JUST WAITING FOR THE FALL,, josh

[I don't even--my muse is insane. Disregard the length. Please. o.O I got to play vulnerable and badass in the same post and I think his muse liked that... a lot... There is no way in hell I'll be able to match it again if you do xD]

For the first time in a long time, Joshua could truly say that he hated having classes. Not because the workload was too much or he sat with some annoying people who talked too much, but because any time he spent in class was time that could not be spent making sure that his former Alliance hadn't succeeded in their goal. He was so worried for Nell from the things he was hearing through other people that he could barely concentrate in his first class of the morning. His hand was clenched so tightly on the desk that his knuckles were bleached white and his arm was trembling a little from the pressure. Gray eyes glared at the clock and willed the hands to just move already. Please, just move. "Dale!" The sound of his name actually made him jump for once. He had never been a very jittery person, but he was so off in his own world that this had done it. "What did I just ask you?" The Fire graduate blinked. He asked me something? Unfortunately, his subconscious could not help by providing the question to him, so he was forced to admit, "I... I don't know, sir." The critical glare of the professor made him very aware of the fact that his face was heating up and that people were staring. Some seemed surprised, others smug, some were outright leering at him. Others didn't care, and he found himself respecting those people in his very self-conscious moment. The professor glowered for a moment longer, then repeated, "In what way did the elementals influence the second World War?" Thank the heavens that this was Elemenetal History--it was one of his favourite classes. Josh ducked his head in embarrassment and gave the answer, finally getting relief when the professor nodded sharply. "Pay attention," he snapped. "I expected better from you." Josh winced a little. "Y-Yeah, of course," Josh responded, then exhaled in relief when he finally moved on to grilling the next person.

The rest of the class passed by with the same eerie tension, but he did not allow it to distract him again. He was at least ready for the next pop question thrown his way, not missing the fact that the professor seemed to have done it on purpose, but it did little to reassure him. It was rare to put other priorities above his grades, but the fact that Nell's life was in danger was probably the clincher for this one. If it had just been some stupid argument and they were aiming to intimidate her for a while... well, of course he still would have cared, but he'd have likely remained neutral in the war and would have been more more able to concentrate on his classes. The bell finally chimed loudly through the halls, and since this class was so close to the bell tower he could have sworn he saw the glass paperweight on the teachers desk vibrating a tiny amount. Joshua stood up and packed his things back into his back, but he was no less than a couple of feet outside the safety of the classroom when a Thunder student shoved him into the wall. "Nice going in class today, bookworm," he sneered. "Or can we still call you that? Dale seems like a bit of a nancy, cracking under pressure like that." His friends jeered but did not move to form a group attack. They were all sophomores of course, so he was a little more hesitant to fight back against the group of them than he would have been if they'd been younger than him. "Oh, just piss off," he snapped irritably. "I don't think I want to," one of them said slowly, as if he was actually thinking about it. "I think I want the answers to the tests on Friday, actually," he added. "Think you can do that for me, O Smart One?" It was clearly a taunt, and he sneered at Josh and shoved him again. The Fire student clenched his jaw. I swear, if I get you alone... But they weren't alone, unfortunately. "No, I don't think I can do that," he replied. "Unlike you lot, I actually study to keep my grades up. I'm not going to help you cheat." This didn't deter them, not that he'd thought it would.

Josh was outnumbered enough that he'd more likely than not emerge the loser if this came down to fighting. He understood this, and it most definitely didn't make him feel any better about his situation as they fanned out a tiny bit to block off any escape routes. This is bad, he acknowledged, but he didn't attempt to make a break for it just yet. He'd have to fight them if he did. "I think you are," the primary assailant said darkly. Joshua could feel the static in the air start to increase. Oh god, this was worse than bad. They were going to force him into it, weren't they? He didn't want to admit his fear, but he swore his heart must have skipped a beat. Should I run? Fight? Fuck, this is so bad. His mouth was dry and made swallowing difficult. It was a bad time to be having flashbacks, but this just reminded him so much of the hard times he'd had in elementary school. If public school bullies were bad, those in private schools weren't much better. They all came from wealthy backgrounds so there was already a sense of egotism--the fact that they banded together in groups much like this one hadn't made it any better. He'd always been the one they went after if they wanted 'help' on a test. He'd given in a few times out of cowardice--he was still ashamed of those times--but mostly he'd refused, and that had usually ended in what he believed was referred to as 'circle' beating. Not a very nice way to end the day. He was too ashamed of his losing of the fights to tell his father about them, and usually 'admitted' to being an instigator or at least active participant when the bruises came under question. If it was ever brought up at school, Joshua had no friends to speak of that would back up his side of the story. He'd even been expelled from one school because he'd broken a boy's arm. He hadn't meant to do it! They had grabbed him and he'd panicked. "You're going to give us the fucking answers, or we're going to have to extract them from you. We could always drag you off to Blackthorn and your Fire buddies, Dale. I'm sure they'd love to have a chat." The laughter of the group and the snide comment jerked Josh back to harsh reality.

He knew what that was implying. 'If you try to fight us because your powers are stronger, we'll just throw you to the wolves that can match your strength.' He winced slightly and clenched his jaw as the boy readied a fist and feinted a punch, the group laughing at his automatic reaction. "Scared of me, huh?" The Thunder boy was gloating now. "Where are we, grade school?" Josh said with stupid bravery. Alright, so maybe he was more proud than brave--he hated having to admit that he was scared, so he was trying to deflect. "Must be, 'cause I think there are a few key lessons you still need to learn. Like what happens when you fuck with us." As cheesy and stupid as this sounded, it still managed to be intimidating when it was accompanied by a sharp shock from one of the boys. Not their leader, it seemed, for he snapped, "Back the fuck off, you'll get your turn if Dale doesn't cooperate." He raised his fist again, grasping the collar of Josh's shirt and pulling it back. Joshua thought about trying to struggle away and bolt, but he knew that wouldn't be very effective. "What do you say, Dale?" he sneered. "Going to play nice now or am I going to have to hurt you?" Josh could hear his heart pounding rapidly from the blood rushing in his ears. The Academy were serious about grades and he would lose any chances of staying at the top of his class if he was caught giving out the answers. But if he didn't... Joshua stared apprehensively at the boy's meaty fist. That was going to hurt. A lot. His breath hitched in his throat. "I... I can't," he said, and cringed as he waited for the fist to connect with his face.

But it never did. "HEY!" He'd never been more grateful for the interception of a teacher in his entire time at the Academy. Usually it was Josh getting in trouble for going after someone, but this time it served to make the Thunder students back off almost immediately. The boy holding him let go and took a few paces back, the way they moved backward as a group reminding him of a fucking wolf pack, a pack of predators. Their leader narrowed his eyes at Josh in a clear sign to indicate that this wasn't over, and then they all backed off. Joshua just stood there for a moment, breathing, trying to calm himself down. "Uh, thanks," he said to the professor grudgingly, though he didn't look at him. Jesus, this was so embarrassing. Not only did he make a fool out of himself in class, but now he was being singled out as weak and vulnerable as well. "Is that why you're so distracted in class, Josh?" the professor asked him, frowning. "Have they done this before?" No, they hadn't. They hadn't messed with him because they were afraid of him. He could take on a few Thunder students all on his own, and he'd always had the entirety of the Fire element to back him up if he started flagging. Now he didn't have that protection, and so they pounced. Joshua probably could have asked the Earth elementals to help him out of a tight spot, but he was too proud to beg for help. "Um, no, sir," he said truthfully. "This is the first time they've... yeah." His face turned red and he glanced away again. "I was just distracted, with the war and everything..." He trailed off, hating that he had to admit to all of this. But the older man seemed to understand. "I suppose that makes sense," he decided fairly. "But do try to keep up with my classes, Dale." Josh just nodded. Please leave me alone now. To his utmost relief, the professor only lingered for a moment longer before he started off down the hall. Josh took the opposite direction for the sole purpose of avoiding further chat.

Well shit. Where was he going to go now? Joshua had no idea where the Thunder students had gone off to, but he knew that this wasn't going to be their first and only attempt to goad him into doing their bidding. Throughout the years he'd never realised just how much the reputation of a Fire student could do for him in terms of protection from the Thunder element. He'd never been victimised much here because the usual assailants were of Thunder and Fire--Fire were his allies by default, and Thunder were theirs. But now... God, I hate this war. He was wandering around aimlessly and panicking at the slightest of sounds when a tiny Earth freshman rushed up to him, nearly making him jump out of his skin. The boy kept his distance and seemed quite intimidated, but there was something about the panic in his expression that made Joshua stop from snapping at him to go away. "What?" he asked instead. It wasn't the nicest of inquiries but considering his jittery mood it was quite an impressive show of self-control (for once). "I-It's Nell," the freshman stammered, and instantly Joshua was on full alert, gray gaze sharpening as he listened closer. "S-She was walking and they--they attacked her and--" Joshua held up his hands to caution the boy. "Calm down," he suggested, "Speak slowly." He didn't want to waste too much time over the stammering and blathering. "Fire students," he said. "I-I'm only a freshman and I'm an E-Earth student and you're n-not so I thought that--"

"Where?"

The student pointed down to the end of the hall. "T-Take a left," he said nervously, but only watched as Joshua took off with a fast stride. Running would only drain his energy. He didn't blame the freshman for not opting to follow him--Fire students could be dangerous to be around when they fought. Thank goodness that they hardly did. When he rounded the corner, Joshua immediately spotted the two culprits. "Cowards," he spat, "can't you face someone on your own?" He was especially sensitive to the subject of double-teaming considering what he'd just went through with the group of Thunder elementals. He noticed that the two seemed uninjured and wondered why Nell had not defended herself, but that didn't really matter as he glared down his new opponents. "Take me on if you've got the balls, why don't you?" This gained a reaction out of both of them. "I haven't got any balls to begin with, Dale, I'm a girl. Are you going blind?" The girl sneered at him, whilst the male seemed affronted. "Dale! You traitor!" Josh just snorted. "What, didn't get Blackthorn's memo?" he shot back. "The whole 'dead meat' thing? I might be in for it, but I'm sure as hell not letting you do anything to her." He nodded at Nell to indicate whom he was speaking of, not that it had really been necessary. The fact that he hadn't joined in on the beating had pretty much indicated whose side he was on for this fight.

He sent a blast of fire toward the male first, distracting him for long enough that the girl stepped forward with an attack of her own. Instead of dodging it, Joshua lifted a hand and literally reversed the control of the fire over to his own pyrokinesis and sent it back toward her. The unexpected attack hit its mark dead on and caused her to shriek in surprise and pain. Assuming control of another elementals power was difficult and drained your energy, but it was worth it for the fear that it instilled. They were outmatched now that he was in the picture, they both realised this. The boy had gotten off better than his partner considering the hit hadn't been direct, and since Joshua was all about equality he blasted him again and then readied another swirling mass of fire. "Had enough, or would you like to keep going?" Taking the hint, they backed off pretty quickly and Joshua dispersed the fire with a relieved exhale. Fuck, his energy was beginning to seriously take a hit. The powerful shock from the Thunder elemental at his own level of power had only had half of the effect considering Joshua's advantage, but that coupled with the fact that he'd gotten little sleep, was already having a bad day, and was using more energy than usual because of his anger made it noticeable, even to the boy himself. "Fuck those assholes," he snarled, then turned to Nell. "Sorry I couldn't have got here sooner," he said, regret true in his tone. "I got a little, ah, held up in class."

He left it at that, however, when he saw the burns on Nell's skin. "Jesus," he breathed, then narrowed his eyes with concentration. "Hold still, I can fix that." He focused on the burn and on his powers at the same time, then repeated the mantra of his elemental professor from previous years. That which we inflict, we can repair. That was it, right? Something like that... There was a soft burst of scarlet, and then the burns started to reverse--when he was finished, there was only a slight reddish discolouration. "Nothing I can do about that, though," he said apologetically. It looked like a sunburn and would sting like one too for a while, but at least there was no permanent damage. Burn scars weren't the prettiest things if you didn't catch them in time. Joshua was now at about half his normal strength, and he knew he'd be screwed if the Thunder students came back. Especially if they had Fire elementals with them. "Do you... want to get away from school for a while?" he suggested almost hopefully. "We could hang out or something... change of scenery..."

He didn't believe for a second that Nell had been about to fight the two Fire students, but his lips twitched for her benefit, seeing that she seemed to be trying to lighten the mood. The mood couldn't be brightened even if they dragged the sun down to the Earth to hang over their situation. This was war, and they were trying to kill her. But Joshua would at least make an attempt, for Nell's sakes. He couldn't just imagine what it felt like for people to hunt you down--he knew what it felt like. So he sympathised with her on so many levels right now that it was actually making him dizzy. He still wasn't used to this whole 'protective' thing expanding outside of his sister and parents. "Of course," he said, dipping his head in acceptance of the thanks. "I could never just stand there and let them do something like that; I chose your side for a reason, after all." He offered her a smile, but it was grim and tinged with something a tad too serious. Even when he was trying to look cheery, he managed to fail miserably and slip back into a constant state of gloom. It wasn't his fault that this sucked, though. "I'm guessing they just attacked you out of nowhere, huh?" Normally there had to be a reason for instigating the fight, but right now the whole war was reason enough for anyone to attack. "Jerks. I don't know either of them well, but it makes me sick to see people I used to be allied with stooping this low."

Not that other elements were completely innocent. Water was especially spiteful when the Fire element riled them up enough. He could still remember when they'd flooded the dormitories and everyone had gotten sick and their powers had stopped working for a few weeks. That had made Josh panic something terrible. First of all, drowning was his worst nightmare. When water had started pouring through the sanctuary of the Fire dormitories, he'd probably been one of the first to try and barricade himself into his dormitory in fear of it. It had been hot water, too, thanks to the absolute heat of the dorms. Despite the efforts of everyone to get out of the way, it had poured through the smallest of cracks under doors and filled the rooms with teasing slowness. That had been hell. He had literally thought he'd lost his affinity for Fire by the end of it. He'd stayed to attend his non-elemental classes, but a lot of the students had dropped out or gone home. So it wasn't just his element that could go too far... but there was a serious difference between a massive and dangerous prank and murder.

He was stubborn as usual, however, when Nell expressed more concern for his own exhaustion than her well-being. "Sure I should have," he argued, but it was not a fierce argument. "The Medical Wing is insane, I was up there with Elaine the other day. It's packed. You'd have to have waited for hours." He was quiet for a moment as he thought of how to word what he was going to say next. As it was, he started slowly and spoke with hesitance, "Besides, I don't think you can go to the Medical Wing, Nell." His tone was full of regret and apology, even if it wasn't his fault. "Even if I went with you, if a bunch of your own element went... there are always a large crowd there. It's a sanctuary, but you walking in there? It's like painting a target on your back and standing in the shooting range." Translating to, 'Not a good idea. At all.' "I've just had a bit of an off day for stamina, that's all," he assured her. It was only partially a lie, but he certainly didn't include the fact that he had a bunch of Thunder graduates planning to hunt him down. "And just leaving it would be a horrible idea," he frowned. "That's needless torture of yourself. No way I'd let you do that." Even the idea of it displeased him.

He winced. It was true, he was going to have to skive off a couple of his lessons in order to get away from the school. It didn't sound right, and that was because it wasn't. He never skipped classes, it was like a sort of taboo for him unless he was ill or, like when he was recovering from the assault, seriously injured. "I just need to get away from the Academy for a while," he said, swallowing because his throat was dry and he was nervous as he made up excuses for why he wanted to run away from here as fast as fucking possible. He hoped that Nell wouldn't insist on staying at the Academy, because then he'd feel the need to stick around and protect her and that would be like painting a target on the both of them. And then she agreed that it would be nice to get away, and he had to make his breath of relief seem subtle as he nodded. "Okay. Where should we go?" He really hadn't thought that far yet. All that had been on his mind was, 'Out. Now.'

Nell suggested a playground, and though this surprised him for a moment he was not going to object. "I wouldn't call you childish," Joshua promised. "I think it's a good idea. There won't be anyone to bother us there." So he smiled with a little less difficulty this time and nodded in the direction closest to the exit, leading the way. "There's a park near where I live," he said as they walked, his tone neutral but leaning toward a lightness that wasn't usually there. It was the relief doing that, he supposed. He was trying to distract himself from the horrors of the war by focusing on nice things like parks and playgrounds. "It's got a forest and a playground and a fountain and a bunch of other stuff. I wouldn't mind just... spending the day there." He paused thoughtfully. "It's in the nicer area of town, too, so I doubt many of my former allies would think to go there. They aren't in a cheery mood, I wouldn't think." His tone was wry and accompanied by an almost sad smile.

Joshua sighed, nodding slightly. It did make sense that they would see this as some sick and twisted way of 'getting back' at Nell, but it didn't make their actions any more justified. "They're still assholes," Josh muttered, shaking his head. "I'd love to give them all a taste of my power, but I'm not stupid enough to think I'm invincible." It was an admission of some sort of weakness--or at least admitting that he lacked immunity. It might have seemed like common sense, but it was a show of trust whenever Josh Dale let his guard down around someone. Even if it was as subconscious as it was now. "Fire students don't always need a reason for violence," he acknowledged grudgingly, even though he once would have had some sort of defence for the side he was allied with. ("Not all of them are bad!"). "But even for them, this is new." He'd never truly seen Fire students turn on their own, but then he reminded himself that he never really paid attention to the in-depth politics in times of war. And 'turning on your allies' usually just meant sitting out from a war and claiming to be neutral due to separate loyalties. People didn't often actually fight on the other side. When anyone brought murder into the picture, however, it changed things. Josh could acknowledge this. He understood why they attacked him, he just didn't like it. He did not understand how they could think that Nell was guilty. It was... Nell. She was just too innocent for that.

Nell seemed so concerned for Elaine--he would have smiled at her if he'd had the energy to make an effort. "She's okay," was the first thing he said, reassuring Nell almost in the same way he always tried to make light of a situation for his sister's sake. But at the same time it was very different; he shielded Annabel, whereas he was just trying to make sure that Nell didn't worry too much. She wasn't blind to the evils of the world, he didn't need to provide a barrier for innocence that was already shattered. "Some fucking Thunder student messed her up a little." He was silent for a moment, then, "I broke his arm." It was as simple as that, stated matter-of-fact and without regrets. You didn't hurt his friends, he wouldn't let you hurt his friends. Seething for a moment longer, Joshua's expression was all scowl and no brightness. "I hate even the idea of someone going after Elaine," he spat. "She's neutral--she told me so herself! I just don't get why those stupid assholes like to go after her all the time! Do they think picking on the blind girl makes them look tough? Bunch of fucking cowards." A wave of extreme heat swept the hall, and he winced a little as he remembered Nell's weakness to Fire. "Shit, sorry." The apology was both sincere and effortless this time around. The war really was erasing all of their usual awkwardness, but it came at a terrible price.

His expression could only be described as grim as he nodded slightly. It was sad to think that the one place in the Academy that was supposed to be safe wouldn't even harbour Nell. "I wish there was something I could do about it, but..." He trailed off, and the message was clear enough: 'there isn't'. "Though honestly if it was bad enough, there's always the hospital in Maple Hollow. I know you'd be safe there. They just couldn't heal any elemental wounds like the Academy can." He could guarantee safety at Maple Hollow's medical centre because he knew that his father would never refuse to have someone treated if they were a friend of his son's. Josh and Donovan shared a very strange relationship indeed. "Let's just hope it doesn't come to that." Really, right now hope was all that they had. Their situation was so incredibly bleak and frightening that they just had to put all of their hopes into the 'what ifs' and the 'hopefullys'.

It displeased him that she treated her injuries so lightly, spoke of 'walking them off' as if it was nothing. He usually didn't give a rat's ass how someone treated their medical history, but since this was Nell and he was actually warming up to her, the whole 'giving a damn' thing kept getting in the way. "You should care a lot more than you seem to," he said stubbornly, frowning. It wasn't fair to her, having all of these people out for her blood, but that didn't mean she should just walk around with a bunch of cuts, bruises, and burn marks. He could take care of any burns but he really didn't know any Thunder elemental with healing capabilities that was on their side. Damn it, this sucked so much. "One injury might not seem like much but they'll stack, and that won't be good. Not to mention infections, blood loss, weakness..." He closed his mouth for a minute to stop himself from going on a tangent about how dangerous it was to just leave wounds hanging. He may have seemed like a hypocrite considering how fast he'd taken the bandage off of his horrid injuries, but it was different somehow. He had a doctor in the family that would easily be able to tell him if something was going wrong and would be able to fix it just as quick. Nell...

He realised then that he knew absolutely nothing of her family, save for the fact that she 'used to' have a sister, implying that they'd either lost contact or there had been a death in the family. He'd dropped it at that, and he certainly wasn't going to bring it back up yet just in case it was a sensitive subject. But she never mentioned any parents or other siblings, and he knew that she lived alone. I wonder why...? Wondering but never asking. It seemed to be a daily occurrence between the two--well, at least once every time they were in company of one another. The war was eliminating a lot of the discomfort, but the lack of knowledge and trust was still there. He realised with an oddly sick feeling that she knew much more about him than he did about her, and this frightened him. He'd crossed a line, there. He'd sworn to himself that he'd never tell anyone anything unless he got some information in return and knew that they couldn't use it against him. But Nell? Nell...? I don't know anything. Shit! Suddenly he didn't feel so good.

She managed to snap him out of it momentarily by going on about the park that he'd mentioned, but though he was listening and nodding and seemed whole-heartedly as if he was paying attention to her, his mind was truly somewhere else. Oh god, oh shit. Breathe, Joshua, breathe. Let's just hope he didn't go into a panic attack or anything--that would have been a give-away. "There was a park like that near m--the apartment. It definitely didn't look like a good place for kids to hang around." No, it was usually stoners and homeless folk that frequented those parks. Parents would sooner take their kids for a walk to the schoolyard than the putrid and disgusting parks of which Nell spoke. But this park was clean and breathtaking, the pride of Maple Hollow's upper-class neighbourhood. He sometimes went there with the family dog and Annabel would tag along. They'd let Quartz run around and they'd sit on the playground equipment--not really doing anything, just sitting there from the higher vantage point and talking. He loved his little sister, he really did. "Really?" He was surprised that she'd learned her Earthen powers in one of those shitty parks rather than somewhere more... suitable. He'd known she hadn't attended the Academy, but... "I just went to the school--why didn't you go? Didn't they ever ask? They're supposed to contact any elemental when they turn fourteen if their parents don't enrol them." He didn't have a fancy story about the serious business agents that showed up at the door--Donovan and Patricia had registered his name in the Academy roster since birth, and when his powers did surface he'd been sent off the minute the year turned prime.

Joshua offered to drive, and this time it was a much different car that greeted them in the parking lot. He felt strangely self-conscious as he unlocked the doors and held the passenger side open for Nell--it was an old habit of politeness that had been drilled into him by his parents to impress their friends at the parties and galas. He barely thought about it any more. But that wasn't what was making him feel strange--it was the fact that the sleek black vehicle was an incredibly expensive sports car that made him conscious of the fact that it was so noticeable. His father had given him back the keys almost immediately after he'd paid him back (even though Don had never actually asked for the 'stolen' money). He suspected that Donovan had just been keeping them out of spite and thus had been guilted into handing them back once his son displayed some sign of regret.

He was much more pleasant company on the drive this time around, turning on the radio (though he kept it low so that they could still hear one another) and keeping up conversation about silly things like classes and parks and random things. He told Nell about how Annabel thought she was pretty and how it had popped up randomly in conversation, told her of how he'd officially moved back into his parents' house, pointless things that didn't reveal too much but still helped to fill silences that would otherwise have turned awkward. And then they were pulling into the wide parking lot across the road from the park, and he got out of the car with a, "So what should we do first? The playground is over that way." He pointed, shielding his eyes from the sun to the snow-covered equipment. He could fix any issues of cold and wetness, though.

Joshua was surprised to see Nell get defensive over Elaine--at least in the threatening sense, that is. He was accustomed to the fact that she was an Earth student and a pacifist, that she likely wasn't going to fight back against anyone unless it was literally a life or death situation. So hearing her make threats against those that challenged Elaine made his lips twitch slightly. "It's good to know she has people looking out for her," he said, sounding softly relieved about this. By 'people', he was obviously indicating those other than himself. He wondered where Alex stood in all of this. Elaine had confessed that he was the reason she wouldn't outright oppose the Fire and Thunder elementals, and so he wondered whether Mr. Jackass would step up and defend the Wind girl if the situation called for it. He was sure quick enough to call exile on a few of his own. I wouldn't put it past him to ignore her pain. Joshua wasn't too offended that he'd been kicked out--as well as a few others like Harley--but it made him doubt Alex Blackthorn's decency. He didn't trust the guy, never had, and he certainly didn't trust him around Elaine. "She's tough, but there are some situations that would just... be too much." He didn't like to bring this up around Elaine because he didn't want the girl to think he was calling her weak, or any less capable than someone else. But her wind sight was necessary in a fight and thus would drain her energy faster. If two or more attacked at once, she'd be at a severe disadvantage. So he'd protect her from a distance if he had to.

At her question on the hospital, he only gave a subtle dip of his head. Again he felt a mild prickle of discomfort, but then he reminded himself that she already knew that part of his life, he didn't have the ability nor the need to hide from it any longer. Still, there was a part of him that regretted revealing such things as the wealth and status of his parents, that the gang which had attacked him he had previous connections with. For what did he have in return to nail her with if it came to a battle of blackmail? Joshua was always suspicious in some way, always. She wasn't from Canada, but that wasn't enough. So what? It wasn't like she fucking border hopped or anything--the school probably handled her crossing into the country like they did for most of their international students. Basically, he felt backed into a corner by all of the information he'd leaked out. However, they were in a war and thus he forced himself to push this to the back of his mind. She said she wouldn't let it come to that and he winced a little in hesitation. "Nell," he sighed, trying to choose his words carefully. "They don't always fight fair. They might... well, there were only two this time, but I've seen worse. You might not have a choice." Again he felt bad about pointing out disadvantages, but there was no use in just keeping his mouth shut.

She dug an even deeper hole for herself when she started insisting that she'd been through worse, that she was desensitised, that she could handle it. And he didn't like this at all. He was astounded as usual by how much it bothered him, but he merely shook his head before speaking to Nell. "I can believe you've been through hell," he said slowly--and he could, for why would someone lie? "but so have I, and you don't see me passing off every injury as unimportant." Well, he was sort of lying through his teeth there. The shock had not burned him with electricity, but it sure as hell left a lingering pain on his shoulder. And he'd did his best to shirk off the severity of the knife wounds. But there was a difference--he could get all of his wounds treated by simple request to his father that they take a trip down to the hospital for the bad ones. Smaller injuries could be treated right at home. Unless Nell was hiding some doctor family that she hadn't mentioned, Josh didn't think she had that luxury. "That's right, you're not invincible," he agreed a little sharply, "and I'm worried about how far you'll let something go before you do get help." He could deal with minor things. He knew how to treat infections, bandage wounds, create a tourniquet if needed. Donovan had taught him the basics of such things for if he sustained injury while away from home. But he couldn't stitch wounds, didn't have the necessary medical supplies to do most anything, and they were practically forbidden from the medical wing. This was why Nell's words bothered him.

Then she thanked him for caring, and his fierce attitude softened with surprise. Yeah, that was right. He did care. He was still getting used to it, but he did. The desire to protect her was almost funny when he considered that she'd been needing protection from him the day they'd met, brandishing his switchblade and making threats. He would have done it, too. But not now. Now the only reason he'd be using the knife would be to threaten cutting the throats of any that tried to take her out permanently. "Any time," he said, and with the awkwardness this brought into the situation Josh fell silent and left it at that.

Nell asked him how he was doing, and all manner of hypocrisy came back as he shrugged and said predictably, "I'm fine." There was never anything seriously wrong with Joshua, heaven forbid. He'd gotten so close to admitting true weakness when she'd seen him at his apartment--damn it, there was the panic again! She knew too much, far too much and it was strangling his nerves to death. There was also the attack from the Thunder students, but she wasn't aware of that and he certainly wasn't planning to tell her when he was in this much of a panic. He could literally feel it fluttering in his chest and severely hoped he wouldn't start breathing quickly and shaking. Panic attacks were a rare occurrence for Joshua, he usually didn't allow himself to lose composure, but they had certainly happened before. "I don't need the medical wing, I've got a doctor for a father, remember?" Damn it, don't lose control now. "And I certainly think that making sure nothing goes wrong at school is more important than resting at home right now."

'It's complicated'?

So she didn't want to talk about it. Normally that was fine, normally Joshua would be able to nod with clear conscience and move on. But normally people knew nothing about him in return. This sucked. Even still, he did force the nod and further still demanded that he not pursue to the subject. If Nell didn't want to talk, that was Nell's choice. He'd just have to be more careful about what he said in return. She complimented his car and he chuckled a bit, the sound a tad strained. "It was a gift," he said, not going into specifics because he was still very distracted by his fighting of the panic. Damn it, he felt like a child. He was being stupid about this whole thing--he knew that, but he couldn't shake it.

Nell seemed very excited about the playground, something that surprised him a little. He had known that it was her suggestion and all, but he hadn't guessed at just how eager she would be. Still, something about it made him almost smile. Maybe he could relax if he just focused on the here and now rather than what she knew of him and what he didn't of her. Calm down, he thought, placating himself. He followed more slowly, but he was still near enough to catch the question about his sister. "Sometimes," he nodded. "You can walk to my house from here... well, it's a bit of a distance, but it's not alarmingly far." He paused after he said this, analyzing. But no, there were a lot of homes which you could walk to from the park. She wouldn't be able to guess which of the many it was. Plus, the home had a front gate and a large driveway that led into the garage, it wasn't like she could spot his car parked outside and pin it. Of course not, don't be ridiculous.

The monkey bars were situated close to the swings--they were meant for children or at least shorter teenagers, so he was literally taller than the equipment by a small amount. He grasped one of the bars and move to sit on top of the structure. As uncomfortable as it was on the backside, the bench was too far away to sit and talk normally, so he made do with their surroundings. "I hope I didn't make you miss any important classes by coming with me," he mused--of course he'd think about class at a time like this.

Joshua blinked when she told him that she had his back as well. It really shouldn't have surprised him considering they were on the same side in this war and that he was protecting her, but the rush of strange and foreign gratitude that smacked into his chest when he heard the words astounded him. See, Josh wasn't used to having people on his side. Even his 'friends', people like Jake that he got along with... they usually weren't privy to the dangers that he was facing and the things that he had to deal with involving the gang and his parents and the people that attacked him as those Thunder kids just had. He'd never really had anyone to look out for him. He ducked his head a little, suddenly sheepish. "I... yeah, thanks," he said, embarrassed by how flustered that made him. He recovered quickly however, clearing his throat and saying, "Same goes for you, of course. I mean I've already been doing what I can, but... I'm definitely on your side. War or otherwise." He supposed that he just needed to further vocalise his loyalty to Nell. The fact that he was a Fire student with a reputation for shiftiness and violence made him assume that Nell might not trust him as much as he believed he could be trusted, so it was always a good time to remind her that he wasn't planning to back out or anything. "As for your language," he added, using humour to clear up any awkwardness, "you've never heard me on a bad day." Well, no. She'd heard him drunk, and that was much worse. But the fact that Josh remembered only the haziest of details from this night (and almost nothing about the confrontation itself) meant that it was all null and void in his thoughts.

It made him angrier than it should have, the way that she suggested they were 'different'. "No, you don't know my past," he said a bit stiffly, trying not to go off into a rant but still showing signs of his suppressed rage in the way that heat started to flood the area in which they were once more. This time he was unable to stop it as quickly due to the fact that he was more focused on what she was saying. "And I don't know yours. Hell, we've probably both been through tough shit. Most people have. Doesn't change the fact that we're mortal no matter who we are." Nell probably assumed that he'd had every single injury he'd ever suffered treated expertly by his dad. What she couldn't know was that he'd hidden a lot of the injuries from him--those which he'd gotten in gang fights and mix-ups that he didn't want Daddy and Mommy to know about. He'd had to recover from a lot of those on his own. "I never said you were weak," he pointed out, inhaling deeply to try and relax, calm down a little. "I'm just suggesting that you shouldn't let shit go too far. If you miss out on one injury being treated, it leaves you weakened for when they strike again." Unfortunately he spoke from experience, and the grim nature of his tone suggested as much.

"But will you? Really?" His voice was a challenge as he narrowed colourless eyes in her direction, more fierce than actually enraged at this point. The air was still warm, though perhaps not as sweltering as it had been when she'd first found a sensitive spot in his armour. He realised how demeaning this could come off as however, so he sighed and forced himself to amend, "I'm just worried about this whole war deal. I've been through these things before and it's never pretty. People have died, and usually they've been accidents." An unspoken sentence hung in the air, 'Your death would be far from an accident.' And he was worried. He admitted it not only because it was true, but because he wanted to reassure her that he wasn't just trying to be a dick about this whole thing. She joked about hospitals after she returned the question, however, and this disappated some of his anger as he chuckled wryly. "Touché," he acknowledged, because no--he did not want to. They were both a pair of stubborn idiots when it came to their well-being, it seemed. Another similarity in a field of differences.

If it was that simple, why hadn't Nell just said so in the first place? There was a flicker of his usual ever-suspicious doubt, but Joshua forced himself to accept her words. Don't over-analyse. The girls mother might have just wanted her to stay home, it's not that much of a stretch. The Academy was out of the country, after all. They'd have only seen one another on holidays. "I guess she gave up on trying to keep you home eventually, huh?" He chuckled, seeing as Nell was here against the odds, or whatever. "Or did you just make the decision on your own?" He wasn't trying to pry, and by this time had fully shaken off his suspicious nature and accepted her words to be completely honest. After all, look at how much he hid from her that made no sense! He'd been reluctant to say anything at all, in the beginning. Not even the fact that he was bilingual had been a comfortable admission. "Still more exciting than me. I've been enrolled since before I knew what the hell an elemental was." He wouldn't really have been given a choice as to whether he wanted to attend, but seeing as he had aspired to go to the Academy the forcing wasn't really forcing after all.

His lips twitched into a quiet smile. "I come here alone sometimes when I want a change from the woods in our backyard." His mother's garden just out back was grand and beautiful and was mostly cared for by Patricia herself, only taken over by a gardener when she was incredibly busy. It was a nice place to sit and read his books, but sometimes even Josh desired a change of scenery. Annabel liked to lounge by the lakeshore but Joshua wouldn't go within ten feet on any side ever since the incident of his youth that had brought about the fear of deep water in the first place. He chuckled when she jokingly chided him, especially since he was usually the one spouting about the importance of education. "That's great," he said honestly when she spoke of getting more adapted now that the winter was fading. He hadn't really felt the change in his powers thanks to his injuries, but he lied and said, "The same goes for myself. The coming of spring is really a good time for both our elements."

Joshua clenched his jaw and carefully held back a sigh as Nell grew irritated with him. This was why he didn't like talking to people. To Joshua, it was always too much of an effort to explain his side because he was so closed off and impersonal in conversation--trying to argue a point was difficult when you were in parallel trying to avoid saying too much. It got worse when argument was involved or his words were taken the wrong way. Even though he was getting better with Nell, interaction was still a forced effort with Joshua. Pleasantries and 'good behaviour' had been drilled into him by parents and private schools alike, but he didn't understand casual communication like some people did, he'd never be a social butterfly. "I never said you couldn't take care of yourself," Joshua retaliated, clearly frustrated that his words were being taken as such. "I just meant--oh, forget it." The last words were half-snapped and accompanied by a short, sharp shake of his head. His expression suggested that he was grappling with some inner difficulty, but unless you were Joshua himself it would be quite hard to understand what the hell his problem was.

Truly, Josh had lots of problems. He was angry, he was anti-social, temperamental on top of that. He was violent and tended to overreact at the slightest of things, thus he couldn't develop close relationships as easily as other people. He had trust issues and personality issues and so many issues that he couldn't even begin to name himself, and yet he was trying. Really, it was amazing that he'd gotten this far with the poor girl at all. He'd tried to kill her upon their first meeting, after all. He wasn't too great at being kind and courteous when he was falling down drunk. "Whatever," he said, slightly bitter as she suggested that this be the end of their argument. The argument wasn't even the beginning of what mattered. What mattered was that he was annoyed and irritable and it was actually bothering him for once. There was a small part of him that chided the fact he was letting himself get so worked up over Nell's reaction, a part of him that seemed to be suggesting, 'Slow down, breathe. Nell isn't like most people.' And this part of him was so alien after years of being shoved into the deep, dark confines of his brain that he almost didn't know how to handle it: trust. His conscience was suggesting that he trust Nell and just drop this, assuming she meant nothing personal. The rest of him was violently rebelling, hence the frustration and the very strange expression that he was trying to keep subtle.

Talk of families wasn't much more comfortable, but at least it was her life they were talking about and not his. It was almost amusing how similar and yet different they were. Whatever different hells they'd been through, it amounted to one thing: they didn't like to discuss their personal lives. One getting something out of the other was like a diamond in a minefield. It still bugged Joshua that he knew next to nothing about her, but he at least managed to stop glowering when she smiled and answered. "Lucky. That you could just up and make the decision, I mean. A lot of kids don't have a choice because the Academy are so hell-bent on keeping us all safe." He was also subconsciously implying that she was lucky her mother didn't pull one of Donovan's stints and demand absolute control. Josh didn't know what she'd been through--all he was hearing was something he'd rarely had: free will. He'd thought that in joining the gang he was gaining his freedom, but really he'd become their lapdog, willing to do anything and everything for them. It sickened him now, looking back on it. But if he'd known everything Nell had suffered he might have counted himself lucky. "Fresh meat," he repeated, a soft snort following as he shook his head a little. "Never used that term myself. But you're right, I have been there since I was a freshman in high school." He allowed a moment of silence as he reflected on his younger years. He'd still been in the midst of the gang back then, still fighting with his father and challenging the man's authority. Things had changed over the years.

He glanced away from her awkwardly and studied the snowy landscape around them as she commented on the woods. "We have a large backyard," he said quietly, an understatement. "I was born here... I've never really known a concrete jungle save for the times I've been out of the area..." His tone was distant, suggesting that he was uncomfortable again. In his lap, his hands were slowly twisted and wringing, another subtle sign of his awkwardness. He was making an effort not to be stony and bitter as he usually was when he withdrew from everyone else, but it was a difficult process. "Gang territory," Joshua mused slowly, and his lips felt dry. "Did they ever give you trouble?" Curse your curiosity! he snapped internally. He hated the fact that he was inadvertently reminding her that he'd been involved with gangs in some way.

Of course, this made him conscious of the scar, and Joshua tilted his head even further away from her as his face flooded with colour. Damn it, he never blushed around people! Or at least very rarely. But these stupid scars made him so conscious about his looks that it was ridiculous. He'd always had a touch of vanity about his appearance--Donovan insisted it was Patricia's fault--but he'd never paid as much attention as he did now. "Sometimes," he said with a shrug, non-committal as ever. He was shrinking away again as he tended to do. Comfort comes down, walls go up. "It's quiet there." Maple Hollow was of course surrounded by wilderness, so some of the more high-class mansions didn't have direct neighbours. Theirs was one such. He enjoyed the solitude of the area and the peace it brought. He was comfortable there. He felt himself yearning to be there now, but he wouldn't ditch Nell here. "Our powers are muted in the cold months," he replied, still absent-minded but a little less soft. "When the snow melts, it's like our powers thaw out too."

The laugh sparked both a glare and a feeling of distrust from the boy. Is she laughing at me? He wasn't an expert on human behaviour--everything he knew came from observation alone, seeing as he didn't usually get close enough to others to actually understand him. So Josh had no way of knowing that Nell was just laughing in general. Instead, it felt to him like she found his anger amusing, and that just increased the ire. A quick glower down at his hands revealed them to be trembling softly. His breath was quickened and some of the snow was slowly starting to melt. With great effort, he swallowed hard and clenched his hands together in his lap. You are in a public park. There are people around. Do you want your powers stripped of you, or worse? Growing up, his father had always terrified him with stories of the government testing facilities. He didn't want to be targeted, so he was determined to keep his cool if only to stop from turning the area around them into a pseudo-summer. He wanted to make a snide remark in regards to Nell's laugh, but he bit back the retort and worked his jaw a little more. Self control, he thought, but mother of fuck was it ever difficult.

He could do nothing but stare at Nell for a few seconds, shocked at her words. "Mass amounts?" he echoed, trying to judge if she was joking. But her attitude seemed serious and it definitely wasn't a laughing matter which they were discussing. Well, this was awkward. He normally had no qualms about correcting people if he had more knowledge than they, but especially after he'd just avoided a major argument he certainly didn't want to spark another one. All the same, Joshua's expression contorted as he tried to think of a way to respond. "Nell... who told you that?" His tone was slightly softened in an attempt to reassure her that he wasn't trying to be condescending or anything. "I believe you've been misinformed. The humans--" It felt strange using those words, classifying themselves as non-human, "--far outnumber our kind. If we tried to reveal ourselves, we'd be slaughtered. All of us, or else farmed and tested on by the government. I don't want that life. I don't suppose you do, either." A strange look had passed over him when he'd said the word 'humans'. She'd called them normal, but Josh and Nell were normal too... for their kind. The exact ancestry of elementals was clouded by mystery and misinformation, but they certainly came from somewhere. "And we're dying out," he added softly, an afterthought. The quietness of his tone suggested that he was deep in his own mind, recalling things he'd been taught and told over the years. "Breeding with normal folk, crossing elements a little too often... it kills lineage sometimes." Of course, a Water student and a Fire student still had the same possibility of birthing an elemental as a Fire and Fire, it just halved the chances of a specific element.

Yes, Nell certainly seemed the type that would be open and accepting to all--freshmen included. "I stay out of such things." Picking on freshman and bullying the younger kids felt like child's play, like it was beneath him. He wasn't some stuck-up mature snob--he certainly had mass amounts of immaturity just lurking about--but he didn't participate in such acts that should be left behind in public schools (or so he believed). Maybe it was because he'd been bullied. Actually, that was probably the reason. But Nell didn't know about that.

She was from New York, she said. "If you did, I don't remember." A tinge of awkwardness slipped sideways into his voice as he referenced the possibility that she might have told him during a haze he did not remember. It was a bother when he became acquainted with someone under the influence of alcohol. He didn't know what they'd told him, and (even worse) he didn't know what he'd said to them. What sorts of things did I tell her...? He was a tad unpredictable when drunk. Usually he was all grinning and laughter and completely the opposite of his normal personality, but the reason he'd drank that night and the fact that it had ended in death threats suggested a much different mood of their conversations. Had he revealed anything he didn't want her to know? Don't dwell on it much unless you plan to ask. Which he didn't, so he grudgingly tried to give up the gnawing worry.

Nell was lucky that she hadn't been targeted or victimised by gang activity, this was all that he could conclude from the matter. He knew what it was like. He might wish it on his enemy--Josh was hardly one for peace, love, and happiness within rivalry--but never on someone like Nell. She was too... nice. Her kindness actually sickened him sometimes, exasperated him. It didn't make sense that someone could be so trusting or at least accepting of the human nature. I tried to kill her, and yet here we sit. What an odd situation indeed. "I won't pretend to know enough of The Bronx to compare," he said quietly, "but there is gang activity here also, sadly." Obviously. I mean, it wasn't like she'd saved him from being eliminated (assassinated) by one of them or anything. That wasn't the case at all. He also didn't understand that Nell would not judge him. He was ashamed of his past and this was why he didn't bring it up very often--didn't bring it up at all, if he could avoid doing so.

The rattling of the swing's chains as Nell jumped off alerted him, and Joshua turned his head slightly to watch her, wondering if she'd grown tired of his moodiness and decided to leave. It wouldn't surprise him, really. He was accustomed to potential friends that had upped and left because of his attitude. He approached such situations with an almost dull acceptance. But she surprised him (as usual) by instead addressing him with a cheery question about the merry-go-round. And then flinching. His brow furrowed slightly--why was she behaving oddly? It wasn't like he'd judge her if she loved them or anything (he didn't take into account the fact that this might be her first time on one). Honestly, if he was going to judge he'd have done so the moment she suggested the park. He slid easily from the bars, their surface a little slippery from the melted snow. "When I was younger," he replied, dipping his head in affirmation. "And with Annabel, of course." Now something occurred to him, and he frowned. "Why... haven't you?"