TOO DRUNK TO FUCK , (tagged: nell!)

Nell entered the library with slight trepidation. Her professor had told her he was going to be out this week and had told her to come to Dale for help. Ask a complete stranger for help? Not her style. But her professor said he’d agreed to it and she figured she might as well seek him out and find what he’s all about. After all, Nell never passed up a chance to meet a new person. And hey, adventure, right? Scouring the library for a mysterious tutor, something like that… As she thought of this, her phone vibrated in her pocket. She replied to her friend that she couldn’t go out, that she was on a ‘mission’. Unfortunately, her social life took a backseat to schoolwork. Nell loved going out and hanging around others, too bad she seemed to always be busy.

Before she took another step, she closed her phone and made sure to keep her eyes focused. Wide open spaces were easier to navigate for she was resourceful, and it one route wasn’t possible, she’d find another. Usually in enclosed spaces the lack of many avenues confounded her. She shook her head. Cruel irony… Sometimes she thought her brain worked wrong or backwards or in any other way than it should work… As she ventured further into the building, she noticed a queue of computers and bit her lip for a moment. There weren’t too many people around, apparently having better things to do with their day.

Nell didn’t know why she was doing this, sitting at one of the computers and searching ‘Mia Sinclair Fuentes Murder’. She promised herself to leave it behind, but she needed to know what was going on back in the states. Had the police dropped the investigation yet? Doubtful, if her family had anything to do with it. The Fuentes’ were particularly vindictive, true to their nature. In Google, she clicked on the most recent new link, and article by CNN. She could have sworn she lost color. A news station like CNN was on this? She read it over with a sick stomach.

FBI still searching for Nell Sinclair Fuentes, the alleged killer who fled from the hospital two months ago before her hearing was to be set…She had inflicted a wound in her stomach so she could plea self-defense, according to Jane Sinclair, the suspect’s aunt and a prime witness to the case. Nell strangled her mother to death when she was caught running away, which was one of the only facts in this article. The girl could barely read anymore, instead scanned the comments below lamenting how a young girl could murder her own mother, how she must have had serious mental health issues, that she should be locked up immediately. And her family had the public wrapped around its finger.

With a shaky breath, she closed the window and leaned her elbows on the table to run her fingers through her hair. Nell did not cry. She’d been through far too much to start now over something like people hating her and the world believing her to be a psychopath. At least she wasn’t a captive. No, just a fugitive, she thought wryly. She leaned back in the chair and cracked her back before picking up her bag. She was physically and emotionally exhausted. Drained. But she needed to push forward. If Nell was anything, it was a survivalist. It was her religion, her code of belief. Many of these books in here were her Bibles, the non-fictions giving her tips and tricks.

She rose carefully and decided she should at least look for Dale. The professor said he’d be in the history section, and as she looked around at the rows of shelves she could only sigh, but chose to look on the bright side. It’s an adventure. But she preferred her adventures to be outside, thank you very much, not that she had a thing against libraries. She used to go to the nearest one in The Bronx all the time for research about a condition she didn’t even know the name of, wide-eyed innocence and foolishness. If she had the chance, she may enjoy these books. After all, she loved to learn. Nell began the journey through the shelves, not understanding the numbers labeled on the sides and deciding to look for context clues in the books. Charlotte’s Webb, Pride & Prejudice, John Dies at the End… She figured by the time she reached the back of the first floor she scoured the entire place, and hopefully hadn’t missed a shelf or went back over.

Next, upstairs. She climbed the staircase, looking around to make some landmarks or something. But there wasn’t many considering it was just books, and books, and why, look at that!—more books. As she perused more of the books, she finally came across some promising titles reading about WWII and reading countries’ names. This had to be the history section! …So what to do now? Nell looked around, and spotted a lone person sitting at a table, hood pulled up and apparently reading a book, though she couldn’t see his eyes. He was pretty much the only one around, but he seemed to be intently studying. She shifted from foot to foot. She really didn’t want to bother him, but… Gah, just get over it, Nell!

She finally approached and softly clearing her throat, saying with a very apologetic tone, “Sorry to disturb you, but uhm…” She scratched her cheek and chuckled lightly. ”My professor directed toward this Dale guy, saying he would be in the history section. I suppose you wouldn’t have seen him around…?” She was being so stupid, asking this guy who had obviously been absorbed in his book whether or not he’d seen this person—who she had never even seen before—lurking around the library.

Nell felt terrible for the poor guy who probably only wanted to be left alone. The feeling of being a nuisance absolutely grated on her. But she didn't know what else to do. She started when his hood slid down. She almost didn't recognize his voice without the drunk drawl. But she definitely recognized his face and grey eyes. "Josh...?" Oh...my...crap. He attended the Academy? So it truly was a small world, after all. After letting him wander down an alley alone at night, she'd felt immensely guilty even though there was nothing she could have done. So it relieved her to see him safe and well and sober. Which was truly odd, him not threatening to cut her. He didn't seem to recognize her, either, as he said he might have seen Dale.

Nell placed her hands gingerly on the table as she explained, watching his eyes carefully. "Well, you see, I have supplementary classes because I've only just enrolled here and I'm seventeen. The Academy is keeping me on watch, kind of like academic probation." Nell stated this simply as if she were reciting from a text book, showing that she wasn't complaining about it or at all bothered. She was in fact thankful that the Academy even considered accepting her. Being on their watch list was a small price to pay. "My professor was supposed to assist me, but he's out this week and he said Dale would be willing to help me instead." All the while, she regarded Josh with a rather calculating gaze, studying him carefully and expecting Rod Serling to come into view and announce that this is The Twilight Zone. At his next words, Nell bit her lip. "Of course if he doesn't have the time..." And this is why she did not ask others for help--she always felt like she was pestering them. She most certainly did not want to be a burden to this Dale person. But she knew she needed help from somebody, else she would be crushed by all the work. Nell had missed quite a bit, and she felt like such a fish out of water only now being introduced to formal lessons on how to control her powers and the politics of elemetals.

Josh's speech was certainly more coherent now, which happens when one is sober, but still it was strange after only hearing slurred threats from him before. It was throwing her for a loop. "Of course you don't remember." Her voice was a half-sigh, half-statment. As she had figured that night, he'd blacked out and didn't even remember her. She still looked at him with some trepidation, trying to figure him out. She met him as a vicious drunk, and now he was chilling in a library? She was one for second chances though and decided she shouldn't judge someone's character by how they behave when shitfaced. "We actually are...acquainted. My name is Nell. Does that sound familiar?"

He probably couldn't even remember the day before that night, let alone the bartender who cut him off. This was just too weird. Here he was speaking to her so casually and oblivious to the fact he almost knifed her, and all she could think of was that night. Forgive and forget, she brushed it off, but she was still trying to figure him out, her gaze a bit less wary.

This guy seemed so…different sober. Intelligent, like. Observant. She sighed. Guess that’s what happens to you when you drink like a fish. Usually when her friends got hammered, it took their personality and magnified it to unbelievable proportions. The usually loud and hyper one became a clingy box of giggles about ready to jump on whatever they can find. So she wondered if this guy was usually so violent? As she looked at him, it seemed possible. He had that dark aura about him, that was for sure. Nell decided not to think too much on it. She wasn’t going to judge him because of what he did when he was drunk.

He acknowledged her words with a statement and she nodded. ”Well…I’m not from around here,” she said vaguely, shrugging her shoulders. Nell disliked talking about herself, really, even things like where she came from or anything having to do with her past. And it felt weird stating this again when she already spoke to him about it before he got wasted. Josh noticeably said nothing about this Dale person and whether or not he was around or that he’d be willing to help. And she didn’t press. It was hard enough asking someone else for a favor, let alone sounding desperate about it. She guessed she’d just have to study and practice on her own. She was very self-reliant, after all, it wouldn’t be too difficult. Still, it would be nice to have help from someone with more experience. Which is why she asked her professor, but he decided take a vacation or something.

Josh looked a little confused about what she said, and shook his head a bit. Of course her name didn’t sound familiar, he’d blacked-out. He cut himself off before saying something, and his next question was completely unexpected. Not that she didn’t think he was attractive and that women wouldn’t want to sleep with him, but if he usually didn’t remember that kind of thing and it apparently happened often, then he must have been drunk during those times. And she couldn’t imagine him getting laid while wasted to hell. Besides, she was a virgin and so the possibility never even came to mind. It was the one last piece of innocence she truly had, but it’s not like she was one of those ‘saving myself for marriage’ girls. She simply grew up without a chance to experience such things and now she felt much too busy most of the time to even consider sex.


Recovering from the shock, she shook her head slightly, and waved her hand. "No, no, nothing like that. Sleeping with me was the last thing on your mind, trust me." More like shanking me in an alley, but whatever. She didn’t really hold it against him, but it still felt strange talking to him after that. She regarded Josh once more before speaking again. ”Ah well, I guess I should tell you what happened…” Nell scratched the back of her head, wondering how much of that day he had remembered. Not much, probably. Most likely it was a black void in his memories, perhaps he even had more void spaces in his mind like that, one night in a string of many. But she didn’t know how often he went to get shitfaced, and she really didn’t want to ask.

Nell began to speak in a casual tone once more. “You came to the bar I was working at, had one too many, and I cut you off. I tried to escort you home, but you weren’t having that and pulled your blade out on me. I tried to call you a taxi, but that wasn’t going down either. Then you went on your merry way stumbling down an alley while threatening me with that knife. And I left you be.” She grimaced slightly, a little out of place on her usual half-smiling face, but Nell truly hated that she gave up on him. But what else was she supposed to do? Even shitfaced, she knew that he had the upper hand when it came to physical strength. And she wasn’t about to skip down and follow him home. “Honestly, it’s good to see you got home safely.” It also felt like the whole event was for naught, but it didn’t put her out much so she didn’t mind. It was more of a headache than anything, but all was forgivable.

Nell gave a half-smile and said, ”It’s strange…to me, you’re the one with an accent. And everyone else here.” It was true, she grew up around everyone else sounding the same as her, and now in Canada there were some distinct differences that she’d notice. His voice was rather nice when he wasn’t threatening her, and it had the same sort of inflections as others she’d met here. But she left it at that. She could have told him that she was from The Bronx to explain her accent, but he probably wouldn’t care anyway. His tone was impartial, so she didn’t think anything she said mattered. She didn’t feel comfortable about divulging such information, anyway. Sure, it was innocuous to state even the country she’d come from, but she always felt as if it might come back to haunt her. One misstep, and she was screwed. She had to tread carefully with everyone, and that meant keeping information to herself that would have otherwise been standard conversation.

Josh was just as talkative as he had been when he first came into the bar, which meant not at all. He seemed pleased enough that he didn’t sleep with her—though she was just assuming, since she couldn’t even read his expression. But she didn’t even know why he had expected that. Had he thought she’d just come up and say ‘hi there, we fuck, how is your day?’ That just seemed even stranger than seeing him sober. He patiently listened to her while tapping a pencil against the table and she waited for his reaction. It was minimal, of course. That is until Josh pulled out his switchblade, and she blinked in disbelief. Really? In the middle of the library?

She nodded when he asked if that was the knife (well clearly, unless he had a collection which would be rather disturbing). Nell had to wonder what kind of question it was. ”The same.” When he played with the knife—she took a moment to look around, but thankfully there weren’t any people lingering nearby—she saw the injury he’d accidentally inflicted on himself. He didn’t even realize he’d hurt himself that night. So she was a bit wary about him flipping the knife, but he was more coordinated sober, it seemed. She was tempted to ask him why he carried such a weapon around, but had a feeling she wouldn’t get a good answer from this guy. ”How’s your cut doing?” she asked, nodding to his hand. It didn’t look like he received any medical treatment, but she didn’t ask about that either.

He sounded incredulous at her comment, with a wry sardonic laugh, but she seriously had been worried. She couldn’t help it. Even though he was a dick to her—he was drunk, it was forgivable—Nell couldn’t help but worry about his wellbeing. She got home safely, walked back to her apartment and heated up one of her TV dinners and got some homework done. Then she set to work on trying to get the water stains off her walls, but quickly fell asleep from exhaustion. And she had thought about him that night because she truly did worry about him. And he probably didn’t care about that either.

He dryly told her that he was in fact Dale. ”Oh,” she said with a light laugh, blushing. Well I feel dumb. Nell hadn’t even known he attended the Academy, let alone what his last name was, so she couldn’t be blamed. And he could have told her sooner, it just seemed he enjoyed dicking around. She didn’t think he’d humor her in being her study buddy or something like that, judging by his demeanor. And she wasn’t going to ask him. Nell felt a bit awkwarded out about the situation, and didn’t want to press him any further. So, she brushed her bangs out of her eyes and said, ”Sorry again for bothering you… I’ll let you get back to reading.” She adjusted the strap of her messenger bag and turned to leave. ”It was nice seeing you again.” In a way, it was true. It was good to see him alive, even if he didn’t believe her when she said she had been relieved about his safety.


[PFFF TEMPLATE NOW. xD]

Nell lifted a quizzical eyebrow at his statement. ”I believe you,” she said with a shrug. Yeah, she didn’t think anybody would fuck with him, because he had that…well ‘do not fuck with’ aura. Still, people usually didn’t pull out switchblades in the middle of libraries, and it was quite odd. Was she worried that he’d cut her? Strangely enough, he made her more nervous sober than he did shitfaced. When he was stumbling around and threatening her, she felt more exasperated than anything. Now, she was taking him a lot more seriously. Not that she hadn't when he was wasted—which is why she backed off after he stumbled down an alley. He had quite the pleasant demeanor, especially when saying he wouldn’t cut her because he didn’t want to get blood all over the books in an unpleasant tone. Thanks, you’re quite reassuring. Nell’s gaze as measuring, trying to figure this guy out.

She sort of expected his nonchalant question, and didn’t ask more on it. There wasn’t much she found she could say to this guy, as he was giving very minimalistic responses. Though she’d conversed with worse people. Aunt Jane and her grandparents came to mind first. Her aunt was pleasant on the outside, all smiles and cheeriness and general Water elemental behavior. But that was the façade, which Nell learned when she was the first to suggest that she was going to claim her sister’s murder as first-degree. And her grandparents were especially malicious and hardly veiled their threats. She retaliated against them as best she could, in small ways such as speaking to them in English when they threatened her in their native tongue. They especially despised that. So she had to say, Joshua wasn’t too bad after the conversations she’d had with her darling family.


But still, her gaze was quite measured on Josh. She was rather shocked when he told her to sit, and she arched her eyebrows suggesting as such. Now was the question. Did she want help from this guy? Nell sighed softly, not in exasperation or anything, just trying not to be so tense around him. She was generally an easygoing person, but when someone keeps pulling a knife on you, it tends to keep her on edge. Not only was it generally unpleasant behavior, but it reminded her of her mother in some ways. She had threatened her daughter with a knife before she actually attacked her. And Nell had the lovely scar to show for it, the line stretching across her abdomen now pink as it was on its way to full healing. She really shouldn’t have run from the hospital with stitches still in, she almost tore them on a few occasions—she had a feeling the wound would not be healing as well as it should have.


She sat in a chair across him, dropping her bag to the floor. Nell would give him a chance, at least. After all, he was surrounded by books and he was the one she had been directed toward. He must have had quite a bit of smarts. And that’s what she needed, someone with intelligence. ”Help,” she stated simply, sure that she had told him quite a few times already. ”I generally don’t ask people for it, but I’m not going to act like I can get by all my own. That’d be a one-way ticket to flunking out.” She leaned back in the chair, fingers laced behind her head. ”Apparently you’re the one to go to for assistance in matters of academia. At least, according to my professor.” Nell gave her usual sort of smile, trying not to be too anxious around this guy. He may have been the one person to actually assist her, after all. And he said he wouldn’t cut her, but with his personality, it wasn’t too reassuring.

Josh placed the book he had been reading on the stack of others, and she waited for his deliberation. Truly, she did not expect much. Even though he told her to sit, she still wondered if he’d even give her the time of day. And she didn’t think anything like ‘I deserve this after what you did to me’, because she simply was not vindictive like that. To her, he had no obligation to assist her. She didn’t want assistance at all, but life put her in such a predicament that she had no other choice. She was not foolish enough to believe she could survive all on her own, no matter how self-reliant she was. Nell had snuck out of the hospital, traveled all the way north on minimal funds, hopped the Canadian border, and forged her own papers all by herself. But that was simply resourceful. When it came to studying and learning about her powers, well, it’s not like she could go it all on her own. Which is why she needed the Academy like nothing else. It was the best opportunity ever put before her.

She was pretty surprised by his nonchalant words, the slight wave of his hand. After all, he had nothing to gain for it and he seemed like the type of person who needed to get something out of assisting another for it to be worthwhile. ”Thank you,” she said with a small smile. She was truly grateful for it, even though she was uncomfortable around him. And that’s probably how he wanted it, for her to be on edge. But she wasn’t going to run away screaming just because he was stand-offish. And apparently he was going to help her, so why should she be scared away? Nell wasn’t bothered by much anymore, or surprised—perhaps she became a little jaded due to what happened with her mother and her family. It took a lot to faze her, but threatening her with a knife tended to work. So he had free time? ”You like to read a lot, then?” she said, not being able to hold back her curiosity. She smiled wide. ”That’s impressive. Not a lot of people bother with doing any research on their own after they meet their obligations.” Nell’s words were genuine, even though Josh did seem shifty to her. Hey, she was friendly, I was hard not to act so.

Cute, she thought dryly at his smirk as she observed him with a lifted eyebrow and a half-smile. The sarcasm didn’t even effect her, since it was a defense mechanism of her own. Besides, it seemed to be a part of his personality. She shrugged such a thing off easily. When it came to physical threats, that’s when she took issue. What did she need help with? Well, a helluva lot of things. She never thought too much about exactly what she needed to know, what she could actually ask for. Because Nell still wanted to believe she didn’t need any assistance, she was too stubborn to admit it to herself.

Before she could answer, a fire bloomed in his hand and she said, ”I’m an Earth student, but there’s nothing around for me to demonstrate with except this.” She rapped her knuckles on the wooden table, a very diluted source of her power, one that she wasn’t willing to manipulate. There were also the paper in books, but that was even more dilated and impossible to manipulate. The fire didn’t bother her, she grew up without the influence of other elementals to sway her so. So it didn’t bother her even when he pulled his hand away. ”I’m guessing I need more assistance when it comes to the academic side of things, anyway. I don’t really even know how to approach it. It’s not like I had any tutoring in the Elements before coming here.” She shrugged, again to show she was not bitching about it. Just facts. And she hated talking about herself, but what else was she to do when this guy was offering her help? He needed to know what was up. "But...I guess my biggest issue is keeping control." The words were low as she spoke them, because she couldn't help but think of her mother.

She didn’t want to come off as stupid, because she knew she wasn’t. Nell may not have had a formal education, but she had snuck out to go to the library of all places. Simply for research, though. And her homeschooling had stopped when her father left, since he had all the money and he even tutored her most of the time. But no, she wasn’t stupid. Sure, there was things she should have known, algebraic equations she should have learned, but that didn’t mean she didn’t know her way around a book. It’s just in terms of how to control her powers on paper… She really needed this. A large part of her feared that an event like what happened with her mother would occur again. And she’d do anything to prevent such. Nell didn’t want to lose control like that again, or experience the same kind of terrible fear.



[He’s lucky Nell isn’t how she is on GBTS, else she’d have fallen out of her chair and barrelrolled across the library.]

Nell knew she wasn’t going to get a lot out of him. She didn’t mind it, so she simply nodded at his simple replies. ”I guess not many people look at it that way,” she commented while tapping her chin with a finger. ”This section is practically empty.” Books were for factual information to her. They were for studying, and jotting down notes in her mind since she couldn’t very well take a pen and paper home with her filled with scribbles of biological facts. But other than that, Nell was more of a practical application learner. Still, she figured she may as well have more understand of her powers when it came to theory before she started screwing around and causing some kind of mayhem. In any case, maybe she’d one day be able to find the entertainment value in literature. She’d very much like to, so she’d be able to move among circles of scholars and know what the hell she was talking about. The prospect of holding such enlightened conversations propelled her to at least consider reading more, especially since there was nothing keeping her from this library now.

She laughed lightly, the sound barely audible as he mentioned that they were natural enemies. ”I guess so.” Not that she knew much of politics, only what was between her families. The fact that her father and mother married was a humongous sort of taboo between the respective Water and Thunder clans. The Sinclair family had formed together once again with the help of their underground connections and such. While the Fuentes family had always been powerful, and rich, and equally as shady. Though she didn’t learn of these things until she killed her mother. Still willing to put up with me, Josh? she thought, and it was a question she didn’t ask aloud for fear he would withdraw his assistance. It’s not like she thought much of him being a Fire student, and she really didn’t consider him an enemy, all things considered. She really didn’t want to be making enemies—after all, she had way too many, now that she thought of it. And all of them were much more powerful than her, and that didn’t even have to do with Elemental powers.

His smirk grew into something more then, and Nell leaned forward when he spoke of himself being in college, very interested in this. She was thankful he had a lot more experience than her when it came to his Element. ”What kind of things will you be able to do once you graduate?” she asked curiously. Nell knew that what people learned depended on which grade they were in. Right now, she was trying to take all of it in, every year she missed. The workload was daunting, but she approached it will all her fervor. She was determined, if anything, and she had a focused mind. And after this term ended, she would certainly go her for college. Where else would she go? Again, she reminded herself that this was the best damned opportunity that ever came before her, and she would grab the chance at learning more about her abilities.

”Oh, I apologize. It’s just that I truly don’t know how to phrase this.” She blushed, realizing she should have informed him as such. It was all very new to her, talking about this stuff. It was new to her when she heard about the Academy. ”But yes, when it comes to manipulation, things go wrong a lot.” She knitted her eyebrows together as she considered his question, never having really thought of it before. Never having thought much of anything, really. ”Usually, it starts off well enough. I can do small things, like making plants grow faster with my influence. I’ve been practicing even in my down time. Then when it comes to bigger things…it doesn’t end too well.” Of course, that usually happens with most people, she assumed. But her powers went wrong in big ways. Scary ways. She couldn’t help but keep thinking of her mother, her face turning different colors as the roots wrapped around her neck, sucking the life from her…

Nell looked him square in his grey eyes at his statement, startled out of her reverie. She smiled a bit, saying, “Right. Thank you.” Though I might have trouble phrasing some questions Of course, she didn’t say this aloud considering it would be admitting things she didn’t want to and making her sound more like a dunce than she must have already. At least she had his permission to ask questions. He must have considered it a simple afterthought, but she was truly grateful for it. And since he had his consent… ”Do physics have any bearing on Elemental powers? For instance, the fact that you can call up fire whenever you wish…would that have anything to do with the oxygen in the air that flames depend on? Does that make it easier?” She really wanted to understand more about this. And since she had done a lot of reading in regards to science during her childhood, she was curious as to how much these magical abilities had to do with such physics. It was the easiest way for her to think of it, other than actual application.