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Post by ISRAEL JEREMIAH VALENTINE on Aug 15, 2012 4:49:05 GMT -5
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trapped in time.
issy didn't want tutoring. He knew he wasn't the most book smart person, even if he was by no means ignorant. Understanding the work wasn't his problem. He understood it well when he paid attention. But his attention had been pulled elsewhere as of late, away from school and class and to where he felt it should be—his personal life. His family needed him more than school did. Even though his mother clearly didn't want much to do with him, and his father just wanted a son to be the figurehead of his success, he felt as if he was needed more. In truth, his brother's death affected him more than he let on. Raine knew, she spent so much time around him, but no one else got a key inside his head, no one else could get to the truth. He was trying his best to repress it and not think about it, but obviously it had affected his schoolwork. It was the reason he failed the eleventh grade, as a matter of fact. His parents had certainly not been happy about that. Even his practically catatonic mother had looked at him with disappointment when she'd gotten the call, but it had been his father to lecture israel. It had been brutal, and hour long, and the boy felt exhausted afterward. He'd climbed into bed, pulled the blankets over his head, and tried to disappear from the world. He didn't cry. He hadn't even cried at his brothers' funeral. His father would not have approved of that.
As much as he didn't want the tutoring, that morning he woke up early to get ready for it. That morning consisted of him tripping over the dog who'd somehow gotten into his room during the night, almost hitting his head on the sink, and a shower filled with the notes of call me maybe, a song that had been haunting his thoughts for longer than any song should be in his head. He dressed in a nice shirt with suspenders to hold up his pants, and a hat, which his visiting aunt told him not to wear in the house. As soon as he skirted around a corner and down the stairs, he replaced the hat on his head and went to get some breakfast. It was in the kitchen that he was most aware of his absent brother, who would be up already. And he would tell issy to sit down so he could use the spoon to launch cereal into his mouth. Today, though, the wind student simply took out a carton of milk and poured it into the small bowl of cereal as he waited for other people to wake up.
His house was huge, and he was always aware of it as he sat at the far end of the table and looked out through the archway into the sitting room with its fourty-two inch. He always appreciated the things he had, and that was one reason he was so against letting his sorrow show. How could he mourn a lost brother when he had so many material professions? How could he whine about the lack of maternal love when he had a stainless steal refrigerator with a constantly stocked fridge? He didn't want to seem ungrateful. It was one thing that people noticed about him when they did notice him. Otherwise, he was the phantom of the house. People knew he was there, but they didn't realie that he was a real person until he came out and shook a few hands, introduced himself as Israel, but everyone should just call him issy. He didn't like meeting new people, but he was not unfriendly. He was more or less a hamster who liked to run on his wheel more than interact with other hamsters. And from having one as a child, he knew that certain types prefered solitairy existence. Like him.
As he finished off the bowl of cereal and cleaned it himself, his father walked in, dressed in a suit with a thin tie. Issy smiled at him, but the man barely acknowledged him, save to question whether or not he was going to knox's today. ”yeah, dad,” he responded, trying not to be too snippy because this was just the usual run of the mill conversation for the two of them. If his father noticed his tone, he didn't make note of it, simply filled up his cup with orange juice. While he had been waiting for someone to come into the kitchen, issy realized he hadn't been waiting for this man. He'd been waiting for someone who wouldn't come to the table.
Instead of lingering, he grabbed his messenger bag and decided to walk to knox's place for exercise purposes. He needed to stay in shape, and he was always conscious of his physical fitness. Every afternoon he'd go out to the screened porch and do his yoga. Today seemed like it would be a nice day for that, and he would await it with bated breath. He was also waiting to see knox with bated breath. It had been a long time since he'd last seen him, having not gone to parties with his parents in a while. Now he was old enough, he resisted if he could. Not that his father approved, but as he learned through life, he didn't approve of much.
It took a little while to get to Knox's place, and he had a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead, but he knocked on the door with a dreamy little smile. He always looked like he had his head in the clouds, and that much hasn't changed. He would always be the same issy. ”hey,” he said when the door opened, his smile having faltered a bit, but he quickly regained it in a flash. Seeing knox again made him realize just how long it had been, how different they both were. Older. Knox should be in college by now, he believed, and not for the first time he felt guilt for having flunked, for letting everyone down. He took his hat off and held it to his chest when he said, ”i-it's been a while.” he knew why he was so nervous, but he didn't want to say it out loud, not to knox. Instead, he walked in when the boy let him, looked around the house he also hadn't been over in so long. It hadn't changed too much, but he wondered how much about his friend had changed. There were a lot of questions, but he didn't want to bombard the earth boy so quickly. Manners reminded him that it wouldn't be the best thing to do, and he also wondered if he was the same shy kid that he remembered. Maybe he grew up and out of the stuttering stage, maybe he could speak more than three words in a sentence.
Issy went up to Knox's room to wait while the latter took care of something or other, he didn't ask, still too overwhelmed by the past coming back in a rush. He entered the room slowly, curious eyes darting around to take it all in like a thief might. When he walked in, he took off the messenger bag and placed it on the bed. While he could have done something more innocent to occupy his time, he took to snooping around the room, picking things up and placing them back down, studying every detail that he could see. Eventually he found a leatherbound book that was obviously a photo album, and he laid across the bed on his stomach as he flipped through the pages, knox's memories. Baby pictures, pictures with relatives, the past coming alive and reminding him that he once knew this child. A small smile graced his lips. He missed this. He missed knox.
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Post by KNOX CAESAR KETILL on Aug 19, 2012 17:06:51 GMT -5
ACROSS THE GREAT DIVIDE, ! | [th]  [bg=000000][atrb=border,0,true] | tag ! stark && issy ;; word count ! 1 248 ;;
setting ! knox’s room ;; outfit ! jeans and a t-shirt ;; [cs=2][bg=060606][atrb=border,0,true,b] | Raine had approached him about the tutoring. She’d said her boyfriend was having some trouble, though he was a smart guy, and that he was the only person who could help. Apparently. It had made him want to roll his eyes. Surely that wasn’t the case. There were tons of other smart people out there, and many of them were better at the whole talking process than he was. She hadn’t mentioned who her boyfriend was at the time, but she had managed to make him agree to a date and time for a first meeting to see how things went. He found out who it was he would be tutoring only when she texted a messenger on his computer to ask if he was late. He blinked at the name for a minute, struck by recognition and trying to place a face to it. When he finally succeeded, he was stunned for a minute. They hadn’t chatted in years. They’d met through their parents, so, he supposed, it was natural they hadn’t: once Knox was old enough to avoid the parties, he had. He didn’t like the big groups or the fact that they were usually strangers, even if the same people came more than once. The faces could be remotely familiar, perhaps even the names, but he knew nothing about the people and probably never would. They would probably never remember him either, except as the kid of those two lawyers.
The lawyers who, as usual, were absent from the house. It’d be just him and his childhood friend, with the whole house to themselves. The maid wouldn’t come in again until Monday because his parents had given her the weekend off (and warned him absently not to make a mess in the meantime). The gardener rarely came into the house except to use the bathroom if his hands weren’t too dirty, and, while he sometimes brought her, his niece never entered except for the same purpose. The little girl was almost as painfully shy as Knox happened to be, which thankfully wasn’t too huge an issue because they didn’t interact anyway and because it kept her from irritating him when he was doing homework and writing.
It was the latter he interrupted when he noticed someone coming up the endless driveway. Finishing his last few thoughts (he certainly had time to, considering the distance the other had to walk before he’d get to the front door), he then closed the word document and logged off on his laptop. He closed it and stared at the spotless plastic for a moment. He needed to make a back-up of all his files and data, which would probably take quite a while, but it’d be worth it. He didn’t want to lose all his writing. He didn’t really want to lose his old homework assignments either, because they could be quite useful for later projects and studying, but they’d be less of a problem if the computer did crash at some point. It had lasted him a little while, so he didn’t know how much longer the contraption would survive, but he also took good care of it. He didn’t use it to play games, so the only thing that usually took up space on the thing were the writing documents, the various drafts and outlines and notes-to-self he kept there, as well as the homework. Sometimes, for powerpoints, there were pictures involved, but otherwise his desktop was pretty much band. He had a few folders, but there was nothing else on the otherwise blue background.
Admittedly, even he found it a little boring, but the background didn’t have to be entertaining. That wasn’t what a computer was for, after all. He shrugged it off and made his way down the stairs, running a hand through his hair as he went. Tutoring. It was not an activity he enjoyed, because he actually needed to talk and explain thing, and he really wasn’t good at that, especially if asked to do so without butchering words. He didn’t even know what the other needed help with. He just hoped it wouldn’t be math. It was one of his weaknesses. Numbers just didn’t like to work for him. Of course, Raine probably wouldn’t have asked him to help out with math, because she knew his problems with the topic.
The knock reached his ears just as he got to the end of the hallway, and he opened the door quickly to usher his old friend in. The air-conditioned air battled with the heat from outside, exchanging for a minute before Knox was able to close the door and keep the chill inside. He didn’t dare touch the temperature gauge (whatever it was called), even if he got a little chilly, though it certainly explained why he was wearing full-length jeans in June. His gaze flickered over the other. He nodded absently in agreement, not sure what else to say. A greeting escape him. It was odd seeing someone after so many years of failing to communicate. They’d be separated now by a grade or even two. Mathematics again. He’d be avoiding that.
It was an odd sort of relief that coursed through him as he watched Issy hop up the stairs to his room. It was like it saved him from having to figure out what he should be saying, because he certainly had to say something. Well, not anymore. He grabbed two sodas from the fridge and dumped some potato chips into a large bowl. Placing these on a tray, he carefully made his way up the stairs to his room, chanting a mantra in his head— Don’t drop it. Don’t trip. Don’t drop it. Don’t trip. And so on. He took a deep breath once he stood outside his room, a mixture of relief and nerves. He was fine being with a friend, but the tutoring part still unnerved him. Were they even still something he could consider friends? They hadn’t seen each other in so long. They had drifted apart for their various reasons, and now… the girl Knox’s parents wanted him to marry was dating him and throwing them together for tutoring sessions. It wasn’t the most normal situation he could think of. Not by a long shot.
He nudged the door open with his hip and backed into the room, closing the door again with his knee and thankfully maintaining his balance. He placed the tray on his desk, not noticing immediately what Issy was looking at until he tuned around and flushed scarlet. He’d hidden the photo album from his parents a few years before, knowing they wouldn’t go into his room to look for it, for the sole reason of the pictures that were slipped just under the back cover. His stomach hopped into his throat as he saw the other turn the page and discover the pictures he wished didn’t exist anymore. He should have shredded them or burned them or something. But then, he hadn’t really expect anyone to find them. He wanted to lunge forward and take the book away from him, all in the hopes that Issy wouldn’t see the embarrassing pictures of his nude, child self, but he wasn’t that sort of person. He was passive. Sometimes, such as now, that could be a terrible thing. He swallowed. “How-how did… did y-you f-fi-fi-find th-that?” he stuttered out nervously. |
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Post by ISRAEL JEREMIAH VALENTINE on Aug 19, 2012 20:06:52 GMT -5
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trapped in time.
Issy should have been more flustered to be caught redhanded with the photo album, but he wasn't. He didn't see any reason for Knox to be embarrassed by the pictures. Everyone had this big phobia of their baby pictures being seen because of the nakedness, and he didn't understand the reason for that. They were baby pictures, which meant how your butt looked then didn't matter. Everyone had a butt, and genitalia, and seeing it didn't make a difference. Maybe it was because he was a lot more open about his own pictures. With his own baby book, he'd open it for guests and show off his naked little ass and talk about how adorable he used to be. And he was still adorable, if he said so himself. He had enough confidence to admit that.
He shifted on his stomach so he could look over and see Knox with a tray in his hand. The Earth boy was blushing, but that was a usual condition for him and Israel thought nothing of it. Him being his usual shy self. It was endearing, actually, and he rolled over so he could pull himself up and sit, taking the photo album with him. With his thumb, he gestured over his shoulder. "Closet," he answered. That just verified he'd been snooping around where he shouldn't have, but it was far from unusual behavior for him. He was used to sticking his nose in business that wasn't his, and he meant nothing by it. "Ooh, chips and soda, you shouldn't have!" he said gleefully when he noticed what was on the tray that Knox had in his hands. He patted the bed beside him, a gleeful surge of realization that they would both be in a bed. He wouldn't try anything, but it was still nice to think about.
Wait. He shouldn't have been thinking like that. He had a girlfriend, a girlfriend that he loved. But could he sincerely say that? He cared for her, yes, but he was pretty sure it wasn't love even though he'd never experienced it before. He had a few relationships, and he was well versed in the area of love. He had to be, with his future goals. So he was rather positive that what he felt with Raine was...different that the romantic love he should have been feeling for his grandfather. The intense rush of feelings he had when he first met her had deceived him into thinking what he felt was real. He had been certain of his feelings for her until he saw Knox again and all these memories had been dredged up from his past. The time they spent together at their parent's parties, the childhood they'd shared together. Knox had always been important because Israel didn't have very many friends. He just wasn't the type of kid to put himself out there, and he used to think that it worried his parents. Since his childhood, they'd gotten used to it.
Speaking of the past, he looked back down at the photo album. He viewed them as if they were his own memories, his own past because he felt so connected to the boy's past for the time they had spent together. He ran a hand over the plastic covering over the photographs as if he were reading braille or his own mysterious language. He kept a few photo albums in his room, but he was sure that Knox had never seen any of them and he would be more than happy to share. He had been a very cute kid. And the Earth boy had been, too. "Hey, when was this?" he asked, holding the book up so Knox could see a photo of him with his mother. Maybe he should have thrown it to the side and pretend like he hadn't been looking for it, but again, he saw nothing wrong with looking at some pictures. He saw nothing embarrassing about the human body, not at all. Especially not Knox's.
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Post by KNOX CAESAR KETILL on Aug 31, 2012 20:16:01 GMT -5
ACROSS THE GREAT DIVIDE, ! | | [th][bg=000000][atrb=border,0,true] | tag ! stark && issy ;; word count ! 778 ;;
setting ! knox’s room ;; outfit ! jeans and a t-shirt ;; [cs=2][bg=060606][atrb=border,0,true,b] | It surprised him how openly Isreal admitted to the location of the photo album, how readily he basically owned up to snooping around his room. The thought that he would didn’t even occur to Knox. Maybe it should have. But he didn’t understand why Isreal had done so in the first place. He hadn’t had that many secrets. When it came to them, though, he was relieved that the wind hadn’t poked his nose into his computer (who knew if he could crack the password?). He preferred the baby pictures being discovered to his writing, though, if his writing was any good, it would probably be less embarrassing. He wasn’t sure about that, though, and couldn’t be until he got the nerves to tell someone and share his pieces. But that wasn’t likely to happen anytime soon. He just nodded mutely to Issy, startled out of words.
His gaze flickered down to the tray in his hands. He preferred healthier foods most times, but he wasn’t about to not indulge, especially when he heard how excited his friend seemed to be about the snacks he was providing. They were sort of stereotypical, right? Chips and soda? He didn’t really want to put them down on the bed, for fear either half would spill and leave crumbs or stains, but he settled for taking them and placing the tray on the floor beside the bed. If the floor got stained, that was less of a fuss than his bed, easier to clean up, and with less worry as for comfort. He wouldn’t want the crumbs from the chips getting under the blanket or something. The soda stains would just make his bed smell bad, which he wasn’t really excited about either, so he’d avoid that when possible. The floor would be easy to clean because he could spray and vacuum. If he needed help, he had no trouble admitting something like that to the maid, though she’d chastise him for putting food on the floor in the first place. That wasn’t too important either. He looked up at him, lifting an eyebrow. “D-Doesn’t… doesn’t the ho-host usually p-pro-provide s-snacks?” he asked, trying to ease himself into the situation despite the photo album that seemed to be screaming for his attention.
It didn’t help when Isreal asked another question about it, and he couldn’t pretend the book wasn’t actually lying there. He scooted around the tray to look at the book properly, eyes flickering over the memories, thinking. He remembered most of the incidents. He couldn’t place them, though, and he reached for the book, drawing his fingers over the photograph much as his friend had only moments ago, thinking. His mother looked so young in the picture, much younger than she looked nowadays, probably because she had experienced so much more stress since back then. “I don’t know,” he murmured softly, then reached into the plastic to pull the photo free. He flipped it over, revealing neat handwriting—his father’s, probably, as his mother scribbled almost illegibly—that dated the photograph and detailed the location. Seeing the name of the park they’d visited reminded him of the walk he’d been taking, how his father had taken off his shoes and insisted on walking through the wet grass barefoot. Knox had imitated him—probably because that was just what kids did. A crooked smile tugged at his expression with nostalgia. “I was six,” he supplied after a moment, “We… we went t-to Europe.”
He cleared his throat, pulling himself back to the present and trying to get back to what they were supposed to be doing. He slid the picture back into the plastic and closed the book, hoping Israel would get the message that he didn’t want to talk about the pictures, hoping even more so that he wouldn’t comment on the exposed bottom or something from the pictures. He gestured absently to his friend’s bag, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “So… uhm…” He cleared his throat again. “Wh-what did you n-need help wi-with? R-Raine… sh-she didn’t m-mention.” He really hoped it wasn’t mathematics. If it were, he’d have to talk to Raine about her ulterior motives, because she knew he wasn’t good at math. He still found it a bit hard to connect the boy sitting in front of him and his best friend as being in a romantic relationship. Of course, he wouldn’t blame Raine for dating someone else. He just didn’t want her to get in trouble with her parents. Hers were almost worse than his, when brought up on the subject. |
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Post by ISRAEL JEREMIAH VALENTINE on Aug 31, 2012 21:08:25 GMT -5
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trapped in time.
knox always seemed so fragile, like the slightest breeze would blow him over. issy admitted he fretted over that sometimes. it was what made him begin to regret being so callous in regard to infiltrating the earth's personal history. he was always brash, though, so it was hard for him to put himself in another's mind and think about how they might not like their old pictures being looked at. he just hoped that this would not cause some sort of trauma for his...friend. tutor? he wanted friendship. okay, he wanted more than friendship, but he was still trying to subdue those thoughts because he did have more than friendship with someone else, with his girlfriend who he was very loyal to.
he laughed at knox's words, nodding his head enthusiastically. should he have laughed at that? did it reveal the fact that he was crushing hardcore on the guy? no, he can't tell that, who can? his own thoughts were making him nervous. "you're right there. but you don't have to be a host for me! we're friends. you can just tell me to get my own junk." he was totally fine with that, was used to it when he went over his one or two friend's house. they didn't bother to offer him drinks and snacks on a tray. so he guessed he really did appreciate knox doing it. then again, he always was thoughtful. thoughtful and kind, moreso than israel could ever hope to be. he wasn't a terrible guy, he was just...dense. very very dense.
he watched as knox took the photo out, glad that he didn't faint or anything. issy would fan him awake, of course, but it was a good thing that he didn't need to do that. he looked over at the tray beside the bed for a moment, before deciding now might not have been the best time to crawl over his tutor to get it. he turned back to knox when he started to speak about the picture and grinned as if he'd just heard the cure for cancer. "europe! i've only been there once, to france." it was a lovely place, but he had been rather young too, only ten. he didn't remember much about it save for the city lights and the food. "where in europe was that, do you remember?" he questioned curiously. he was so adorable, as most kids were, but knox had a special kind of adorable to him.
israel had to say he was pretty disappointed when knox closed the book, hoping to get more peaks at the little kid he used to be. he wished he could have a mini-knox around like a stuffed animal he could cuddle with when going to sleep. "history..." israel said rather distractedly to the question, wishing they didn't have to get to tutoring so soon. he didn't even want it! he just wanted the tray now, which he crawled over knox now to get at a pop and a handful of chips. "but we can wait," he said, waving his hand just like any bad student trying to sway his teacher from actually teaching. "we can do something fun. and then learning later." he did not particularly want to bug knox by being a bad student, but he figured that his friend didn't really view tutoring as the epitome of fun, either. so here he was thinking they were both on the same page.
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Post by KNOX CAESAR KETILL on Sept 1, 2012 17:52:10 GMT -5
ACROSS THE GREAT DIVIDE, ! | | [th][bg=000000][atrb=border,0,true] | tag ! stark && issy ;; word count ! 933 ;;
setting ! knox’s room ;; outfit ! jeans and a t-shirt ;; [cs=2][bg=060606][atrb=border,0,true,b] | He hadn’t realized what he said was funny, and he blinked at his friend a moment in confusion. This passed quickly due to the infectious smile, and he found himself smiling back at him a little, trying to relax as he did so. Maybe his friend was realizing how awkward and nervous Knox was and trying to get him to relax, too. Of course, the earth was always nervous and awkward, so it wasn’t exactly out of place, but he liked the feeling of being able to relax and he wanted to do so, even if it came with difficulty. He wasn’t even sure why he found it so impossible to relax around other people—even his parents sort of unnerved him. Maybe he hadn’t outgrown the teenage worries that he was constantly being judged, the fear that the judgments would displease their creators, and that he would be abandoned and denied society. Yeah, right. He was also a German space explorer with a wooden leg and toupee.
While his hair was perfectly in place, it was usually rather messy no matter how many times he ran a comb through it. The only thing that managed to tame it was usually a strong-hold or strong-lock or whatever it was called kind of gel, which he rarely used and then only when his parents were dragging him to some over-the-top fancy establishment. The mess was usually because he had a habit of running his hand through it, and his fingers dragged the strands away from his scalp, encouraging them to stand up straight and at attention for notice. His mother always berated for him for it, but that was on such rare occasion that he’d never bothered to train himself not to do so. Besides, he felt he looked odd with his hair slicked back like that. He was comfortable in suits, sure, but he didn’t like messing with his hair like that. It was like it was the only thing left that was really a part of his personality, because he knew he could be quite scatterbrained.
Especially when he was nervous. He really shouldn’t be nervous at the moment, but he was.
He couldn’t figure out how he was supposed to respond, for one. He’d been raised to take care of his guests, to ask repeatedly if they wanted something if food and drinks weren’t laid out, to provide these when he felt appropriate, to take coats and shoes. He was already being incredibly rude by his parents’ standards to not have done so, but then he doubted Israel was dragging bird shit into the house and it was too hot for him to have a coat anyway. He’d provided food and drinks. Asking his friend to get them himself would mortify his parents if they ever found out, but at the same time, he didn’t feel like it’d be appropriate to just say “no, I was raised to do this kind of thing for you” even though they were friends and it was the truth. Besides, Israel might not know where to find the things he might look for, considering he hadn’t really gotten the chance to explore the kitchen and such. The thought process did remind him of something else, and, looking suddenly awake and alert, he asked, “D-Do you remem-remember where the-the bathrooms is?” |
[/b] He felt the suddenness of the question deserved laughter more than his previous statement had. Before he returned the picture, Knox glanced again at the back, thinking for a moment. “Spain, I think,” he murmured. He’d only been 6 at the time, not paying too much attention where exactly they were, only that people spoke languages he didn’t understand but his parents seemed to follow along fairly well. They’d been his translators and his tour guides. They’d always been so comfortable, no matter where they went. He envied them. They were always comfortable, it seemed, even if they were being stoic and strict and faking smiles. He definitely hadn’t inherited that bit. “Or Portugal,” he added thoughtfully, running the name through his head. It sounded like it fit into that general language group, but he didn’t know off the top of his head. He didn’t usually concern himself too much with geography. Similarly, it wasn’t usually on the front of his mind to think about people being particularly close to him, mostly because Raine was one of the few people who ever touched him. He tensed considerably when Issy was suddenly that close—close enough that he could feel his friend’s warmth as the other leaned over him to reach for the soda. His face heated, turning a shade of scarlet that would make tomatoes envious, and he bit his lip. His mind wandered into dangerous territory, his friend’s words only acting as land mines for it trip on. He cleared his throat. Doing something other than tutoring appealed to him only because it meant he wouldn’t need to stutter through various explanations (though history, in his experience, was mostly about memorization), but he also knew he’d feel guilty if they got nothing done. Raine wouldn’t be pleased either, if she found out. Raine. She was his savior, tugging his mind somewhat back to safety. “Wh-what d-did y-you h-have in mi-mind?” he stuttered out, feeling as though his hair was standing on end or something. He was tempted to grab a chip to stick in his mouth, too (or his foot), but that would probably just bring them closer and embarrass him more.[/div][/color][/size][/font][bg=000000][atrb=align,justify][atrb=border,0,true][/td][/tr] [tr][td] notes ! my playlist is providing a wonderful mood for this thread~ ;; [cs=2][bg=060606][atrb=border,0,true,b][atrb=cellspacing,0,true,bTable][atrb=cellpadding,10,true][atrb=width,410,true,bTable][/td][/tr][/table][/center] |
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Post by ISRAEL JEREMIAH VALENTINE on Sept 2, 2012 2:58:07 GMT -5
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trapped in time.
it was fun for issy to watch knox. just sit there and observe him like he was wildlife, maybe a bird. he had the movements of one, alert and awkward and yet graceful at the same time. or maybe issy's mind filtered knox's image as something different than it was, his perception of the boy changed through thoughts of how adorable he was, how his hair always seemed to be in the right place, how much he just wanted him. he could be envious sometimes, like any human, wondering how he could have hair that obeyed like that, wondering how he could smile like knox smiled. he almost sighed with his dreamy thoughts, but he caught himself. as reserved as the wind student usually was, it took a lot to catch him off.
but he couldn't help laughing at the question, his eyes bright and gleeful. how did knox come up with this stuff? he didn't even realize that it was unintentional, that his friend was nervous. he just thought that the earth graduate was being too cute for words. "i'm good. unless you want to escort me when i have to go? you don't have to go in, unless you want to." he grinned when he said it. knox could have taken it as his usual inappropriate humor, should have, because issy was just having too good a time with him. he pulled in his lips, though, realizing that he might make the kid uncomfortable. he'd never been all that sexual, and it made him wonder if the boy was a virgin. he really wanted to ask, but didn't think this was the right time for such a question.
as usual, he was watching knox, looking on as he turned over the card. issy sighed. knox said that it might just have been portugal and not spain, but he was still stuck on spain. "i always believe that spain is soooo romantic. everyone says it's france that's the most romantic country, but i really think it's spain." he'd been to france, and it was pretty but he imagined that spain was just entirely romantic. when he got married, which was going to happen, he wanted to go there for his honeymoon. he had a lot planned out about his future romance, the flowers for his wedding and the food right down to who it was with. and it was not raine. the guilt was immense, and it did not become a lesser burden when he looked at knox. he tried not to bite his lip, any manifestation of the ache in his heart too noticeable.
as he drew back, chips in hand he noticed just how close he was to his friend, and his breath caught in his throat. it was just inches, inches and he could...no. that wasn't right, he couldn't do that. he had a girlfriend, he loved her and this was just numero uno in the relationship book. you did not cheat, you did not have feelings for other people, let alone people of the same gender. yet here he was, looking intently at knox before he moved back into a sitting position, trying to get his feelings back to making actual sense. with knox they just moved into a flurry of activity, whirring and confusing him like a thousand birds taking flight. he thought he'd had feelings, human emotion, love pinned down to a science, but this was new. incredible. frightening. why him? why now? and damn, he knew the answer to those questions and it was a name. knox. he was why, he was the answer to everything.
the usual stuttered question, and issy ate the chips as he thought and stood up, looking around the room. it should have been out of his mind after issy responded so poorly to him looking at the pictures, but his eyes searched for any sign of entertainment ."hm...we could play some video games. got any? what do you do for fun nowadays?" he was amenable to whatever knox wanted, and he took a round about the room until he was on the other side of the tray, not realizing it was near his foot until he took a step and hit it. he fell over, but his hands shot out to prevent him from face-planting. blinking, he realized just how close he was to the other boy, and impulse over took him. leaning in, he pressed his lips against knox's, and it was just as he thought it would be but better.
even though his stomach felt pleasant, he realized what he'd been doing and drew back, his face the usual mask of pleasantness. "or do you wanna go outside?" it was a skillful saving of face, pretending like that never happened, that his lips did not just touch knox's. they still felt heated, and he ran his tongue over his bottom lip wishing that he could do again. but it had been a mistake to do so. a big mistake. how could he have thought of doing that? he loved raine, and...but knox. that's all he could think of, all he could defend himself with, just that name and how he felt about the boy, emotions so strong after so many years that it could not have been real. how was this not a dream, what he was feeling?
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Post by KNOX CAESAR KETILL on Sept 2, 2012 17:38:51 GMT -5
ACROSS THE GREAT DIVIDE, ! | | [th][bg=000000][atrb=border,0,true] | tag ! stark && issy ;; word count ! 909 ;;
setting ! knox’s room ;; outfit ! jeans and a t-shirt ;; [cs=2][bg=060606][atrb=border,0,true,b] | “We-well… n-no…” he stuttered out, blushing furiously. He didn’t really want to escort Issy to the bathroom, though as he thought about it, he realized it was stupid for him to be embarrassed about that. There was no reason to be embarrassed. It wasn’t like he’d dropped his pants to show him the way. Showing him where it was would probably make finding the bathroom easier than just telling him where it was anyway. That way, Knox could be sure he found the oval office and didn’t stumble into his parents’ bedroom instead or something. Why did his mind immediately go to something worse than that? He had no idea and he didn’t really want to find out. It was just…. He was flustered and a bit confused. He wasn’t sure how to handle his friend. It shouldn’t be this difficult. They’d been pretty close when they were little. Why did it feel as though that had changed? Was it just because they hadn’t seen each other in a few years? He rubbed at the side of his face. “I-I… I’m g-g-good.” And no he was just repeating what Issy had said. Why did that make him feel like such a fool?
It wasn’t foolish to go against the crowd, in his opinion. It could be dangerous, sometimes, but it wasn’t foolish. It was foolish to go with the crowd when it was doing foolish things. One should break away, after all, if everyone else was jumping off a cliff to their deaths. Disagreeing with a general stereotype that France was romantic was definitely a lesser offense, if one at all, and it sort of amused him to think about it. He remembered visiting France, too, being on the Eiffel Tower and looking around. It was like sitting in the window seat of an airplane and watching everything shrink. It was amazing, and a bit terrifying. He wouldn’t want to fall from that sort of height. But when he’d been to Spain, he’d been too young to properly judge whether it was romantic or not. “Why Spain?” he asked curiously. Surely his friend had a reason for it.
Like he (hopefully) had a reason for having to crawl over him, of all things. It was bound to be awkward. Hadn’t he thought of that when he’d gone to reach for the snacks? It wasn’t so much the weight that Knox minded—Issy wasn’t heavy enough to bother him—but rather the warmth and the proximity that made him uncomfortable. It just seemed inappropriate and odd, though he supposed that some friends were simply that comfortable with each other that this wasn’t out of place. That they could go to the bathroom together, although that one seemed way too far-fetched for friends. Maybe for a married couple. But Issy and he weren’t married. It wasn’t something he’d ever looked into. Was this sort of marriage even legal here? He’d be impressed if it were, but he’d never considered it as a possible thing for himself. He had never thought he’d actually get married. He’d pictured seeing Raine get married, sure. She’d look radiant in her wedding dress, and he’d be in the audience, watching her smile, but he couldn’t picture himself up there, signing the contract or whatever.
It didn’t seem plausible even with Issy in his lap. It was relief that flushed through him when Issy got up and starting wondering around, as if he was suddenly able to breathe again. He didn’t take it for granted, breathing in deeply instead, letting his exhales escape his lips slowly as he tried to calm his erratic heart. He wasn’t sure why it had affected him so. The fact that it had seemed to make him even more nervous. He cleared his throat, then gave answering a try. “I… I d-don’t really play-play… video games…” Was that an odd thing for a teenager to admit? Probably. What did he do for fun? He couldn’t think of many sociable activities, which he knew his parents sometimes frowned upon. His dad asked why he didn’t go out for sports. He was never interested. “I… uhm… I li-like to read…”
When he noticed Issy going down, he reached out, sitting up with every intent to catch him. His hands curled around his upper arms, and too late did he notice just how close it had brought them. He didn’t have time to stutter out words that didn’t make any sense before the other closed the little distance that had remained. It startled him, though it shouldn’t have. He enjoyed it, although he shouldn’t have. Issy had a girlfriend. A girlfriend who happened to be his best friend. They were both betraying the same person—Issy by kissing him in the first place, and he by not pulling away the minute he knew what was going on. It was just a kiss, but still. A kiss could lead to more, though his mind stubbornly refused to go there out of fear. It kept him frozen for a moment when his friend pulled away again, talking as if that would make him think that nothing had happened. Nothing really happened. So it was stupid but he did it anyway because he couldn’t resist. He leaned forward again, hesitated when he felt their noses brush, then closed his eyes, and kissed him.
God, he was a horrible person. |
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Post by ISRAEL JEREMIAH VALENTINE on Sept 3, 2012 0:01:22 GMT -5
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trapped in time.
it always seemed that knox was about to have a heart attack. that should have made him a lot more tactful, but it only encouraged his behavior. just so he could see that blush illuminate his face, the nervousness. he shouldn't have had this much fun. he knew if he was completely uninterested in the earth graduate, he would have dropped it and said, just kidding man, i wouldn't want you to do that. but he didn't take any of it back. did that make him obvious? transparent? could the boy see that there was more behind his gaze than just friendliness? he hoped not. he felt like that would ruin everything. "well poop," issy said when knox said that he was good, shifting a little as he rolled his eyes up in disappointment. and he tried not to act too disappointed, for this had gone on too far. he was really afraid he'd be transparent and this was the first time they'd actually spoken to each other in years. maybe that was why his feelings were so strong? because of the time that had passed between them?
knox asked after spain, and the wind boy took some time to think on that, wanting to give his friend the right answer. a good answer. issy rubbed his fingers together as he searched for the words. "they're all about passion. ever read the sun also rises? that's what bullfighting about, that's what their dancing is about." he waggled his eyebrows. "there's nothing more romantic than passion." and there he went again. truthfully, he couldn't help it. this would be in his future, he lived his life out of love. he wanted to help other people find it, he wanted it for himself, it was all about sex and love for him. he had liberated views on everything, which he supposed helped him. he was bisexual himself, pansexual if he actually thought about it, because by nature he believed that human sexuality was fluid. and he didn't think anybody could be a slut, it was just a terrible label that people came up with to make others feel bad. as long as one was safe, it was all right. all was fair in love.
but he didn't particularly love video games. he liked them, he played them, so he did think it was odd that knox didn't play them. who could avoid them in this day and age? it was right up there in entertainment next to television and the internet. "you're boring," issy said, though he did not really mean it. knox was his friend and would be his friend for life, no matter what he did with his spare time. "we can't do that together, knoxy!" he said when the boy brought up reading, his voice sounding like it had when he was a child and he'd been convincing knox to do something potentially naughty with him. but it was true, it wasn't like they could read with each other or anything. and that just went hand in hand with learning, which israel was eagerly avoiding.
when issy pulled away, he knew it was a mistake. the best mistake he'd made yet, but a mistake all the time. he didn't want to look at knox and see his reaction, because what would be there? god, he didn't even know if he even liked guys even while every fiber of his morality screamed that everyone was attracted to everyone no matter the gender. he didn't pull away. there was that. knox hadn't pulled away, hadn't resisted what happened, it was issy that had broke the contact against his better wishes. and so when he spoke, he thought he could move past this, even while he knew he couldn't avoid his feelings. but knox apparently wasn't having it. his breath caught when the boy moved in closer and then they were kissing again. issy cupped his cheeks, deepening it, letting one of his hands move down to the other boy's neck as this time he abandoned all thought and let it happened. he knew he wanted this, and true love beat out all else.
issy knew it wouldn't last long, however, even as he enjoyed the feeling of knox's skin under his fingers, the feeling of his mouth on fire. he was the one to break away again, meeting knox's eyes with a concern light to them. "i...raine," he said meekly, dropping his head for a moment. oh god, raine. he was taken, he had another girl, but... realizing what it could have sounded like, he shook his head and said. "god knox, i really like you. i feel like shit, but i do and...i'm sorry." he didn't know what to do. he just swallowed deep, dragging his hand down his face as a new kind of panic fluttered in his stomach. oh god, oh god, what did he do? he grabbed his bag hurriedly and left the room, heading downstairs so he wouldn't have to face the mistake he just made.
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Post by KNOX CAESAR KETILL on Sept 14, 2012 22:23:16 GMT -5
ACROSS THE GREAT DIVIDE, ! | | [th][bg=000000][atrb=border,0,true] | tag ! stark && issy ;; word count ! 805 ;;
setting ! downstairs hallway of Knox’s house ;; outfit ! jeans and a t-shirt ;; [cs=2][bg=060606][atrb=border,0,true,b] | He liked it, probably a little too much. He usually knew that liking something this much was a bad idea.He always ended up wanting to do the thing he liked over and over again until it came back to bite him in the ass. Kissing, of course, was a bit more innocent than drugs and alcohol and sex, but it still had potential to be a bad thing. He still liked it. He liked the way Issy cupped his cheeks, the warmth spreading from his palms into his skin, even when one of those hands slid down to his neck. He liked the way the hand felt on his neck, almost like a protective shield, protecting him from some unseen evil. He liked that, despite the circumstances, there was something sweet and chaste and innocent about the kiss to contrast whatever Issy was protecting him from. He didn’t so much like that he wasn’t sure what more to do, but he liked the way it felt nonetheless. He liked the kiss. He liked Issy, which he felt made it okay that they were kissing even though…
Oh, god.
When Issy pulled away, Knox felt like his stomach was about to empty itself through his esophagus. It had nothing to do with the boy in front of him. He found him rather attractive, actually. The nausea had more to do with the fact that the words spilling from the other’s lips were making him feel horrible. Raine. He hadn’t forgotten about her, no, but… but he’d ignored the thought of her presence because he was selfish and wanted to feel the kiss a second time. She was such an important fixture in this situation. She was Issy’s girlfriend. She was Knox’s best friend. She was the one who had instigated this meeting. And now… they were taking advantage of that by betraying her. He felt even more horrified at what they had just done, but he was willing to take responsibility for it. After all, surely Raine thought of Issy as straight or something. She knew Knox wasn’t. She probably wouldn’t believe that he’d had the courage to kiss Issy, but it was worth a try. And the one kiss was his fault in all honesty. There was nothing honest about this.
The confession didn’t help him in any was or form. He wasn’t sure how to react to it. The only people who had ever said they crushed on him had ever been girls, and he’d been able to turn them down the two or three times it happened because he actually didn’t have any interest in them. He didn’t want a girlfriend. He wasn’t really looking for a boyfriend, either, but the idea appealed to him a little when he looked at Issy. No. Don’t let your thoughts wander there. He took a deep breath, lips parting to share some sort of response, but the other was grabbing his backpack and running away.
Knox darted after him, hoping that Issy wouldn’t end up falling down the stairs as he knew some people were likely to. He’d taken the steps so often that he knew them well enough, but it was still halfway through the hallway before he caught up with the wind student. Once he was within reach, Knox grasped his arm and spun him around, using his height to his advantage, though he was actually barely taller than him. Once they faced each other, he wasn’t quite sure what to do. He stood there. His breathing was a bit uneven, as if his exhales were deeper than his inhales, making him feel as if he were quickly losing oxygen in his bloodstream and to his brain. He chewed on his lip, hand sliding around Issy’s wrist because holding his hand seemed like further betrayal to Raine and because grabbing anywhere else on the arm seemed like it would be painful.
He took a deep breath. “You don’t have to leave,” he murmured, eyes somehow managing to stay on Issy’s as the words left his lips without his usual stutter, which surprised him on its own. He hadn’t thought the words through. He hadn’t considered any possible effects as he usually would. He hadn’t thought how better to phrase it, as he usually did before he spit out a phrase. This time, it seemed to be more of a plea, words that escaped him because they needed to, not because he let them separate from all his other thoughts. Very few comprehensible thoughts had been in his mind when he had found a way to express that without even realizing he wanted to. He was still staring at Issy, still with his teeth in his bottom lip. “We didn’t get around to the tutoring.” He swallowed, knowing it was a BS reason to provide. |
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Post by ISRAEL JEREMIAH VALENTINE on Sept 19, 2012 20:11:23 GMT -5
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trapped in time.
knox's silence after the kiss was not endearing or cute for once. it was downright terrifying. it made israel wonder. did knox hate him now? did he do something so bad that he could never be forgiven? it felt that way as he tried to swallow down the guilt that tried to suffocate him. knox was a good guy, he was a great guy who never wanted to hurt anyone. and because of him, he betrayed his best friend. no, he didn't betray her, i did. he could not push any of the guilt onto knox. he was the one who made the first move. but he kissed me back. the warmth in his stomach accompanied the guilt as he tried to assess the situation. knox kissed him back and it had felt so good and perfect and right.
except it wasn't. that's what he told himself over and over again. he was the one who betrayed raine, and he couldn't help thinking of her, smiling and happy as she always seemed to be. she deserved so much more. she deserved the fairy tale kind of boyfriend, the fairy tale relationship. she deserved someone who would never go behind her back and do what issy had just done. he'd always thought of himself as a good boyfriend. he'd always made sure that he put his significant other first, made sure that he was doing all the right things. he remembered anniversaries and did small things to make his loved ones happy even on normal days. he'd done all this for raine, and the simple act of kissing another person made him feel like the scum of the earth.
he read all the books and did as much matchamaking he could, and through the years he knew that cheating was wrong. it made everyone involved feel like crap. and there was no excuse. especially because it is easier to break up. but that was the thing. israel didn't plan this. it wasn't some sordid affair that was planned in the office between two sex-deprived co-workers. it was him, seeing his childhood friend again after too many years and having these feelings come up and crush him. it was an "in the moment" thing. knox had been so close and his heart was pushing him forward, making him wonder how those lips would feel against his. the worst part was how good it had felt, how much he wanted to do it again. he was starting to panic now, gripping his bag in his hand. his heart thundering in his chest as he realized just how bad his betrayal had been, everything that was wrong with his emotions and how the pulled him closer to knox even when he was trying to leave.
he needed to talk to raine. he knew that. he needed to come clean because the worst thing to do was pretend like this never happened and ignore it. relationships required honesty, even when all the sitcoms said otherwise. on screen they played it for shits and giggles, let's not tell the wife about sneaking to the game, or let's bitch about a marriage because we are so unhappy. but he knew the truth. he wasn't married, and he knew little about his parents' marriage considering how distant they were with him now, but he liked to believe in the morals he had. he'd always been a good kid, he liked to think. sure, he screwed up a lot, he was thick in the head, and he didn't always realize why some things he was doing may be wrong. but he was always honest, especially with raine.
he loved that girl, but now he knew it was differently than how he thought. it was different than what he felt with knox, and it shouldn't have been that way. she'd been his girlfriend for months now, it's been long enough that he should have been certain. and he was until knox came back into the picture and he couldn't help his actions. it was no excuse, but it was an explanation, reason behind his betrayal. and would she accept it? a new wave anxiety came with wondering how she would react. would she hit him? would she yell at him? she was such a nice girl, he couldn't imagine it. but he had always been a nice boy, and he'd proven what he was capable of. how could she forgive him of the worst crime that could be committed in a relationship?
he hadn't expected knox to come after to him, but then he was being turned around and he was forced to look at the boy. and usually he'd have absolutely no problem with that, but now it seemed almost too much to take. israel searched his eyes. He should have just let him go. they both knew what they did, how wrong it had been. raine was knox's best friend, israel's girlfriend. the knife sunk deeper into his gut. Just one kiss. he knew as well as anyone that one kiss was one too much. the betrayal had settled into his skin, seep into his bones, and it was becoming a part of him. his hand closed around his wrist and issy shut his eyes for a moment, taking in a deep breath before daring to look at knox again.
he was nervous. maybe more nervous than knox, for once. and he didn't know whether or not staying was a good idea. he just couldn't help the flood of relief because of the fact that the boy still even wanted to be around him. "all right, i'll..." he looked down for a moment, still couldn't handle it quite yet. it was tearing at his stomach, making him more antsy than he had been in a while. "uh...what...what were we going to work on?" his eyes went toward knox's room but he was uncertain. scared. a part of it was because he didn't know what he might do with him now. the other was awkwardness over what happened, what he'd done.
he made his way to the room, though, and set his bag back on the bed. he wanted to talk to knox about it, but at the same time he didn't know what to say. what could be said? i really like you and i shouldn't because it's so wrong. he knew what he had to do, and he didn't want to. he just wanted to ignore it all, the scary things that he had to face. so the boy just took out his papers and thumbed through them, trying to focus his mind on the work and not knox's soft lips or the feeling of his skin or anything that was making the heat rise to his face.
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