* go out in style, [josh]

Joshua was bored. Unable to find anything to occupy himself and with nothing on television—not that he really enjoyed television to begin with—the Fire graduate had resorted to sitting on the couch and stroking Apache, who was curled up quite contentedly beside him. He felt a little bad about putting all of his cats in such a small space (at least, small compared to the mansion they were used to) but he not been able to resist the urge when his mother requested he take them off her hands and Nell had agreed. He loved his pets and liked having them close, especially when he heard the familiar and loud purr of the blind cat penetrate the air. His long white fur was soft and sleek and his bright, bright blue eyes were closed. Josh was not sure where the others were but knew that they could not be far. I bet Eris is with Pablo. Having two destructive menaces in one apartment was also a bad idea in retrospect but he pushed the thought away. He couldn't just leave Eris behind and take the rest. She'd grown used to the company of the other pets. Even with his cats, though, Joshua could not seem to shirk the boredom. Suppressing a sigh, his thoughts went to Nell. Where was she? He'd never asked where she was going but he did not worry too much about her. They both had their own lives separate from one another as well as different groups of friends. Nell also had a job, so he figured that she could be working today. Maybe we could do something together when she gets back, he thought. She was a good cure for boredom, both in the innocent sense and out of it.

He gave Apache one last scratch behind the ears and stood when he heard the key in the lock, taking a few steps toward the door before it actually opened and his fiancée entered. He gave her a smile, not immediately noticing that anything was wrong. The kiss distracted him still further and he slid his hands around her waist as she put hers around his neck, deepening it briefly before he allowed them to separate. He would have been content to stay like that for a while longer but he was also curious to know what she'd been up to. It was only when he noticed how careful her movements were and caught a glimpse of her arm that he recognised something was wrong. "Not much, I've been inside all day," he replied dismissively, sounding as distracted as he looked, his slate-gray gaze fixed on her wrist. "Shit, your arm! Are you alright?" He tried not to act too much like a mother hen with his fiancée but sometimes he could not fight back his concerns. He stuck close as she went into the kitchen, noticing now that the injuries were a bit more extensive than he'd been expecting. His expression was a mixture of worry and curiosity. What the heck had she been doing to get those kids of marks on herself. "Does it hurt a whole lot? Is there anything deep?" The words felt automatic as they slipped from his tongue. Though they were usually spoken in a formal and business-like manner, they were a lot softer and more sympathetic when he was addressing Nell.

He'd assumed at first that she was just at work or out late with friends. Josh might have been a pessimist by nature but he was not always thinking the worst—most days were average, mundane. Can't we ever catch a break? He chewed the inside of his lip uncertainly as he hovered in the entrance to the kitchen, watching as she cleaned her cuts and scrapes in the sink. A part of him wanted to offer help but he also didn't want to seem too pushy. "Where were you?" he asked, then immediately afterwards, "What happened?" He knew that he was bombarding her with questions and clamped his mouth shut to avoid asking any more. Instead he just touched his hand to an uninjured part of her arm in concern and pressed his lips to her cheek briefly. He did not know what else to do. Could it be those bastards again? He was thinking of the gang and the lengths they'd gone to the first time. He did not assume death. Who would? He hoped that he was just looking too far into this, that it had just been a simple trip over a curb or something similarly trivial. At least that would mean an easy fix, even if she was a little banged up because of it. If it was the gang... No, no, he didn't want to think about them unless he was sure. He swallowed and waited expectantly for her answer.

Joshua was not immediately convinced by her words, especially when she originally brushed things off as being 'fine'. Just as Nell assumed he would, Josh immediately associated these words with lies. Thankfully she added onto her dismissive claim and he hesitated, his gaze sweeping the scrapes and cuts with clear anxiety. They did not look bad and there was not a whole lot of blood but he was still worried about her—it was only natural for him to be worried. This was his fiancée, after all. He winced sympathetically as he thought of how badly the water probably made the wounds smart but nodded after a second. "Alright," he relented, relieved that she was not too badly hurt. "I just worry about you, Nelly. You know that." He offered a strained sort of smile and tried to force the tension in his muscles to subside. When it did, Josh leaned against the counter and watched the cat without really taking in the form of the feline, instead distracted by his thoughts and curiosities. Nell had not yet offered anything about how she'd gotten the injuries of her own volition and so he decided to ask at that point. He was able to suppress personal or pesky questions with strangers but this woman was no stranger to him. She knew him better than anyone else and vice versa. It was not that she owed him an explanation, far from it, but he did want to know what was going on. He was frightened for her.

His thoughts lingered on the gang for a moment and his gray eyes widened when she mentioned a car, but those thoughts were pushed aside a moment later when he worked around his panic to realise that the car had not actually hit her. It had hit... Leo? Joshua did not have a strong sense of empathy but he'd found himself rather fond of the Earth elemental. They'd shared some friendly conversations about books and Josh had even taught him how to defend himself from the bullies that had caused him so much hell. Though Nell's sombre mood made him fear to ask, he could not help but inquired, "Leonard... is he...?" The silent 'alright' seemed to hang in the air. He figured that Nell would understand what he was asking. Joshua, too, did not know a lot about handling death. He'd not lost anyone important to him in a long time. There had been his grandmother on Patrick's side but he'd been young and they hadn't been terribly close. This was a friend—not a best friend, not his other half, but still a friend. So when Nell shook her head, Josh was silent. He couldn't fight off a car no matter how hard he tried. He felt regret momentarily and then realised that this boy had pushed Nell away from the oncoming car. If he had not been there, she would be the one lying motionless at the side of the road. It would be the police or the hospital phoning him to tell him that there had been an accident, that he needed to come to the hospital. They would not tell him that she was dead until he arrived. He felt sorrow for Leo's death but knew he would not have traded Nell up instead.

He wrapped his arms around Nell as she leaned against his chest, glad to provide that stability and comfort that she was probably needing right about now. Death was not easy on anyone that it affected, especially not when the deceased was a good friend. "He didn't?" Joshua had not known much about the Earth elemental. He'd known the boy was bullied and that he had very few friends but he had been unaware that he was without a family as well. He knew a sort of pity for him. No one should have to be alone. Josh understood what it was to be without friends. He understood what it was like for your family to turn their backs. But he'd never lost either of them. He'd always had either or—sometimes a little of both. He couldn't imagine how Leo must have felt. A large part of him didn't want to try. "They'll need to hold a funeral," he said as the thought came to mind. The family usually paid for such affairs, didn't they? Leonard didn't have any family. Would he be buried in a rickety box or incinerated so that the province didn't have to deal with him either? Josh didn't like the idea of his friend not receiving a proper burial. Especially not for what he sacrificed himself for. He held Nell against his chest, pressed his lips to her hair. If it weren't for Leo, I'd have lost you, he thought, but did not say this aloud. He did not want to sound too selfish. "I could do something about that," he said quietly. "I know he didn't have much but... hey, he had us, right?" He shrugged, not sure what else to say. "Will you be alright?"

Orphaned. It wasn't a word he was used to using when it came to his friends—he wasn't used to knowing much about his friends. Some would argue that he was not their true friend if he knew nothing about them at all but Josh begged to differ quite easily. He would still give almost anything for his (closest) friends even though they knew nothing about his past and the gang and all of the things he'd went through. He considered this with a thoughtful frown. He had no one. How did he cope? It was not a depressing thought but a confused one. What did you live for if you truly had nothing? Joshua saw suicide as the weak man's way out and so that had always stopped him from considering it when he was struggling. He'd been too proud and stubborn to let life beat him down. What of Leo? The boy had been made of thicker stuff than Josh realised. "Of course," he replied without hesitation, already solidifying the decision in his mind. The funeral wouldn't be too crowded considering Leonard had no family and very few friends but it didn't seem right to send him off with nothing. He and Nell would be there, if no one else. "He deserves as much." Josh had been to his grandmother's funeral and it had made him nervous. There were tons of relatives he didn't know and people crying. As a person that did not show very much emotion, he'd felt out of place in their midst. He felt like they would be judging him for his lack of tears.

Now, as an adult and a much more confident person, Josh felt none of that fear. He did not care what others thought of him like he had used to and so it was easy to shirk judgements and just follow what he thought to be right. And this was right—this was a kind service for a kind person, a kind friend. Joshua was an atheist who did not believe in an afterlife, so he could not take comfort in the fact that Leonard was in a 'better' place or that he was resting in peace with the family he had lost. He did not think that there was any chance of him saying hi to Nell's sister, but he had the sense to keep his mouth shut. He would allow her the comforts that he would not allow himself. "I'm glad we could do that for him." Though it was spoken steadily and without any audible sort of grief, the comment was sincere. Josh was very solid and stubborn when it came to grieving. He did not like anyone to see his human weaknesses (or, well, elemental weaknesses) and so he kept any tears held back and any shakiness to a minimum. Nell did not seem to have such a liberty but he did not judge her for being shaken up. If he'd been the one to witness it, to brush so close to death, Josh admitted to himself that he would not be as calm as he was. "He saved your life," added Josh. "It's the least I can do." You mean so much to me. I couldn't lose you instead.

His lips twitched into a relieved half-smile when she said that she'd be fine, glad that she didn't seem to be shutting down. He didn't know what he'd do if she slipped back into the depression that had plagued her for months. It had been difficult for him to deal with it once and he didn't know if he had the strength to do it over again. "I'm alright," he said honestly. "I promise." His relief over not losing Nell also balanced out the grief that he had. He was glad to have her by his side. It was terrible that he had to lose a friend for that but it was a sacrifice that had to be made. He really lived up to his name. He had a lions heart. "We should do something together," he suggested, not even bothering for subtlety when it came to changing the subject. He wanted to move away from the idea of death. He didn't deal with death, he ignored it. It probably wasn't the best way to go about things but there would be time for regret later. Right now he wanted to be cheerful and do something with his fiancée. "I was wondering what had took you in getting back, actually. I've been inside all day, like I said." He understood now that Leonard's death and the accident had probably taken up a good chunk of time and did not question it further.

Joshua did indeed remember what Nell had told him about her religious beliefs, merely interpreting her words about saying hello to her sister in a different manner than was intended. He didn't realise that she was just repeating something Leonard had said, had assumed that she was perhaps taking comfort in the idea in order to stay the guilt or sadness. In truth, Josh wasn't sure what Nell was feeling and he was a bit too hesitant to pry further into her emotions. It might have been selfish, but that dam was not one that he wanted to break. Let her recover. Let her be happy. He wanted his fiancée to be happy. Even if that meant not grieving, not acknowledging their friend's death as much as they should have. He could not ward off his selfish desires—even though he wanted her to be happy, he had the ulterior motive of his own contentment to look out for as well. He didn't want to fall back into the old ways. He also didn't want her to close herself off to him and abstain from the relationship because he was being insensitive but Joshua wasn't sure what else to do. Despite doing a lot for the girl in their relationship he still couldn't focus solely on the needs of another for long periods of him. "A leopard never changes it's spots," as they say. His spots might have shifted around and some became more prominent while others faded but the many facets of his personality were still existent.

At the question, several ideas flashed through his mind. He weeded out the ones she surely wouldn't approve of after someone had just died and instead tried to focus on more relaxing, fun things. He didn't think they could watch anything involving death or do anything involving a whole lot of physical affection. He wasn't going to use Leonard's death to his advantage, after all. He just didn't want to focus on it. Thinking about the death made it that much more real in his mind—he didn't want to think on the fact that he'd never again share a conversation about the rain with the guy or teach him how to correctly position himself to block a punch. Things like that were painful and he'd never done particularly well with pain. "Well that depends," he said, shrugging. "Would you rather stay inside or go out?" Joshua would have preferred the latter but he also wanted to give Nell a choice. She'd just been nearly taken out by a car and he could understand that she might be averse to hanging around a whole lot of them. He also could have been wrong. Joshua was not inside of her head and he couldn't begin to imagine what went on in there all hours of the day. Everyone was different and all people had a different way of dealing with things. He ignored them, and Nell... well, she did something. He wasn't entirely clear on what it was.

He went into the living room and sat down on the couch, once again pushing a fleeting thought about Leo to the side for later consideration. He didn't want to grieve. He wouldn't. One of the cats jumped into his lap and he stroked its fur without identifying it, his thoughts on other things. Like activities, Nell, Leo—no, no, not on Leo. "I mean, if we stay inside we could always play cards or watch TV." Though he suggested them, they were not things that he was particularly psyched up for doing. He was suggesting the former because he knew it was something that Nell enjoyed and the latter merely because it was a common activity when two people were hanging out. They could make out, too, he supposed, but he was pretty sure that suggestion would be categorized as 'insensitive'. "Hey, Nell, your friend just died because of you. Wanna make out?" It didn't sound very great even in his head so he didn't consider it much at all. "If we wanted to leave the house there's... a lot more things to do, I guess. Bike riding, roller-blading—though I don't know how—driving around, hiking... that sort of thing." His tone sounded just as general as it had when he'd suggested indoor things. He really just wanted something to do. Hell, he'd even play video games right now if it meant taking their minds off of the death.

Sometimes Joshua admired the way that Nell could do as he did and shut out everything negative, put on a smile for other people. When they both tried to pretend like nothing was wrong for the sake of others, it was almost as if it made things alright again. Of course, the fact that he was ignoring the death of his friend was certainly not alright and he'd regret it later, surely, but for now it felt like the proper thing to do. He didn't cry, he didn't want to mourn, didn't want any of that. Silently, he decided that he would deal with things when they had to hold the funeral and that was all. Even someone as thick-skinned as Josh would be affected by a funeral and so he could deal with all his conflicting and confusing emotions when that time came. For now, he had Nell. "I can ride a bike," he said. "We've got some up at my parents'. Roller blades, though... I don't think I ever bought any of those." He had never possessed the particular desire to learn roller-blading and so he had never needed a pair of the skate-like shoes. He couldn't skate, either. He'd heard people say that roller-blading was a lot like skating on the ground but what the hell did you go off of if you weren't sure how to do either? At least roller-blades don't have blades. He wasn't afraid of sharp objects in particular but there was still something terrifying about falling when you had sharp, cutting steel at the bottom of your feet. He decided that he'd try roller-blading before he'd ever try skating and if he was alright at it, he might chance the more dangerous activity.

Comfortable with the idea of doing everything in a day—the more things they did, the less time they had to dwell on things—Joshua asked her, "Well, let's decide what to do first." He doubted a hiking trail was a suitable place to try and learn roller-blading or bike-riding and you couldn't do the latter activities at the same time, either. He figured that the large road that led out of town might be a good place to practice roller-blading since it was an open and mostly flat, paved area. There were cars to worry about but the road was not all that busy and they could always stick to the side of it where it was safe. Nell, though. Maybe just the park. She might not have been afraid of cars at the moment but he still didn't want to be in any place that ran the risk of another accident. There was no one else but Josh to protect her this time. And he would, of course he would, but it wouldn't do very good for her to lose a close friend and her fiancée in the same day. "We'll need to drive around anyway to get all this stuff done, so that's out. Would you rather hike and then try our hand at learning things, or do you want to leave the hiking for when we need a break?" He figured he could teach her what he knew about bike riding (it wasn't anything special but at least he knew) and then they could try and work out roller-blading together. The latter was bound to be entertaining seeing as neither of them had a clear idea of what they'd be doing.

He stood up and went to the closet in order to grab a sweater for fending off the cold. He wasn't going to take his jacket, though. Then he remembered the snow and frowned—how would he be able to get rid of it without the mortals noticing so that they could get things done? "Know any secluded areas where people don't hang around much, Nell?" It might have sounded like a strange question but he didn't worry too much about that. The only thing he could think of was the warehouses. It was probably safe to hang around there now that they'd gotten the last of the gang out of the way but the area still made him nervous. It probably unsettled her as well, though he'd never thought to ask. We've both nearly died there, I'm sure she's not too fond of it. Although their experiences had been equally traumatizing, Josh was likely even less fond of the place than she was. He had memories there beyond the near-kidnap. He'd spent a good chunk of time there, hanging around with the guys and thinking that it was the coolest place on Earth. It had never bothered him that it was rundown and derelict and that there was no running water. It hadn't bugged him that they were hiding out there because they'd done something illegal. But it certainly bothered him now to think on how stupid he'd been in youth. "There's always the warehouse complex," he suggested regardless, shrugging. "But I don't know—are you comfortable with going there?"

He nodded in agreement, also not really caring which order they did things in. Decisions helped to keep structure in the world and in his life, though, and Joshua lived for structure. He couldn't handle when things got too tough or they spun out of control. He liked to be in charge of what he was doing and what was going on and he didn't like to leave a whole lot up to chance—not even something as simple as hanging out with his fiancée. That was why he'd felt so pressured and confused when the trial was coming up, why he'd chosen to ignore it and not face it. There had been far too many 'what ifs' back then for his liking. There would always be some questions, no one could predict the future, but now everything felt a lot more stable and solid. He could look to the future and envision himself as married because they were engaged and that was a likely path to take. Sure, they could end up fighting and breaking it off but that was just the risks of life. "We could just stop by the sports shop," he pointed out. "They've got all kinds of things." Bikes, roller-blades, skates, all manner of equipment for any sort of sport you wanted to get up to. It was located close to the recreational centre for obvious reasons but Joshua had only ever been in there once to get his tennis equipment. He didn't have a strong interest in sports and, other than tennis, would settle for using the sports centre's stuff if he did have some sort of urge to play. Such urges did not come often. He enjoyed physical activity and keeping himself fit but he didn't really find basketball or baseball or anything of the sort fun.

Josh frowned as he considered the empty parking lots, not really sure about them. They might have been empty but that didn't rule out anyone driving or walking past. He wouldn't have a very logical explanation to how all of the snow had melted and left the ground completely dry if someone asked and it wasn't an explanation that could be easily made up on the fly. "Empty enough that they won't notice a huge patch of ground without snow?" He arched his brows as he clued her in on what he was thinking. It would be much too difficult for them to drag bikes and roller-blades through snow. He'd never tried roller-blading even in the summer and figured it would be a lot more dangerous and perhaps even possible when there was slush and snow getting stuck between the wheels. No, he wanted to make sure the ground was safe. That meant utilizing his powers. I wish the Academy had somewhere we could practice, he thought, but dismissed it. The parking lot was too dangerous and there was no suitable paved areas in the school. Something told him they wouldn't appreciate students using the halls or gym as a training ground so it had to be somewhere in the Hollow. "No," he admitted. "I can't say for sure. But it is pretty deserted most of the time." The gang had chosen it as their ideal hide-away area because it was far from witnesses and the like. They still controlled (or, had controlled) some of the streets downtown but they'd needed a reliable place to run when the cops were in pursuit. They'd been followed to the warehouses before but the complex was so large that the police were often unable to find anything. It was something they'd counted on.

He wondered what she meant by 'trouble' but didn't ask, just said, "I think we should be alright." It wasn't like the place was crawling with gang members and he figured they wouldn't get into too much trouble from the police. It was probably trespassing but they could insist that they hadn't noticed any signs if they were caught. Bike riding and roller-blading wasn't exactly a criminal offence and he hoped that any cops would let them off easy. "Do you own a bike?" he asked, furrowing his brow. He'd never seen one and so he assumed that was a 'no', moving on. "We could actually buy one, or you could borrow one. I wouldn't mind—we've got to stop by my parents' anyway to pick mine up." He had several but there was a specific one that was his favourite and the one he usually chose if he was going out riding. He didn't ride his bike a whole lot (he had a sports car, after all, which was much more fun) but he still enjoyed the activity when he did. "Either way, I guess we'd better get going." He tugged down his shirt and adjusted his sweater before going over and putting on his boots, ready to head out. "I think we'd better take your car," he said. "Harper's not exactly the best for carting bikes around." She was one sexy car but convenience was something that was compromised because of that.

He thought about what she'd said, not really sure whether he wanted to chance the parking lot and hope that no one came around or just head out to the warehouses where there definitely wouldn't be a whole lot of life. Joshua was a cautious person and sometimes he could take it overboard in his desire to protect his powers from the knowledge of mortals. He'd already had a couple of close calls and they'd been pretty nerve-racking. Not eager for a repeat experience but also not wanting to put Nell and himself into danger by going to the warehouses instead, he found himself torn. "I guess," he replied, sounding as doubtful as he felt. He wasn't really sure about either of their options but he didn't want to just abandon the idea. He was glad for the chance to be getting out of the house and putting the death behind them. It wasn't that Leonard didn't matter to Joshua, he just wasn't that big on wallowing in sorrow and pity. He didn't do very well when it came to negative emotions and so positive was the way to go. Sitting still or hanging around the house left too much time for thinking and dwelling on things. "Then again, we don't really want to chance getting into trouble." He ran a hand through his hair, mildly frustrated. Hating the fact that there were two choices and neither of them seemed very sunny, he said decisively, "Let's chance the parking lot. It's closer anyway." He knew his mother would disapprove of how reckless it could potentially be but Joshua didn't care. He'd feed anyone that asked a bullshit story so that they wouldn't suspect anything. Say that they'd laid down salt or that it had just looked that way when they'd got there.

He hadn't thought of the lack of space—even though he lived in the apartment with her, Joshua still had the mindset of someone who had grown up with space for everything and anything. He hadn't considered the fact that they'd need somewhere to put the bike when and if she purchased it and he nodded when she spoke, seeming absent as he racked his brains. "Is there anywhere you could chain it outside?" He'd never thought to look around the building for a possible bike rack or metal fence that it could be padlocked to. There was always a risk in leaving your bike outdoors that someone was going to steal it but it was better than having nowhere to put it at all. He assumed she didn't want to put it at her Dad's house due to the way she'd dismissed that idea as 'stupid'. "Well, I suppose that depends on how much you like biking," he said thoughtfully when she spoke of convenience. "It wouldn't be all that great to own something you never use but it would suck not to have a bike if you really did enjoy it." Blinking, he said, "That reminds me—you wouldn't mind if I grabbed my tennis equipment from the house, would you? I'd like having that nearby." Hauling his ass all the way to his parents' whenever he wanted to enjoy a game of tennis was a pain. Again, there was always the recreational centre but not everyone he played with had a membership there. It was better to just have his own equipment. "I won't bring the net or anything," he assured her, because it was quite large. "Just the rackets and balls."

Joshua laughed when Nell pet the steering wheel of the car, patting the dashboard and playing along. "I'll be glad when winter is over." He missed being able to speed down the streets in his Lamborghini or bask in the sun. He might not feel the cold but he did miss the heat. "That's the plan," he said. Once they'd gotten their stuff at the sports store and dropped by his parents' house to get his own stuff and then found a deserted parking lot large enough, Joshua stood in its centre and analysed the area, trying to get a feel for how much heat he should use and how far out he would let it touch. Then he waved his hand slowly (taking care to protect Nell from the blast) and a searing hot wave washed over the area. The snow melted easily and some of the water left behind dried—he sent out a second, less powerful wave to make sure there weren't any puddles that could freeze into inconvenient black ice. "Right, I think we're good," he said, satisfied. Most of the heat was dispelling but it still felt more like a warm day in spring rather than a chilly winter afternoon. He took his sweater off and yawned. "What first, bikes or blades?"