* EVERY PRETTY WORD, [isabella]

WITHIN ME THERE'S A GAPING HOLE

it seems i'm last to know,

no one or thing can fill this empty space that i've been pacing in

Nell focused on hemming a pair of jeans as she sat in the living room of the group home, tongue poking out a bit. The girl she was doing it for sat next to her, chewing her nails. ”Does this look good?” the Earth questioned, and Maya jumped, and when she looked over Nell saw that her eyes were moving back and forth out of her control. ”W-what?” She gestured to the hem right now so that the pale girl would understand and she understood then. ”Yeah, yeah. Thanks. Yeah.” She reached out a hand for the pants, but Nell pulled them away. ”Did you take your meds today?” she questioned with that maternal authority she’d perfected around here. Some of the girls called her their mother in that annoyed way that didn’t have any affection in it. She didn’t mind, as long as she was doing something for these girls. ”Y-yeah.” Nell set the pants down on her lap, bored her eyes into the girl’s. ”I’m counting so you better be telling me the truth.” Maya acquired a look of indignation then, and said quite confidently in her childish way, ”I’m not lying! I did.” Nell sighed and handed her the pants, stood up from the couch and pursed her lips when she heard her knee joints crack. Was she really becoming an old woman so soon?

As she packed up to leave, making small talk in Spanish with Leana, her phone vibrated and it was the exact last person she wanted. “When are you coming over?” Rafael’s text read, and she texted back to inform him that she had been over earlier and she was going out now. His response was one she was absolutely not up for—“I’m coming along. Meet me at the mall.” She clenched her teeth before saying by to Leana and deciding not to go to the mall so she could avoid the boy. He wouldn’t get miffed if she blew this off, right? Not enough to do any serious damage, she hoped. With that small inkling of fear, she decided to suck it up and go to the mall. Daylight was waning and she was thankful for the fact that Maple Hollow was a brightly lit city. ”What took ya?” Raf asked when she came to the mall. ”Roads are snowy,” she lied to him. They were, though, and she was reminded that she didn’t really like snow. But she could deal with it. ”Well, you’re gonna be buying my presents so let’s get moving.” She gave him a deadpan stare. ”What, you have friends?” she asked smartly and he thwacked her upside the head in a gesture that could have been considered playful were he anyone else. ”Gotta get Angie something real nice.” Nell grimaced. He knew how much she detested him, how powerless she was in his path, and the mere name got her bristling.

She had been spreading her shop time out because she had a lot of presents to buy. And now she had to take care of Raf as well, it seemed, but she could suck it up. He was just buying presents. ”What do you think she’d like?” he asked when they passed Victoria’s Secret and she felt sick to her stomach. ”Get her food. Everyone likes food.” That was usually her choice in gifts, actually, but for the holidays she liked it to be special. She was learning about these things now. ”How about Papa?” She already knew what she was getting the man, but told Rafael some kitchen stuff would be good. It passed with more underhanded comments from the boy until she could escape from him, back outside. There was a light snow, and she looked down at the bags in her hands. Instead of going back to her car, she decided to walk to clear her mind a bit. It was full as of late, her brain rattling around in her head. It didn’t take long before she saw a few homeless people gathered around a trashcan bonfire that reminded her of back home. A smile lit her face and she approached it, holding her hands out to the flames burning it. There was strange comfort in this gathering, and she needed it. She didn’t know how long she could last from now on.