RUSTED FROM THE RAIN , [tagged: nell!]

i think god is moving its tongue

there's no crowd in the streets

- - - - - -and no sun in- - - - - -

MY OWN SUMMER

Nell closed her laptop, sighing lightly. How ironic it was that Josh had gotten off worse than her, the American fugitive. She’d never been necessarily thankful that she didn’t have parents—she wished she could have had someone to reprimand her in a way that didn’t involve violence when she did something wrong—but she was glad for the freedom she now had. Basically, she lived like an adult, even though she was still only seventeen. No curfew, no punishments, just her living on her own. And sure, it was hard having just been thrust out into the real world after a childhood of captivity, but she liked how she was living now a lot better than those times. Even though she was still living in fear. Her father didn’t really make things much better, because she’d rather not have to deal with him thinking he could be a…father. Where did he get off, anyway? Like hell I’d move in with him. Even if he did have a nice, big mansion where she could ride a bike down the halls. She might just move in if only to cause havoc and make his life marginably worse. I’m a very bad person.

She stood up from the couch and made her way to the kitchen, pushing through her overgrown plants and managing to get stabbed in the eye by her ficus. Covering her eye with a hand as she walked toward the fridge, she didn’t see the kitten before he leaped from a capinet and onto her head. ”¡Caca santa, Pablo!” she exclaimed as she pulled the cat from her head. He managed to keep quite the hold onto strands over her hair before she finally managed to pull him away. She gave him a half-smile, never able to actually be mad at him, before looking down at his bowl. ”I see. You attack me when you don’t have food.” After feeding the kamikaze plane of a cat, she grabbed a snack for the road. She’d once been asked if there was ever a time she didn’t have food on her—and she could only think of the shower.

It didn’t take long to get to Tim Horton’s, but Josh wasn’t even there yet. Never once did she think it may not be a good idea for him to sneak out. She didn’t at all object to such a thing, even though he’d be disobeying his parents. This grounding deal was something that she didn’t find herself liking, since it was so similar to what she’d been put through in childhood. Though it hadn’t just been a simple grounding where she couldn’t go out. It was a lifetime of imprisonment and abuse. And so, she’d managed to sneak out a lot, using the fire escape behind the brick building to clamber down from the second story window. Her entire past was built off disobeying her mother’s ‘rules’ and trying to find some form of escape. Nell never wanted to have to be put through that again, which is why she hated the idea of Josh being grounded. Grounding equaled false imprisonment in her mind, which she now knew was a crime. I could have ended my torture so long ago. But like any victim, she was far too scared and far too ignorant to have considered reaching out to anyone.

When Josh finally did arrive, she smiled at his questions. ”Don’t worry about it, I haven’t been here for that long.” She really hadn’t, and she didn’t mind waiting, anyway. She understood that he’d have to sneak out, and that might not have been an easy process for him. Mansions have security and everything, right? Nell knew her own father’s did, and figured that it would have been an inter-mansion sort of thing. ”That’s good. You sure no one saw you?” That would definitely not be good, but his house was big, needless to say, so she wasn’t sure of the likelihood that anyone would have seen him. She laughed a bit at the mention of his butler. ”Yeah, my own butler is currently grooming Pablo.” Anything to inject humor into the situation. He’d managed to escape his imprisonment—she shivered at how wrong that sounded, why did parents have this whole deal with grounding?—and so they might as well enjoy the time he had away from…grounding. Nell tried not to think about what it really was. Nell smirked, taking out her own wallet from her back pocket. ”Don’t worry, I’m good in that department. I don’t like people paying for things, anyway, especially when it comes to me and food.” Ironic, considering the fact that it was someone else’s money she was using to pay for this food. But Josh didn’t need to know that—because if he did, he would realize just how bad of a person she could be.

i think god is moving its tongue

there's no crowd in the streets

- - - - - -and no sun in- - - - - -

MY OWN SUMMER

Nell watched him, shifting a bit uncomfortanbly from one foot to the other. No leaving. Right, that’s what grounding entails. It was a popular thing among parents and it just didn’t sit right. Of course, what she was imagining wasn’t how parents usually went about it, but still. Being forced to stay in the house was just wrong, all the time, in her mind. ”Do they lock the doors other times?” she asked with some hesitation. That’s what he made it sound like, and it unsettled her stomach. Now she was pretty damn worried, more so than when he said he had gotten grounded. And she was seriously trying not to dredge up thoughts of her past, a life spent grounded. A liftetime spent sneaking out like Josh. It honestly unnerved her that that was what his parents were doing now. Even though it wasn’t what she had to go through, she still didn’t like the whole idea of it. Where did this whole grounding thing come from, anyway? What sicko thought it was okay to lock their child up for god knows how long just because they got into trouble? Weren’t there better ways of handling these things? There had to be, she couldn’t accept that punishment like that could be the only way to discipline a child.

Josh really wasn’t making this better. Actually, the description of his punishments made her stomach twist in knots. ”That’s…” she started. Honestly, Nell didn’t realize how normal grounding was, and how much less severe she was thinking it to be. ”That’s not right. Your parents really shouldn’t do that.” No, she was not smiling. At all. It was one of the rare times that a frown found her lips, and her eyes moved to the floor, but brought them to his face at his next words. ”Locked in your room…for a straight week…?” Words like ‘locked’ for long periods of time were very, very bad if he was trying to convince her that everything was all right with him. She snapped her head up at his finishing statement, eyes wide. How could he think that? ”No, no, no, you did not bring it on yourself!” She stopped before she went on and made herself seem more like more of a freak. No matter what someone did, any form of imprisonment was wrong. And she didn’t want Josh to think that anything he did made him deserve such treatment, because that’s exactly what her mother had told her. That every single thing that the woman did to her daughter was her own fault. And Nell had to carry that sort of guilt and shame all her life. She didn’t want that for Josh, not realizing how many preconceived ideas of punishments she had. ”Your parents will forgive you, right? They’ll let you out of the house?” Of course they will, Nell, you’re just being ridiculous because of your goddamn mother. But Josh really, really wasn’t helping her. At all. Especially since over the IM he said that his parents hadn’t said when they would let him out.

”He’s great. Practicing aerial acrobatics. Learning the Spanish language.” The latter was actually pretty true, even barring that day’s fiasco and the slip of her tongue. She’d sit with him and show him flashcards that he’d paw at or tell him words for him to repeat back. Sometimes she wondered if his meows were actually those words to him…or if he was just asking to be fed. Either way, she was confident in the fact that he was becoming billingual and will eventually know both Catanese and Spanish. The kitten did wonders for her, actually. Especially when she was having a bad day. She loved that when she came home, she had someone waiting for her. And she loved having something to care for, other than her plants, and something that depended on her. Some may have loved cats because they were cute and fluffy—Nell loved them because she could take care of them. She laughed bit as Josh spoke. ”I honestly couldn’t ask anyone to pay for the amount of food I eat in one sitting.” She shrugged, and then said, ”I guess pride plays into it, too. I’m sure you understand.” The last time she’d been there with Josh was actually with his little sister. Before the war and back when she didn’t even know what to make of him. With a half-smile, she said, ”Thank you, kind sir.” She ordered what she usually did—two boxes of donuts and something to wash it all down with—and found that same satisfaction in draining more of her father’s money. She took her junk food and waited for Josh to order, already starting on a donut.

i think god is moving its tongue

there's no crowd in the streets

- - - - - -and no sun in- - - - - -

MY OWN SUMMER

Nell scratched the back of her head at his question, letting her eyes fall to the floor. She felt sick, which wasn’t too good considering that she was about to eat. Why wouldn’t they? Because that’s not right. Ever. Not in Nell’s mind at least. She had thought she liked his parents, but she was seriously having second thoughts, only somewhat aware of how ridiculous she was being. Not every parent is like her. Just because her relationship with her parents was so fucked up didn’t mean that every other parent out there was twisted and horrible. But still, it was the simple concept of grounding that had her worked up. He went on to say how he had at least books to entertain him, and dared to look him in the eyes. ”At least…you had your books…” She swallowed and looked back down again. ”But they feed you right and everything…?” It was a little too late to take back that question, only now realizing how odd that was. This conversation was not doing good for her at all. Everyone needed their freedom, it wasn’t right to keep someone locked inside all the time. And all the while thinking this, she reminded herself that it hadn’t just been imprisonment. It had been imprisonment for years, and abuse to accompany that. His parents weren’t abusive. You don’t know that. Her emotions were conflicting so much, she didn’t even know what to do with them.

She flinched a bit at his words, not wanting to think about that. Inwardly chastising herself for acting like this, she said, ”I…I didn’t think that.” You didn’t have to be locked in a cellar or eating vermin for imprisonment to be horrible. It was bad in and of itself. Again, Nell was taking this to the extreme when she should have realized that what Josh was going through now was not at all like her past experiences. He mentioned homework, and she shook her head. Her mother’s reasoning for locking her up would be considered absurd to anyone but her—being a paranoid schizophrenic, Mia could only believe that the world was a horrible place and that her dasterdly sister would snatch up her baby girls if they ever dared to set foot outside. And when Tilly died…well, her reasoning changed to accommodate. Nell was bad. Always had been bad—she was the reason that her mother’s life was so bad and why her father left and why her sister died. Why would Mia let her go anywhere when she needed to be punished? Even though she didn’t want to admit it to herself and let her mother be right, Nell blamed herself for those things. Therefore, she didn’t want Josh to think he deserved something like that. Even if it wasn’t like that. Not at all. His parents had good reasons for grounding him, they were reasonable people. Too bad psychological issues ran deep for Nell. Of course, there was hope in that his parents would release him. ”Soon, do you think?” Her voice sounded so optimistic it was almost sickening.

Nell would much rather think about kittens and Spanish than things that were now trying to force their way into her brain. She didn’t want to think about all the things that Josh’s current situation forced her to think of. She smiled at him as if nothing was at all wrong right now, just as she had pretended their hadn’t been anything wrong when his parents drove them away from the police station. Her smile faltered when he mentioned how anxious she had seemed about the punishment thing, and she bit her lip. ”Uh, yeah,” she said. Nell was all right, just worried for his sake. Breathing deep, she decided to laugh even though it was an effort. ”You’re not the one being silly, here.” No, she was the one freaking out over something that every parent all over the world did, on a less severe level than what she had been put through. But Nell didn’t exactly realize this. With her limited interaction with the world, how was she supposed to understand these things? ”I’ve just had bad personal experience…with grounding.” Or rather false imprisonment, which was considered a crime and not what parents usually did. Just her mother, she had to keep reminding herself. Not every parent lets their child out.” She was super glad for the change of subject, Josh didn’t even know. Her smile came much more easier when she said, ”Nah, no one’s been bothering me, really. Just the usual stuff Earth students have to put up with.” She rolled her eyes. Not like she never got bullied, but that kind of stuff she could handle. That was easy. Finishing another donut in a matter of seconds, she asked, ”Are the Fire students still being complete jerks or have they at least…cooled off?” She waggled her eyebrows as she told one of her usual horrible, punny jokes, and the laugh that followed didn’t sound as strained as before.

i think god is moving its tongue

there's no crowd in the streets

- - - - - -and no sun in- - - - - -

MY OWN SUMMER

By the expression on Josh’s face, she could guess that he was pretty disbelieving. Her cheeks heated up, realizing just how stupid a question that must have been. But you never knew. No one knew about her mother, after all, and that had been her fault, something else she could blame herself for. How was she supposed to know that Josh’s family didn’t ever hurt him? She could feel a bit of defensiveness push through, a need to stick up for herself even though she was way off base with the whole grounding deal. She nodded. They didn’t torture him, of course they didn’t. Not every parent out there is abusive. She scolded herself for even thinking so terribly of the people who had been so nice to her on their son’s birthday, who welcomed her into their home and were just so obviously good people. They even gave her a lift after she and Josh got arrested. They aren’t like her. Not at all. Even though no one could really tell that anything was wrong by just looking at Mia; faces deceive all the time, and you couldn’t tell what someone was like from outward appearance. But she always put faith into other people, tried her best to believe in them. Which is why she felt so bad for thinking that Donovan and Patricia could do anything so horrible like her mother had.

She chose to believe that his parents would let him out soon, whether it was so she didn’t have to think badly of them or because she wanted to believe Josh, she didn’t know. Ignorance is bliss, she guessed. ”I just feel bad that you got punished so badly and I got off easy.” It was very ironic considering she was the one already in trouble with the law, but since it had been his fault even though she didn’t want to blame him, that only made since. Still, if she was a normal teenager there would have been more repurcussions for her. She’d probably have been grounded, too. Except she was not a normal teenager and she could just walk away from her father whenever he started to act like a parent. ”I guess so,” Nell said, thoguh she still didn’t like all this grounding business. But she kept telling herself that just because she had bad experiences didn’t mean that other people were scarred for life whenever their parents took away their video games. She gave a small smile, since telling her not to worry was like telling her not to breathe. ”I’ll try not to,” she said, by way of relenting. Nell would still be concerned about him and his well-being, but she’d try not to freak out about the fact that he would be confined to his house for an undetermined period of of time.

Nell took a moment of silence, knowing that she’d let something about her past slip. Well, actually, it could have been considered a general comment, but Josh had clearly caught on. Her ignorance of everything could really hinder her in times like these. ”Don’t even worry about it, you didn’t know,” she said softly. She didn’t want him to feel guilty about something that was definitely not his fault. ”I really shouldn’t be comparing other people’s experiences with mine, anyway.” Everyone was different, she just had to keep reminding herself of that. Josh’s history with grounding was not like hers with imprisonment. All she needed to do was stop fretting so much and enjoy the time she could spend with him while he was sneaking out. Nell nodded at his words, finally calming down from her minor anxiety attack over him. ”That’s what parents should do,” she said with a sigh. Good parents forgave their children. Normal parents forgave their children and didn’t make them feel like everything bad that had happened was their fault. ”They should forgive their children even if they try to get around the rules.” She shrugged her shoulders. Her life had been one long, continuous punishment but that didn’t mean that’s what Josh was like. His parents were nice, sane people.

Nell tilted her head and smiled. ”Well, you can always carry around a squirt bottle,” she said as another attempt at a joke. She mimed squeezing the bottle trigger, as if Fire students could be deterred by a bottle of water. Since Nell hadn’t been turning against her element and the Fires had laid off after she spoke to Alex, she didn’t really have to deal with them. Perhaps they were too busy messing with Josh. She still had some bitter Thunder students to deal with, but luckily they weren’t too ballsy against an Earth student, no matter how passive she was. Thankful that the Academy had returned to the Halcyon state she’d entered it during, she didn’t even care if anyone still had hard feelings about the war. She just wanted to move past it and forget that it ever happened. ”Do you think that him stepping down had anything to do with the war?” Nell asked, curious as to why the Fire leader had abdicated his post. Nell grinned at the question. ”Much better now that the war is over. That was the worse part, my Earth buddies getting attacked because they sided with me.” Definitely the worst part, and she thought of it grimly. But she quickly recovered to say, ”I’m just glad to see the Academy at least somewhat normal again.”

i think god is moving its tongue

there's no crowd in the streets

- - - - - -and no sun in- - - - - -

MY OWN SUMMER

Nell realized that it was Josh’s fault that they had been arrested. But she still couldn’t blame him because he’d been afraid—if he’d just rocketed out of there for no reason, then yeah, she might have had been mad at him, but still would have been able to forgive. But those were not the circumstances. ”I told you not to blame yourself!” she said firmly, with a nod of her head to emphasize this point. She wouldn’t allow him to have any feelings of guilt about this whatsoever. ”Especially since I did get off so easily. There’s nothing to feel guilty about.” Except, you know, her minor panic attack in the jail cell. But nope, she wouldn’t blame Josh for that. Amazing how easily she could forgive him now when he’d once threatened to cut her. She could have laughed at that thought, but she was staying serious to assure Josh that she couldn’t find any reason to pin the fault of this whole thing on him. Especially not when he was suffering and she was free to skip through a field of flowers like the hippie she was. He was just being incredibly masochistic, making himself feeling worse when he already had to deal with the fact his parents had grounded him and taken his shiny new car. ”And if you keep blaming yourself…I may have to take drastic measures.” She didn’t say what these drastic measures were, because she didn’t know. She just didn’t want him to keep blaming himself for something he did in a moment of panic.

”Oh, I am,” she said quickly. Because if she’d gotten in trouble, it would have been pretty damn bad. As in deportation bad. As in trial without having any assistance bad. And—in the end—it would have meant a very long jail sentence bad. She snorted as he brought up her father. ”He never actually gets mad, he was just very irritating and sarcastic and annoying.” Nell wasn’t one to complain, and she really wasn’t—her father, even the mention of him, just brought out the worst in her. Nell nodded, now tapping her foot a bit in irritation as she thought about her father. She hoped that Josh didn’t think she was getting mad at him or anything, since this wasn’t very Nell-like behavior. ”That, and he said he wouldn’t help me if I did get arrested again.” She rolled her eyes. She didn’t plan on doing that so her father didn’t have anything to worry about. Could her father force her to move in with him? ”Luckily, he has no legal rights over me,” she explained, and now her fingernails were tapping on the table with her ever-growing irritation. ”I would never let that man have any power over me. And he damn well better not try to make me do anything or I swear by all that is holy I will do whatever I can to make his life hell, porque él me debe y no controla mi vida…” She cut herself off before she started into any more Spanish rambling, her cheeks flushed with both anger and embarrassment. ”Sorry…got carried away there.” She sighed and blew her bangs out of her eyes, now very heated up. It was awesome, how her father got to her like this. Just awesome. ”I’ll be eighteen in…August? Yeah, August. So even if he does try anything, it’ll all be null and void then.” She smirked as she remembered something. ”Oh yeah, I don’t think he likes you much.”

Nell smiled. She was actually glad that he felt comfortable enough to ask her questions. There were certain things you had to tread carefully with when talking to her—just as it was with Josh—but once she’d really come to trust you, that trust went a long way. It didn’t necessarily mean her owning up to everything she’d ever done in life, but it meant a peak inside an otherwise secretive private life. ”It’s okay.” She thought for a moment, then added, ”You know, you don’t have to be so careful when asking questions about my private life. I’m okay with most things. It’s just…I don’t like talking about my past, as I’m sure most people don’t.” It was close to anyone as she’d ever gotten. No one else really had this privelege, where they could ask her something about her life and only get an ‘It’s complicated’. Had Josh been anyone else and asked about the man, that would have been her answer. But he knew about the whole murder deal, so what else in her life right now did she have to hide from him? Of course, Nell wasn’t one to talk about herself all the time or complain about things so she had to say, ”Uhm…sorry for using you as the sound board for my problems. That wasn’t nice of me.” Nell sighed when he mentioned his parents. Of course, he was right. ”Discipline is needed, I guess.” Too bad her mother was too far gone to even realize what the hell she was doing. And too bad Nell was afraid of what discipline could mean. ”Yep, you always got to look on the bright side,” Nell said with great enthusiasm, her earlier anger now completely vanished. He could have been abused, and she was pretty sure he hadn’t been. But she also knew he wouldn’t tell her if he was. Don’t go down that path again brain, thanks.

Nell could guess at how fond Josh was of Alexandre at the meeting they had. Those two just added to the tenseness of the entire situation. ”Well, I can’t speak very highly of someone who supported an attack against me…” She wore a half-smile though. ”I’m just glad it didn’t much for him to back down. If only we could have done it earlier and have avoided all this…” But there was no point in ‘what if’s, as Nell always believed. She certainly did not share Josh’s animosity toward the guy, but that wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for them. ”Do they have anyone in mind, you think?” It was the enemy affiliation, and so she shouldn’t have been asking about this, but she was a naturally curious person. It wouldn’t matter much to her who came to power next, unless they decided to launch a war against her for some reason or another. Nell laughed lightly when he said that he wouldn’t let the new leader command him. ”Well, you certainly made that clear during the war. But…don’t college students have more free reign than us lowly high schoolers?” She was pretty sure that since they were adults, they weren’t kept on such short leashes. In any case, she liked her own leader, since she considered Ashton to be a good friend. And she wouldn’t mind being ordered around by him, even though he definitely wasn’t the type to go drill sargeant on his element. And speaking of the Earth element, she was rather surprised by his sincerity about how the element was doing. ”I’m glad that my element has fallen into your good graces. I’m guessing it was the hospitality?” No matter how strange it was that he was a Fire elemental. ”As for the Water kids…well, I know they can be rambuncuous. So that’s okay.” She really liked them, of course, but she had a feeling Josh wouldn’t be too fond. Actually, she couldn’t say that since he was pretty unpredictable.

i think god is moving its tongue

there's no crowd in the streets

- - - - - -and no sun in- - - - - -

MY OWN SUMMER

Nell looked at him from the corner of her eye until she caught on that he was joking. Right, still not completely used to that.’ She put on her usual half-smile and raised an eyebrow. Crossing her arms in a mock gesture of her own, she couldn’t help but laugh at his mention of coronaries and how true that was. ”What, you’re not enjoying the verbal tennis game?” she said, her smile growing wider. That was certainly a good way to describe how they carried blame. He was right, though. Nell held up her hands in a surrendering gesture and said, ”Compromise. I shall speak no more.” It was nice, that they could do that. Make a compromise and move on. Especially since she’d thought Josh to be such a difficult person to deal with before—she’d never disliked him, but she’d always felt nervous around him, like one word may get her burned to death. But even from the beginning, he’d been helpful to her in his own dark, dickish way. Now, it was more effortless to hold a conversation, when before it had felt like a marathon. And if Nell was good at anything, it was moving on from the past. She faltered when he actually asked what she had in mind, these ‘drastic measures’. ”Well…erm…you’ll find out!” Crossing her arms again, she added on, ”And it won’t be pretty, nosiree.” It was then she finally burst out in laughter, surprised that she had so much restraint before.

She winced a bit as he said the word, but she wasn’t about to stick up for the man. It was kind sad when you could rely on your closest friend more than your own father. But this father was the one who thought he could skip merrily back into her life and be an overbearing prick after about eleven years. And Josh had never abandoned her before, quite the opposite. Therefore, he was the better man by far. She could have laughed at the fact that he squeezed the jelly out of his donut, but she was far too peeved for that. ”Thank you, really,” she said. ”But that wouldn’t help much since not only will he leave me in the dust, but he will also ensure that I get deported.” Realizing how angry he was getting, she said quickly, ”He’s just banging on his chest, really. More hollow threats than anything. And I will say no more on him, in case I start turning green and grow ten more feet.” Besides, she could never go in too deep about her father and everything that was wrong with their relationship. Which was a lot of things, but she was sure Josh also had problems with his parents. Not that they’d ever abandoned him and left him defenseless against a near-psychotic woman, and she tried not to think of the whole grounding deal, but no relationship was perfect. Or at least she didn’t think so. She frowned and banged her forehead against the table a few times, muttering under her breath, ”That man will be the death of me.” After all, he sure didn’t help in the whole Spanish deal since apparently he refused to speak the English language just like the parents he claimed not to like. Sitting straight again, she said, ”I am so sorry. I could tutor you or something so I’m not a total jerk when I keep doing this to you.” She really always felt terrible about that now. Her father had taught it to her for a future skill to use in the world—probably one of the only skills she had that she could bring into her life—but it was causing more problems when her brain operated in both languages like a dual processor. The feeling is mutual? Again, she couldn’t stick up for her father. She knew what he probably thought about Josh—that he was a total delinquint and that she shouldn’t be around him and blah blah blah. The only reason that he didn’t say those things because even he realized that that wasn’t how their father/daughter dynamic worked.

She felt…honored to have Josh’s trust, which was a strange way to think of it. He had been a suspicious person from the start, and pretty much every conversation had been filled with awkward silences simply because they were afraid of asking each other too many questions. So honored would be a good word for it. ”Well, I think it’s only normal…for people to want to keep their private lives, well…private.” Nell hoped she was right about that, but it only seemed normal. No one liked to air their dirty laundry. But she trusted him, because he had kept her dirty laundry a secret. Despite all of Josh’s faults, his temper and the fact that she didn’t even get him, she still trusted him. And since he apparently returned such feelings, she had an idea. ”All right then, how about a game of twenty questions?” She leaned back and crossed her arms, eyes rolling up to the ceiling in thought. What was something she wanted to know about Josh? Except for everything, because she didn’t think she understood one bit about him. ”What’s your favorite food?” She actually really wanted to know, especially because of his vegetarianism. She could only imagine that kind of diet, and she knew her life wouldn’t be complete without meat. Even though he assured that everyone needed to vent, Nell felt sincerely regretful about getting so mad around Josh, especially since it was letting on that there was something wrong with her life. There could be nothing wrong with Nell, or rather that was her front. It’s kind of hard to tell that to someone who knows how much of a mess you are. ”I won’t argue with that,” she said, because that would mean they’d need another compromise.

Since clearly talk of the ex-Fire leader was not good, she dropped it. No need to make Josh even angrier, because an angry Josh was not a good Josh to have. And she didn’t want any more jelly donuts to suffer. So she was more than glad to move on to possible prospects for the Fire leader, being reminded that he’d once held the position. ”I’m guessing you weren’t?” she asked about the tyrant comment, since she hadn’t been around for that. She wasn’t too surprised, since Josh had once said he didn’t like politics much before. Which meant it was kind of odd that they chose him as leader, but as he said, they were apparently looking for a big bully. ”So, are these…elections, I guess, like popularity contests?” Nell once again displayed her ignorance of the inner workings of the Academy, but she didn’t feel so self-conscious with Josh when asking these sort of questions. ”You can always use superiority of age and order them around,” she said with a giggle, showing she wasn’t at all serious. She’d be an adult very soon, but her next birthday really didn’t matter too much—she’d pretty much been an adult all her life, one more birthday wouldn’t make a big difference. But soon, she’d be going to college because she was determined to hone her powers even more since it always felt like she’d missed out on so much. Plus, the Academy had quickly become her home and it was really the only place she had to feel at least remotely safe. Especially now with the war over. ”Well you know the Earth element, best hosts in the world. We turn down your bed and put mints on the pillows and everything.” She laughed at this, and grinend at Josh when he nudged her. ”I doubt you can be soft,” she teased. ”But I’m really glad that we left a good impression and all. They Earth element is pretty much my family.” A better family than she’d ever had.

i think god is moving its tongue

there's no crowd in the streets

- - - - - -and no sun in- - - - - -

MY OWN SUMMER

When Josh replied, she could at least tell now that he really was joking and that he had a sense of humor, something that didn’t ever exist before. But she wasn’t complaining. It was nice that every second didn’t involve an awkward silence when neither of them knew what to say. Normally, Nell would have been much more talkative, but the simplest things with Josh had been off-limits. And he wasn’t too social, either. And she’d been fine with that, which is why she stuck around for so long. ”Yes, you will,” she responded coolly, as if she had an evil idea forming in her brain. Even a confident smirk accompanied that. It was getting easier for her to accept that Josh had the ability to joke, and therefore she could joke right back. ”Curious, hmm? Well, you’ll just have to wait and see.” It was actually really nice to forget about all the problems surrounding both of their lives so they can lobby jokes back and forth. She didn’t know the exact kind of burdens he had to shoulder, but after getting arrested and grounded and dealing with whatever he had on his mind, there must have been a lot of stress there. And her life had been taken over by school, work, and the constant fear that impending trials weighed her down with. So just sitting in Timmies and talking to a friend felt very good.

Well, until Josh got angry. She should really learn not to speak, especially since the topic of her father did not sit well with him. Nell looked down and scratched the back of her head. Whereas she could calm down pretty quickly even though she was always bitter toward her father, for Josh it was not so easy. That was probably the biggest difference between them—nature refused to let her get that enraged, but the closest she’d ever come to full-throttle anger was with her father and their family. It just goes to show, it takes years and years of bitterness to make her angry. Nell shrugged. ”Nothing about him is right,” she muttered lowly. Nothing about their relationship was right either, but that was what happened after eleven years of absence. Josh still didn’t know about that, and she didn’t feel the need to tell him. It wasn’t like she could just say ‘oh yeah, daddy left me when I was si and just came back’, even though she would like to explain why she hated him so much so that she didn’t seem so petty. When it came to him, she was always petty. He brought out the worse in her, which is probably why she didn’t want to elaborate too much to Josh. She didn’t want him to see the worse of her. Nell smiled, but it didn’t meet her eyes. Cruelty? Her father iddn’t even compare to his wife. He had actually been afraid of her, which Nell guessed played into him leaving the family. But she didn’t want to think about that. ”Well, I’ll just make sure to stay out of trouble. I’ve been doing okay so far, after all.” Until I met you. But she didn’t mention that, since there was the whole ‘guilt’ issue. Even without Josh, she could still manage to find herself in trouble. She managed to shake off her darker thoughts when she said, ”Finally, I have something that I can teach you!” Since he’d always been the one helping her out, she felt a sense of pride that there was at least one thing he didn’t know that she could help him with.

Nell wore her best wide-eyed, ‘I’m innocent and I don’t know why you would think otherwise’ look. Did he expect anything different? She couldn’t hold the innocent face long before she grinned. How weird that she was doing this with Josh of all people, but finally she’d be learning more about him. Even though it still won’t bring her close to understanding how he worked. Everything about him was just an enigma. ”Candy?” she chirped, using much simplier words than him, of course. It was funny, thinking that big, scary Joshua Dale had a sweet tooth. But it also meant that she could give him candy, which usually she only saved for people she found cute. That’s not creepy, right? Well, she liked giving people any kind of food, but candy and junk was much more convenient than a platter. ”Does your mother cook a lot?” she asked, then she put her hand over her mouth, covering a smile. ”That is not my next question so disregard it.” It was amusing, considering her father had been the cook of the family and his father before him had also cooked. And she was only…somewhat decent when it came to cooking. But she was determined to get better, even if that meant enlisting her father’s help. She nodded, and said solemnly because food was very serious business (as it apparently had been to him), ”Those are a very good sidedish. Tater tots, too.” She chose not to acknowledge the alliteration in that sentence, instead letting her mind wander to food as she downed another donut. Then Josh’s question was about education, and she lifted her eyebrows at him and tilted her head a bit. I could have so called that. ”It’s a toss-up between history and english. They’re my best classes, actually.” She liked the creativity of english, and history was easy for her to understand considering it was about how people and societies interacted with each other. Nell polished off antoher donut before calling out, ”My question again! Lessee…what’s your favorite band?”

Nell held up her hands in a surrendering gesture. ”I’m sorry for ever doubting you.” Now she was catching on easier to when he was joking and was moving past the stage of ‘ohmygod, he actually has a sense of humor’. ”I guess that’s what makes a good leader.” Taking care of your element and not going around causing problems with others seemed like your best bet. But she wouldn’t really know, considering she didn’t believe she had any leadership skills. Or any skills at all, save for origami and blowing microwaves up. ”It still blows my mind how Academy politics are so similar to real world politics. Elections are even the same.” She was finally getting used to how the school worked, especially after the war. Before, she’d been even more of a fish out of water than how she felt when first coming to Canada. Now, she was understanding the alliances more, and now the leadership roles. She wondered how Ashton had gotten elected, and decided it had been for the right reasons. ”Well…you have your family at home to fall back on.” Even if right now his parents must have been pretty angry at him and his sister was apparently upset. But she relied heavily on her element in the Academy. She didn’t want to admit that she needed anybody because she was supposed to be fine on her own, but with the Earth students she felt at home. And her father could just rot in hell.