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Post by DEVIN JAMES THATCHER on Aug 4, 2012 18:26:35 GMT -5
it's like I never lived - - - - - before my life with you Forever really was a long time, wasn't it? Now that he thought about it, a lot could happen between now and the end of his lifetime. You grow old, hobbies change, people change, friendships changed...nothing seemed very permanent. It was one of the reasons he never thought much on his major for college before graduating from high school. Josh seemed to encourage him making a decision about his major but Devin struggled to come up with something more...final. It was how he treated a lot of things. With friends, however, he liked to think that they would be around for a very long time. They were constant presences, a presence he preferred over anything else. "It would never bother me." Devin said with a soft smile. "I think having you and everyone else around me is the most important thing." Because what was life without friends? He would think it meaningless. Always good to have people to lean on and love on, right?
"Well..." Devin rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't really know what good it would do to tell you if I was unhappy. That usually makes other people unhappy." And he did not like doing that, dragging other people down. Naturally upbeat, he was able to try and cope with his problems internally instead of pushing them on other people and expecting them to carry the burden too. Sandra did not need that, and neither did any of his other friends. Only Josh and Nell knew of what really happened with his family, with Lauren and the abuse. Joshua was around for a good portion of it, even smacked Lauren himself when she took a hand to Devin's face. Nell found out when they spent the night in a jail cell for setting off a smoke bomb in an abandoned convenience store. I should tell Sandy one day. She deserved that much. It was the past after all. There was no need to get sad and down about something that no longer existed in his life. Not to mention Sandra had been a good and close friend for a long time. He felt comfortable discussing it with her. Devin smiled softly at her when she said she was always happy, then felt his cheeks grow warm at her next comment. "Right back at you." He replied, the smile now a bit of a playful smirk. It was true; he was always happy around Sandra. Like a ray of sunshine.
It was nice to know that Sandra thought so highly of him but he was not sure if it was warranted. Was he really that good of a person? He had done so many negative things in his life, things that he did not really deem to be negative until recently. Even through all of the ugliness Sandra managed to see something that he couldn't. How amazing. Devin tended to be the same way but he did not expect others to do the same for him. His smile was still present, but faded. "Whatever you say." His voice was confused but soft and did not seem intent on questioning her further. "Yeah, agree to disagree. Because I have a feeling we'll be going back and forth for hours." And he would too if it proved a point.
He chuckled and closed his eyes as she kissed him, enjoying her closeness. It had been a long while since he had wanted someone as more than just a one-night stand. Not since Autumn. Thought I wouldn't find anyone else, either. But he did and she said yes and that was all that mattered. Devin nodded in agreement; they were certainly the best kind of yesses. This afternoon would have gone quite a bit differently had Sandra said no. It would have been understood and warranted of course but it would have hurt all the same. The smile on his face faded a bit more, almost a frown now present on his lips as he listened. Then, it returned, though slowly before Devin managed to respond. "That's one of the reasons I was drawn to you," He explained, holding her hand a little tighter. His finger ran across her cheek. "Not to mention just you being you. Comfortable with yourself, always know how to make me laugh or smile. You never treated me differently because of how I lived. You're simply an all around accepting and loving person who is absolutely amazing in every way." If he were forced to come up with a list of things that made Sandra such a wonderful person to be around he would have to sit there for quite a while. Too long of a list. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, exhaling slowly. "I'm happy I'm here too." After a moment he pulled away and glanced around the kitchen, sighing in contentment before finding her face again. He was smiling. "So let's do something. I dunno what but...anything really. I'm open for whatever!" So indecisive. Could they actually manage to do anything without a decision being made? Uhh...who knew?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - { so much was missing here } I NEVER EVEN KNEW
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Post by SANDRA HARU CHANG on Aug 4, 2012 20:11:31 GMT -5
"Well," she started, then paused for a second, frowning at him. "I can't make it better if I don't know what's wrong," she finished stubbornly. Maybe this was a bad thing, though. She just wanted to make things better for people. Sandra loved her friends. They deserved the best in the world -- and there were so many things she couldn't control, but she could at least try when it was at all within her power. She'd never know if it was or not unless she found out the problem. "And I'd just... want to know. I don't like when you're not happy. But I really don't like not knowing." Well... she couldn't recall actual specific instances when she'd seen him unhappy, considering how upbeat he always was, but this just meant that she didn't like the idea. Their conversation just a few minutes ago when he'd arrived in the first place would prove this, too. She wasn't sure she'd even be able to handle it should she ever see him upset again, but Sandra was just... panicky. She tended to get frantic when there were problems at hand. That probably wouldn't encourage him to actually ever tell her if he was unhappy, though, now that she thought about it. Still, she'd want to know. She just hoped that he trusted her.
On something like this, she was pretty sure that she could have (and would have) argued with him until the end of the earth or something, and so she was glad when he relented. Every part of Devin was beautiful, whatever he said contrary. Your self esteem... She studied him for a long moment before smiling, looking away. "I'd never be able to convince you anyway." Even so, she couldn't deny that it made her all kinds of stupid levels of happy that he thought she was that special. She grinned dorkily at him. Sandra was always happy in the sense that she was just content with life and everything was okay, but this was... something awesome. She didn't even know how to explain anything she was feeling anymore -- the girl had never claimed to be particularly articulate.
She studied his frown, a little afraid that she'd said the wrong thing by bringing up other girls, maybe, but then his smile came back and so hers did too. That was good. It wouldn't have done for them to actually get upset now of all times. There'd been enough... enough feelings earlier in the day. There was a lump in her throat, but maybe a good one this time and not the kind that would suggest she was trying not to cry or something, when he spoke. Sandra held his gaze as evenly as she could, holding her breath for some reason that she didn't actually even know. She was beaming when he finished. "I just..." She couldn't think of words to fill in the rest of the sentence and instead she pulled him into an awkward hug -- in the sense of their positioning rather than either of them actually making it awkward... for once. The awkwardness was gone, she realized, even though the butterflies had apparently settled into her stomach permanently. She didn't even mind them being there anymore, she decided as she snuggled into his shoulder. "You smell nice," she mumbled, giggling, detecting cologne. He must have been wearing it from the start, but she'd never noticed -- having been distracted -- and now... all of a sudden she just wanted to take in everything about him and these past few minutes.
Not really wanting to pull away, Sandra lingered for a second, closing her eyes when he kissed her forehead. "You don't even know how perfect you are." Nobody was perfect, but Devin was by far the closest. When he withdrew she did too, giggling a little bit as she watched him looking all around the room. Sandra just rested her eyes on him instead of following his lead, though. The kitchen was nice, but she saw it all the time, considering she lived there and all. She did not, unfortunately, get to see Devin quite as often. Her thoughts kind of strayed away -- Sandra was pretty much always living in her own world, but this was an exceptionally daydream-y kind of day, all things considered -- and when he spoke she blinked a few times to refocus. "Oh! Yeah, let's, uh..." For the first time since Devin had gotten here she suddenly thought of her brother. Crap. She really had broken his one and only rule. Devin really shouldn't even be in the apartment at all. Well... it was too late now, but she'd leave with him. "Let's go out," she said after a second, lacing their fingers together and getting up, inviting him to follow her. "We can go out for dinner or something! Or go on a walk. Or go to the lake." She liked food... and walks... and the lake. "Or whatever you want!" Sandra just giggled. It didn't even really matter what they did at all. Devin's company was way, way more important.
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Post by DEVIN JAMES THATCHER on Aug 6, 2012 15:15:46 GMT -5
it's like I never lived - - - - - before my life with you He hated burdening people. It was probably one of the things he hated doing the most. To share his problems and his issues with other people was just an unnecessary weight that they didn't have to carry. Oddly enough Devin liked for people to come to him and trust him with their problems. It should be a give and take sort of ordeal but he struggled giving in this aspect. Devin sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You make things better without me having to say anything," He amended, smiling at her a little bit. That was incredibly true and he meant it. It was why he kept friends like her around; people that always uplifted his spirits without even trying. After a moment, however, the smile was replaced with a frown and he looked at his lap with a deep but thoughtful look on his face. "But, I promise to tell you when something is bothering me," He glanced up at her through his eyelashes, bright blue eyes searching her face. "Because I'm not a fan of not knowing things either. I want us to have open communication, you know?" And he would try his best for her. It would take some getting used to but Sandra was special to him. Josh meant the world--he was his best friend since childhood--but he supposed that everyone had that one particular person they told things to outside of that one specific best friendship. Did Josh do that with Nell? He wondered.
"Maybe one day," He replied, not sounding extremely hopeful but not disbelieving either. Believing something like that was a hard pill to swallow because it was so different from what he was used to. For someone like Sandra--a beautiful person whom he greatly admired--to tell him that he was something he felt he wasn't...like, telling him was pure and without fault. And that was far from the truth. His voice grew quiet when he added, "Though you are the only person I would believe, if I do wind up believing it." He wanted Sandra to know that her thoughts on him were not falling on deaf ears.
Devin watched her for a long moment, waiting to see how she would respond to him. Everything he had said was true--he would not lie about something like that. Not ever, and not to Sandra. Why would he? There was no need to. He just hoped that she would accept his words and not argue with them, because honestly there was not much more he could say. Actions seemed to be replaced with words when she pulled him in for a hug, Devin's automatic response was to wrap his arms around her and bury his face into her neck. A smile was on his lips though she could not see it. His stomach did a small flip when Sandra nestled against his shoulder, her words making him chuckle. "Well, thanks. You smell nice too." Shampoo maybe? Or perhaps it was just how she smelled naturally. Either way it was enjoyable and he lingered on her neck for a short time before pulling away and planting the kiss on her forehead. It felt good to display affection towards her now; the awkwardness that he felt before was ebbing away and he was growing comfortable again. The comfort was different though. A good different, but still a change none the less. His affection towards her held two different meanings now: that of a friend and that of someone who cared for her beyond friendship. The cool thing was, he could be both of those things. For what was a relationship without being friends? That made the bond stronger he thought.
Once again, Sandra's words left him a bit speechless. He opened his mouth to argue with her but instead his lips turned upwards into an open smile and he laughed, shaking his head. "No I don't because no one's ever said that before," Devin admitted sheepishly, avoiding rubbing the back of his neck this time. Instead of countering her argument and creating yet another dead end back and forth, he said, poking her nose, "And I'm hoping you realize you're perfect. And if not then I guess I'll have to help you see it." Everyone had flaws, imperfections, and short-comings. They lied and thought badly of other people on more than one occasion, but accepting the flaws and loving the other person despite them was what he deemed important. Did Devin love Sandra? Of course he did. He loved all of his friends and those he held close to him. Was it a love that Josh and Nell shared? He was not sure yet. That was something he wanted to find out. She laced their fingers together, and Devin was not going to argue with keeping physical contact with her at all. Instead he smiled and stood up next to her. He rolled his head back and sighed with an amused chuckle. "All three of those sound fine, but which one are we going to do?" He was completely unaware that her brother did not approve of her having boys in the house; if he were he would not have stepped foot inside. Devin motioned to the front door. "Are you ready to go out? Like..got everything? I don't want to leave and then you have forgotten something."
Girls had purses and stuff, not to mention cell phone or whatever else it was that they wanted to drag along with them. Once he was sure she had everything, Devin opened the front door and was met with a warm breeze and a pretty sunset. A sigh passed through his nostrils; it was relaxed and content. Then, an idea hit him and he turned to look at his girlfriend. Boy, that was a word he did not think he would be using for a long time. "Why don't we go for a walk, and we can stop and grab food while we're out? I'm paying so don't worry about it. And then we can...go sit by the lake and chill out." Sandra probably had no idea how good it felt to take on the boyfriend role. To do things for her and buy things for her and just...be there. "We will have officially covered all three things! Then there won't need to be an official decision." That was definitely the lazy way out, but hey...Devin never claimed to be anything else.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - { so much was missing here } I NEVER EVEN KNEW
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Post by SANDRA HARU CHANG on Aug 6, 2012 23:39:24 GMT -5
All Sandra ever did was be herself, but it was... nice to think that this could somehow actually help. It made her wonder how many times he might have been upset in the past without her realizing it, though, and she couldn't tell whether that was good or bad -- bad for her observance, but good for... the fact that she'd managed to make him feel better, or at least she hoped. "If you say so." She was smiling. She'd just have to take his word for that, like with everything else -- she did trust him. "But... good," she approved after his next words, a little disappointed when he looked down and away from her, but the smile returned when he looked back up. "Yeah... I know. And, and -- you could tell me anything, you know." She wasn't very good with words, but she sighed -- contentedly, that was -- after a second and then just settled for the usual smile. "Anything. And anytime. And just... yeah. Open communication is good." She'd never expressly gone to Devin with her problems before, she didn't think, but Sandra was willing to start if he was -- if he really wouldn't be bothered, and she trusted that he wouldn't. Then again, Sandra didn't have much to share in that respect, but it felt pretty awesome to have the assurance all the same.
Though a part of her was tempted to, she decided that she wouldn't argue with him anymore. That was assuming that she could say anything in the first place, and she was finding this increasingly difficult. "Doesn't matter who you believe as long as it's the truth," she told him finally, nodding. She wasn't even sure that made sense anymore, but then she smiled. "We'll just wait and see. Okay?" Sandra just wanted to make him see, but this probably wans't something she was going to be able to convince him of inn five minutes or anything of the sort, and he iddn't expect any kind of immediate progress. God, that made it sound so weird and technical though.
She laughed a little, her face still against his shoulder. "Do I?" she asked, amused. Sandra wasn't actually wearing any scents, not that she knew of... and it would be relaly weird if she'd put anything on without realizing it. Then again, considering her hair was probably all up on his face, it could be her shampoo. It didn't really matter too much -- she just liked the closeness without having to go through all the awkwardness at the same time, which was pretty much how it had been between them for these past few weeks. This was... better, even, than anything before that day in his apartment. It had taken them a while, she realized, but if it was leading up to now, then she was just glad for all of it -- and of course she was also glad that he wasn't arguing back with her again. "Well... then now you know!" She giggled when he returned the compliment, deciding to just take it as it came. Sandra was far from perfect, but... she was happy with herself, and if she was going to tell Devin these things then it'd be hypocritical of her not to take it in return. She didn't say things just to hear them back, though, not at all. "Don't worry. I think we have lots of time." It might have been a bit early to judge on the longevity of this... relationship, but even just as friends, Sandra didn't think she'd be able to handle it if they just drifted apart and became strangers again.
Sandra grinned. "Well... we can figure that out!" Then she paused for a second, thinking, as they left the kitchen for the front door. "Just give me a sec." She turned off the DVD player finally -- oh shoot, had she really left that on the whole time? -- and dropped Roosevelt off back in her room, then grabbed her phone from where she'd left it in the living room. It took her a few seconds to think of what to say but she settled on texting Matthew to tell him that she'd be out for dinner and he should call her when he got home if she wasn't back yet (which she figured would be enough to appease her brother for the time being, until she talked to him properly later) -- before she slipped her phone into her purse and came back to find Devin where she'd left him. Sandra huffed a little as if out of breath, even though she wasn't, having barely done anything, and then grinned. "Let's go!" Downstairs and outside of the building, she smiled, inhaling and exhaling deeply. God, the sunset was beautiful. "You don't have to pay, you know. But sure. We can do whatever your heart desires," she sing-songed, taking his hand again. "And I guess we don't have a great record of decision-making." They were both just way, way too willing to let the other decide on things, but that... was maybe okay. She just tugged him along in a random direction, the smile stuck on her face pretty permanently.
(yay, end of the thread and all that. <3)
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