* breathe me, [open]

Nell may not have been too focused at that point, but she could hear the crunching of the snow when someone approached. Of course, observance of her surroundings was something she conditioned into herself from a young age. She spent a lot of time traversing the streets of South Bronx, if only to get to the library or park, but that didn’t mean she could ever let her guard down. It scared her to think of how foolish she’d been in her childhood, but in all honesty, her home wasn’t much safer than the streets. Her mother had tried to kill her, after all, so she got the same treatment no matter what. And besides, the library and park were her safe places, the bases in her childhood game of tag. It wasn’t really a game, though, it was more like survival, but the idea was the same. She had a short amount of time when she could be safe before she had to leave and start running again, from her mother who was ‘it’. Before, these thoughts would have been easily pushed aside. They wouldn’t have been a problem at all. But now that her defenses were lowered, she had to squeeze her eyes shut, not caring anymore if the footsteps were those of a predator.

Taking a deep breath and taking the freezing air into her lungs, she opened her eyes and directed her gaze down. Her eyes were good enough that she could make out the dark head of hair, and it seemed as if she was holding something in her hand as she leaned against the trunk. She leaned over to get a better look, and realized too late that she may have leaned over a bit too far and the next thing she knew was the rushing of wind and a hard impact. Face flat in the snow next to the girl, she inhaled sharply, coughing on the snow, before lifting her face up and blinking the clustered flakes from her eyelashes. She now saw that the brunette was Gabriella, a girl she knew from last year. She wriggled her body to see if there was any damage, anything broken, but it wasn’t high enough to cause anything serious. She moved her hip, and winced, knowing a bruise would be forming there and a few other places. ”Word to the wise: snow is not soft.” She gave the girl a crooked grin as she pulled herself up, brushing off the snow that was stark against her black jacket, ignoring the aching in several parts of her body that experienced the highest impact. Nell wasn’t too easily affected by pain in that she didn’t cry out or complain about it. She had built up a shell long ago.

She didn’t try to stand just yet, thinking it might be stupid as she moved her ankle around. It felt like there might be a sprain. She wasn’t going to tell Gabriella that. ”So Gabby, what brings you out to the Canadian tundra?” she asked airily, as if she hadn’t just fallen out of a tree and possibly injured herself. ”I haven’t seen you in a while. Keeping yourself busy? You’re a sophomore now, right?” Nell tried to shift into a more comfortable position, didn’t even wince when she moved the leg with the possibly-sprained ankle. She was more interested in the other girl right now, only half her mind focused on taking her hair out from its clip and readjusting it. Of course, the Water graduate may have been wondering what she had been doing open in the tree—even though it may have been obvious, what with its healthy looking back and green foliage—but Nell never thought that anything she did would be questioned. It was all normal for her, after all. ”Did you do anything over winter break?” she asked, her eyes light and curious. She loved making conversation, even out in the freezing cold. She was sure her face looked pleasant, all red and blotchy.

Shaking out her hair like a dog, it took a second for Nell to reply, ”Yeah, it’s all good.” Her smile said as much, too. Gab was a nice girl, she didn’t want her to have to worry herself about the Earth student’s stupidity. She was actually rather coordinated when it counted. However, sometimes she did things without thinking or considering the outcome. Falling out of trees was a bit unusual, but she also made a point to fall out of her bed whenever she got caught in her sheets and tried to get out. It wasn’t very surprising for her, and like everything else, it didn’t bother her too much. Even now, she was not easily perturbed.

Nell leaned back in the snow, feeling it soak through her jeans, through her hands—which was good, like an icepack for her bumps and bruises. ”The cold air is definitely good for that,” she told Gab amiably as she looked at the trees all around. Seeing all the bare trees didn’t make her too sad, since she knew there would be a rebirth come spring. Always hopeful, always looking on the bright side. As long as she didn’t factor herslf into anything. ”Practicing.” She gestured toward the tree in all its living glory. ”I wanted to see if I can start trying out the earthquake stuff, but the snow makes it hard.” She certainly wasn’t strong enough to make the snow split apart or anything like that. She wondered if she ever would be. Nell always felt that she was behind her peers, even now that she didn’t have to take as many supplementary classes. Of course, she still took a lot—no mater what, it didn’t feel like she was ever caught up. Besides, she liked keeping busy. It took her mind off of things and made her feel useful. ”Looks like we both have a busy year ahead of us,” she commented. She never thought she’d be a graduate, especially when the trial was acting as a barrier. But here she was, back at the Academy, and she was happy for it. She especially liked being in college like her boyfriend—she didn’t feel quite as naïve compared to him, even though she was still very much so.

Talking about winter break, Nell almost balked. But she fluidly told her friend, ”Went to New York, but mostly hung out at home or built snowmen and the such.” She told her friends that she was going to New York for vacation, but that was very much a lie. And as she hated talking about anything with herself, she didn’t elaborate or anything. If Gabby didn’t know about the trial, the Earth girl wasn’t going to tell her. ”I like winter and all, but my brethren are especially immune to the snow and cold,” she said with a light smile playing on her lips. ”You guys probably don’t mind too much, right?” Snow was just a form of water, after all, but the cold may have been a problem. The Fire elementals took care of that with their spiked body temperatures, and Josh—being a graduate—could manipulate heat. It came in handy, and sometimes made her wish she was a Fire elemental. However, she wouldn’t trade her element for anything, even if it meant constant warmth.

Nell picked herself up and kept her face placcid as she leaned against the trunk of the tree, picking up her injured leg and carefully wiping off snow from the boot. ”Eh, they won’t do much. I’ll head down in a little bit to get ice for my ankle. But I’m not too worried.” It was like her to put off taking care of injuries, and she remembered a time when that had angered Josh. That was when they were just coming into an awkward sort-of friendship last year, when the war that had her as a target began. He had every right to be concerned. ”I wanna hang around here a little more, see what else I can do. The snow is a limiter, but I can work with it.” She wanted to start manipulating dirt and the such, but the snow was also a problem there. Plus, she had a long way to go before she started accomplishing anything big. ”What have you been practicing? Can I see?”

Nell supposed she and the other girl could relate on a level. Hell, most elementals could relate to each other. They were in a way attuned to nature thanks to their powers. Perhaps that’s why a castle suited them best instead of a newer building—technology is not something that they easily connect with, but nature was, and where the school was, they got a lot of nature. The Canadian wilderness sprawled all around, the castle tucked into the mountains as if it had always been there, and wasn’t at all man-made. It made her found, thinking about the Academy. She loved this place, and she couldn’t think of anywhere else—save the apartment she wanted to move away from—as home. These thoughts helped with a lot of worse feelings, and so she held onto them. Sighing almost wistfully, Nell leaned further back, the bruises forming on her body pulsating as if to remind her they were there. ”I need a Fire elemental up in this place,” she joked. It had been helpful when she had come out here last year before she’d been dating Josh and he had cleared an area for her to praactice. It would probably be a good idea to bring him out again to help with this.

She laughed whole-heartedly at what Gabi said, almost astounded that the stereotype had reached Canada. ”I’m shvitzing, you know. I’m from New Yawk,” she joked. Her accent was still strong thanks to the area she grew up in and the fact that her father, the man who taught her both languages she knew fluently, had an accent as well. ”It’s true. Probably because everyone is going places, always rushing, always busy. It’s a hectic life, but a nice place to visit. Not like Canada, really.” She preferred Canada, and Maple Hollow that wasn’t quite as busy as the hub of activity that was New York City. Of course, there were places in the state away from the city that were peaceful, but she only knew the borough she’d grown up in, the Bronx. She chuckled a bit. ”Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be another element. But then I remember that I love being a hippie too much, and I stop.” Her eyes were sparkling, and it was amazing what her friends could do for her and her mood nowadays. She needed it, needed these people in her life to help her. But she didn’t want to be greedy or clingy, and that was what stopped her from revealing this.

Nell moved her foot a bit to gauge the pain in her ankle, and laughed as a nervous reaction when a tingling sensation ran up her leg. ”Must have fell on my foot at a weird angle,” she said nonchalantly, because it wasn’t bothering her as long as she kept it straight and still. That would make going to the medical wing difficult, but she’d manage. She’d travelled distances with worse. It warmed her in this freezing temperature to know that Gabi was concerned, but that was the part of her that liked to be selfish. The part that would rather have her friends not concern themselves with her problems said, ”I think the snow is working its magic,” she said with a half-smile, trying to remember not to move her ankle again lest she get another jolt of pain to remind her that she injured it. Instead of focusing on her pain, Nell watched as the older elemental used her water bottle to create ice, always astounded by shows like that of elemental prowess. She clapped her hands, which felt like the only uninjured part of her body. She grinned at the question and said, ”Sure. I can create a big leaf or something to hold it.” Of course, she didn’t know that Gab had anything on her, and she was willing to use her powers to help with that. It would be rather hard with the cold, but she simply looked for a leaf that had fallen from her healthy tree to the ground and used that instead of starting from scratch. It grew larger, curling at the ends until Nell believed it would be suited to her purposes. ”There,” she chimed. ”Now you can put the ice in there.” She placed it on her lap to balance it, waiting for Gab to fill it with her ice. It would certainly help, and Nell would of course thank her, but she wasn’t about to complain.

The Earth girl didn’t recognize Gab’s nervousness at the mention of the Fire element, even though her reply should have been a clue. She was wary of them, too—they had supported the Thunders in the war that targeted her and they had been not at all friendly in the war currently going on—but she could never be too stand-offish or angry with one. She wasn’t that type of person, and besides, her own boyfriend was one. He proved that not all stereotypes are true, even though Josh was very much a Fire, no matter who he aligned himself with. And speaking of stereotypes, Nell honestly didn’t mind them. It was why she was willing to be called a hippie, or have someone say that New Yorkers have bad attitude. Mainly because the latter is true. ”Now imagine an entire city of people like you,” she told her, because it was true. It was hub of activity, its nickname of ‘the city that never sleeps’ true—because everyone was too hopped up on coffee to get through their days. She enjoyed the energy, that was true, the fact that there was always something to do. But she’d grown a fondness for Canada in her year spent there. Maybe it was because of the Academy, or maybe because it was the place where she made her home as a free woman. Whatever it was, she knew that wherever she went, she’d always return to this place.

Gab’s words made her think. What we don’t have? Nell didn’t know if she yearned for anything, really. Of course it’d be nice to be Wind, but they were still forced to choose sides in a war like this. Otherwise, they would be sitting ducks. But that wasn’t something she yearned for, not at all. Was there anything that she did want more than anything else? It was often a dillemma she faced when folding her cranes. What would she wish for? Everyone to be safe and happy. No, Gabbi spoke of something you should want for yourself. That was the problem. Nell never thought about herself, so it was a chore to think of something that she wanted. ”I guess so,” she said airily. She thought too much nowadays, and she really wished that she could stop. After all, her thouhts were dangerous things now with sharp edges, ready to poke at her psyche and rip a hole in every defense she built up during her life. People. People will help. Talking to others kept her mind off of the bad things, after all.

Nell blinked, silence reigning in the copse of trees before she spoke again. ”Really?” she questioned curiosuly. ”What makes you say that?” She wasn’t trying to prove Gab wrong or anything, she was just curiously. Nell had never suffered from broken bones, mostly just cuts and bruises and split lips, cigarette burns and one incident that was free of repression that she’d rather not have to think about. It had never gone as far as broken bones—for which she was glad, because god knows it would have set wrong or she may have gotten an infection, and Mia wouldn’t have helped her. The thoughts slowly rose up to choke her, and she knew she should stop before she went too deep into her psyche. Usually that only happened when she was alone, and so she relied on Gab’s company to keep her from that. Nell nodded as she focused on thickening the leaf, trying to bond the molecules closer together before saying, ”Yeah, definitely better.” It made her colder, as well, but right now that wasn’t really a concern. She grinned at her friend. ”You should be a doctor or something, Gabs.” As usual, her compliment was sincere, and she was ready to give more whenever need be. Nell tilted her head. ”I think so. Nervous reaction to pain.” When she felt it, that was her immediate reaction. Luckily, she wasn’t the only one. Others with injuries sometimes laughed and cried at the same time when they got an injury. ”Why?”

Nell sat still like a good little patient when Gabi inspected her ankle. She hated feeling like a patient, but she was a cooperative one. Visits to the doctor didn’t bother her. She was compliant and nice and didn’t even care when when she had to get needles, for vaccinations or anything else. They didn’t really bother her, and she would give blood and watch the vial fill up without batting an eyelash. She’d experienced worse, and in giving blood, she was helping someone else. That was why she did it in the first place. However, she realized that now she was probably underweight, even though she hadn’t weighed herself in a long time. She was somewhat certain that she was under the 110 pound mark, which made her feel bad. Nell was destroying her body, and it was scary to realize just how much.

When Gabi replied, Nell simply smiled. She didn’t know that the other girl’s parents were doctors. She usually didn’t ask, and only came to know this information if a friend told her. ”I’m sure you can do it,” she said confidently. Of course, if one really didn’t like school, it wasn’t necessary to go through so much. But she had faith in her friends that they could do anything they wanted to. She made a wonderful motivational speaker to the people she cared about. ”But four more years does sound like a long time. If you’re passionate about it, though…” Josh certainly was, she knew that, so she expected him to be going to graduate school. It sometimes made her dizzy, thinking about the fact that he had a double major now and he was also going to go to medical school. Well, she at least believed he would, because that would be necessary for becoming a doctor. ”What do you want to do? Are you interested in the medical field?” Nell asked curiously, tilting her head, still being careful not to move her foot like she normally would have were it un-injured. If Gab didn’t want to go into it, she could just say that she didn’t know, and so it wasn’t a too-personal question.

Nell nodded when the Water elemental explained her reasoning, feeling the chill seeping deep now with the added ice. She wasn’t worried about getting sick, however—she never did. She considered that one time when she had the flu as a freak incident, but she would also be quicker to acknowledge sickness if she fell ill again, no matter how much it scared her. I’m already ill, she thought, reminding herself of the clinical depression. That was something mentally wrong with her, and it terrified her. She was once assured that she wouldn’t become like her mother thanks to Josh’s research, but she wasn’t so sure now that she had a similar illness. ”Go ahead,” she told Gabi when the girl kneeled in the snow. She lifted up her leg a bit, proud in how she didn’t wince at all even though there was some more pain. ”I don’t mind. I’m already cold enough,” she joked about having her shoe take off. It might actually be nice, having her sneaker removed because her ankle was definitely swelling.

Nell liked it when her friends told her about their families. It may have been wrong of her, considering how little they knew about her own, but she really liked to know about the dynamics of every person’s lives. So she could ask “How’s Michael doing?” or “Did your mother finally take down the Christmas decorations?” because she always remembered the little things. ”I would think so,” she said, smiling when Bag mentioned the ER. She’d only been there twice, once after her mother had stabbed her, and the second after she’d had an allergic reaction to okra. Still, the things seen there were not very pleasant. When the Water girl told her about her future occupation, Nell grinned. ”So that basically is a doctor, right?” she said. ”See, I knew you had the smarts. It’s like ESP or something, I swear.” She was only joking of course, even though she pulled quite the serious face for that.

Then Gab asked what she wanted to do, and Nell didn’t really have an answer for that. ”I haven’t really thought about it,” she replied honestly, feeling like a loser next to Gab’s obvious ambition. How could she surround herself with such driven people who wanted to be doctors, and she couldn’t even think of anything she wanted to do with her life. ”There’s so many interesting occupations out there, though. I just need to settle on one, yanno.” She was majoring in English and Literature, mainly because that’s what she liked and was good at. Her mind wandered to the question of whether or not her father would approve, or if he’d rather have her major in World Language, which almost drew a laugh from her. But then she remembered the way she was treating him, and it seemed much less humorous. ”I have time,” she finished off, scratching the back of her head and closing an eye as if considering her options. What did she want to do with all this freedom she had? What did she like doing? As of late, sleeping would be tops on the list, but she didn’t think one could do that for a living.

She leaned over to get a look at her ankle after Gab rolled it down, and wrinkled her nose before smiling. ”Looks like I’m about to grow a second foot.” The sight didn’t bother her too much, and she thought of how a doctor could have been a great occupation considering she wouldn’t mind surgeries. But then she thought of her grades, and the stress, and didn’t know if that was right for her. Nell shrugged at the question. ”Eh, I guess people react to pain differently,” she said nonchalantly. Nell wasn’t much of a crier, especially when it came to physical pain, and she’d built up an unfortunate tolerance to certain injuries. Of course, she still felt pain, just not in the extreme amounts as she once would have. Gab was rather professional in her care of the wounded ankle, and Nell thought of how she’d make an excellent PA. She’d make an excellent anything, really, it was clear in everything about the Water graduate. Nell didn’t wince when she tightened the hankerchief around her ankle, though it did send a sharp pain through her body. ”Can do,” Nell said obediently. ”So what’s the diagnosis? Sprain…or worse?” She said the last part with an air of dramatics, grinning afterward. Even though she knew Gab was serious about this, she couldn’t help the joking.