. Josh had also not missed the 'normally' and figured there was more that had to be said. "I am glad to hear we both have Nell's best interests in mind," he said. It was a subtle hint to the fact that Nell was the reason he asked all this, no other.
Issues. That was certainly one way to put it. Joshua dipped his head in reply and confirmed, "I do." He didn't know the extent of them or how her mental illness had affected her daily life. All he knew and cared about was that it was bad enough to seriously frighten Nell and thus he was determined to do something about it. As usual? It made his stomach prickle with dislike but Joshua managed to avoid saying anything. The next comment, however, was not so easily ignored. Joshua did not like being treated as if he had no idea how the world worked. "I am aware of that, thank you." He tried to keep his tone as polite as possible but there was a bit of an edge to it as well. Despite this, he had to resist the urge to sigh in exasperation as Leon went on. "I know that," said Josh firmly. "However, it is a concern to Nell and I am not going to ignore it or pretend it does not exist." Much as Leon might have hated him Joshua did not hate Nell--he cared about Nell more than he cared about most people. Only his family had a higher value and he'd still chosen her over them when forced to make a choice. "I want to know the facts so that I can convince her that she's not going to suffer because of her past but I can hardly do that if I don't know what I'm looking for." Resisting the urge to throw in a barbed comment or two, he finally said, "That's why I'm here."
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Post by NELL DOE DALE on Oct 26, 2011 17:54:38 GMT -5
As a father, Leon did not like to hear that his child was not okay. Seeing a Joshua didn’t specify what was wrong, he merely waited, his expression as impassive as ever. I swear, if he did anything to her… The thought was dangerous and threatening in his head. He could never give Joshua the benefit of the doubt, but he kept this to himself, for now. It only took so much before Leon’s nature took over. His next answer to Leon’s question was just as vague, and left the man wondering what exactly Nell had told her boyfriend. He knew she liked to keep things private because she never talked to him about anything. He knew the fact that she still didn’t really trust him played a part in that, so he was curious about what Nell had told Joshua. And what she had shocked him. ”The trial?” he said, and though it was a question, it was hard to tell with his voice so rigid. ”I’m guessing she told you what happened in America.” So Joshua knew that Nell killed her mother.Why would she tell him of all people that. He guessed it was because he was a criminal too, but he really wouldn’t know. Some of the things that happened under her care? Now that was information Leon wasn’t privy too, since the first time he asked he got shot down with a glare. Any other time was met with similar responses. He almost felt envious, but the feeling was easily brushed aside. He was more concerned about the fact that his daughter was telling Joshua things that Leon didn’t believe she should.
At this point, Leon didn’t really know what to make of Joshua, but at least he had his understanding on the matter. ”Yes, well…” Leon said, even though by now his demeanor wasn’t quite as welcoming. He didn’t like considering the fact that Joshua had his daughter’s best interests in mind, or that he was even a part of her life. But he knew he had to accept it if he was ever going to fix what he screwed up, judging by what Joshua was saying. He didn’t want Nell to be hurt, because he was in the process of righting all his wrongs. It seemed like he just kept adding more to his load. Leon lifted his eyebrow as his companion spoke like he was holding something back. But he said nothing to it. He didn’t enjoy talking—especially not to Joshua—so he simply kept his mouth shut. This certainly wasn’t really a conversation Leon wanted to be having with Joshua. But he recognized it as a necessary evil, and grudgingly accepted his words as true. Nell was afraid of becoming like her mother, so they were doing this for her sake. Still, he sat silently through the boy’s words, his eyes searching. ”Nell is that afraid?” he said, mostly to himself. Leon really didn’t know his daughter well, and what she’d been through after he left was still a pretty big mystery. There was the eleven-year gap between their understanding of each other, so he couldn’t have predicted how Nell would react to what he said. He did’t think it was a fear of hers.
His hands still folded in his laps, he regarded Josh with the same cool expression as usual. ”The facts,” he considered aloud with a hollow sort of laugh. Leon really didn’t know how to start with this, how to begin to describe his late wife. ”Mia was never diagnosed, so I can’t give that to you.” Which meant he couldn’t give that to Nell, either, who was his main concern. But he could give what information he had from his life with Mia. ”Paranoid delusions,” he started simply. ”It eventually got to the point that she was so afraid of the world that she locked herself inside and wouldn’t let the girls outside. She simply didn’t trust people anymore, because everyone she came into contact with ended up hurting or leaving her.” Instance of ignorance number one. He let Mia do what she wanted because he wanted her to be happy. That was clearly not the right thing to do. She had never been happy. ”Hallucinations. Seeing things that weren’t really there, that no one else could see. She was generally disconnected from reality. Violence. That’s they only way she knew how to solve her problems because that’s how everyone else in her life had done it.” He stopped there, blinked a few times. Leon did not get emotional, but this was a very hard subject for him. Even now, after all these years. ”I don’t know what happened after I left, how much worse she got,” he said, understanding now that Joshua was most likely aware that he’d walked out on the family and that him saying ‘eleven years’ was very intentional. ”Those are the facts. That is the nature of her psychosis,” he stated plainly. He didn’t know how Joshua would respond to this information, stated like he was reading it from a piece of paper. It was the easiest way to talk about the past—to act like it wasn’t his own.
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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Oct 26, 2011 18:37:51 GMT -5
Apparently Nell had not clued her father into the fact that Josh knew about her crimes. He supposed this was slightly surprising considering the fact he had every intention of accompanying her for the trial (hell, he'd go as a friend if this didn't work out, as long as she wanted him there). He could have told Leon about this right there and then but he did not. "She did." It was simple confirmation of the fact. He was glad that Nell trusted him enough to confide in him even though she had not been able to share things about her mother. He noted that Leon seemed surprised about Nell's concerns. "It is definitely a big concern." After all, why wouldn't it be? Nell had suffered at Mia's hands and so becoming like the woman who'd had such a poisonous influence on her life was not something she would want. Even Joshua understood this so why couldn't her own father? He probably loved his wife, Josh tried to rationalize. Maybe it blinds him a little. He knew that it would be hard for him to find fault in someone like Annabel, his sister. He didn't try too hard to find faults with Nell because he loved her and he wanted that to be enough. "Thank you," Josh said with surprising sincerity when Leon told him what he needed to know. "Now, if you'll excuse me I have a library to be getting to..." Now that he had the information he needed Joshua was in a rush to try and figure out what was going on. If he could find answers and reassure Nell with them that would be good, right? Joshua could only hope.
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Joshua wasted almost no time in getting to the public library and hitting the books. He would have preferred the Academy library but he was always more self conscious about running into someone that he knew there. He had a twisted sense of needing to protect his girlfriend's privacy about this whole thing. There was a good chance that people would think he was just researching a personal interest and he'd tell them as much if he asked but avoiding said situations altogether was for the best. Besides, he didn't want to run into Nell in the library. So the much smaller but still decent library in the Hollow would have to do. He spent another few days of long research, going over a wide variety of different things, cross referencing, staying up until he was practically asleep in the chair. The hotel was decent, smaller than his apartment had been but a little bigger than Nell's. His mother, unfortunately, noticed it on her credit card bill and called to ask questions. "Oh, tests and stuff at school," Josh lied easily. "I wanted to give Nell her space so I didn't keep her up with my studying." Studying was quiet but it needed light and so he hoped that she didn't question this. Her 'alright' was doubtful but thankfully she didn't push him for a better answer. He didn't like telling lies to his mother, even little white lies, but he also didn't want to get into all of this with her. It was the business of the couple what they were dealing with and no one else. He'd stick by that.
Eventually he had gathered up enough seemingly reliable evidence on a particular illness that caught his attention--Psychotic Depressive Disorder. There were a few symptoms that had not been mentioned by either Nell or Leon but all of those mentioned were covered. He hoped that he had hit on something correct but worried about how Nell might react. Apparently from what he could tell the causes were unknown but a history of the disorder strengthened the risks. It doesn't solidify them, Joshua thought rationally. He was relying on plain and simple logic to try and reassure himself that Nell was going to be alright. This was his girlfriend, she had to be okay. It just means there's a chance but we can prevent that. We have to. The fact that he was including himself in that even in his own mind was a positive thing. The panic that Joshua had felt upon first hearing the news had slowly ebbed away and now he was just concerned about Nell. He was going to tell her what he'd found, what her father had said, and more importantly he was going to help her through this. That was what a good boyfriend would do, right? He didn't have a lot of experience with being the good guy. That's what a friend would do, and I'm her friend, too. This thought gave him more of an edge. He went up to her apartment and took a bracing breath before knocking lightly on the door. Waiting until she opened it, he gave a soft sort of half-smile. "I'm back," he said unnecessarily. "Can I come in? I found some stuff you might want to hear about."
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Post by NELL DOE DALE on Oct 27, 2011 20:17:58 GMT -5
Nell’s days were filled with uneasiness now, trying to monitor her behavior while waiting for Josh to come back to her. Was that too much to ask for? Had she really scared him off for good? He’s just looking for answers, she repeated over and over in her head. Mental illness was terrifying, she understood that. She’d experienced it first-hand in her mother. She didn’t want to be like that, and she wished she could tell Josh exactly why. But she couldn’t talk about her mother, and he understood that. Just please don’t leave me. She liked to think of herself as independent, but she relied on Josh’s presence in her life. And he was keeping himself present, too, even though he was no longer living with her. She just hoped that he wouldn’t change his mind and decide that she really wasn’t worth it when he did find whatever he was looking for. She was afraid for this relationship. It was all she could do not to be a paranoid wreck, but she was lucidly aware of everything she did now, wondering if Mia did this, if Mia had ever done that, without digging up memories that she knew would hurt her. Leon had been at fault for this, but she was so absorbed in trying to find ways to change herself that she didn’t even care about him right then. As a matter of fact, she was avoiding him, not knowing how to treat him after he’d caused her nervousness.
Sitting cross-legged on her couch, Nell blew bubbles out across the apartment and watched Pablo scramble for them. Nell could never understand how cats got such pure enjoyment from playing with the objects they did, but she didn’t question the cat. At least she was pretty sure Mia never done this, but then again she didn’t know if the woman ever had pets. Don’t think about her. It was only making this worse for Nell, who was steadily trying to calm herself down. She certainly was not as jumpy as when she last talked to Josh in her apartment, but she was very aware of every movement she made. It was the most self-aware she’d been in her life, and it was scary. She didn’t like to think about herself and the fact that she might be anything like her mother, but Leon had managed to bring that to the surface of her psyche and she wished she could stop. It wasn’t something voluntary, after all, she couldn’t help it whenever she painted her toenails and wondered if Mia did the rainbow shades she did, or if she liked the same movies. When she consciously tried to shut this out of her mind, it didn’t really work. There was the constant worry sitting in her stomach, and she was going to try and fix that with food.
She heard the knock and put the bottle down on the coffee table as she went to get it. The relief she felt was undescribable when she saw Josh there, and she mentally hit herself for ever doubting him. ”You are,” she said brightly with relief, laughing a little after. Did Mia ever laugh after her sentences? Nell really needed to stop that, but it was involuntary and she couldn’t control it as much as she wished she could. Her stomach fluttered when he said he found out some stuff she might want hear, nervous anxiety about what he was going to tell her. She tried to chase away the lingering fear that he might tell her whatever he had to tell her, and then say that he couldn’t be with her. ”Yeah, come in,” she said. Before walking over to the kitchen, she asked, "I was about to nuke some leftovers, you want any?" Biting her lip, she thought back to his words and shifted her feet a bit. She wasn’t able to wave the concern away, and so she tentatively asked, ”What did you find?” Nell could guess at what he wanted answers to, and that’s what made her really nervous.
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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Oct 27, 2011 20:56:14 GMT -5
Joshua was glad to detect what sounded like relief in Nell's tone. He had been somewhat worried about his reception upon returning, mostly because it had taken him a little longer than he'd thought and he had wondered whether or not she'd be angry about that. Don't be silly, Nell doesn't get angry. Nevertheless the thought was weak with relief and his smile stayed for a little longer before fading into his neutral expression. "How have you been holding up?" He was not worried about Nell's sanity but concern for her well-being was only natural. He hadn't seen that much of her over the past week and Josh had been too focused on research to realise exactly how much he'd missed her until now. He also hadn't realised how hungry he was, at least not until mentioned the prospect of food. "Oh, that would be great," he agreed, nodding. "I haven't eaten much in a few days." When he got focused on a project or subject of studying he often forgot about the fact that he needed to eat and even sleep. Hell, there had been several nights at home where he'd stayed up all night studying until he slumped forward in exhaustion and was out like a light. A lot of his insomnia had been caused by frequently screwing up his sleep schedule and confusing his internal clock. He did not realise how seriously Nell took eating as a daily requirement and so he did not think that this might not be the best thing to tell her. Joshua was in a state of cheerful and weak relief at the moment, not really thinking about anything except how happy he was that he might be able to fix things for them both.
He smiled at Nell when she asked what it was he'd found, hoping to reassure her that the prospects were very hopeful. "Nothing bad, don't worry." He held up the very heavy bag of books that he'd brought with him for a moment and then dropped it on the floor beside where he was sitting. He would start bringing out the research if Nell was curious about anything or if she needed proof but right now he was not seeking to overwhelm her but instead to make her feel good about herself again. He had gone from uncertainly to optimism rather quickly. Perhaps part of it was that he was so willing to believe that things were going to be okay. The lack of this was usual cause for his pessimism but Joshua wanted things to work out with Nell and so he was going to make them. He liked this feeling of being helpful and responsible, it suited his pride well. "I'm sorry that it took so long," he said earnestly. "I didn't want to come back without answers." He had taken it like a personal oath that he would help her when he had made his decision to start research. He had been determined that there was some sort of fix. He hoped that Nell didn't resent the time it had taken him--if she did, he at least hoped that what he'd found would be enough to assuage that resentment. He'd went through the fire and flames and braved Leon to get this information. Should he tell her about this? Guess I'd better. It would suck for her to find out from him, first.
"I was sort of lost at the start, going on such little information," he explained, "so I went to see your father." Joshua paused in order to let that sink in. His usual worry and paranoia hoped that this wouldn't upset her in some way. He had taken a risk by braving that particular storm and he was sure they both knew that it could have backfired. Surprisingly, though, Leon had been very helpful. Grudgingly Joshua was thankful for his help and hated him just a little bit less. They were not friendly and likely wouldn't become so in the near future but at least they both understood that Nell was more important to the both of them than any quarrel they might have with each other. "Then I went to the library and I found this." He pulled out a book and flipped to the chapter that described what he thought her mother might have had. "You don't have to look at it now," he said, "or even at all if you don't want to. But it's good news--you've got none of the present signs." Deciding to tell her what Leon had told him to make sure that she understood this completely, Joshua said, "Your father says you misconstrued his words. He meant that you had your mother's good qualities. You're not going to go off the deep end just because you freeze your valuables." He smiled softly at this hint of humour, his gray eyes holding that kind of relief. "So that's good, right?"
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Post by NELL DOE DALE on Oct 28, 2011 16:21:00 GMT -5
Nell smiled wanly. ”I’ve been okay,” she replied rather convincingly, and was quick to move on to Josh’s well-being. ”You?” She tried to keep any hint of anxiety from her voice. She was still afraid that she had lost Josh for good, remembering his words about not knowing how to deal with it if one day…one day she became someone else. He’s here now, idiot. Her thoughts stalled in her head, however, when Josh admitted that he hadn’t eaten that much in a few days. Her eyes widened. ”In a few days?” she repeated, alarmed. ”Josh, you…you can’t do that!” Her voice was pinched and she felt sicker now that he had informed her of what he was—or rather wasn’t—doing when they were apart. ”Adios mio, what am I going to do with you? I leave you alone for a week, and you starve yourself. You need to take better care of your body, or your going to end up in the hospital…” She stopped her distressed lecturing and muttered, ”What am I doing? You need to eat!” She hurried into the kitchen, muttering to herself about Josh being a hazard to himself and making her fret like a mother hen, and emerged only moments later with a plate for him. All veggies, f course. ”Eat,” she said sternly, giving it to Josh as she sat down next to him. In her fretting over him, however, she forgot to make a plate for herself. But that was okay—she had eaten recently.
Raising her eyebrows at the bag of books he had brought with him, it didn’t do much to quell the anxiety in her stomach. What did he find? Two sides were fighting in her mind, duking it out for supremacy—did she want to know or did she just want to tune it all out? Flicking her eyes back to Josh upon realizing that she’d gotten a bit too into her thoughts, she nodded and said, ”That’s all right.” She would give him whatever time he needed. Even if he decided that you are lunatic? The uncomfortable feeling wasn’t going away, and it mixed together with her anxiety over the whole ‘You’re a lot like your mother, Nell’ thing. Taking a deep breath, she listened to Josh tell her what had gone on while he was looking for answers. She blinked when he mentioned Leon, as if she hadn’t quite heard him. ”You went…to my father?” she said, and the reason she was shocked should be apparent. While she wished she could have a normal family that would take the time to actually get to know and accept her boyfriend, she just had Leon. And the two certainly didn’t like each other. Yet…Josh talked to him? As in civil conversation. About…Did Papa really talk about Mama? It was beyond comprehension. Both the fact that Josh approached the man, and that Leon had spoke of something like that to him.
She stayed silent as he continued to explain, talking of how he went to the library to apparently research, and her stomach did a weird flip when he took out a book. Nell kept her eyes on it as he told her that she had no signs of…of what? ”There’s…there’s signs?” Her voice was soft. Was what happened to her mother defineable? Was there a way to trace this? She bit her lip and listened as he continued, saying that Leon—her father, of all people—actually talked to him about what he’d meant. ”Good qualities. Oh,” she said. Her voice wasn’t disbelieving—her mother did have good qualities—just gentle and slow because of the shock she was still experience over what Josh had done. Normally, she would have been upset at someone prying into things like this, especially by going to her father, but this was Josh. That made it different. He had said she didn’t need to look at the book, but she wanted these answers. ”Can I…?” Nell asked before taking the book into her hands, bracing herself before looking at the page. She stiffened when she saw what it said. ”There’s a name for it,” she whispered, brushing her fingers against the text as if to make sure it was real. They had a name for everything wrong with the world. Killing your mother is called matricide, hurting the one you love is called abuse. So of course there would be a name for this. She hated labels, painting Mia as a psychotic depressive as this tome informed her, not giving room for a human being, but as she read it, she realized it was her mother. She had to look away for a moment, eyes screwed shut as she willed the memories away. ”It sounds like her,” she said, her voice quiet as she looked back down. ”Doesn’t sound like me. So I guess…that is good.” She was very much in touch with reality. The world was bright and wonderful, she wasn’t always looking over her shoulder or thinking everyone was out to get her—no paranoid delusions. And she’d never lay a hand on anyone else, and she’d never thought about harming herself. But will this ever be me? It said that it could be genetic, but that they couldn’t really trace it back…
Realizing how it might have sounded—her voice and demeanor as withdrawn as it was—she didn’t want Josh to think he’d upset her by doing this. After all, she knew that he was distressed, too, and the fact that he’d come back, even though he knew what could happen to her, made her more happy than she was anxious. She looked at him with imploring eyes. ”So you went to my father,” she repeated with a lighter tone in her voice, ”And all this time…you were researching.” Nell didn’t really understand it, why he’d went through the trouble. Why did he just drop it when he realized his girlfriend could turn out to be just like her psychotic depressive—as she knew it to be now—mother? She leanedi n and kissed Josh to show just how grateful she was for what he’d done, for not just…abandoning her. Resting her forehead against his, she said, ”Thank you so much.” Her voice was flooded with sincerity and warmth. Could she believe that she was okay? She didn’t really know right now, but she did know that Josh had to go through a lot because of her and she wanted to make it easier for him.
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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Oct 28, 2011 17:24:35 GMT -5
His lips twitched into a soft smile. "I'm okay, too." He had been insanely worried for the past week but now all of that was starting to evaporate in light of the positive news he'd discovered. Joshua was quite alarmed and surprised by her sudden reaction to his comment about eating habits, not having expected anything like this at all. It was normal for him to skip a day or two of eating if he was under a lot of stress, or at least to eat less than he usually did. The Fire elemental didn't think too much on that because he carefully monitored his diet all other times--he practically had to, being a vegetarian and all. "Nell, relax, it's alright," he insisted, gray eyes wide. He didn't want her to worry or fret over him. He felt bad for concerning her when she should be worrying more about herself but in hindsight there was no way he could have known she'd react so strongly. He always knew that Nell loved to eat but he hadn't seen it as something she promoted almost obsessively in other people. "I am not starved, Nell." He was hungry, though, and he wasn't going to refuse the offer of food just because his girlfriend was exasperating him with her insistence. "What about you?" he asked, noting that she had not brought back anything for herself. Knowing Nell she'd have eaten a couple times already but she had mentioned that she was zapping the leftovers before he came, which served the assumption that she was planning to again. "What's with the panic attack?" he wondered a little more seriously. "A few days without food isn't going to kill me, it's not like I've never done it before."
Joshua was not surprised by her reaction. He had figured that it might stun her, the idea that he'd went to a man he could not stand for answers about all of this. "It was the only thing I could think of." He had only taken the risk because he felt like it was his only and last resort. Nell had shut herself down on the subject of her mother, the woman herself was dead and her husband, hate Josh though he may, would know better than anyone what sort of person she had been. So he'd sucked up his pride and bitterness for Nell's sake. It had paid off in the end so Joshua did not regret it. "He wasn't too thrilled to see me, of course, but I'll give him credit--he gave me what I asked for." He did not elaborate on what this was because he didn't know if Nell wanted to hear it right now. He was taking this at a slow pace so that his girlfriend could digest it on her own terms. He did not know the full details of what life with her mother had been like or the things she'd done to Nell but he didn't want to bring too much of it to the surface by mentioning things that Leon had told him and pointing out her faults. She knows what happened with her mother, she just doesn't want to tell me. This did concern him slightly but he was understanding enough that he let it alone. Some subjects were just too personal to share with anyone.
He simply nodded, his gaze as soft as her tone had been as he watched her carefully. She seemed to be taking this well, at least. "Of course," he said, handing her the book when she asked for it. He had brought it here for her to look over it if she'd wanted, after all. Joshua himself already knew what it said. Of course he was going to have to take all of these books back to the library soon enough but there was a two week borrowing period and so if she wanted to look into it further he'd be more than happy to let her. Josh trusted Nell with his own possessions so he'd trust her with the borrowed ones of the library, too. There was an odd twist in his gut as Nell looked away and closed her eyes. What could she be thinking of? He wanted to ask her if she was alright but he almost felt like speaking would be a bad idea. Joshua stayed silent and chewed the inside of his lip anxiously as he waited. Thankfully she seemed to recover. "No, he agreed. "It doesn't sound like you at all." She was not the only one relieved by this. The idea that his girlfriend was completely sane and normal was like a huge weight lifted off his shoulders, honestly. It was not indefinitely genetic and so he believed that she could avoid it. She'd never seemed to have anything particularly wrong with her before. She ate a lot and she was closed off but gluttony and secrecy did not equal insanity.
He just smiled when she spoke next, nodding. He had done all of the research because he'd wanted this to be okay, because he loved her, he wanted her to be okay. He kissed her back when she leaned forward, glad that they could be together again after the stressful week of uncertainty. He probably would have come back to her even if the prognosis had been very grim but would they be able to share a moment like this? Likely not. It might have been awkward or Nell would have been upset or he would have been panicking, or... or something. That didn't matter now because everything was turning out okay. "Any time," he replied quietly.
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Post by NELL DOE DALE on Oct 28, 2011 20:31:41 GMT -5
Nell couldn’t really believe that he was okay upon hearing that he hadn’t really been eating. He appeared to be surprised by her distress, which she didn’t understand—he hadn’t been eating right, of course she’s freaking out. Hands on her hips, she gave Josh a stern look. ”It’s still not good to skip out on meals.” She blinked, realizing just how much she sounded like a mother. Oh jeez. But it was true. Three meals a day was important, and if Josh wasn’t getting that, he was causing damage to his health. ”You might not be starved, but that’s not healthy!” The logical side of her brain told her to stop, she’s being a nagging freak, but she couldn’t help it. Other people’s health was very important to her, and eating right was a big part of that. Sometimes she wondered if she should be a dietician, but that was something to do with the future, and those thoughts weren’t welcome. She blushed when he pointed out the fact that she hadn’t gotten food, her firm look faltering. ”I ate a few hours ago,” she said, before quickly adding so the words jumbled together, ”And I kind of forgot…” That was how much Josh had managed to worry her—she forgot about food. Nell shook her head at his next words. She had a reason for her panic attack, most certianly. ”Not like you’ve never…!” she trailed off in exasperation before repeating all that he had said. She sighed, and told him, ”I’ve seen what can happen, that's why I'm having a panic attack. A few days can turn into weeks, and then...” She shook her head. Now solemn, she said, ”You need to be careful, Josh.” It was dangerous to let your diet shift so much, your body needed things. He should know this, he was the one who wanted to be a doctor!
Biting her lip, Nell looked down when she realized why he had to go to Leon. It wasn’t like she’d been able to tell him much. Did he understand, though? Her mother was the worst subject for her, and she hadn’t meant to make it worse for him. But it had, because besides her, all he had was Leon…and Jane. She almost laughed when she considered this. Even Leon was ridiculious to consider, though. Nell tilted her head with curiosity. ”What did you ask him?” She couldn’t imagine it was too much. Admittedly, Nell didn’t know everything about her father, of course not. As a child, she was closer to him than she ever was with her mother, but eleven years changed people. It changed both of them. So she couldn’t predict how he would react to Josh coming over and asking questions. But apparently it went well. ”That’s…that’s pretty incredible, actually,” she said, still rather stunned that for one, Josh went to him, and for another, Leon spoke to him. He had actually helped the boyfriend she hated. Nell was very comfortable with feeling the love she had for Josh, but she didn’t like having much fondness for Leon. She really didn’t know how she felt about him, but she was bordering on respect now. Just a little bit.
Nell played with the bracelets on her wrists, trying to organize information in her head while forcing too many hazardous thoughts of her mother away. It was rather difficult reading the words on paper, because she could remember just how far gone she’d been, even in the beginning when she was still young. The fact that the perfect word to describe her existed made her connect too many things to her past. Mia calling her Tilly, and Nell cutting her hair so she’d get her mother’s love as Nell, and Mia taking those scissors and—She closed the book, staring ahead for a moment so she could build up her defense against the memory before looking at Josh. ”I don’t want to become like that,” she said simply. ”So I won’t.” If she was determined enough to keep herself from ending up like her mother, it would be okay, right? She could make it okay. ”I guess this means I can take my jewelry out of the tank,” she said, remembering that she’d put it in the toilet for safe-keeping. The freezer was definitely better. And she would keep singing Madama Butterfly if she wanted to, and she would speak however she liked, because she was Nell Shepherd, not Mia Sinclair. She had made it a point to separate herself from her family, and that included her parents. Even Jane comparing her to Leon did not sit well with her. She wasn’t her parents, or her family, and she just had to keep telling herself that. Luckily, she had Josh to tell her that, too. She was still touched by the fact that he went through so much trouble to look into this, that he faced her over-protective father. It would be terrifying to lose him, whether it was to insanity or anything else.
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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Oct 28, 2011 21:29:58 GMT -5
Though he understood that as a couple it was natural for the pair to worry about one another, Josh couldn't help but feel that Nell was overreacting a little. He was also feeling a little offended by the way she seemed to underestimate him. I can take care of myself, he thought rather indignantly, frowning. Nell seemed honestly worried about this and so he didn't want to be short with her but he also didn't want to be treated like a minor or something like that. "Will you please calm down?" The request turned out as polite as he'd hoped, if a little exasperated. She was fussing over him like a mother hen--it was sweet, sure, but it was completely unnecessary in his opinion. "Of course you did," he sighed when she blushed and admitted forgetting to make herself food. "See? All that worrying about me and you've forgotten about yourself." His tone was a little more gentle this time around. Though he did occasionally experience prickles of irritation with her they quickly faded. With love came tolerance, he supposed. And he did love Nell. That was why he had gone through all of this trouble for her in the first place. He bit back a snippy retort to her next words and instead forced himself to reply calmly, "That would only be a concern, Nell, if I made a habit of this. And I don't." Rolling his eyes, he excused himself for a moment to go out to his car and retrieve a small black journal-like book and a bag full of bottles. Some of these made noise when he picked them up, indicating that they were still full. Returning to her apartment, Joshua deposited both before her and raised an eyebrow. "Vitamins," he said dismissively to the collection of bottles, "and this." He flipped it open--in his neat writing it contained an index full of suggested recipes and references as well as a list taped to the inside of the front cover that suggested what the average vegetarian needed in their daily diet. Some things were circled in red pen with corrections written beside them--he'd adjusted the list to his own specifics of height and weight over time. "I've got most of it memorized," he said, for the book was several years old, "but I keep it around just in case. I do watch my diet, Nell."
Josh hesitated, wondering whether he should tell her the things that he'd asked of Leon. Would she be offended that he had went to her father in order to get the answers he couldn't give? She didn't seem too upset thus far and so Joshua figured it was safe. This was Nell and she'd never gotten too angry with him before. He needed to grow accustomed to the fact that she was not as sensitive in temperament as his father had been or as he himself was. He really was lucky to have someone so kind-hearted around, especially since she tolerated him in such a forgiving manner. "I asked about your mother," he admitted quietly. "I needed to know what she was like and I didn't want to press you too much." Even Joshua was surprised at how helpful the man had been and so he did not blame Nell for feeling the same way. Although, Joshua was probably a little more understanding. Leon had told him why he was going to help, after all. "It was because of you, Nell," he pointed out. His voice was still quiet but his lips twitched into the slightest hint of a smile. Like the girl herself, he hated giving Leon credit--all the same, credit where credit was due. He had done this for his daughter as much as Joshua had done it for his girlfriend and he was not going to selfishly keep that back from her just because he could not stand the man. "We both care about you, our... differences did not matter at the time." He was putting it lightly with use of the word 'differences' but he did not think it very wise to insult a man who had just given him what he needed to repair the things Nell had been going through. He'd keep such nasty thoughts to himself, especially around his girlfriend.
He was glad for Nell's optimism. Joshua was trying to be as positive and supportive about this as he possibly could be but all of that would have been for nothing if Nell did not believe it within herself. "Well said," he replied, nodding. He was confident that Nell could fight it off with a positive mindset, as long as she didn't have to endure the pain and suffering her mother had. True, she'd suffered in the past but that was behind her now. We just have to get this trial out of the way. Even the thought made him feel a little sick. Would jail turn her mind awry if she did not make it out of this trial? He didn't want to consider this and so he forcibly expelled the thought from his mind. He would be positive. If not for himself then for the girlfriend he was very much in love with. "Want to go grab something quick to eat?" he offered. "I know you're probably hungry," he smirked in amusement, "and I guess I could do with another quick snack. Plus, I want some air. All that studying is giving me cabin fever." His gray eyes sparkled with amusement to suggest that he was joking about the cabin fever bit. He really did want some fresh air, though. Besides, what better way to get it then by spending time with his girlfriend? They were not stuck together like glue or in each other's company twenty-four seven--both had lives outside one another, Nell had a job. But they still did hang out a lot.
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Post by NELL DOE DALE on Oct 28, 2011 23:07:38 GMT -5
Nell knew about Josh’s pride, but she was too busy fussing over him to think about the fact she might be wounding it by treating him like a child. Still, she relented a bit to cross her arms and stare at him when he requested tha she calm down. She felt properly chastised, however, when he commented on her forgetting about herself, like the roles were now reversed. ”Well…I…” she said, growing more flustered. She finally managed to squeak, ”This isn’t about me.” Even though to Josh she was overreacting, this was a perfectly normal reaction to have when finding out that your boyfriend hasn’t been eating right for her. All she was thinking of was how Tilly would indignantly refuse food in front of her parents and secretly tell Nell why, that her stomach hurt really bad. And she’d cry at night from the hunger, and shake her head when Nell tried to offer something she could consume. It was painful, watching her sister turn into a skeleton and it traumatized her enough that she became very conscious of eating and diets. She watched someone close to her suffer a slow death—she didn’t want it to happen to anyone else. It should have been apparent to her, though, that Josh was not sick like Till had been and that not eating for a few days wasn’t necessarily detrimental. But she still didn’t like the fact that he hadn’t been eating right. Nell blinked when he said that he didn’t make a habit of this, waiting in confusion as he left. And she continued to stare dumbly when he showed her the bottles of vitamins and the book which spoke of an obssessive-compulsive dietary regimen. ”Oh,” she said simply. She…had not expected that one at all. Shifting a bit uncomfortable realizing that she’d made a fool of herself, she said, ”I’m sorry for freaking out on you. I…uh…didn’t know.” Nell just wasn’t aware that he had these things. Good thing she didn’t have much pride herself—apologizing and admitting her mistakes was pretty easy, if not still embarrassing. Then cheerfully, she added, "I'm glad you take care of yourself."
If it was anyone else who’d gone to her father to pry into her life, she would have felt rather violated. But this was Josh, and he was a part of her personal life. She’d shared more with him than anyone else, which was why he even knew about her father when no one else knew she had parents. It was quite possible that she was congealed in a petry dish, for all they knew. She was more surprised than anything about his actions, that he was willing to go to Leon. Her eyes widened slightly when Josh confirmed her suspcions. ”He talked about her?” she murmured. Nell remembered what her father had told her when he first came back—that he’d loved her mother. When she asked why he’d left, then, he didn’t reply. Now she understood. It was hard to watch a loved one fall apart, and it was similar to what she’d gone through with Tilly. She didn’t know whether this empathy was a good or bad thing. It only got worse when Josh said that it was for her that he talked about something that must have hurt him more than he ever let on. For a moment, she was caught in a mixture of emotions, and she tensed before letting out a breath. It was hard realizing that her father really did love her, because it was making the bitterness fade. ”I really don’t think I can thank you enough,” she said quietly. Her father, too, and it was strange that she felt this kinship, how a daughter should feel about her father. She didn’t know whether she wanted it or not at this point in time. But no matter what, she was just glad that he didn’t tear into Josh. That definitely would not have been good for their relationship. And she didn’t want to lose her boyfriend like she feared she would in the week they were estranged.
Nell was slowly cleansing her brain of all the worries that Leon’s words had implemented. She allowed herself to move without wondering if Mia had done the same things. If I don’t let it happen, it won’t. Mind over matter, as they say. Hopefully that—and Josh’s support—would be all she needed to fend off any infection of the mind. When he mentioned food, she smiled and scratched the back of her head. ”Food and air sound pretty good,” she agreed. They were both pretty much a daily requirement. Like Josh and his lighthearted remark about cabin fever, she didn’t like spending too much time in her apartment because it was so slow, and though she managed to keep her claustrophobia at bay most of the time, it was still rather uncomfortable for her to sit inside and do nothing. ”Where do you wanna go? Since you want a quick snack and I really haven’t eaten too long ago, we could probably hit up a fast food joint.” She tried to avoid fast food as much as possible thanks to her health concerns, but she was a sucker for convenience. If only fast food could be…health food. She didn’t think she’d have much luck with that.
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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Oct 28, 2011 23:42:01 GMT -5
Joshua was glad that Nell seemed to ease up on him after he proved to her how careful he was about the things that he ate. His father had scared him as a kid with a lot of health facts and he had practically been frightened into being so careful about it but he didn't feel like going into all of that now. It was enough for Joshua that Nell was no longer fussing over him and trying to insist that he needed to stuff himself with food lest he shrivel up and die. He did wonder why it had freaked her out so much but he just pushed it aside in his head. This is Nell, this is food, is any other explanation needed? He left it there because he was satisfied within himself. He could never have guessed that it was the condition of her weak and dying sister that made her so afraid for other people. "It's okay," he assured her when she apologised. Though he was very prideful and did not like apologising himself, he was surprisingly easy to apologise to. If he liked you enough he would accept it and not rub your faults in your face. "It's nice that you're concerned about me, at any rate." He smiled, the words light and teasing, not unkindly. "You sound like my mother did sometimes." It wasn't an insult, just a casual observation.
A quiet dip of his head was the only response for a long moment. He wondered once again how much he should be saying, then decided that a little bit would be enough. "He mentioned a very good point, actually," said Joshua. "We are all like our parents in some ways." He hadn't really thought about it until Leon had pointed it out but even Joshua had a lot of qualities that both Donovan and Patricia shared. He had their combined temper thanks to Fire elemental genetics, of course, but there was more than that. He had the natural leadership qualities of his mother but the more reclusive and solemn demeanour of his father. He tapped his fingers when he was thinking and he'd caught Patricia doing the very same thing sometimes when she was anxious or when she'd gone quiet. He had also inherited the woman's enjoyment for music and his father's intelligence, though the two men handled their smarts differently. Donovan had not been overly ambitious whereas Joshua, like Trish, had a lot of ambition. "There's no need to," he told her honestly. "I just wanted to help you." Now that he had, he was content with that alone.
Though he did not have Earth elemental genes to excuse his liking of nature, perhaps it was the fact that he'd grown up in the mountain town of Maple Hollow that was to blame. He loved hiking and the great outdoors. He liked to walk along little-used trails in forests and push through new paths where few people had gone before, liked to observe the animals flitting about and trying to stay away from where he walked. Sometimes he regretted that he could not enjoy water and beaches quite as much as some people but in the end this was something he could always accept and brush off. He was afraid of the water and thus he stayed away from it. "Fast food is alright with me, as long as it's nothing too unfriendly to my diet regimen." He winked and grinned a little, making a reference to the fact that she now knew how seriously he took it. He really didn't hold it against Nell that she'd panicked, it had just caught him off guard for a little while. He had already moved beyond that. "Hmm... how about Subway?" It had sandwiches with both meat-free and meat-friendly options.
Once they'd reached their desired location and were waiting in line to order, Joshua winced apologetically as his phone buzzed in his pocket and he took it out. The number was unlisted and so he did not know who it was, though he was worried that it might be important. Joshua did not get a lot of phone calls but he generally answered those he did receive just in case. "I should probably check this," he said. "Hold our spot for me?" He gave her another glance in apology and then rushed outside and hit 'answer'. "Fucking telemarketers," he hissed a moment later, turning it off and rolling his eyes. Before he could even think about going back inside, however, something hit him from behind and practically tackled him into a hug. He would immediately have reacted with aggression and thrown them off after regaining his footing and managing not to topple over if there hadn't been a triumphant cry of, "Guess who, Joshy?" and a leggy blonde pecking him on the cheek before letting him go.
Oh, for fucks sakes. Vie was not the person he wanted to see right now. Trying to make it subtle so that his cousin did not notice, Joshua tapped the window and gestured to Nell whilst still keeping his gaze trained on his cousin. "Hey, Vie, how are you?" he sighed in resignation. "I'm okay," she shrugged, then said with a sly smirk, "I'd ask how you were doing but you look great. Do you work out?" She giggled and leaned on his arm, earning a roll of his eyes in return. "Yes," he said impatiently, "but not for your benefit, thank you very much."
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Post by NELL DOE DALE on Oct 29, 2011 17:09:43 GMT -5
Nell was a little embarrassed for flipping out like she did, but it was her natural reaction, it was involuntary. Had she known that he normally took care of himself and that this had just been a lapse in his normally strict diet, she’d have reacted much differently. But of course there were things about her boyfriend that she didn’t know, and this was just one of them. Nell sighed. ”Well of course I’m concerned about you!” This was said with a smile as she shook her head. She scratched the side of her head and tittered when he compared her to his mother. Nell really wouldn’t understand how that is, she just learned it through observation. Mia was like a real mother to Tilly, always worrying about her and fussing over her much like Nell just did to Josh. But the Earth girl had never gotten that treatment, and so she took Josh’s word for it. She always thought that Trish was how a real mother should be.
Nell snorted at his next words, shaking her head a bit but didn’t say what was on her mind. Leon would know, being so much like his parents even though he’d rather deny that. Nell didn’t want to be at all like her parents, either. She didn’t want to make the same mistakes they had, that her family had. But apparently, Leon was right—she was like him, after all. When upset, she responded with sarcasm. She inherited his cowardice and his inability to face things. Nell was the worst part of him, and the best part of her mother. But she did understand that just because she picked up some of the things her mother did—that she inherited her need for independence, her energy, her habits--it didn’t mean she was close to losing her mind like the woman. It just meant that she had to endure a lifetime with the woman, and… and I could have helped her. Nell didn’t want to think abou that, about how she could have made everything right if she’d just reached out to someone. It was too late. Besides, that shouldn’t have been her responsibility. The adults in her life just had a habit of not acting like adults. Josh told her that he didn’t need her thanks, but she really felt like she should make it up to him in some way.
Nell’s face heated up when he mentioned his diet regimen, still embarrassed about her reaction to hearing that he hadn’t been eating. ”Ditto,” she replied easily, though. She may not have been vegetarian, but she still needed to watch herself. Needless to say, she ate a lot, so she needed to make sure she didn’t overeat. ”Subway sounds good,” she agreed, getting her wallet off the coffee table and stuffing into her back pocket. She didn’t really consider Subway fast food—“There needs to be fries for it to be fast food!”—but it still was cheap. The voice that would usually convince her to go to a more expensive restaurant kept surprisingly quiet. Even though he had done it for her, Leon still helped out Josh and there was respect in that. Because it proved something to her. The reason she’d been spending all his money because she thought he believed it could fix their relationship. She wanted to show him that it didn’t work like that, and apparently he got the hint. He knew that money wouldn’t solve their problems, and that part of her bitterness was fading.
While deciding what she’d get—of course the sandwhich would be overloaded, but that was about as much she knew—Josh excused himself to answer his fun and she simply smiled to show that she didn’t mind. ”Will do,” she assured him before looking back at the clear glass to decide what she was going to get. After she decided everything she wanted on her sub and committed it to memory, she turned to see an unfamiliar blond holding onto her boyfriend and kissing him on the cheek. Oh? Nell was not a jealous person, but of course someone hanging off her boyfriend didn’t sit well with her. What girl liked that? Of course, that didn’t mean she was about to take out her earrings and rip off her fake nails and fight a bitch…because she didn’t wear them in the first place. And her mind didn’t instantly go to cheating. She’d done that before, and learned her lesson, thank you very much. Still, she did feel that prickling of protectiveness over Josh, and at his motion for her to come out, she left the line and headed outside with a cheery, ”Hey. Uh…I lost our place in line,” she said unnecessarily, since she’d clearly left the building, but she didn’t really know what else to say.
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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Oct 29, 2011 18:24:04 GMT -5
Perhaps Joshua should have been a lot more obvious and pointed in his rejection of the blonde, but honestly he was sick and tired of this after so many years. He'd known her from youth and she'd started her flirting a few years ago so he was, sadly, used to it by now. He wasn't entirely sure whether she was serious or whether she just did it to bother him but either way he was practically numb to it. Of course, the fact that Nell was around changed things a bit. If he'd been thinking he should have made it perfectly clear that he and Sylvie had no semblance of history or anything awkward like that but he wasn't thinking along those lines. Not, that is, until Nell actually emerged from the Subway thanks to his gesturing and stated the obvious. "Eh, that's fine," he shrugged, not wanting to reveal to Vie that this had been totally intentional. He was not going to let his cousin know that he was bringing Nell out here on purpose to stop her from annoying him but his girlfriend might realise once he got introductions out of the way.
Brushing his lips against hers very briefly, he turned to Sylvie and said pointedly, "Oh, that's right, you two haven't met. This is Nell." His lips pressed together for a moment in a tight line as he remembered that Vie was the very same person who'd nearly caused Nell to break up with him thanks to a simple case of drunk dialing. He wondered briefly whether she was still with the boyfriend that she'd been cheating on or whether he'd found out and dumped her ass. Personally, he was hoping for the latter. "I mentioned her a few times. You know, my girlfriend?" His eyes narrowed for a moment and hers widened as she seemed to take the hint. "Oooh," she said, not seeming too embarrassed by this fact. Blue eyes swept critically over Nell for a moment before she appeared to lose interest and proclaimed, "Um, can't you do better than that, Joshy?" Both this comment and the garish nickname were almost enough to set off his temper. Fingers curling into a dangerous fist at his side, Joshua drew a slow breath. "You mean like you? I think you need to re-evaluate the meaning of 'better'."
He gave Nell a half-irritated and half-apologetic glance. He would have preferred to keep these two from meeting at all but if they were fated to cross paths he'd have chosen a much nicer scenario. At least if they'd been amongst family she wouldn't have been so bold but unfortunately Joshua didn't have his family to hide behind any more. "Sylvie is my cousin," he said, and the long look he gave her hopefully said it all without saying. He was not trying to remind Nell of the time she'd nearly fucked up their relationship but was instead trying to warn her that his relative was not a nice person to be around. He wanted to shake her off as soon as possible and he hoped that he could use Nell's company to do so. She was much better to hang around with than Vie. "Well, nice seeing you again," he said both untruthfully and dismissively. "Nell and I should really get going. The line's just going to get longer." He barely spared her a second glance, eager to get out of her company. His cousin shot Nell a sour look but seemed to take the hint and strolled off in the direction which she'd came.
Once they were back inside the sanctuary of the restaurant he shook his head and sighed. "I'm sorry about that," he said. Joshua had issues with apologising for himself but he could certainly try and do it for other people. "I take it she and her mother will be in town a few days. I'd really rather avoid them both." He always tried to hide his distaste around the rest of the family when they were over--especially Trish, seeing as it was her sister and niece in question. However, Joshua was not as patient and forgiving when he was with someone else who was not related to him. Hell, he'd rather have Nell in his family than her. That's a bit harsh, his conscience pointed out fairly. As usual in situations like these, it was ignored. He waited until he could get his sandwich and then turned to Nell. "Want to eat here or take it to the park or something?" They had left the apartment for air as well so he just decided he would suggest somewhere like the park if she was up for it.
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