PULLING THE PUZZLES APART , (tag: nell!)

Nell looked at her phone for a while, holding it under her desk. The number she did not recognize and the text read ‘Call me Nell’. For some reason, this made her nervous. There was no real reason for the anxiety crawling up her spine and through her skull; it could just be a friend whose number she didn’t have yet. But if it was, they most likely would have said their name, and she’d already gotten three calls from this number. Something felt wrong about it, and Nell usually trusted her instincts. Snapping her phone shut, she looked back up at the professor.She was a good student, or at least she liked to believe, but right now she couldn’t really focus. Instead, she opted for tapping her pencil against the desk, mulling over whose number that could belong to. She shouldn’t have been so suspicious, but she had good reason to be, at least in her own mind. I’m fine, I escaped. If she had the money, she would have gotten a plane to Europe. But she didn’t, and instead ended up in Canada. Which was probably her best bet. And so, she tried to convince herself that she didn’t need to worry about her past anymore.

Should she call the number? No, she was too much of a coward. A part of her didn’t even want to find out whose number it was. Thankfully, after class she had planned to meet up with Josh, and that would take her mind off things. That’s what her days seemed to be filled with, occupying herself to taking her mind off of things. Nell luckily lingered inside the castle for a bit to chat with friends, but she still made sure to at least be a little early when going out into the parking lot. Just as she approached the lot, her phone rang in her pocket, and she reluctantly took it out. By now, she’d memorized the number. It was out of the area, which made her even more nervous. She hit end, and sat on the curb to wait.

And wait she did. Waiting. She shivered in her long-sleeved shirt, wishing she had a winter coat. And kept waiting. She laid back on the pavement beside the lot, taking out her phone and looking at the number again. Stop it. Nell dropped her arm after checking the time. He was a bit late, but she decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Nell didn't have anywhere to be. She didn't even have work tonight or any more classes. She pulled herself up and fished out her deck from her messenger bag, humming while shuffling. Even though she liked to be up and about, cards were something wholly ingrained into her. So when she couldn't be running around as she liked, she played runny or black jack or other games. Her father taught her most of them, along with chess and Chinese checkers. Nell set up a game of solitaire as she sat on the curb, holding the deck in one hand. The game at least took her mind off the cold, which she was not very fortified against. But she fared well enough with a long-sleeved shirt and jeans.

Nell had just drawn her fourth ace when she saw Josh pull up and she began collecting the cards. He actually seemed embarrassed for being late and hesitantly explained. He seemed sincerely discomfited about being late, but she looked at him with a languid smile. "I understand, don't worry about it." Her tone suggested that she hadn't been bothered by it at all. And she really didn't mind. "I always have my cards on me just in case I need to keep occupied."

She caught the apology spoken under his breath, and was actually surprised hearing it. He hadn't apologized for threatening to shake her, but he grudgingly apologized for showing up late. Not that she really wanted an apology from him--she lived by forgive and forget (when it came to most people)--it was just that he was...odd. ”All that matters is you’re here now.” She stood up and pulled down her shirt in a self-conscious gesture she’d developed after getting her scar. After putting her deck back in her bag, she rounded Josh’s car and waited for some kind of permission to get in. ”So how have you been?” she asked, smile still genuine and hands in her pockets in her usual easygoing nature.

For a moment Nell wondered if Josh thought carrying around cards was weird. Well he carries around a switchblade. She shrugged it off. Everyone had their quirks. Like his awkward silence. Again, she noticed how adept Josh was at conversation. It was impressive, really. This time she had a feeling he was enduring some lingering awkwardness from arriving late. She almost smiled at her thoughts, but that would have been a bit creepy, smiling to herself. But between the two of them, Josh was the creepy one, so she didn’t think it mattered. Still, simple things like his discomfiture over being tardy amused her in a way. Because it was strange that he felt that way at all.

But that strange sort of awkwardness was gone when he opened the door for her, and she thanked him before sliding in. When he got in, too, she noticed the acute rise in temperature. Clever trick. She guessed Josh’s powers were convenient at times like this. He replied with a neat little fine, and actually turned the question on her. Surprising. Leaning back in the seat a bit she said, ”Pretty decent.” She couldn’t complain, never did, and she guessed life was going good in general. If she didn’t think about her piece of crap car, and her piece of crap apartment, and her piece of crap apartment, life was looking pretty good. And she wouldn’t think of those things so as to preserve her feeling of freedom.

Nell studied the car’s upholstery, and believed it to be at least somewhat better than her Monte Carlo. Wait till I get my money right. But when would that be? Probably not anywhere in the near future, and she was willing to live destitute until then. She moved her eyes from the inside of the car to the parking lot, where a few students were dicking around. Nell lifted an eyebrow at Josh’s comment, sending him a bit of an amused look. ”Don’t hit ‘em now,” she said lightly, for a second even considering he might do it. Nah, he wouldn’t…would he? Josh was quite the unpredictable enigma, she couldn’t predict any of his actions before they occurred.

As he told her where he lived, she sensed hesitation and wondered if he was thinking of the night that he probably didn’t even remember in full clarity. ”I live downtown too,” she said, so as to placate any awkwardness about that. Sure, she hadn’t ever had as much trouble as she had with Josh, but that was all in the realm of forgive and forget. Nell knew how stupidly lucky she was for doing all the crap she did—lurking South Bronx at night was certainly not wise for a little girl, but she did it and somehow lived. Living in a crappy part of town now was no different. Nell heard his phone ring and wondered if he would pick it up. While she thought of this, he pulled into a bowling alley parking lot and pardoned himself. She nodded and leaned forward, arms crossed across the dashboard as she looked out the windshield. As he spoke she thought of her own phone, and the mysterious number, and her suspicions, and you’re being ridiculous, Nell.

Nell came up with excuses: it was probably telemarketers. Who sent text messages telling you to call them? She didn’t have friends anywhere outside of the Academy, so that was also out. Wrong number maybe? It was a new phone, and she knew it to be a common problem when one just got a number. She felt almost pathetic for pondering all this. When Josh addressed her, she bristled and shifted a bit too quickly, bumping her head against the steering wheel. Wincing a bit, she attempted a smile and said, ”That’s fine!” However, when she truly registered his words, her eyes brightened. But she tried not to look too excited. If he had to pick her up, there was the great possibility that it was a kid sister. I wonder if I have any food in my bag…? ”I’d like to meet your sister. How old is she?” She did catch a strange expression on his face as she leaned back in the seat and rubbed her head with a small grimace. ”Of course, if you’d rather see her alone, I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

She snorted a bit, a small smile on her lips. You live there, you should know. "'Course it is." Nell turned her gaze away to look straight ahead. It was better than where she'd come from. Much better. She was free to do what she wanted, she no longer had to endure her mother's wrath. Because Nell killed her. She skipped over that thought. "But I can take care of myself," she murmured. Nell never had anyone else to depend on growing up. She'd been taking care of herself for years. Or rather, taking care of her sister-- Nell hadn't really mattered. Her mother hadn't been what she was supposed to be and her father left long ago. She forced herself to grow up for Tilly's sake, and she took that simulated maturity with her. Dangerous? Yes. But she couldn't really find herself to fear something she was so accustomed to. She was desensitized. Nell knew what was out there, but possible predators paled in comparison to the law for her. It was naive, but so was she in some ways. She knew she wasn't invincible--there was just nothing she could do. She was stuck in her crappy apartment until...until when?


Josh actually asked after her well-being and she quickly said, "All good.” It was just a bump, it simply jarred her a bit. "I got distracted...by thinking...heh." Way to be lame, she thought. Stupid phones and their stupid caller ID’s. She should have it disabled simply so she could live without the caginess about whoever was calling her. As her head throbbed a bit, she focused on what Josh was saying about his sister. Eleven-years-old? That is an adorable age. Most kids that age considered themselves to be pretty mature, which made them even cuter. Nell and her sister were quite mature for their age by the time they were six, but that was because of their circumstances. Tilly had always been so quiet and reserved to balance out Nell’s hyperactivity, but the sickly twin was surprisingly the naïve one. She should have turned eleven. Those kinds of thoughts sent a wrenching pain into her guy, so Nell chose to ignore it. Chose to ignore how every birthday she spent without her sister was still painful, how whenever she looked into the mirror she thought of how it would be what Tilly looked like, too. Had she lived.

Josh told her that it was fine for her to come along, which only made her even more excited. You’re a freak, you know. He seemed to be focused on something else though, and she wondered at what it was. She wondered a lot about him, but never asked since she knew better than that. ”I’ll brace myself,” Nell said lightly when in fact she just couldn’t wait. When Josh fell silent because—as usual—he was the conversational butterfly, she rooted through the bag under her feet. Cards, book, pencils, origami, why the heck do I have a rubiks cube in here…? Eventually, she pulled out an apple and sighed. ”I was hoping I could find some candy, but alas.” And she was sure she’d just bought some Twizzlers. Now she was simply disappointed in herself.

They entered the nicer part of town, somewhere she’d never been. It was the kind of place she knew her family must have lived in back in America. Both sides of her family lived in New York, New York, spending their nights at lavish parties, sipping wine with the movers and the shakers. It was amazing to see that the Fuentes family could climb the social ladder so quickly for being immigrants, but they were some of the greatest minds in existence, with both her parents having six figure salaries. And as for the Sinclairs wealth—it was a below the table deal. Remember to rent The Godfather. Her aunt had explicitly told her the mafia did not exist, but Nell knew she had wanted the girl to fear what she could do. This place before her, with their gated communities and prosperous looking buildings—she was sure that just like back in New York, they had things to hide. Her situation had made her wonderfully cynical.

The school must have been a private, one of those gated deals that could make the humble girl from the ghetto slacken her jaw in awe. But she was very composed, still smarting a bit from the bump, and wondering about Josh’s situation with his family. If his little sister went to this school, that must have meant they were into some kind of money. But she would never ask him about it out loud. Oh no. He drove up to the front, and he must not have realized that how patient he was since he told her he wouldn’t be too long. Almost instantaneously as he closed the door, she saw a little blond blur ram straight into him, and had to cover up her chuckles since his window was open. When the girl pulled back, Nell bit her lip to hold back a rather undignified squeal bubbling in her chest. Oh. My. God.

She tried not to eavesdrop on the conversation, so she pulled out the rubiks cube she’d mysteriously found as she waited. Still, the window was open and so she could hear the two and she just had to resist looking over at the little girl so as not to erupt into giggles. From what she heard—she was seriously not trying to listen in, it’s just that a colorful cube could only be so distracting—the girl even had a driver. Definitely a family with money. Then why was Josh living downtown, of all places? If he wanted to move out, couldn’t he have borrowed money from his parents and gotten a nice apartment around here so he could be close to his family? Maybe there was some trouble… Click. She rotated the squares as she tried to force her mind away from its invasion of his life.


However, despite her best efforts, she became even more suspicious when the cute little angel of a girl asked if her big brother would be coming home with such yearning. She sensed that something was up, but click, she focused back on the cube. Her eyes were still drawn over to Annabel, though, sincerely regretting the fact that she probably ate the entire bag of Twizzlers. With her suspicions—though she guessed they shouldn’t be called ‘suspicions’ since that had a negative connotation—already bubbling, the mention of Josh having a nicer car only solidified that his parents were well-to-do. She didn’t really know what to think of that, but she decided not to linger on it too long. To do list: buy more candy.

It was really difficult to hold back her chuckles now when Josh referred to her as a ‘friend’. She was pretty sure he thought otherwise of her, more like an annoying Earth girl he was helping out, so it was funny to hear him say that. Not that she didn’t like him—she was simply unsure about him. But goddamn, was his little sister the cutest thing. Had his window been up, Nell would have had her face and hands pressed against it as she tried to get a better view. Necesidad de un abrazo, Necesidad de un abrazo… Great, now her thoughts had turned to Spanish, and it took some effort not to reply to the girl in the language as she waggled her fingers when the adorable thing finally saw her. ”Heya, Annabel. My name is Nell.” But you can call me Nelly, or Nells, or anything you want because you are adorable and I must take you home with me. Jeez, she really needed to calm down.

She only got even more cuter when she became flustered about speaking of the Academy, and Josh did something that surprised her. He laughed. It didn’t sound like one of those ‘I might just kill you now’ chuckles of his, but an honest-to-god laugh. You’re just too weird, Josh. But honestly, who could resist Annabel? And Nell was once again saddened by the thought that she only had an apple. When Josh got back in and apologized for taking so long, Nell waved her hand and dropped the rubiks cube back into her bag. ”No problem.” Another apology. Josh was just full of surprises today, huh.

When Annabel spoke to her, Nell shifted in her seat to smile back at the girl, and thank god there was a seatbelt keeping holding her down and preventing a hug. ”Yep, all natural. Though I like yours better—it’s such a gorgeous blonde color!” Even when speaking to children, she didn’t give false compliments. She really did like blond hair, but wouldn’t dye her own even when her paranoia crept up on her and told her that she should change her appearance to avoid the fuzz. It was unmanageable already as it is, and she usually just kept it up to avoid hassle.




(FFFUUUU-- typos. D< It was supposed to be the windshield, not the steering wheel. Oh well, Nell is uncoordinated enough to pull that off. xD)

Thank the lord for seatbelts. Otherwise, Nell would have already been in the backseat, cradling Annabel in her arms and asking her why she was so cute. ”Thank you Annabel. Nope, it’s just Nell.” But it was always meant to have an and Till after it. Their names were supposed to match—Nell Doe and Till Rae. But now that connection was lost. She would have told Annabel this had it not hurt her to speak about her dead twin. ”Annabel is a very unique name. Josh is right—I bet your parents named you because they saw how special you are.” With that little comment from Annabel, Nell figured that Josh was a good big brother. Which was really weird. Not that she didn’t think he was a horrible person, just… Well, she didn’t know what to think. Either way, she beamed at Annabel as she listened to the girl speak. She was about ten seconds away from turning into a complete puddle of affectionate putty.

Another strange thing was hearing about Josh’s family since he never talked about himself. Nell had to chuckle about the ‘she knows we’re related anyway’ part, and was a bit interested to hear more about this mysterious family of Josh’s. But apparently the topic of his father made him uncomfortable. She noticed his expression out of the corner of her eye, as she was turned to face Annabel. Nell guessed it was a strained relationship, and she was beginning to piece together some things. Perhaps because of this strain Josh moved out? It made sense, at least the Earth student thought so. But she didn’t want to put too much effort into prying into his life with her thoughts. Obviously there were things he didn’t want her to know, and she respected that. Instead she said with a tilt of her head, ”Your mother must be very pretty like you then.” Nell felt how she usually did around children—like there could be nothing wrong with the world because they’re smiling and happy and how can there be anything bad out there when you have so much innocence before you?

Annabel was a girl of many questions, and Nell could only wear her goofy grin. ”I’m an Earth student, actually.” Fire? She was a bit amused by this, seeing as she couldn’t imagine this cute little girl as a Fire student. But if her genetics were strong enough… Nell figured it must have been why she didn’t turn out as either Water or Thunder—the fact that the gene skipped over her mother must have offset it. But it was still very strong on her father’s side. ”I’m sure that you’ll turn out to be fire, Annabel. But we’ll have to wait until May, don’t we?” Josh reassured her that it wouldn’t change if she was born that way, and something interesting happened then, too. He actually sounded fond when he stated that he didn’t care which element she turned out to be. And even though Annabel didn’t seem reassured, Nell knew he must have been serious since he never spoke that way. When it came to the topic of her birthday, she cast an interested glance over to Josh. So he missed Christmas? Now she really wondered what was going on with his family. But again, she behaved herself. Luckily Nell had quite a bit of tact and wasn’t as inquisitive as Annabel.

This determination to be silent about such things was further solidified by the expression on Josh’s face. Even though the Fire student took care to hide such things, she did notice his grip tighten on the steering wheel. Even as he told her he wouldn’t miss her birthday, Nell didn’t know enough about the situation to believe him. Not that it mattered to her, really. This was no business of hers. Nell’s smile grew that much more wider when Annabel pouted about her big brother. Contain it, Nell, you’re a big girl. She lifted an eyebrow. How did she meet him? Funny story, Annabel… ”We met at school,” she lied easily. ”Josh annoying? No way! We get along just fine.” She said this cheerfully because this girl’s energy was simply infectious. And even if Josh did get on her nerves, she wouldn’t have told his little sister this. He’s just strange, is all. Where Josh merely smiled a bit at Annabel’s exasperation with being annoyed, Nell snorted and covered up her chuckles with her hand. Way to be morbid, Josh, she thought looking at him with eyebrows arched. ”Accident?” she asked, leaving room so that he didn’t have to answer if he didn’t want to. It’s just that she was at least a better conversationalist than him.

They arrived at a Tim Hortons, which she learned to be the Canadian equivalent of Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts. Not that she went to those two places a lot, so it wasn’t too great of a change for her. It was strange thinking of how something native to the country was already more familiar to her than something back home. Nell laughed as Annabel expressed just how much she felt like donuts. When Josh added on that she could come too, she responded with an easy, ”Sure.” She surely hoped he wouldn’t leave her out in the car or something. But when he said that he’d pay for it, she winced a bit. But she didn’t want to be difficult and grudgingly said, ”All right. Thank you.” She really hated taking other people’s money, but it wasn’t like she had money falling out of her ass. And she wasn’t going to be as stubborn as Josh had been when he was hammered and refused to let her call him a cab. That had been quite frustrating as she remembered, and so she didn’t want to be like how he was on that night.

Nell was glad for the change in temperature, as she always was because of her lack of a winter jacket and the fact that she had no heating in her apartment. She just wanted to bend over and pick up the girl and cuddle with her. But she once again she displayed her amazing self-control. After ordering food for himself and his sister, Josh told her she could get whatever she’d like, but her self-control also extended to this. His insistence was actually rather strange, but everything was strange about him. ”Just a donut. You can surprise me.” Nell was certainly not a picky eater, and she at least wasn’t too hungry right now (but let’s face it, she was always hungry). But at least she had a little bundle of cute to distract her from anything else. And at her comment about Josh’s niceness, the Fire student actually laughed and she grinned wide. ”Very nice,” Nell said, moving her lips down to try and stop the huge grin. ”She can talk with her mouth full. Let the girl live a little!”

Nell smiled when she noticed the way the two siblings looked when talking about their mother. Don’t think about her, Nell, just because someone mentions mothers… But she couldn’t help the direction her traitorous thoughts took. Her own mother had been beautiful, as all Sinclair women were. It was mostly to cover up all their evil. She guessed that’s why her Aunt Jane was engaged to be married for the seventh time. Men fell for them like flies, her father one of them before he got out too late. Mia was all wavy hair, full lips, and big brown eyes—how could her father have resisted that? Hey Nell, let’s not think about this. It was fruitless. The woman still possessed her thoughts no matter how much her daughter thought otherwise. It was kind of impossible for whenever she looked at her reflection, she saw the scars, and she thought of the how she got each of them.

She had to thank god once again for Annabel and her distractions. Apparently she carried around a picture of the family, and Nell took it between her fingers. It looked to be a Christmas photograph judging by the decorations. She guessed this kind of thing was normal for families, but she didn’t have any photographs. As it were, a Sinclair Fuentes family photo would have been a charming woman, a straight-faced man, a solemn little girl and her cheerful counterpart holding her hand. But that’s not how their family was. They celebrated Christmas with one or two presents for the girls, but that stopped when their father left, and everything that ever felt good stopped with Tilly. No family pictures, no tangible memories. A part of her was thankful—she didn’t want reminders of them. But a picture of Tilly would have been nice, because that would mean she didn’t fade away. But she had done just that. Nell figured any pictures would have been burned, since it seemed that’s what she did to unwanted things. That’s what she did with the paper cranes after Tilly died.

Josh did look like his father, but since the mention of that earlier had brought about a negative reaction, she made no comment on it. ”Wow, she’s astounding,” Nell said as Annabel pointed out her mother, and the woman truly was. She couldn’t resist snorting when she handed back the picture and heard the little girl say ‘hitting on’. Could she picture someone flirting with him? Well, when she re-introduced herself he had felt the need to ask her if she’d slept with him, so it shouldn’t be too hard to believe. But honestly, the first thing she thought if she saw a stand-offish, dark guy sitting in a corner was certainly not “Let’s see if I can take him home.” ”I don’t blame her—you do look good in that suit.” She lifted an eyebrow at Josh, and couldn’t help chuckling. At least he seemed to be in a…good mood with his sister around. He was actually laughing and acting like a human being which gave her that Twilight Zone feeling again.

The cute little girl (gah, Nell, don’t hug her!) had every right to be perplexed about the situation since Fire and Earth students were the furthest things from besties in existence. She’d figured a while ago that Josh didn’t pay much mind to politics of the Academy, seemed to be the kind of person to live on the outside of such circles. When Annabel informed her that her big brother had actually been a leader, Nell blinked a few times before saying, ”Ah.” With her assumptions of him being the ‘I don’t give a crap’ kind of guy, it was sort of odd to hear about that. But he was more-than-decent with his powers, so it wasn’t too shocking. Your sister is writing your biography, homes. She turned to look at him for his response, which was minimal of course. Nell was curious, but whatever. Poor Annabel didn’t seem to take the snubbing so well, and at her question the Earth student said, ”The Earth students are my family, but I don’t like to focus on politics.” She was too concerned with real-life politics, anyway. Nell didn’t need anything else on her plate, but if push came to shove, she’d protect the people she cared about. And that was that.

She sort of predicted the response, since everything was a touchy subject with him. But Annabel chose to elaborate then, which Josh must not have appreciated. Awesome, Nell, you’re in a car with a child who likes to talk a lot. Amazing tact. She sent Josh an apologetic glance for getting the girl going about something that was obviously uncomfortable for him. She really didn’t want her mouth to spoil these two’s good time, since Josh clearly was less…scary around his sister. And right now Nell just wanted to give Annabel a big bear hug. ”My bad, I should have known better.” She said this lightly so as to ease up the tension. It wasn’t the girl’s fault, after all. But it’s not like Nell knew the Fire student well enough to know what exactly to say around him. Things that were free game for most were taboo around him, so she had to learn to respect that even talking around him could earn an undesired reaction. But he assured Annabel that he wasn’t angry with her in a forced light tone, and Nell knew to leave it at that.

Tim Hortons made everything better, at least. She couldn’t help but watch Annabel with a huge smile. It was strange thinking of how different Tilly and Nell had been from other children. Sure Nell was a ball of energy, but she’d been mature for Till’s silent naïve. Of course, there were reasons for all this, reasons why they couldn’t be normal children. And Nell wished she could have given her sister a normal childhood before she passed. Nell wore a quizzical expression when he changed his mind before saying ‘job’, and tried to piece things together in her head. He clearly did that for Annabel’s sake since he looked at her when he said it, so that meant she didn’t know about whatever situation he was in. Of course, children weren’t supposed to know about these things. There must have been some kind of falling out with his parents, then. Keep your nose out of it.

Luckily Nell wasn’t too much of a glutton. ”I can wait,” she told Josh with a wave of her hand. And there was another saving of face before he stated that it was his apartment. When Annabel wrapped her arms around Nell, the Earth student gave him a triumphant smile. ”Oh, but Nelly would let you eat all those donuts at any rate you want,” she jested. It was strange, seeing Josh as the doting older brother when her first impression had been…less-than-nice, and her second one had been somewhat better. Nell observed the siblings with half a donut hanging from her mouth in a sort of frowny-face, seeing how Annabel ate her timbits with zeal, then opted to copy Josh. Who was surprisingly refined. It could have made her snort if she didn’t have a donut in her mouth. Oh, siblings… Her sister barely eat near the end, but when she did Nell would cut up apples for her and make sure she ate all the slices. But there was no stopping the inevitable, the skeletal appearance, the slow fade. Nell swallowed down her donut, now wishing she’d taken Josh up on his offer.

He didn’t seem accustomed to compliments, and she could sympathize. She didn’t grow up hearing that she was a cute little girl or with the affection that every child deserved. She grew up hearing of how she ruined her mother’s life, how she was a horrible daughter, and other derogatory terms that must have toughened her skin. Any insults slung her way were nothing now—she just had to think there weren’t any beatings accompanying them. Because she thought of her scars as the manifestation of those words. I don’t let anyone touch me. It was something she lived by now. She was used to the hate—not to compliments. But she gave them to others quite often, and Josh was not exempt. He was certainly attractive, if she didn’t think of how awkwarded out she felt around him most of the time. And the fact that he tried to cut her before, which she’d forgiven long ago but still couldn’t help remembering.

His thank you was polite, but that’s not what she took note of. No, it was the fact that…was he blushing? Nell couldn’t help her lips from twitching up. It was odd, seeing something other than sardonicism on his features, but everything was odd about him that day. Too bad he didn’t realize that all her compliments were sincere. She turned to smile back at Annabel, oblivious of the girls thoughts or of their anything being off. Because when someone was as cute as that little girl, it was hard for Nell to form coherent thoughts that didn’t include the yearning to cuddle and nurture that person. Right now, she was more or less a malleable puddle of affection.

The way Josh acted around his little sister made her wonder about who he was as a person because she really didn’t know. As Nell got into the car, she tried very hard not to think of Tilly. But it was the one connection that she refused to leave behind. Her sister had been the only part of her life not screwed-up, and so she treasured the memories. She guessed she could understand how siblings brought out a different side to people, like Josh. If anyone had ever tried to hurt her sister they would have had to face Nell’s never seen wrath—and for a while the greatest risk of that was their mother. But she hadn’t hated Tilly like she did Nell, and so the younger twin was relatively safe. Even her aunt had been protective over Mia, which she displayed in the hospital. The words that probably hurt more than the wound in her stomach came back easily. ”You murdered my baby sister.” And despite Nell’s quick rebuttal of the fact her aunt left Mia, the words had hit her like a punch to the gut. They made her think that maybe she shouldn’t have been around these two siblings who obviously adored each other, that she was like a cancerous tumor. She had killed someone’s little sister—she felt the keen twisting in her stomach, and tried her best not to think on it. But that thought was hard to push past. If Josh knew that little detail about herself, perhaps he wouldn’t be too keen on letting his sister near her.

Her heart practically melted through her ribs at Annabel’s expression and Josh’s reassurance to her when they came to his apartment. God, she was so cute. Poor girl shouldn’t have to even see this place. And that frightened child was how Nell should have been when she was walking the streets alone at night. But her mother only warned her about invisible demons of their family, not the real ones. And so she felt naively invincible in sneaking out. Besides, she was concerned about Tilly back then. It was still ridiculous of her. Now she was ultimately desensitized to this place, even though the incident with Josh should have at least taught her a lesson. And it did. Never escort violent drunks home. Funny how you didn’t want me to come here that night, and yet here I am. Irony was something else.

He bypassed the elevator, but she didn’t question it. Nell understood he might have been cagey about it because this is not the best place to live and one could never be too sure about the state of elevators. She really didn’t know what to expect of his apartment by the time they arrived to it. He lived downtown, so she was expecting something…not so up kept. Maybe not quite on the level of a torture chamber, but something much more dark and ominous. That was clearly not the case. It was incredibly clean and…nice. How….why….what? She had to blink a few times as Annabel shot into the place like a rocket. ”You’re underselling it, Josh. I’m jealous. My apartment is well…not so immaculate. But by no fault of my own.” Nell wanted to make it clear that her living conditions were the result of living in a seedy place, self-conscious about the fact her place was nowhere near as nice. She was tempted to wipe her finger on a random piece of furniture, and she was sure it’d turn out to be spotless.

When Annabel called from the bathroom, Nell grinned and asked, ”How do you get it to smell so nice?” She raked her fingers through her hair as nonchalantly as possible. She never lived in the best of conditions, the house she grew up in being a shoebox. It wasn’t terrible, but it’s the best one could get when living in the slums. At least they didn’t have a vehicle on cinderblocks out front, a dog chained up in the yard, and bars on the window. Oh thank god for the fact they didn’t have bars—Nell would have been completely screwed then. In terms of housing, the Sinclair Fuentes family turned out better than most. At least they never got robbed or shot up. Nell hadn’t been concerned about that anyway—it was her mother that was the problem. Getting robbed or shot would have been rather nice compared to what that woman did to her.

Nell took a few minutes to blink again at his offer. Right, he’s being a good host. Which is weird. ”Uh, sure, that’d be nice,” she responded. Nell took a few unsure steps into his apartment, still feeling awkward even as he told her to make herself at home. She really didn’t know how to be a ‘proper’ guest, never having been invited over someone else’s place before. But she had manners, at least. At that moment, Annabel started tugging at a locked door, and Josh lied to her to say that yes, he did have a roommate. That turned the girl off to anymore snooping, and Nell laughed lightly. Hands in pockets, she reminded herself as the urge to hug the girl came over her once again. But the girl was at it again, questioning the locks on the doors. Nell hadn’t exactly labeled Josh as paranoid yet—secretive, yes—but she had to admit it was a little strange. Easy to shrug off, though, as almost everything was to her.

”You know about my appetite,” Nell pointed out lightly when the Fire student asked if she was hungry. But she left it at that, because saying she was hungry would be considered a complaint and would have sounded needy, and she did not do that. ”Studying can wait,” she said with a small smile. Nell did not mind Annabel’s presence in the least, far from it. She adored the little girl, and besides, she wasn’t like Josh—she didn’t dive exactly dive into studying with ardor most of the time. She rubbed the back of her neck and said, ”I’m really not a picky eater.” And that’s a gross understatement. Before she could make a request, though, Annabel made her own and Nell grinned, still holding back her cuddling urges. It would sure to be awkward and out-of-place, as her signs of affection usually were. When Josh turned back to her, she was still wearing her goofy smile and once again said, ”Surprise me.” He really couldn’t go wrong with her.

He seemed a bit thrown-off by her ‘jealous’ comment, but she meant it. Ten again the envy wasn’t too strong since she was used to poorer conditions. And she thought that Josh probably was not. If his parents were as well-to-do as she believed them to be, then it would be understandable for even his downtown apartment to be squeaky clean. ”Yeah, I live by myself. It’s a studio apartment, so it doesn’t require too much upkeep. And I wouldn’t sentence anyone else to living there, so no roomie.” Now don’t make it sound like it’s too terrible. Nell enjoyed living alone, even though she always enjoyed the company of others. A roommate was pretty much out of the question with her one futon, and besides she was self-reliant. Always had been. Living on her own was probably one of the easiest things to do in her life, and she wouldn’t want to trade that it.

Josh probably would have smiled were he any other person, but he simply started to list off ways to keep your home smelling clean and fresh, like he was on the Home and Garden network. She began making a mental checklist. Incense would have to do since I don’t have a fireplace and I’m not a fire elemental. Nell took note of the almost-random piece of wood in the entertainment center. She gazed at him quizzically as he stated he liked the smell of lemons, and shook her head with a smile. You’re a strange one. Not because he liked the smell, simply because she didn’t know anything like this beforehand. And peppermint? Okay then. Josh obviously took this kind of thing seriously, and she wasn’t one to judge. Because it was something she could use in the future. She made sure to keep her apartment organized, since cleanliness was something her father had instilled into her when she made a mess out of the game boards. It was another one of his lessons that she had taken with her—it was a shame that a man she loathed like nothing else taught her all the basics that she guessed parents taught. Proper hygiene and grooming, table manners, how to get what one wanted out of people—along with academics, he had his claws dug into her early childhood skills. ”Those are some things to consider, then,” she said pursing her lips in thoughtfulness. ”I guess I’ve never considered these things before. Huh.” She didn’t want to say that this was her first time out on her own or anything like that—she was still resisting looking like an incompetent fool.

”Right, uh…soda’s fine.” He was throwing her for a loop, but she opted to shake that off as he got the refreshments like the good host he was. You’ve just crossed over into the Twilight Zone, she heard Rod Serling’s voice in her head, accompanied with the theme song’s chords. She almost wished Josh would stop being so polite—it would make much more sense to her. But he got drinks for his sister before going back into the kitchen and Nell simply shook her head. And while he was in there, she heard a rather odd sound coming from one of the rooms. She blinked several moments. A…cat…? She’d seen plenty of strays on the streets, but never kept one as a pet, so she couldn’t be too sure of the meow. When a three-legged feline entered, she only watched it with surprise and rising affection. Cat, she thought with certainty. He watched her with an expression that could only be described as cagey, if cats could have expressions. Annabel called him Chester, and Nell plopped down next to her on the couch, still watching the cat with an almost dumbfounded expression as if she’d never seen a cat in her life. ”How are you this fine day, Chester?” she asked humorously. With another meow, Josh called out from the kitchen and shook a bag. He actually said kitty.

Apparently, that wasn’t the only one for two more came out of the woodwork causing more surprise on Nell’s ends. One went over into the kitchen, and the other one took his time to stop and hiss at her. ”What did I do…?” she wondered aloud weakly. Her inexperience with cats showed, but Annabel explained that the cat—Apache—was blind and unused to her. ”Oh, that makes sense.” She was glad to know that she didn’t accidentally slip up when first faced with cats. The girl comforted the rather affronted cat, and with that headed into the kitchen to eat. Nell had been expecting some kind of large ferocious dog, just as she’d been expecting a torture chamber-type apartment. But today was the day for deceiving expectations. She would choose three fluffy kitties over a mean dog any day. Nell took the drink with a smile. ”Of course. They’re adorable, I didn’t know you had cats.” Well, duh, actually, he never talked about anything like that so it was only a given.

Apparently Eris was new, a stray he’d taken in. She was doing a lot of blank-faced staring now. He took in stray cats? Oh god, this is too weird. According to Annabel he’d done it before, though. She treated it like a natural, normal thing. ”They were all strays, then?” Nell asked curiously. She always felt terrible when passing toms in the streets and wished she could bring them home to Tilly for her to have some more company. Pets made children happy, and the girl needed all the happiness she could get. But bringing home an animal would mean revealing she snuck out almost every day and night, and they also didn’t have enough room or money for another mouth to feed. She was sure that would have been what her father would say if she ever brought home any strays—no room or money. He was actually well into some money, but it still wasn’t enough for the family to move out of The Bronx.

His chuckle—another thing that was totally weird to her—told Nell that he remembered when she sat next to him in the mess hall. It might have seemed weird to him, but she actually didn’t mind his company too much. Sure, he wasn’t very talkative, but at least he wasn’t particularly mean to her. And that was enough for her to sit with him to eat. Nell nodded at his words, but she was still iffy on the ‘touching other people’s stuff’ front. The cat with three legs placed itself on a chair and seemed to be settling in for a cat nap—Nell forced herself not to snort as she thought of that—but Apache came up to her with an adorable little meow. But she was still uncertain about cats. Hearing Annabel call her Nelly almost broke her levies for resisting any hugging, but though she wore a ridiculous grin, she behaved herself. ”Can I…can I pet him?” she asked, reaching out a hand for the cat to sniff at or whatever cats did.