I CANNOT LET THEM WIN , (nell!)

[NELL DOE DALE]

León merely blinked as Joshua informed him about his mother. The only thing that he picked up was the boy’s politeness, noting that he might have been hiding underneath. However, he was predisposed to be suspicious. ”A politician,” the man remarked as if considering this. ”I know quite a bit about having relatives in high places, though they are in America and Spain. As a matter of fact, my father is the District Attorney in New York.” León had no qualms about sharing personal information about his family, because they had nothing to have. They were upstanding people, as well. Even though their influence did not reach Canada, they were a highly publicized family. His grandfather—heart like a bull, they say, even in his nineties—was a wealthy banker who’d moved to the capital city of Madrid. León himself barely kept in contact with his family, but that was because he felt he’d estranged himself over twenty-five years ago.

His suspicions about Joshua were not quashed when the latter easily dismisssed his “eleven years” remark, but he kept them to himself. The man wasn’t going t ask him what he knew about his family’s history, especially in case he was wrong about this. He had quite a bit of pride, pride that wouldn’t like it if he were made a fool of. However, he would be asking Nell about that. Some things were meant to be personal, after all, a rather hypocritical belief for someone so blunt and callous. He paid mind to Joshua’s words. Moved here? Even though it didn’t show, he was amused by this. She hadn’t moved, but at this point León was unaware that Joshua knew about the charges and trial. Nell was holding out as long as possible in divulging that piece of information, waiting until last minute so her father wouldn’t be able to protest her boyfriend’s presence at the trial.

León noticed thath is company was not too keen in sharing, and then Joshua made it perfectly clear on the matter when he said that he would not tell anything about what the two have discussed. Which was unfortunate, because he knew Nell was not a fountain of information, either. She seemed to be keeping him at arm’s length, something that didn’t please him. ”Between you?” he reiterated, his brown eyes steady. ”I believe I have a right to be privy to some things, especially when my daughter ends up in jail because of you.” Of course, he had scolded nell for that—not being able to go into actual punishment—but he mostly blamed Joshua for that incident. The girl was in enough trouble as is—she didn’t need someone who had all the airs of being a troublemaker to help with that. ”I simply want to know what kind of boy my daughter hasn't gotten herself involved with." Still, he was wearing his usual mask of indifference, but it was obvious now that he was trying to be protective of Nell. Nodding, the man managed to express some restraint in the matter of the scar. ”Undertood,” he said simply. It didn’t mean that he was any less suspicious, of course. But respect was something he liked to try a hand at. ”I apologize for asking.” Now, he wasn’t exactly remorseful, but he did have it in him to apologize.

Nell luckily returned soon after, balking when she saw her father speaking to Josh. Oh no, was her immediate thought, eyes wide. She had been pretty hellbent in keeping her family away from her life, but her boyfriend seemed to have the worst of luck in that department. Taking a deep breath and smiling, she approached the two, cap back on her head. ”So this is where you’ve gotten to, Papa,” she said to her father, as if she’d been looking around for him. ”Yes,” the man returned, his eyes still on Josh’s. She felt dread in her stomach, wondering what the two had been talking about before she'd come along. ”I was looking for you, actually, and I found Joshua instead.” He finally regarded Nell when he said, ”We should be leaving soon. Jane said she planned on stopping over today.” The truth was that she said that she’d be heading over a little later, but a little white lie never hurt anyone, in his mind. He checked his watch and Nell resisted rolling her eyes at the mention of the woman. Resisiting snark, she chimed, ”I’m sure you two can get along fine without me. I’d like to stay here and get a game in with Josh.” León lifted his eyes from his watch and said, ”How do you plan on getting home, mija? I’m your ride.” Nell blinked as she opened herm outh to find an argument, and then closed it. Then, she said, ”Public transportation.” Nell really didn’t want to have to go with her father, especially since she found Josh now and Jane was dangerous for her blood pressure. ”I’ll figure it out.” She made it to Canada without a car, getting back to her apartment should be no problem.

[JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE]

Joshua continued to smile pleasantly as if he had nothing whatsoever against the man he was conversing with. "Oh, really? How nice." It was not necessary to add anything else but Joshua was enjoying the fact that Leon seemed to have little power in Canada. Of course Josh had no power either but having parents that were better than this asshole was good enough. "Most of my relatives are in Canada." They had a few scattered across the British Isles and some that had moved to America but the core of the family were located right in British Columbia. Patrick did not live in Maple Hollow and Patricia's parents lived way out east, however. He was just glad that his mother didn't announce some sudden desire to relocate to Ottawa because it was the centre of political action. He wasn't too big on reminiscing--Joshua would have probably accepted a move in stride last year, before he'd actually settled down himself. As long as the family had stayed together and he still got a pretty big room in a pretty big house Josh could have adapted. But now he had Nell and he couldn't envision just up and leaving her because mother dearest wanted to make herself more available to the political market. Nah, Mum's doing well enough where she is, he thought. She'd never want to leave the Hollow, she grew up here too.

Perhaps Joshua should have been more careful around Leon--for all he knew, the man could make things very difficult between he and Nell. They didn’t discuss her father very often and so Josh didn’t know exactly how much pull the older man had over his daughter. Joshua had just assumed that her bitterness toward abandonment and the fact that she used every possible effort to troll him was a good sign for their prospective future relationship. Certainly a much better sign than the trial that might end that relationship prematurely in a few months time. This brought with it a feeling of contempt. I’m one of the few people supporting your daughter in this thing, asshole, care to be a little more polite? Of course, Leon was being polite but Josh thought it might have been falsified. After all, he himself was putting on an act for the sake of niceties. Then a thought occurred to him--had Nell informed Leon that Joshua would be accompanying them to America for the trial? He almost wanted to ask or hint at this in some way but decided it was for the best to stay quiet. What if he didn’t know? That would be an awkward situation that Josh wasn’t sure he wanted to deal with right now. Perhaps he would bring it up with Nell later. He didn’t want to discuss matters concerning he and his girlfriend with her father.

Nor did he want to discuss the jail situation, which Leon brought up a moment later. Gray eyes met brown in an unwavering stare--it took everything Joshua had not to narrow his eyes and glare at him. He didn’t like the sorts of things that Leon was implying. “If Nell hasn’t disclosed the details then I don’t see why I should,” he replied. His tone was still polite but possibly a little sharper around the edges. Leon was very good at trying Joshua’s patience. He was doing good with keeping his temper in check but a few more well-placed questions like this and Josh knew he couldn’t promise himself against a few snide remarks. Nell will be back soon, he tried to soothe himself. She wouldn’t want you going for her father, especially not in such a public place. This managed to assuage his rage a little, if only temporarily. “Ah, so you have issues with my seeing Nell, do you? That’s something, again, that you’ll need to take up with her.” This time his tone was definitely more firm and direct. He was not going to step out of the way just because the father who’d left her for eleven years didn’t think that Nell had made the correct choice of boyfriends. He didn’t care if her father approved or not. Of course, it would have been nice to have the word of approval but seeing as he wasn’t going to get it Joshua wasn’t going to waste his breath trying. Nell could make her own decisions. Josh respected that even if Leon didn’t.

Joshua nearly breathed an audible sigh of relief when Nell returned. He smiled at her as if nothing had transpired between the two men and said, “Hey, Nell. I was starting to wonder what was taking so long!” His tone was light and accompanied by a bit of a laugh to indicate joking. Unlike what he’d told her father Joshua had known exactly where Nell was going and exactly what she was going to do. He just hadn’t planned on giving the man the satisfaction of knowing. Noting that Leon’s eyes were on him, Joshua directed his attention back to the man without hesitation. No, he was not going to back down from this. It felt almost like a challenge. Nevertheless, he wasn’t going to say anything whilst Leon was still in their company. He was a bit irritated when the man told Nell they should be leaving--I’d bet that’s a ploy to keep her away from me…--but his faith in Nell was restored when she refused. Shaking his head, he said, “Public transport? Please. I have a car, I can give you a ride back. It’s no trouble, I know how to get to your apartment from here.” Partially because he was living there, though he was intelligent enough to keep that information out of a certain man’s reach. “So, how about that tennis match?”

[NELL DOE DALE]

León had caught on to the fact that Joshua was flaunting his family’s power in Canada, but he—of course—didn’t acknowledge this with a facial expression other than ‘placid’. In his mind, the boy was still a spoiled rich kid, almost like he had been once. He had never cared for his parents’ wealth much, however. Apparently that was different than Joshua. ”Interesting,” was his response. His family may have been big shots, but that didn’t get him any points in León’s book. Once he’s made his mind up, there was no changing him from that path. But it seemed they were both stubborn, especially Josh in relaying any details. No, Nell hadn’t told him anything about what had happened—he’d threatened her with deportation and she’d snapped at him, and maybe he could have handled the situation better. He didn’t know, but he was aware of the fact that being a father did not come easy, no matter how many years you’ve been going through it. ”You have a point,” he acknowledged. Joshua made it clear that he wasn’t divulging anything about him or his relationship with Nell to him, and that irritated the man. He believed he had a right to know at least some things about her life—especially because of her situation—but both she and her boyfriend were tight-lipped about it.

Unfortunately, Josh’s words were too true. Nell was an adult, living on her own, and Leon was trying to grasp at tenuous strands of hope in finally gettign down this parenting thing. There was only so much left he could do, and he believed a part of that would be protecting her from the evil boys out there. After all, he didn’t raise her beyond six years of age, and while he had tried his best to instill life lessons, Mia had been a bigger part of her life than he ever was. Nell hasn’t once talked about the eleven years he’d missed, that she’d spent alone with her mother, and it was one of the things that he wasn’t going to push on. ”I never said I had issues with you, Joshua,” he said, calm as ever. No, he didn’t directly state that he thought the boy was bad for Nell, but he was pretty spot on with that. So he wasn’t going to go on to deny the fact that he did. That would be lying. ”It is also something to take up with you,” he said, raising his eyebrows with the last words. ”I am not going to stop my daughter from seeing you, I merely want to know more about you.” That was true enough. The last part, anyway. And the first part as well, seeing Nell was particularly sensitive to him intruding in any aspect of her life that she didn’t approve of.

Nell looked away and scratched the back of her head, glad that Joshua didn’t seem bothered to her. She really was afraid of what her father may have said to him, because she understood how he could get. ”I got distracted by food,” she said, scratching her cheek. However, Nell was not oblivious to the look exchanged betwee nthe two, and this is exactly why she wanted to push her father far away at times. Like now. She would prefer Josh’s company over his, even though she wouldn’t say that out loud, even to her father. With him, she could be mean but she couldn’t ever be that hurtful. The feeling of relief was strong when Josh said that he had his car and could give her a ride. She cast him a grateful smile, before looking at León and saying, ”So you see, I’m all set. Don’t worry about it, Papa.” Her father gave her a long appraising look before nodding and stepping forward to kiss her forehead. ”Te veo,” he said, and she replied quickly with a pointed, ”Bye.” She was okay with Spanglish, but too much when they were in the company of others—namely Joshua—was very rude, in her opinion. He strolled off and she shook her head a bit.

Nell turned to Josh, blinking as she went through possible conversation topics the two might have head in her head. ”Hey, what was he talking to you about?” she asked curiously. Nell really didn’t know whether to be wary or not, but León’s personality always had her worried. ”And sorry if he said anything offensive, he’s Hispanic, they’re different over there,” she said hastily, waving her hands as if she could gesture toward the country itself. Nell just wanted to make sure that he grew up in a…different household. But that didn’t completely forgive his blunt nature. Why am I sticking up for him? That was a good question. For Joshua’s sake mostly, just so he wouldn’t be offended. She knew that her father would also be offensive because of the fact that he didn’t much approve of Joshua, even before they started going out. Nell didn’t want to point it out, though, because she didn’t care that she didn’t have her father’s ‘blessing’ for the relationship. Instead, she said, ”Also sorry for leaving you with him.” And that implied how…difficult he could be when he didn’t like someone. Even when he did like someone, he was an asshole. ”So yeah…how about that tennis game? You got it set up?”

[JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE]

Joshua was not going to start an argument but he also wanted to make it clear enough to Leon that he was not an idiot. He didn't buy the falsified politeness any more than he returned it in kind. He knew that the man didn't like him--he was used to people judging him, things came almost second nature now. Leon at least didn't publicly profess his distaste but seeing as he was the father of Josh's girlfriend his opinion mattered more than a group of gossiping girls anyway. "No, you merely implied it." He arched a dark brow as he confessed his knowledge of the situation. The man hadn't outright denied that he had issues with Joshua which only solidified his concerns--or lack thereof, he wasn't really concerned about it. Of course, it could have just been a misunderstanding of words but Josh wasn't going to be so naive. Leon seemed to know exactly what he was saying just as much as Joshua had been fully aware of the eleven years comment. "Well here's a tip for the future," he said smoothly, "Next time you want to know more about a man, don't start with the personal things." He was talking about his scar and he was sure that neither of them missed this fact. Joshua had started off with a predisposed dislike for Leon but the man had not helped his judgement.

He might not have feared the man's presence but he was nevertheless glad when he left. Joshua had not fancied spending the next hour or so making thinly veiled comments or else turning the guy even further against him. He might not have given a damn about getting the guys approval but he didn't want to make things too much worse than they already were. Not for his sake, but for Nell's. "He wanted to know where you were," Joshua said. "I didn't tell him," he added loyally after a moment. "Wasn't sure whether you wanted him to know." It wasn't like Nell had been up to anything shifty but he believed that she had a right to conceal her own presence if she felt like it. As long as she didn't make a prolonged habit of diving behind dumpsters whenever Joshua walked into a room he didn't mind if she avoided him every once and a while, either. He knew that he skipped out on hanging around her on some bad days. Everyone needed space once and a while. Even couples. That two weeks of space you gave her after your Dad kicked you out? Probably not the best idea. He ignored this thought for the most part. "Then he brought up my father, my scar, and the time we got arrested." He said this without an ounce of bitterness but it was somewhat visible in his expression. Not wanting to sound irritated but also being quite curious, he asked, "So when'd you tell him about us, anyway?"

Much as he loved Nell Joshua wasn't going to accept Spanish genes as an excuse for her fathers dickish behaviour. He crossed his arms slightly and gave her a look--not angry, merely exasperated. "He's being distasteful because he doesn't like me, Nell, not because he was raised by parents from another country." Then, relaxing his arms, Joshua decided to throw in a little humour just so that she knew he wasn't upset with her or anything. "You don't see me running around after my father, 'Was he too nice to you? Oh, I'm so sorry. It's just the Canadian genetics coming out!'" A slight smile tugged at his lips as he presented the cheesy sort of joke. Having grown up in Canada he was nevertheless aware of certain stereotypes and humour surrounding his homeland. He would never fully grasp where they got the idea that everyone was particularly nice regardless but he played along in good humour. "I get that he's your father," he said more seriously, "but defending him from me won't do much good." Joshua had made his decisions based on the things Leon had said. He wouldn't start any public arguments but he wasn't going to take pity on Spanish culture being at fault or anything like that.

Shaking his head, the Fire graduate rolled his eyes and gave her a look. "You did not leave me with him," Josh said, never quite understanding how Nell could apologise for things that weren't even her fault. He had problems admitting he was wrong even when there was no denying it, even to himself. "He merely intruded upon my company while you were gone. It's fine." It wasn't really fine but as he couldn't turn back time and make things go a different way he wasn't going to spend his time complaining about it. Crying over spilt milk just gave you red eyes and a nasal tone to your voice that lasted for the next few hours. No thank you. "I probably didn't make the best impression," he said, not sounding too bothered by this, "but that doesn't matter to you, right? You don't care if he approves?" It was voiced as a question and accompanied by a searching look. He'd feel a lot more guilty about this if Nell had been hoping the two would get along but honestly it was a lot to hope for. Glad when they could focus more on tennis, he said, "I did. I'll serve first--prepare to get your ass kicked."

[NELL DOE DALE]

The man tilted his head a bit. Yes, he had implied it. ”Then let me make it very clear to you,” he said. ”I do not like you much at all. Now we don’t need to worry about inferences.” Even with politeness, he wasn’t one to pretend to be something he wasn’t. He had tried for subtlty, but now León wanted to make it clear—not that there had been any gray areas here—that he was not fond of the boy dating his daughter whatsoever. However, he did not want to start anything. It was simply a matter of ascertaining where he stood with Joshua. If he did have a temper, Joshua’s next comment would have done well to rile him up. But her merely retorted with a wry, ”Thank you for your advice.” He’d guessed he’d touched a soft spot with the question, judging by how Joshua had reacted, and he couldn’t help but think that because it was on his face, people were bound to ask. However, other people were usual more sensitive to things like that, whereas León was clearly not.

When her boyfriend explained what her father had wanted, she waved her hand. ”Don’t worry, I wasn’t avoiding him or anything.” She would have told Josh if she was, but it was true that the man had merely went off to do his own thing and so she went to find something else to occupy her time. But there was a big part of her that was glad Josh wouldn’t divulge information so easily, even if the man was her father. She was feeling wholly relieved about the fact that they seemed to have gotten along well enough when Josh told her what else León had said. Her eyes widened in shock—even though that really shouldn’t have surprised her—before she closed them and shook her head. Rubbing her forehead with her hand, she muttered, ”Of course he did, he really needs think before he speaks.” She opened her eyes but bit back an apology. It wasn’t her fault that her father was a douchebag, even though the blood relation made her feel ery guilty. ”You…are you mad?” she asked cautiously, wondering if Leon had managed to get to him. But she reminded herself that if he was really mad, she would certainly know. Nell gave an apologetic sort of grimace, and said, ”Uh…a few months ago. I knew that he wouldn’t be pleased by it so…” Nell ducked her head as she admitted the fact that she told her father for the sole intention of angering him. ”It might have been better off if I’d just…not told him.” But she had a been trying to prove a point, one that she often believed she needed to go over with him—he couldn’t control her life and what she did, and if she wanted to go out with Josh, there was nothing he could do about it.

She winced when Josh pretty much scolded her and she said, ”Still…he tends to be…” An asshole. ”Well, you’ve met him, so now you know what he’s like.” There was a time when she looked up to her father—she knew they could never return to how it was long ago, before she realized that he had the power to do something about their situation and he simply chose not to. She clapped a hand over her mouth when she started giggling at Josh’s joke, waiting for a few moments before saying, ”All right, I get your point.” Nell grinned, felt the issue of her father was now somewhat alleviated with the joke. ”Just tell me off if I’m ever being a jerk, that’s just my New York roots.” That was one stereotype, mainly associated with the city. Still, New Yorkers seemed to be on the opposite end of the sterotype from Canadians. Nell’s face turned into an expression of resignation when she thought to tell him, ”Just understand that...he’s not really used to being a father. I think he’s trying to protect me in his own way.” For once. He still was turning a blind eye to Jane, but otherwise…well, he was attempting to make amends. She didn’t want Josh to completely hate her father, even though if he did there was nothing she could do about it, because the two men were very important in her life. Even though she was struggling with Leon. ”I know, but I…just wish you didn’t have to meet my relatives at all.” She finished the last part lamely, realizing the fact that he didn’t get along with either her aunt or her father. So she wanted to try and assuage the situation with her father, because she was trying to make it work with the man…sometimes. Other times she was too bitter toward him to even consider forgiveness.

Speaking of her family, he made the excellent point that she did not know her father would come along to bother her boyfriend. She sighed before she said, ”I guess I feel the need to apologize for my family’s…existence.” She scrunched up her nose for a second, thinking of a few other words that were not very polite and that she would not speak aloud that could describe her relatives. They were people who she really did not want in her life. She hadn’t wanted her father to come back into her life, but she had come to accept it—she had just been hoping that Joshua wouldn’t have to meet him. The trial, dummy. But as usual, she didn’t like to think about it. ”Heck to the no,” Nell replied succinctly when he asked if she minded that he didn’t make a good impression on her father. It wasn’t like he didn’t already have his own views on Josh. ”If I cared if he approved, I wouldn’t have gone out with you in the first place,” she said, shaking her head as she thought of the man. ”Think of him as a big, taxidermic bear. He looks scary, but he’s harmless. And stuffed.” And if he wanted to stay on Nell’s good side, he wouldn’t try to push his way into her life. Sticking her tongue out, she took a tennis racket and told Josh, ”Bring it, holmes. You talk big, back that up.” She waited for his serve, only now feeling ridiculous in her golfing outfit.

[JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE]

Gray eyes glittered with the dislike that Joshua himself felt. "Believe me," he said, "there was no need to stress your point." He understood the fact that Leon did not approve of him and he didn't really give a damn regardless. He hoped that the man had been serious when he'd said he didn't plan to stop Nell from seeing him, though. Josh doubted his girlfriend would be swayed by her fathers disapproval but the girl had been known to surprise him in the past and he wouldn't be all that shocked if she did it again. "I wish I could say the feelings were not mutual." They were, of course, and with these words Joshua just tossed that out on the table for the other man to consider. Now they were both being very clear in that they did not like one another. It was rather ironic that Leon didn't approve of Joshua when his daughter would soon be on trial for murder. He had gotten them arrested due to a panic attack, speeding, and a misunderstanding. Their time in jail hadn't even lasted overnight. Still, Joshua would not sink so low as to use Nell's past against her in an argument. He didn't see the death of Nell's mother as some sort of conversational pawn and he certainly wouldn't be discussing the trial with her father.

His expression for a moment was unreadable as Joshua frowned. He didn't want to say anything too harsh but he certainly wasn't smitten with the things that her father had brought up. Deciding that he would go for his usual tactics of brutal honesty with a little less brutality than normal, he shrugged. "I'm not pleased but I'll get over it. I told him nothing." His own parents didn't know the gory details of the scars. Nell was actually the only person to date that he'd told and she probably would have found out much later than she did if she hadn't actually been there to witness him in such a mess. He knew that he likely would have explained by now, though. He didn't like to keep too many secrets from her because they had a sort of a trust that he'd never established with anyone else. The frown did not diminish as she answered the question. He wished that he could just say a cheery, 'Oh, that's fine!' but knew that it would not be truthful. "Well... I can't pretend I'm too thrilled but it was your discretion, so..." He gave another light shrug and repressed the urge to sigh. Still, Joshua didn't want this to cause some sort of an argument and so he tried his best to let it drop. Snapping at Nell would only prove Leon's point that they were ill-matched and he didn't want that, either.

Though he did chuckle at her return joking the defending of her father did not bode well with Joshua. He knew that he shouldn't have felt offended that Leon was trying to protect Nell from him but frankly he was sick of that treatment from most of the guys in her life. And some of the girls, too. He hated when people got all defensive of a girl just because she was going out with someone that didn't have the best reputation. He thought that he'd done pretty good so far in his relationship with Nell--was it really so much for them to cut him some slack? No cheating, no abuse (verbal or physical), no trying to control who she hung out with, and (most importantly) no trying to get her in bed all of the time. The latter was actually a lot more difficult than people seemed to give him credit for. She was hot and they were dating and damn it if he didn't sometimes wish that he had a normal girlfriend who would have slept with him after this long in a relationship. But he loved Nell, not some other girl, so he was trying his best for her. It really did a number on his confidence when this wasn't enough for everyone else. Perhaps that was why he sounded a little bitter when he muttered, "Yeah, him and everyone else in your life. I don't get why you need protecting from me." He shook his head and scowled, looking away from her. He hated the fact that he was going on the defensive about this but couldn't help himself.

Despite his irritation toward everyone for giving him a hard time he was glad that Nell didn't care for her fathers opinion on him. It did make him stiffen internally when he noted the 'wouldn't have gone out with you in the first place bit'--seeing as that implied he was not ideal boyfriend material either way--but it was still a comfort. He wouldn't have to worry about Leon, only the trial. Suddenly Leon did seem a lot more friendly and harmless. It was like comparing her hypothetical stuffed bear to a rampaging dinosaur or something. Pushing the trial out of mind Joshua backed up toward his side of the court, tossed the ball into the air and swung. There was a part of him that wanted to take out his rage via tennis but the other part reminded him that he was playing Nell, not her father. Irate as he was he wouldn't permit himself to attack her with strong tennis moves. Getting hit in the face because of one of them wouldn't fare very well for how nicely they were getting along. She might not have cared about her father but Josh's temper... well, that would need to be managed.

[NELL DOE DALE]

Nell looked down at the hands she held in front of her stomach, as if contemplating the pads of her thumbs. She knew Josh well enough that she could sense when something was…off. She may not have been good at detecting his exact moods, but she could tell if something bugged him. And now she had a feeling that her father had done just that. Why do you do this, papa? Of course he would broach the most sensitive subjects like it was nothing. Of course Joshua didn’t say anything, but that didn’t make the situation better. Of-freaking-course. She dipped her head lower when he said that he wasn’t too happy that she’d told her father. You told your parents, she thought with some wounded stubborness. Well, she assumed he had. And Leon was her father, the only thing that made it different was the fact that she’d done it to upset her father. Okay, so maybe that was a big difference, doing it out of spite. But Nell was glad that he understood it had been her choice, even though she felt like she had done something wrong by it. And she might have, considering the fact that Leon was pushing further into her life than she would have liked. Unbeknownst to her, even if he hadn’t known before, Jane would have likely filled it in. ”He would have found out eventually,” she said in resignation, realizing this. Since he was such a big part of her life, there were things she couldn’t hide, even if she wanted to. And again, she just wished he wasn’t such an asshole. She understood how insensitive he could be, remembered him saying that Tilly not having a childhood may have been for the best—she didn’t have much to miss when she died. She knew very well that he was a nice person, but it wasn’t her fault that he was terrible to Josh, too. She just had to work on convincing herself that.

Caught off-guard by Josh’s next statement, Nell looked up and drew her eyebrows together. ”Everyone else in my life?” she echoed in confusion. She knew about people disapproving of their relationship because of his history, but they hardly mattered. To her, at least. Because as long as they didn’t try to interfere in her life, people could think what they like. Ace also got a bit protective of her, but she mostly took that for joking. A frown touched her lips as she looked away for a moment. With a bit of indignation, she said, ”I don’t think I need protection from you. I don’t think I need protection at all.” It seemed strange that anyone would think she did, actually. Her father was different, he was her father as much as she struggling to accept that, but anyone else… For one, she didn’t think she needed protection. She wasn’t some weak little girl, and she didn’t like to be viewed as such. It wasn’t like Josh had taken advantage of her in this relationship or anything, and though she didn’t know exactly what she’d been getting into when going out with Josh, she had the mental capacity to think for herself. For another, Josh was an important person in her life. Someone she needed protection from was Jane. Not Josh. ”So I guess I don’t get it either. Are people really giving you trouble?” She shook her head, and looked him in the eyes. Did this really bother him? ”It’s not like I’m glad that he’s being so overbearing, or that anyone else is being overbearing either, because apparently that’s happening. I wish he’d butt out, but…clearly, he’s not that kind of person. I have about as much control over him as he does me.” Leon wanted to be a part of Nell’s life, and she did feel like shutting him out was a dick thing to do when he was helping her with the trial. But does that make up for the time gap? She really didn’t know—her relationship with her father was one of the most confusing ones she ever had.

Whenever Josh was bothered, Nell was bothered too, so now she was shifting a bit awkwardly, trying to smile to make him feel better about her father and his asshole tendencies. After looking back down for a moment, she raised her eyes again so she could ask, ”You know what everyone else says doesn’t matter, right? I don’t care what my father does or…any of that. It was my choice to go out with you, and I’m sticking by that choice. And trust me, I’m going to keep my father as far away from my personal life as I possibly can.” Even though Nell didn’t regret for a moment going out with Josh, she wished that she could have forseen some of the things that were happening. Am I going to keep screwing up in this relationship or what? Because it probably was a bad idea to tell her father, but would he have been angrier had she held out on the information for a while? All she knew was that she didn’t know what to do with the man at the moment. She was still trying to forgive him for what he did eleven years ago and trying not to think of everything that happened in the wake of his desertion at the same time, all the while trying to form a new relationship that wasn’t as close as they had before. But it wasn’t like Leon was making it easier for her, and Josh, for that matter. So she tried to keep her two worlds separate—the one with her family and the one with her personal life that she wanted—it seemed that they had collide at some points.

She was glad that they could just play tennis, however, and didn’t have to focus on her father for too long. Nell herself was displeased with what Leon had said to Josh—she could never get angry like her boyfriend, except when she was in the man’s presence. And usually, she got over the immediate anger quickly enough, just left with the sickening feeling of acid in her stomach from the bitterness. And so, she didn’t feel the need to channel any of her feelings in tennis. She kept them safely hidden underneath an easy smile, awaiting the time she could go and verbally abuse her father for being such an asshole to her boyfriend. And to tell him the same thing she’d told him when he came back—if he wanted to be a part of her life, he would have to wait for her to come to him. Nell forced herself from her thoughts so she could volley the ball back over to Josh, and just play the game.

[JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE]

Joshua wanted to be nice and just agree with what she was saying but his personality would not allow it. He wasn't very good at suppressing his opinions for the sake of others, especially not when these opinions were because of something so irritating. He wasn't necessarily angry at Nell, he was just a little upset with the way things had played out and he couldn't just shrug that off and pretend it hadn't happened. Sighing, he nodded in reply but added, "I just would have preferred it to be in a more favourable manner." He knew that if her fathers dislike stemmed from the arrest he probably wouldn't have gained favour no matter how Nell had told Leon but it was still better to break the news gently rather than to use it as a weapon. Not that Joshua wouldn't stoop to petty levels on some occasions, but it was a whole different story when you were being used as some sort of trolling device. Nevertheless, Leon knew and there was nothing either of them could do about it. Josh just hoped that the man didn't give her too much trouble about their relationship now that the men had met and gotten off to a less than pleasant start. He knew he probably should have regretted making things worse but he was irritated enough that it didn't seem to matter to Josh right now. Leon clearly hadn't liked him and so Joshua wasn't going to feel bad about the way he'd handled things with him. He'd never been the type of person that could take subtle insults in stride and not try to return them in kind. Nell might have been but he was not so pleasant in personality.

He knew that he had exaggerated a little by suggesting that everyone had a problem with him but there were enough people annoyed by his existence in Nell's life that he felt his defensiveness was justifiable. He knew that he'd made some bad choices over the years but it seemed like no one but Nell was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. Josh didn't want to sound like a whiny toddler by complaining about all this but he couldn't help the way he felt. "I've seen the way some of your friends look at me," Joshua said. "Your approval isn't enough for them." He wished he could say with complete honesty that it was enough for him. In a way it was--he wasn't going to leave her just because people had a problem with them--but he still felt that anger and exasperation. He was sick of everyone assuming things about him just because he was a Fire elemental, because he had a temper problem, because he had a scar on his face. He knew it looked bad but if Nell trusted him why couldn't they give him a chance? "They seem to think that I'm going to hurt you. I know that they might mean well but it's rather overbearing to have people threaten me with violence before I've even done anything wrong." He understood the desire to protect your friends, he really did. But he'd never abused Nell or even threatened to. If he'd done something like that he'd understand their concerns but he hadn't.

His lips twitched slightly when she protested. "Neither do I," he said. "You can look after yourself but they clearly don't get that." He would protect her as best as he could from actual, physical violence but he wasn't going to drive her friends off just because he'd heard that one of them had hit a girl before. He might be a little more wary around that person but he didn't think that Nell would continue to hang around anyone that was giving her that sort of trouble. If he had ever hurt her he was positive the girl would have left him by now. Why didn't other people trust that? It was rather frustrating to Josh. He hesitated when she asked if people had given him any trouble, not wanting to name names or sound as if he was trying to turn Nell against any of her friends. "A few," he said vaguely. He didn't know why he was defending the people who were bothering him but then again, he didn't want fights. Pointing fingers didn't always produce the results that you were looking for. "It's not that I feel the need to prove myself to them," he said, and this was true (he'd told Ace as much), "it's that I shouldn't have to." Shaking his head, Josh said, "The only person I'm here to prove myself to is you, and if you're happy then everyone else should lay off." That was how Joshua felt, at least. Nell might have saw things differently but he was just sharing his opinion at this point.

His steely gaze softened slightly as he noticed her awkwardness, starting to feel guilty that he'd loaded all of this onto her. His stupid insecurities in this relationship probably should have stayed inside of his own head but he didn't think he could have kept quiet about the issue much longer. "It's not so much about your father," he admitted with a sigh. "That was just the icing on the cake, really. It's been eating at me for a while." He did understand in a way that her father was protective. It did make sense even if it offended him a little and put him on the defensive. If Leon had been the only person in her life that had ever given him trouble Joshua probably could have shrugged it off. But he wasn't and so Josh was stuck with his doubts of self-worth. Was his past and his actions in it so bad that people would never just give him a fair shot at anything? He was maturing as of late and trying to put such things behind him but that wasn't as easy as he'd thought. "I'm sorry I'm burdening you with all of this," he apologised. Joshua wasn't big on saying sorry but he felt like she deserved it. "And if there's anything that bugs you, well, you can talk to me about it too if you want." It wouldn't be fair to talk about all the things that were on his mind and not give her the chance to do the same. Watching the path of the ball, Joshua flicked his wrist to give a little more angle in the shot as he hit it back over the net.

[NELL DOE DALE]

Nell knew that no manner in telling her father would have been ‘favorable’. But she let it drop, even though she wanted to tell him that it wasn’t like she could have predicted how her father reacted, and that he would have been even more of a dick than usual to him. That wasn’t what she’d intended. But now she felt truly guilty about it. So instead of letting that feeling fester in her stomach—there was no use in dwelling, she couldn’t take anything back—she let Josh explain what he meant by his comment. She hated the fact that Josh was having trouble with her friends, and even worse, she hated the fact that she was powerless to do anything about it. ”I wish I could help, but…I can’t change what people think.” If there were people so against her and Joshua’s relationship, if she sat them down, would they change their minds? She had told Ari that the fact she loved him should be enough, and her best friend had understood that. Even though she wasn’t going to say this to Josh, she understood why they had suspicions. And it’s not her fault that they had those suspicions, so she bit back the need to apologize again. Still, it felt like she should have done something.

However, what Joshua said next really did not sit well with her. ”Threats of violence? Well that’s not good,” she said, brow creased in discontent. And rather ironic, as well. Clearly the person threatening would be the problem. But in any case, if people knew about her life, she’d understand how certain she was that Josh wasn’t going to hurt her. She’d come from an abusive relationship, after all, and she wasn’t about to choose to have one. Nell couldn’t have avoided what happened with her mother, but she damn well could avoid Josh if she thought he was going to hurt her. But people didn’t know this. Her smile was dry as she said, ”Well I’m offended myself. Seems that people don’t think I’m smart enough to choose the right guy.” A part of her was trying to make light of the situation, but the other part was very serious about that statement. She was reminded of Drew, and how the fact that he questioned why she chose Josh had gotten her somewhat irritated. It really was an insult to her, as well, assuming that she’d be with someone who might hurt her. More than that, though, it was an insult to Josh, assuming that he wasn’t a good boyfriend. Fathers were different—they assumed that no one was good enough for their baby girls. But friends…she didn’t think friends had that same instinct. He’s not even really my father, Nell thought stubbornly on the matter. She wouldn’t allow them to have the same relationship as they had eleven years ago, so it did bother her too that he felt he could do…fatherly sorts of things.

Since it clearly bothered Josh, she didn’t feel that she could brush it off and make him feel better about it. Saying that she didn’t care would have little effect—because Josh did care. He was the one that had to have the suspicion on him, even though there was no reason to. He was right, he’d proven himself time and time again that he was the best boyfriend he could be. Especially since they were both new at this. It wasn’t like they knew exactly what they were doing, but they were trying, and it wasn’t fair that Josh had to deal with people mudslinging. She really did wish that others could leave people to their personal lives. Both she and Josh were private people, and Nell could only imagine how Josh must have felt. ”Of course you shouldn’t,” she sighed, shaking her head for what must be the thousandth time. ”I mean, shouldn’t the fact that you supported me during that stupid war be enough?” She was just stating the obvious, but there was nothing else she could say to make it better, nothing to assuage the situation. Because no matter what, people were going to say things and do things that you couldn’t control. She just wished those things didn’t have to be about Josh and how good he was for her. How do you measure that, anyway, like a freaking test? Josh was right—she should be the judge of how good a guy he is for her, and her verdict was apparent enough.

Nell blinked at her boyfriend and let out an airy, ”Oh.” She knew what people said—well, some of it anyway—but she didn’t realize that it actually bothered him. It would bother anyone, though. It certainly would bother her, and she wondered why she hasn’t been getting any slack. She didn’t feel like the best girlfriend or the best person and yet she really hadn’t anyone come out and warn her against breaking Josh’s heart. She had to wonder why. There was also the little fact that she was a murderer, and she almost wanted to tell people this so they’d lay off Josh. He apologized for unloading this on her and she smiled, letting out a light laugh. ”I want to know these things,” she said. ”You know, if something’s on your mind. I just wish there was more I could do for you.” Nell really did want to make it better for him. After all, she wanted him to be happy. ”You’ll be glad to know that nothing bothers me at all.” Even though she said in a joking manner, it was true enough. There was no one on her end trying to be overbearing, save for her father, and he was handled easily enough. Things didn’t bother her in general—she wasn’t an easily perturbed person. She backhanded the ball over the net, and at least she could take a little pride in the fact that she had gotten better. Of course, practicing could help anyone get better at a sport.

[JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE]

Joshua shook his head in protest. He knew that Nell couldn't help the opinions of her friends or her father and he truly hoped that she wasn't blaming herself, or worse, that she thought he was trying to lay blame on her. He wasn't pointing fingers he was just trying to get off his chest something that had honestly bothered him since the beginning of their relationship. "It's not your fault," he told her. "I don't expect you to change things, I just... I needed to get it out, I suppose." Josh was a very private person who kept most of his problems and concerns to himself. It was like fodder for his anger issues a lot of the time. Since he didn't make a habit of sharing his feelings with the people who mattered to him he just blew up at others instead. It wasn't a good way to live but it was really just the way he was used to living. He had never had a friend like Nell before. He considered Harlow, Asha, Harley, Jake, all of them to be his friends, but no one had ever been there for him like Nell had. Maybe that's just a relationship thing? Perhaps a more open person wouldn't mind whining about their problems to all of their social circle but he'd never been that sort of person.

He dipped his head briefly in agreement but still didn't point any fingers. "No one's attacked me yet, don't worry," he said with a wry smile that might have been an attempt at humour. It was not funny to him however and so the gesture was lost and the smile did not stay in place for very long. Joshua could stick up for himself and if all else failed he always had the switchblade on his person but that was not the point. He didn't want Nell's friends to butt heads with him, he didn't want them to mutter about him behind his back or discriminate against his personality. He just wanted them to accept that Nell was dating him and that he was a part of her life as much as they were. "I was your friend, too. I am your friend." He could have understood better if they'd met in some seedy bar and if he was frequently caught staring at other girls or trying to get their numbers. There had been the incident with Brittney but he'd turned her down and that had been more of a one-time thing when he was new to dating. He was better now and no one had witnessed that but Nell anyway. He hadn't been that sleazy bar jerk. He'd been an honest friend of hers that had just found an interest in becoming a little more than friends down the line.

She did manage to make him chuckle slightly with her own brand of humour, closing the gap between them and pressing his lips to hers for a brief moment. "Well," he said quietly, "call me biased but I think you're smart enough." Of course he was biased; it was his reputation they were talking about. Still, he appreciated that Nell didn't seem to understand their concerns. Her indignation was flattering because it meant she saw the best in him just like he always hoped that she did. He knew that she was probably in love with him (at least he hoped) and so her views were a little nicer than that of her friends but they were still a little quick to jump the gun. Just because he didn't get them kittens when they were sad or support them through murder trials didn't mean he was a bad guy. He managed a smile as she backed up his words, glad that at least Nell was on the same page as he was. He could handle all of their stupid grudges and misplaced judgement as long as she was okay with him. He had just been having a rough time with her father and his insecurities had gotten the better of him. "And I'll support you through everything else, too," he promised. "Not because of them--because I care about you." By 'everything else' he was mainly indicating the trial but he didn't want to drag the conversation down too far. He was already being Dan the Downer about this as it was.

He appreciated Nell's concerns and hugged her in a silent show of this. He wasn't very good with thanking people and so he hoped that the gesture would suffice enough to say that he wasn't ungrateful and moping because of her. "The fact that you make your own opinions is enough," Joshua assured her. He loved that Nell didn't listen to what everyone else said and then turn against him because of their words. If she were to judge him based on the opinions of her friends and family he'd be a very single man right now. Sighing, Joshua ran a hand through his dark hair and then laughed softly. "Well, that's good." He wondered if she was just covering up or whether there really was nothing going on that he had to worry about. Hopefully it was the latter because that would mean he was doing something right. Tennis was a lot more fun to play once Nell started getting the hang of it. He might have had years of experience and skill over her but at least she could hold her own now. Unless he started being an asshole and trying his damndest to kick her ass with fancy moves and vicious spikes but he wasn't that type of person. He played this for fun, not for bragging rights.

[NELL DOE DALE]

Nodding, Nell accepted his words. ”I guess it’s a good thing. I didn’t know it bothered you before,” she said honestly, because she wasn’t the one getting the heat of it. She did have the friends that warned her away from him, and she knew they had good intentions. But it just wasn’t fair to Josh to be under the careful watch of protective friends. She didn’t even think it was something that was on Josh’s mind, that he was aware of, really. Even though he was truthful when he said that he didn’t expect her to change anything, she felt the desire to and the helplessness of that desire. She wanted control over her own life, she wanted stability, but it was near impossible when involving other people into the factor. Nell loved everyone in her life, and maybe that’s why she didn’t want them to get deep into her personal life. Not only because it was trouble for Josh, but it was trouble for her too. They might find out things about her that they didn’t like, and she was not only thinking of the fact she’d killed her mother. She felt as if there were a lot of things wrong with her. But one of those things was not her relationship with Josh.

She might have laughed if she wasn’t so concerned about the fact that there had even been threats. That wasn’t something easily laughed off. She didn’t like violence, especially against her boyfriend. She wanted to keep that as far away from her as possible. So why did people feel as if that would be a good way to protect her. Josh had never laid a hand on her, so even threats were going too far for someone who was completely innocent of anything. She did smile when he said that he was her friend. ”Pity my other friends don’t realize that.” She trusted him, and Josh was right—that should be enough for other people. But it seemed like her friends believed they knew better than she did herself. Nell understood those kind of well-wishers, but it wasn’t like she was some giddy schoolgirl who was head-over-heels who needed to be steered away. She wasn’t blind, and she wasn’t ignorant. She did love Josh, but that didn’t mean that she couldn’t make the right decisions and think things through like a logical human being. Even though she should have thought about going out with him a bit now with the trial looming dangerously close, she didn’t regret the decision. Now if she had been drunk and decided to date Josh, than her friends could worry. But it wasn’t like that.

Smiling into the kiss, Nell was glad that he didn’t appear to be completely affected by the drama others were creating. ”Thanks,” she said dryly. Okay, he was right in that he was being biased, but that didn’t much matter when it was the truth. She believed she picked the right guy, but apparently everyone else was wise enough to see that Josh was really just a total scumbag. A total scumbag whose stuck with her even hearing about what she’d done to her mother and strange phone-disposing requests and other behavior. He wasn’t perfect, and she wasn’t perfect, nobody was—but he was good to her. And that’s really all that matters. And her feelings were only confirmed when he promised his support, and really, who could think badly of a guy like him? One who was willing to stay with her even when she was going on trial for killing her mother. There were no words to express just how much she felt about what he said, whath is words meant, at least not that she could find.

And he apparently felt the same way about what she said, pulling her into a hug that made her smile and reasured her that just because others may not have approved of him, didn’t mean he was any less of a good boyfriend. ”I’m glad,” she told him. He was right, she did have her own opinions. She didn’t like anyone having power over her life that she didn’t allow them—power like her mother once had. It was because of that woman that she was so adamant against others making decisions for her and trying to steer her life in the direction and destination they chose. Like her father sometimes attempted to do. Josh appeared reassured by the fact that she had nothing to get off her chest, and she had been honest about that. Nell wasn’t one to burden anyone with her concerns and what went on her mind, but if it was something that affected her relationship with Josh, she’d definitely tell him. In general, she liked to be an honest person. She may withold information, but when she was forced to tell something, she said it straight as can be. Even in tennis, she was honest, and she felt the need to tell Josh what she thought. ”Your game must be off, I think I can win,” she teased, lobying the ball back.