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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Nov 7, 2011 23:34:53 GMT -5
Elemental studies had gone pretty well that morning. Joshua had managed to pull off an impressive block against a Water elemental in his grade and they'd both gotten full marks from the professor for their technique. Normally he would have completely ignored the other boy after that but as classes concluded the Water grinned at him. "Nice one," he said, nodding his approval. Josh thanked him with more ease than he would have done in the last month before this war had started, growing accustomed to the fact that he was no longer their enemy. He didn't have to fear from those that commanded the powers of the lakes and oceans because they were allies, now. The other boy got hailed by a group of his friends and bid Josh farewell, jogging up the path that led back to the school. They'd held classes outside today--normally this would have been nice, but as it was freezing it left a good deal of the students in a bad mood and hampered the powers of the Fire and Earth elementals. Still pulled it off, though, he thought smugly. On the downside it had drained more energy than was usual.
This would not have been a problem if he had made it back to the school without conflict. The war would not allow this to happen. A junior in college of the Thunder element happened to catch sight of him when he was leaving the building and he seemed to change his mind about where he was going. "Hey, traitor!" he sneered. "Off to frolic with the flower children?" Joshua shook his head and scoffed to himself. He was used to being called soft because of his affiliation with the Earths, it didn't bother him a whole lot. Whatever, he thought. His opponent was not done, however. "Say hi to your girlfriend for me," he went on. "Tell me, Dale, how much did you have to pay her to get her to sleep with you?" This implied two things--one, that his girlfriend was a whore, and two, that he was the type that would utilize such services. Neither of these things were alright with him and both got his attention. Turning around, he shot the boy a threatening glare. "Watch what you're saying," he said, not raising his voice. He didn't have to, it had enough affect with the glare alone. The Thunder responded to this by pulling a Zeus and making a sort of 'throwing' motion that resulted in a flash of electricity and a great deal of pain a moment later. Stunned by the brightness he was unable to dodge the hit, cursing in pain and staggering backward.
Thank god for resistance, he thought as he was able to recover quickly enough. If he'd been Water that shock would have paralyzed him and even a Wind would have felt it a little more. His natural strength over the guy normally would have helped him a lot in a fight but he was weakened from the classes. That was the downside of elemental studies. Nevertheless, Josh was not someone that backed down or accepted defeat. He countered the next shockwave with a burst of fire and a wash over intense heat over the area, intending to burn. Still, even as he continued with a barrage of attacks, Josh was definitely on the losing end of the fight. He was panting and readying himself for another difficult block when a vine shot up from the ground and curled around his opponents leg, tripping him to the ground and then tethering him there. "I'll hold him off," the Earth graduate frowned. "You should go and get that looked at." He gestured to the burn on the side of Josh's neck. Though Joshua was glad to get out of the fray for a while, it was not the medical wing he went to. No, Joshua Dale was too proud for that. Instead he found an empty classroom and ducked inside of it. He usually used the quiet place for studying but it worked as a place he was less likely to be found, too. He wasn't hiding. No, he'd go back out as soon as he'd caught his breath. It was reckless to continue fighting like this but Josh had a fighting spirit. He couldn't just take a hit lying down.
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Post by mole on Nov 8, 2011 19:44:24 GMT -5
Things had changed a great deal since the wars beginning. As they always tended to do. As a wind elemental, Aaron was accustomed to being at odds with both sides in situations like these. It was both a blessing and a curse that the wind elementals tended to abstain from choosing sides in the petty squabbles of the other elements. However, Wind had never been asked to formerly choose a side before. So, even though he was used to some animosity from both sides, neither had ever actually sought him out specifically as a target. Now however, wind was split down the middle exactly. There would be no doubts about who was on which side this time. The fires, Thunders, and even some of his own Wind kin, would be seeking him out for a fight. The thought of violence struck terror and disgust in the wind graduate's heart. For the first time in a long time, he was genuinely afraid. AJ couldn't simply abstain from conflict anymore.
Which led to Aaron's current location. In an empty classroom, he sat huddled in a dark corner. Well away from the windows, AJ hid from the watchful eyes of his now 'enemies.' He looked down at his tattered hoodie with wide eyes. The stitching was burned and frayed where they'd seared it with flame and bolt. Hugging his arm's tight around the evidence, the Elemental waited for them to find him. He almost felt like crying, but the windows were open and he feared they would hear him. Whether they were still out there or not, AJ didn't know. He simply assumed they were. Leaning back, Aaron slid down the wall slowly, drawing his knees up to his chest as he did. Lowering his head onto his knees, Aaron relived his confrontation. The moment that sealed it for him that he couldn't live peacefully until this war was finished.
He'd just left English class. It was one of the requirements for his major. He figured he'd loved books all his life, maybe he'd try his hand as an author when he left the academy. His elemental studies classes weren't for a few hours yet so he'd decided to go for a walk and have some time for himself. A Fire decided otherwise it seems. He was headed for a spot he enjoyed when an abrasive voice called out to him. "Hey queer! Where are you off too?" The voice was accompanied by a prickling sensation as the hairs on his neck stood up, and a roar of flames seared past. Aaron knew before he turned around it was a Fire calling to him, and judging by the heat he felt in the air, this man definitely wasn't here just to insult or scare him. "Off to meet with your boyfriend?" The elemental sneered, another flame in hand. Glancing around, AJ couldn't find any help. It was just him and the Fire.
The Fire was just a junior, but that didn't mean much. AJ wasn't a fighter, and Fire elementals were notoriously quick to battle. As his 'enemy' approached, slinging flames for effect, Aaron panicked. Calling a gale from the trees beside them, AJ blew the leaves from the branches. Using the wind-carried leaves as a smokescreen, AJ did the first thing that came to his mind. He ran. Now here he was in this empty classroom, waiting for his enemies to find him. With his face buried in his hoodie, which now smelled charred, Aaron suppressed sobs of fear and self disgust. He was a senior, graduate wind elemental, and he'd run from some junior. His father was right, he would never be a real man. He was a coward. Amidst his fear and self hatred, Aaron felt a breeze as the door to his hiding place slammed open and another elemental ran in. The smell of smoke assailed his nostrils, and AJ panicked. Assuming the fire elemental had come to finish the job. Hugging himself more tightly, he commanded a sudden gale to enter through the open windows, sending the empty desks flying across the room and toward the figure at the door. Only too late, did he notice he recognized this fire. The gale died instantly, allowing the desks to clatter to the floor just short of Joshua Dale.
720 :Words
Aaron almost smashed josh >.> :Notes |
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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Nov 8, 2011 22:13:25 GMT -5
Joshua did not immediately notice that there was someone else in the room. He was absorbed in his own thoughts and mental wanderings whilst trying to block out as much of his pain and weakness as possible so Aaron's presence slipped under his radar. Slipped under it, that is, until the curtains flapped in the harsh gale and several desks were blown toward him. "Fuck!" cursed the Fire elemental rather loudly, jumping back to avoid being hit by any of them and reacting immediately with a wave of flames--he did not attack Aaron with them immediately, instead readying them for a blast. He did recognise the older elemental but that did not assuage any part of his hostility whatsoever. He did not trust other people by nature and he'd never really gotten to know the Wind very well. Being assaulted in a classroom, or at very least nearly assaulted, was not what he'd had on his agenda. The temperamental Fire knew that Aaron was older than he was but he also did not have it in him to care at the moment. You didn't attack him and get away with it, you just didn't.
They, the gang, they'd spent a great deal of their time trying to push him around and make him live in fear. The people whom he'd once trusted and called his friends had turned on him, causing the very scar on his face that had made Josh snap at Aaron during their original encounter. That had been a long time ago, several months ago. I wasn't even with Nell, he recalled. Damn, that must have been ages ago. He'd been with his girlfriend for half a year now. So the fact that he'd shared conversation with this man in the past meant absolutely nothing to him now. His anger was sparked and despite the marks on the side of his neck and the overall pain he was in from the previous fight it was clear that he'd get into another altercation if he had to. He did not realise that Aaron was not a fighter, didn't know that it had merely been a misunderstanding. If Aaron would have spoken up and tried to explain what had happened then maybe he could have held off the use of the flames for a little while, long enough to calm the temperamental boy down and stop him from trying to turn this into a fight. No such luck.
In fact, Aaron's silence only served to spur Joshua's anger on even more. It was like messing with a bees hive. If you poked it they'd swarm you but if you didn't get the hell out of there right after antagonising them you'd be in a hell of a lot more trouble. The only thing stopping the volatile Fire from attacking right then and there was the fact that he was trying to get a good point from which to aim without being slammed into the wall by a barrage of desks. Speaking of the desks... "Was that a threat?" he hissed, gesturing to the cluster of things grouped around him with obvious frustration. He didn't like the idea of someone demonstrating their power as if to make him feel lesser or afraid. Of course that was not what Aaron was trying to do but Josh was too infuriated to realise this. "Bit of a cowardly thing to do, isn't it, making threats? Did your new allies teach you how to fight?" The fact that Aaron had attacked him made Joshua assume (incorrectly, of course) that he was on the side of Fire and Thunder.
He did not realise that Aaron probably didn't know about Nell, either. As a Wind elemental the older boy had the option of staying out of the inter-elemental drama and thus would have been able to go about his schedule without hearing about the relationship between an Earth and Fire student. It was the Fires and Thunders who'd made a big deal about Josh betraying them. Aaron might have just assumed that Josh was on the other side. He didn't take any of this into account. All he cared about was the fact that the attack had made him feel very threatened and he was not alright with that. "I used to be on their side, too," he said fiercely. "I can show you a real fight." He readied the blast of fire as if to attack, though there was still enough time for Aaron to get a word in if he wanted to.
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Post by mole on Nov 8, 2011 23:40:30 GMT -5
Aaron cursed himself for panicking. He had been too late to stop the desks, and too quick to throw them in the first place. He should have waited to see who it was before blindly lashing out. Now Josh was, to put it mildly, less than pleased. Never moving from his huddled position in the corner, Aaron watched the sudden eruption of flames to ward off his projectiles. Then Josh looked to be readying the flames against him. Cowering in the corner, Aaron held up his arms in an ineffectual fashion to hold off the coming attack as he cried out against the Fire elemental's angry words. "Wait.. i didn't mean it." His voice was choked with sobs as tears ran down his cheeks. Why was it every time he met Josh he did something to piss him off? "I'm sorry." He stood slowly, holding his arms out to show he didn't mean harm.
"I thought you were someone else." He sniffled and wiped the tears from his eyes with the charred sleeve of his hoodie. "I thought you were that other fire elemental coming to finish me off." Standing as he was, Josh would certainly be able to see the burn marks covering Aaron's person. Today had to be by far, one of the worst days of Aaron's life. Including the day he came out to his friends. Wiping the fresh tears from his eyes again, Aaron looked up at Josh and gave a weak smile. "I suppose i haven't gotten any better at judging people when i first see them." Hugging his arms across himself once again, Aaron stayed against the wall. Even though he'd apologized, AJ still wasn't entirely sure Josh wouldn't still roast him anyway. He actually wouldn't blame the fire elemental if he did. Although, Aaron couldn't help but wonder what Josh was doing in this empty classroom anyway.
That was, until he took notice of the burn wound on his neck. Josh was hiding from another elemental too? That didn't seem like his style. Biting his lip nervously, Aaron did his best to stem the flow of tears. He was overemotional as it was, and it was starting to make him feel a little embarrassed. AJ hated to have breakdowns in front of other people. Frowning in a combination of embarrassment and fear, Aaron continued to vie for the younger mans mercy and forgiveness. "I'm not in league with you're enemies.." His eyes began watering again at the idea. "They haven't taught me anything but how to get my ass kicked by them." He slid down the wall again and layed his head on his arms. "I don't want a real fight... I don't want to fight anyone." His voice was slightly muffled through the cloth. "Least of all you. We're supposed to be on the same side." Aaron shuddered in fear. After all, this was the first time in many years that anyone had seriously attacked him.
495 :words
Aaron is a baby <.< :Note |
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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Nov 9, 2011 0:25:32 GMT -5
There were not many ways that you could startle Joshua out of an attack. Honestly, once he'd decided that you were the enemy and that he was going to toast you with his powers his mind was pretty much made up no matter who you were. He was stubborn and violent and he did not like to back down from a fight no matter how outmatched he was. Aaron could have been a Jane all over again, he wouldn't have cared. Until he saw the tears. It startled him so much that the angered conviction behind the attack actually faltered and the flames flickered uncertainly in the air. Is that... is he... crying? Joshua did not know what to do about that, blinking at his opponent, evidently baffled. He had never been good with emotions and crying, not even when the tears were those of a friend. Around someone that he loved like family or his closest friends he got flustered and tried to help but when someone he barely knew and whom he'd thought was trying to assault him moments ago started crying it was like a slap across the face. Were they crocodile tears? The Fire was still intensely wary considering he'd had people catch him off guard and attack him before. He didn't like being tricked and manipulated so he was ever suspicious.
"Other...?" The words died on his lips as he focused a little more on the other boy and noticed the burn marks. It would have been cordial and polite to have accepted his mistakes right then and there, apologise like Aaron had. Joshua was not cordial. He didn't do the 'I'm sorry' thing. At very least he flicked his left wrist and the flames vanished, leaving behind a sort of heat in their wake. It was not too uncomfortable, or it wouldn't be to someone as far away in the room as Aaron was. Joshua still wasn't entirely sure whether or not he should be trusting this guy but his strength was already drained from the fight on the grounds and he didn't want to sap it more by the concentration it took to keep the fire hovering unchanging in the air as it had been. "Oh." That was it. No apology, no nothing. He did not doubt that Aaron had been attacked now that he could see the burns but it didn't change much about Josh's personality. He was a proud guy, a stubborn guy. Defeat was a word that was only included in his vocabulary very grudgingly and it was not so that he could admit it to other people. Hell no.
Same side? "You're with Water and Earth?" he said, his tone still rough. Now it was less threatening, merely suffering from the after-effects of his temperament. It took a long time for Josh to really calm down even if he did abandon the urge to fight. Jumping into every situation with violence was a quality of his element. He acknowledged that he was a lot like them in many ways. Heck, he and Aaron probably wouldn't have been on the same side if not for people like Nell and Devin. Nell especially. If he hadn't a girlfriend to protect Joshua probably would have sided with his own people and just tried to avoid everyone he didn't hate in the opposing element. He wouldn't have spoke to them at school. But they were on the same side and so he was no longer going to threaten his... ally. Hmph. He was still a little bitter about being attacked but there was nothing he could do about it now. "I guess we are," he said shortly. "On the same side."
[He's such a grouch xD He'll relax... eventually...]
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Post by mole on Nov 11, 2011 19:09:42 GMT -5
Sitting with his knees drawn up to his chest, Aaron watched as slow comprehension dawned over Josh. His response to Aaron's frantic words was less than cordial, but AJ was just happy that he had calmed down a little. There was still an air of irritation, but at least the threat of imminent roasting was gone. Wiping the last remnants of tears from his red-rimmed eyes, the graduate wind elemental decided that he would stand and have a proper discussion with his newfound ally. After all, nothing was ever accomplished by crying in a corner, even if it did make him feel better. Besides, Josh didn't seem like the type that excelled at handling emotional reactions. Aaron didn't know him that well, but he could tell that much at least. Bracing himself with a hand on his knee, Aaron rose slowly to a stand. Folding his arms across his body, he flashed a weak, half-smile in Josh's direction.
"Interesting day." His voice was small and shaky. He cleared his throat in embarrassment before continuing. "I almost get killed and then attack an ally out of panic." Throwing another apologetic glance in Josh's direction, Aaron suddenly remembered an earlier thought he'd had. It had fled his mind in his earlier, hyper-emotional state. His expression shifting to show his inner curiosity, Aaron voiced his thought as politely as he could. Past experience told him that he should tread carefully when addressing Josh. Although, Josh might just get irritated by the thought that Aaron might be prying into his business. Nevertheless, Aaron felt silence would just make things awkward in the destroyed classroom. "What made you rush in here anyway?" His voice had regained it's usual volume, but not quite all of its usual air of calm. "There haven't been any classes in this room for months."
Frowning thoughtfully, Aaron's eye's flicked for a moment to the scorch mark on Josh's neck. It implied he'd been in a fight too, but Aaron didn't want to ask if the Fire elemental had run in here to hide. It seemed the logical conclusion, but AJ knew that if he phrased it that way it would make Josh look like a coward. At least, it would make him look like a coward in his own eyes. Even with his limited knowledge of the younger man, Aaron knew enough to rethink how he would phrase that thought. If, that is, he decided to voice it at all. Deciding against mentioning it directly, AJ decided to keep his thoughts about the mark too himself. He would, however, still address it. Gesturing vaguely at Josh's neck from across the room, Aaron's frown shifted to one of concern. "Does that hurt much?" His brow furrowed as he rummaged in his jacket pockets. On days when he had elemental studies, AJ usually kept a tube of aloe on his person for mild burns. However, today his pockets were empty. He sighed at this.
492 :Words
Hurray small talk. :Note |
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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Nov 11, 2011 23:58:33 GMT -5
Aaron ignored his request for confirmation but Joshua merely brushed this off in his mind, not really caring. Obviously the guy was on his side or he'd be trying to attack him again, not that he hadn't done a brilliant job of that when Josh had walked in the door. If my reflexes had been off and those had hit me I wouldn't have cared whose side he was on. If you provoked the Fire with violence then violence is what you would receive in return. In their first encounter Josh hadn't so much been cruel as a little sarcastic and touchy about the scar issue but wasn't that to be expected? He hated it when people stared at the marks, knowing that they were probably wondering how they'd happened. People made the wrong assumptions about his personality and demeanour and then ended up hating him before they even got to know him. He could be decent if given a chance, really, it was just that most people wouldn't put up with his personality for long enough to do that. "Almost killed?" he said, doubtfully and almost with a scathing hint to his voice. He was sensitive to matters about near-death experiences because he had been in one before. "You don't look half-dead to me," he said with a frown.
As it had not been obvious that he was coming in here to get away from anyone, Josh had no qualms with lying to Aaron. He hadn't been hiding, merely avoiding a worse fight when the Thunder summoned his mates over from a different part of the yard. The Fire was proud, though, and would not go through the troubles of explaining all of this to someone else. Especially not when that someone else, regardless of how accidental it had been, had just gotten done attacking him. "I wasn't rushing," he scoffed. "and that's the point -- it's a disused room, I figured I would be alone." Though he was getting used to company--the Earth students were friendly--that did not mean he was always up to share his space with others. If he had known that Aaron was going to be in here Josh would likely not have entered the room at all. He just had to calm down from the exhilaration of the fight and also convince himself not to go back out there. Though not a vindictive Thunder, Josh hated to leave in the middle of a fight. He knew he wasn't strong enough to take the bastard on after classes but that didn't stop him from wanting to.
His mind had not been on the burn but it went back to it as the Wind graduate indicated it. No shit, Sherlock, he thought in his head with dripping sarcasm. "No," he lied just as easily as before. He was never honest about himself and thus lying was natural. It was almost an instinctual thing to do now--if someone asked how he was doing he'd reply that he was 'fine' no matter what his actual state of health was. He did not care for letting someone he barely knew in on the fact that he was hurt, even he was. "Why didn't you fight back against the guys that attacked you?" he said. This might have seemed a friendly and innocent enough question until he added, "You certainly seemed more than willing to attack me." Alright, so perhaps Josh was still a tad bitter. He could calm down with time but his temper was not something that vanished immediately at the drop of a hat.
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Post by mole on Nov 16, 2011 21:15:50 GMT -5
Listening to the fire's responses caused Aaron's face to contort into a slight half frown. He had patience enough for people that he liked, but this attitude was beginning to wear on his usual good nature. As he'd been forcing small talk, AJ hadn't paused to respond individually to each of Josh's remarks. However, that didn't stop his mind from reacting with an irritated sarcasm that surprised him now that he recognized it. 'Forgive me for not meeting you're expectations.' His mind growled in an aggravated tone to the Fire's initial comment on him not looking half dead. Frowning now, Aaron gave himself a mental shake. Now was not the time to be getting pissy. Josh had every right to be irritable with him. He'd almost been slammed with a pile of desks. AJ supposed that was enough to ruin anyone's day. Especially if they has already been in a fight moments ago.
Speaking of the fight, Josh denied it. Aaron of course had expected this. The fire didn't seem very trusting with any information about anything. Although, the burn mark on his neck made it obvious. Those didn't usually come from afternoon strolls in the park. All the same, Aaron Shrugged it off. Inside he was actually a little hurt. The way Josh had stressed figuring on being alone implied he didn't want Aaron there. Again, he was probably right. And again, he couldn't really blame the fire. However, there came a point when you were just harping on something to harp on it. Yeah Aaron had mistakenly attacked Josh, but the attack had been and accident, and no one had been injured. He'd even apologized. Several times. The graduate suppressed a sigh as Josh shrugged off the burn as nothing. He knew that was a lie. Burns always hurt. No matter how tough you were.
Still frowning thoughtfully, Aaron kept checking for his aloe. There was no way he left the dorm without it. Especially when he knew he was taking elemental studies today. Tsking silently, while still giving Josh most of his attention, Aaron checked his other pockets. After a few moments, he gave an almost inaudible cry of satisfaction. His hand closing around a tube in his jacket pocket. Beaming inside, Aaron withdrew the small package of astringent with an air of triumph. He was considering how best to present his small peace offering when Josh's next question invaded his little private victory. All senses of worry had left the Wind graduate by this point. After all, the threat of danger had been absent for some time now. He was back to his usual clam, and slightly air-headed, self. In spite of Josh's apparently aggressive tone.
Frowning at the slight accusation in the sophomore's tone, Aaron nodded slightly in acknowledgment of the question. Pausing for a moment to consider his answer, Aaron moved across the room and decided to lean against a desk next to where Josh had been standing this whole time. In his opinion, they'd been shouting across the room at each other for long enough. Folding his arms across his chest, Aaron gave a small shrug and averted his eyes from the Fire's. "I didn't fight back, because i don't fight." He frowned. That answer seemed stupid when he heard himself say it. It was circular logic. Not doing something because you don't do it? Shaking his head, he sighed. "What i mean is that i don't like violence. I don't see the point in using the powers we've been given to destroy and cause pain to one another." He spread his hands in a small gesture of apology. "My attacking you was a moment of panic, and a mistake." He smiled sadly and averted his eyes. "Even the gentlest animal will lash out when backed into a corner." Turning his gaze back to the younger Fire male, Aaron held out the tube with a casual air. "Here," he mumbled. "This should help with your neck."
664 :Words
Aaron is trying to make peace. Not war :Note |
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Post by JOSHUA DONOVAN DALE on Nov 18, 2011 3:21:07 GMT -5
Joshua neither knew nor cared what Aaron was looking for, focusing on himself more than the other graduate. He was an easily irritated person, true, and hard to calm down, but attacking him really was just going too far. The Fire elemental understood that it was an accident but that didn't help the fact that his anger was still working its way slowly down from the high point. This guy didn't seem like the type that could understand issues of anger. Joshua had been a complete jerk to him and he hadn't responded very angrily at all. It didn't mean there was no anger problems there, per say, just that they were better controlled than Josh's own if they were there. Then again, Aaron was not a Fire. Joshua had to remember that he no longer spent the majority of days around people just as touchy and volatile as he was. Not everyone in the world had anger issues just because he did. He was a tad self-absorbed on that point. He didn't think about the individual qualities of others until he had a reason to, didn't care enough about other people to do so. At least he didn't pretend to be a compassionate person.
Not fighting back was another thing that always baffled Joshua, though he had a little experience with passivity thanks to Nell. You couldn't date the Earth girl and not realise how absolutely kind-hearted she was. Aaron... well, Josh still wasn't sure about him. He no longer wanted to turn him into a Sunday barbecue but they weren't the best of friends, either. He didn't scoff or brush this off as weakness, though. He might not have been passive (not at all) but that didn't mean he could not accept when others were. Didn't mean he would be any less upset with they wronged him, didn't mean he'd take pity, but he'd acknowledge it within himself nonetheless. He didn't response verbally to this or even give so much as a nod. It wasn't until the sigh that Joshua focused his attention a little more, regarding the Wind with a frown. What? The clarification didn't really help. "Practice what you preach," he quoted almost dryly. The Wind went on to say that the attack had been a mistake and Josh considered this yet again. My attacking you wouldn't have been, he remarked quietly to himself. He did not let this little thought past the barriers of his thoughts. "Everyone makes mistakes," he shrugged at last.
Was it an acceptance of the (now numerous) apologies that Aaron had given? Perhaps, perhaps not. It was often had to tell what Joshua was thinking or feeling simply because he was not a person easily read. Being an open book and allowing his youthful vulnerability to sit on display had been the reason the gang were so easily able to take advantage of him. He didn't want that to happen all over again and so for the past for years he'd shut himself down. It made him colder to poor people like Aaron who was just trying to make amends but it also made him safer. He liked safe. He did not like accepting help, though, and so even though the burn was stinging in reminder of the fight he shook his head. "I told you, I'm fine." Always fine, he was always fine. He always had to be fine. Pride was a stupid thing but it never felt quite so stupid to those who suffered it. Admitting defeat to Aaron would have felt like knocking himself down a couple pegs and confessing to weakness. I'm not weaker than them. 'Them' being the Thunders whom his thoughts kept straying toward.
For a very brief moment, a thought flitted through his mind. Does he think I'm trying to be rude? It was more curious than worried. Joshua wasn't exactly empathetic or the kind of person to care what practical strangers thought. He wasn't refusing help in an attempt to be rude, however, he was refusing help because he always did. The only people allowed to see him weak were his family and Nell, who was practically a part of his family anyway. Even they only got to see it when he was feeling too tired to fight it back. "Maybe you should use it on yourself," he said, and there was an effort to keep any sort of coldness out of his tone. This was actually a genuine suggestion rather than a snide remark but if he didn't control his tone it might have sounded more like the latter than he intended. "I took one hit--" One that was visible, he'd taken more but he wasn't about to say it, "--and you've obviously taken several." It was true. Did Aaron have trouble helping himself, too, or was he just one of those self-sacrificing folk? Allergic to aloe, maybe? Planning to get it treated at the medical wing? Josh really had no idea.
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