-- OUT OF MY HANDS [Josh]

Joshua's expression was set into a fierce scowl as he hefted the racket in his hands, watching the ball with such an intensity that it was a miracle it didn't burst into flame. He could recall a few times that had happened in his childhood but thankfully his power control saved him today. With expert precision he drew back his hand and then brought it forward, racket and ball connecting with a loud crack! that echoed around the tennis court. The answering echo from the other side of the court was the first indication that his opponent had returned his shot. They went back and forth like this for several minutes, neither gaining ground over the other. Though Joshua was usually an amiable sport that could hold a conversation whilst playing a match of tennis, he did not speak now. Nor did his father as the man hit the ball toward him yet again. Josh's wrist hurt by now and his entire arm was starting to ache from the force of the blows but he did not complain, merely took a small step to the side and hit it back. He watched as it flew past Donovan and slammed into the back of the tennis cage, rolling back toward him and under the net, where Joshua stepped on it with his foot to stop it's path. "Ha," he said, a tad breathless from the intensity. "I win."

"This time," said Donovan. "You won't be so lucky the next." Then they both tossed their rackets down and relaxed as if they hadn't been trying to settle such a vicious score a moment ago. Rather than solving their arguments with violence, father and son had found tennis to be a rather valuable catalyst for winning a dispute. They went back to the house and sat in the kitchen, drinking water and looking back on the faults of the match with laughter. "How is school?" asked his father. "I'm managing, you know me." Donovan regarded him for a moment, then nodded. "And your job?" The older man had been one of the first Joshua had told when he'd been hired at the home. He'd been quite proud of himself for getting the position. "It's going well. It's tiring, but I like it. How's Mum?" They traded words like this for a while, an friendly discussion between family. Donovan asked after Nell and complimented Joshua on what he was doing with the house, insisting that his son show him the renovations in the attic and the progress he was making on the sun room. Then Josh's phone rang, distracting him from the situation at hand. "Mind if I...?"

"No, not at all."

It wasn't a call, after all, but a text. "Don't let me stop you," insisted Donovan when Joshua suggested that he answer and say that he was busy. "Go spend time with your friend. Besides, I have to leave for work soon." He wondered whether Donovan was telling the truth or lying to spare him any guilt for ditching their time together. All the same, he did wonder what Lark could want with him and so he nodded. "I'll see you... when?" He realised that he didn't know when he would next meet up with his father. They no longer shared residence and so it was only visits like these or the rare times they bumped into one another at the hospital when they spoke face to face. "Soon," Donovan promised, and Josh believed him. "I'll tell your mother you said hello." Patricia was tied up in work and had not been able to drop by. Joshua nodded and got into his own car once Donovan's red Ferarri had pulled out of the driveway, heading to the park and pulling into the lot.

The sound of the guitar was what drew him toward his friend, picking up on the music before he actually spotted her and following it curiously to its source. Sure enough, he found Lark, and he offered her a bright smile. "Sorry that took so long, I was busy at the house." He did not mention his father for two reasons. One, it didn't seem necessary to let her know. Two, he didn't like to call attention to his good relationship with the man when her own father was such a jerk. He figured she probably wouldn't mind or hold it against him but he still refrained from going on about the man. "How are you? You're actually playing outside, I'm impressed. Sounds pretty good." He knew that she had an issue with playing in front of other people so he was glad that she was trying to warm up to it. He wanted her to do well in her desired career, seeing as she was his best friend and all. He sat down beside her at a slight angle so that he was facing her, able to look in her eyes. It was weird talking to someone and staring straight ahead. "What's up?" She seemed alright and so maybe she really had wanted to just hang out. He didn't mind.

Lark's reply was not very encouraging and Joshua frowned as he looked at her, subconsciously fretting over any possible injuries or illnesses that may have befallen her. He did not like when his friends were anything less than perfect in terms of health and so the situation with Lark's father had troubled him greatly since he'd found out. He was glad she'd confided in him, though, because Josh was an excellent keeper of secrets and could be depended upon if needed. "Is everything alright at home? Is there anything I can do?" He didn't like to pry but he wasn't going to stop himself from offering to help in any way he could. He hated that there wasn't more he could do. Despite his concerns, he also hated being a mother hen. He understood more than most the meaning of pride and all its ins and outs, how it was difficult to really lean on someone else in times of trouble. He didn't want to make Lark uncomfortable by pressing her too much and so after expressing his concerns, he dropped the subject.

It meant quite a bit to him that she trusted his opinion enough that she'd let it fuel her toward further progression. He liked to be of use to his friends. He did not like manipulated and being used but he did like the feeling that his presence in their lives was not a pointless one. He had many acquaintances and mild friendships since switching sides but his close friends remained few and far between. He wouldn't have it any other way. "Everyone starts slow," he said. "I certainly wasn't born with anatomical knowledge." Passions developed slowly. Embarrassments receded even more slowly, if they existed. Hopefully the more Lark played in front of other people, the more she would feel comfortable doing so. "What were you playing just then? Or was it something you wrote yourself?" He was incapable of writing piano music but Joshua was not half bad at coming up with things for his guitar. He figured that it owed to the fact he'd been playing the instrument for about fourteen years. He didn't have a natural gift for writing music and so that process for him was a lengthy one.

He blinked when the child approached them but did not protest to his presence, smiling so as to appear less intimidating than usual. Joshua also possessed a fondness for the young, mostly because of his little sister and the fact he'd practically helped raise her. He was good with kids, patient as long as they didn't set off his temper. It seemed Lark was as well, something that he had not known. "You like kids, Lark? I wouldn't have thought." He didn't mean it in an insulting way. In all fairness, Joshua himself wasn't the type most expected to be proficient in handling kids. He looked the tough type, the type that would chase kids off if they got near him and have nothing against hurting them. Looks could be deceiving. "How's the electric working out for you?" Such a guitar couldn't usually be played comfortably in the park due to the lack of a place to plug in an amplifier. Still, since he'd gifted it to her he was genuinely interested in how she was faring with it and if it was serving its purpose well.

Remembering that she'd told him about plans to speak with the Earth element, Joshua was glad to hear that it had gone well. Or was going well for now, at very least. "They're good people," he said almost fondly. He might have missed the Fires on occasion but his new allies were definitely not bad ones. They were so genuine, so kind-hearted. It would be sickening to someone that didn't enjoy that kind of thing. Josh liked their friendliness and so it didn't bug him. "Hiking, eh? Was it fun?" Joshua loved to hike. He'd grown up in the mountains and so, just as Lark had developed a passion for surfing living in Hawaii, he'd learned to enjoy traversing the many different trails. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out for a moment before stuffing it back in. "No one important. I thought it might be Nell. I meant to spend time with her tonight but I've still got a couple hours." He waved a hand easily. The day was young, he'd hang out with his fiancée later.

Freestyle was beyond him, for the most part. Joshua could play the works of others and he could write music of his own if he sat and planned it out for hours but he couldn't go with the flow and expect the result to be anything amazing. "That alone indicates talent," he said. "The fact that you don't even need to reference anything, that you can just sit down and play... it's a good thing, Lark." He gave her an honest smile. She'll do fine. I bet she will. He might not have known how good or bad she was at singing until recently but that didn't make him any less supportive of her goals. He smirked when she threatened him, lifting his hands in a mock surrender. "My lips are sealed, no need to sew them shut. Talk about overkill." His gray eyes glittered with amusement. Glancing at the kid, his lips twitching fondly as he watched the boy play the guitar, he said more seriously, "Why would you be embarrassed about that?" He didn't see why a fondness for children was a bad thing. It displayed the fact that someone had the heart to protect the innocent, to appreciate the naivete of childhood. Hell, his fiancée worked with kids, he was the last person that would judge based on such a thing. "I'm glad it's serving you well." He didn't comment on her father, also wishing to preserve her private life from the kid who sat in front of them plucking the strings of the guitar.

Whenever someone mentioned swimming, Joshua wondered what it would have been like for him if he'd known how. If he had been able to swim, Joshua would not have nearly drowned in the lake when those boys pushed him in. Maybe he wouldn't have feared water like he did now. It was a moot point, however, and one which was easily pushed aside. "I've heard he's a chatty guy," Joshua chuckled. It did not bother him that Lark was not a motor-mouth when she hung around him. Joshua understood the need to keep things to yourself. "We're not well acquainted but I'm glad you get along with him, at least. It helps to have the leaders on your side." He had both of them on his, though he didn't know them as well as Lark seemed to be getting to know Ashton. He still took a while to befriend new people but now it was several months instead of several years. He was learning how to accept people into his life without putting them through a hell of a trial, first. "Don't worry about it. I see Nell every day, Lark, we live together." His mood had definitely picked up when Nell decided to come and live with him. He'd grown so used to her presence from staying in her apartment that it had been weird staying in the huge house all alone. He'd had his sister, but they mostly did their own things, kept to their own social circles. They were still siblings and they certainly interacted, just not like best friends would.

He frowned at her in confusion but did not speak when she paused, waiting for her to come out with whatever question she had on her mind. He blinked when she spoke, surprised but not to the point where he wouldn't answer. So when she got ahead of herself, Joshua arched an eyebrow. "It's no use to ask me a question and answer it for me in the same breath." He would answer it himself because he actually did have an answer. The fact that she was his best friend and he wouldn't chance dating her did not mean he somehow missed the fact that she was female. "From my point of view, no, but that's because I friend zoned you the moment I realised I cared about you." His tone and his gaze were light, almost teasing. "You're not bad looking or anything like that but you were my friend and I wasn't that great at... you know, sticking around. That's why I never saw you as more than a friend." It was weird to share this with her, to admit that there had been a solid reason behind the fact he'd never shown any interest. When they'd been younger and Josh had still been rather immature, he hadn't trusted himself with his friends, so he forced himself not to see them in any way but friendship. Nell had been different, for he'd matured since then. "Well, no offence or anything, but your dad is a prick. His opinion doesn't count. Of course I think you could have what I've got." He shook his head and offered a genuine smile. "You're still a girl, Lark, you're not an alien."

The thoughtful look that Joshua gave her suggested that he did understand, at least to some degree. "Being a decent person isn't a weakness." It had taken him a while to realise that not everything would be exploited for use against him. He'd once struggled to make basic conversation because he was so scared that something he said was going to be used to manipulate him in some way. The gang had poisoned his mind to the point where he could barely trust himself. "I understand where you're coming from, believe me." He did not want her to think that he was trying to combat her opinions. He did not believe that she should hide how good she was with kids but he could grasp the reason that she would. Joshua was pretty good about not force-feeding his opinions to people. We are not all one and the same. People were not bumblebees, they did not have hive minds. "I like playing with amplifiers," he said contentedly as he reminisced playing his guitar. He was a quiet person but when he played his guitar he played it loud and proud. "Mostly because it's easier to tell when I'm hitting notes right, I think." He could tune the guitar and then match it to a song, play along with the track so that he was confident he'd gotten the right rhythm and sound. Guitar was really something he and Lark both understood, a common ground in their friendship. He always liked finding those rare gems, subjects that neither of them would tire the other out with. He did try not to go on medical spiels around her.

He blinked. "Old self?" Thinking back on the years of their childhood spent together, Joshua could not remember exactly what Lark had been like. A little angrier, maybe, as young Fires often were. He remembered a little of what he'd been doing back then and a pang of guilt struck him. It was brief, as his regrets usually were, but it was there. I was distant then, wasn't I? To all my friends. He'd had a few friends he could count on but it hadn't been enough. In early childhood he'd pined for the wide social circles that other kids had, he'd wanted to be cool. Lark and Devin both had been younger than he was and he'd longed for friends his own age. When the gang, all tougher, all older than him, had offered that, it hadn't taken much persuasion. "Well, I'm glad." He wondered why he had been unable to achieve what the Earth elemental had by barely knowing her but did not ask, not wanting to seem insensitive. Maybe it's an Earth thing. After all, if he thought about it, he trusted Nell with much more than he had ever told Lark. It's different. We're going to be married. "Oh, hush," he said, waving a hand. "Nell and I spend plenty of time together. I came here to spend time with you." He knew that he didn't always have a lot of time left over from his busy schedule to make time for friends and so he took advantage of whatever time he could get. That was just how Joshua handled things. Lark's concern for interrupting was sweet, though, and he appreciated it even if it was unnecessary in his opinion.

He wondered what it would have been like if he had been more open to the idea of dating his friends. Would he have seen Lark as a potential girlfriend or would he have ignored her as he did so many others? He honestly couldn't say. The inner workings of his teenage mind were confusing to Joshua himself. He did not know where his head had been for half the terrible things that he'd convinced himself to do and he didn't know what his thoughts and feelings had been, either. It was remarkable how easy it was to forget living through a situation, no matter how difficult it had seemed at the time. "Yes it does," said Josh stubbornly. Why did he attract people like a magnet that didn't seem to believe the good in themselves? First Devin, then Nell, now Lark. It seemed his circle were full of doubt. Or was it Josh himself who was simply too confident? "He was probably saying it to get a rise out of you, Lark. Let's face it, we're Fire elementals, that's not hard to do." His own father had often spat insults at him when they argued, things that were either partially true or entirely false with the sole intention of making his son snap. It was when he included fact within his jibes that it hurt the most. "Believe me, if there was any sort of tricks to it I'd tell you. I just winged it. Hell, sometimes I still don't know what I'm doing, but Nell makes me happy so I'm sure she'll forgive me if I fuck up a little. If you find someone, Lark, they should always be willing to have a little patience."

Joshua could not remember an open Lark, just as he was sure that she would not remember a naive and desperate Joshua searching for anyone to befriend. He had already been involved with the gang when he had met Lark but he had never confessed said involvement to her. At first he'd thought it was cool, like he was somebody. That was why he'd been so confident in trying to befriend the other girl. Then, as the years progressed, it had changed. A different person. Old self. "There's no need to feel that you can't trust me." He was not offended, merely feeling as if he had to state this fact for it to become a reality. Joshua was like a bank vault when it came to the secrets and sins of his close friends. Nothing got out unless he wanted it to. He was not the type to sell someone out even if the friendship turned sour, one of the good things about him. His lips twitched. "I try." He really did try to be a good guy for the sake of his friends. They were all he'd had in the world when he was going through hard times. They hadn't known he was relying on them seeing as he'd kept everything inside but it was the simple matter of their friendship that had kept him going. Something to rely on, to count on, something dependable that didn't vanish with the blink of an eye. He understood the nudge to be a sign of affection and was not at all surprised or offended. "I understand." He might have resented her father for hurting her but it would be a lot more than bitterness for Lark. Cause you've been there, haven't you? He tried not to hold anything against Donovan after all these years. Move on. Heal.

If there had been any bad decisions in the conversation thus far, Lark took the cake by mentioning Brett. Gray eyes immediately flashed at the sound of the name, recognising it, remembering the way the Thunder elemental had insulted his fiancée. "Her pussy had to taste like dirt, didn't it?" The memory of the comment made him bristle. Still, he'd gotten his revenge for that and he'd came out the victor in their fight. He could cast aside the anger quite easily. When Lark told him of her own issues with the Thunder elemental, however, he decided he hated the prick's guts. Hated him. "He tried—" Woah. Alright. Joshua could feel the heat of anger rising up in him and he held up a hand to caution her against saying anything for the time being. He had not been expecting the wave of rage to hit him like a brick wall. "I hate that kid." It was vehement, frustrated. "Fucking hated him enough for what he said about Nell and now—ugh. Give me a moment, I'll be alright." His breaths had become a little more heavy when he spat the words, the anger rearing up and baring its fangs like old times. He was getting better with his anger problems but as he had never thought to get professional help they were still very much a part of him. "Brett and I don't get along. I never said anything because you two were friends—not that he gives a fuck about that, apparently." God, he wanted to punch someone. Lark was the only one close enough and so that urge was thankfully suppressed.

He did not want to tell Lark anything that was inaccurate and so he was not sure what advice to give her. Joshua could not pretend that he was an expert on dating and giving advice. The relationship with Nell had fallen into place rather easily and it had been smooth sailing from that point forward. "I can only go off what I've experienced, and all I know is that I went into it blindly. I had no idea what I was doing." He was usually iffy about admitting things like this but this was Lark and he trusted her not to judge him for his inexperience. The inner workings of a relationship had taken he and his fiancée a while to get a hang of and sometimes he still felt like he was traversing in the dark, stumbling blindly into the walls. "I asked her out in a Tim Hortons and she said alright. That's how I got into a relationship. Who knows how it'll happen for you? Cause it will happen, Lark. You're fine to date, I'm sure." He saw nothing about Lark that warded people off. "I'd say it's more likely that the guys don't think you're interested rather than being intimidated." If girls didn't put it out there that they weren't opposed to dating, there was no real way for a guy to know how open they were to getting into a relationship. He blinked at her when she said she wanted to tell him something, taking it very seriously for it seemed to be important. "You can tell me anything. You know I won't tell anyone, Lark. I'd never do that to you."

He could not express through words how much it meant to him that he was trusted. He'd spent a lot of his life lying and deceiving his only friends and so he knew he often did not deserve their trust. But then, he reminded himself, was he not good at keeping secrets? Yes, he was. He kept everything to himself no matter how nasty the friendship turned because he knew how much it would hurt to have something he'd trusted another person with used against him. If he broke up with Nell, if he fell out with Lark, if he parted ways with Devin, he wanted to know that the things he'd told them in confidence would stay silent. So he always kept their secrets safe. "Then I won't tell you." He did not want to drag Lark into an issue that was already buried. "I took care of it, don't worry." By 'took care of it' he meant that he'd punched Brett as hard as he could and then proceeded to beat him down. He did not get as much thrill from fighting as he had when he was younger but that satisfaction was still there. He couldn't deny that it felt good to come out on top. He hoped his Earth and Water friends did not resent his sometimes violent nature. He couldn't help who he was. "Fucking prick," he spat. "Did he know? That you were...?" It didn't make sleeping with your friend much better but if Brett was aware that Lark had been a virgin when he'd seduced her then he definitely hated the Thunder boy with every fibre of his being.

The worst part was that he knew what it was like. He knew how it felt to wake up and find out from someone else that you'd slept with someone for the first time. It was a lot different for guys, they didn't have a risk of pregnancy and loss of one's virginity wasn't always seen as a bad thing. It hadn't made him happy, for he'd been pretty young and pretty fucking drunk on top of that. He couldn't remember a thing. Didn't even know what the girl looked like. He sympathized with Lark then but was not quite sure how to express it. "It's hard, I know. I'm sorry." What was he apologising for? Hell, he didn't even know. It wasn't his fault she'd gotten drunk and slept with Brett and he didn't blame himself for it. He simply wasn't sure what else to say. "Everyone handles relationships differently." The fact that he'd stumbled blindly into a relationship didn't mean she would. It had been more difficult in his case because neither of the couple had known what they were doing but also comforting in that they'd worked it out together. He didn't know what it would be like any other way because Nell was his first and would hopefully be his final relationship. "Telling yourself that a guy doesn't like you is your first problem," he said. "It might be true but until you actually get rejected, Lark, it's usually a bad idea to make assumptions. That sets you up for failure." You never knew until you tried something. "If it's a friend, though, be careful. Relationships can ruin friendships and I don't think that's a good place to be, in the end." Friends were forever, relationships were not always.

He stayed silent as she told her story, not wanting to interrupt. At first he was confused, wondering what surfing had to do with it, but the moment she mentioned her coach he felt a knot in the pit of his stomach. Could this be going in a certain, negative direction? He didn't usually jump to conclusions but he was not stupid. He knew the stories about people who shut themselves down after a sexual assault and that was what they were talking about, right? Why Lark didn't date? His suspicions were confirmed and his expression sympathetic when she paused for a moment, realising that it must be hard for her to admit something so severe. He thought about the secrets he'd kept over the years and how none of them were quite so terrible as what his best friend was telling him now. Tried. He registered this word, remembering her saying that it was Brett who'd taken her virginity. Still, an attempted rape was still every bit as traumatizing and it did not lessen the emotional effects. His gaze soft, he touched her shoulder gently in a sign of support. He normally would have hugged a friend if they were in such a state but it didn't seem like a good idea given what he'd just been told. Joshua's signs of physical affection were rare enough that they conveyed his feelings whether it was just a hand on the shoulder or a full-blown hug.

"You do deserve someone," he said quietly after a moment. "I don't know who, but someone. Someone that cares about you." He was a protective best friend but his job was not to shield his friends from anything and everything. He would definitely be wary of whether or not someone was treating his friends right but he'd relax the moment he realised that Lark was happy. That was why he got so defensive and offended when people challenged his right to a relationship with Nell. He was good to her, he'd never hurt her, what right did they have to question her? He would not question anyone that did not give him a reason to. "Thanks for trusting me," he said. "I promise you, Lark, I swear I won't tell anyone." He didn't say 'I swear to God' because gods were not something he believed in. But the message was the same.