-- IT'S THE COLOURS YOU HAVE && [nell]

[JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE]

it's the colours you have ,

NO NEED TO BE SAD

- - - - - - - - - - -it really ain't that bad

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

He hadn't thought much of it when he'd been called down to the office. He had kept his record clean in terms of detention for the past few weeks and had avoided starting any serious fights, so he was quite sure that he wouldn't be in any trouble. That is, until he caught sight of the scowl on the headmaster's lips when he entered the room. "Sit down, Mr. Dale," he said, and Joshua's throat felt a little dry as he did so. The man stared at him for a long moment, held his gaze, and then said slowly and deliberately, "What brings you to believe that I have a thing for blondes?" The Fire graduate did not quite know what to say to this, blinking in confusion. It took him several seconds to form a reply, mostly because he couldn't piece together where the older man had ever gotten this idea. "I-I'm sorry, I don't quite follow." He knew nothing about the man except for the fact that he was in charge of the school. He didn't form assumptions on people concerning their preferences and even if he did, he did not think he'd ever voiced them aloud. The headmaster frowned at him as if disappointed, like he'd been expecting a more forward answer, and then turned his computer monitor so that Joshua could glimpse what was on the screen. Now, Joshua was not modest by any means, but that did not make the imagery any less awkward in the situation. He stared for a moment and then looked away. "I, uh, I don't really get what that has to do with me." It grew more uncomfortable by the second. "There's no use in lying to me, Mr. Dale. Was it because I threatened to have you expelled the next time you put someone in the medical wing? Is that it?" Then it clicked. Oh. Oh. "Wait, you—you think that I—no, no, I didn't send that to you. No way." Joshua didn't even have things like that on his computer. Even if he did, he told himself, he would never be so stupid as to send it to other people.

The back-and-forth continued for several minutes. Joshua had no explanation for the reason that his computer had somehow sent adult imagery that he did not have via e-mail to his headmaster. And apparently a few professors, too, judging by what he was getting from the headmaster of the school. "You understand that we're looking at expulsion, here?" He'd been dreading the words and he cringed instinctively. He didn't want to be expelled. He was so close to finishing college, to getting into medical school. Not only that, how would he explain being kicked out of the Academy to his friends? His family? To Nell? Oh, god, Nell. He was happy with her, he was, and she was the reason he didn't feel the need to download videos and images of other girls, because their relationship was going fine. He knew he hadn't sent the videos but who was going to believe him when all the proof was there? "I told you, sir, I swear, I didn't send that. I—I don't know who did, but..." The words sounded weak as they left his lips. He didn't have any excuses, didn't have any proof. Backed into a corner with no way out. "Are you suggesting that someone else happened to know the passwords to your personal documents?" Josh blinked. No, I always thought I was... safe, my computer was protected, I... He knew how complicated his password was. He hadn't told it to anyone. He always kept the computer closed and it automatically locked itself when it was shut. He practically buried his head in his hands as he leaned forward. "I don't know what to tell you. You can't expel me, I didn't do anything wrong..." He trailed off and shook his head, miserable. Could this day get any fucking better?

After around an hour of interrogation, the headmaster finally dismissed him with the promise that Joshua would bring the laptop into the office first thing in the morning to try and prove that he didn't have anything incriminating on it. He did not have any classes remaining for the day and Joshua would normally have stayed behind in the library for another hour or two but he felt dejected and just wanted to get home. Annabel bounced up to the door with her normal good cheer when he opened it but even though he smiled and greeted her with an attempt at nonchalance, she knew him too well. "What's wrong, Joshy? Where's Nell?" Nell. Her name almost made him cringe, feeling guilty even though he knew he had nothing to hide. "She's still at school, I think. I'm alright, I'm just tired." She replied by putting her arms around him and he couldn't speak for a moment, touched by the gesture. She didn't know what was going on and yet she was still trying her best to be there for him. "Wanna talk about it?" He twitched his lips at her when he pulled away and shook his head. "Nah, it's fine." This wasn't something he could tell his little sister anyway. She nodded and then went back up to her room, presumably to play video games or talk on the phone to her friends. Maybe both. He grabbed a shower and then went down to the living room, sitting on the couch and sighing. Maybe I just won't tell her. I'll—I'll sort this one out myself. It almost felt like dishonesty but what else was he going to do? He assumed that she had the laptop seeing as she would have been the last one with it. He did not even feel slightly suspicious of her, that was hope deep his trust went. Tomorrow's going to be one hell of a day, he thought. He wasn't looking forward to it in the least.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

[NELL DOE DALE]

so i know nothing of your taste

AND NOW SPEAK UP LOVER

IT'S IN YOUR LIPS, I FOUND

c'mon just press against me, i finally have your attention.

Nell's thoughts were on revenge for the rest of the day as she went to the rest of her classes, not participating as much as she usually would have as she doodled in the margins of her notes. Half of it was so she didn't have to think about the...things Josh had on his laptop that was now wedged in between the books in her messenger bag, the weight an unfortunate reminder. It doesn't matter, she thought, biting her lip as she started drawing tornadoes, letting her mind wander. He can look at what he wants. That was true. She didn't ever try to control what he did or stick her nose into his business. Should she have? Should she wonder more? She didn't want to be suspicious, she had no reason to. Doesn't mean anything. She started creating polka dots on the top of her paper, forgetting that she was even in class. He wasn't doing anything with those girls, right? No, so it wasn't like she needed to be worrying about infidelity. And she wasn't worrying about that. She'd given him enough shit about it with their one argument, and she understood that any doubt was of herself, not him.

Her attention turned to her hair, and she tugged at a strand, noticing the split ends. She'd never dyed her hair before, didn't have a reason to, really. She may have been impulsive, but it had never extended to her hair. Hm. She dropped it and refocused on the lecture, hoping to at least lose herself in the professor's words for a little while until she could head home. She was almost nervous when she walked into the house, because she didn't really know how to deal with the information at hand. Now that Rowena wasn't here and she couldn't spit venom at her, she was left to sort out what she was going to even do about that...horrid girl, and left to think about what she was doing wrong that may have made Josh need something else. Her face almost heated up with the thought as she kicked her shoes off by the door, a habit she still had whenever a guest at someone else's home. She didn't trust her sneakers in the mansion, she wanted to keep it as clean as possible, like a museum. "Lucy, I'm home," she called out in her best Desi Arnez.

She found Josh in the living room and set down the books she was holding to make room for the laptop on the table. Speaking of which, she took it out of her messenger bag and set it on the table too, before taking a seat next to him. "You wouldn't believe who I saw using your laptop today," she said in a voice that sounded as if she were about to talk about an old friend of theirs that she just happened to come across. "Rowena Bennett. Altair's sister. Nice girl, really." She rolled her eyes. The thought of the girl actually grated on her nerves, quite the accomplishment really. "Had a little revenge plan cooked up for you because you beat up Altair." And unfortunately, it had worked, and she could have done nothing to stop it. Nervous now, she asked, "What did the headmaster have to say?" Even more nervous just thinking about it, she had to look away, steering her eyes in any other direction but his. Her bangs fell a bit into her vision, then, and she contemplated it once again. "Not that it'd be hard to find someone prettier than you, I mean, you're not even blonde, but..." Did hair color really matter that much?

[/justify]

[JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE]

it's the colours you have ,

NO NEED TO BE SAD

- - - - - - - - - - -it really ain't that bad

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

He felt a lump in his throat when he heard the car pull into the driveway, heard the door open. Knowing that he was going to lie to his fiancée about all of this did not help his guilt. He did not like lying to Nell. There shouldn't be secrets between us. He trusted her with anything, everything, his life if he had to. She'd already saved it once before. Literally. This was different, though. What would Nell think of him if she knew that such things had been found on his computer, sent to the headmaster? He knew that he had done nothing but the man who had recieved the incriminating videos did not believe him and so who was to say that Nell would? It was only the fact that he'd been unable to produce the laptop immediately when the man had demanded it that had saved Josh, given him a few extra hours. What did that matter? He didn't want extra hours, he wanted this to be over and done with. Either that or he wanted to wait forever for the verdict. He didn't want to be expelled. The thought of the word made his chest tighten and his throat constrict. My whole life, my whole future... what am I going to do? His career hinged on graduating from the Academy, depended heavily on it. He needed his perfect GPA and his good credentials. Getting kicked out of school for sending pornographic imagery to your headmaster did not look good on an application for medical school. Or another college, for that matter, and he'd need to start looking for a place to attend if he was expelled from the Academy. The more he thought about it, the worse that it got.

So when Nell walked in, called out in her normal strange ways, he hardly felt any better about the situation. He was going to have to pretend that he was cheerful and that it had been an entirely normal day, that the headmaster had only wanted him to chat about something else entirely. Nothing important, water under the bridge. Then he'd ask how the rest of her day had been and play it off. She came in and sat the offending computer down on the table, taking her place beside him. Though he felt the guilt, it did not stop Joshua from shifting closer to her and revelling in the company as usual. If anything, he needed her presence now more than ever. He was having a crisis in his mind. Her words did not help, his heart sinking. So it was the Bennett bitch's sister. Fucking perfect. He had thought he was done with Altair and Rowena when he'd kicked the former's ass a while ago. She'd attacked Nell for no reason and Josh had dealt with it. Apparently not. "So, uh, you found out about that, huh?" He ducked his head, rubbed the back of his neck. He wasn't modest or bashful, didn't blush, but Joshua looked awkward all the same. He'd been planning to lie to her but he could not decide if this alternative was better or worse. "He... oh, jeez." Josh broke off for a moment, not expecting his voice to crack slightly. He was strong, unbreakable. Everything was fine. He took a breath. "He threatened to expel me." It wasn't so much as a threat as it was a promise. If Joshua could not come up with something, he would be kicked out. "At least now I know who did send it, but... I don't know how the hell I'm going to prove anything." He exhaled and ran a hand through his hair. This sucked.

Almost subconsciously he took Nell's hand, needing the contact for some sort of comfort. One thought kept running through his head: What am I going to do? He glanced at his laptop as if it had somehow betrayed him. This was why he never left things lying around, didn't abandon his things. They'd only meant to leave for five minutes, though, that was all. He hadn't thought much of it. The library was not a heavily occupied place and other people were usually focused on studying. Rowena Bennett clearly wasn't one of those people. "What did she say?" It usually sucked to get caught doing something wrong. To get caught messing around with the belongings of someone's partner was even worse. Josh knew he'd have flipped out if someone had messed around with Nell's laptop but they handled their upset differently. Joshua got violent, she did not. "I don't know what I'm going to do. He doesn't believe me. I didn't send it—well, you know I didn't, I was with you." It clicked then—Nell! She'd stick up for him, right? "Would you help me out? Say we were together?" The headmaster might pronounce it as biased considering their relationship and ignore her claims but maybe there had been other people, too. It didn't seem likely they could force anything out of the Thunder girl at this point. God damn it, he hated those sisters. More than ever, now.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

[NELL DOE DALE]

so i know nothing of your taste

AND NOW SPEAK UP LOVER

IT'S IN YOUR LIPS, I FOUND

c'mon just press against me, i finally have your attention.

Nell was doing a very good job at not blushing. She couldn't stop thinking about Rowena's words, hated how the girl had actually gotten under her skin. She didn't even know about Nell, and yet her comments about innocence and the fact that she may not be keeping Josh happy were like knives in her skin. "Yeah," she said, lifting her eyebrows before turning away, concerned by his sheepish demeanor. You shouldn't be so bothered by it! And she really wasn't with the concept, she wasn't a complete prude. It was the fact that her experience was zero, and that it was so easy for her to be doing something wrong without her knowing. Because Josh wouldn't tell her, would he? He didn't complain or anything like that, so maybe he just had another way of dealing with the problem instead of confronting her about it. She couldn't blame him, she wasn't the talking type of person either. Then again, she had no problems whatsoever with Josh. It made her stomach sink even further.

And it sunk that much further when he paused and seemed to have to collect himself. She had told Rowena that the worse that would happen would be a detention, but clearly she had been lying through her teeth so Rowena wouldn't know that she had really accomplished anything. "Expel?" she repeated softly, not really registering the word in full and all its connotations. He could be kicked out of school for this. She felt a bit of anger prick at her when she said, "That's hardly fair, they're just pictures and stuff. Not even illegal." It was just...indecent. It frustrated her to know that the Thunder...girl had actually gotten what she wanted. And if Josh did get expelled... "He hasn't made the decision yet?" she inquired. Proof. Really, there was no proof. It wasn't like she had actually hacked into the laptop, she didn't need to, so there was no way to trace anything back to her. Unless they went hard and got a finger print sweep from a lab, but that was just ludicrous and it still wouldn't prove anything.

She tangled her fingers with his, now contemplating solutions to this very big, huge problem before them. It wasn't even a matter of what he had on there anymore, it was the fact that he might be kicked out of the Academy. She clenched her jaw at the question, very good at keeping her Spanish impulses under control. Oh, a lot of things. "Just that you know...you'd regret you ever messed with Rowena Bennett! But you know, she didn't actually speak in the third person. And she uh...she doesn't like you much, she made that pretty clear." She wasn't going to repeat the things that the girl said, no, because so much as thinking about them upset Nell. It doesn't really matter that much, hair color. But clearly, it did. Rowena had sunken her teeth in her good and nice. "Yeah, I'll help you out. Did anyone see you when I left, though? Maybe there are some eye witnesses?" If Josh wasn't around the computer when the emails were sent, and someone came forth with that information and she told the headmaster about Rowena, then maybe there would be enough evidence to get Josh out of it.

[/justify]

[JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE]

it's the colours you have ,

NO NEED TO BE SAD

- - - - - - - - - - -it really ain't that bad

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Joshua did not realise what Nell had inferred from the incident, did not realise that she was currently fretting about a secret stash of porn that he'd hidden away on his computer. About the things that he looked at when she wasn't around. If he had, there would have been frantic protests and insistences. He didn't need other girls when he had her, Nell was special, they had a connection that he'd never experienced with anyone else. He remained oblivious, though, and so Josh was worried when she looked away. Have I done something wrong by you, Nell? It wasn't like she knew he'd planned on lying to her when she'd gotten home. She'd came in and started right in on the good stuff, which was really the truly horrible stuff. He swallowed, the guilt gnawing holes in his stomach. He was going to get an ulcer at this point. "Yeah," he mumbled quietly when she repeated the word. "Expel." He kept his voice steady now, tone level, but the hurt and the fear was in his eyes. He couldn't hide that from Nell, not from the girl who knew everything about him. There was comfort in that knowledge. No secrets. Maybe it's better she found out now, instead of finding out I lied to her when I got kicked out of school. Water under the bridge. For all he knew, she'd approached the subject so quickly because she'd thought he would tell her anyway. The guilt was strengthening—would she trust him that much? Unconditionally? Stop thinking. It was a problem of his, the thoughts. They didn't stop.

He chewed the inside of his lip for a moment, thinking some more. Kept getting better and better, didn't it? "They might be. A lot of that stuff is illegal." He was generalizing, not actually meaning to indicate the pictures and videos that had been found on his computer and sent to the administration. He didn't know a whole lot about porn (hey, he wasn't that innocent, there was a time before his relationship with Nell) but he knew that not all of it was perfectly safe and legal. "He might have. He seems pretty set on it. I think he's already decided I'm guilty and he's waiting on my laptop for proof." And the proof would be there, guilty as charged. Except he wasn't guilty. Deleting the files from the computer and wiping his history would not work. If anything, that made him look all the more responsible. He simply did not see a way out of this twisted tunnel. Her hand in his felt nice, something solid to hold on to while the torrential waters crashed around him, but it did not help with his internal dilemma. What am I going to do? It didn't matter how many times he repeated it, over and over, it wasn't getting any better. There weren't any answers. "I can't get kicked out of school. Everything I worked toward..." His voice did not shake, crack, break, but the words were enough. They were heavy, laden with the weight of the world that had suddenly settled on his shoulders like an old friend. He couldn't be happy, could he? There always had to be something that messed it up for him.

Upon noticing the subtle set of her jaw, Josh recognised a sign of frustration. Anger, maybe. It always surprised him when it was Nell. Still, they handled themselves much differently. She didn't snarl and rant and rage about the girl as Joshua would have had their roles been reversed. Her anger was not as openly noticeable as his. Indeed, he wondered if anyone else would have picked up on it at all. "The feeling is mutual." His gray eyes were dark and there was a blazing fury behind the wall of uncertainty. "Especially now." He had attacked Altair because the Fire bitch was going for Nell. It had been unfounded, an attack with no real purpose except to hurt his then-girlfriend. Rowena was ruining his life because of it, or trying to anyway. He worried that she might succeed. Please don't let her succeed. Everything seemed bleak to him. There was no colour, no light. "I... I can't remember," he said, and sounded frustrated by this fact. He could usually remember the people in a room if he was paying them any mind but he had not been trying to concentrate on who he had seen. He wished he had done a better job of scrutinizing his surroundings but it was too late now. Besides, how could he ever have predicted this? "Was there anyone else in the library?" It was his only hope, the one thing he could cling to. They hadn't been the only ones there but whether or not anyone had been around to bear direct witness was a different matter entirely. I'm so fucked.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

[NELL DOE DALE]

so i know nothing of your taste

AND NOW SPEAK UP LOVER

IT'S IN YOUR LIPS, I FOUND

c'mon just press against me, i finally have your attention.

A lot of its illegal? Him talking about it so candidly was concerning her, made her squirming a bit. Did he wonder how she felt about it, her finding out his secret? Or maybe he wasn't keeping it a secret, considering that she didn't peak over his shoulder whenever he was on it and people didn't generally talk about that stuff. "Oh," she said, eyebrows furrowed. Apparently in the world pictures and movies could be illegal. She tried not to focus much on law, anyway. In other news, she was terrified for Josh, and could only imagine how he was feeling. Well, she could tell from the surface, but she knew how important his education was to him. She would be upset if she were expelled, mostly for different reasons, but she would find another way. "Maybe it'll give him time to cool off and change his mind," she offered up the silver lining. She squeezed his hand as if to give him extra reassurance, even though she couldn't be entirely sure herself. She didn't even know the man, didn't have any real reason to pay him a visit, never sent him e-mails with pictures of blond girls. Not knowing what else to do for him when he said that he couldn't afford to get expelled, just nuzzled her head against his shoulder like a dog. "I know," she murmured. While everything else might have been uncertain in this moment, Nell knew that Rowena was going to pay for this.

And clearly Josh was just as displeased with the Thunder girl, as expected. What she did was something very unforgivable, and coming home to him just established as much. She hated the fact that everything he'd done so far may go to shit because of some vindictive bitch. "Well I'll take care of that one," she said with a shrug, as if it was just a given. She hadn't fought the girl. For one, she just could. For another, she'd have most likely lost considering she never fought once in her life, not even a slap fight. Well, a serious one at least. It would have once made her feel powerless against this, but now she knew there were other ways to get back at people. Rowena did it to Josh. And hell, Jane did it to her by twisting everything she had told her and trying to throw her in jail. "Don't want her to think she can get away with this." Even if things took a turn for the worse--Nell really didn't want to think that way--she wouldn't let Rowena be content up on her pedestal. She wanted to bring the girl down if she thought she could bring Josh down, as well.

Nell was determined to fix things, though, or at least make them seem better. Even though she could understand Josh's mood. She really was hoping that only a detention would be in order, but clearly the headmaster took these sorts of things more seriously than that. El stupido, she thought, even though the man really didn't deserve it. He didn't know what he was doing to her fiance, but Josh's future was in jeopardy, and so she took hold of these thoughts and ran with them. "Yeah," Nell said instantly to his question, nodding her head. "Yeah, there was this other kid with her. He was on the computer too, kind of just bolted when I came up to him." It was like a ray of light, really, even though she was always willing to see light in the dark places. Even if it didn't really exist. "Don't know his name or anything, but maybe if we find out who he is he'll help us out." She bet that he was Rowena's accomplice, but she hoped that since he left when she came, he may be coward enough to come forth and sell out the girl. She certainly hoped so, because they were really running out of options herre.

[/justify]

[JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE]

it's the colours you have ,

NO NEED TO BE SAD

- - - - - - - - - - -it really ain't that bad

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Joshua blinked at Nell as if seeing her in a new light. Her anger was still new to him, the fact that she could get truly incensed about something. He'd seen her yell when she'd thought he was cheating on her, witnessed her anger toward her father when he'd left her for a second time, but it seemed people were really determined to draw out the worst in Nell lately. Except he did not see this as being the worst of her. He was glad that she was there for him, glad that things like this bothered her. For they would bother Josh were the roles reversed and he knew that this was the case. "Are you sure? You don't have to get involved, Nell, I wouldn't ask that of you." He didn't ask much of her, at least he didn't think that he did. Relationships weren't about take and take and take some more. He tried not to ask too much of her. Only what he thought she could give to him, thought that she wanted to give. "All the same, that bitch deserves to get what's coming to her." He didn't know what exactly was coming to her but he hoped that it was bad. No, not just bad, fucking terrible, exactly like what she'd done to him. She was trying to ruin his life, here. Somehow he wondered how someone as sweet as Nell could handle payback but he didn't question her further on the matter. She seemed dead serious and he almost admired this rare occurrence. Liked it. It was nice to see her not backing down for once. It didn't connect to him that things had only changed because it was he who was being threatened and not Nell herself.

Hope. He tried not to latch onto it, tried to ignore the feeling rising in his chest as if nothing had happened at all. It was there, though, and it wasn't going away. As a pessimist, a part of Joshua insisted that this would all amount of nothing and that it would be pointless to cling to it as if it would. At the same time, Joshua had gotten better with his pessimism. Life had given him good things recently that he could rely on. Like Nell. Nothing had come between them lately, nothing too detrimental at least. After the trial was out of the way and they traversed the brief rough patch of her father's second abandonment, Josh was confident with her. He was completely unaware that this feeling of confidence was not mutual. "Maybe? I'll make him help us out." The words were almost vicious, though they were spoken calmly. He hardly ever yelled unless his anger was really, really provoked. Nell had done that to him once, had made him snap. He tried not to remember. "That's good, though, it's something. At least we have something, right?" He wanted to kick himself for the hope in his voice. What if this ended up being all for naught? No, I can't give up already. They hadn't even found the kid yet, let alone talked to him. "Do you remember what he looked like? Would you recognise him if you saw him again?" He would go into the mess hall and track the bastard down if he had to. This was his life on the line. Not his physical well-being but his dreams and his goals. Everything he'd worked for, just as he said to Nell.

He had been so focused on the news when she'd came into the living room that he had not bothered going through the usual barrage of questions with his fiancée. "How are you? Did you have a good day? Are you hungry? What am I talking about, of course you are. Is there anything you want to do?" He normally had a routine list of things that he'd cover when they met up, mostly out of interest, but she'd started right in with the accusations against Rowena and so he hadn't got the chance. It was in noticing the burn on her arm that his attention was diverted away from his own issue. Fuck the laptop, Nell was hurt! How in the hell did she get hurt? "Shit, are you alright? Your arm, what happened?" It certainly looked like a burn but he knew enough about his own element to know it was not caused by it. Electrical burn. It didn't take much more than that for him to figure it out. "I didn't even notice, I'm sorry." He felt a little insensitive for focusing so much on himself when he was not the only one in pain either physical or mental. His issues mattered, of course, but hers were equally important. "Do you want to put anything on it? I'm sure we've got something around the house." This was the son of Donovan Dale, M.D. Cuts, scrapes, burns, illnesses, he had an entire arsenal of remedies both conventional and a little obscure. He figured it was best to just use bandages for an electrical burn. It was different from being burned with fire. He wished that his element could cure the damage done by the Thunder bitch but unfortunately, it was not the case.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

[NELL DOE DALE]

so i know nothing of your taste

AND NOW SPEAK UP LOVER

IT'S IN YOUR LIPS, I FOUND

c'mon just press against me, i finally have your attention.

Nell cast a disarming smile to Josh, all pleasantness and cheer. It was easy for her to mask her anger, she didn't have a temper or anything like that to worry about. She was gentle by nature, barely even thought about that fact. It was adorable, Josh saying that she didn't have to get involved, that he wouldn't ask it of her. "Please, I'm already involved." She was involved the moment Rowena had the thought of sabotaging Josh in her head. He was the most important person to her, he was everything, a violation of him was a violation of her by extension. "Mmm," she agreed silently, and she really couldn't agree more with him on something. She didn't really have enemies of her own, didn't hate the people who messed around with her. She made enemies out of those who hurt those around her. And perhaps hate was too strong a word, she didn't honestly have the capacity to hate anyone thoroughly. But she was pretty damn sure she felt something strong about Rowena. Even the name sent a chill down her back, and she was ready to do something, anything, just to make her go away and never cause trouble again. Who does she even think she is, messing with my man. Thoughts of the girl also brought thoughts of her concerns, however, these concerns that wouldn't allow her to actually meet Josh's eye.

Nell had no problems with Josh forcing any information out of the kid. She hoped he did, but right now that was really all she could do. Sometimes she wished she had more power in the world, more influence, only so she could help other people. It was always painful to realize that her reputation would not allow her to have any true sort of power over anyone else. She liked to not think of the future--not only because things like what was happening to Josh could destroy its possibility, but because she didn't know how much there was out there for someone like her. "Yup," she agreed, glad that she remembered the kid. Her memory was a handy dandy tool, she had to say, especially when it came to inspiring some hope into a situation. That's all they really needed, right? She didn't want to admit that she was insufferably naive sometimes. "It's more than something." All the air of confidence and sureness. If one looked on the bad side of things, the bad would become inescapable. No good came of it. She let her thoughts turn that way a few times before, and it always turned out for the worse. "Don't think I could give you a description off the top of my head, but I'd definitely recognize him if I saw him again." Hell, she could draw a sketch from memory if need be. It would turn out pretty bad, but it was something, really.

She blinked at the injury, as if just realizing that it was there. The stinging had long since become a simple irritant, like a persistent insect buzzing in her ear. "Ohh, yeah. That would be the work of Miss Rowena." Thinking of the girl, she could feel a residual sting in her cheek. I don't need to fight her. She was resilient in the fact. With his next words, she blinked up at Josh. "It's nothing. Earth beats Thunder, rock paper scissors." He knew that one, and she might have laughed at a better time. Her arm was really nothing but an annoyance easily pushed aside at this point. Thank you for the high-pain threshold, mommy. What she really wanted was to just ignore it and let it go away on its own. But she knew that Josh would disapprove, and so she decided to be acquiescent. He was having a hard enough time without her acting like a baby about something so minor. "Yeah, sure," she said nonchalantly, hoping it didn't sound like she was whining or complaining or anything like that. She thought about Rowena again. "You think he'd fuck me if I were one of those girls, Nell?" Was it that important? While Josh did his aspiring-doctor thing, she took a few moments to get her thoughts organized before just coming out with it. "I...you know, if you would prefer it...I'd totally be willing to dye my hair blond." She coughed, looked away. Did she want the answer?

[/justify]

[JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE]

it's the colours you have ,

NO NEED TO BE SAD

- - - - - - - - - - -it really ain't that bad

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

His gray gaze softened slightly and he offered her a smile, brushing his hand over her cheek. It was a thank you that he could not put into words, a silent expression of the gratitude he felt about having someone on his side. He was sure a lot of his friends would stand by him during tough times if only he asked it of them, being that he only kept the people around that he felt were good for him nowadays, but he wouldn't ask. He was too proud to open up and so Nell, who was privy to everything going on in his life, stepped forward of her own accord. I should never think of lying to her again. The guilt was still doing its thing, gnawing persistently. He was trying his best to dispel it by making promises of the future to himself. Never again, never again. There was too much to lose when it came to lying. Far too much. "As long as you can recognise him." He didn't care much for a description, a sketch. The moment Nell pointed the guy out to him, he would be all over him. White on rice. That kid was going to spill his guts whether he liked it or not. Joshua was not a gentle person by nature and when you threatened something as important to him as his future, he became dangerous. Deadly. "We'll look for him, then. It... it would need to be first thing tomorrow," he realised slowly, suddenly feeling worried. "You might need to miss a class or something, he's making me skip mine—" He spoke of the headmaster with an obvious distaste, "—and it might take a while. I wouldn't ask you, but..." He trailed off. Again with the hope. He hated asking Nell anything. "If it's too much trouble, I'll go it alone." This was his problem, after all, much as he didn't want it to be.

The anger was immediate, a crashing wave of it that stopped his thoughts in their tracks for a moment. It was hard to concentrate on his anger, hard to focus on anything but the fact that he wanted to rip its source apart. It was lucky he had self-control, really, or Joshua acknowledged reluctantly that he'd probably be in jail by now. The people who'd seen him snap and attack the causes of his ire probably disagreed on the subject of control but what they didn't know was that he got angry a lot more than he hurt people because of it. "Fucking bitch," he said, and the words were low in his throat and dark of tone. Yeah, so does Fire. He wanted to roast her, deal with her as he had dealt with his sister. Then he realised that it would probably be the worst move to make in this situation. He'd get into even more trouble with the headmaster and who was going to believe she'd sabotaged him if he put her in the medical wing? Earth beats it, too. Nell didn't stand much of a chance against Altair, she can handle her bitch of a sister. It'll be fine. It didn't feel like it was going to be fine but he coached himself through these thoughts to try and convince himself. "Just—just be careful around her." It was an effort not to lose control and he hoped she recognised how hard he was trying, respected it. It was lucky he was with Nell, really. She was calming. He squeezed her hand, needing the comfort more than he had in a while. He hated relying on people and yet it was somehow so easy to find himself relying on her. "I'll go get something," he said, and he kissed her hair briefly when he stood before going to the 'office' at the end of the hall where he'd taken to storing medical supplies.

He came back with the dry and sterile gauze, sat back down beside her and gently took her arm. He made sure to avoid touching the burn directly as he worked, knowing that it might make it hurt more. The last thing he wanted to do was worsen her pain. He looked up when she spoke, gray eyes curious. If I'd prefer it? Then she went on and he blinked, the curiosity switching to confusion. Uh... what? That seemed like such a bizarre question for her to ask that he actually let out a quick breath of laughter, a single sound that died quickly. Nell seemed almost uncomfortable in the way she'd coughed and looked away. Joshua did not connect the fact that she thought he spent his days looking at videos of hot blonde girls, had not taken the time to go through all of what had been downloaded onto the computer. He didn't really want to. It would feel like cheating, looking at other girls like that when he had a fiancée. "Uh, now don't take this the wrong way, Nell, but I don't think blonde would suit you..." He was so used to her the way she was, sitting here in front of him with her brunette hair and her matching eyes, warm like chocolate, this was the girl that he'd fallen in love with. Imagining her with blonde hair was liking dying his own red. Hard to picture. Where the hell did this come from? What if this was something Nell really wanted, though? He knew that he wouldn't want to stop her from doing something that she wanted to do. It was her life. Girls dye their hair all the time. It's not my choice, it's hers. No, I wouldn't prefer, but... If that was Nell's decision, it was her decision.

[Now it's Josh's turn to be le derping xD]

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

[NELL DOE DALE]

so i know nothing of your taste

AND NOW SPEAK UP LOVER

IT'S IN YOUR LIPS, I FOUND

c'mon just press against me, i finally have your attention.

Nell had no problem with skipping a class to help Josh out. Especially since they were riding on this one kid. If they couldn't get anything out of them, Josh was pretty much SOL, wasn't he? That was a very concerning thought for the Earth girl. "No, it's not a problem at all. I have English in the morning, and missing that once won't kill me." She was doing exceptionally well, and she had great attendance otherwise. After all, she didn't have any reason to stay home from school thanks to her immune system. "I wouldn't want you to go it alone." It didn't sound nice, even to her. Sure, he could easily shoulder things himself, but she couldn't believe there was anyone out there who enjoyed burdens that life gave them, no matter how well they handled them. Besides, she didn't want Josh to be torching every kid who happened to look like the guy. His anger was a scary thing, and it was best not to have it unleashed on the innocent school population. And his anger at Rowena was equally as such. Nell looked at her arm, tempted to poke it like a bruise and test out how much it would actually hurt, see if it was healing well enough on its own. Something else she had a feeling that Josh would not approve of. "I'll be careful," she said, more for his benefit than anything. No need to worry about her or anything.

She smiled when he kissed her head, growing even more and more antsy as time went on and he came back, thoughts of blonds and a certain...stupidhead in her mind. She never thought that her hair color would ever be a problem in her life. It was something she just accepted as a part of her. And she liked it. Living with her mother she wasn't so appreciative of looking like her dead sister, but now she embraced that fact. Nell was a good little patient when Josh brought the gauze, more bothered by her own thoughts than the injury. Nell bit her lip when he looked at her, tugged on the bangs framing her face. Was it a bad thing to ask? Maybe she should have just held her tongue and done it without asking... That might have been a good solution. Her heart sank when he said that blond hair wouldn't suit her. "Y-you think so?" She said, tugging at a strand and looking at it from the corner of her eye. I wouldn't look good as a blond? That meant she wouldn't look good to Josh, right, because he liked blond girls and she felt her brain start to short circuit. I can pull it off. It was a desperate thought, really.

It hurt that Josh didn't think it would suit her, though. Does this mean that he's not attracted to me? What else was she doing wrong? Maybe there were other things she could change, too, to make it better for her. "B-but...I mean...it's no problem. My friend dyes her hair all the time. It's kind of hard to go from dark to light, but it's...I mean it's possible." It was pretty simple, she'd seen it done. "And hey, I've had the same hair color for nineteen years, it's easy to change." She never tried to imagine herself as a blond because there had never been a reason to. But if Josh liked looking at blond girls, then it was something minor, right? She didn't have any real attachment to her color, it was insignificant, really. "I just thought..." She paused to gather her thoughts, looking at anything but Josh. It was uncomfortable thinking about the fact that he may have never told her preferences before. He'd asked her about standards, and she told him that she didn't have any. But what if he did, and he just didn't tell her? What else was he hiding? He hid a brother, and a porn stash, and now it was really getting hard to reign in her concerns. "You know, you might like it better than my natural hair color..." She wanted Josh to say yes so she knew that she still had a chance. If not then...what could she do to make it better for him?

[/justify]

[JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE]

it's the colours you have ,

NO NEED TO BE SAD

- - - - - - - - - - -it really ain't that bad

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

For someone like Josh, asking someone to skip a class for him was a pretty big deal. He'd skipped an entire week in order to stay with Nell when she was sick and yet a single class seemed like a lot to him. It was strange sometimes, the way his brain worked. "Thanks, babe. At least I've got you on my side." It meant a lot to him, more than he could put into words, because Joshua was normally the independent go-it-alone sort. He was concerned about the burn but allowed that concern to soften slightly when she didn't protest to the gauze and promised him that he would be careful. He fretted over Nell's well-being just as any person would about their partner but he was not so much of a mother hen that he wouldn't know when to give it a rest. What if it doesn't work out, though? He didn't want to be expelled, didn't want to know what everyone would think of him. "If..." He coughed to clear his throat, tried to look and sound nonchalant as he said, "If I do get expelled... will you still stay? I... I'm not really sure what I'll do... y'know, if worst comes to worst." He wasn't sure how easy it would be to get into another college because he'd only ever been threatened with expulsion at one school other than the Academy and his parents had talked the headmaster out of it. There was nothing they could do about this. What was worse—he hadn't done anything wrong this time. At least the last time his punishment would have been warranted, he nearly broke a boy's arm. This time it was due to a terrible misunderstanding.

The way she stammered when she spoke, the tone of her voice, Joshua knew almost immediately that he'd said the wrong thing. He felt a wave of unease and regret, wanting to take it back but knowing that any damage was already done. He was an honest person, he hadn't wanted to lie to her. I didn't want to hurt her, either. He swallowed the lump that had rose in his throat and chewed on the inside of his lip, brow creasing with the weight of his upset. "I—I'm sorry Nell, but no." He couldn't bring himself to lie to her. It would be unfair to tell her that he thought she could pull off blonde and lie through his teeth about it. Blondes were hot, sure, but they weren't Nell. She was his, he liked her hair its natural colour. Everything about her seemed natural and he liked that. It was better than bottle-blondes with caked-on make-up any day. He cringed internally as she went on, like she was trying to justify the hair colour to him. She really wants this, doesn't she? God, he felt like an asshole. I'm only being honest. "Look, if that's what you want to do, I won't stop you. I just don't think it's the right fit for you." He shook his head, gave her an apologetic look. Damn it, why did she have to ask him? Why couldn't she have just gone ahead with it and shocked him so that he had to accept it if she wanted it that bad? Maybe he was wrong. Maybe it would look okay and he was being a colossal dick for telling her it wouldn't. Oh, I don't know. He wasn't good at this sort of thing.

Her tone was killing him and he really wished that she would just look at him. She was making him feel like he'd done something wrong by giving her his opinion and that was confusing him. So he either had to remain honest in their relationship or he had to lie in order to make Nell feel better about herself and her decisions? He didn't like the sound of that. He was deceptive by nature, he lied to almost everyone, but almost was the key word. He hated lying to Nell. "Hey, Nell, look at me," he said softly when she suggested he might like blonde better. "What makes you think that?" He couldn't remember ever telling her that he liked blondes. Did she think he'd been checking out blonde girls or something? His thoughts went to Brittney and he felt a prickling of suspicion. Was that it? He didn't feel angry with Nell, merely concerned. I like her the way she is. Why would she think...? It worried him. He did not connect the stash of videos on the computer to the fact that Nell was so suddenly concerned about hair colour. "I like your hair. It suits you. I don't think blonde would." He reached out a hand to run it through the brown strands, teasing it with a soft smile. "Besides, I prefer brunettes." Nell was a brunette, after all, and she was the only girl he'd ever really fallen for. He'd kissed other girls, stared at them, slept with him, but he loved Nell and that made all the difference.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

[NELL DOE DALE]

so i know nothing of your taste

AND NOW SPEAK UP LOVER

IT'S IN YOUR LIPS, I FOUND

c'mon just press against me, i finally have your attention.

Nell didn't understand what he meant at first, when he asked if she'd stay, not really sure what to make of his signals. In the mansion? At the Academy? Is he planning to move if they kick him out? Confusion crossed her expression for a moment when it clicked. "Of course!" she said, immensely bewildered. Then her voice softened, "Of course. I'll always want to stay with you, and I'm sorry but...you can't change that." She frowned, and shrugged in an apologetic way, trying to make light of it all. It was said in a joking tone, but the fact that nothing that happened would make her leave. She didn't love him because he was in college at the Academy. She did love him because of his dedication and drive, because that was a part of him, and she loved every part of him. The question was did he love every part of her? If it was just her hair color, that could go easily. She'd gotten a tattoo, after all, that was a rather permanent change to her body. And dying her hair wouldn't even be that permanent. Nell wasn't looking forward to dying her hair every few weeks to touch it up, but if it was what Josh wanted then she would be more than willing to do so.

And it was very disappointing that he didn't think it'd work for her. I can make it work, she thought stubbornly. She wanted to be everything for Josh, and having something like this that seemed so wrong did not sit well in mind. It was like denying a child candy as they walked through it, eyes on the lollipops and the licorice. Am I not good enough, Josh? It wasn't a bitter thought, simply forlorn. How was she supposed to know? Who was she, anyway? She didn't even know how to make herself better in the long run because she didn't know much about herself. Her personality, what she was like. She decided that she was just wreckage, left over from her family's history. She was the collection of all the people she met. Tell me what to change. She wouldn't be able to come up with the answers herself. "If you wouldn't like it then..." It was a resignation to the fact that Josh wouldn't look at her like he did the girls on his computer. If she couldn't be what he preferred, what he obviously liked, then...where did that even put her?

At his request, she brought her eyes back to him, uncertain and wavering, and dropped her hand from her hair. Why did she think that? Wasn't it obvious? She wasn't fidgeting anymore, at least, that was a plus. Still, it was not easy for her to talk about this. This was her fiance's dirty little secret, after all. "B-because the girls on your computer are blond, and if you like blonds..." She shrugged, picking at the gauze on her arm, and had no choice but to look away again. There was a pit in her stomach and she didn't know what to do with that. "So...you could just...you know, ask...I'd change anything." She swallowed, and it was the sort of feeling she got when she was about to cry, with her stomach twisting and her chest tight, but she didn't think she was going to cry. Surely he knew that, right? He didn't have to go look at anything else. If he got bored, she'd change something. She blinked when she felt his hand in her hair, meeting his eyes, a blush spreading out across her face. "R-really?" she said, wondering if he actually meant that.

[/justify]

[JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE]

it's the colours you have ,

NO NEED TO BE SAD

- - - - - - - - - - -it really ain't that bad

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

The certainty in her voice was reassuring and he laughed to diffuse the tension that he himself felt. It was heartening to realise that he'd still have his fiancée if the situation at the Academy crashed and burned. It was not what he wanted but Nell would be enough to help him pull through it. For someone as driven and ambitious as Joshua, this was a living nightmare. It's not the end, though. Losing Nell would be the worst case scenario. He was at least sensible enough to realise that. He relied heavily on the Earth girl, she was his best friend, confidant and partner all rolled into one. "Good... I'm glad." There was an overwhelming sense of relief and he rested a hand on her shoulder for a moment to show his thanks. Then she brought up hair colour and his relief shifted into confusion and worry. He wanted her to be happy, wanted to be able to tell her with honesty that he'd think she'd look A-OK as a blonde and that she should move ahead with whatever she wanted to do. She can, he told himself. I won't stop her. He didn't like it, that was all. "Sorry," he said again, and it was awkward because he didn't know what else to tell her. "It won't change things between us, I promise. If you want to go blonde, I'll stick by that decision." He felt the need to add this. Just as his possible expulsion didn't change anything, Nell's desire to dye her hair didn't change it either.

The girls... on his computer? He recoiled physically with the surprise, forehead creasing as he frowned with confusion and blinked at her. His puzzlement was plain as day. "What?" How did her hair colour (or future colour) have anything to do with his computer? He glanced toward his laptop out of habit and then his eyes went wide as he recalled the entire reason they'd started this discussion anyway. "Oh!" It was a sharp exclamation, louder than his voice usually got. He was a quiet guy but the shock had gotten through to himself. His thoughts in the next moment were jumbled and flustered and he shook his head emphatically. "Oh! You think—no! Nell, those aren't—that—" He stopped himself short before he tripped over the words any more. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. The reasoning for the sudden discussion had clicked into place with such impressive force that it had effectively screwed his his ability to form a coherent sentence. He calmed himself down for a second and took a breath. "That—that stuff on the computer isn't mine, Nell. I swear." He didn't say it with the frantic, suspicious tone of someone who had something to hide. Instead it was firm and honest. "I don't... I don't have anything like that on there. Or I didn't, anyway. You can check it yourself, I'll give you the password, if they didn't delete my internet history it'll all be right there." He was dead serious, too. Just as he'd offered to let her go through his phone when she'd accused him of cheating. "I haven't got anything to hide." It made him proud to know he could say that truthfully.

Would you really? It was strange to think that she would change anything for him. He'd never had someone promise him that before, be so willing to alter their own sense of self to please him. There was a mingled feeling of sadness (Do you really think I don't like you?) and affection (She really cares what I think, doesn't she?). "I would never ask you to change yourself for me." He shook his head, sounding unhappy. "I like you the way you are, Nell. It doesn't matter what colour your hair is. I'd love you if you were blonde, too, I just think brown looks better on you." Most people suited their natural hair colour best. It was natural. Not everyone, but most. His lips twitched when she blushed. It was cute. He slid closer to her, pulled her against him in a hug. "Really. I wouldn't lie to you." He'd proved that by telling her his true opinion about going blonde rather than making up some excuse. Joshua hoped that she was not too hurt by his opinion but he figured that telling her the truth now was better than Nell finding out the hard way later. Especially if she'd only wanted to change it because of him. He kissed her as if to prove a point, running a hand through the hair that she'd thought was the root of some sort of problem. "The only thing," he said between pauses, "I want you to change... is the way you think about yourself." He smirked into the kiss, deepened it. "Because I... think you're fucking brilliant." It wasn't as touching as 'beautiful' or anything but 'fucking brilliant' pretty much summed up his feelings. Fuck the laptop, he'd think about that later. Right now he was determined to prove Nell wrong about herself.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

[NELL DOE DALE]

so i know nothing of your taste

AND NOW SPEAK UP LOVER

IT'S IN YOUR LIPS, I FOUND

c'mon just press against me, i finally have your attention.

She probably shouldn't have been getting so upset about the hair issue, but it was just a culmination of everything that had happened that day. It was startling when a secret came to the surface, especially one like this. It was turning on a bright light, stunning her, and what she saw on the computer did that pretty well. It didn't cross her mind that downloading those things had been a part of Rowena's master plan. "But I don't want it if you don't want it," she mumbled. "I mean...yeah, if you don't think blond will look good..." she wrinkled her forehead. It really should have been more about what she wanted, considering this was her hair and all, but she never thought about it before. She never had anyone to impress, and she wanted to impress Josh. Nell just wanted him to be happy. Did she dislike the hair color? She really didn't have an opinion on blond hair. She liked doing other people's hair and sometimes got confused when other people decided to change their own. She didn't connect the fact that Josh may be confused about this. Especially when he said the one word, and she wondered if she phrased that wrong or something, but then he apparently realized what she meant. And she squirmed a bit, just thinking about the... paraphernalia Josh had. It was really weird, she'd never had to deal with an issue like this before.

At first she was curious as to why he seemed to flustered. It was his, after all. Did it just finally come to him that she knew about his secret or something? She wasn't bothered by the actual looking at...paraphernalia, she was bothered by the fact that he needed to look at that. She listened in quiet concern as he got out a few words, blinking in confusion until he finally told her that it didn't belong. "Oh." Now she was flustered, embarrassed that she'd automatically assume that anything like that on his computer would be his. "I just thought...that since they were there...that they had always been...there." Oh, jeez, so it was Rowena and her accomplice that planted the...paraphernalia. All the more reason to hate her, making her suspect her fiance. She believed his words immediately, so she smiled weakly when he offered to let her look in his computer to prove to her that he didn't have anything on there other than what they had sent to the professors. "I believe you," she said, touched that he would trust her so much that he'd give her the password. "And uhm...Rowena closed the computer so I actually think it might all still be up there.' Her blush intensified with that. She wasn't a prude, but really, she didn't want to think about all that. But at least one thought bolstered her, and it was the fact that she could keep Josh satisfied, so take that, Rowena Stupidhead Bennett.

It was strange how much lighter she felt now that the anxiety had unwound and she figured that she didn't have to dye her hair. But...what if he still preferred blonds and he just wasn't saying it. You can trust him. And she did, but what if he wanted to protect her or something? No, he was honest when he told her that blond wouldn't suit her, if he wanted to protect her he'd just have told her to go ahead with it. Even though she wasn't at that moment, now she was glad that he was so honest and wouldn't just lie to make her feel better. Her thoughts stopped short when he said that he wouldn't change her, that he would love her no matter what her hair color was. "I...thank you," she said, now tugging at her hair to use her bangs as a veil for her blush. As a distraction, she mumbled, "I guess I like it too. Never thought about it...but if you like it." She didn't think about it much, and she was glad that she actually didn't have a reason to think about it. She smiled when he hugged her and wrapped her arms around him, saying, "Don't dye your hair either, okay, I like it. You don't have to change anything." That was true, at least, but it was good to know he felt the same way about her that she did him. He could change anything and she'd still love him. She smiled into the kiss, her hands resting on his chest. All anxiety disappeared with the contact. But she didn't know what to think when he told her that he just wanted to change her self-image. "I don't know how to do that. I don't really think about it," she murmured before meeting his lips again and still blushing, because she didn't know how to get rid of it. Really, how was she supposed to change something she never thought about? "But thank you. I think you're pretty brilliant yourself." She grinned. The words were so nice, no matter what she made about herself.

[/justify]

[JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE]

it's the colours you have ,

NO NEED TO BE SAD

- - - - - - - - - - -it really ain't that bad

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

He frowned at her, more confused than he was angry. "Why would I want that, though?" When it came to Nell's image, he wanted her to do what made her happy. He had his own opinions and he would voice them if she asked but he would not control her. That was not how their relationship worked. She seemed so incredibly awkward and flustered after he explained that the videos were not his and damn it, this entire situation was awkward. He didn't think he'd ever been through the likes of it before and he never wanted to go through it again. "I guess it makes sense that you'd make that assumption, yeah." A lot of guys had porn on their computer and he was not blind to this fact, it simply wasn't his style. He was in a relationship that he was satisfied with and so there was no need. A small part of him was a bit offended that she'd jump to such conclusions, not realising that Rowena had helped Nell along with her words, but he tried to ignore this. She had every right to assume things. He was glad that they'd been able to work it all out without fighting about it like they had when Nell thought he was cheating. Watching dirty videos would feel like cheating, at least to Josh. "Here," he said, pulling the computer over to him and opening it. He recited his password aloud as he typed it, wanting her to know that she had his full trust, and he tried not to look phased as he closed the windows one by one and then brought up the internet. "Huh, I don't remember it being this slow..." He shrugged it off and eventually got to the internet history. "It's safe to look," he teased, passing it over.

He put the computer back on the table after the evidence had been displayed. "I was going to delete it but it's probably best the headmaster sees the history." He would have preferred to get all of it off his computer so he could work on his assignments without being reminded of the incident. There won't be assignments to work on if I get expelled. He tried not to let the crushing weight of despair claim him again as he smiled at Nell when she thanked him. "I do like it." He wished she was more confident in herself, that she didn't rely so heavily on his opinions. He also liked that she valued his opinion, though it would be better if she found a comfortable place between the two things. Joshua laughed when she told him not to dye his hair, amused by the thought. He had never considered dying his own hair before and so he didn't think that she had to worry about that. It was nice to know that Nell liked him the way that he was, though, just as he was perfectly fine with her. They had overcome the fact that one of them was an ex-gang member and the other guilty of matricide, such trivial things as hair colour should not be much of an issue. "I don't think you have anything to worry about there." He was still feeling the panic from the fact that he might be expelled but he was calming now, allowing Nell's overall presence to take effect on him like it always did. She did not make the problems go away, she was not a fairy fucking godmother, but she lifted his spirits and allowed him to believe that optimism was possible. Good things happened to people, they weren't as rare as miracles.

He shifted his position on the couch, leaning back so that it was more comfortable and he could wrap his arms around her, fully indulging in the contact. How could this girl ever think that she wasn't the best thing in the world for him? "You should," he said, seriously despite the fact that he sounded a little distracted. She was very good at being a distraction. "Brilliant people should always acknowledge their... mm, brilliance." Alright, so his way with words was not as great mid-makeout but could you really blame him? He chuckled under his breath, moved from her lips to her neck and nuzzled it before he sucked at the skin. "Just brilliant? Oh, I see how it is." He was kidding, that much was obvious, and how was any video better than this? The girls in the video might have been hot and they might have done things Nell would never consider doing but it was never real. He wasn't desperate enough to need them. He remembered that Annabel was home and decided that he didn't care within the same train of thought. She was upstairs right now, she wouldn't give a shit. He didn't give a shit. "I think that bitch was jealous," he said, mostly boasting and not realising how accurate this was. "She can't have all of this right here." He gestured lazily to the two of them and then slipped the hand under the fabric of Nell's shirt, smirking at her. "D'you think?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - -