* LONG LIVE THE QUEEN, [open]

Nell held out her hands to the large boulder, waggling her fingers like it would aid in her goal. It felt like it had when she first discovered her powers, back in the city in the parks that shouldn’t even have been considered parks. Tufts of grass popped up here and there, a copse of trees could be found, but even the gates couldn’t keep the bad out. The vandalists, the broken swingset chains, the park she could never play on. What was the point of playing on a swingset without a friend, without someone for accompaniment? Sometimes, she mourned her lack of childhood, a lot more now than other times. Because now, she had a future and time that she was sure of. She didn’t know what to do with that, and so it was far too easy to look behind, a fixture of broken glass. It was big and scary and there were things she still didn’t know how to sift through, ashes and charred rubble and where did she start? Her father could help, but that would be if she could pretend he was actually a person capable of talking about the past, of talking in general. No one talked, and she admired the people who did. She remembered with Devin, wishing she didn’t have to be so cryptic. Always guarded, she trapped herself in another cage.

And standing out in the wilderness, jacket on, jeans providing warmth, she thought of how it also felt like being out here with Josh, focusing on controlling her powers. That was something she’d had problems with, control. It made her fearful. But now, she could build up a garden in front of her with little to know effort, bloom flowers from the branches of the trees that reached overhead, crossing each other to provide a canopy. The sky was rather dim, but it wasn’t too late, and she had to pull her attention away from it so she could refocus. Yes, this felt just like it had in all her beginnings, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Begginings were wonderful, the fact that she could even have them. Even if she was a late starter, even though she had to wait a while to have the things she does now. She shifted her foot, crushing the leaves beneath her feet, listening to them crack, crisp and cold. Everything felt like that in autumn, it was the prelude to the next season, the freeze of winter. The past made her skin lift at the thought of the upcoming winter. This year, she didn’t have to worry about a trial. She didn’t have to worry about losing everything. But last winter had not been very good at all, it had been a time when she’d shut down, hibernated, no eating, just sleeping.

That’s never going to happen again, Nell thought as she blew on her hands. Never. She wouldn’t let it happen, but then again, one couldn’t control their mind. Her family could attest to that. Who knew if there would be a relapse? I’m strong. She liked the thought that she could still fight, she still had her survivalist instincts. But she wasn’t surviving anymore. Still, she had to remind herself of that when she lapsed into that kind of thinking. She held to those values she learned from the books, from years of simply doing that, but now there was much more. Not just using flesh for bait to fish when adrift in the sea, not drinking the blood of fish to keep hydrated. Survival was a lesson the harshness of her old world taught her. This was the new world, she was los conquistadores, in more ways than one. She was the movers and the shakers, she was the wreckers and the warriors. Prisoners and sinners, she was everything and nothing at the same time. Something she chose not to contemplate, philosophy she saved for what was around her.

She focused on the ground, on a small pebble half-hidden underneath some leaves. Concentrating, she watched as it flipped over the leaf. Her connection to everything around her still creating a swelling in her chest when she saw proof of it, when she could do something to change what was around her, the nature that she looked at. She could see a tree and say, “I can make it taller, just give me a second.” She could do so much, and still hadn’t reached all her possibilities. Nell liked to focus on that, not the upcoming winter. Focusing on growing her powers, just like her maze, just like building her car. But you really should move now, she thought, hoping that boulders could have a psychic connection to her. She already had a strong connection to the earth, it wouldn’t be so farfetched. She walked up to it, climbed over to sit on it. The clearing was full of other rocks, and she wondered how they all got there. Crossing her legs, she found another small rock to try and move with her powers. It hit another rock with a sharp sound. Mind wandering, she looked at the borwn leaves scattered across the ground, moved them around to put them in a pile, occupying her mind. She wished she had brought a friend, she liked company when practicing, but she hadn’t thought ahead when wandering into the wooded area. ”Food...” she said under her breath before looking up at the trees. Would be nice.