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Post by NELL DOE DALE on Dec 13, 2011 20:27:35 GMT -5
Nell hated being lonely. It was actually something she feared. Not that she’d tell her therapist that. She propped her legs up on the back of the couch, lying upside down so that she saw his dress shirt and tie in reverse. She had heard of the stereotype that therapists all wore ugly sweater vests. Dr. Warren was always quite spiffy, in her opinion. ”Was it lonely then?” Her eyes met his, and she gave a nonchalant shrug, her lips twitching into a smile. She wondered if he noticed it yet, noticed how she was always smiling even when it wasn’t the right time. ”Of course.” And it was one of those rare instances of her opening up to him, as close to her inner world as he ever got. It was always lonely, with her mother. Even when she went to the library, she kept a distance. “The world is a dangerous place, Tilly.” Even though the words hadn’t been for her, she heeded them. And everytime she laid in bed, curled up in a ball, she thought of how lonely her entire existence was.
Despite the impression she might have given to him, she didn’t hate the gentleman now writing something on his yellow notepad. Not at all. He was courteous, and it was only his job to pry. She liked the way he didn’t ask her to sit upright, offered her candy, the way he was always professional. It made the situation only slightly better, the fact that he didn’t pretend with her, only when he forced those smiles. She wanted to tell him to stop and that it was okay not to try and make her feel comfortable that way, but she believed it would have been rather rude. ”Do you feel lonely now?” Dr. Warren asked, and she felt less comfortable with that question. He dug too deep and hit too many places. She shrugged again, wondering how the gesture must have looked to him as she was upside-down. ”Sometimes.” Another short reply, this time moer guarded, easier to hide behind. Nell felt lonely a lot now. It was a scary thing. Her thoughts no longer felt safe, and the fact that she had to deal with it on her own made her feel lonely again. The fact that so many people were against her now, wondering about her, curious—that made her feel even lonelier. Her life had become very lonely, something she’d never really considered until he actuall said it.
He nodded, wrote some more stuff down. ”What do you write?” She questioned curiously, tilting her head awkardly. ”My grocery list,” he responded without missing a beat, and she laughed. That day she discovered that he had a sense of humor. ”So, why do you think you feel lonely?” These questions, they were what she hated, not Dr. Warren. She didn’t like thinking about herself, especially now that she was doing it all too often. ”Probably because my therapist is writing a grocery list instead of paying attention to me,” he tone was joking, an easy volley back into his court. Surprisingly, he didn’t question anymore about that. Instead, he went to a different subject—or maybe it was similar in his head. ”What do you feel about how…famous you’ve become?” She snorted. Famous. That was one way to put it. With a grin, she said, ”I feel like Hester Prynne. But my scarlet letter is an ‘M’ for murderer. Or matricide.” Even though her tone was airy again, she was serious. She could relate to her all too well now. She felt outcasted and shunned, but she believed Hester was stronger than her. She didn’t succumb, didn’t care about what society thought.
Apparently, her therapist enjoyed the analogy for it was the first time she believed she ever saw an honest smile on his features. ”It’ll get better. People forget.” Yeah, but I don’t. Their session was nearing a close, and she shook hands with him before she left. Outside, the termperature was a lot less pleasant, and so she turned up Gwen’s heat, wondering when she was getting a new car. But there were a lot of other new things she needed to get—a new apartment, a new job, everything needed to be taken care of. She went to Timmies to get herself a coffee, one of the only things she could consume as of late, before decided to walk from there and see what she could find. When she was in a good mindset, she would remind herself that staying out would be best, instead of returning home to curl up and sleep.
She walked down the streets, taking sips at her coffee, until she came across a man playing the saxaphone outside of a park. This made her grin brightly. Now that is something that reminded her of New York. She tossed her change from Timmies into his opened case, and sat down on the bench next to him, listening as she sipped at her tea and tamed strands of her hair when the wind blew them up. She wanted to talk with the man, but she new he simply wanted to play his music. It wasn’t perfect, but to her ears, the sound of the instrument under his fingers was lovely.
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Post by KAI LEE JACKSON on Dec 15, 2011 18:25:09 GMT -5
There was a slight chill in the air, it certainly wasn’t pleasant at least, but it was dry and wasn’t raining so it was bearable. Most people, however, roamed by; busy, preoccupied or completely unaware of the world around them. People didn’t really care in general these days. People had become rather self-centred, went on their way and didn’t give two coins about what happened around them nor did they even stop to consider. One track mind, that’s what it was. Completely and ultimately focused on only one destination ahead of them, it was a race track with only a start and an end, a sprint to the finish line. Kai, on the other hand, quite liked to drift in the inbetween, the middle ground, that place where people roamed by, paying little attention at the most of times, and spend his time under the radar. It was how he liked it, it was comforting I suppose, for someone who had crazy trust issues it was a secure place to be. The blonde individual was a strange one, an outcast some may say – a self imposed one – but this way he never needed to worry about being betrayed, because there weren’t enough people to betray him. He wasn’t a complete loner though, he did have a few friends; and by that it was certainly only ‘few’, but who needed a mass of so called ‘friends’ who would as soon turn their back on you when a new fad or interest came along. No, Kai didn’t need nor want that in his life, what he had now, he was somewhat content...almost...regardless, he pretended he was and to the busy passersby in the world, that was all that mattered.
The air was cool but it didn’t bother him, he liked the outdoors, it was refreshing, like that feeling of calm after a storm, that fresh sharp scent that infected the air of the aftermath. As a light wind blew past him, ruffling disruption through his messed, unkempt hair, he moved a hand from an open novel to pull a neutral coloured cardigan warmly around him. His hand returned to his lap without so much as a thought, eyes never leaving the printed text of the page. Comfortably sitting crossed legged upon a park bench, his mind focused on the words flowing across each page, their simplicity sparking so much intention and truth. Even in the most surreal or supernatural tales there spoke truth of the world or human behaviour, for that they were often all the more endearing for their cryptic games. And then, who was to say they were completely off mark on humanity? There was more out there than people ever cared to see, at least most people. There were so many forces in the world that many would see if they only looked and Kai was one of the minority who was aware of everything. Sometimes he liked that concept, being different, powerful...and others he was indecisive of what he truly wanted. But that couldn’t be changed and he had what he had, this was where he was for now, until anything changed, and deniably to him, he would be the only one who could change anything about his own life.
Regardless, for now, he sat crossed legged on the park bench, novel resting against his knees, one hand holding the page open while the other traced the words on occasion as his dark eyes flitted across the story. Nearby, by the bench beside him, the music of a saxophone sounded, a man baring his emotions to the world through his music while introverted Kai hunched his shoulders slightly, keeping his emotions locked tightly up in himself. Protected. The man didn’t bother him though, it was a slice through the silence of the street, a veil to drown out the murmurings of pointless and shallow conversations that Kai had little interest in hearing or being enforced upon him with their loud and heavy voices, complaining of relationships that were never going to last anyways or what dress to wear tonight or why they were having chicken for dinner tonight...again. The saxophone drowned everything out and for that Kai was grateful as he sat comfortably in a world of his own.
A figure passed in the corner of Kai’s dark eyes, tossing some loose change into the musician’s open case, but he paid little attention, it wasn’t unusual after all. Natural instinct felt the presence stop and sit down upon the bench beside the one he currently sat upon, side by side. Slowly, dark eyes unfocused from the printed text and tilted up slightly, though his head stayed low. Adjusting to moving life ahead of him, he turned his gaze to the side slightly...a moment later his head turned to follow. A girl sat on the bench beside him, seemingly content and amused by the music playing. Kai’s eyes lingered on her longer than a stranger’s should and he quickly looked away again, focus drawn back onto his book. She looked familiar. The girl did, familiar, something about her was familiar. The academy? College? He thought silently with his eyes upon the unfocused words of his book. Somewhere else? Where else though? The news? Town? Her face was somewhat familiar he thought. For all the attention he paid to most people around here, it wasn’t a shock he couldn’t place her. He’d attended school here for years, lived on site for years and he probably still couldn’t tell you most of the people in his year. Being a freshman he was trying to change that this year...maybe, he had that idea but whether that panned out was a different matter altogether. Eyes started on the pages but he wanted another look. Slowly he looked over to his shoulder again, eyes stopping on the cheerful looking brunette.
WORDS! 976
TAGS! Nell
NOTES!
INSPIRATION! Kavinsky - Nightcall
CREDITS! Template Byarro @ Caution!
LYRICS! Colorado Sunrise by 3OH!3
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Post by NELL DOE DALE on Dec 15, 2011 19:55:46 GMT -5
Nell was well aware of the boy next to her, even though she didn’t speak to him. That was because she recognized him as a peer. She had a decent memory, and sometimes faces stuck. His did. She knew he was a Thunder, but that was about as much as she could recall. That information made her nervous. After the war that had her a target of the element’s wrath thanks to false accusations of her killing their leader, she’d made sure to keep her distance. When she was a greenhorn in first coming to the Academy, she probably wouldn’t have been so wary. She was rather naïve, which was probably why she didn’t mind accepting help from a Fire graduate who would turn out to be her boyfriend. However, she learned quickly enough that the alliance system was to be heeded, that it would cost you to tip the balance. Josh had learned that the hard way, in aligning himself with the Water and Earths. She still felt guilty—as always—even though it had been his decision to make.
Her silence was partly because she was debating on whether or not to strike up conversation. She as friendly by default, so it took great effort to keep her mouth shut. Plus, they weren’t at the Academy right now. Maybe he wouldn’t be so inclined to hate her guts. Then again, maybe he knows about me. She held out hope that since he didn’t move away or question her that he didn’t know of the fact she’d killed her mother. She liked it when she could keep her secrets from strangers. Nell decided that sitting next to him on a bench, it would seem very impolite of her not to start up conversation. It’ll be like talking to your father, he’s a Thunder. That actually didn’t make it easier, since she was currently not speaking to the man, and plus he wasn’t the nicest people around. The Fuentes half of her family were all Thunder, and all pretty much assholes. She finally decided to turn and say, ”Hey.” She had caught his eye, which gave her the feeling that he’d been looking at her before, but she easily brushed that off. In her head, the thoughts of whether or not to tell him she knew him from school mixed in with the melody of the saxophone. Would it make it worse? Of course, it was dangerous to talk about the Academy outside, but she could just say school and have people be none-the-wiser. Maybe it would be better to just leave it at that.
She was good with conversation and never nervous—save for when she was speaking to a Thunder elemental. Even now, she didn’t show it. She was expert at hiding everything. No one had even took notice of the depression. ”What book are you reading?” she question, using the finger holding her coffee cup to point at the book in his lap. She had been a rather prolific reader in her childhood, and she even read now. Her extended time spent in the public library back in the Bronx helped her build up a rather impressive repertoire. Swallowing down another gulp of coffee and listening to a few more notes of the saxophone man, she smiled and said, ”I’m Nell, if you care to know who you’re talking to.” She said it lightly, as she always spoke, even though she was rather nervous to give out her name nowadays. Did he already know who she was? Was he examining her, digging into her like her grandfather at the trial? ”Do you like the saxophone?” she said softly. She loved most instruments, and hoped that it wasn’t because music ran in her blood. She didn’t want to be like the musically inclined Sinclairs, even though she had a penchant for opera and a love for most other kinds of music.
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Post by KAI LEE JACKSON on Dec 18, 2011 18:49:47 GMT -5
“Hey” the friendly face voiced. Her eyes met his and he instinctively turned his gaze down for a moment before looking back to her. Great, so now he looked like some crazy freak sitting staring at her, yes, that was what he had been doing but not because he was some stalker or lunatic or mentally challenged or something that may actually give reason to his actions, he really didn’t have an excuse nor was he really the type to give one at the best of times. All he was, was just...well, a random guy staring at a chipper looking girl on a park bench. He wondered what made her seem to be so happy looking; clearly it was a good day for her? The situation, sitting on a park bench, stealing a glance at a young woman who looked like a kid on Christmas eve; that wasn’t all too weird, right? Kai shook the thoughts away quickly before he let his mind dwell on what wasn’t even slightly important. She looked about his age now he came to notice, give or take a year or two here or there maybe? It must have been school he’d seen her face he concluded but nonetheless he wasn’t about to turn and say to her, ‘hey, i’m Kai, introverted thunder guy at school, probably haven’t noticed me before, nice to meet you!’... Yeah, that would totally go down a treat if he was wrong, if she had no idea about the academy and then he really would just look like a strange weirdo escaped from the nearest loonie bin. Come to think on it, he’d been referred to as worse over the years.
It was during a lingering pause that he finally only registered that the girl had acknowledged him and he responded with an almost startled, “Hm?”, breaking back into the real world at the sound of her questioning voice, “oh”, welcome back to Earth Kai, replying to her question by lifting the paperback up for her to see, a slight judgemental twitch tugging at the left corner of his mouth, eyebrows somewhat questioning but not really looking for an answer, “Judgement of the misunderstood” a low pitch commented with a shrug, the classic tale of Bram Stoker’s ‘Dracula’ scrolled across the cover. He liked literature, the classics, he wasn’t ashamed; didn’t really care what others thought to be honest. He liked the darker tales, the gothic and almost haunting stories that echoed how he often felt at times; alone and misunderstood. It may just be a book, a piece of fiction, but sometimes it was simple things that brought comfort from the strangest places. Kai fell silent again, just watching the girl as she sat contented with her coffee cup. Contentment, it was a nice emotion to feel.
”I’m Nell, if you care to know who you’re talking to.”
Without even thinking he responded, “I don’t.” A pause. A brief moment of silence passed before he felt the desire to explain himself a little, not having wanted to offend the stranger and ruin her cheerful day. Kai had enough going on in his head at times, last thing he wanted was the bad karma of ruining the pretty brunette’s smile. “A name’s just a name...” he considered his reply with a small, slow shrug, “Kai” despite his comment he contradicted his own words by giving his own name. It was politeness, general chit chat, one person gave something and the other responded, it was natural behaviour, just expected these days too and anyways, what was the harm? The friendly Nell enquired further, a chatty one she was, confident and relaxed, or so she seemed at least. Kai took a moment to think before speaking, “I like the atmosphere it creates” his low voice replied truthfully to her question, his words remained controlled and ever so slightly slower than the norm, but there was no rush today, “draws a veil over the reality, just zone out” an escape, music was effective in that respect, it could take you away from troubles, if even just for a moment. “Suppose it’s maybe a way of expressing how he feels, or maybe he just does it for the tips off of easily sucked in girls like you” his words quickened slightly, a joking remark made to the stranger and he almost cared to hope she had a sense of humour. Just in case he smirked slightly at her, his eyes shining no disrespect; his words may have sounded harsh but they were neither said nor intended with any disrespect or mocking. “Do you?” he asked while still watching her, “Like the saxophone I mean?”
WORDS! 780
TAGS! Nell
NOTES!
INSPIRATION! Kavinsky - Nightcall
CREDITS! Template Byarro @ Caution!
LYRICS! Colorado Sunrise by 3OH!3
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Post by NELL DOE DALE on Dec 18, 2011 20:14:21 GMT -5
Nell wasn’t particularly bothered by the staring. It took quite a bit to bother her, and she didn’t assume that the guy had any foul intent. Though she did have to wonder why he’d been staring. Is there something…on my face? She resisted checking, just in case it’d make it awkward. Well, it was already pretty awkward on her part, what with the information she was currently mulling over. I guess he doesn’t recognize me. She couldn’t tell just yet, but that’s what she was thinking. Nell waited patiently, giving the guy time if he wanted to respond. If he didn’t, she’d just leave him alone. She liked to talk to people, but she didn’t like to be annoying. He finally did reply, and she read the title, her eyes lighting up. ”Ahh,” she said, but making no further comment. She’d read the book before, and she had to say she enjoyed it. It was hard for her not to enjoy a book. ”So you’re a reader?” Nell thought of her boyfriend, and his love for books. She also enjoyed reading—otherwise, she wouldn’t have chose English and Literature as her major—but a lot of the time she liked to go out and play. Her sister had been the one who’d gotten her into reading, because she’d been going through medical references to save her.
Nell raised her eyebrows, but chuckled at his answer. As usual, she wasn’t easily put off by others’ demeanors. She would have left him alone then, since she assumed that is what he wanted, before he continued. The girl wrinkled her nose before she said, ”Now I don’t know. A name’s a part of your identity.” She guessed he was right in one way. She easily changed her ‘Sinclair Fuentes’ to ‘Shepherd’, for self-preservation and detachment from a family she didn’t want to be a part of. But there was some meaning behind the name she chose—it was her favorite food, shepherd’s pie. As for her first and middle name, it was a connection between her and her sister. She realized that she shouldn’t be thinking so deeply into such an inane comment, so she went on to say, ”It’s nice to meet ya, Kai.” His name did ring a bell, and she tried to think if they had classes together or anything like that. Her memory was fogging over, however, and it was still early too early in the year to recognize everyone, even though she may try.
Nell listened to the boy’s quiet voice, looking over at the man and his instrument in question. She could understand, she supposed. Laughing lightly at his finishing statement, she said, ”Oh, I see…judgment of the misunderstood. I guess we can’t know.” She said this easily, as usually she didn’t make too serious statements. She was light-hearted in everything she did. Except when it called for seriousness—she knew when to quit the joking. Her turned the question on her and she paused to sip at the coffee. ”I like every instrument,” she said honestly, the smiling fluttering back onto her lips. ”The saxophone makes me wish I could go to a twenties jazz club. Actually, they still do exist.” She knew thanks to the fact that her aunt was a jazz and blues musician. She played the piano, though Nell had never heard it for herself, she was apparently very respected for her music. Nell almost rolled her eyes at the thought. Jane didn’t deserve respect in her opinion, and she wondered how many people in jail knew of her. Probably has some connections in there, she thought disdainfully. "Since it seems you're one for reading, how about the other arts? Like music."
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