LIFT UP THE RECEIVER [JOSH]

[<3 I could have wrote more, but 700 words even. -takes challenge seriously lolol-]

The day had been rather uneventful for Joshua--his mother had insisted that he take the day off from thinking of anything which involved school, insisting that they should spend the day together. It was a nice proposition considering the drama that had been invading his life lately, what with the war and the threats of Patrick bearing down on his head. The war may have ended, but he still wanted to think as little as possible about his birthday and about the fact that a very unwelcome relative would be dropping by. Call it selfish, but he was glad that Nell would be there (should all go well) to provide a sort of distraction from his grandfather. But today he'd thought only of his mother and of how long it had been since he'd spent time with her away from the mansion. They walked through the garden before they departed, and Joshua nodded attentive as always when his mother went on about the new plants she'd discovered for this year.

They were in the middle of having dinner at Northern Lights when Joshua got the call--he felt it buzz in his pocket, seeing as the ringer was off. Pulling it out with the intentions of shutting it off entirely, it was only the familiar number that made him falter. Patricia, with eyes like a hawk and a mother's intuition, asked quietly, "Do you need to get that, honey?" He nodded mutely and shot her an apologetic look before going outside and immediately picking up. Nell was talking before he could even get in a 'hello?', and Joshua's brow furrowed with concern; was that anger he heard in her tone? He was immediately worried when she mentioned the phone, remembering the mess she had been in the last time a phone had caused her problems. "I'll be there, it's not too far." He didn't mention that she was interrupting him in the middle of dinner, just hung up and went back inside. Yet again, Trish seemed to immediately gauge his mood. "Something's wrong," she frowned. "You don't have to tell me--do you need to leave?" He felt terrible for confirming. "I'm sorry, Mum, I just--"

"It's okay," Patricia sighed. "I can tell it's important. Be careful."

True to his word, he wasted no time in getting to the bar. It was a couple blocks from the restaurant--both were more 'high class' places, after all--so he was able to walk, a relief for Joshua seeing as his mother had drove them both here. And of course it didn't take much for him to recognise Nell; his friend wasn't sobbing or anything, but he was still very concerned for her well-being. "Nell," he greeted, a little breathless because he'd walked quite fast. Given that he was dressed up for the evening, he looked sheepish as he explained, "I was out with my mother--nevermind that, though," he added, for it was the least of her concern, "are you alright? Did something happen?" After all, it wasn't every day you called up your friends and asked them to dispose of phones.

Shaking his head, he corrected himself. "I'm not asking why, I just--I'm worried, is all." As usual, Joshua hated to pry into personal things. He always felt like he was intruding on something when he so much as felt curious about a situation. Holding out his hand, he said, "I'll deal with it, just like I said. No questions asked, even." Glancing around the street, though, he said, "Do you want to go somewhere with less people? I can get rid of it permanently, but not with everyone staring." Joshua was exaggerating of course--they were hardly staring at the pair, but if anyone saw him with what he was trying to do, well, it would be more than just Nell who was getting into trouble. "Unfortunately I don't have my car, but we could hail a taxi, or just walk, or... anything, really. I'm not picky." True to what he'd told her, she could count on him for this. He'd promised and he would deliver. There were no lakes nearby, though, so he was going to use a different method this time around.

Joshua immediately shook his head as Nell expressed her concern, though he did notice that her expression didn't seem to match her words as it usually did. It was only because he was paying her all of his attention, however--had he been a passer by, Josh likely would have overlooked the scene completely. "Not at all; dinner was almost over, nothing to worry about." This was a lie of course, slipping easily from his lips for Nell's benefit. She always showed so much concern for everyone else and almost none for herself, so Joshua didn't want to increase her feelings of guilt by admitting that they'd only just started to eat or that it was rare he spent such quality time with Patricia. He could hang out with his mother some other day, but Nell had sounded really shaken up over the phone. Thus, this situation took top priority for him. "She doesn't mind either," he promised, and at least this was the truth. It helped to insert small lies into an almost-truth so that they were less difficult to detect. "Besides, I could tell it was important." You didn't just phone up a guy friend to break your phone for no reason.

His brows furrowed as she spoke of immaturity before cutting herself off, distress evident in the way that her pitch started to climb. "I'm sorry," he said. "If there's anything I can do, I'll do it." His friends meant the world to him. They were something that Joshua Dale didn't have a lot of--it wasn't like he could parade around school bragging about his colourful social circle. Out of the few, Nell was one of those he found himself trusting the most; she had seen some of his dark points and had stuck around, so there was loyalty there. Born of respect, bred between the constant interaction where she proved again and again that she was a good person.

"Trouble?" Joshua repeated, sounding worried. Perhaps if he chose to focus on the words he'd heard her speak that day on the grounds he would have remembered her mentioning prison, but it was not what came to mind. No, when she spoke of 'trouble' he immediately thought of gangs and violence. Connecting his own past to her situation was a subconscious thing and probably not the right way of thinking, but Joshua couldn't help it--especially when she mentioned that someone negative had gotten a hold of her number. "But it was a new one as well," he protested. He wasn't trying to be argumentative, it was just his own paranoia shining through. "Are you sure it's safe? Sure you'll be safe?" His mind was plagued with visions of spiked bats and seedy warehouses; he could almost hear the voice--raspy from tobacco abuse--on the other line breathing into his ear. "We'll find you wherever you run." Nowhere had been safe. He'd disposed of that phone and yet the next day he'd been left for dead in an alley.

If Nell was trying to reassure him that she'd be alright, mentioning 'going away for a while' probably wasn't the best way to do so. He was alarmed by the immediate and harsh twisting in his gut, acknowledging it as worry over Nell and her current state. Normally he might just pass the emphasis on 'big' as exaggeration, knowing that a lot of people were into dramatics. But Nell usually did the opposite--she'd water down her problems, make them seem less severe. "Is someone after you?" He chewed his lip for a moment, thinking. "Do you need somewhere to hide? If your apartment isn't safe, you could always stay with me. I'm sure my parents--" He cut himself off and amended, "--fuck my parents, I don't care, I won't mind. If you're in danger, Nell, I've got your back to the best of my abilities." He'd developed a certain and strong protectiveness over the girl.

He took the lead upon Nell's request, though he mainly kept pace beside her and just took the incentive of direction changes. Before too long, they were leaving the immediate downtown area and entering a shabby street with a few derelict buildings and a park on the other side. "I used to drive past here on my way to the apartment," he explained, "though I've never actually been inside." He was surprised at how it contrasted the rigid neatness and homely feel of the park by his home--the slide was covered in graffiti and had vulgar drawings etched into it, the wood on one bench was rotting, and one of the swings was hanging by a single chain. No one was in sight. "It's not much to look at," he remarked with a frown, "but it's away from the prying public, I suppose."

Joshua's lips twitched slightly--he might have smiled if their situation wasn't so incredibly grim. "She's great," he said earnestly. He loved his mother and so of course he would be glad that one of his friends approved of her, but that wasn't what he'd come here to do. He caught her tone and shook his head. "Really, Nell, it's fine." He didn't sound irritated, but there was an assertiveness in his tone that suggested he was trying to make a point. He honestly didn't hold it against her that she'd dragged him away from his mother and so he wanted to ensure she knew that.

Narrowed eyes marked the spark of irritation when she said that the traitor had been someone she knew--who would do something like that? Even the mere thought of doing something to endanger one of his friends made him sick. Unless it wasn't a friend, but why would someone who wasn't close to her have her number? This was all a headache of confusion, but he pressed his lips together a moment to stop from asking too much. He didn't want to pressure Nell. "That's terrible," were his words instead, scowling a little. "It definitely wasn't me," he added quickly, just in case she had suspicions. Joshua had no idea that she was already aware of who had revealed the number. "I would never do anything like that, I swear." It felt somewhat ridiculous to swear on something, reminding him of childhood pacts and the like, but he was just trying to get a point across.

There was something shifty about this entire situation; he was used to Nell covering up bad things for the benefit of friends, but this was different. She now seemed like she was skirting around something entirely by the way she was carefully phrasing her words. It didn't really make him suspicious of her, he just started to panic a bit. What was so bad that she was averting his gaze and dancing around her words? He was a bit relieved when she said that no one was out to kill her--he even let out the breath he'd been holding--but it only left more questions. What was the trouble? "It... you said you might have to leave for a while," he recalled from the start of the conversation, and as he said it aloud he was absurdly reminded of lines in movies involving divorce. Pushing this random thought from his mind, he said, "Will it be for very long?" He kept the other questions at bay as much as he could: where was she going? Why? "Will you be alright?"

He nodded. They weren't good places to hang around, that was for sure. "Nor do I. But other people seem to share that thought, so we should be safe for now." She asked what he planned to do, and he held out his hand in response--waiting for the phone, of course. Once it was in his possession, he walked over to the battered bench and sat down, placing the offending object in the sand nearby. Taking a breath to prepare himself, a more concentrated burst of heat started to form in the air. He kept it confined to the area immediately around the phone so that it didn't bake he or Nell in the process, and after he had a handle on the confines he started to increase the power. After a moment the air literally started to shimmer, displaying just how hot it really was. Joshua could feel a bit of the drain from just how strong he was making the heat, but he kept it up for a long moment before he released his hold on the fire and then leaned back against the bench for a moment. He was a little phased by the effort, but the phone clearly wasn't going to be a problem--what had once resembled a cellphone was now quite literally fried. "It's how I got rid of one of mine, once," he explained with a characteristic almost-smile. "Figured you wanted it to be permanent."

His expression contorted for a moment as he chewed the bottom of his lip, wondering how to ask something that had been plaguing him since she'd mentioned leaving. It wasn't personal--or he didn't think it was--but it just felt like an odd question to propose to someone. "I get that you might have to leave," he admitted, for he wasn't going to be a child about this and ask her not to--if it was by choice, she probably wouldn't be so broken up over it. "but will you be able to... keep in contact somehow?" He laughed nervously. "I know I probably sound ridiculous, you can disregard what I'm saying if you wish. But if you've got some way of communication, I'd definitely stay in touch." She was one of the first people that could honestly say he'd miss them if they disappeared. He was used to friends going in and out of his life, but this was different. For once it wasn't his fault she might have to leave.

His expression slipped into an even deeper scowl when she told him that it was her father--how could a family member do such a thing? Then he reminded himself of Patrick and all of the things that he had done to make Josh's life a living hell. Hey, maybe it was an accident, he reminded himself. Parents were sometimes ignorant to large parts of their children's lives. But somehow he doubted that it hadn't been purposeful; if this person was that bad for Nell, how could a father not know? He was ignorant on the subject of her father and the sort of relationship they shared, however, so he decided not to involve himself further in that discussion. "If you don't know something, you shouldn't say anything at all." The strict words of his mother came back to him now. "Thanks," he said instead, then clarified, "for trusting me like that, I mean." He knew that he didn't seem like the best or most reliable person, so it was flattering that she would hold his trustworthiness in such high regards.

Weeks or months. It seemed like a long time to Joshua, especially since this wasn't a pleasant place like vacation or studying abroad. This was something bad, even though Nell was very obviously dancing around a direct answer. "That's alright," he promised her when she apologised for how cryptic she was being. Nell was making his gut twist like crazy, but he wasn't going to admit that because he didn't want to make her feel too guilty about this whole thing. "I understand that it might be something you don't want to talk about, and it was never my intentions to pry." He hoped that the fact he was being genuine shone through in his tone. He really didn't want the poor girl to feel like she was under pressure to tell him anything. His lack of direct honesty about the gang wouldn't allow him to press the subject. Honesty was a two-way street with Joshua--he knew that if you were going to trust him, it was probably for a reason. If he acted so shifty with her, there was no obligations for her not to do the same. "I hope you'll be alright, that's all." He wished there was more that he could do, but clearly there was not. Instead he just settled for watching the phone burn, lips twitching a little when she commented on the dramatics of the situation.

The words slipped off her tongue, and suddenly Nell's secret was out in the open. Whatever she'd been expecting from him--screaming, running, gasping?--the response was quite melodramatic in comparison. Joshua blinked quietly, taking in the fact that she'd said trial, then gave a bit of a start when Nell started to walk away. "Hey--where are you going?' He sounded concerned and a little surprised, but not upset. He certainly wasn't announcing the end to their friendship nor accusing her of being some sort of monster. Because Joshua had come to terms with the fact that his friend was not--could not be--a monster of any sort. No, she was just a friend, there was nothing more to it. So instead of allowing her to leave, Joshua kicked his senses into gear and moved to stop her from leaving. He wouldn't physically stop her if she was adamant, but he didn't want her to go. "Wait... please?" It was a quiet request.

Taking a deep breath, he steeled his thoughts for a confession of his own. "I know," Joshua said. He paused a little to let that sink in before he elaborated a little more. "I've known for a while now. I... you said something when you were upset that day on the grounds..." 'Upset' was an understatement, but it seemed a bit rude to say, 'when you were busy bawling your eyes out and suffering a mental breakdown'. It was almost comical, Joshua minding his manners around a girl who'd just outright admitted to matricide. "I didn't say anything because I didn't want to upset you. I figured there was something more behind it, because I may not know you all that well, but I'm confident in the belief that you are not a murderer. A killer, maybe, but there's a big difference." Gray eyes held her with a steady gaze. "You can leave if you want, but I'll still stick around if you'll be tolerant. This changes nothing, or I'd have left the moment I found out." Instead he had sat down beside her and comforted her. That was what he did for friends.

When Nell whacked his arm it was hardly enough to hurt, but it made him wince in surprise. "Ouch, Nell--what the heck?!" He rubbed his arm and glanced back at her, feeling a bit of temper but reminding himself that this was probably a shock to her and it wasn't her fault he had perhaps phrased that wrong. Taking another breath, he said, "I didn't think that was the best time to bring it up," Joshua explained defensively, taking a step back in case she was going to hit him again. It hadn't really had much of an effect, but the girl seemed to be in a strange mood and he wanted to be safe from her apparent mood swings. "You seemed really upset, I figured it was a bad idea to tell you. So I just... let you think that I believed that stuff about it being the war." He felt suddenly awkward as he admitted to having lied for the sake of her protection. He really just hadn't wanted her to get any worse than she had been. It had worked, at least. Pablo had helped--he wondered briefly how the little kitten was doing, but decided not to ask right at this moment. It was a bad time, just like it had been a bad time for him to admit that he'd known, so he'd put it off until she was ready to tell him. Which, apparently, had been this moment.

Call the police? A somewhat shocked expression flitted across his features as she caught him off guard; Joshua hadn't thought about calling the cops, nor was he about to start. "Why would I have done that?" he frowned, shaking his head a little. "You're my friend, Nell, friends generally don't phone the police on one another." Of course, this was usually over menial things like drunk driving and public indecency. Nell was a murderer, but he had long since told himself--stubborn as ever--that it could not be the same. Not Nell, not her. "I doubt they'd have listened to your side of the story, if you've got one to tell. Once they've made up their minds, they're made up." His expression darkened with memory for a moment, but it cleared quickly--he didn't want to impose his own past into this conversation. It was about Nell at the moment, he wasn't going to distract his friend with pointless things such as his own dealings with the police. She didn't know about them and it would take too long to explain. Instead, he merely finished, "I don't trust them. The thought never even crossed my mind." He didn't know just how deep the extent of Nell's trust went, but he was being fully honest and genuine with her at the moment.

He sighed slightly when she continued to freak out over his response, not seeming to grasp what he'd said. "I think there is," the Fire elemental said stubbornly, features slipping into a thoughtful frown at the moment. Should he try and explain his reasoning to her, or would it just fly right over her head? She didn't seem to be in the contemplative mood. Shrugging internally, he said, "It's only murder if you meant to kill." Gray eyes softened slightly as the frown cleared from his expression. There wasn't sympathy, just a sort of trust lingering in their depths. "I couldn't believe them when they said you'd murdered Cynthia, I don't even believe you killed Cynthia, so I'm not just going to jump to conclusions about you. You saved my life, after all." He hadn't really brought up the whole life saving thing until now. He knew that Nell thought little of it, but to Joshua it had sparked the belief that maybe he could extend some sort of trust toward her. That trust had expanded, and now he was fully ready and willing to stick with her even though they were debating her status as a killer versus murderer. Funny how these things work, eh? "Murderers take lives, they don't save them."

Folding his arms slightly, Joshua stared at her. It was not a cold stare, but a serious one. "I care," he said, his tone entirely level. He was hoping to convey just how genuine he was being. Glancing around to make sure there was no one else around, he gestured back in the direction of the park. "I can't think badly of you, Nell. I won't. So if you've got a story to tell, well... I'll listen." The fact that his friend was an illegal alien who'd border hopped to avoid the American government didn't even matter to him. The fact that it was his friend who had border-hopped changed everything. The law didn't matter when it came to how much his friends meant to him. She couldn't understand how difficult it was for him to genuinely form a friendship with someone. He wasn't going to get all mopey and confess that most of his friends didn't know a single thing about him--not even those he'd had since childhood, like Asha and Philomena. "You're my friend. I'm not going to run away because of this. If I'd planned to run, I would have already been gone." He stayed still for a moment, lips twitching wryly. "And I'm not going anywhere."

Nell seemed to be very confused by the whole thing, and when he thought about it Joshua decided that it did make perfect sense for her to be panicking a little at the moment. After all, Joshua had just confessed that he knew something about her which she had been certain would drive him away. "I won't pretend I didn't doubt speaking to you for a moment," he said slowly, feeling guilty for even admitting this. He had considered for a brief moment just walking away and contemplating what he'd heard. Would he have come to the same conclusion as he did after sitting there with her? Josh didn't know, for he had stayed and as of right now he did not regret the decision to. "But it was only for a moment. Then I remembered how nice you'd always been, and I..." He realised how ridiculous this must have sounded, and he ducked his head in embarrassment and rubbed at the back of his neck. "I decided that I trusted you, so I sat down." He had sat the entire time with the understanding that he had comforted a murderer. He'd bought a kitten for a murderer, had helped burn the pictures of a murderer. For all Joshua had known or cared, those pictures could have been the evidence to a crime. But he hadn't thought that deep into it because it didn't matter to him. He was complicated of mind and thought process, that was for sure.

"Of course." Joshua acknowledged the thanks with a dip of his head. He was glad that he had apparently made the right decision in waiting, and though he wondered for a moment how she might have reacted had she told him right then and there, he didn't ask. Like so many other things, it didn't matter to Joshua. Nell didn't seem to understand him--hell, he didn't understand himself sometimes. "But they would have arrested you," he frowned when she said that it would have been normal to call the cops. He didn't care that she was technically calling him abnormal, it was hardly the worst of things he'd been accused of. "I didn't know the whole story, I had--still have--no right to make the assumptions." It was another reason why Cynthia's apparent 'murder' by Nell's hand had infuriated him so much. "Look at Cyn. All of those people were ready to go for the throat, but I trusted you. And I was right to trust you." He hoped that she understood what he was trying to convey. Not everything is what it seems on the surface. Joshua would sometimes be quick to judge someone, but if you were his friend it was like budging a mountain.

He nodded in agreement. "No, I didn't." Her story was something that had been debatable, a giant gray area in his brain up until now. "But I was willing to wait and see." If Nell confessed to being some psychotic serial killer, maybe then he would leave. If it was bad enough he might even be forced to phone the police if he felt like his family would be in any danger. But there was no way that he could convince himself that this girl--who had always been sweet to him even when he was being a total douchebag--could be a cold-blooded killer. He frowned stubbornly when she protested to his reasoning. "That's true," he admitted, "but there's always a reason, even if it's not the right one. Even murderers have reasons, and I still don't think you as a murderer." The difference for him lay in the arms of regret and sorrow. If it had been an accident, you'd feel bad about it for the rest of your life. If you were a murderer and had planned to be one, you'd feel nothing. That was how he defined the difference.

A hollow laugh sounded when she next spoke. "No one does, don't feel too bad." He wasn't an easy shell to crack because there were so many layers and sides to his personality. Joshua supposed that most everyone save for the shallowest of people were like this--just when you thought you had their personality figured out, another few pieces to the puzzle started to emerge. Of all the people he'd met and interacted with, no one had ever accused him of being predictable. Only his mother seemed to have a strange intuition about him, and that was a 'mom thing', or so he assumed. She offered to sit and he nodded in agreement, heading over to the bench and sitting down. "Say as much or as little as you want, I'm listening." The most remarkable thing was that he wasn't even considering what would happen if she turned out to be heartless, because Josh didn't think she had it in her to be so cruel. He was preparing for the understanding phase. He had already convinced himself that she hadn't meant to kill, Joshua was just waiting for Nell to confirm it.

Joshua nodded slowly--he did understand. Perhaps not the sort of understanding that came from mimicked experience, but he could at least guess at her astonishment when people had taken her side in the war. If you were on the run for murder and accused of another one you were innocent of in the process, it probably didn't do much for your self confidence. "First time I've really seen eye to eye with the Water element," he said, a bleak attempt to make light of the situation with a smile for added effect. "As for me, well, I just stuck to instinct." It wasn't like he could brag that he was an excellent judge of character or anything--far from it--but he'd known immediately after the announcement of the war whose side he'd be taking. He hadn't known she was a matricide back then, true, but he could always have switched sides and betrayed her after he'd found out. That is, he could have done so if it fitted his personality; seeing as it didn't, the point was invalid. His mind was made up about the death of Cynthia. He'd been right, but he'd stuck by Nell even when there had been gray areas and murky spots in the water.

On the subject of trust, however, it seemed that they could relate. She hadn't known a lot of it either, apparently, something that surprised him giving how good a person she appeared to be on the surface. Nevertheless, his smile was a bit more genuine now as he replied, "Yeah, me neither. I guess that's something we've got in common, huh?" It felt strange to be relating himself to someone else, but at the same time it wasn't a bad feeling. Finding a joint feeling of mistrust toward the world meant that they understood one another somehow, at least in some aspects. "I trust you, though," he said quietly. He was now acknowledging aloud that he felt more comfortable with Nell than with most people. Sure, he hadn't told her about his past yet but he'd still confessed more about the gang to her than he ever had to even his parents. He'd just shook his head whenever Donovan or Patricia tried to press him, indicating that it wasn't something he was comfortable discussing. That, however, was mainly because he didn't want them to know what a mess their son had made of himself.

He nodded sympathetically when she said that it was hard. On this he was unable to relate, but he'd supply the support if she needed a shoulder to cry on, be that literally or figuratively. He hadn't stalked off when she'd been sobbing and sniffling next to him, now had he? It made him awkward when people started to cry around him, but that didn't mean he was insensitive, just... confused. He wasn't used to sobbing so he just usually dealt with it in the best way he knew how: comfort or ignorance. Mind you, he was insensitive when it came to strangers. His difficulty in connecting his emotions with others meant that sobbing strangers usually didn't affect him. He didn't mean to be so cold, he just had a hard time with feeling anything. Friends, though, well, when they cried it was at least a reminder he was human. He felt for his friends. "I think that's the best compliment I've gotten," he chuckled, though he wasn't kidding. He wasn't an easily complimentable person. There was just so much... wrong with him. Well, perhaps not Joshua himself, but at least the way he handled things.

He waited patiently for Nell to sit down, and once she had he listened just as quietly to her story. Instead of words, his reactions throughout the retelling were mainly via expression. Shock, horror, distress, disgust toward the idea of her family betraying her as they had. He thought of Patrick and how the man had tried to have him killed, but that was different. That was only one family member. He worked his jaw nervously when she'd finished, uncertain of how to really express his current feelings toward her. Taking a deep breath and wanted to convey just how sincere he was, he leaned over and wrapped his arms around her for a moment. Finding his voice, he said, "Nell, I am so sorry that you had to go through that." He pulled back, expression distressed. "How could I ever think of you as a murderer?" He honestly didn't see how anyone could blame someone for having their own damned mother try to take their life. The thought of Trish coming at him with a knife was one that he did not want to entertain under any circumstance.

As for the trial, that was just horrible. Why? Why would they make someone who had already gone through so much suffer even further? It made him sick, angry, confused, and he could only imagine what Nell was feeling if it could provoke such a reaction with him. "So they're going to force you to go," he realised, shaking his head. "God, that's terrible. Do you have a lawyer? Any evidence against your mother?" He had never studied law or anything of the sort, but he had brief knowledge of police trials from television and books (true crime, usually, as law books themselves weren't something he'd ever read). He hoped that everything went well for Nell at the trial but he understood that these things had a potential to go either way if the sides had money. "I'll still keep in contact, I swear. Even if..." He didn't want to acknowledge it, but since they both knew it was a possibility now... "Even if things go wrong."